Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!

Join the Evil God Army on discord!
https://discord.gg/0uufyDAsTZXQaMz1

---

Four days later I was suddenly rushed by Gaudy Piercings, right as I returned to cram school for the first time in a while.

“Kisshouin-saan! I’m so sorry!”

Uwah!? What’s with this guy!?

It creeped me out so I had taken a step back in reflex, but the guy didn’t mind and continued to rant.

“Since that happened, you haven’t been coming to cram school at all! I’ve been feeling so bad about it. I’m really sorry!”

Can somebody tell me what this guy is on about?

Then, who knows why, but he suddenly slumped in depression all on his own.

“You rushed out of the classroom right after, and you only came back when lunch ended. I was so worried that you were off crying somewhere.”

…Hmm? Oh! That time with the chakinzuchi!?
That’s right! I forget not the enmity you sowed on that day, scoundrel!

“And then you stopped coming as well. Was it because you didn’t wanna see me? Have you been crying at home every day?”

Oh yeah. Come to think of it, the day after the chakinzushi incident I skipped cram school to do that fasting course, didn’t I. Wow, it feels like so long ago. Aah, that course was hell~
Thanks to that though, apparently Gaudy Piercings came up with the idea that my feelings had been hurt, and had been arbitrarily wallowing in guilt for the last three days. My condolences.
I’m not going to tell him though. He stole my precious chakinzushi, so this is his punishment. Kekeke!
The enmity sowed due to food is a terrifying thing.

“I never thought you’d be hit with so much shock. I should have realised though. You’re a real ojousama. You’re more delicate than guys like us. You even look like you’ve lost weight over it.”

Eh!? What was that!? Did he just say what I thought he did? Did he just say I look like I’d lost weight!?
…Gaudy Piercings, I’ll make an exception just this once!

“Please do not trouble yourself over it. I was simply feeling under the weather, and had been resting at home,” I smiled as I forgave him. Just this once I’d let go of the grudge. It could disappear along with the fat I’d lost.

“Really!? Thank goodness! If you’re still feeling bad, then don’t overdo it, okay? Come on, sit down.”

Originally I had planned on sitting away from them, but before I knew it he had brought me over to his group. Ununu, what a crafty one.

“‘ been a while, Kisshouin-saan. Soorry about this idiot.”

“He’s such a jerk for stealing your food like that.”

“Ojousama suuure are delicate~ After all, Kisshouin-san stayed at home just for something like that.”

Bobcut was really casually being caustic.

“Kisshouin-san said she was ill. Hey, if you don’t feel well then you have to speak up, okay?”

“Thank you for your concern.”

Gaudy Piercings was oddly gentlemanly. I guess it’s because he came up with this image of me being some dainty, sheltered rich girl. Naive. While Gaudy Piercings was feeling guilty, I was living it up in a high class Chinese restaurant, stealing shark fin soup from Otousama.

But he said I’d lost weight… My last checkup said that I’d lost two kilos, certainly, but I knew the weight would return the moment I started eating again.

I decided that I would put in the effort to keep my midriff like this though.

Gaudy Piercings, thank you for the motivation.

Also, Gaudy Piercings, what was your real name again?

*

Break time came, and Gaudy Piercings’ group went out for lunch. As usual I had my bentou. After having a relaxing lunch, I had a skim through my textbook. I had already planned to have Marin-sensei help me catch up, but it wouldn’t hurt to try a bit on my own.
Coming back from his own lunch, Gaudy Piercings passed me a bag from a coffee shop. Confused, I looked inside and found a proscuitto and vegetable panino.

“This is for last time. I’m not sure if food like this would taste good to an ojousama like you, but if you’re okay with it then please take it.”

Ehhh!? Thank you! I love this stuff! What the heck! You’re actually a pretty good guy, Gaudy Piercings.

“Thank you. I will definitely enjoy it later,” I smiled brightly.

Smiles are cheap for people who give me panini. Gaudy Piercings seemed happy as well.

“Umewaka~ Lend me your electronic dictionary~” called Bobcut.

Oh, that’s right. Umewaka. Thanks for reminding me, Bobcut.
Umewaka-kun, who gave me a panino, went to give Bobcut his e-dictionary, and then happily played around with his phone.

*

Since that day, I started talking to Umewaka-kun a little more. He was oddly overprotective. Like, he’d ask if my bag was too heavy, or mention that it was hot today and ask me if I was okay.
And each and every time, Bobcut’s eyes would be lit up in jealousy. She was really easy to read. Sometimes she’d drop in a comment like,

“It must be nice, being a pampered ojousama~”

Really, really easy to read.

Umewaka-kun’s group of friends was made up of three guys and two girls. The other girl was the one who sat next to me on the first day, and it seemed like she was close with the brown-haired guy. Thanks to that, she didn’t seem to mind me as much as Bobcut did.

One day Bobcut caught me in the bathroom.

“You’re really girly, Kisshouin-san. Me, I’m more frank and chill, and kind of like a guy, so all the boys treat me like one.”

“I see.”

It’s also common-sense to girls that on the inside, the self-proclaimed frank, chill, and kind-of-like-a-guy women are actually the most frighteningly jealous women of all.
It was honestly a bother, so I just left.

*

Umewaka-kun continued to worry about me, telling me to be careful about the heat, or asking if it was hard keeping my hair tidy.
Once I was curious enough to ask him why he bothered with me so much. His eyes lit up and he said to me,

“Because my beloved Beatrice is just like you, Kisshouin-san!”

So I asked him who Beatrice was, and he pulled out his phone to show me.

It was a dog.

“See? Isn’t she cute? She’s an American Cocker Spaniel and she’s got the roundest, cutest eyes. And your hair is just like my Beatrice’s, Kisshouin-san. The first time I saw you from behind, I thought, oh my god! It’s my Beatrice! My Bea-tan is such an angel.”

Umewaka-kun’s beloved dog was one of the types with wavy long hair, and she was wearing a ribbon on her head too.
After that, even though I never asked for it, Umewaka-kun started showing me pictures of his adorable Bea-tan, one after another. Bea-tan running happily. Bea-tan rolling on the floor. Bea-tan asleep. One after another, he continued animatedly showing them off to me.
Umewaka-kun was a hardcore dog lover.

“Beatrice’s hair is really long and it’s so hard to get the kinks out. I make sure to brush her hair everyday, too. How do you take care of your hair, Kisshouin-san? It’s really hard maintaining Bea-tan’s sausage curls.”

The former Umewaka-kun, now revised to Dog Lover-kun, apparently wanted my advice on long hair.
Dog Lover-kun, I might look like this but I’m still technically a human.

“…You truly love dogs, Umewaka-kun.”

“Yeah. Oh, look at this!” he said as he pointed proudly to his earring.

Looking carefully, it was a silver earring of a dog paw.

He was an honest-to-god dog lover.

“This is my favourite one, but I’ve also got a bone earring too. Wanna see? I’ll show you next time, okay?”

He was an honest-to-god, maniac dog lover.

“I might not be a dog, but perhaps it would help to know that I use a brush that a salon recommended me. The teeth are very fine to avoid tangles.”

“Oh, my Bea-tan has an exclusive brush too.”

“I might not be a dog, but perhaps it would help to know that I visit a salon at least once a month for hair treatment.”

“My Bea-tan also gets a trimming once a month!”

…Really, can you just give up on this comparison already, Dog Lover-kun?

“Also American Cocker Spaniels get fat really easily, so I have to take care about her food and exercise.”

We’re the same species!

*

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I arrived home to find an invitation to tea, from Madam Kaburagi.

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<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!

Join the Evil God Army on discord!
https://discord.gg/0uufyDAsTZXQaMz1

---

I was led to a twin bedroom suite filled with amenities. I wouldn’t have expected less from a hotel owned by the Kaburagi group.
Unfortunately the fridge had nothing except water and ice thanks to the nature of our visit. It really hit me that I wasn’t going to be eating for a while.
I decided to relax on the sofa for a bit with herbal tea. We were going to meet up with the others later for a walk in the park.

“Say, Okaasama, would Otousama not have been a better choice to bring to a fasting? I do believe that he needs it the most in our family.”

“Your father has work. And fasting would not make him skinnier.”

Ruthless.

“More importantly, it seems that Kaburagi-sama is very fond of you, Reika-san,” she commented happily.

…I suppose it might have seemed that way to others.

“As expected of my daughter! You are so terribly cute after all. Of course she thought you were a match for Masaya-san!”

Whoa, whoa, stop that, Okaasama. You just made a leap across the Grand Canyon of logic.

After spending some time getting Okaasama back under control, we went and met up with the others.
The staff led us on a stroll through the huge garden, and the older ladies were apparently still talking about what happened earlier.

“Even Kaburagi-sama approves of Reika-san. Your daughter certainly has a different kind of quality to her.”

“My, ohoho! Ladies, please don’t flatter her so.”

Okaasama sounds arrogant even when she’s turning down praise. I could tell she was in a fantastic mood. As the women continued to pay my mother lip service, suddenly, I remembered that there was one other person here my age. I started feeling a bit bad for Akimi-san.

After that we all headed to the same room and had drinks for dinner. I was still completely hungry… Couldn’t we have at least had seconds? I wasn’t looking forward to repeating that on the next two days.

Next on the itinerary was a massage as the beauty salon. It was actually kind of focused on my midsection. A stomach massage? Uhyahyahyahyahya! It tickles! Gueh!

I woke up the next morning with a sad-looking stomach. Breakfast was in drinkable form again. I want to eat something solid…

There was a pool and gym available for us to use, but I could muster up the energy for a walk at best. How do you expect people to move without food…

As for Okaasama, after our lunchtime drinks she immediately headed back to our room to sleep. I guess she was basically giving up. In her place I went with the madams to do some yoga.

It was easy yoga; simple poses designed around a class to help us relax. I was so hungry though that my stomach kept making embarrassing gurgling sounds.

The housewives around me were happily chatting away. They sure had energy~ Where on earth were they getting that stamina from.

Actually they were so energetic that they started asking me questions like,

“Reika-san, do you have anybody you like?”

“Masaya-san from the Kaburagi family is in your school year, isn’t he?”

“What about Shuusuke-san from the Enjou family?”

“Has your Oniisama decided on a lady yet?”

They sure loved gossipping about the lovelives of the young…

Dinner was in drinkable form yet again. I was sick of this…

Sure, they changed the flavours each time but still…

Okaasama was whining on the phone to Otousama.

*

Since it was night time I had time to study from a textbook, but my empty stomach had completely removed the will to do a thing.

I decided to go for a walk to help my mood. Just as I stepped out, I came across Akimi-san.

…Oh, that’s…

Hidden behind her back was a bag from the hotel patisserie.

Awkward…

Just as I had decided to pretend that I didn’t see anything, Akimi-san hesitantly brought it forward.

“The drinks just wouldn’t fill me up…” she said with a self-depreciating smile.

“Yes, I understand. I certainly feel famished,” I smiled politely in return.

Ah, come on now. Don’t look like that. It’s not like we’re hospitalised or anything, so if you want to eat, just eat.

“Reika-san, could we chat a little?”

The two of us went for a walk in the garden.

The lighting had made it incredibly beautiful. The two of us made our way over to one of the benches and sat down.

“After meeting you, Reika-san, I’ve been thinking… I really am a cowardly waste of space, aren’t I.”

“Eh?! Not at all!”

On the contrary, I don’t think you’ll ever meet a bigger coward than me. The Japanese have a saying, you know? ‘A Three-Day Priest’; basically somebody who gives up at the drop of the hat. If I didn’t know any better I’d say they created that phrase just for me.

“The more they tell me that I can’t eat, the more and more I want to.”

“…I understand how you feel,” I nodded vigorously.

Why does my stomach always growl the moment I decide to diet?

“I’ve been fat since I was little. I’ve tried losing weight a few times, but I always give up… The name Akimi(refulgent beauty) is wasted on me.”

Whoa, whoa, you think the name Reika(resplendent flower) fits me any better? It means that I’m supposedly as lovely as a flower, you know? So lovely that all I do is eat all day, a lay-about tanuki pup who even got mistaken for a pregnant woman once.
So there’s really no need for you to smile so sadly with your bag of pastries, okay?

“It must be nice being you, Reika-san. You’re so beautiful. I often hear rumours about Takateru-sama taking his younger sister out. He must be so proud of you. I’m envious.”

“Umm, I am not quite sure what you mean…”

“…I have an older brother too. But he hates me because I’m fat and ugly, no doubt. Not once has he invited me anywhere.”

Uhhh, yeaah, I think that’s less Oniisama bringing me out, and more me tagging along, but…?

“Even Kaburagi-sama has her eye on you. You’re really so amazing, Reika-san. Your father, Chairman Kisshouin, brags about you everywhere too, you know? Gosh, it’s amazing how proud of you he is.”

What the heck are you doing, damned tanuki! Just wait ’til I get home!

“My father is too doting with me. Goodness, this is embarrassing. I must warn him the next time I see him. And I will have you know that I am simply fat in places that others cannot see. My midsection for instance. Something that I seem to have inherited from my father, unfortunately. My stomach is a veritable marshmallow at the moment.”

“A veritable marshmallow? Goodness, you do say hilarious things,” she laughed with a kind smile. She was definitely on the chubby side, but that just made her cuter and more relaxing to be around. Really, there wasn’t any reason for her to look down on herself so much. I suppose she kind of reminded me of Hanachirusato from the Tale of Genji?

I decided on cheering her up. That’s why I started telling her all kinds of stories where I was the butt of the joke. Stuff like,

“Actually, once while wearing my school uniform the hook on my skirt popped when I sat down,”

or “So the moment I put it on in the changing room I heard a rip, so I bought it and never wore it again,”

or “This one day I ate a whole cake by myself and was bedridden from the stomach ache.”

Akimi-san listened to me as she laughed, but I had an inkling that she thought I was just exaggerating.

Naive.

Far from exaggerating, these stories were just the tip of the iceberg.

Unfortunately I still had plenty of embarrassing stories like “that time I was swinging from a rope and nearly stacked it,” or “that one time I crashed into the class rubbish bin,” and other such unmentionable tales.

Still, it looked like it worked a little. Akimi-san offered me a butter cookie in the shape of a leaf from her bag.

Butter cookie! I wanna eat! But I’m fasting right now! Why must you tempt me so!

Sensing my inner turmoil, Akimi-san smiled and told me,

“You know, it isn’t just me that’s sneaking out at night to eat, you know? Pretty much every single participant has been doing the same thing.”

“Ehhhh!?”

“I think it might only be your mother and you that’s actually fasting properly. The hotel staff keep quiet even if they see you. If they didn’t, how would I have bought these?”

Okaasamaaaa, we’ve been deceiveeed!
I’d wondered how everyone else was so energetic.

“…And here I was, so hungry that all I could think about was food…”

“Huhu, then shall we eat?”

“No, I think I shall hold on for a little longer. It would feel somewhat frustrating otherwise.”

“I suppose it would for you, Reika-san. Do your best.”

Since the air was beginning to get a bit chilly, the two of us decided to return to our rooms. Just to keep appearances up, I lent her my scarf to hide the bag of pastries with. She thanked me with a smile.

Do you think we’ve gotten a little closer?

Our final meal consisted of rice congee. Haaah~ Yummy…

Next to me, Okaasama seemed to be in total bliss. I get how you feel. I really do.

“The fasting course is now complete,” announced the staff.

And with that, we all prepared to leave.

Time to go home. Please let me go home.

The two of us went through our goodbyes before climbing into the awaiting car. Akimi-san even waved me goodbye as I left.

*

I’m hoooome~!

Otousama and Oniisama were waiting with warm food prepared.
Obviously due to her weakened spirit, Okaasama was overcome with emotion and clung to Otousama in an embrace. Truly the Beauty and the Tanuki.
I tried the same thing with Oniisama as well, but when I did it he dodged. Why!

---

<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!

Join the Evil God Army on discord!
https://discord.gg/0uufyDAsTZXQaMz1

---

A ryoutei (料亭) is a type of luxurious traditional Japanese restaurant. Often used in important dinners or high-class banquets for important business meetings, or in low-key meetings between VIPs, celebrities or statesmen, traditionally ryoutei only accept new customers by referral.

Also a reminder that “Japanese food” in America is not necessarily actual Japanese cuisine. In the same way, “Chinese food” in America isn’t necessarily actual Chinese cuisine either, nor is “Chinese food” in Japan.

---

Ever since that first day, Gaudy Piercings continued to sit near me. Apparently his real name was Umewaka. “Gaudy Piercings” is enough for the likes of him.

“Hey, hey, Kisshouin-san! Say, you guys at Zui’ran are all like, ‘Gokigen’yoh’ right? Say it to me too! ‘Gokigen’yoh’~”

Annoying.
Starting the next day I made sure to bring questions and textbooks to read during the breaks. Hopefully if I looked busy enough he wouldn’t talk to me.
Sure, my secondary goal in coming here was to make some friends but it definitely wasn’t going to be those guys.
I continued to concentrate on my questions.

“Woooow. You’re so serious about studying, Kisshouin-san. Oh, you got that one wrong.”

Tsk!

Soon enough it was lunch. The cram school had one after each morning lecture. Almost all of the students went out to buy something to eat. Apparently Gaudy Piercings and his buddies were going outside as well.
I had my own lunch though, prepared by a chef hired by my family.

“Whooooaaa! Kisshouin-san, did your bentou come from a ryoutei or something!?”

…I should have waited for them to leave before opening this. Today’s lunch was a well-balanced square bentou.

“Looks yuuum! Lemme have one?”

Hey cretin, do you really think I would? Let me tell you now that I’m stingy when it comes to food. Especially today. I actually wanted a little bit more than this but because of the diet thing I tried to cut down. You really think there’s enough for you as well?

“Umewaka~ It’s time for us to gooo!” pressed the girl with the short hair.

You hear that? It’s time for you to go.

“Ohh! Bye then, Kisshouin-san!”

Yes, yes, go, go. And don’t come back, either.

I immediately got started on enjoying my tiny, but delicious lunch. The boiled fish was delicious.

It went perfectly with my chilled gyokuro tea.

Anyhow, once the break was over, it was back to concentrating on my studies.

My days at cram school were pretty much a repeat of that.

Until one day, disaster struck.

That Gaudy Piercings stole one of my chakinzushi!

“Whoooooooooooooa! This is suuuuper good! Kisshouin-san, don’t tell me your family actually owns a ryoutei!?”

Chakinzushi… Fresh ingredients mixed with vinegared rice, wrapped in a delicate layer of egg… and something that I only had two of… My chakinzushi…

“Mm? How come you’ve gone all still, Kisshouin-san? Did that maybe give you a shock? Don’t worry, I’ll treat you to lunch as an apology so come eat with us?”

I silently packed my things away, left my chair, and then left the classroom to make a call. My favourite man was busy right now, so I dialled my doormat backup.

“Take me to some good food right now!”

I jumped into a taxi and sped to my destination. Waiting excitedly for me at the company headquarters was my doormat tanuki.

“It makes me really happy that you’ve come to visit me. Come in, sit down!”

“Otousama, I only have an hour and a half. Let us hurry up and go somewhere!” I replied before dragging him by the arm.

“Ooh! Got it!”

After getting some quick directions from the secretary, we were exiting into the hallway when I bumped into my real man instead.

“Oh, Reika. Why are you here?” asked Oniisama.

“It seems Reika here wanted to have lunch with me. She came all the way here,” my father replied smugly.

I notice that he particularly emphasised “with me”.

Unfortunately for you, Otousama, you’re just a man of convenience. A foody call, if you will.

Regardless, Oniisama saw us out with a smile. But the whole time that doormat tanuki kept emphasising to all the employees we passed that I was a massive fathercon and saying, “My daughter just wouldn’t stop asking me to go out with her somewhere so I’ll be back after lunch.”

It felt a bit like a public execution. Damn tanuki.

Anyhow, Otousama took me to a high-class Chinese restaurant close by. It was multi-storied, had a nice view, and had private rooms as well, so you could eat in peace. Thanks to that it was popular.
I’m impressed that we even managed to get a reservation on such short notice. Impressed by Otousama’s secretary, that is.

“Don’t wait up, Reika. Eat as much as you want.”

So first I started with my favourites.

Chilli-fried prawns,

shark-fin soup,

and scorched-rice with seafood.

Otousama had whole-boiled shark fin and Shanghai Mitten Crab fried rice.

Pretty extravagant for just a lunch, Otousama.

In the end we ordered some sides like dim sum as well, and it all became a little too much in terms of volume.
Today was special though. After all, tomorrow I was stuck fasting with Okaasama. It felt like I was having my last meal.

“How’s cram school, Reika?”

“I am giving my all.”

And I had better hurry up and finish this all before my lessons began again.
Speaking of which, I wonder if Otousama leaving so suddenly was a problem. It was worrying to think about. Then again, everybody we passed looked like super-elite professionals, so.

“Are you doing your job properly, Otousama?”

“What are you saying, Reika. Of course I am. Right, Sasajima?”

Incidentally, his secretary Sasajima-san was sitting at the table with us. At first they tried to decline because it was just lunch between father and daughter, but we ordered so much and I had to go soon too, so I asked them to help eat as a favour.

“Yes. The President is extremely busy each day.”

Well of course you’d say that, you’re his secretary. And also I note that “extremely busy” doesn’t necessarily mean “actually getting work done”.

“I hear that you have been training my brother since his days in school?”

“Yes. Takateru-san is truly outstanding. He is presently working with the sales department as well.”

I see. Oniisama did look busy. I wonder if he’s making sure to take lunch breaks.
We continued to talk about Oniisama for a while so Otousama began to sulk a bit. Wow, your immaturity is showing, Otousama.

Now stuffed with food, I thanked Sasajima-san for keeping the time for us and then left my seat. Otousama wanted me to stay a bit longer but I was going to run late for class at this rate.
Speaking of which, shouldn’t he be hurrying back to the company?
Farewell, Otousama! Even if you try to lure me with dessert it won’t work!

I just barely made it back in time for class so all the seats were pretty much taken. I ended up on one of the last chairs in the corner. Which happened to be far away from Gaudy Piercing & co. so I wasn’t unhappy about it. My stomach was unhappy though. I had to use my bag and scarf to hide my tummy from view.

*

The next day was fasting with Okaasama.
I imagined that we would be training on some dojo deep in the mountains or something but she brought me to a first-class hotel instead.
Apparently we were going to spend the next two days getting into jacuzzis, going to beauty salons, and taking walks in the hotel’s famed garden. “Fasting in style” in other words.

The other people were pretty much all Okaasama’s acquaintances; married women from the upper class. According to her she couldn’t turn down the invitation so she dragged me with her instead. Well yeah, I mean, Okaasama was completely skinny so I don’t suppose she would need to fast.
To think that maintaining a social life would even call on you to fast. Terrible.

After getting a private medical check, the hotel staff explained our itinerary to us. Apparently the hotel would provide water, tea, and rice congee, but we were free to eat out, and they had a pool and gym too.

The women all immediately chose to go to the beauty salon. I ended up going with them as Okaasama’s extra. One rotund older woman brought along a round ojousama. Her name was Narutomi Akimi, and she was 20. We were the only two young participants. Madam Narutomi said that she really hoped we would get along when she introduced us. Akimi-san kind of hid behind her mother with her head hanging.
Wow, kind of shy for somebody older than me. Come on, I won’t bite~

At that moment, Madam Kaburagi gallantly strode in. It was like the whole room started sparkling with her entrance.
That’s right. Apparently this hotel was owned by the Kaburagi group. Apparently she heard that we were participating so she came here to say hello.

Of all things, a Kaburagi hotel…

That was my first thought.

But then I realised that just by being here it was like broadcasting that I was in need of a diet…

Kaburagi couldn’t know. And I didn’t want that dandy Kaburagi Papa to know either.
I guess this is what you call a maiden’s heart.

After Mrs. Kaburagi finished her greetings she spotted me hiding away, so she walked over with a smile.

“Reika-san, I’m glad you’ve come! It’s going to be a difficult two days, but hang in there! I’m cheering for you.”

“Yes, thank you very much…”

Embarrassing. So embarrassing. It was like admitting that I was fat. I’m still in the skinny zone for BMI measurements, okay!
Also after she mentioned cheering for me all the other madams started paying more attention to me. I endured with a forced smile.

After that, Mrs. Kaburagi flashed everybody one last smile before leaving like the wind.

*

I suppose it’s time to check out our accommodations.

---

Even if you try to lure me with dessert it won’t work!

Incidentally it was a type of almond jelly called annin tofu.

---

<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!

Join the Evil God Army on discord!
https://discord.gg/0uufyDAsTZXQaMz1

---

The joke is that it took me over a month to release this because I finished it two weeks ago but then went to sleep and forgot I ever did it! HA HA HA!

Are you guys laughing too?

---

---

The results for the finals were out. Naturally my name was nowhere to be seen.
The top-three were the same as ever. Kaburagi, Enjou, and Wakaba-chan in that order. Wakaba-chan really is such a smart cookie. You’re amazing, Wakaba-chan~ This is going to make some people really unhappy though…
Oh! And Fellow Stalking-Horse dropped to 7th! Are you being a little careless about your studies, my comrade?! I’m not that smart so it’s up to you to drag up the Stalking Horses, okay? You’re the hope of our village. As candidate for next village head, you need to make us proud.
Anyhow, I ended up at rank 86. Uguh, it’s so bad that I can’t even talk about it! At this rate I might actually end up in the triple digits. Better take the summer studies seriously. Studying, dieting, spiritual training… This summer is going to be busy.

“Hey,” Kikuno suddenly said. “How about we all go somewhere together this summer?”

Ehhhh! An outing with friends! That sounds wonderful!

“Do you think we’ll be able to book anything in time?”

“My, what if you simply came to my family’s villa?”

The girls began kicking up an excited fuss.
Since we basically all have villas, they started discussing which one we were going to use. I’d better ask my family as well.
I mean, I’m assuming that I’m included of course. I am, right? Right? I mean, I’ve got a villa too, so let me into the conversation?

***

On the last Sunday before the summer break officially began, Sakura-chan and I went to do that Zazen meditation I mentioned.
First the Zen Master taught us how to sit and meditate properly, and then had us enter the temple. I was happy to find that it was cool inside. I don’t think I would have been able to meditate if it was humid.
I couldn’t manage the full lotus position so I sat down in the half-lotus instead, and half-closed my eyes. Focus. Control your breathing. Control your heart.
I mean the breathing part is fine and all but controlling my mind~? Weird thoughts kinda keep popping up.
Or so I thought, but with the room so quiet my mind started to calm down. My heart quieted down, and my eyes began to close.
Ah-, Zen Master-san suddenly stood behind me. Could he tell I was falling asleep? I leant to the left so that he could tap my shoulder with his stick. It hurt less than I’d expected. Was he holding back because I was a frail girl? But thanks to that I was getting sleepy again…

-smack-

By the end of it I was so drowsy that my body was swaying all over the place. I can’t even remember if he hit me again.

After a thirty minute session of that, we had some tea and then the Zen Master gave us a sermon. Then it was onto rewriting sutras. Wow, I thought it was just going to be the meditation.
I placed the paper on top of the original and then began to trace it. Oh. This was easier than I thought. I used to do the same thing for writing practice as a child.
Turns out it wasn’t that easy. Zen Master-san told us that by tracing this our hearts would be revealed. I looked at Sakura-chan’s perfect kanji, and then looked at some of the weird squiggles on mine. I’ll bet this one over here happened while I was thinking about the Japanese-style café we’d be going to after. My mind really is filled to the brim with worldly desires, isn’t it.
After submitting our copies to the temple, our day at the temple was brought to a close.

“Reika. You didn’t learn a thing, did you,” said Sakura-chan, the very moment we reached the café. Oh. I had originally planned to reflect during the training, hadn’t I.

“Seriously, because of all the smacking sounds coming from the side I could barely concentrate myself. And I swear you started rocking back and forth near the end too…”

“That was a test of your heart and spirit, Sakura-chan. If something so little can sway you from the Path then I don’t know what to say to you.”

“…He should have smacked you with a real cane instead.”

I was just reciting what the Zen Master had said. And a real cane would have actually hurt.

“And today was so easy because I deliberately chose a mellow place for you, okay. Had we gone to one of the hardcore places you’d be tenderised steak right now.”

“Ehh~ But you got hit too.”

“I asked him to.”

Wow, you’re amazing.

“Well? Did you reflect at all…?”

She sighed as I stared at the sweets menu.

“Guess not, huh.”

You’re wrong. I was just looking, that’s all. I wasn’t planning on eating at all, I swear.

“Ahh~ Nirvana isn’t such an easy place to get into, you know~”

“I hope you fall onto the path of the chubster.”

Stop that. Don’t you remember what Mr. Zen Master said? Words have power so you shouldn’t say cruel things to others, remember? How are you going to take responsibility if I really turn into a fatty?

“Look, you really need to start exercising, Reika. How about that hot yoga stuff, or maybe aerial yoga?”

“You sure do love yoga, Sakura-chan.”

I’ve been doing my best with sit-ups and hula hoops, and I can just do yoga at home. If I’m going to go out of my way then maybe some other sport would be better.
Anyhow, I somehow managed to restrain myself from ordering one of the Japanese-styled sweets and forced myself to settle with a cold matcha drink instead.
When I don’t eat my tummy shrinks. But it swells again the moment I do. Geez, this is why it’s so easy to get careless~ It feels like I’ll lose weight as soon as I start eating less.
But I was determined to stick to my guns this time. That time with the pregnancy misunderstanding was a huge shock. I was actually still pretty depressed about it.
I sealed away the dress from that day too. It had to be part of the problem.
And when I sit down my flab comes out, so I was sitting with my stomach clenched at all times.

“Say, Sakura-chan? Do I look too old?”

“Huh? No? Your face has been getting rounder these days so if anything you look awfully young. Don’t worry about it.”

So my face has been getting rounder…

***

Today was the first day of my summer cram school.
And wow, was this on a different scale to my middle school one.
We were allowed to sit wherever so I picked a middle seat, a bit further back than average.
I wonder if there are any Zui’ran kids. Hmmm. Everybody looks so smart.

While I was looking around, a group of boys and girls took the seats next to me. They all seemed to be friends. Whoaa… What is this feeling unbelievable sense of isolation.
The bag of the boy next to me steadily encroached on my territory. But he had his back to me and was completely focused on the conversation with his friends. Why am I feeling so ignored.
Oh no. The trauma from my remedials…
Just as I was moping, the boy suddenly laughed like crazy and smacked me with his hand. Ow…

“Ah, soz.”

“…It is fine.”

More importantly, I’d appreciate it if you noticed your bag as well.

“Whoa! This chick is like a total rich girl ojousama!”

“And her hair is done up so neatly~”

Urgh.

“Hey, hey, what school you go to?” asked the boy behind me.

And he had a bunch of earrings too. So gaudy.

“…I attend Zui’ran.”

“Whooooooooa! Suiraaan! Total rich girlll!”

I don’t know what was so interesting about it but they all seemed really intrigued.
And although the girls had smiles on their faces, I could see them secretly appraising me. Scary…

“Hey, so what’s your name?”

“…My name is Kisshouin Reika.”

“Even your name sounds rich! Dooope!”

…What the hell.
…I picked completely the wrong seat.
No, I picked completely the wrong cram school.
This has got to be the first time I’ve ever been treated so carelessly in all my time as Kisshouin Reika.
This has got to be the worst treatment I’ve had short of that pregnancy incident. I have complete confidence that if I drew a fortune right now it would say “Huge Curse”.

“C’mon, cut that out. You’re troubling the poor girl. The ojousama of Zui’ran are just totally different from us, you know?” said one of the guys next to Gaudy Piercings.

The girls started staying stuff like “Yeah, guys~ Cut it out~” as well.

Hmph! As if anybody thinks you mean it!

I played up my indifference and began looking through my coursework. It was time to make use of the mindset I cultivated at the temple!
But despite my best efforts, the idiot behind me wouldn’t stop pulling and playing with my hair! My hair of all things! Had we been born an era earlier I’d imprison you in the goddamned Bastille for that!
And who the heck pulls on a girl’s hair! Are you actually a high schooler? Are you actually?
The final straw was the fact that when class actually started all of the idiots around me turned out to be way smarter than I was.

***

That’s it. The moment I get home I’m performing a salt-exorcism on all four sides of my room.

---

<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!

Join the Evil God Army on discord!
https://discord.gg/0uufyDAsTZXQaMz1

---

With Marin-sensei’s help, I managed to get past a term-end exam. I don’t think I did well, though. That’s why I decided I would enroll for summer cram school.
I guess I’m too weak-willed for self study. There’s just too much temptation lying around the house. Each time there was some problem I couldn’t solve I found myself needle felting, or rearranging my room, or something else.
I’ve decided that if I like the cram school I’ll continue doing it in Term 2 as well. So please, anything but the remedials again…

*

The day of the last exam. It finished in the morning so I went home and got changed. Today I had somewhere to be.
The post office. I wanted to deposit some money, and to buy some postage stamps.
It’s actually a small hobby of mine, stamp collecting. It’s fun keeping some of the cute ones. I don’t have anybody to send letters to, though.
I particularly like some of the anime ones, or the ones with cute figures on them. I have some robot anime ones, and some with characters from picture books.
There was also this Rococo Queen one. Naturally I bought some. I think you’re meant to use multiple stamps or something so I bought extras just in case. Not that I have anywhere to send anything right now.
I was a little embarrassed because I was worried somebody would think I was cosplaying her, but I liked these the most so I’m glad I found the courage.
I hope I’ll get to use them though. Aoi-chan would probably accept it with a smile. Maybe I’ll send her something then~

I was wearing something more casual than most of my other outfits, a feminine dress with a ribbon below the chest. There was somewhere else I wanted to go today, so it wouldn’t do to look too much like an ojousama.
Before going to the post office, I was going to have lunch at a soba restaurant, so I chose something less eyecatching.
Geez, I’m so hungry. What should I have~

*

The soba place was in a mall building. Looking at the menu I found myself at a loss. Sansai vegetable soba would be good, but then chilled soba sounded appetising too. Aah, but it has to be tempura soba in the end!

It came with two prawns, and was delicious. I’m glad I picked this. It had plenty of spring onion too, which is good for the blood, right?
Actually it was so delicious that I ended up draining the broth dry. Mn, so satisfied!

*

After relaxing a bit, I headed to the post office, a large one nearby.
The counter was packed with people so I got a ticket and went to browse the stamps.
These animal stamps are pretty nice, but I like these traditional art-themed ones too~ Maybe I’ll get a few of these Japanese Waka poem stamps.
In the end I found some cute animal ones so I decided to buy those this time. I made up my mind to come again someday.
Happily making my way back to counter, I discovered that there was still quite a while until it was my turn. It was packed so there probably wasn’t anywhere to sit either.
Ah well. I’m still young so a bit of standing won’t kill me.
Just as I was thinking that, some salaryman gave me his seat.
What a gentleman! I guess even Japan has learnt the ‘ladies first’ custom. Thank you, nameless salaryman.
I thanked him with a smile and took a seat.
It’s funny how small acts of kindness can really pick up your mood.
Not that I wasn’t still feeling a bit ill from all the tempura soba I ate. I mean, I drank all the broth too.
As I rubbed my tummy unconsciously, the lady next to me asked,

“How many months?”

Months? What months?

“?”

“You look around 5 months, I’d guess? I hope you give birth to a healthy child.”

“…”

… … … …Eh?

Don’t tell me… Don’t tell me I’ve been mistaken for a pregnant woman!?
Why!? Because I rubbed my tummy!?
I’m not! It’s just because my stomach is full!

“…I’m… not pregnant…”

“Eh?”

“There’s no baby in there…”

I tensed my muscles and pulled in my stomach as far as possible. Which wasn’t far, mind.

“Oh, oh goodness, I’m sorry,” she said, looking incredibly awkward as she found somewhere else to sit.

Gasp! Don’t tell me!
I turned around and the salaryman from earlier averted his gaze.
You too!?
So he gave me my seat because he thought I was pregnant!?

Holy hell…
Apparently I became pregnant without realising. I’ll bet some archangel will descend to announce my pregnancy at any moment now. Son of the God of the Fat Country, please hurry up and be born. If not I’ll be stuck with this belly forever.

…Haha. I really need to stop escaping reality. I was just getting fat.
And there was one other thing I needed to accept.
Could it be that I’m aging? Do I look old enough to be happily pregnant already?
Not only am I fat, I’m older-looking too?
Wow, these lights are kind of dazzling. So dazzling that my eyes are tearing up…
And it still wasn’t my turn at the counter yet──

After trying not to cry as I made my way home, I shut myself in my room and transformed into a hula-hooping devil.
Then I did sit-ups and crunches too. I noticed that I was less fit now.

Starting from the next day my lunches were going to be basically salad. I told the girls at school,

“The heat has been a bit much so my appetite has been dwindling…”

Although they replied with stuff like “Get better soon,” I’ll bet they all realised…
At the Pivoine I only drank tea. Apparently today’s snack was blueberry tarts but I couldn’t have any!
People keep recommending this or that but I could only reject them with an excuse about my appetite.
Even looking hurt.
While that was happening, Enjou who happened to pass by suddenly smiled and said,

“Do your best,” before leaving.

He noticed too? Don’t say needless things! You’re making me even hungrier.

*

When I texted Sakura-chan my grievances, she suddenly replied,

“Zazen meditation, and waterfall training. Which do you want?”

Apparently she thought I ought to fix my weak will first. Not that she didn’t have a point. I’m honestly one of those people who are harsh on others but easy on myself.
Anyway, that’s why I now had a trip to a zazen session with Sakura-chan planned.
By the way, Sakura-chan, I’ll probably fall asleep if I keep my eyes shut for more than three minutes but is that okay?
Also for some reason Okaasama suggested I go to some fasting camp with her. So there was that planned too.
Apparently my entire summer break was going to be dedicated to training and losing weight.
Is my third eye finally going to open!?

---

<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!

Join the Evil God Army on discord!
https://discord.gg/0uufyDAsTZXQaMz1

---

Have a Merry Christmas!

---

Class Rep passed me in the hallway so I grabbed his arm and dragged him off.

“Eh-, what’s wrong, Kisshouin-san?”

“Class Rep, I cannot imagine that it is true but in addition to your poetry, by any chance have you also dipped your toes into composing love songs?”

“EH!? How did you know!?”

I freaking knew it!
His disease is getting worse by the day. What a tragic discovery.

“I will not speak ill of your hobbies, Class Rep, however I sincerely hope that you are not thinking of singing to the girl in question. Gasp! It cannot be that you intend to do so at the school festival again!?”

“Nono, even I know that would be bad.”

Oh! Has he grown?

“Incidentally, what genre of song is it?”

“…It’s a secret,” he said with a blush.

Damned maiden.

“…I guess girls just find it a bother when somebody suddenly sings a song written for them?”

“I suppose. Not every girl is the same. I suppose the average girl would be shocked before happy.”

“I see…”

Class Rep dropped his head. So he really wants to sing, huh.
Perhaps I should confirm his intentions one more time when the school festival comes. I can’t discount the possibility that he’ll go into a frenzy and sing anyway.

“Instead of singing a strange song that you wrote, you might be better received singing an existing song for her instead.”

“I see.”

“Indeed. A while back, a certain person played a love song on piano. It was wonderful, and the girls were all over it. It shames me to say that even I felt a little something. It was surprising, coming from him. That is the key, Class Rep. Gap moe. Gap moe is everything.”

“Gap moe… I’m surprised you even know the word, Kisshouin-san. But hm, a gap in my image… Would it be surprising if I started playing instruments?”

“The diligent class representative playing a passionate song of love. I suppose it would be quite a gap indeed. Take care to choose the right song, though.”

“Like what? Something that brings to mind the ocean after all? Or would a song on piano be better?”

“The piano might be nice.”

“The problem is when I can play it…”

Suddenly…

“Class Rep, what’s wrong? Are you okay!?”

While the two of us were chatting in secret, Fellow Stalking Horse suddenly rushed out at us.

“Ah, Mizuzaki-kun. Did you need me?”

“No, I was going to ask if anything was wrong. She brought you over here, after all.”

Over here? Uh, we’re just in a normal hallway, but?

“Huh? I was just talking with her.”

“However…”

Stalking Horse seemed really worried for him. He even casually shielded him from me.
Hey, Stalking Horse, am I like some unthinkable fiend in your mind?

“…Umm, I don’t really get it, but I think you might be misunderstanding Kisshouin-san. It’s impossible that she’d do anything bad to me. I mean, she’s my love guru.”

“Love guru?”

“Yeah. Since primary school. She always gives me advice.”

Class Rep started shyly fiddling with his hair. Damned maiden.

“A love guru. For a love guru I’ve heard very little word about you having your own boyfriend.”

Oi, the hell are you saying, Stalking Horse. You picking a fight here? I don’t wanna hear this sass from the damned Vice Chief.
…I mean, I know Stalking Horse is pretty popular with the girls and all, but like, don’t they call me Goddess too?

“More importantly I had no idea there was a girl you liked.”

“EHH! Gosh, Mizusaki-kun, keep it a secret okay?”

The maiden blushed harder.
If Stalking Horse didn’t know then I can only assume that people had slowly forgotten about the poem. Good for you, Maiden. I’ll never forget it though.

“Should I help out then?”

“Eh-, really?”

Class Rep seemed ready to take up Fellow Stalking Horse’s offer so I quickly grabbed his arm.

“You mustn’t, Class Rep!”

“Eh, why?”

Leaving Stalking Horse, I started to whisper in his ear.

“I hear that when a friend offers to help out, it is often the case that the girl will fall in love with said friend instead. Worse yet, Mizusaki-kun is a popular boy. You mustn’t. That way lies danger.”

“That makes sense.”

“One day she might even ask you to help her together with him.”

“Uwah. That’d be the worst. But I can see it happening~”

“Right?”

Discussion concluded.

“I’m grateful that you offered, Mizusaki-kun, but I think I’ll just keep getting help from Kisshouin-san,” he said, with his hand up.

Stalking Horse looked at me with suspicion again.

“You really are just talking about love, right? Class Rep, she’s not threatening you or anything?”

“EH! Of course not!”

Did I do something to Stalking Horse? He seems convinced that I’m a villain.

“Kisshouin-san really does give me good advice. She even told me about this great shrine for matchmaking.”

“…That’s really not much, is it.”

“No, it was plenty. It worked.”

Eh-, worked!?

“Wait, Class Rep, what might you be talking about?”

I was grabbing his arm again.

“You know the school trip? We walked about the park together. It wasn’t just us, of course, but wow, I had fun.”

Oh, the time when I was about to turn into a merlion. Something like that did happen, huh. That’s nice~ Making great memories on your trip. I didn’t have anything like that at all.

“Anyway, the point is that I don’t have any problems with Kisshouin-san so you don’t have anything to worry about, Mizusaki-kun.”

“…I see.”

Why do I have to be doubted like this. I might have to talk to him about this.

“Mizusaki-kun, might I have a word?”

“What?”

I asked Class Rep to give us some room but he looked at me in worry and asked,

“Is everything okay?”

This time it was Stalking Horse’s time to be bewildered.

Hah! See! Class Rep thinks that you’re the dangerous one, not me!
Anyway, the two of us left Class Rep behind but he was still looking worried.

“Say, Mizusaki-kun. Why is it that you seem to have such a bad impression of me? I cannot say I recall doing anything.”

“To me, at least.”

What?

“In our last year in middle school you threatened Tsuruhana, didn’t you. You said that if she disobeyed, you would crush her. And that you had the power to do so. I happened to see it by chance.”

THE TIME WITH THE FOLDING FAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!?!

I knew that somebody might have seen that. And to think it was Fellow Stalking Horse.
I suppose that explains my image then…

“I know she was reaping what she sowed. But I can’t stand people who threaten others with their authority. Not even if it’s how the mighty Pivoine like to do things. I’ll protect the students from you if I have to.”

WHOAAAAA, he’s like totally casting me as the villain here.
But I guess it can’t be helped after seeing that… I can’t even defend myself here.

“…Well, there were certain circumstances involved in that. Still, I understand your point.”

“That all? I’m leaving then.”

“Sure.”

Heaven knows, Earth knows, you know and I know. I keep telling the tanuki that, but to think I’d need hearing it myself. What a terrifying tanuki boomerang.

It’s going to be hard clearing my image, isn’t it~ And to be honest I’m still embarrassed about that fan thing so please forget about it already…

 

---

<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!

Join the Evil God Army on discord!
https://discord.gg/0uufyDAsTZXQaMz1

---

Merry Christmas! One more left.

---

As an apology for confusing the crap out of him, I sent Aoi-chan’s brother some high class protein supplements.
Apparently the girl he liked was named literally just ‘Mari’. I should have checked to begin with. He’s a nice guy so he told me that it wasn’t my fault and not to worry, and Aoi-chan wasn’t angry at me in the slightest so things were settled for now.
Because of the strong opposition from all around him, Aoi-chan’s oniisan stopped with the song writing. He’s still been playing the guitar though. One day Aoi-chan called and told me,

“Oniichan’s started a weird guitar comedy routine…”

Stay strong, Aoi-chan!

fo

Anyhow, life passed by and one day I received an invitation to an opening party for one of the Kaburagi Group’s associate companies.

“I recall declining last time. Otousama, Okaasama, just go by yourselves.”

“Yeah, but last time when I met Chairman Kaburagi we talked, and when I mentioned you he told me to bring you next time.”

Ever since I gave him that tanuki doll he’s been going around talking about me like I’m some sort of fathercon. I first heard about it from somebody in the Pivoine:

“I hear that you get along very well with your father, Reika-sama.”

First I’d heard of it. Boy was that a surprise.

Everybody in the upper class already knows about me as a long-time brocon but recently fathercon has been added to the list too. I find that offensive.
But in the end it’s just Otousama’s boasting. The brocon stuff is all true but the fathercon rumours aren’t really sticking. And for good reason. It’s all baseless.

“I am still in high school so I shall decline for now.”

“Yeah, but I’ve already told him that you were going. So come with, Reika?”

HAHH?
Forcing me to go to a Kaburagi party of all things!?

“Reika,” Okaasama cut in. “Masaya-sama might be at this party! How about we show him your new dress?”

That was what I wanted to avoid the most though. Okaasama was rather too cheerful about the whole thing.

And I’ve got my end of term exams too. Instead I have to play dress-up doll for her?

“It’s fine,” said Otousama. “I’ll make sure to escort you, Reika.”

What on earth is this tanuki saying.

“No, I’ll have Oniisama do so if you please.”

Hmph! You think looking depressed like that is enough for me to feel sorry for you!

*

For a while I considered telling Kaburagi I was coming, but in the end I decided against it. To begin with I dunno if he’s even comming, and if he said ‘So?’ I wouldn’t know what to say.
Anyway, the day of the party came in no time at all.

*

Corporate parties are really boring. Growing up I avoided as many as possible on the basis that I was still a child, but I suppose I’ll be seeing more and more of these from now on. What a pain, geez. Incidentally, Kaburagi didn’t come.
Oniisama escorted me as I kept a smile on my face. Some of the parents of fellow Pivoine members were there so I made some polite conversation. Most of it was talking about how wonderful their children were.
Both my parents were doing basically the same thing elsewhere.

“Tired, Reika?”

“I am still fine.”

“Yeah? It’ll only be a bit longer, so hold on.”

Supported by Oniisama’s soft encouragement, I fired myself up for another meet and greet.

“Gokigen’yoh. I am Kisshouin Reika.”

At that moment a voice called out from behind.

“Thanks for coming, Takateru-kun.”

“Why if it isn’t Chairman Kaburagi. Thank you for the invitation tonight.”

Chairman Kaburagi!? Kaburagi’s dad!?

I turned around in a hurry.

-DOKKINNN!!-

Kaburagi’s dad was this unbelievably stylish ojisama.
I’ve always avoided their family so it was my first time seeing him up close.
He’s probably Otousama’s age by what the heck is this different!? His belly isn’t coming out at all! And even his crow’s feet make him look refined instead of old. Not only that but his eyes seem both sharp and magnanimous! It’s a flood of charisma! SO COOOL!!! And WHOA, he’s freaking tall!
He’s like Beethoven’s Emperor Concerto.

Completely unlike his son’s Night On Bald Mountain. This man is a true emperor!

He was just so awesome that I couldn’t help but stare dumbly for a while.

“This is my younger sister, Reika. Come on Reika, it’s Chairman Kaburagi.”

“Good evening, Reika-san. Thank you for coming tonight.”

The elegant ojisama smiled at me.
Oh no! This isn’t the time to be spacing out!

“Thank you very much for your invitation tonight. I am Kisshouin Reika,” I replied politely, suppressing the wild beating of my heart.

Holy crap, please let me leave a good impression with *him at least.

“No need to be so polite. You’re in Masaya’s year, aren’t you. I hope he hasn’t been causing you trouble.”

“No, not at all. Masaya-sama is an amazing and talented person.”

We’re not close enough for that.

“I hear that you’re doing well yourself, Reika-san. Your father must be proud of you. I heard that you always bake sweets for your beloved father. Ah, and there was a plush toy recently too, wasn’t there. Goodness, I wish I had a daughter. I’m envious of your father.”

Otousama, you’re exaggerating too much!
What the heck has he been saying about me. It’s so scary I can’t even think about it.

“Chairman Kaburagi, thank you for earlier.”

Speak of the devil.

“Ah, it’s you, Chairman Kisshouin. I was just speaking to the children you and your lovely wife are so proud of. Reika-san really is a lovely young lady. I expected no less from your beloved daughter.”

“Haha, thank you, Chairman Kaburagi.”

Oi, you’re supposed to say ‘you flatter us’ there, Tanuki.
Next to the chubby Tanuki, Kaburagi’s otousan looked even cooler than usual. I have to hand it to Okaasama, she’s pretty amazing for not feeling disappointed when her husband is standing next to this guy.
After that, the tanuki began to share secret and vastly exaggerated tales of how well he got along with his daughter.
Somebody save me.
The big-hearted Chairman Kaburagi went along with the tanuki’s delusions with a smile.
At the end of it all, Chairman Kaburagi told me,

“I hope we’ll meet again, Reika-san.”

Again with a dazzling smile.

Wow… So dreamy…

Wai-, this isn’t the time for this, Reika!

You vowed to stay away from the Kaburagi family so what are you doing getting familiar…

I have to get back on track!

*

A few days later in the salon, Kaburagi came up to me and laughed,

“Heard it from my pops but not only are you a brocon, you’re a fathercon on top of that?”

TANUKIIIIIIIIIII!!

---

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Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!

Join the Evil God Army on discord!
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---

Merry Christmas!

---

Cream cheese is delicious with honey.
It’s great just to eat it like that but I like to eat it on scones. It’s even more delicious that way.
My family buys high class honey from specialist honey stores without an issue. What a wonderful life.
I wonder which honey I should have today. Maybe the lavender.
I spread it generously on top of my cream cheese and then gobbled it all down with a scone. Wow. This is true bliss.
I’m feeling full with just one. But I’ll have another just to be safe.
Eating it two days in a row has brought about some terrifying consequences though. Weight-wise.
Truly the food of the devil!

*

Anyway, while I was wallowing in my lack of self-control I received a phone call from Aoi-chan.

“Oniichan is getting weirder and weirder,” she said.

“Ah, the muscley guitarist? Is he still playing every day?”

“He’s singing too now…”

“My my…”

Her voice was grim.

“You know, apparently he started this whole guitar thing after he met somebody he liked. And so he’s going to confess to her with a self-written love song… Every day he submits his own flesh and blood to his horrible love songs. It’s terrible, right? All of my family has been telling him to stop but he doesn’t listen. And oh god, the lyrics.
♫ Ever since meeting you ♫
♫ There’s been a thump thump in my chest ♫
♫ And my heart is light and tender ♫
Who writes crap like that. Some days I feel like I could die from the embarrassment. Whenever Oniichan starts to sing my mum will cover her ears. It’s miserable being his sister.”

A self-made love song? At least it isn’t a poem, I guess.
Sometimes you see people singing and confessing to girls on t.v. but the girls always seem happy enough though. I’d probably run away in embarrassment, personally.
But then it’s usually guys who write love songs and poems, isn’t it. I don’t think a guy would really want to listen to a love song. Maybe that’s why girls make things instead?
Maybe there’s some male-only disease going around that makes them want to spontaneously write stuff like that. Scary… Thank goodness Oniisama never caught it.
Oh, but sometimes Oniisama does play Schubert’s Ständchen (Serenade).

It’s wonderful!
Mn. I guess it’s better to leave song-writing up to the professionals.

“Were somebody to suddenly sing and confess to me I might run from the shock. And what if the girl in question dislikes that sort of thing…”

“Yeah. But apparently the girl he likes is really into music. She likes musicians and that.”

“Oh~”

“They takes classes at uni together and he tried his best to get her but it’s been hard. Apparently that was when he turned to song writing…”

“My~”

Classes at uni together, huh. I forgot he was in university.

“Mari~ Mari~ My beloved Mari~ You have taken me pri-soh-nah~ Good god, I can’t take the idiocy anymore.”

I guess he really doesn’t have any talent. Wow, this might actually be worse than Class Rep’s poem. If Class Rep’s disease gets any worse, do you think he might start breaking into song? Anything but that, Class Rep.
Hm, but Mari…

“Incidentally, might I ask which university he attends?”

Aoi-chan answered with Marin-sensei’s university. Huh, they’re the same grade too.
Wait, no way…

“My tutor is apparently one of your brother’s cohorts. Her type is visual kei musicians too.”

“EHH!?”

“Her name sounds a little close too. I cannot give out her personal information, though.”

“I see. Then it might be the same person, huh. Visual kei, though? Oniichan’s stuff is more like folk songs though. That’s totally different.”

“Well, it may just be a coincidence after all.”

“Yeah. Maybe I should talk to Oniichan though.”

With that, Aoi-chan hung up. No matter what she says, she’s actually pretty worried about her brother’s love-life isn’t she.
Still, Aoi-chan’s oniisan and Marin-sensei? What a small world.

*

The next day I arrived at the salon to find Kaburagi playing Liszt’s Liebesträume (Love Dream).

EHHHH!? WHAT THE HEEECK!? SO COOL!!

The light from between tree leaves was filtering into through the window, and combined with Kaburagi’s amazing and emotional piano, I am ashamed to admit that my heart fluttered for a moment. No, Reika! Open your eyes!
But wow, who knew this stupid horse riding maniac could actually play the piano. I guess this is what they call ‘gap moe’? Goddamn, what power.
Man, but I’ll bet you anything he’s thinking about Yurie-sama as he’s playing. It’s a bit sad…
Oniisama’s Serenade is great too, but Kaburagi’s Liszt was also nice. Exactly what a young maiden would love.
Pretty much all the other girls in the room were completely entranced. A true privilege of being a Pivoine member.
I wonder if he’d take requests?

*

After hearing Kaburagi’s piano, I was certain. Writing your own song is a bad idea.
I messaged Aoi-chan:

“The wise stick to existing songs. Writing your own is high-risk high-return.”

The reply I got though…

“Oniichan can’t stop his fiery passion. After I told him what you mentioned, he became convinced that it was the same person. Apparently the girl he likes is the tutor to some incredibly rich ojousama. He’s changed over from folk songs to visual kei stuff and now he’s even added weird shouts to his song. Oh god.”

…Muscles Oniisaaaaan!

*

For Aoi-chan’s sake, I decided to help as well. I was going to sell her Oniichan to Marin-sensei. Once the two of them got together her brother would stop playing guitar all the time and then peace would return to her family.
I tried it the next day I had tutoring.

“Marin-sensei, as I recall you mentioned somebody rather incessant in their wooing? The rather overwhelming one…”

“Ah, I did. What about it?”

“Is he still interested in you?”

“Gosh, Reika-sama, what are you asking all of a sudden. …Well, yes?”

I knew it!

“You said that he was not truly your type but what if you gave him a chance? I am sure he is a good person. What if you discovered that you liked him?”

“Eh-, well, yeah.”

“Indeed! If he suddenly begins singing to you, I hope that you will not run away!”

“Singing to me? I wonder what you mean. He doesn’t have any interest in music at all.”

“What if he does now! He’s going to sing and play to confess to you!”

Oops.

“Confess…?”

“Ah, that was supposed to be a surprise so…”

“I’m not sure what you mean by confess. I mean, we’re already dating.”

…Eh?

“Dating?”

“Yes. He was just so earnest about it all that I couldn’t help but say yes.”

Marin-sensei showed me a picture of the two of them together. The man was a diligent-looking man who wouldn’t look out of place as a researcher.
Slim, and definitely not muscley.

“Eh-, I thought you said that he was overwhelming… And the complete opposite to the visual kei type…”

“Aah, well, he just kept saying he liked me over and over again so it was a little overwhelming. And don’t you think these serious types have the complete opposite personality to visual kei rockers?”

“Aah… I see… Ah! Umm! Were there any over men that were interested in you? Like perhaps a muscley man.”

“Nope.”

“No?”

“Nope.”

I GOT THE WRONG GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUY!!

Of course. How could there be such a convenient development!
What do I do. I have to quickly let Aoi-chan know or else.
While Marin-sensei was boasting fondly about her boyfriend I got permission to send a text to my friend. Just as I was about to write something a text from Aoi-chan came.

“What do I do!? Oniichan’s gotten into death metal! He’s even started using Mum’s make-up and she’s super angry at him now! It’s scary! How am I going to sleep tonight!?”

WHAT DO I DOO!?

*

Oh man. Oh man, oh man. I don’t think I’ll be able to face her family now.
With trembling hands I told her that it was the wrong person, as I prayed that it wasn’t too late.

…Muscles-oniisan, wanna join my Forever Alone Village?
AAAH! I’M SO SORRYY!

---

TLN: Gap moe is a term used to describe the appeal present in seeing another, surprising side of somebody you think you already have a good grasp of.

So kind of like when you’re reading Madan no Ou no Vanadis and the woman you’d only known as strict and confrontational happened to have this side to her:

---

<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!

Join the Evil God Army on discord!
https://discord.gg/0uufyDAsTZXQaMz1

---

Merry Christmas!

---

One day in June, Kasumi-sama passed words to me that Tomoe-senpai was calling me to the Student Council room. Apparently it was some secret…

I opened the door in trepidation to find Tomoe-senpai and Stalking Horse there.

“Sorry for calling you out here, Kisshouin-san. Come sit down.”

Tomoe-senpai beckoned me towards one of the couches. Right next to Stalking Horse. Who glanced at me for a moment before averting his eyes.

After sitting down on the sofa opposite ours, Tomoe-senpai looked at my face, and then Stalking Horse’s.

“I actually called the two of you here because I wanted the two of you to serve in the Student Council next term.”

“Hah?”

“Eh?”

Serve in the Student Council!?

In middle school the member of the Student Council served until the end of Term 2, but in high school it’s only until Term 1. Right after the Summer Break the Student Council President retires and an election is held. Once the new Student Council President and Vice President are elected they nominate the other members. The students they nominate are told in advance though.

And apparently I was one of them.

“Arima, I know you were the Student Council President in the middle school section. You’re an obvious choice. You’ll accept, of course?”

“Yeah, well, I don’t really have a problem with it but…”

Stalking Horse looked confused as he glanced my way. Mn. I know what you mean. Why the hell is a Pivoine girl like me here, right? I’m basically asking the same thing.

“True, Kisshouin-san is a member of the Pivoine, but since primary school she’s served as Class Rep a number of times. Not only that but she’s honest and hard-working. This is something I know very well too. Not only that, but she’s one of the Pivoine members who get along more amicably with the Student Council. It’s really a new faction, you could say. That’s why I really hope that she’ll accept.”

Uwahh~ I’m happy that Tomoe-senpai trusts me so much, but defying the Pivoine like that is really too scary. I’d completely ruin myself if I did.

“I am terribly sorry, Tomoe-senpai. That is probably asking a little much. I am still a Pivoine member in the end.”

“You can’t be both?”

“I would probably be seen as a spy by both sides…”

Scaryy. I’m actually in the Pivoine so I know better than anyone else just how scary it would be to anger them. At worse I might be bullied until I drop out of school. Ah, but well, it’s the Student Council’s job to help with bullying isn’t it.

Anyway, the elitist Pivoine and egalitarian Student Council are like, conceptually opposed, so there’s no way I could be a member of both. It wouldn’t make sense.

“Mmn, I guess you can’t after all.”

Tomoe-senpai stretched.

“You know, I thought you might say that but since it was you I was just hoping that you might. You’d be like a bridge between us after all. But I guess the divide between the two groups is even more intense during high school, isn’t it.”

Yes. It’s not just a divide, it’s like the Mariana Trench.

“Then just you for Student Council then, Arima. But Kisshouin-san, you’ll help out in your role as Class Rep?”

“Yes. Whatever I can.”

Next to me, Stalking Horse was looking at me suspiciously. What the heck. Didn’t we get along in middle school? I was Class Rep then too. Aah, but then again I was the one who collected the handouts while it was Monk Boy who actually brought them to the Student Council Room.

Don’t tell me that he thought I pushed all the work onto Monk-kun!? That’s offensive! I worked my butt off!

And I thought we were stalking horse buddies too.

Why are you looking at me like that! You’re supposed to be the Vice Chief of the Forever Alone Village!

“What.”

“Nah, nothing.”

Tomoe-senpai smiled helplessly at the two of us.

“Arima. Kisshouin-san is somebody you can rely on in a crisis. Don’t be prejudiced just because she’s a Pivoine. You need to have an open mind.”

“…But then what’s with that nickname of hers.”

Nickname!?

I heard his mumble with my super hearing.

“Mizusaki-kun. What nickname might you be referring to?”

“Uh… It’s nothing.”

How can it be nothing! Are people calling me by some weird nickname behind my back!?

Could it be that’s why the boys all avoid me!?

“Mizusaki-kun.”

“I don’t know anything!”

“You lie. When a person lies they look up and to the right. Just as you did a moment ago.”

“Why do you know stuff like that!”

Oniisama taught me. Problem?”

“Anyway, I said I don’t know, okay! It’s Makkie or something, okay!”

Makkie? Makkie because I’ve got makigami(curled hair)!?

I’m not sure if I should feel offended or not. I mean, at least it’s not Curls. Isn’t it a bit cute? Makkie. Boys, you can call me Makkie if you want!

Stalking Horse was covering his eyes with his hands. Is he that afraid of me seeing through his lies? Bro, the moment you do that I can tell you’re lying. Is there some other weird nickname?

“Now, now, you two,” said Tomoe-senpai as he came between us. “You’re the two kouhai I trust the most. That’s why once I graduate and leave, I hope that you’ll support the Student Council together.”

Since he stopped us I’ll leave it for now. I can always investigate later.

More importantly… Graduating, huh… Even though I’m finally in the same section as him again, he’ll be gone after just a year? That’s so lonely.

“Oh? Is something wrong, Kisshouin-san?”

“No…”

Wow. That’s really so lonely.

Tomoe-senpai is really balanced so things aren’t too bad between the Student Council and Pivoine right now, too.

Actually, it’s really only him that doesn’t mind the Pivoine. The next Student Council President wouldn’t want me in it anyway.

I wonder what’s going to happen after he leaves. I don’t want things to get tense.

“Anyway, that’s all I had to say. Arima, we’ll hammer out some of the details for next term, so please stay behind for a bit. Kisshouin-san, that’s all I had to say. Thanks for coming.”

“I understand. Then Tomoe-senpai, Mizusaki-kun, gokigen’you.”

“Take care, and stay safe.”

“…You too.”

After that I headed straight for the car waiting for me.

I’m feeling a bit down for some reason. I know! Tomorrow I’ll eat some snacks! It’s been a while! Maybe the Lucky Turn crackers I’ve hidden in my closet.

*

The next day I caught hold of Satomi-kun and questioned him about my nicknames.

“Your nicknames?”

“Yes. Yesterday Mizusaki-kun mentioned something to that effect. I heard about Makkie, but are there any other nicknames I should know about?”

“Makkie? Oh, because of your hair. Ahh, I dunno, not right now?”

“Right now? Then in the past I have had other nicknames? What were they?”

“Eh… Ahhh, Goddess… I guess…?”

“Goddess?”

“Ahh! I really don’t know much about it! But nobody uses it now, okay! It was just in middle school! I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again, promise!”

Goddess…? The first that comes to mind is Aphrodite, but that’s already taken. That boy who got rather enthusiastic with his violin performance on our trip. His hair is a bit of an afro so everyone calls him Afrodite. Except that’s a bit of a mouthful, so really it’s just ‘Dite’ now.

As for other goddesses, there’s like Venus or like Athena and stuff? Those are the famous ones after all. But there are so many Greek goddesses, aren’t there. Well whatever.

“I suppose that will do, for now.”

Satomi-kun let out a huge sigh of relief and ran back to his ring of friends.

…Goddess, huh. But gosh, what if it’s really Venus. Oh no!

---

<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!

Join the Evil God Army on discord!
https://discord.gg/0uufyDAsTZXQaMz1

---

Merry Christmas! I still have one or two more chapters to release today, so look forward to that~

---

Hmm hmm hmmmm~

My doll knitting has really coming along. I’ve been using the expensive stuff so it always feels good to touch it! I think I’ll have a lot of fun rubbing my cheeks against it when I’m done.
I’ve been knitting at home as well. After dinner I usually laze about in the living room and work on it. I wonder if it’ll be done soon.
I’m also happy that immersing myself in this has been reducing my snack breaks. Why do humans always go looking for food when they’re bored…
Anyway, maybe I’ll go back to needle felting once this is done. I think I’ll try making a cat this time.

Hmm hmm hmm~

*

As usual, today I headed to the Handicrafts Clubroom with my knit doll.

“It seems to be progressing quite nicely, Reika-sama. It should be done soon.”

“Yup, it’s looking quite cute. I like how you’ve done the belly.”

“Thank you. I have been knitting at home as well.”

I was particularly careful about how I introduced a different colour for the seams. The curvature of the belly was done super, super carefully too.

“I was thinking of using needle felting to create a cat after this is complete. If I am not mistaken there are a few members of this club that practice needle felting as well, correct?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

I beamed at the Felting Group.
They smiled back at me. Yup, I really think we’re getting along.
So Club President, please let me into the club already. I know you’ve got the register in a clear folder in that schoolbag over there, okay?
Don’t think you can get rid of me after this knit doll is done.

*

One day while I was heading the Handicrafts Club, as I passed Enjou in the hallway he said to me,

“Kisshouin-san, Katsuragi has been calling you the Violent Woman. Do you have any idea what he means?”

so I replied,

“Not the faintest. I have not the slightest inkling of what on earth he means.”

He smiled at me and drawled

“Of course. You’re ever so graceful after all.”

so I smiled back and replied,

“Of course.”

before making my way to the clubroom.

That little snitch. He brings shame on the entire male sex… It’s settled. My next needle felting project will be a birdbrain.

*

*

Eventually my doll was finally complete. I brought it with me to the living room where my parents and Oniisama were relaxing with some tea.

“Oh? Reika. Is your doll done?”

“Yes, it is.”

“You’ve been knitting quite a bit, haven’t you. Did you make a doll?”

Tadah!
I revealed my doll to the family. It was a small tanuki with glasses.

“This is you, Otousama.”

“Eh-”

I handed it over to him.

“I made the animal that I think suits you best, Otousama. I made it just for you. Will you accept it?”

“For me?”

Holding it in two hands, he stared at it.
Back when Wakaba-chan first entered Zui’ran I was so shocked that I might have repeatedly and vocally doubted Otousama. He got completely depressed and Oniisama told me off. I’m reflecting.
Everyone knows it, myself included, but I’m kind of a brother’s girl. Still, Otousama has always spoiled me since I was little. That’s why I like Otousama as well. Plus, seeing a man his age look so sad made me feel pretty guilty too.
That’s why I made this as an apology.
I know that people hate getting hand-knitted stuff because it’s too intense, but we’re father and daughter so it’s totally okay, right?

“I even added glasses, see? Don’t you think it looks just like you, Otousama?”

I took a seat next to him.

“Yeah, it’s well made. Thanks, Reika. I’m really happy. But you see me as a tanuki, huh. Is it because you think I’m cunning like an old tanuki…?”

“No, the tanuki has a fat belly just like you do. But hmm, an old tanuki. I suppose that fits you as well.”

“…I-, I see.”

Otousama made a somewhat difficult expression as he kept looking at the doll.

“It was my first time knitting so the seams are a little off, but you can barely see it if you avoid looking closely, right? This is my first completed knit doll.”

“Ooh! So the first one goes to me.”

Otousama looked at Oniisama smugly.
Otousama, you really look like an evil tanuki when you do that, you know.

“Good for you, Dear,” added my mother.”

“Yup, yup. But Reika, do you really think my tummy is that big?” he asked as he rubbed his belly.

“Yes, it is. Being overweight is bad for your health, so I think you should take a diet.”

“…I suppose.”

“I know a way to get rid of a stubborn tummy; hula hooping. I shall lend you mine, Otousama.”

“You have something like that?”

“…She’s at it again…?”

Eh, Oniisama, did you say something just now?

“Let us hula hoop together. After all, I hope that my beloved father will stay healthy forever.”

“Ohh! So that’s how it is!”

The moment he heard “beloved” his mood shot through the roof.
Is Otousama going to be okay? I’m worried he’ll get scammed one day. You really shouldn’t trust everything people say.

With the doll in hand, Otousama headed to my room.

“It’s a bit embarrassing entering my daughter’s room,” he said, oddly happy.

Oh gosh. Could it be that it wasn’t fraud that gets him in trouble, but sexual harassment?”

“Now then, Otousama, really put your back into it and work off your tummy!”

“Alright!”

Otousama began vigorously hula hooping.

“GYAH!”

“Otousama!?”

Otousama was admitted to hospital for back pains.
Okaasama got incredibly angry at me.
In the hospital room I just happened to say,

“Sorry. I should have known better than to push the elderly.”

Oniisama said “He’s at a delicate age, so pick your words better!” and got angry at me too.

I’m reflecting…

*

Anyway, after Otousama left the hospital my handmade doll found a place in the study.
I heard that sometimes Otousama would happily pat it.

Since he liked it so much, I decided to be a bit cheeky and give it a cane for its back when Oniisama yelled,

“Have you reflected at all!”

and got angry at me yet again.

Of course I have. I’m teasing him because I love him.

---

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