Wait for me, Oniisama!

First Year.

PASHIN, went the hard sound of the fan closing.
The mana that had been single-heartedly emitted in no particular direction now faded away, without forming a single shape.
The boy who was forcefully awakened from his extreme nervousness, had drawn in a deep breath before he had realised it.
A woman with neatly ordered brown hair, with just a tinge of golden, gazed at the boy with cold eyes.

“Gilford, could it be that you cannot form even a fireball?”

“…I-, ‘m very sorry, esteemed (step)mother.”

The woman gave a deep sigh, as though she were disappointed from the depths of her heart, before placing a hand to her head.
With this, the person you could call the boy’s final stronghold, had finally given up on him.
She had become somebody that would no longer protect him.
He had failed her test after all; the test of she who was the most unopposable authority in this magic clan.
This woman did not have the leisure to pay attention to the incompetent.
Even if this was a given result, it still aches the heart.

―――However.
As I watched this boy’s shoulders shakily rise and fall with trembling breaths, and saw a membrane of tears cover his verdant eyes, despite myself, despite myself, the beating of my heart began to quicken.
The moment that the bishounen with the dull silver hair and green eyes was moved to tears by his failure, and was abandoned by the beautiful blonde woman…
The moment that he hit rock bottom, that marked the most important point for this story about crawling up from the bedrock…
To think the day would come that I would see with my own eyes this picturesque scene. I had never even thought it possible.

The person looking on from the side looked like nothing but the image of a cold-headed stepmother, but she had kindness that allowed her to never give up on him, no matter how many times, how many times he failed a test.
But Okaasama with her weak body is forbidden from straining her heart.
If she continued guiding them even after they failed the test, she would definitely collapse.
While calming this heart of mine that had been trembling with emotion, I cut in between the two of them to take on that duty myself.

“Okaasama. Would it be all right if I took over testing Oniisama?”

Since I’ve gained Okaasama’s permission, and I’ve seen her off…
Now then, with this it’s my turn now.
I abruptly changed my posture, and after gazing at the bishounen with villainous, confident eyes, I let out a fireball the size of my palm into the air.
It wasn’t magic that corresponded to my strength; I deliberately mass produced the beginner class spell that he was desperately practising.
One, two, three――――――――――――ten.
The boy’s eyes were coloured with despair as he gazed at the fire balls surrounding my small body.

“By the rules of our family, I will not forgive a person eternally useless.”

Raising a small arm into the air as the fireballs followed my movements, I turned them towards the boy.
Regardless of the fact that there was a protective film cast over him, touching the balls you would find them appropriately hot, and those fireballs rained down onto the defenceless boy.

“Oniisama, let me teach you the difference between us.”

Even if they’re older than you, or in a higher position than you, the strength of the person takes priority.
Whether you’re brother and sister, father and daughter, master and disciple, it’s the same.
The unconditionally meritocractic Luzil family is super muscle-headed.

…*

＊

…*

Just like in many stories, 【I】 was reincarnated.

In the past, there was once a book that began to have a quiet boom, which bit by bit began to catch on, and just as they were about to conclude the series and people were thinking ‘The anime adaptation is pretty close too!’ …with such exceptional timing, the publisher went bankrupt, and it was postponed.
The name of the series was called ‘The Magician and the Country of Night’.
In the past, I was completely engrossed in it.
A book once a year, and at worst, even a book every three years. This series that would only be released at such a pace was to I, who spent my days in boredom, the only thing I had to look forward to in excitement.

There were many characters that I liked, but amongst them all, I was particularly fond of the protagonist.
He was a 【Strongest Character】 type protagonist that you often find in novels, but because of his mental development as a person in the novels, and because he didn’t boorishly bulldoze through everything with force, he was terribly cool.
Early life, an unfortunate childhood, a door opening to a world he never knew, a journey with his friends, schemes that stood in the way, blessings of a guardian spirit, grief on the battlefield, difficulties, and growth.
Each of these components were spices that made him shine―――the only regrettable thing was that just before his final confrontation, the publishers went bankrupt.

Now then, the world that I was born into was none other than that of ‘The Magician and the Country of Night’.
The truth is that when I was younger, my memories were unstable, so I wasn’t really sure, but once my ego had developed, I properly realised the situation.

Indeed; I realised that in the near future, the protagonist―――the Grand Hydromancer, Gilford, would become my older brother.

Honestly speaking, when I realised this, I was so excited that for days I couldn’t even fall asleep.
I mean, I had been reborn as one of the characters in the book that was my absolute favourite in my past life.
I spent every single day excited, and dived into my studies of magic with enthusiasm.
I showed my mother and father knowledge above my age, and grasped the tenets of magic.
However, once I calmed down a little and thought through one of the memories in my mind, I realised that the road my future brother would be travelling would be filled with difficulties.
Of course, growth comes hand in hand with difficulties, so I had not the slightest intention of negating that.
The worries on the battlefield, the conflicts with the enemy, the discord between friends; all of them were essential to growth, so it wasn’t a big problem.

But. But,
the magician who was the country’s final defence was my oniisama―――this was a problem.
He was unmistakably the protagonist. However, he belonged to the type that matured and showed their talents later.

The Luzil family that Gil-sama and I belong to is a clan of pyromancers.
A clan was directly descended from a great magician who had in the early days of the country, cleared a path through the enemies with their flames, and established clear national borders.
And even now, it was a clan that was a key cornerstone of our country, a clan that overpowered the forces of the opportunistic neighbouring countries that might seek to attack us.
Would there be any noble who wouldn’t be proud of such an important position? No, there wouldn’t be.
As a result, this family of mine that values strength more than anything, is a complete meritocracy.
That’s why my late-bloomer Oniisama had for a long time been treated as something lower than a worm in this house.

Originally when Otousama had suddenly brought back a boy and said ‘This is my kid.’ it was a huge fiasco.
It wasn’t described in the book, but probably seeing that his daughter had such potential, he ecstatically thought ‘Maybe the seeds I sowed earlier are strong as well’.
Gil-sama is a child who’s older than me―――in other words, he was a kid conceived during Otousama’s political engagement with the esteemed Okaasama.
For a long time now they had seemed like a couple in a political marriage that only played the parts of husband and wife, but since Gil-sama was brought back, the relations between the two of them became as terrible as they could get.
It was a relationship with nothing going for it except trust, so it can’t be helped that it came to this though.
Even so, she married into this family that served as the cornerstone to our national defence, so Okaasama resolved herself.
It was good to have even one more able magician serving the country.
That’s why she very properly trained Gil-sama in the magic of the Luzil family.

The result was that Oniisama had absolutely no talent for fire.
The symbol of her husband’s infidelity, a talentless good-for-nothing――――――with such a boy pushed onto her, Okaasama’s pride as a royal princess had already long been torn to shreds.
Had Gil-sama even a little bit of talent in pyromancy then once he grew up he could at least work as a magician to protect the country, even if it was work in support roles, so her husband’s infidelity was tied to supporting the country; it was for this reason that she could bear it.
However, the reality was that even after teaching, and teaching him, he revealed no power whatsoever.
And seeing Okaasama driven into a corner like that, those that sympathised with her, and those that were envious of his position, all verbally abused Gil-sama, so he ended up spending a pitiful ten years like that.
That was what was written in the novel.
It was a family built on meritocracy, so that part of it can’t be helped though.

But, but, no matter how much growth you can gain from suffering, the circumstances really are just too much!
Even though the only one in the wrong is Otousama with his loose lower body, Gil-sama and Okaasama are really too pitiful. I was angry.

Thankfully, 【I】 am Origa Emelda Luzil.
The one known as the strongest villain in that story, the Lady of the Inferno, Origa.
In the book, Origa was such a powerful pyromancer that she was even called the heaven-sent child of pyromancy, and with a severe and flaming personality, she mowed down every person in the clan with her strength, and snatched the position of clan head from Otousama at the young age of sixteen.
And like that, because of that severe meritocracy, various incidents were―――no, that’s not something relevant right this moment though.

Even if I speed things along a little, it’s a predetermined ending, so there shouldn’t be any problem.
This is a story about the growth of the magician Gilford, that heads towards an ending where he saves the nation.
As long as it’s regarding matters outside of the blooming of his abilities, and his reign as the best magician in the country, I believed that I would be able to interfere.

So that’s how it is.
I want to hurry up and refine his talent so that nobody can say a thing about him, and free Gil-sama and Okaasama from the fate that they’re experiencing.
In other words, each day I do nothing but devote myself to playing the villain.

Sorry, Oniisama!
―――It’s just for a little while longer, so hold on, okay?

tl: “esteemed (step)mother”
It’s written ‘giboue/義母上‘ or ‘esteemed step-mother’, but he probably reads it as ‘hahaue’ or ‘esteemed mother’. Well, I’m not entirely sure, so correct me if you think this is a situation where he would actually read it as ‘gibo’, but I don’t think he does.
Ah, for readers with no idea what I’m talking about, in Japanese, usually you would refer to step-parents or in-laws as ‘step/-inlaw’ when you write, but pronounce it as ‘mother’ or ‘father’. But since this is fantasy, I’m not exactly sure how things go.

Please, God

..*

―――It hurts.
―――It’s lonely.

Even if I try to press the nurse call button, my vision is narrow, it’s gotten dark, and I don’t even know where it is.
This incredibly painful heart, these lungs that won’t breath; they tell me that I don’t have any time left.
And even though this is something I’ve prepared myself for countless times, my heart is rejecting this end with all its power; I don’t want to die like this.

..*

I lived a life that couldn’t bring joy to a single person.

..*

I became bound to a bed before I entered school, so I don’t have a single friend.
Even the nurses that treated me kindly drew the line of our relationship as a professional one.
I know that even my parents, somewhere in their hearts, thought badly of this weak life of mine that wouldn’t die all this time.
I’m sure that even if I die, everyone will forget me.

These white sheets, this pile of books, the mechanical sounds of this medical equipment; that’s all that exists in this world that surrounds me.
Memories of running about under the sun, were something impossible for me to have.
I’ve never played with somebody with all my might, nor gotten in a fight with anyone.
A memory happy enough that I’ll never forget it; such a thing doesn’t exist even in my mind

Aaah, really, what a sad life.
Being all alone like this, isn’t how I want to die.
For me to die without anyone missing me…
For me to die after living such an empty life…

But, it isn’t as though these feelings won’t take away the pain that my heart feels.
It’s the end.
Even if I call for the nurses, I’ll die.
In that case…

I reach out my trembling hand, to the book on the table beside me.
I might not be able to reach it.
I might not be able to hold it.
But, at the very least,
even if this life of mine doesn’t leave anything behind, at the very end, I want to die feeling happy.
I want to touch this beloved, adored, dream-like, hope-filled book of mine.

..*

Aaah.
If I can be born again, this time, I want to live like him.

..*

My stretched out hand, dropped to the white sheets, empty.