Chapter 7 – “My elder sister is an Evil God-sama”

I replaced ‘royal guard’ with ‘household guard’. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it last time, but it’s finally come to me.

Oh yeah, and “No retreat! No bowing down! No looking back!” is a quote from Sauzaa of Hokuto no Ken fame, and happens to be my favourite HnK quote. He screams it upon defeat at the hands of Kenshirou, and jumps off the pyramid to fight him.

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When I was immersed in the joy of receiving the order to destroy the capital, that human had suddenly appeared and continued her misdirected words.

That human still thinks that I’m her younger sister? There should be limits to misunderstandings. Even though I spared her life out of mercy, she really is too foolish!

This is why those diminutive humans are beyond saving. But though they were only a temporary family, I did live with them for over ten years. I’ll take her head painlessly. I filled my hand with mana, feeling an emotion similar to compassion.

“Human, even if only temporarily, you were my elder sister. I will at least give you a painless death.”

I flashed a knife hand strike towards the human’s neck.

The sound of an impact resounded through the room――――

I’ve cut it.

But for some reason the response against my hand felt strange. It was like hitting a dense wall of magic power.

I-, It can’t be, how…

Of all things, there was not a single injury on that human.

Impossible!?

If I put magic power into my strike, even a dragon, famed to be the toughest in the world, could be cut through like butter.

“Surely you did not show mercy to them?”

The Viceroy must have thought that I had eased my hand as well, for he questioned me as such.

“Viceroy, that is an insult to me. I put in enough power to even bisect a dragon!”

I understand the Viceroy’s doubts. But I did not ease my hand. Being groundlessly suspected like this is insulting. After that, those in the surroundings began flinging insults upon me.

The only thing you bastards don’t run out of is things to say. There is something wrong with this. Is this one truly a human?

While I was feeling surprised, the Viceroy took everyone outside. In other words, the rest was up to me.

Kuh-, fretting about it will get me nowhere. I probably unconsciously relaxed earlier because they were only a human. This time I’ll do it seriously. As I was firing up my spirit,

“Camilla-sama, please leave this to me.”

My household guard Nielsen said this, and stepped out before me.

Nielsen is always like this. Perhaps he’s a worrywart, but he always takes the initiative to test out irregular dangers like this.

But it would shame me to step down after being looked down on like this!

“Nielsen, there’s no need for you to step forward. I have received my orders.”

“No, you have only just awakened, Camilla-sama. I do not believe you are at your full strength yet. This is a job for I, the captain of the household guard.”

He stubbornly refused to yield to me. He has always been stubborn at times like these. It’s true that I have only just awakened, and it is also a fact that I’m not in my normal condition. Finally deciding to leave it to a member of the household guard, I stepped backwards with the meaning of leaving it to him.

Seeing me step back, Nielsen clenched his fists and let out his killing intent. Filled with fighting spirit, his touki quickly swelled up.

Hu hu, at this point, even I would have a hard time against Nielsen.

Now then, human, what will you do?

“――――I’m going to ask just in case but, could it be that you’re serious?”

Paying no heed to Nielsen’s pressure, she provoked Nielsen, implying that he should “Get serious”.

How interesting. Then shall we have a look at your true power!?

And so, the battle between Nielsen and the human began. Nielsen responded to the provocation, and went all out from the start. He played his hidden card.

Bomber Fire[Super Demonic Flame Burst Fist]…

If I took that head on, even being one of the Six Demon Generals, I wouldn’t escape unharmed. Many strong warriors were buried in the last war by this mighty technique. Letting off incredible touki, Nielsen leapt forward.

Mmn. I can feel magic power even greater than the time of the last war. Something like a human will probably be turned to mincemeat in an instant. The victor has been decided, hasn’t it.

But a situation beyond my expectations occurred…

What on earth is she?

She took Nielsen’s fist head on. But despite that, she didn’t seem to care, as though she was handling a child.

Should I join the fray as well?

It pains me to disgrace Nielsen’s way of the knight, but I cannot allow my most trusted subordinate to be done in.

I quietly let out my magic power, and searched for an opening to counterattack. But far from finding one, the moment I showed signs of going on the attack, she glanced towards me.

C-, Could she have sensed my killing intent or something?

While receiving Nielsen’s blows, she hasn’t let her guard towards me down in the slightest.

What an incredible expert…

At this rate, Nielsen will be killed!

But there are no openings. I could do nothing but watch the battle in a daze.

And then, in the end…

She shouted something, and with three hits, only three hits, she buried the subordinate I trusted the most amongst all my kin.

While I was feeling shocked at Nielsen’s defeat,

“Timu, do you have anything to say?”

she dared to draw near me, and provoked me as such.

Hmph, are you telling me to praise you? My irritation grew at those haughty words of hers, but her strength was the real thing. I hadn’t encountered such a powerful expert even in the previous war.

“Human-, no, with that power you cannot be. What on earth are you?”

She should not be a simple human. If you consider only close combat, then Nielsen’s strength is a match for the Six Demon Generals. And she easily crushed that. It can’t be helped that I wonder about her true form. But she did not answer my question, and continued to draw near.

“So you plan on finishing me off next!? But I am the one known as Camilla of the Flash; I cannot hesitate.”

Indeed. I am one of the Six Demon Generals, Camilla of the Flash, and cannot back down in the face of a strong warrior. I’ll go all out and defeat you.

Now then, what should I do?

I seems that they have the advantage in close combat.

But then how will they fair against magic? It is often the case that those that have enhanced resistance against physical attacks are weak against magic.

I decided to fire off the most powerful magic I had.

“Hmph, this is my most powerful secret technique. O magic bullet, become countless stars! Star Freya![Super Demonic Star Magic Bullets!]”

Star Freya[Super Demonic Star Magic Bullets]…

It’s my most powerful secret technique, and is an emission type magic. Homing magic bullets that number even in the thousands rain down upon the target. It’s impossible to escape. And moreover, even a single bullet has the power to completely annihilate a low ranked demon.

“Feel free to become chunks of flesh!”

I won’t miss. Feel free to become garbage in an instant.

Thousands of magic bullets hit her dead on. Even amongst the strong foes of the past, not one had survived after being hit with this many magic bullets. There is no way to defeat this secret technique of mine except to defend before it’s invoked.

But, once again, my expectations were overturned――

I-, Is such a thing possible?

Indeed, they had hit her dead on. All of the bullets were hitting her, but there was no effect. On occasion, she would look like it hurt, but that was all.

What on earth is her body made of?

I had stiffened from the shock, when suddenly, she dashed forward and got behind me.

C-, Crap!

I had my arms pinned behind me, and was lifted off the ground.

“Wha-!? What do you intend to do to me? U-, Unhand me! I-, I can’t move!?”

W-, Why can’t I shake free?

Despite mustering up all of my strength, I couldn’t escape from her bindings. My power can even tear open a box welded shut, so why?

While shocked and writhing about, she showed her intention of hitting me with her open palm.

“Hmph, physical attacks will not affect me so easily, you know. This body of mine has a magical barr――Guhah-!”

W-, What just happened?

The moment I heard a slapping sound, my body was assaulted by a pain like everything inside my was burning to pieces. My body always has a magical barrier protecting it.

Even though half-baked attack shouldn’t even bend it…

“Timu, please reflect on what you’ve done!”

Her palm assaulted my buttocks. She struck me as though my barrier were useless. Moreover, she clad her palm in a massive amount of magic power, so being struck is unbearable.

“Hahh, hahh, i-, impossible! To so easily break through my magic shield――――A-, and moreover, to put in such an enormous amount of mana.”

So easily overcoming my magic barrier, and that gargantuan magic power; what on earth are you!?

Even after that, she let out more words of unknown meaning, and relentlessly struck my buttocks.

Hahh, hahh, each time I receive her strike, the mana in my body runs backwards. Terrifying magic power is rampaging inside my body.

Kuh-, what’s happening? But, I won’t lose! I’m one of the Demon Generals, Camilla of the Flash!

I shouted with all my strength that I would not lose, but each time I was struck, it felt like my spirit was being saved away.

“Hahh, hahh, if you’re going to kill me then kill me!”

…But she would not kill me, and single-mindedly continued to strike me.

Does she intend to continue tormenting me for fun like this?

Hahh, hahh, it’s certainly possible. The people of this world hold tremendous hatred for we of the Demon King Army.

――――Is that what it is!?

The strikes were completely unceasing, and moreover, the power of the strikes were meticulously adjusted so that I wouldn’t lose consciousness. Because of that it was just unbearable.

How long is this torture going to continue for…?

It’s terrifying. Could she be intending on continuing until my spirit breaks?

The moment I arrived at that thought, some taut thread in my heart snapped.

“Uu-, uuuuu――――I-, I was wrong. Please stop it alreadyy!”

Please just kill me already!

I abandoned my pride as a Demon General, my pride as a demon, and entreated her. Don’t degrade the vanquished any further. But, she showed absolutely no sign of killing me.

“Uu-, uuu… K-, Kill me! H-, Having received this kind of humiliation, I can never live it down!”

What on earth does she want to do? I gazed at her resentfully.

“Timu, listen up.”

“W-, What…?”

She looked at me with serious eyes, and talked to me about herself.

Hearing her story, I was shocked…

Shockingly, my elder sister Tilea turned out to be a reincarnater, and was originally the Evil God Dark Matter!

It seems that before she reincarnated, Evil God-sama lived in a nation called ‘Jyapan’. Apparently in ‘Jyapan’, twenty odd years after you’re born, you leave the shelter of your parents’ home and become independent.

How shocking!

Normally a demon lives under the shelter of their parent’s home for hundreds of years. Children will immediately lose their lives when an enemy attacks after all. In their parents’ homes, demons will save up their mana, and learn how to battle.
So in ‘Jyapan’ once you turn twenty something and become independent, almost everybody joins the “Companee” and works for provisions, is it? But it seems that because of the terrible harshness of the circumstances in ‘Jyapan’, each year tens of thousands of people take their lives.

Unbelievable!?

Even we of the Demon King Army that live the epitome of harshness don’t die in such numbers. Moreover, for the deaths to be not because of war, but because they take their own lives, just how terrifying of an environment is it? But it seems that almost everyone subordinates themselves to the ‘Companee’ and work as they shave off their life.

Isn’t there any dissatisfaction? Don’t uprisings occur?

I was thinking these questions, but it seems that as you’d expect, they do happen. The ones who rise in revolt against this trend are a group called ‘Niits’. They’re a group that flies under the banner of “If you work, you lose.” and endure friction with their parents and surroundings as they battle, and it seems that back before Evil God-sama was an “Evil God”, she also battled against her parents each day as a member of this group.

How shocking!

Being the parents of Evil God-sama, they were probably quite the powerful experts. Given that she battled such people each day, there’s no mistaking that it was an extraordinary battlefield. Evil God-sama probably class up’d during these battles.

Even though I only finally surpassed my parent’s mana after a thousand years, Evil God-sama tried to overcome her parents after only a few decades.

And it seems that Evil God-sama had comrades in arms as well, but with each passing year, one by one they would accept defeat, and subordinate themselves to the ‘Companee’.

But with “No retreat! No bowing down! No looking back!” as her motto, Evil God-sama wouldn’t admit defeat, and continued to battle on it seems.

How dignified!

And on the fateful day, having received her final provision, ‘Whell Fere’, Evil God-sama gathered her determination for the final showdown, and in the end she was hit by a ‘truk’ and met her grand end in battle――――

But still, what on earth is a ‘truk’!? This is Evil God-sama who shrugged off even my most greatest secret technique. And this attack ended that Evil God-sama’s life. A Ragnarok class forbidden spell. There’s no mistaking that it’s something of unthinkable destructive power.

“F-, For something like that to have been――――W-, What have I done!?”

After hearing her story to the end, I realised that I committed acts of rudeness against an unimaginable personage. To have lumped such an esteemed personage together with humans, even stupidity should have its limits. Regret surged inside me for the rudeness I committed against this great personage. I’ll probably be killed. It can’t be helped. That’s just how greatly I’ve blundered after all. But, Evil God-sama didn’t hand down punishment, and was kind enough to give words of guidance to this weak me.

Deeply moved, I trembled, when suddenly Evil God-sama bestowed upon me a gentle embrace, and even granted me warm words.

Thinking back, even though I’m one of the Demon Generals who directly serves the Demon King Zorg-sama, I’ve only ever been seen as nothing more than one of the generals. And there seemed to be an eternally large distance between us. But, a personage as great as, no, even greater than Zorg-sama, is treating me, this frail me, as though I’m their real sister.

To have such honourable and unmerited expectations placed on me, what should I do to repay this favour?――

Indeed, there is no way but to offer my heart and body and loyally serve her. That’s why I did as my heart told me to, and expressed my feelings to Evil God-sama.

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tlnote:

“There should be limits to misunderstandings.”

Oh, the irony…

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Chapter 6 – “By ‘Evil God-sama’, you mean me?”

“There’s no response. He’s just like a corpse.” is actually a stock system phrase from Dragon Quest.

Dark History/Black History（黒歴史, kurorekishi）, if you don’t already know, is a tongue-in-cheek Japanese term about embarassing things that a person doesn’t want to remember about their past. Usually stupid shit they do like writing a love poem, or dyeing their hair blonde for a high school debut. Perhaps dating somebody they really shouldn’t have.

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It seems like Jiisan is out cold, huh.

-poke poke-

I try lightly poking him with my foot.

…………

Mn, there’s no response. He’s just like a corpse.

Now then, since all the obstructions are gone, let’s get to the main point. I turn back towards Timu.

“Timu, do you have anything to say?”

“Human-, no, with that power you cannot be. What on earth are you?”

“Phew~ It seems like you still don’t get it at all, do you?”

Like I thought, it seems that she hasn’t reflected yet. I was thinking that if Timu regretted her actions and apologised then I would forgive her. But, she’s continuing to act as her event character Camilla to avoid the issue.

Well, it’s not as though I don’t understand the feelings of not wanting to apologise. Her feeling of resentment about me leaving her aside and making her feel lonely is probably quite strong. But using chuunibyou to run away from reality will only bring unhappiness to Timu’s life. I suffered because of this in my previous life.

It can’t be helped. This is for Timu’s sake. I closed the distance to swing the whip of love.

“So you plan on finishing me off next!? But I am the one known as Camilla of the Flash; I cannot hesitate.”

Timu began to chant some sort of incantation-sounding chant. And then Timu’s body was enveloped by a magic circle.

“Timu? What are you doi――”

“Hmph, this is my most powerful secret technique. O magic bullet, become countless stars! Star Freya![Super Demonic Star Magic Bullets!]”

“Wha-!? Magic!”

No way! Timu is using magic. Something like bullets of magic are being created from Timu’s hands. And moreover, in countless numbers.

Amazing. Just when did Timu learn to do something like this?

Certainly, it’s possible to use magic in this world. But by no means can everybody use it. Only chosen people who have foundations in magic can use it.

Timu, you…

You’re actually a genius at magic as well, aren’t you!

Today has been nothing but surprises. Her running speed was amazing, and then there was her ability as an actress, and then I found out that she can even use magic.

There’s a school of magic in the capital. And if she enrols there and trains hard, she might be able to work for the palace in the future. Timu, even though you have this much talent…

Timu, I’m begging you. Please take care of yoursel――Huh? Oi oi, isn’t Timu kinda aiming those magical bullets at me?

Isn’t this bad-

“Feel free to become chunks of flesh!”

“Ah-, ow, that hurts-, owowow! H-, Hey, Timu, it hurts I said――”

Just as I expected, the magical bullets were shot from Timu’s hand and hit me. A rapidfire of shots flew from Timu’s hand and hit me without even giving me a chance to breath.

Uu, each time one hits me my skin stings.

How do I say this? Right now Timu is…

Right, she’s like a kid randomly firing BB bullets from their model gun.

…I see. So this is why Timu’s chuunibyou has progressed beyond my expectations. Being able to use magic is like having a kind of status. It’s easy to think that you’re someone special. In Beruga town where I live, the people who can use magic is basically limited to the former adventurer Guard Captain Bizef after all.

Moreover, there’s probably no mistaking that Timu has been practising in secret. And she managed to learn how to use this emission type magic. Even though this is probably beginner’s magic, she probably learnt this all by herself without anybody teaching her.

It’s amazing! She probably wanted somebody to praise her. I bet she especially wanted me, her older sister, to see it.

But I was completely preoccupied with my cooking, and didn’t pay her any attention. And it seems likely that while she was lonely and using magic all by herself, that jiisan(Nielsen) saw her and said, “What’s with this child? She can use magic! And she’s cute! She is surely the master I sought, Camilla-sama! Camilla-tan, lick lick“.

And what happened after that goes without saying. He flattered Timu with cunning words and aggravated her chuunibyou.

Damn it, that damned pervert(Nielsen)! You’re not a jiisan anymore. You’re just a pervert. I’m getting angry again. Should I kick him once more to be safe!?

No, but there’s something I should be doing before that. Disciplining Timu.

Right now, Timu is just like a kid who had somebody buy them a model gun. Usually when a parent buys their child a toy gun, they teach them not to shoot it at others. Teaching them the rules is a matter of course. As her older sister, I have to teach her properly.

That you can’t fire magic at people!

“Geez, Timu, enough already!”

I ran through the barrage of bullets and forced Timu’s arms behind her back. And like that, I lifted Timu’s bottom up. Indeed; this is the typical spanking position.

“Wha-!? What do you intend to do to me? U-, Unhand me! I-, I can’t move!?”

“Timu, naughty children need to be spanked.”

I waved my hand back and forth and showed Timu a spanking motion.

“Hmph, physical attacks will not affect me so easily, you know. This body of mine has a magical barr――Guhah-!”

I spanked Timu’s bottom, whether she agreed or not. Timu let out a cry of suffering. I almost stopped my hand unconsciously, but if I went easy on her here, it would all be for nothing.

“Timu, please reflect on what you’ve done!”

“Hahh, hahh, i-, impossible! To so easily break through my magic barrier――――A-, and moreover, to put in such an enormous amount of mana.”

Timu, you’re still going to speak that nonsense? It seems that you haven’t been punished enough, have you?

I spanked her bottom again.

But Timu continued to say things such as “mana” and “the pride of the Demon King Army” and wouldn’t reflect.

It can’t be helped. I spanked her more.

Each time Timu let out words that weren’t reflecting, I spanked her. With the sound of each sharp slap, I could hear Timu’s moan. Her bottom has become red too.

Uuu, this really is tough. I don’t want to see my beloved little sister suffering. But discipline is important. Taking care that it’s not strong enough to hurt her, but still strong enough that she’ll reflect, I continue to spank her as I regulate the power――――

“Guha-, gahah-! Haa, haa, I-, I’ll die.”

“Should I give you another hit?”

“Uu-, uuuuu――――I-, I was wrong. Please stop it alreadyy!”

Timu finally began to break down in tears. There’s still a little chuunibyou left in her speech, but it seems that she’s finally reflected. Seeing Timu crying hurts my heart.

Timu, I’m sorry.

Even though it was necessary, I still hit my beloved little sister. It was tough for me too. Mn, I’ll stop the scolding here. Timu’s already reflected after all, so I need to comfort her, right?

“Timu.”

I spoke to her in the gentlest voice I could muster.

“Uu-, uuu… K-, Kill me! H-, Having received this kind of humiliation, I can never live it down!”

Timu gave me a frantic and angry glare.

Timu, humiliation, you said?

――――I see! I’m sure Timu is embarassed. Not only did her chuunibyou get really bad, but on top of that she even raised her hand against her older sister. She’s definitely worrying about that. In my past life when my parents gave me a warning and I acted violently, I wanted to die as well. Because my behaviour was shameful, I just kept thinking about it. Timu is probably feeling the same way right now.

――――Alright. Then right now, I’ll talk to Timu about my past life. I hadn’t planned on telling anyone about the memories of my past life. I’d hate for them to think I was a crazy after all. But I have to say it. If I tell her about how in my past life, I had a severe case of chuunibyou and raised my hand against my family, Timu should be able to empathise and understand.

Compared to me, Timu has absolutely nothing to be ashamed about.

And to comfort her, I’ll let her know just how much I care about her.

“Timu, listen up.”

“W-, What…?”

I gazed at Timu with a serious expression.

And then about how I was a reincarnater, about how I was born in a country called Japan in my past life, about how in my past life I suffered from chuunibyou, ah, but since she wouldn’t understand the word ‘chuunibyou’, I confessed that as the ‘Evil God Dark Matter’ I did some extremely cringeworthy things.
And then, even about how in the end I was run down by a truck, and passed away all too quickly…

…I told her all of it. It ended up being all of my dark history, didn’t it?

Does Timu understand what I’m really trying to say?

“F-, For something like that to have been――――W-, What have I done!?”

Mmn, though she seems to be in shock, it looks like she believes me.

“Timu, right now you might be weak. But you’ll definitely become strong. You can definitely become strong! Fate has chosen me to be reincarnated as your older sister after all. I’ll always watch over you.”

“I-, I――”

“Let’s keep getting along, okay?”

To show her that we’d made up, I hugged Timu.
And in my arms, Timu looked up at me,

“Yes. As Evil God-sama commands――”

and said that to me with enraptured eyes.

W-, Why?

It seems that my troubles are going to continue.

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tl: “mana” and “the pride of the Demon King Army” is actually “我(ware)” and “the pride of the Demon King Army”. Using 我 in Japanese as a self-pronoun is very umm, grand, I guess. A young girl using it as her default personal pronoun would be a great show of chuunibyou I suppose.

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Chapter 5 – “What’s with this chuunibyou jiisan!?”

For skills, I’m doing it opposite to Japanese. The readings are outside, while the meaning is in brackets for my tl.
Btw, I’m going to go back and change ‘pot’ from the earlier chapters to ‘pan’. I don’t cook, so it turns out that ‘pot’ means something a little more specific than what I thought it did.

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Timu hit me. She raised her hand against her older sister. Probably using these Demon Army theatrics as an excuse, she hit me as revenge for the scolding earlier. As I thought, nothing good comes out of excessive chuunibyou.

I remember. I remember how in my past life, I was too much of a chuunibyou, and raised my hands against my parents. My parents were nagging because they were worried about my future, so I threw things at them, and rampaged. On top of that, I even spat out “I am the Evil God, Dark Matter. Future? Job? In the face of the crisis this world faces, they are meaningless. It is all foolishness!” in the end, and locked myself up in my room.

My parents couldn’t do a thing about me, and just looked sad…

I don’t want Timu to experience that too. I swore that this time I would treasure my family. Timu is probably in her rebellious phase right now. Since the year began, we’ve made Timu do nothing but help around the shop after all. I have fun helping with both the shop and the cooking so I just ended up assuming that Timu would feel the same.

…Yeah.

Timu is still a kid, at an age where she wants to play. Because I’ve been too engaged with my cooking, I haven’t really played with Timu recently. There’s no mistake that Timu ended up participating in this sort of gathering because she was lonely.

Timu, I’m sorry.

――――But there are things that you should do, and things that you shouldn’t. Staying out until late at night. Raising your hand to your family when they scold you. For the sake of her future, as her older sister I need to make it clear what’s acceptable and what isn’t.

I’ll steel my heart!

In my old world, the world debatedly passionately about whether corporal punishment was right or wrong. I think that the key is whether or not there’s love behind it. I want Timu to grow up to be a fine adult. That’s why even if she ends up hating me, right now I need to swing the cane of lov- Oh wait, hang on, hang on. There are too many eyes here. Doing something like that in public will just have the opposite effect. On the contrary, there’s a chance that she’ll rebel and then deflate. People do often say not to scold children in public after all.

What should I do…

While I was agonising over how I should discipline Timu,

“Camilla, I’ll leave the disposal of that human to you. Everyone, let us depart!”

Suddenly, the armoured man said that, and brought everyone outside the cave.

Oooh! As expected of Armoured Man-San. Capable men really are different!

Without destroying the mood of the event, he basically said “The rest is up to your family to discuss, okay? ♪” and left us alone. With this, I can’t refer to him without -san anymore, huh.

After I conveyed my gratitude to Armoured Man-san through my eyes, I turned to Timu to scold her.

――――Mn!?

There’s still one person left. Amongst everyone around us leaving one by one, one man remains standing by Timu’s side.

He’s maybe 60 I guess?

His hair is silver-grey, he’s tall and has a stylish moustache. He’s wearing a suit with an emblem at the torso, and looks like somebody you’d find in a Hollywood film. I guess you could describe him as a stylish older gentleman.

…Why’s he still here? Even though Armoured Man-san went through all that trouble to be considerate, he’s ruining it all.
Even though everybody else understood Armoured Man-san’s true intentions and kindly went outside.

Jiisan, learn to read the atmosphere!

“Camilla-sama, please leave this to me.”

Saying that, the jiisan stepped out before Timu as though to protect her, and faced me in a fighting stance.

What the heck?

He plans on entering battle mode?

What the heck does he mean by glaring at me with an even more fearless expression?

“Nielsen, there’s no need for you to step forward. I have received my orders.”

“No, you have only just awakened, Camilla-sama. I do not believe you are at your full strength yet. This is a job for I, the captain of your household guard.”

“Umm… I need to have a chat with Timu…”

“Human, you have brought disgrace upon Camilla-sama. I shall have you compensate with your life!”

“――――I’m going to ask just in case but, could it be that you’re serious?”

He knows that everything that’s happened is just an event, right? The bloodthirst in his glares has been no joke for a while now, but…

“Am I serious, you ask? Hmph, consider it an honour. For I shall allow you to withness my ultimate secret technique!”

“‘Ultimate secret technique’? You can’t mean――”

The jiisan has his hands clenched into fists and looks incredibly fired up. It’s vigorous enough that his body is trembling, and it seems like his veins will pop.

“Secret Technique, Bomber Fire![Super Demonic Flame Burst Fist!]”

I have a bad feeling about this.

H-, He’s serious… He’s seriously become Camilla’s subordinate, and has freaking taken Armoured Man-san’s words at face value.

T-, This guy’s a chuunibyouuuuuuu!

“UOHHHHH! DIEEEE!”

While raising a roar, the jiisan charged forward and thrust out his fist at my head. His fist struck my temple dead on.

“Ow-!”

This guy seriously hit me. The jiisan is beating me up. His fist accurately hit my chin up, and then he drove it into my stomach.

Is this guy right in the head? I am technically a girl you know! And despite that, this guy is beating me up without hesitation. Thinking about it normally, this is assault, and would be a no-go, socially.

Shit, that was scary. From the very beginning he let out a war cry and came flying towards me to hit me, so I was shocked.

But… he’s weak. Way too weak.

How do I say this, his fists themselves don’t have any real power behind them.

Why…? It feels like a crying primary schooler hitting you in a tantrum. An elderly jiisan is frantically hitting a girl with all his might. The scene is way too surreal. Considering his cringeworthy actions, and the chuuni-esque lines he’s been spewing, and the fact that he can’t seperate reality from play, there’s probably no way this guy has a job. There’s no mistaking it. This jiisan is this world’s version of an “M.A.N. (middle-aged NEET)”.

――――Alright! This is a good chance to make Timu look at reality. I’ll show her just how hopeless a person suffering an acute case of chuunibyou is. It would be simple to just shake him free, but I decided to continue letting him hit me.

“HAAHHHH! EI! HAHP! YAH!”

The jiisan continued driving his fists into me, screaming kiai’s all the while.

See? Look Timu. Look at this disappointing jiisan. If you don’t get a job like an adult, avert your eyes from reality, and continue to immerse yourself in fantasy, this is how you’ll end up, you know!

…I wonder if Timu has understood.

When I chanced a glance at Timu, I found that she was gazing at the jiisan in worry. Her gaze looks worried for the jiisan.

But why? Why is she worried for this dangerous jiisan who’ll even attack girls?

――――I see! I’m sure that there’s a good chance that this jiisan is the reason for Timu becoming a chuunibyou. He kept going ‘Camilla-sama, Camilla-sama’, and made her feel important. And then he took advantage of her lonely heart to progressively worsen her chuunibyou!

I-, It’s definitely possible…

If you think about it like this, even if he’s a dangerous jiisan who’ll attack somebody who looks like a girl, from Timu’s point of view, he might seem like a knight who’s protecting her from the enemy.

Damn it! It seems that Timu’s chuunibyou is an even more advanced case than I had predicted.

Ah~ Thinking about it like that, this jiisan really pisses me off, huh. When all’s said and done, he’s the culprit behind pulling Timu onto the path of misfortune(chuunibyou). And moreover, I’m getting really sick of being punched by this guy. Even though the jiisan’s breathing has gotten rough, he’s continuing to hit me even now. Even though I’m getting hit, I wasn’t really sure about getting violent with a complete stranger, but I’ve had enough.

“You-, cut it out already! You damned chuuni bastard!”

I grabbed the hand that was hitting me, and thrust him back. Being shoved by me, he lost his balance. Jiisan’s body is completely open now.

My chance!

I dashed forward towards the jiisan’s stomach and drove my fist in.

“Punishment! Punishment! Punishment!”

Like a boxer, I throw straights at Jiisan’s face, jaw, and solar plexus; all clean hits.

“Guha-, gahu-, gohah-! Hahh, hahhh――――w-, what terrifying speed and weight those punches have… I-, I’ll die.”

After suffering my fists, Jiisan slumped to the floor on the spot.

Even the words he gave when collapsing stank of chuuni.

“I’ll die” he says…

As if they had that much power!

But well, it was probably unexpected for this jiisan too. He probably didn’t think it was possible that he’d lose to a young girl like me, after all. But life doesn’t always go as you plan. Even if I look like this, I’m a cook; my muscled are trained from always shaking up the pan. If it’s somebody like a powerless NEET jiisan, I can take him down with ease.

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tl: 初老ニート (middle aged (or above) NEET) is a set phrase in Japan. The meaning is as you can see. That’s why I put it as an abbreviation to make it look like a ‘set phrase’ that everybody uses.

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