Book of God – 07

Chapter 7 – Dungeon Restart

Ever since the revelation the other day, we began constructing the town around the temple again as a matter of urgent priority, and I was busy maintaining the dungeon that I had left alone for a while.
Ever since that day that I became the Evil God, not a single person has come to invade the dungeon with the temple built on top. It’s not like I deactivated anything, so in that respect the dungeon was still ready for people at this very moment, but since I may as well, I decided that I would perform maintenance on various things just in case.

Now then, with that as the preface, although this may be a little sudden, I’d like to change to the event that I’ve been waiting for.
Indeed. It’s time for the much awaited dragon summoning.

Dragon──the symbol of the strongest being that stands at the top of the fantasy world. Sometimes as the strongest enemy, sometimes as the most reliable ally, sometimes as the god that rules the world – though the position may change, the dragon is written as the strongest.
A majestic body and sharp fangs. Tough scales and claws that can tear apart any matter of being. And finally, great wings fitting of the ruler of the skies. With just one breath, they can blow apart a great army, and are sometimes able to make free use of even powerful magic. The strongest monster, the dragon, is such a being.

You can roughly split them into the lizard-like western dragons, and the snake-like eastern dragons, but it really has to be a western dragon, I think. I think there are all sorts of dragon fans, so there might be people who disagree, but at the very least, right now I’m the one doing the summoning so I’ll choose the way I like.

*imouto*

Or so I was faintly thinking, as I performed the preparations for the dragon summoning.

It’s a dragon after all, so I’m sure it’ll definitely be huge.
It might be a little dangerous to summon it in the office where the dungeon core is. The truth is I made that kind of mistake during the summoning for the 20th floor’s orichalcum Living Armour, and I have bitter memories of having the room half-destroyed. I won’t make the same mistake again.
Instead of the immobile main core, I held the portable subcore and teleported to the 30th floor boss room to summon the dragon. Even if I summon it somewhere else I’ll have to teleport it here anyway, so it saves time just to summon it here to begin with.

*imouto*

The room has been the same ever since the day that I met with Leonora here. The throne is human-sized and unsuited to the dragon I’m going to summon, but I’ll think about changing the room after the summoning to match it.

“Dungeon Create.”

I muttered so with the subcore in my hand, and a window appeared.
I chose the “summon” entry from it, and from various monster categories, I picked “dragon type”. And when I did, a list with various pictures of dragons and their parameters appeared. Fire dragons and water dragons and earth dragons and wind dragons – I felt like grinning just by looking at the lineup, but I worked hard to keep cool.
Since I’m going to summon one anyway, I’ll go with the strongest. Since the day I became a divine, my mana’s just been piling up without any chance to use it, so I can pick whatever dragon I want. It was possible to sort the list by the amount of mana used, so I looked at the one with the biggest value… How cool. He looks strong. I’ll go with him.

“Summon Dragon.”

It’s not like I needed to say that, but it just came out of my mouth.
When I began summoning, a gargantuan magic circle of 20m diameter appeared in front of me. When the magic circle flickered, an enormous amount of magic gathered above it, and space seemed to warp. And then, something giant began to show itself from that warp.
That giant being let out a roar before my expectant eyes.

“PIKYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!”

◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

Why did this happen.
There’s no better way to word my feelings. I just stood there dumbfounded, gazing at the tragedy before me.

A majestic body and sharp fangs. Tough scales and claws that can tear apart any matter of being. And finally, great wings fitting of the ruler of the skies. A dragon with all of these things was cowering in a corner of the room, hiding its face against the wall. Literally the Japanese phrase, ‘covering your head and leaving your bottom exposed’.

Black Dragon Vardneel.

500,000,000 mana points; an amount that surpasses just plain harassment, and is at a level where you just lose interest in summoning him to begin with. The most powerful and wicked dragon that had materialised in exchange for that ridiculous amount of mana let out a screech the moment he appeared on the magic circle, and as good as dashed away from me like a startled hare.

Mn, it’s not as though I didn’t have some faint idea that this would happen.
Lately I’ve only been talking to humans and demons, as well as divines who it didn’t work on at all so I totally forgot about its existence, but the description for the Evil God Aura skill certainly did say “has enough power to send a dragon running frantically”.
I acknowledge this. I acknowledge this, but it really is cruel.
Even though I’ve been looking forward to this… always looking forward to this…

I was even uncharacteristically excited while daydreaming about what would happen once the strongest dragon had my divine protection. But looking at him, it seems completely impossible that he’d accept me from the heart. And in fact, just taking a step forward from where I was standing had him tremble with a start, and frantically press himself further up the wall to escape.
Ah-, he’s finally showing his belly.
Don’t want. I don’t want the strongest dragon’s submission pose. I’m begging you, so don’t destroy my yearning towards dragons any further.

No matter how I thought about it, staying here wouldn’t better the situation at all, so in disappointment I left the room.

◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

Instead of returning to the office, I just teleported to the temple on the 5th surface floor.
There are plenty of things that I needed to do besides the dragon summoning, but I’m feeling really discouraged.
Laying down on the canopy bed in my room, I hugged my pillow and buried my face in it.

“Anri-sama?”

Hearing a lisping voice call out to me, I… had a look without looking that way. Apparently Lili had been in my room reading a book. She’s sharing a room with Tena, but lately Tena’s been busy and can’t look after her, so Lili’s been spending a lot of time in my room. I didn’t notice she was here, so I showed her something a little uncool.
I got up and was about to turn to Lili and reply, when I hesitated because I had no idea what to say.
Perhaps she noticed because Lili closed the book she had been reading, and then trotted up to me from the table.

“Anri-sama, what’s wrong? Are you sad?”

Apparently she realised my depressed atmosphere.
She asked me that while patting my head, so my eyes grew a little hot.

“It’s fine, there was just something a little sad.”

I soothed Lili, and patted her chestnut hair back. Lili narrowed her eyes comfortably.
I was finding Lili’s actions lovely, when I suddenly noticed that she still had her collar, and unconsciously frowned.
She hasn’t been blessed with my divine protection the same way Tena has, so she’s still a human. That’s fine in and of itself, but the problem is that she’s still a slave. When I became a divine, Tena joined the Apostle Race as well and was freed from her slave status. I considered that the same thing might happen if I gave Lili my divine protection as well, but there’s the possibility that apostles are immortal, so I was hesitant to change her at her current age.
If I can learn to use my 『Authorities』 decently, then I think I’ll be able to release her from being a slave without changing her from a human, but it’s impossible at the moment.

I removed my eyes from her collar, and spoke to her after changing gears.

“Are you studying, Lili?”

“Yeah, I was reading the book.”

“Good girl. I’ll read it out to you.”

“Really!?”

It would probably be better as study for her to read a book herself, but just a little bit as thanks for cheering me up should be okay.
Finding it charming that Lili’s eyes were glittering in excitement, I nodded in reply. It feels that my heart that had splintered from that shocking event was now being healed.

“What kind of book were you reading?”

“This.”

Lili held out the book that she had been reading.
I looked at the title of the book.

『The Girl and the Dragon』

No more.


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The Bathroom Goddess – Chapter 7

Red, pink, yellow and green. These small and vibrant beanbags were made from lots of small cloth pieces sewn together, and when you tossed them they would roll in a dizzying array of colours.
Normally, even simply playing with  beanbags would feel more difficult when you were sitting in a bath, with hot water up past your waist.
There were six hahanero beanbags. When Izumi had heard that they would prevent mould she eagerly chose them, but her shoulders were now drooped in realisation of her own thoughtlessness. Although the hahanero was dried, they were still ground spices. Izumi realised that a bathroom would immediately fill with moisture. She had considered preserving them in something airtight, but then that would be meaningless. Prepared for one of them to become ruined, she left it in a bucket, but fortunately, right now it still felt the same as always.
It was about time to try adding another one.

Just as she was about to put another beanbag in, the moment she reached out for the bucket, the window quietly opened.

On her seventh try, the shock had become weak.

Feeling something akin to ‘This again?’, Izumi looked towards the window.

Brown hair that reached past the shoulders, and mysteriously coloured purple-grey eyes; there stood a child with an androgyny that made them seem like both a boy and a girl.

A medallion that hung from the neck to the stomach now shone in reflection of the bathroom light.

The child surveyed the bathroom with terribly cold eyes, looked at Izumi, and then scoffed.

“A witch, huh. You are too far past your prime to tempt me. Try again.”

“HAHH!?”

With the beanbag in her hand, Izumi stood up.

“Who the heck is supposed to be a witch. Even if somebody begged me I wouldn’t tempt a cheeky brat like you.”

“A sore loser huh. What manner of being could invade this tower but a witch.”

“A company employee!”

Seeing the sneering child―――who was apparently a boy―――Izumi threw out her chest and answered. And then came back to her senses.

No matter how detestable child a he might have been, her appearance was unacceptable. Izumi looked down at her own body and paled.

The first time she had been in such shock at having her window connected to some strange world that she didn’t really feel embarrassed. The second time she was wearing clothing, and as for the third time, although she felt a little self-conscious she immediately broke past it. After all, they were all people she would never see again. There wasn’t any real problem in being seen. That was how she had begun to feel. But when it came to a child, that was a different matter. As an adult who ought to be setting a role-model, it was embarrassing to be standing chest high, legs apart in the nude.

“H-, Hang on a little.”

Leaving the beanbag on the windowsill, she headed into the changing room.

After wrapping a bath towel around her body and hurriedly heading back to the bathroom, she found that the boy had taken the beanbag in hand and was staring at it curiously.

“…Do you like it?”

The boy suddenly averted his gaze from the beanbag.

“Of course not.”

Really?
Even as he spat out “Who would like this kind of thing?” he still held onto it tightly.

“If you want it, I’ll give it to you. As an apology for surprising you.”

Saying that while sitting on the edge of the bathtub, she was glared at by the boy.

“I wasn’t surprised.”

It was true that when they saw each other, the boy hadn’t shown a surprised expression. Izumi inwardly praised the boy’s firm guts for not being surprised despite a naked woman suddenly appearing.

Although the boy’s navy jacket was a little dirty, it was finely embroidered. From that, you could tell at a glance that it was probably expensive. Even the shirt beneath was decently strong, and gleamed like silk. He was also wearing form-fitting beige pants, and high-laced leather boots. It was an outfit like that of a noble boy from long ago.

Izumi returned her gaze to the boy’s face.

“Well, isn’t it fine? I still have some, so I’ll give you that one.”

“And what do you want in exchange? My lifespan? My seed?”

Izumi winced at the boy’s scornful gaze.

“I told you that I wasn’t a witch, didn’t I. What the heck do you mean ‘seed’? Hurry up and drop that kind of idea already.”

“Look, I’m not even naked any more.” she said, as she pointed at the towel. The boy snorted again.

“Aren’t you only covering your breast and waist.”

“No, well, yeah you’re right but… I’m covering all the places that need covering, so isn’t it fine…”

Mumbling a reply, Izumi realised that she was a disadvantage, so her gaze loitered around behind the boy instead.

The first thing that entered her vision was the huge number of paper rolls around the room. Some stuffed in a basket, some leant against the wall, some laying on the floor. The boy’s room was filled with them.

The next thing she noticed was the light that illuminated those papers. When she bent forward and looked up to find the source of it, she found that about three meters up the wall were countless 10cm rectangular holes. Turning her gaze even further up, she saw a dome-shaped ceiling.

When she looked back down again, Izumi sighed in wonder. The entire room, ceiling included, had been built from stone. The stone became larger and larger the further down they were, and by the time it reached the floor, the stones were easily larger than a person could hold.

There was a large, thick desk in the middle of the room, as well as chests and benches lined up by the wall. Beneath their feet was a rug of complicated and detailed designs, and although it was showy, it brought about a solid sense of dignity to the room.

There was a large black hole at the edge of the carpet. Looking closely, Izumi realised that they were stairs that led to the lower floors.

Izumi’s heart danced with excitement at this room that gave the feeling of being in an ancient castle.

“What are you thinking, smirking like that, you damned witch.”

Izumi looked at the boy who had sunk her exhilarated heart to ground with just his one line.

Catching sight of the beanbag in his hand, Izumi snickered.

Stretching her hand into the bucket, she picked up two beanbags.

“I got these beanbags the other day. Do you know how to play with them?”

“I don’t.” brusquely replied the boy. In her mind, Izumi pumped her fist in victory.

“Big sis will show you how.”

Like this, showed Izumi, as she tossed the beanbag above her head. While the beanbag was in the air, she moved the other beanbag from her left hand to her right, before throwing that in the air as well. After Izumi repeated this a number of times, she called out to the boy.

“I wonder if you can do it too,” she said in a babying voice. “It looks easy, but it’s difficult until you know the trick to it, you know.”

The boy turned sullen, and looked at the beanbag resting on his palm.

“Aren’t you just tossing it. I can do that much.”

Just as he said, the boy tossed the beanbag into the air. Despite that, or perhaps just as expected, the beanbag went too high, and while the boy was focused on catching it, he did nothing with the beanbag in his left hand.

“Hohohohoho,” resounded Izumi’s laughter. “You really are just tossing it huh. There’s no point in having two of them in that case.”

The boy wordlessly tossed the beanbag into the air again. This time to a good height. But when he tried to move the beanbag from his left hand to his right, it fell.

“Seee? It’s difficult, isn’t it. Shall I tell you the trick to it?”

Izumi crossed her arms, and leant on the windowsill.

“Unnecessary.”

The boy once again tossed the beanbag. He managed both the right height, and the move from his left hand to his right. He managed to catch the falling beanbag in his left hand too. But he stopped there.

“Oh? you did it. But there’s no point if you stop there.” said Izumi sarcastically.

“I’ll show you this time.”

The boy had completely taken it seriously.

He tossed a beanbag, and changed another from his left hand to his right. Catching the first in his left hand, he tossed up the one in his right. After clumsily repeating it a number of times, in no time, his movements began to become smooth.

“How’s this.”

Seeing the boy declare so triumphantly, Izumi bore with the urge to burst into laughter.

“Still a long way to go. Next is doing it with one hand.”

Izumi tossed and caught two beanbags with her right hand.

The boy tried imitating her, and tossed the beanbag.

Although it took more time than last time, the boy had mastered it one-handed, and was now tossing them easily.

Izumi began adding beanbags from the bucket.

“Next is three.”

Izumi tossed them carefully so that they wouldn’t fall in the bath. The beanbags flew into the air, one by one. Just how many years had it been since she had enjoyed herself by doing this seriously? She recalled how as a child she became frustrated with it, and single-mindedly practising.

Seeing the sore loser of a boy struggle with three beanbags, Izumi was finally unable to bear it, and burst into laughter.

A beanbag flew from the hand of the surprised boy, and fell into the table.

He glared at Izumi.

“What’s so amusing?”

“No, it’s just that at first I thought you weren’t like a child at all, but when you’re playing like that, you really are a child, huh.”

For a moment, the boy’s glare intensified. But then he immediately looked towards the fallen beanbag, and suddenly laughed.

“Witches sure have a lot of spare time, huh. You came all the way here to play with me? What’s fun about playing with children?”

His words were harsh, but his tone had softened quite a bit.

“It seems like the third will take a while for me.”

The boy picked up the beanbag from atop the table. In that moment, a paper that had been spread over the table fell to the ground.

Drifting left and right as it fell, it flew close to the window, and Izumi hurriedly caught it. It would be terrible for it to fall in the bath.

“This dropped.”

Seeing the paper as she was about to hand it to the boy, Izumi’s eyes widened.

“This is…”

“It’s a map, and…?”

The boy tilted his head.

Izumi paid no heed to the boy’s puzzled gaze, and looked hard at the paper in her hands.

On the paper was something like a fat and rounded cross. The cross itself was broken into various parts, with words written on it.

“What an interesting shape. Hey, whereabouts is this place on the map?”

The boy peered in on the map.

“If I said that we were in Ii’Jibro, would you understand?”

“Nope, not at all.”

The boy looked at Izumi, dumbfounded.

“Are witches unable to read maps?” he asked, as he pointed to a red portion, a little distance below the middle of the cross.

“Ii’Jibro is this red portion.”

“I see.” nodded Izumi.

If each colour represented a nation, then it made this quite an extensive map.

In that case, there might be some of the countries that she knew. Izumi dug out from her memory the names of the countries spoken by the people she had met.

“Is Yohk’Zai on the map?”

“Here,” pointed the boy, to a spot to Ii’Jibro’s upper-right. It was close by.

“Huhu.” laughed Izumi, as she recalled Teo Keh’s large belly. She wondered if he managed to meet the stranded man in blue.

“What about Triht?”

Following with another question, the boy plucked out the map from Izumi’s hand.

“Hey!” she complained. “I still wanted to look. What are you doing?”

As though finding it troublesome, the boy spoke as he rolled up the map.

“Stand up, and stretch out your arms.”

“Eh?”

“I’ll teach you how to remember the map. Just stand up and spread your arms.”

It wasn’t like she particularly wanted to learn geography.

But since he was willing to teach her, and she couldn’t think of any reason to refuse, Izumi stood up in the bath and spread both arms.

“Listen up. Your right breast is Yohk’Zai. Your neck is Triht, and your head is the country ruled by the dragons, and the country rumoured to be a paradise, Jebas. Under your right breast near your liver is Ii’Jibro. Crowded near your left breast are a lot of small countries. Near the biceps of your right arm is Insen, from your elbow to your wrist is Uchu, and your hand is Kouzen. Your left bicep is Sunayu, and from your left elbow to your wrist is Dohji. And then…”

“Wait!”

With the boy continuing on and on, Izumi asked him to stop.

“It’s impossible, I can’t remember all that. I’m fine just knowing where Yohk’Zai and Triht are.”

They were all the names of completely unfamiliar countries after all. Izumi’s hippocampus was already screaming in defeat.

The boy laughed.

“You’re quite different from the witches in the legends. Are you really a witch?”

Apparently the laughing boy didn’t hear Izumi say “No, like I said, I’m not a witch.”.

After laughing for a while, the boy walked to the wall and tossed the map into one of the baskets.

The light coming in from above had changed to the light of the evening.

The stone room was wrapped in a dim red light, and gave warmth to the cold and inorganic stones.

If she was a witch, then the boy walking through the rays of light was like a fairy, thought Izumi.

“What an elegant room. Did you say this was a tower?”

The boy nodded at Izumi’s murmur.

“Indeed. People call it the Tower of the Silent Sinner.”

“…That’s quite the name.”

Since the name seemed to have quite a background, Izumi’s face stiffened.

Now that she had heard the name, she couldn’t help but see this elegant castle room as a prison to cage in a criminal. But for a prison, its furnishings were much too luxurious. After tilting her head in wonder for a while, Izumi muttered “Ahh.” and nodded. If she took this to be a prison to cage in those of high status, then everything fit. For example, like the boy in front of her…

“Could it be that you’re imprisoned in here?”

She wanted him to deny it. There was no way she could overlook something as cruel as imprisoning a child in a tower. But Izumi had no power to help him. Even if she sheltered him on her side, his prison would just be changed to this small bathroom instead.

“Indeed.”

Izumi’s hopes were easily betrayed.

The boy nodded as though it were no big deal.

“Did you commit some sort of wrongdoing? And so they locked you up here for a day?” asked Izumi, hoping for the best.

“It’s almost been a year since I was put in here.”

Izumi didn’t know what to say any more.

A small laugh reached Izumi’s ears as she hung her head.

She raised her face to find that the boy was looking at her with a self-mocking smile, unsuited for a child his age.

“I was unable to stop my father from marrying a woman who hid her ugliness and desire under her beauty, and following his death, my step-mother easily took the power from me. I suppose you could say that was my wrongdoing.”

She knew why he was so calm now.

He had surely experienced a harsh life that she couldn’t even imagine. No, even now, he was in the middle of that kind of life. Even though he was still a child young enough to take juggling seriously, he was hurriedly trying to grow up.

“Don’t you have any way to leave here? If there’s anything I can help with…”

Izumi cut her words short. Even if he did escape, wouldn’t it just be endangering his life?

The boy looked up at the sky, through the tiny, tiny holes.

“Long ago, back in Ii’Jibro’s most prosperous era, the king in those days, the Wise King, was said to have created this tower. One day, the strong and intelligent king was out in town when he heard a beautiful singing voice. The owner of the voice was a beautiful girl, and the king had his heart taken by her at first sight. But the girl had both husband and child. The girl refused the king, and the king flew into a rage. He killed the husband, took the children, and created a tower to imprison the girl. So that the girl was unable to escape, he locked the tower, and always kept the key by him. Since the day she was imprisoned in the tower, in her deep sadness, the girl never let out a single sound. But the king didn’t try to understand the girl’s grief. Each day he came to the tower to visit the beloved girl, and he neglected his duties as a king. Ii’Jibro was on the road to decline… There are theories that in the end the king killed the girl and ended his own life, as well as theories about the children coming to save their mother. The key that the foolish king kept with him is this one.”

The boy held up the medallion hanging from his neck. The sounds of the thin chain rang out.

“Eh? That’s the key? Why do you have it?”

“In the days of the Wise King, they had techniques far beyond our current ones. Locking the door doesn’t require the key. The only key is this one, and you can only unlock it from outside. She probably wanted me to taste despair. Before that woman closed the door, she smiled and threw this in at me. Even if my step-mother dies, I won’t ever be able to step outside again.”

“That can’t be…”

Izumi looked up at the hole above her.

“What about that hole!?”

The boy shook his head.

“The key is larger. It’s impossible.”

“What about your food? You’ve been stuck here for a whole year, so there should be a window or door for the food, right?”

“Why do you think all the books here are curled up?”

Izumi caught her breath.

“…Because the only holes are small enough that only curled paper can go through?”

It felt to Izumi like the boy nodded in slow motion.

How cruel. What a cruel thing to do with a child like this.

“My life here isn’t bad enough to grieve about. I have a water well downstairs, and there is sewage disposal as well. I have meals brought to me three times a day, and as you can see I have books to kill time.”

If only it hadn’t been impossible to leave the bathroom, then the boy could have lived freely, even if in a different world…
Izumi stood there wordlessly. And then the boy suddenly took the key from his neck.

“Witch. Come a little closer.”

Izumi did as she was told.

The boy passed Izumi’s neck through the chains with the key.

“I had fun. This is my thanks.”

Before Izumi could tell him to wait, the boy shut the window.


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Bathroom Goddess is getting an LN

So yeah. WN is getting taken down on the same day that EGA is getting released, but I’ll save them to my hdd, so no worries.

If anybody wants to give me money to buy the EGA, Bathroom Goddess or Tilea novels simply because I’m amazing (lol), have an amazing personality (lolol) and they love me, please leave me a comment, and I’ll get back to you (to take away your money).

I promise to finish the Bathroom goddess and EGA web novel translations at least. (:

Tilea’s Worries – Chapter 18

A circle (サークル;saakuru) in Japan is a term for a common-interest club.


Chapter 18 – The Demonic Evil Three are coming to pick a fight

“Tilea-sama! Tilea-sama!”

I heard Pervert(Nielsen)’s loud shouts, early in the morning. As for me, I was in the restaurant kitchen, sighing as I looked at the pot that was boiling over.

“So this is where you were, Tilea-sama. There is grave news! The Demonic Evil Three are――”

“Not, ‘grave news’ damnittttt!”

No sooner had Pervert(Nielsen) come had I grabbed his face in one hand. And as though it were an iron claw, I began conspicuously squeezing his face with my hand.

“GUOHHHH! A-, As expect of Tilea-sama… Y-, Your great strength is in good heal, th.”

Despite suffering, Pervert(Nielsen) skilfully praised me.

Hahh~ Honestly, this guy is…

I had instructed Pervert(Nielsen) to “stop the fire when the pot boils”; something that even children in primary school would know. But apparently this idiot had left the pot alone and run off somewhere.
What “Grave news, Tilea-sama!”. I don’t care if it’s Demonic Evils, or Ebonic Weevils, but the shop is more important!

What should I do for today’s training?

And I need to open to the store in about an hour too…

I won’t make it if I need to make the stock from scratch again. Should I just throw Pervert(Nielsen) into the pot and make Pervert(Nielsen) stock?

I’m so angry that it feels like I’ll destroy Pervert(Nielsen). I’ll beat Pervert(Nielsen)’s head in, and then… No good, no good. What kind of crazy things am I thinking about now. I have to hurry up and chant the magic spell!

Pervert(Nielsen) is a chuunibyou so it cannot be helped. Pervert(Nielsen) is a chuunibyou so it cannot be helped.――It cannot be helped.

……
…………
………………

Alright, I’ve somehow got my anger under control.

Phew, can’t be helped. I’ll explain to dad, and explain to the customers that we’ll be opening a little late. I’m cleaning up after Pervert(Nielsen) again. Honestly, I can’t even leave you to watch the pot, can I!

I’ve pretty much run out of anything I think I can entrust to him. I glared at him, saying “Honestly…” with my eyes. Pervert(Nielsen) seemed to have something he wanted to say as well.

He was looking at me with sad eyes like an abandoned puppy desperately appealing to his owner.

…Guess it can’t be helped. Although the possibility is infinitely close to zero, there might really be something terrible happening. I guess I’ll give him a chance to explain why he was ditching work.

“Well? What’s this grave news? I expect that it’s something urgent enough that you neglected your work, yes?”

“Yes Milady. I deserve ten thousand deaths for running counter to your commands. However, it was a problem that required emergency measures. Although it was presumptuous of me, I gave my judgement priority and left the shop to confirm the intelligence.”

Hahh? Is this guy trying to use Sun Tzu’s “A general on the field shall not obey his sovereign.” or something? Are you trying to use that convenient interpretation to continue to skip work!

The anger that I had kept down exploded outwards again.

No, wait. Wait. Maybe I should just listen to the end first. I need to let him finish reciting his death haiku, after all.

“Well then, specifically speaking, what is this problem that required emergency measures?”

“Milady. It seems that Hidler unsealed the Demonic Evil Three. It is likely that they will attack in the near future.”

Goodness. Somebody is coming to complain to Timu yet again…?

Just the other day was Garm, and this time it’s the Demonic Evil Three? And yet again, quite a chuuni-esque name. Honestly, even though I had thought we’d basically solved the problem with Garm’s incident…

But, it can’t be helped. There’s no way to deal with claimants except to talk to them one by one. You might even be able to clear up their feelings of ill reserve by talking to them. Even that Garm guy started off with pranks, but it seems that they made up in the end.

Gyangu, was it?

Apparently Timu was given Garm’s pet. As a symbol of apology, I suppose. If he even gave his beloved dog away, I wonder just how close they’ve gotten.

The Demonic Evil Three…

So it’s three people this time? I wonder what kind of people they are?

“Niel. What kind of people are those Demonic Evil Three?”

“They are group with cruel and ferocious natures. Because they were so lawless, Demon King Zorg sealed them away himself.”

“Can I take that to mean that they did nothing but outrageous things and were expelled from the Demon King Army?”

“Indeed. Only, they were not expelled, but sealed.”

“Yes, yes, sealed was it? So why did this sealed group suddenly come back?”

“Starting with Camilla-sama’s secession from the Demon King Army, they then lost Killer, and then Garm. The Demon King Army was continuing in a weakening direction. It was likely an act of desperation on Hidler’s part.”

EH!? Killer-san and Garm quit as well!?

Ahh~ But after all these troubles happened, I guess they didn’t feel too good about it either. Although they made up with Timu, they might have gotten tired of dealing with other people. To begin with, people who quit a circle always do so with this kind of timing.

I see. When Timu left the Demon King Army, all of Timu’s praetorian guard quit together, so the “Let’s pretend to be the Demon King Army” gathering lost a lot of people.

Then Killer-san, and even Garm quit as well, so the gathering was on the verge of being called off. At that point, Hidler-san reluctantly decided to call back the expelled members I guess. But if that gentle Hidler-san ‘sealed them’ by the name of the Demon King, in other words, expelled them from the circle, then they must’ve done something pretty bad.

I wonder what on earth they did.

An image is coming to mind…

『Yo, yo, we’re the fearsome Demonic Evil Three. -PARARIKOPARARIKO-

『Mama, there are some strange people.』

『Miya-chan, you mustn’t look at them!』

『Geez~ What’s with those guys? They’ll wake up the babies!』

『There are houses around. Don’t kick up so much dust. You’ll get the laundry dirty!』

『Demonic Evil Three; you’ll cause trouble to other people. Please act with prudence.』

『Heh! Get with the act, Hidler! We’re the atrocious Demon King Army, yanno.』

『Yeah, yeah! Let’s go even faster! We’ll touch the skies!
-VROOM VROOM-

Probably something like that. I think I have a pretty good idea for now.

――So they exist in this world as well! No, of course they do. Those type of people pop up no matter where you go. A bunch that lack common sense and just cause trouble to society…

The Demonic Evil three are delinquents; the so-called ‘DQN'(dokyun).

“In other words, they’re dokyun.”

“Oneesama, what is this ‘dokyun’?”

Oh! At some point Timu joined our conversation as well. Good timing. Since she’s a related party, I’ll explain dokyun to Timu as well.

“You see, in my past life, ‘dokyun’ is what we called lawless scum.”

“A perfect fit for the Demonic Evil Three, isn’t it.”

“Yep. These troublesome kids existed in my past life as well, and we really didn’t know what to do with them. Honestly, they popped up everywhere.”

“T-, There were that many of these powerful beings in your old world!?”

Pervert(Nielsen) asked in shock. You don’t have to be that surprised. They’re people that pop up in every world, right?

“Yeah, heaps and heaps. There were so many that they popped up absolutely everywhere.”

“As expected of Oneesama! To have battled each day with such powerful beings!”

“Indeed. I am always amazed and in admiration of Tilea-sama’s mighty strength.”

Honestly, they were so troublesome. Late at night they’d loiter in huge numbers around the convenience store. In the middle of the night they’d ride past with their thunderous modified motorbikes. And they’d beat and kick and mug anybody they had an eye on.

Just now much of my Dark Matter funds were lost because of dokyun!

The unpleasant memories from my old life came to mind.

I see. In that case, it is as grave a matter as Nielsen said. There’s a need to make sure of it even at the cost of work. So even Pervert(Nielsen) can be useful on occasion.

“It certainly was a grave matter. Niel, well done in reporting it to me.”

“I am extremely and humbly delighted for your honourable understanding.”

A group of dokyun are coming to complain about Timu’s withdrawal. No, their aim is probably something else. I’m sure that once they found out that Timu was a bishoujo, their real intention was to come start some trouble with her.

That’s definitely it. You dokyun bastards, I won’t let you lay a single finger on my cute sister!

I need a plan, don’t I. First, I can’t let mum and dad be troubled, so I want to deal with this before it affects the store.

Plan Number 1. Rely on Remilia-san.

Remilia-san is an S-ranked adventurer, as well as the a member of the national public safety force. Honestly speaking, one or two dokyun would be a piece of cake to Remilia-san.
But the main problem with this plan was whether or not the public safety force would even bother with such a small incident. Honestly speaking, it’s probably impossible. If it was a huge incident that affected the country then it would be another matter, but they wouldn’t even listen to an issue about delinquents coming to complain. At best, they would tell me to “go have a talk with your town guards”.

Plan Number 2. Rely on Loser(Bizef).

In my mind, Loser(Bizef)’s stock is on a nose-dive. But Loser(Bizef) is a former adventurer. He’s like the police in this town. Leaving his actual strength aside, his authority is splendid. If he told the dokyun who he was and threatened them with “I’ll arrest you!”, the dokyun might become obedient. But Bizef is a loser. If he fainted before he gave them a warning, it would be completely meaningless.

…No, no. It’s fine, it’ll be fine. Even though it was just an illusion, he still fainted because it was a dragon. He wouldn’t faint to a bunch of delinquents; a bunch of dokyun, right?
Probably. I really want to believe so.

Plan Number 3. Talk it out with the dokyun.

Well, it’d be a frontal approach, huh. Pervert(Nielsen) and I would confront them and negotiate. But a sincere and earnest attitude wouldn’t work on them. On the contrary, showing them that kind of attitude would just get us taken advantage of. We need to show our power while we negotiate. Right. While negotiating, we need to make them think ‘These guys are trouble. We’ll be in for a painful time. I don’t want to get involved with them anymore.’.

In the end, Plan Number 1 is impossible to carry out. We’ll go with Plan Number 2. If that fails, then I guess we’ll go with Plan Number 3. Also, I guess the last thing I need to know is how strong they are? Well, they wouldn’t be as strong as an adventurer, but they definitely have as much strength as the delinquents in our town.

Our war power consists of me, Pervert(Nielsen), Loser(Bizef), and Timu.

First of all, “me”…

I’ve been training my body through cooking ever since I was young. I think that I’d be above average in a one-on-one fight with the town delinquents. Only, I don’t think I’d have much confidence if there was more than one. I mean, my specs are still that of a 17 year old girl.

Next is “Pervert(Nielsen)”…

His enthusiasm is always great, but his strength is on the level of a primary schooler. I’m sure he’ll be taken down in one hit by a dokyun. Since his appearance is that of a dandy old gentleman, I really can’t help but feel regret. Anyway, he can’t be counted on in a fight, in other words. He’s just here to make us look bigger.

Next is Loser(Bizef)…

Recently I found out that he was a joke adventurer. His only redeeming feature is that he was a C-ranked adventurer, and his current position as the chief of the town guard. It would be perfect if the dokyun were scared by his title. But if they’re the type that go “The cops ain’t nothin’!” and act cool, then it’d have the opposite effect. And what’s more, if they found out how weak Loser(Bizef) actually was, then the dokyun would get cockier and cockier. He really wouldn’t be helpful.

Finally, “Timu”…

She can use magic, and she’s pretty fast on her feet too. Among our group, she seems like she’d be the most useful. If we had her hide in the back, then she could fire off magic as a distraction when the time comes.
But I don’t want her to be in danger. I guess it really would be best to have her stay at home, while I go with just Pervert(Nielsen) and Loser(Bizef).

Huhu, what’s with this? Just thinking about it makes me want to cry. Aren’t I the most reliable one right now?


“A general on the field shall not obey his sovereign.”
Basically a saying that states that in a war, the general onsite should be the one who makes the decisions, as the monarch in the capital has already entrusted said general with the task. Accredited to Sun Tzu.


<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter

Kitaseno-sensei’s comments on EGA Cover Illustration

Thank you as always for your support.
This is Kitaseno Yunaki.

The illustration drawn by Yuzuki Kihiro-sama has been released on the Official Narou Contest website!
The splendidness of this illustration is better seen than described, so it would probably be faster if you saw it for yourself, don’t you think?
*imouto*
書籍版「邪神アベレージ」最新情報掲載ページ
*imouto*
Now then, for those of you who have seen the cover illustration, there is a little quiz I would like to give you.
*imouto*
*imouto*
Q:Who is the protagonist of this series?
*imouto*
*imouto*
Yes, it’s Anri-san, isn’t it.
Well then, about Anri-san’s position on the cover illustration, please take one more look.
*imouto*
*imouto*
*imouto*
Anri-san? No matter how you look at is, she has the
LAST BOSS’ POSITION.
*imouto*
*imouto*
Normally on the cover, the protagonist or heroine stand at the front, but Anri-san is at the very back… in other words, in the background. The way this is drawn can only be said to be outside of the norm.
When I was first handed the illustration drawn by Yuzuki-sama, I thought in disappointment;
*imouto*
*imouto*
These people really understand!
*imouto*
Eh? Wasn’t I disappointed with the illustration?
It’s more of a “Damn, they really got me.” sort of meaning.
*imouto*
*imouto*
Now then, please look at the last boss’Anri-san’s eyes.
She’s a normal bishoujo isn’t she. Both dignified and beautiful isn’t she.
*imouto*
To those of you who see this and think, “Huh. She doesn’t look mean at all. What a let down.” I say this to you… How naive.
*imouto*
This is her normal mode, or in other words, her this-is-how-she looks-once-it’s-been-through-a-camera-and-picture form.
As for a picture drawn to the image of what somebody who had seen her in the eyes pictures her as…
Unfortunately, people would get angry if I revealed too much, so I shall end the spoilers here.
If you want to see, please buy the book and check for yourself. (Shameless advertising.)
*imouto*
*imouto*
Incidentally, with Anri-san stuck in the last boss position, the delicious parts were taken by Miss Leonora.
*imouto*
*imouto*
I actually wanted to comment on the spine, and the back cover and stuff as well, but because they weren’t released publicly, please wait for the real thing.


TL Note: You better buy the damn book.

Buying LNs (Otoburi, Tilea, EGA)

CDJapan boasts an English interface, and pretty cheap prices.

I’m not sure why it never occurred to me to update the links, seeing as I’ve been using it for ages now, but well, I’m changing the links now.

Link to the LN on Otoburi will be updated. Link to the recently released Tilea LN adaptation will be put up. Next month when EGA releases, I will put up a link for that as well.

Otoburi
Tilea

Holy Anri Nation

The Theocracy of Holy Anri Nation is a fledgling, orderly nation, renowned for its absence of drug laws, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 5 million Holy Anri Nationians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as “my little playthings.”

The enormous, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Welfare, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 75.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The imploded Holy Anri Nationian economy, worth 22.0 billion Anris a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Pizza Delivery, Automobile Manufacturing, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 4,405 Anris, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Holy Anri Nation’s national animal is the Anri, which frolics freely in the nation’s many lush forests.

https://www.nationstates.net/nation=holy_anri_nation
https://www.nationstates.net/nation=alyschu_empire

Book of God – 06

I can’t think of a way to adapt this in this instance, but it’s a very common phrase in Japanese, so I may as well teach you guys:

A warm gaze, is the same as in English, but a lukewarm gaze means like, mildly disapproving.
Like, the gaze that you’d give when the only friend in your group with a girlfriend is flirting in front of you, or when you realise that one of your friends is a complete miser, or when one of your friends is vehemently cheering on some idol during the AKB elections.
Like, it’s not a warm gaze, but it isn’t a cold gaze either.
It’s sort of just like “Bro…” or “For real…?” or “Mate…”, you know?

(Although I suppose some people might give a terribly cold gaze for the last one.)


Chapter 6 – On That Day, a Quake Ran Through the World

“Administration.”

I used my skill as an Administrator for the first time.
When I activated the skill, a menu-like window appeared before me.

Menu: Authority Activation
M*nu: Intelligence Perusal
M*nu: Divine Enchantment
M*nu: Divine Revelation

It was pretty simple for a god’s power, but considering my talk the other day with the Light God and Dark God, the power of the Divine Race is probably concentrated in 『Authority Activation』.
『Intelligence Perusal』 was just as the titles suggested, the ability to know about things that happened, and things that were happening. As you’d expect, even a divine wouldn’t be able to gather information on the future, and in the end the only information you could browse were on the past and present.
『Divine Enchantment』 was the act of handing out the power of a god to other people in the form of divine protection… but apparently it was no different from the Divine Enchantment skill. If I really had to say it, then apparently it wouldn’t bestow divine protection against my will, but I had no use for it anyway. In fact, I would prefer a way to undo the divine protections already out there.

And so, this time the one that I would be using was 『Divine Revelation』──an ability for transmitting words to your followers.
It was honestly pretty dull…
No, I mean, if it’s the Light God or the Dark God then it might be an ability that transmits their words across the continent, but most of my believers are inside the temple, so there isn’t much point. I could use my powers as the dungeon master to transmit my will after all, and although I wouldn’t be too keen on it, it wasn’t as though I couldn’t tell them directly either. Actually, let me revise that; it isn’t “there isn’t much point” but “there’s absolutely no point”.
But well, even if there isn’t, the other two gods are using Divine Revelation, so (although I’m not sure if I have any,) it’s sort of an issue of dignity. That’s why I had to take the same method.
I picked the middle entry on the menu and muttered,

“Divine Revelation.”

◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

“What do you mean by “dungeon”?”

“I don’t really get it, but you better not be talkin’ outta your ass.”

The two gods gave me extremely distrustful replies.
I know how they feel; right now I’m regretting it, wondering to myself what the heck I was saying. If I had to give an excuse, the meeting was really long, so I was mentally worn out.
But now that I’d already said it, it didn’t feel like a situation where I could take it back. I’ll force my way forward.

“Before I joined the Divine Race, I created a 31-floor dungeon, that still hasn’t been conquered yet. If the humans conquer it, then Light God Sophia wins. If the demons conquer it, then the win goes to Dark God Anbaal. If it remains uncaptured within a certain amount of time, then it’s my win.”

It was just a random idea, but I think it sounds surprisingly good.
Leonora, and the Hero Party from a while ago; both were close to the strongest tier within their own races, and neither could conquer even half of the dungeon. I don’t think a person that can conquer this dungeon exists in either race. Although, rather than pure ability, I’m talking more about the level of meatheadedness.
There’s also the huge benefit of not fighting the Light God and Dark God directly. Since I’m lacking in direct combat experience, I’ll be at a disadvantage no matter what, but if I use this method then my opponents will be the human and demon races, so my handicap mostly decreases.

“Ohh…? Ain’t that sound interesting.”

“You intend on involving the Human Race into our conflict?”

The Dark God seemed like he’d agree, but the Light God showed disapproval at my idea. Because the Human Race is something to be protected for her, so she probably wanted to avoid exposing them to danger due to her own circumstances. Well, the Dark God should be the same in that aspect, but I guess it’s just a difference in personality.

“It’s going to determine the management of the world, so it’s not somebody else’s business.”

“…I understand. Very well. I agree. Anbaal, how about you?”

“I’m fine.”

Alright, both of them are on board. What’s left is to figure out the rules in detail.

*imouto*

*imouto*

After that, we discussed things little by little, and worked out a set of rules. Unlike the discussion about the 『Authorities』 we had in the beginning, this conversation went much more smoothly.

*imouto*

  1. The match is in regards to who can conquer the dungeon “Holy Ground of the Evil God”. If the humans conquer it, then Light God Sophia wins. If the demons conquer it, then the win goes to Dark God Anbaal. If it remains uncaptured within a certain amount of time, then the winner is Evil God Anri.
    In addition, ‘conquering’ is defined as being the first to touch the Proof of Capture on the 31st floor.
  2. The winning Administrator gains the right to allocate the Sub-Authorities. However, they will do so with the balance of all three Administrators in mind.
  3. The length of the match is 1 year.
  4. The use of Authorities to directly aid or hinder the capture of the dungeon is prohibited.
  5. During the duration of the match, Evil God Anri will not add additional floors.
  6. During the duration of the match, Evil God anri will not summon additional monsters. However, a single dragon is permitted.
  7. Evil God Anri will take all care possible that no fatalities will occur amongst the human and demon challengers.
  8. Light God Sophia, as well as Dark God Anbaal will prohibit the Human Race and Demon Race respectively from committing acts of aggression or subversive activities against the Holy Anri Thearchy for the duration of the match.
  9. Evil God Anri reserves the right to take an entrance fee from the challengers. However, the fee shall not exceed 1 silver coin per challenger, per challenge.

“Such worldiness…”

“You a miser? Oi!”

I hear nothing.

“By 『Proof of Capture』, you mean that? How do I say this… Your taste is pretty fucked, huh.”

“It isn’t like that by choice.”

I stationed the 『Proof of Capture』 on a pillar-shaped pedestal that was in the first room that you arrived at, coming down the stairs from the 30th floor. I’d hate it for them to come into the residential area and mess everything up, so I’m planning on having them teleport outside after taking the 『Proof of Capture』.

“You were awfully fixed on the dragon, but is there some kind of meaning to it?”

“Dragons are romance.”

Various things happened causing me to put it off, but since I had plenty of mana, I wanted to summon the dragon that I’d been dreaming of seeing. And also, it wouldn’t be good for the dungeon’s image if there was no boss for the 30th floor.

I’m kind of getting the feeling that their gazes are getting more and more lukewarm, but it’s probably my imagination.

Also, it’s set in the rules that nobody is allowed to attack or commit subterfuge against us in the confusion. It’d be troubling if they came and invaded after pretending to be here to challenge the dungeon, so it was also a necessary clause, but with this, I was able to postpone the establishment of the country as well. When it comes to creating a nation, I honestly don’t think a 1-year grace period is anywhere near enough, but we don’t have many people, so we should probably be able to get things together to an extent.
Also, the fact that the Light God and Dark God also acknowledged us as a country is probably going to be really meaningful in our international relationships from now on.

◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

Through the revelation, I spoke to every believer in the country.
About the Dark God that most humans weren’t aware of. About the power struggle that had begun between the Light God, the Dark God, and myself. About how in relation to that, people from various countries, as well as the demons would be coming here to challenge the dungeon. And about how our citizens were not to harm the challengers.
Also, I decided not to go out of my way to touch on the fact that our ‘power struggle’ was closer to pushing our workload onto each other. The other two were ordering their races to capture the dungeon with Divine Revelation, and I’m pretty sure they did the same.

It wasn’t in the rules that my citizens couldn’t harm the challengers so they technically could, but I can’t say I’d approve of that, so I decided to forbid it. I’d be troubled if their actions ended up as a dispute after all, and more important than anything was the fact that this was our chance as a nation.

Now that they had been directly instructed by their gods, the humans and demons were probably eager to challenge the dungeon. Since my dungeon fundamentally kicks out the fallen, it’s possible to challenge it again. In that case, it would be natural for challengers to live near the dungeon in order to challenge it. The nearest town is Riemel, but if there was an even closer place to stay, there wouldn’t be any reason not to use it. If we open up inns near the temple, I’m sure we’ll have customers.
I plan on taking the weapons, items and money of the losers just as I’ve always been, so if I open up a shop, and a storage store, I’m sure they’ll be popular. The products for the store can just be things that we’ve taken from them.
It might also be good to sell maps of the dungeon floors, and periodically change things up. Adding floors was forbidden in the rules, but modifying existing floors shouldn’t be a problem. It depends on the pricing, but I should be able to expect a certain amount of income.

Indeed; this match is a chance to acquire foreign currency.
Or rather, to our nation that doesn’t have a major industry, if we don’t do something like this we’ll never be able to be anything more than a self-sufficient village, no matter how much time passes. The management of the country I’m going to leave to Pope and the others as always, but letting this wonderful chance escape would be a terrible move.

That’s why at the end of the revelation, I finished with these words:

“From now on, our nation is to promote tourism as a “Dungeon Town”.”


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「今日のお兄ちゃんはおかしいよ!怖いよ!ッ!?いやだよっ!いやぁ!やめて!やめてぇっ!!」