Chapter 26 – Luxembourg’s Secret Manoeuvring

Demon General Luxembourg was standing on the Beruga Plains. She had been watching the earlier battle with great interest.

“Fighting head-on with the Evil God? Are they idiots? In a battle you have to hit their weak point, see? Aren’t I like, super smart?”

Luxembourg was aiming to profit in the aftermath of their battle.

But first I’d better thank them for these wounds.

Using her incredible sense of smell and vision, she searched for the Demonic Evil Three.

“Gotcha!”

Seiryuu and Byakko were passing through the plains on the backs of their mounts. Going ahead to intersect their path, Luxembourg lay in wait in a bush to the side.

The wind was blowing. Based on their positions, the mounts wouldn’t notice her.

After a few minutes, the mounts passed by Luxembourg without noticing her…

“Huhu, where you going♪”

With measured timing, Luxembourg leapt out and aimed a powerful kick at the mounts. The mounts were struck by an incredible force, and were blown back along with their riders.

The mounts were a few hundred kilos each. Even so, they had been blown back dozens of metres. That alone told of the kick’s tremendous power.

“GAHHH!”

The mounts stood unsteadily, and roared to try and protect their fallen masters. Despite their broken legs and damaged fangs, they pressured Luxembourg.

“How silly. You should have just left guys like these and run away.”

Luxembourg boldly approached them as they howled, and with a swing of her arm flew the heads of the mounts.

Now then, how were the other two?

First she looked at Byakko. There was a large, fist-shaped hole in his belly, and he was spurting blood from his mouth. Even his breath was feeble, and you could tell that he had taken a tremendous hit. When Luxembourg approached, Byakko entreated her help, seemingly delirious.

“O-, Oh… S-, Sa, ve… m-…e”

“Hmmm~♪ Do you wanna be saved that bad?”

“M-, Make haste… damn you. F-, Fool, m-, my mana, cannot――”

“Don’t wanna.”

Luxembourg shot a magic bullet at him. The merciless bullet collided violently with his stomach.

“GOHHH!”

“Kyahahaha♪ What the heck, what a grossss voice.”

While weakened, he had taken a magic bullet from one of the Six Demon Generals. Byakko even lost his original form as he was smashed to pulp.

Next, Luxembourg examined Seiryuu. Seiryuu had been more severely injured; the bone had been pulverised all across his body, and he wasn’t even properly conscious.

“Ki, goh… gah…”

“Hmm. This guy is on his last breath, isn’t he. Guess it can’t be helped. He was beaten to a pulp by the Evil God after all.”

Luxembourg peered in on Seiryuu’s face. Her expression was filled with joy.

“Heyy? Want me to save you?”

“Guh… Gi…”

“Boooring!”

She trampled on his head with all her might, and his skull collapsed with a splurt.

“Kyahaha♪ This is what happens when you get carried away, you know.”

So she muttered happily.

Kyaha, what a bunch of retards.

With this, she felt a little better.

“Now then, where was the Evil God again?”

Her pupils widened…

Found them!

The Evil God was laying down, nestled against Camilla. And behind her was the unconscious Nielsen.

Using her completely trained limbs, Luxembourg moved at high speeds to where the Evil God was laying. Although an enemy quickly approached, the Evil God was sleeping peacefully without notice.

And then, Luxembourg clamped the Evil God’s head in her hand.

“So this is the Evil God… She really does look just like a normal human.”

A lovely face, and a slim neck. With her dainty body, she looked like nothing but a human. Had Luxembourg not seen that incredible battle, she wouldn’t have been able to believe it. And next to the Evil God was Camilla the traitor.

“You guys really are too defenceless… So stupid.”

Luxembourg’s face warped in joy. The joy was irrepressible. Not only were those cocky nuisances gone, the Evil God was weary and battered. How often would as wonderful a situation come along?

“Haha, I really am so lucky! Please watch, Zorg-sama. I’ll immediately offer them to you――well then, die!”

A strike that came down, filled with mana――

But her hand was caught in Tilea’s.

“Kuh-!? Evil God, you noticed? But you really are unsteady… Fine then, I’ll finish you off♪”

“It has been a long while, O Lux.”

“Eh-!? Why!? I-, It can’t be――I see. So you were in there.”

……
…………
………………

“――Well then, I am leaving it to you.”

“Sir, please leave it to me.”

Demon General Luxembourg disappeared without anybody noticing.

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Note: This is not a cliff-hanger. No matter what you guys might want this series to be, in the end it’s a comedy. Sometimes a slightly dark-ish comedy, but always a comedy, so the back-story moves along veeeery slowly. So yeah.

Chapter 25 – “A mortal struggle, and the end. My muscles are sure going to hurt tomorrow.”

Tiger Dokyun vomited blood and fainted. A girl like me defeated a huge tiger of over 3 metres tall.

Bracers of Burst Earth… As expected of Loser(Bizef)’s prized rare item. It’s at times like this that I really get the feeling that I’m in another world. I can cover for my low level with good gear after all.

“O-, One hit…?”

“Yes. I’m also surprised. However, the Evil God should have also lost a lot of mana.”

“Y-, Yeah. Aight, let’s use another Triangle Hells Attack![Demonic Evil Ultimate Suppression Spell!]”

“It’ll be difficult with only us two, but I suppose it can’t be helped.”

Dragon Dokyun and Flame Dokyun began chanting again. A magic circle appeared between them.

“I-, It can’t be…”

“Huhu, did somebody say that it could only be done with three people? It’s possible even with two.”

Kuh-, that thing from before again? Help from Timu won’t be coming this time. If I get hit by that again, I really won’t have any way to resist.

What do I do?

Triangle Hells Attack[Demonic Evil Ultimate Suppression Spell]. They described it in a chuuni-esque way, but basically it’s a stamina drain. I know the trick to it now. Finishing the spell, the three of them had pointed at me as though locking on, and then black arrows came flying from every direction. And then when the arrows pierced me, I lost almost all my strength…

Mn!? Speaking of which, last time I stood still because I was hesitant to attack the dokyun with my nunchaku. If I move so that they miss when they point at me, I might be able to avoid it.

Let’s try it out!

Now that I’m set on this, it’s time to release that from my dark history; one of the Evil God Seven Hundred and Seventy Seven Skills.

Killing blow, “Pepsi Roll.”

While dancing through the battlefield in a figure-8 motion defence, you utilise the recoil from the movements to barrage from left and right with enough power to burst open a Pepsi can.

It was the special technique of a protagonist in a boxing manga in my old life. In my previous life I had become addicted to that manga, and instead of working or studying I just holed up in a manga cafe and read the entire series five times. In particular, I was so addicted that I filmed myself numerous times, performing the protagonist’s killing blow, “Pepsi Roll” and uploading it to a video-sharing website.

Well, the fact that I got carried away, practised it on a log, and then fractured my hand is another story. Anyway, my body should still know how to do it.

I pulled my fists up into a guard, and took a boxing stance. And then, with movements like a bee, I headed at full speed towards the dokyun.

“T-, The hell is that!?”

“Kuh-, I can’t read her movements.”

Heh! Just as expected. It looks like the dokyun can’t follow tricky movements. While they were failing to get an aim on me, I closed the distance and closed in right in front of Dragon Dokyun.

“Prepare!”

Together with my shout, I used the centrifugal force and rained a barrage of punches upon him. His solar plexus, his face, his temple. I continued hitting them all rhythmically, striking mercilessly into his vitals. It can’t be helped. Dragon Dokyun has regeneration powers, so there wouldn’t be any point in hitting him with half-assed attacks.

“H-, Hii. Gue-, yo-, st-, sto-, p, s-, save――GOHEHH!”

Frothing at the mouth, Dragon Dokyun fainted in agony. He was spreading bloody vomit everywhere, but he was alive at least.

Now then, there’s just one dokyun left. Only, I don’t want to get violent on a girl. It’d be great if she ran away now, but…

Well, if she still wants to go at it, I’ll give her a taste of gender equality.

“You’re the only one left, you know. Well? Going to surrender?”

“…Evil God. That was splendid. However, I know your weak point now. It seems that you’re a close combat type. I’m going to burn you from afar.”

Saying that, Flame Dokyun took a distance, and began to activate her magic.

Crap!

It seems that she found out that I couldn’t use magic. It’s true that I haven’t used a single spell this whole time. It can’t be helped. I’ll get through this with a bluff somehow.

“Huhu, when did I say I was bad with ranged battles? Even though I’m actually better at ranged magical attacks.”

“T-, That’s a lie.”

“It’s up to you if you want to test it. Only you’d better be prepared to disappear down to the last drop of blood!”

“Then I will reciprocate with my Terafire(Ultimate Fire Spell). I’m going to turn this whole region into ash, you know.”

Oooh, this chick can bluff too! Like I’ll lose to her. I’ve been an expert in chuuni bluffs since my last life.

“HA HA HA! Then I’ll use this spell to destroy the whole damn country!”

“Y-, You’re bluffing――v-, very well. If you’re going to say that much, then I’ll show you the flames of hell. It’s my most powerful move. Both you and this town are done for.”

Flame Dokyun was shaken. Looks like she’s about half-convinced by my bluff. It seems that thanks to the defeat of Tiger Dokyun and Dragon Dokyun, she’s mistaken me for a talented adventurer. Thanks to Loser(Bizef)’s weapon, I’ve really taken her for a ride.

Alright. I’ll just chant some threatening incantation to continue the pressure. Only, I don’t know the magic of this world, so my only choice is to make use of my memories of my old world.

Which phrase would be best…

I know! That one!

I decided to use the lines from a certain anime’s strongest spell to scare her.

“Tremble in fear! Thou who art darker than darkness, Thou who art faster than even a flowing river… By the lofty name of Dark Matter… We swear on the Evil God.”

“W-, What is that! I’ve never heard of such a chant.”

“Hmph. The lukewarm spells made from the immature magic elements of this nation are no match for me. I’ll show you the Evil God’s final technique!”

“T-, That can’t be… W-, What mana…”

“I shall continue. Those who would defy Us, All those who are fools, By Our power, Grant Destruction upon them!”

I rhythmically moved my hands as though actually activating some grand spell. I randomly brought my hands together and made a heart-shape, and did other random pantomimes.

“Y-, You can’t be… A-, Are you sane? If you release a magic with that gargantuan mana, far from this country, even the world itself will be destroyed!”

“You wanted to see it, didn’t you? I’ll show it to you. The end of the world!”

“W-, Wait…”

“The games end now. GIGA SLA――”

“H-, Hiii!”

Flame Dokyun looked at me as though I was some sort of monster, and after shrieking, she ran away.

Yes! My bluff completely fooled her!

There were some unexpected occurrences, but I managed to show them my strength. Now that they’ve had such a painful experience, they probably won’t make trouble for us again.

Phew~ It’s over…

Now that the fight was over, throbbing pains ran through my body. I got into a brawl, didn’t I. Honestly, this was my first time fighting. In my previous life, I was one-sidedly beat on, but I was never hurt to this extent. But well, this time I got them right back though.

Speaking of which, that Flame Dokyun left her companions here. Although they’re dokyun, I’m hesitant to just leave them here. They look pretty badly injured, so maybe I should at least call somebody to heal them. I turned towards town,

“Uu!”

and what faced me were the sabertooth tiger things from earlier, growling and glaring at me.

R-, Right…

They came here on some dangerous mounts.

T-, This is bad. The dokyun were still people so I could fool them with my mouth, but that won’t work on wild animals.

W-, What should I do?

Our eyes met. What ferocious expressions. There isn’t even a little friendliness.

I-, If it’s come to this, then I’ll just do whatever I can!

I held the rare weapon up in a fighting pose to threaten them.

I-, If you’re going to come, then come!

If possible, I’d prefer that you didn’t though…

“Kyain, kyuin”

Ooh~ I don’t really get it, but they ran away. Did they see me as a strong warrior because I defeated their masters?
Now that they’re running away scared, they kind of look like chihuahuas, and I’m starting to find them a bit cute.
――hey-, wait, hang on! You’re trying to run away without your masters!

I’ll try gesturing at the mounts to convey the message. First I pointed at the dokyun, and then I mimed riding, and various other things…

After a few minutes, perhaps they understood me, because they picked their masters up, and disappeared.

W-, With this, it really has ended. I pat my chest in relief.

“Wh-, Whoa.”

Once the tension left me, I collapsed to my knees. I really did overdo things. My entire body is weary. I took a drain after all.

But I did well in coming out fine. It’s thanks to the items that Loser(Bizef) lent me. But those items are ruined enough that they’re pitiful to look at. There were cracks in them, and because of Flame Dokyun’s fire, they were blackened all over.

If Loser(Bizef) sees them, won’t he faint a second time?

His prided and gorgeous items look like scrap now. But I don’t intend on reimbursing him, you know. If he wants to complain, then he should bring it up with the dokyun.

To begin with, it’s Loser(Bizef)’s fault for fainting at the very beginning and retiring from the match. He sure is easygoing for the Guard Captain. Had Loser(Bizef) tried harder, neither Timu or I would have needed to fight…

Thanks to Timu and I, it looks like the trouble this time has been solved. And in particular, I really owe Timu. She risked her life to save me. She’s down with chuuni disease at the moment, but at heart she’s still the same. A really wonderful little sister.

I looked at Timu lovingly. She was sleeping soundly.

“Timu.”

I moved my body, to try and run over to her.

Owwowowow…

My insides hurt. I’m probably going to have muscle pain tomorrow. Guess I’ll have a rest before I head home. Moving to Timu’s side, and snuggling up to her, I fell asleep.

---

Killing blow, “Pepsi Roll.”
A reference to the Dempsey Roll.

“The games end now. GIGA SLA――”
The whole chant and spell is a reference to Lina Inverse’s Giga Slave (from the Slayers franchise).

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Chapter 24 – “You’ve finally made me angry.”

The dokyun began to do something. Flame Dokyun fell back, while Dragon Dokyun and Tiger Dokyun stood to my left and right.

Huh? Huh? What’s about to happen?

They’ve begun to take some sort of formation.

I-, I’m kinda getting a bad feeling about this…

“Oneesama!”

Apparently Timu also noticed the abnomality of whatever they were doing because she ran over to me, worriedly.

“Timu, it’s dangerous so stay back!”

Timu can’t be placed in danger.

I stopped Timu from approaching.

These guys are planning something. But I don’t know what, exactly.

In that case, I need to make the first move. Shall I have you taste my nunchaku again!?

Only, the nunchaku are too powerful. If Dragon Dokyun didn’t have regeneration powers, it would’ve turned into a huge incident.

Damned Loser(Bizef). It’s only at times like this that he’s oddly hard-working!

If I hit the wrong place with this weapon, it’ll kill somebody.

Once I considered this, I hesitated in attacking the dokyun again.

“Evil God, I really didn’t think I’d hafta use this technique!”

“Yes. It was supposed to be our trump card again the Demon King.”

The dokyun mumbled some chant.

I-, It can’t be…

Every one of them can use magic?

It was the same in my last life as well, but there were a lot of delinquents with high specs. It looks like that rule applies in this world too.

Honestly, if you have that much ability then try contributing to society a little!

Paying no attention to my displeasure, the three of them completed their magic.

And then…

“””Triangle Hells Attack![Demonic Evil Ultimate Suppression Spell!]”””

The very instant that they finished chanting their incantation, hundreds of magic arrows appeared all around me in every direction. And all of them were pointed at me.

“Wai-, this isn’t a jok-, OWWWW!”

I-, It hurts. It really, really hurts!

Dozens of the arrows ruthlessly stabbed into my body.

STABBED INTO MY BODY!?

Am I going to die?

But, t-, there’s no blood…?

――only, what happened instead was that the shiny black arrows began to sparkle and particles of light began to float about.

W-, What is this?

Anyway, for now I need to pull out the arrows!

H-, Huh? For some reason my arms feel weak.

I grabbed the magic arrows and tried to pull them out of me, but my arms were losing strength.

“GAHHAHHHAH! How do you feel, Evil God? Feeling your body grow weak?”

“Ku ku ku. Those black arrows are special, yanno; they’re mana absorbing. Just a graze from one of those is enough to suck out ten normal demons’ worth of mana.”

“Huhu. This was a good test for our battle with the Demon King.”

The three dokyun smiled with joy.

Mana absorbing?

So it was like those drain spells that appear in RPGs!?

W-, What a terrible thing to do. I’m just a normal person you know!

A dangerous spell like this is normally supposed to be used on magic beasts.

I see. With a spell like this you can laugh and enjoy yourself as the other person loses their strength and panics. It sounds like something those low-life dokyun would come up with. But these guys don’t understand at all. Even if these arrows aren’t fatal, there’s a chance that a spell like this could kill an ordinary person.

There were a number of instances in my old life when dokyun messing around caused people to die. I don’t have the slightest intention of dying for such a reason.

Once again, I tried to muster my strength and pull the arrows out. But as expected, I couldn’t find the strength to. The hand wrapped around the arrow was trembling.

This is bad. My strength is leaving me. I can’t send any power into my limbs at all. This is bad. Really bad. I’m growing noticeably weaker.

“I’m coming, Oneesama!”

“Y-, You can’t. D-, Don’t come……”

“Oop. Camilla, we ain’t gunna let ya through.”

“Please be quiet and watch.”

Flame Dokyun created a curtain of flames between Timu and I. The roaring curtain of flames flared so high that they seemed to reach the skies.

UOHHH, what a crazy flame pillar!? You could make a living with your magic. Stop wasting your time on being a delinquent and go get a proper job.

“Kuh-, YOU!”

Timu tried to break through it somehow, but the flame curtain stopped her――or rather, stop that already. If you try and break through that it won’t end with just a burn.

“He he. Well then, Evil God. In return for this arm of mine, gunna pay you back a few times over.”

Dragon Dokyun swung his blade with crazed eyes. I desperately blocked with my nunchaku.

Even though I held myself back earlier so that I wouldn’t hurt these guys…

Now that I was weakened, the dokyun happily tormented me.

Now that it’s come to this, I can’t hold back anymore. Discarding my earlier hesitation, I attacked. But whenever I tried to, the dokyun would skilfully dodge, and retaliate with hit and run tactics. I was trapped.

Kuh-, if I don’t defeat them while I can still move…!

My anxiety grew, but I couldn’t find a way to change the situation. The biggest problem was definitely my mana being drained. Whenever I tried to attack, my strikes were weak, and I never hit. At this rate, things are only going to get worse.

“HAHAHA! Take this!”

“GAHAHAHA! Have a roar!”

“Hu hu, where are you looking? You’re going to get burnt to death, you know.”

Hahh, hahh, the three dokyun all continued to attack in their own ways. Dragon Dokyun was swinging his Azure Dragon Crescent Moon Blade about. I don’t know if it was magic or some power specific to beastmen, but Tiger Dokyun was hitting me with roars of touki bullets. On top of that, Flame Dokyun was using Merazonma-class flame magic…

If it wasn’t for Loser(Bizef)’s rare equipment, wouldn’t I have died?

And, finally, the rare equipment was starting to form cracks. Even rare equipment would obviously break if it continued taking attacks like this.

Mn!? Which means that I’ll have to deal with the power of the next attack with my own defence?

This is bad, this is bad. T-, This is definitely bad!

I-, I’m scared. I’m so scaredd…

I really shouldn’t have picked a fight with dokyun. They cross the line without even blinking.

…If I prostrated myself in dogeza and cried, would they forgive me?

I took a peek at their expressions. All three of their faces were warped in joy. They were drunk on violence.

I know that look.

In my past life, sometimes I had been surrounded by dokyun and beaten up like this. This scene right now was just like in my memories. They looked on with fun when they saw that I was afraid.

These three are the same!

If you ask for forgiveness from people like this, all it does is spur them on. In my previous life, I just gave them all the money I had, and desperately apologised to escape from the pain.

But this time that won’t work.

Are these guys aiming for money?

They’re not. They’re aiming for women. If it was just me, it would still be better. But these guys even planned to turn their poisonous fangs on Timu. That alone is something I have to stop.

It’s different to the times in my old life. I absolutely can’t lose this time!

“UOHHHHH! SEH! YAH!”

With my fighting spirit blazing again, I swung my nunchaku. My whole body felt like lead, and I felt like I would fall even now, but I mustered all my willpower and continued to attack with the nunchaku.

“Oop, that was close. Ya still had that much power!?”

“I’m shocked. Even a high-class demon would have died long ago from the mana absorption.”

“Heh! Gunna be taking this!”

Dragon Dokyun received the blow of my nunchaku with his Azure Dragon Crescent Moon Blade, before snatching the nunchaku away from me.

Shit, he avoided it!

My vision was getting blurry, and of all things, even my weapon was in their hands. Without it, I had no way to resist. For now I need to move, or else I’ll just be a target for them. I ran left and right.

“HAHAHA, she can still move that well? This chick’s mana is like bottomless or something!”

“But her mana should reach its limit soon. I’m looking forward to when that happens.”

Dragon Dokyun and Flame Dokyun were chatting impatiently. To stop me from escaping, the three of them maintained their formation while carefully working together. At this rate, things will just go the way they want.

“Oneesama!”

At that moment, Timu broke through the flames. Her clothes were burnt here and there, and that wasn’t all. I’m sure she was burnt somewhere herself.

“Timu, how could you do something so dangerous!”

“My deepest apologies, Oneesama. It took me a long time just to activate a defensive magic that could break through her flames.”

Timu, so you can even use defensive magic…

You’re amazing. You should feel proud of yourself. But it’s dangerous here. Those three are scumbags that would have no qualms about tormenting us even if we were already seriously injured.

“Timu, hurry up and run from here.”

“Oneesama, I will remove those arrows this instant.”

“Just listen, and hurry up and――”

“Oneesama, please endure for a little. I will hit you with Star Freya[Super Demon Star Magic Bullets].”

Ah, the spell from that time. The magic bullets from Timu’s hand collided with the arrows buried in me. Because they were firm and tough, they wouldn’t disappear unless they were hit by dozens of the magic bullets.

“I shall not allow you!”

The dokyun noticed Timu and showed their intent to attack. Tiger Dokyun took the pose that he used for roaring. This is bad. He’s going to attack with his roar bullet!

“W-, Wait. Stop it! Timu, I’m fine so hurry up and run!”

Completely lost it in, I screamed at Timu. Tiger Dokyun’s roar bullets were quite powerful. The only reason my injuries are this light is because I’ve been wearing rare equipment. If somebody took that with their unarmoured body, I think even a large adult would be seriously injured.

“J-, Just a little more.”

Timu ignored my words and continued removing the arrows. I see. Of course. There’s no way a girl who cares about her older sister this much would leave in a pinch like this.

I tried to cover Timu, but I couldn’t really find the strength.

“Camilla, DIEEE!”

Tiger Dokyun’s roar bullet rushed towards Timu. That loud roar bullet sped towards her like it was being guided in.

“Guhah-!”

“Timu!”

N-, No way…

It was a direct hit. She might be seriously injured. I immediately rushed towards her side.

“Hahh, hahh, O-, Oneesa-, ma… T-, Thank goodness. It seems the curse… removed.”

“Yes, thanks to you, Timu. I’m completely fine now. My strength is back.”

“T-, That I could be… o-, of use to you, makes me… happy, Oneesama.”

“Sorry, Timu. Because I was useless I made you force yourself. Just rest here. Leave the rest to me.”

After giving a nod, Timu collapsed on the spot.

She’s breathing normally. Thankfully there didn’t seem to be any danger to her life.

Phew~ Thank goodness.

A sigh of relief escaped me. She mentioned defensive magic covering her body, so that’s probably why. But because of me she was hurt, and experienced something scary. I hope it doesn’t become a trauma, but…

Shit, if I knew this was going to happen, I should have had Timu borrow equipment as well. I made a horrible slip-up. When I went to borrow equipment I hadn’t planned on having Timu fight directly, so I didn’t take it into account. I really am too naive. Even if she was on standby in the backline, situations like this time’s presented plenty enough chance for her to be hit.

“GUHAHAHAHAHA! The first is down!”

Tiger Dokyun laughed heartily.

What an unbelievable bastard! He doesn’t feel even a little guilt for hurting somebody. And a child like Timu too!

I can’t forgive them anymore. I’m not mature enough to stay quiet after my precious family has been hurt.

I dashed over to the unconscious Loser(Bizef) and borrowed a certain item from him pocket. Right. The item that he said I could even use to kill a magic beast with; the dangerous weapon “Bracers of Burst Earth”.

Loser(Bizef) is an untrustworthy and unreliable guy, but when it comes to weapons, you can believe him. Even without my nunchaku, using this is plenty.

Bastard dokyun! How dare you do something as brutal as directly hitting somebody with your roar bullet!

You guys might have thought of it as a bit of fun, but if something went wrong, Timu might have died you know! I’ll let you know what it means to hurt somebody. I’ll play this game the way you do. Don’t regret it if you die!

I equipped the bracers, and immediately closed the distance to Tiger Dokyun.

“Evil God!? What are you――”

“EAT THIS!”

This is payment for hurting Timu. With all my strength, I threw my right fist forward and gave Tiger Dokyun’s guts a taste of my straight.

“GEHOOOOOH!”

Tiger Dokyun gave a scream loud enough to echo in the mountains, before throwing up blood and collapsing. He was twitching on the ground now.

…D-, Did he die?

“Guh… Gi… Gah…”

No, it looks like he barely made it. It’s definitely a heavy wound but… No, I don’t care. They had a great time doing me in, so I’m angry. It’s my turn now.

---

“On top of that, Flame Dokyun was using Merazonma-class flame magic…”
Parody of the Dragon Quest spell, Merazohma.

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Chapter 23 – “Experience the power of the Killer Nunchaku!”

I commenced my attack to stop the dokyun. They numbered three, so I was going to defeat one of them before I was surrounded. But the range of Dragon Dokyun’s blade was long, and with Flame Dokyun’s flame magic, I couldn’t carelessly close the distance.

How should I move?

Even while I was thinking, the dokyun were getting closer.

“Providing support, Oneesama!”

Timu who had been hiding in the rear, fired her magic bullets. The buzzing magic bullets flew right ahead, and threatened the dokyun near their feet.

“Tsk. Damned Camilla. So she was hiding in the back.”

“It’s strange, isn’t it. I couldn’t sense her mana.”

In face of Timu’s torrent of bullets, the dokyun all went on the defence. Though only elementary magic, with that many of Timu’s bullets raining down, the dokyun couldn’t move.

It’s my chance.

While Timu was stopping the dokyun with her magic bullets, I closed the distance and swung down my nunchaku at Dragon Dokyun’s arm.

“G-, GYAHHHH! M-, MY ARMMMMMMM!”

My nunchaku struck him splendidly on the arm, and Dragon Dokyun screamed and fell to the ground, writhing.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, aren’t you being a little dramatic! Even if Loser(Bizef) gave it a magic enchantment, you’re still a dragonoid, aren’t you. I mean he clearly had hard scales. And also, now that I looked carefully, he was pale too. Although he’s a dokyun, could it be that he’s calcium deficient with a weak constitution?

――wai-, whoa!?

Dragon Dokyun’s arm is bent the wrong way!? Looking carefully, it’s a 90 degree angle.

S-, Seriously…?

Even though he’s a Loser(Bizef), he gets the job done just fine, huh. Just how far did he enchant this if it’s got enough power to break a dragonoid’s arm? Damn Loser(Bizef). He has the heart of a flea, but it looks like just his support magic is good.

I looked down at the nunchaku again. I could see it completely wrapped in a faint magical aura. And this aura worked on the scales of a dragonoid.

T-, Thank goodness.

If Pervert(Nielsen) did something stupid again, I was planning on fixing him up with this. Thank goodness I didn’t, because he would’ve died.

I could see Dragon Dokyun’s white bone sticking out of his broken arm. A so-called compound fracture.

Guess it really does hurt, huh.

Dragon Dokyun was down with a cold sweat, and there was an expression of anguish on his face. It’s bad enough that he needs painkillers.

D-, Did I overdo it a little?

This might be excessive self-defence. No matter how I look at it, that’s going to take more than three months to heal.

For now, let’s try and end it here. Even if they’re dokyun, I have absolutely no intention of becoming a criminal. As long as they swear not to touch Timu, it’s fine.

“W-, With an arm like that, it doesn’t seem like you can fight, huh. If you’re going to run, now’s the time.”

“Hahh, hahh. B-, Bastard. Unforgiveable. Absolutely unforgiveable. Y-, YOUU, HMPH!”

Dragon Dokyun glared at me with eyes filled with rage, before tearing his broken arm off of all things.

“Eh-!?”

W-, Why did he pull his arm off? That’s not something you can fix by going to hospital!

What on earth is he thinking…

Dragon Dokyun was missing everything below the elbow now. While I was dumbfounded by the scene, Dragon Dokyun began to tremble.

And then…

“UOOHHHHHH, DAAAAAAAAH!”

Deh――――EHH!?

H-, He grew an arm. Are you a Great Demon King or something!

Haha, it’s true that this was faster than going to a hospital. Or could it be like some test of guts for the dragonoids?

Anyway, being shocked at this is just what they want. I won’t be perturbed. I need to show the attitude of the strong.

“H-, Hmm~ I’m surprised. So you can regenerate your arm. But it looks like it won’t recover your mana.”

“So you saw through it, Evil God. Yes, Seiryuu’s mana has now greatly fallen.”

Ah-, I knew it!

Of course. There’s no way such an amazing recovery ability wouldn’t use mana. I was just guessing, but I wonder if I managed to act like a powerful person.

“What the hell, Suzaku! My arm broke, yanno. There’s no way that’s 5000.”

“…At present, it appears to has risen to 200,000.”

“Wha-!? Are you trying to say that they rose from 300 to 200,000!?”

“On top of that, it looks to still be rising. It appears that the Evil God normally suppresses her mana.”

“Seems that it wasn’t a lie when Hidler said she was Demon King-tier, huh.”

It looks like the dokyun lost their composure. Their relaxed expressions turned into serious ones, and they talked about how I was Demon King-tier while watching me vigilantly.

Demon King-tier? It’s surprising that they’d be this wary of me, but…

Anyway, they mistook me for somebody strong, just according to plan. This might be the right time to encourage them to surrender.

“If you guys are going to surrender, now’s the time.”

“SHADDAP! We’re gunna rip you to shreds.”

Dragon Dokyun bellowed at me. It seems that he was still quite eager to fight, because he looked ready to come slashing at me any moment.

“Settle yourself, Seiryuu. Camilla lies in wait. Desist from charging in alone.”

“Kuh-! F-, Fine.”

“Well? What will we do? Should I burn Camilla first?”

“Nah, they’d probably work together to stop you.”

“Well then, what will we do?”

“We’re gunna go with our trump card――Triangle Hells Attack![Demonic Evil Ultimate Suppression Spell!]”

---

“H-, He grew an arm. Are you a Great Demon King or something!”
Piccolo the Great Demon King

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<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter> 

In case you guys forgot, ‘eat’ is probably the most common euphemism for ‘sex’ in Japanese.

Ladies(レディース) is a term in Japanese that can refer to all-female delinquent biker gangs.

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Chapter 22 – “I underestimated the level of Otherworld deliquents.”

“By the way, Tilea-chan?”

“What is it?”

“This time it’s my turn to wonder… What is that stick that you’ve been carrying around?”

“T-, This is――”

“Hmph. Garbage. This is a weapon called the Killer Nunchaku, used to unleash techniques far beyond anything you could ever accomplish. A divine artifact created by Tilea-sama herself.”

Ah-, idiot!? Loser(Bizef) isn’t a chuunibyou, so if you say something like that…

“Pfft-, AHAHAHAHA! K-, Killer Nunchaku!? And what’s more, a weapon that Tilea-chan created is a divine artifact? Y-, You’re killing me!”

Dammnit!

He burst into laughter at me, just like I thought. Apparently the Killer Nunchaku was hilarious.
Loser(Bizef) rolled about on the ground, guffawing as he held his sides.

“Tilea-sama. I believe we should kill this garbage after all. Part of your strategy though he may be, this is too disrespectful!”

“Niel, I told you, didn’t I. For the sake of the great plan, we need to endure.”

“As expected of Tilea-sama. Treating everybody without haughtiness, no matter how diminutive they might be. In other words, we need at least this much mettle and prudence in order to succeed in taking the world, correct?”

“Yes, yes, exactly as you say. For the sake of spreading my banner across the land, you need to behave, okay?”

“Understood! Even you are bearing with this humiliation. I shall also bear with it.”

And so, just as I managed to stop Pervert(Nielsen), Loser(Bizef) slowly got up from rolling about in laughter.

“Hahh~ That was a good one.”

Damned Loser(Bizef). Looks like he’s finally stopped laughing. But that grin is still on his face. You don’t need to laugh that much…

“Bizef-san, you laughed too much.”

“Sorry, sorry. Pfft-, K-, Killer Nunchaku, was it? Did you create it especially for today, Tilea-chan?”

“Y-, Yes.”

Uu~ I’m starting to feel even more embarrassed now. So this really is how normal people are supposed to respond. Because Pervert(Nielsen) praised me so much, I ended up getting ahead of myself.

“Aah~ Tilea-chan, you don’t have to blush so much. I won’t laugh at you anymore. As an apology, I’ll enchant your weapon.”

“Really!?”

Ooh~ Well this is a windfall. It’s true that I’d still be nervous with just a metal rod. It’d be great if it he gave it some dignity with a magic enchantment.

“Hey, pass it over for a moment.”

“Here.”

I handed the nunchaku to Loser(Bizef) and he began to chant some kind of incantation. Then, the nunchaku was wrapped in some kind of magical light in its entirety.

“Phew~ Alright. I gave it an attack enchantment so it should add to your attack power. Only, maybe I got a little too into it. The destructive power has gone up quite a bit, so be careful how you use it, okay?”

“Garbage, just how helpful are you saying such a level of support magic will be! Before Tilea-sama’s mighty power, it is naught but dregs. Nothing more than adding one to a million!”

Aah~ Pervert(Nielsen) is picking a fight again. Even though I warned him so much. Or could it be that this already counts as enduring it for Pervert(Nielsen)?

“Tilea-chan, I got it. It’s true that getting angry at a guy like this would be immature. Honestly, I already have no idea what he’s on about anymore.”

“Please don’t mind Niel. More importantly, thank you very much for the magic enchantment.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine. More importantly, you really need to be careful when you use it, okay?”

“I know. Unless it comes down to it, I won’t be using this weapon.”

“Heh! Tilea-chan. As long as I’m here, it never will.”

S-, So annoying…

Even after that, Loser(Bizef) continued boasting about his skill. And Pervert(Nielsen) being Pervert(Nielsen) picked a fight with Loser(Bizef) whenever he could.

Well, it seems that Loser(Bizef) won’t respond in kind anymore, so it probably won’t turn physical but…

Huu~ Seems like I’m exhausted even before facing the dokyun. The two of them recklessly quarrelled like we were going to a picnic or something. We’re going to pick a fight with some dokyun, you know. Even though the chance that things will get violent is plenty high, you guys are…

Don’t they understand how serious this is?

Anyway, while I was worrying like that for a while as we were waiting, I suddenly heard the earth tremble, DO DO DO DO.

What is that? What’s that sound?

What’s this sound that feels like the earth is rumbling…?

I strained my eyes and looked in the direction of the quaking.

TOBYYAAAAAAAAH!

What surprised me, you ask? Well yes, the three of them came. Just as expected, the Demonic Evil Three came. But what was surprising was the mounts they were riding on. They weren’t any normal mounts. Instead they were some kind of scary looking sabertooth tiger-type things.

Could this also be illusion magic? Like, maybe they’re actually just chihuahuas…?

No, that’s wrong. I shouldn’t be optimistic here. These guys are dokyun. In this world, there aren’t any motorbikes. So instead of motorbikes, I bet the dokyun of this world ride mounts. Honestly, I have no idea where the hell they got these from, but they’re as dangerous as you can get.

In my past life, dokyun would rampage around on remodelled motorbikes. Then could it be that the status symbol for dokyun in this world is how scary a motorbike(mount) they can get?

This is bad. This is super bad!

If they sic such a crazy pet on me, no matter how many lives I have it won’t be enough.

While I was breaking into a cold sweat, the dokyun got off their mounts and came this way. It seems that they have no intention of siccing them.

――I see!

To these guys, their motorbikes(mounts) are like their precious cars. It’d be terrible if by some chance they got hurt while being sicced on us, right? I was relieved for now.

After that, the dokyun closed in one us, step by step, before finally appearing in front of me.

T-, These guys are the Demonic Evil Three――

I-, I underestimated them…

I really underestimated the dokyun in this world.

I’m stupid. There’s no Sword and Firearms Law in this world.

To begin with… what the heck is that dragonoid?

He’s freaking holding some massive blade. Right, almost like an Azure Dragon Crescent Blade. Did he come out here to take the heads of a thousand generals?

ARE YOU GUAN YU OR SOMETHINGGGGGG!

And that beastman…

ISN’T HE BASICALLY A TIGER ALREADYYYYY!

No, seriously, he isn’t something cute like 『Torajirou』. It’s so crazy that he looks capable of swallowing a person whole. Just how relieved would I be if that were just a mask.

And the last person…

Why is she wrapped head to toe in flames? Is she trying to emphasize “I’m a magcian yanno!” or something like that?

And what’s more, she’s kind of cute.

For now I’ll call them “Dragon Dokyun”, “Tiger Dokyun” and “Flame Dokyun” I guess. Each and every one of them seems to be a difficult person with a few quirks. They definitely don’t look like somebody I can beat. It would be best to leave it to the in-name-only Guard Captain.

“B-, Bizef-san, it’s time to redeem yourself. Come, please give them a warning!”

I tried to tap Loser(Bizef)’s shoulder. But there was nobody there.

Huu~ I expected this, but…

I looked down.

…So you really did faint.

Loser(Bizef) was once again lying there with his eyes rolled back.

You know, I think you should just change your job already. You could only do your work so far because nothing big happened in a country town like Beruga, right?

The “Demonic Evil Three” certainly had intensity. The dokyun of this world were so intense that it would be no mystery for people to call them “Demons”. I felt like I was going to wet myself. But you know, for a former adventurer to be scared of them…?

――Or rather, you definitely weren’t an adventurer, were you!

He was probably something like a club-manager to a famous adventurer party. I’m certain he never actually headed to the frontlines. There’s no mistake that he just did things like taking care of the paperwork or collecting medicinal herbs, and thanks to the achievements of his friends, he rose to C-Rank.

I had always found it strange that somebody with a splendid title like C-Rank adventurer would work as the Guard Captain of a hick town like Beruga, but to think that there was that trick behind it. In a countryside town like Beruga, his actual ability wouldn’t be revealed. If bandits or brigands decided to attack, it would’ve been bad, huh?

…Just lie there and sleep. I’ll take care of the rest somehow.

I moved Loser(Bizef) to the side, before facing off the dokyun.

“Hmph. Human, to lose consciousness due to my press――”

“Yes, yes, you used haki as well, right? I get it already.”

Why do all of these people always give the same reaction? Well, I guess if somebody coincidentally fainted near me in my past life, perhaps I might have said the same thing though…

“What is this ‘haky’?”

“That doesn’t matter, right? More importantly, are you guys the rumoured Demonic Evil Three?”

“Indeed. Are you the Evil God feared by Hidler?”

“Aah~ Is that the setting we’re going with? Fine then. I am Evil God Tilea-sama. And so, what’s your purpose in coming here? Timu――or Camilla rather, I bet you didn’t just come here to complain to her, right!”

“Indeed. We desired to eat the rumoured Evil God, you see.”

“Yes. I came here because I wanted to know what kind of taste the Evil God had.”

“Haha, we’re gunna eat the Evil God!”

Wha-!? T-, They’re going to ‘eat’ me!?

I knew they would be scumbags!

They were thinking about indecent things, just like I suspected.

And eating me? They’re so blunt with their lust. I don’t come cheap, you know!

Of course, just picturing it with the men is enough to give me the shivers. My body might be a woman’s, but my mind is definitely a man’s. And it’s a beastman and dragonoid, you know! Homo, and then bestiality on top of that? Just how badly are they trying to traumatise me.

Ah, but there was a girl too, wasn’t there. She’s pretty cute, so I might actually want to try being eaten by her…

――Whoa-, not good, not good!

She’s a dokyun. Like a Ladies. Not someone you want to get involved with.
Anyway, I sure was naive. I predicted that they would have ulterior motives, but for them to suddenly tell me straight up that they’re going to “attack” me is…

They really are too blunt with their lust. These guys aren’t somebody I can deal with alone. It looks like it isn’t the time to be caring about appearances anymore.

Begin the final strategy!

I’ll get help from everybody in town. I need to have Pervert(Nielsen) run away with Timu, after all.

“Niel, the final strategy――”

“I shall not forgive your remarks against Tilea-sama!”

Pervert(Nielsen) roared that as he struck at the dokyun.

Idiot, don’t be so hasty!

Before I had time to stop him, Pervert(Nielsen) attacked the dokyun but――

“Sluggish!”

“Guhah-!”

Just like I thought, Tiger Dokyun took him down in one punch.

As expected, huh…

No, but even so, he got angry for my sake, right? He was a lot braver than Loser(Bizef) to face people like that. I’ve bettered my opinion of you a little.

“Hahh, kuh-, I-, I, can still…”

Despite the damage he took, Pervert(Nielsen) desperately tried to stand. No, I’ll acknowledge your guts, but don’t force yourself. Dokyun have no common sense, so I bet that guy hit him without holding back. Since it was the feeble Pervert(Nielsen), even one punch might have broken his bones.

“Niel, you don’t need to force yourself. Leave it to me.”

“T-, Tilea-sama, my deepest apolo――”

Perhaps relieved by my words, Pervert(Nielsen) collapsed on the spot.

“Ku ku, that guy was 『Iron Wall』 Nielsen, yeah?”

“Who is that? I haven’t heard of them.”

“Indeed. I have no interest in the weak.”

Each of the dokyun sneered at Pervert(Nielsen).

Saying whatever they want, huh. As expected of dokyun. They don’t even hesitate to hit people.

“But yanno, even though I was so lookin’ forward to that Evil God that scared Hidler…”

“Indeed. Their mana is too feeble. I cannot imagine them to be strong.”

“Suzaku, you see how much mana they have?”

“Let me see. The mana welling up from her is roughly 300. Even if we suppose that she could increase it, I would have to say 5,000 at best.”

“5,000 you say? My belly will not even feel it. Cursed Hidler! Sending us here for a thing of this level!”

“Evil God-, wait, no, you’re just a normal human, yeah? You sure had bad luck, huh. We’re in a terrible mood right now. You’re in for a rough time.”

“Please don’t expect an easy death. We’re going to have some fun.”

The dokyun gave ferocious smiles as they approached.

“Talking it out――seems impossible now, huh…”

“What? You already desire to capitulate? How dull. It seems that you will not last much of our fun.”

“Yeah. Now that it’s come to this, guess we gotta play with Camilla instead.”

Wha-!? They’re going to lay their hands on not just me, but Timu as well? Timu is still only fourteen, you know. Wait, but in this world without regulations, I guess you can do it as much as you want. This isn’t just some joke anymore. It’s a crime!

“You know, I’ve always wanted to eat that Camilla chick.”

The dokyun gave vulgar guffaws. They’re even going to lay their hands on a child like Timu. No wonder Hidler expelled them. They’re complete scumbags.

“I’m not going to forgive you guys.”

“Huh? We’re in a bad mood right now. You forget that!?”

“Aah~ Is that so. I’m also in a reallly bad mood. Seems like we’ll get along.”

“Human, do not presume that you will die a simple death after slighting us!”

“Yes. You really need to learn your place.”

“I should be saying that about you guys. Don’t get so ahead of yourselves just because you made Loser(Bizef) faint.”

My provocation met with the dokyun’s bloodlust, and the atmosphere turned critical.

“”You’re going to die!””

That shout from both sides served as the signal that raised the curtains on my battle with the Demonic Evil Three.

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<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter> 

I’ve decided to start translating 近衛 and 親衛隊 differently. The first is ‘Household Guard’, and each of the Six Demon Generals has one. The second is Shineitai, translated as ‘Praetorian Guard’, and is the term that people use for those idol otaku fan clubs. I have changed everything in previous chapters to match this chapter.

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Chapter 21 – “My companions are a dog and a loser. What do I do?”

The Demonic Evil Three attack!

Pervert(Nielsen)’s friend, Belnandes suddenly came with an emergency report. For some reason this guy gives the same scent as Pervert(Nielsen). Birds of a feather flock together, huh.

“Good work, Bel. And so, when will the dokyun be arriving?”

“Milady. I believe they will arrive at the Beruga plains within a few hours.”

“Got it. Timu, wait here, okay? Niel and I will ambush the dokyun.”

“Please wait, Oneesama. Meagre though my power may be, I will head to the frontlines as well.”

“No, Timu. It’s too dangerous to get close to the dokyun!”

“I understand that it is dangerous. However, I want to help you if only a little, Oneesama.”

Timu, what cute things you say! You’re going to pull my heartstrings!

But it really is dangerous. No matter how good Timu is with magic, she’s still just a fourteen year old child. If those dokyun spot a bishoujo like Timu, they’ll definitely make a pass at her. Unmistakably.
Well, having said that, I’m a bishoujo as well, so they’ll probably aim for me too. But I’m prepared. I’ll turn the tables on them. The plan is set. It’s dangerous, so I need to have Timu hide at the shop.

“Timu, I’m happy for your feelings. I know that you’re strong as well. But you know, it might sound harsh, but the dokyun are too much for you.”

“I understand your worries, Tilea-sama. We deeply understand their danger. However, I believe that makes Camilla-sama’s help all the more necessary.”

When I warned Timu, Pervert(Nielsen) cut in from the side.

Mm~mn, it’s true that Pervert(Nielsen) has a point as well. Pervert(Nielsen) and I are close combat types. It would help a lot to have a backline support type. Maybe I really should have Timu support us with long-range magic after all.

If Pervert(Nielsen) and I get done in, in the end Timu will have to face off with the dokyun anyway, right?

…Okay. Let’s go with that. I’ve decided!

Whether she fights with the dokyun, or runs away from the dokyun, the difference between whether or not we have backline support is huge. Timu runs fast, and if it comes to it, I can just tell her to escape. And if by some chance they go for Timu first, I’ll just bet my life to stop them. After that, I’ll just have Timu attack them with her elementary magic, but…

I wonder how that’ll go.

I’ve taken one of Timu’s magic bullets before. It hurt quite a bit. I think it’ll work pretty well on the dokyun as well, but…

If I remember correctly, Pervert(Nielsen) knows the dokyun, so maybe I’ll ask him.

“Niel, would Timu’s magic work on the dokyun?”

“Camilla-sama can use the strongest magic from ancient times. Were the enemy simply any strong warrior, there would be no problem. However, the enemy this time are the heaven-sent children of destruction, the Demonic Evil Three. My deepest apologies. I am unable to make a judgement.”

“Oneesama, please do not worry. I have powered up since last time. I will certainly not do something as foolish as holding you back, Oneesama.”

Timu ardently appealed to me. Right. If we sisters combine our power, we’ll make short work of them. Timu, I’ll be borrowing your strength.

“Thanks, Timu. I’m reluctant to do so, but I’ll be having you help out, okay? But if it gets dangerous, drop everything and run.”

“I will not do something such as deserting Oneesama and fleeing.”

“No. It’s an order. If you feel any danger, run away immediately. You’re more important to me than anything else, after all.”

“O-, Oneesama. S-, Such words are too good for me! To think that you thought so much of me… I, I… I am deeply moved.”

Timu became teary-eyed, and trembled with emotion. Geez, Timu. That much is obvious, isn’t it. I’m your older sister, after all.

“Niel, if the time comes, take Timu and escape. When push comes to shove, I’ll get the job done somehow.”

“Milady. However…”

“Niel, aren’t you Timu’s loyal servant! Follow my order. Or could it be that you don’t trust in me?”

“I would not think of such a thing.”

“Then I’ll be leaving it to you, okay?”

“Yes milady. I shall comply with certainty. Please leave Camilla-sama to me. I shall risk my life to protect her. Please wield your power as much as you desire, Tilea-sama.”

“Mn, leave it to me. I’ve got a plan after all.”

If it comes down to it, while I buy time, I’ll have Pervert(Nielsen) take Timu away. At the time, they can just call the rest of the townspeople. The people in this town are usually gentle, but when it comes down to it, there are plenty of them that are strong in fights. And there are all the people of Timu’s praetorian guard too, after all. We have quite the force in numbers.

Hu hu, we’ll gang up on them in huge numbers and beat the crap out of them! Damned dokyun, I won’t let you call it cowardly!

Well, that’s a last resort. As you’d expect, lynching them in huge numbers would make us the bad guys. First I’ll show them our power, and have a talk with them.
We are technically going to try talking it out first, and if we came in massive numbers, it would just spur them on. I’ll have everyone in the praetorian guard on standby near the shop.

“Niel, tell the praetorian guard to stand by near the shop.”

“Understood. Adding half-baked war potential would simply put the troops in danger, and is not a good idea. I approve of your plan on going with just an elite few, Tilea-sama.”

Mmn, that’s not actually what it is. You’re just here to make up the numbers you know. But well, I have no intention of telling Pervert(Nielsen) the truth and demotivating him.

“Well then, I have a little somewhere to visit, so I’ll be taking my leave. You two gather at the Beruga Plains.”

“Understood.”

“Yes, Milady!”

Alright. Next is to put Plan Number 2 into motion.

I headed to the guard station to call Loser(Bizef). He should be on duty today, so he should be in…

Arriving at the guard station, I searched for him.

“Excuuuse me. Is Bizef-san in?”

“Hey, Tilea-chan. What’s wrong?”

“Bizef-san, it’s what I mentioned the other day. The delinquents have come. Please help us.”‘

“Got it. Leave it to me. Mind showing me to where they are?”

Hearing my words, Loser(Bizef) cracked his knuckles. Looks like he’s pumped to give the delinquents a beating. I’m happy that he’s enthusiastic, but is he planning on going with just those cloth clothes? He’ll be done in.

“Wait, wait! Bizef-san, let’s go grab the armour from last time!”

“Ah-, r-, right. But I don’t think the armour will be necessary. Isn’t it fine to go without?”

“Bizef-san, you did promise to lend me armour, didn’t you?”

“G-, Got it. I got it. Guess it can’t be helped. Well then, follow me.”

Loser(Bizef) wasn’t eager to lend me the armour. While he was guiding me there, he mumbled in complaint.

It was probably the pride of having to put on armour just for a few delinquents, and more important than anything was that he didn’t want me to dirty his rare gear by wearing it.

After all, the things in Loser(Bizef)’s armour room were all sparkling clean. This is why I hate collectors. If you’re going to be like this, then buy three for “preserving”, “using” and “lending”!

Aah~ but I guess when it comes to rares, it really would be difficult to have three of them.

When we got to Loser(Bizef)’s house, I immediately borrowed the bracers and chainmail and equipped them.

Ooh~ I feel kind of like an adventurer now. I gave kicking, and waving my arm a try.

Haha, Evil God Dark Matter has arrived!

Feeling like my old self again, I started running about.

“Tilea-chan, Tilea-chan, don’t move around so much. You’ll scratch them. Aah~ you scraped the bracers against the wall. Stop! Stop!”

Loser(Bizef)’s expression changed, and he stopped me.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, I get how you feel, but these are supposed to be rares!

If it gets scratched from just this kind of movement, they’re fakes, you know. To begin with, are you trying to tell me not to move at all? No way. I’m going to run about as much as I want. I’ll go wild.

“Bizef-san, if I’m paying attention to the armour, I won’t be able to move.”

“Right. Then maybe just take off the armour already? Hey, hey, I’ll help you take it off.”

Saying that, Loser(Bizef) tried to take off my clothes. His hands approached my chest. Oi, oi, are you intending on touching my breasts?

“…If you don’t cut it out, I’ll get angry, you know.”

“A, haha. I-, I was just kidding, Tilea-chan. Anyway, shall we go!?”

Honestly, this damned Loser(Bizef). When it comes to weapons, the look on his face changes. He very nearly ended up sexually harassing me.

Pulling myself back together, I headed to the Beruga Plains with Loser(Bizef).

I wonder if Pervert(Nielsen) and Timu are already there.

Arriving at Beruga Plains, I looked about.

Oh! Pervert(Nielsen) was there.

Pervert(Nielsen) was standing on the plains, looking needlessly cool. Even though he’d make a fantastic picture with his dandyism if he would just keep his mouth shut like that…

“You’ve come, Niel. Where’s Timu?”

“Why if it isn’t Tilea-sama. Camilla-sama is already on standby in the thicket behind us.”

“Just as planned, huh?”

“Yes. All that remains is to wait for them to come.”

Alright, well then, the frontline and backline are both in position. If it devolves into a fight with the dokyun, I’ll have Timu fire magic bullets from the back.

“If I remember right, this person was… the new worker at your shop, right, Tilea-chan? Nice to meet you. I’m Bizef, a guard in this town.”

Saying that, Loser(Bizef) started a conversation with Pervert(Nielsen).

Aah, speaking of which, this is their first meeting isn’t it. Maybe I should introduce them to each other.

“Bize――”

“Human, do not speak so familiarly with me. And what’s more, what a tone to use with Tilea-sama. There should be limits to your disrespect. Before the battle, shall I offer you as sacrifice to the War God!”

“W-, What the hell! The one who suddenly got rude was you!”

Oi, oi, oi, don’t just suddenly start a fight. Loser(Bizef) and Pervert(Nielsen) were just about to explode. What the heck are you doing by suddenly causing a falling out? Even though our war potential was doubtful to begin with…

Honestly, why did Pervert(Nielsen) do something like――wait, hang on, that’s right. Pervert(Nielsen) was a chuunibyou who paid no attention to the time or place, and bit at everyone without care. He’s been behaving recently so I forgot, but Pervert(Nielsen) was a hardcore chuunibyou who suddenly attacked me on our first meeting. Leaving that chuunibyou incident aside for now, I’d better stop the fight, huh.

“Hang on, you two. Stop fighting.”

“Tilea-sama, why do you cover for this garbage?”

Nah, I mean, it’s true that this guy is a loser, but you don’t need to go as far as calling him garbage.

“Garbage, you say! Even if I look like this, I’m still Guard Captain of this town. Back when I was an adventurer, I was even knighted you know. Do you want me to throw you in jail for disrespect!”

Aaah~ Now Loser(Bizef) is getting heated up.

“Bizef-san, I’ll be troubled if you throw one of our staff in jail. I’ll apologise in his stead, so won’t you forgive him?”

“Tsk. I was a bit immature as well, huh. You. I’ll forgive you this once in deference to Tilea-chan. Watch how you speak next time!”

“Hu hu, it would affect my honour as the Camilla Unit’s Household Guard Captain if I allowed myself to be made this much a fool by some garbage. Tilea-sama, may I have permission to clean up?”

“Still saying that, bastard!”

Loser(Bizef) was indignant and tried to grab Pervert(Nielsen).

“Dahhhhhh! Niel, stop that already! Bizef-san, please wait a moment.”

I stopped it just as it very nearly turned into a fight, and called for Pervert(Nielsen) a little distance away from Loser(Bizef).

“Niel, come here.”

“Milady.”

“I’m not going to ask why you said that kind of thing. I already know your personality quite well, after all. But you know, it’ll trouble me if you get in the way of my strategy.”

Plan Number 2. The plan to borrow Loser(Bizef)’s authority as a guard would be ruined.

“O-, Of all things I was obstructing your strategies… M-, My deepest apologies. I had not even considered that that garbage could have been related to your battle plans.”

“It’s fine as long as you understand. Be careful next time, okay?”

“Yes milady! I shall not err a second time. And so, would it be permissible to hear the contents of the strategy so as to not obstruct you again?”

“Well, it’s just a little test. I wanted to see whether or not the Guard Captain’s strength would work on the dokyun.”

“I see. Measuring the war potential of the humans, is it? As expected of Tilea-sama. To think that you have already begun planning for the war with the humans.”

Huu~ Chuuni-esque as usual. It’s already getting tiresome to translate. For now, I’m fine as long as he doesn’t get in the way of the plan. I’ll just give him any old response.

“Well, basically.”

“However, I wonder if that garbage will be of any use. From what I can see, he does not appear strong enough to even face the Demonic Evil Three.”

Mu!? Pervert(Nielsen) hit where it hurt. That’s true. When it comes to Loser(Bizef), there’s plenty enough probability that the dokyun will scare him.

“Niel, I’ve suspected that as well. I thought of this as trying it out just in case it really did work.”

“So that is how it was. I shall abide by your will, Tilea-sama.”

“Tilea-chan, are you done talking?”

Timing it so that it was just when I was done talking with Pervert(Nielsen), Loser(Bizef) called out to me.

“Oi, garbage! Be as useful to Tilea-sama as garbage can be, before you die!”

“W-, What was that!”

Aah~ Damn Pervert(Nielsen) at it again. Picking a fight already. He didn’t understand what I told him at all. Can’t be helped. I’ll persuade Loser(Bizef) instead.

“Bizef-san, Bizef-san, please come here for a moment.”

This time I called out to Loser(Bizef).

“That man-! I endured because I was in front of you, Tilea-chan, but I can’t forgive him anymore!”

“Bizef-san, I’ll say it as many times as you want, so please forgive him.”

“But you know, Tilea-chan…”

“Please listen, Bizef-san. That man is a very disappointing one. Truly, truly, disappointing… As an adult, please deal with him magnanimously.”

I told Loser(Bizef) about just what a disappointing and chuuni NEET he was. About how despite having no ability, he would bite at anybody without care like a mad dog.

“A-, A man like that actually exists?”

“He does. And even though he’s almost 60, he’s never worked a day in his life. You can understand the hardship and pain, right?”

It seems that even Loser(Bizef) was astounded. Obviously. But in my eyes, you’re quite a match for him.

“G-, Got it. There’s no way a guy like that knows how to behave as an adult. You’ve got your troubles too, huh, Tilea-chan.”

It seems that I somehow got him to understand. Honestly, I’m already exhausted before the fight with the dokyun. This is why chuunibyou are problems without end.

“Tilea-sama, have you finished speaking?”

“Yes, we came to an understanding.”

“By the way, there is something I would like to ask you, Tilea-sama.”

“Wha~at?”

“Milady. Why are you wearing such shabby equipment? Is this also part of the strategy?”

“What? You just said something I can’t overlook!”

This is bad. It’s a topic that touches Loser(Bizef)’s heartstrings. It feels like he’s going to fly into a rage again because somebody spoke badly of his collection.

“Garbage. Do not interrupt my conversation with Tilea-sama.”

“Hmph. Ignorance really is terrifying. I was a former adventurer, you know. What’s more, I was one of the ten youngest in history to be conferred a knighthood. You get it now? You don’t, do you. After all, I heard from Tilea-chan that you were incurably stupid. But if you get too ahead of yourself, I don’t mind teaching you.”

“Garbage, do not speak any further. Tilea-sama, may I have permission to learn the details of the strategy?”

“You seriously have no idea about the value of things, so I’ll teach you. The equipment that Tilea-chan is wearing right now are all rares. Even with a hundred gold coins, you wouldn’t be able to buy them, you know.”

Loser(Bizef) really hates people finding fault with his collection, huh. He’s insistently arguing with Pervert(Nielsen). It seems that Pervert(Nielsen) is completely set on ignoring him. At this rate, they’ll start fighting again.

“Niel, don’t ignore him and answer.”

“Yes, milady.”

Pervert(Nielsen) turned to Loser(Bizef).

It seems that he’ll listen to me. I wish Loser(Bizef) would learn his obedience.

“Garbage, what ‘rare’. Third-rate scrap like this wouldn’t be worn even by the lowest ranking soldiers in our unit.”

“Y-, You’ve sure said it now. Then what’s ‘rare’ to you, huh?”

“『The Spear of Rogo Logi』, 『Demonic Sword Exzaibur』, 『The Shield of Raigius』 for example, all splendid weapons. I have seen them only once, in the treasury in the Demon Capital.”

“Pfft-, HAH HAH HAH! I was wondering what you were going to say, but it was just ridiculousness. Aren’t they all legendary mythical weapons? Listing nothing but things we aren’t even sure exist. You have head issues!”

Whoa, whoa, Loser(Bizef). That’s quite right, but you’re being too blunt. Be a little more indirect about it. And you went too far. Even if he looks like this, Pervert(Nielsen) has things he’s completely earnest about too. He kept Timu company in her games quite a bit, after all.

“Bizef-san, you said too much. Please don’t make fun of my employees too much.”

“Haha, sorry, sorry. When it comes to weapons, I just get a bit too passionate…”

Was Loser(Bizef) also taken about by Pervert(Nielsen)’s crazy words? The anger from just now settled down. Haah~ I wonder if they’ve made up for now.

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<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter> 

Tekkou or knuckle weapons

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Chapter 20 – “It’s important to prepare before a battle, isn’t it.”

In order to prepare for the battle, I headed to the guard station where Loser(Bizef) was working.

Loser(Bizef) owes me because of the incident with Garm. As for why, it’s because during the Garm incident, I carried the unconscious Loser(Bizef) all the way back to the guard station. Well, I very nearly forgot about him and almost went home by myself though…

Honestly, even though he went on about how he would “Give Garm a warning!” in the end he wasn’t useful in the slightest. He was really nothing but baggage. I want him to show me that he can act like a former adventurer this time.

With those kind of slight hopes, I got quite close to the guard station when I suddenly heard some kind of argument.

――Mn!? What’s going on?

The people stationed were in a clamour. I decided to ask George-san, the one who took care of the documents here, about what was going on.

“George-san, did something happen?”

“Ah-, Tilea-chan. You came at the right time.”

“Heh? Did you need me for something?”

“Please say something to stop him as well, Tilea-chan. Bizef-san won’t listen to us, and keeps saying that there’s a dragon near town, and how he’s going to call for reinforcements from the capital.”

Hahh? Loser(Bizef), what the heck are you doing!

I’m sure I gave the other guards a rough explanation when I carried Loser(Bizef) into the station. It wasn’t a dragon, just a little puppy. Did Loser(Bizef) properly listen to the other people at the station?

Loser(Bizef) was trying to leave for the capital even now. With his travel gear on, and gallantly straddling his horse, he even looked like an adventurer… So disappointing.

Now that’s it’s come to this…

The other staff members were desperately trying to stop Loser(Bizef) from being rash. I could hear his conversation with the others.

“Bizef-san, please stop. The other men in town tried searching for it, but there wasn’t any dragon nearby like you said, you know.”

“Right, right. Around here we just get small animals at best.”

Everyone searched…?

Even though they had their work at the guard station, he spread completely nonsensical information. Thanks to Loser(Bizef), they all had a hard time.

“I already told you! That just meant it went somewhere. If we don’t hurry up and deal with it, there’s going to be victims throughout the country!”

“Move, you say… There weren’t any tracks, or any eyewitnesses either, you know.”

“Eyewitnesses? How many times have I told you already, I saw it myself!”

Loser(Bizef) yelled, almost mad. It seems that because Loser(Bizef) used to be an adventurer, the other staff members couldn’t strongly refute him.

“Bizef-san has been like this the whole time… He isn’t listening to us at all.”

“It seems not.”

“We’re really troubled. If we call an emergency meeting in the capital and they find out it’s false information, what kind of punishment will they give our town?”

“I understand. Please leave it to me, George-san.”

George-san’s worries are spot-on. I can’t let the town be troubled because of Loser(Bizef). I’ll try explaining again.

Agitated, I circled around so I was right in front of Loser(Bizef).

“Bizef-san, please stop!”

“Tilea-chan, so you’ve come. I’m sorry. I didn’t believe you. That really was a dragon. Since it was a dragon and a dragon user, there’s no mistake that the demons have appeared. That’s why I fainted that time, because of the demon’s miasma. I have to hurry up and make an emergency announcement for the whole country!”

Huu… What demon miasma! What the heck is a former adventurer doing getting influenced by illusion magic?

“Biiizeeef-san, that was illusion magic.”

“Tilea-chan, I’m a former adventurer. Illusion magic wouldn’t work on me so easily. So I’m sure that was a real dragon. It’s definitely the demons.”

Ahh, geez. Loser(Bizef) is oddly self-confident out here in countryside. It’s because  he got pampered by everyone around him for being a former adventurer, after all. He’s completely filled with confidence right now that illusion magic definitely wouldn’t work on him. Honestly, even though he doesn’t have any real ability.

“That wasn’t a dragon. After all, didn’t we come home safely!”

“W-, Well yeah, but… W-, We just happened to be lucky.”

Oi, oi, getting targeted by a dragon and demon, and getting away? Just how lucky would we need to be!

Is Loser(Bizef) understanding that he’s not making any sense?

“If we were targeted by a demon, there’s no way we’d make it out alive, right? And even Timu and the others said that it wasn’t a dragon.”

“Eh-! Timu-chan went there too?”

“Yes. I told you earlier, didn’t I? That person was Timu’s playmate. After you fainted, Bizef-san, she brought along her pet dog and they played together.”

“T-, That can’t be… Really?”

“Really. I’m not lying.”

“Ha-, haha. T-, That’s weeeird. It looks like I’m getting rusty. To have illusion magic work on me, and even faint from it…”

Loser(Bizef) smiled wryly and scratched his head. His confused state definitely didn’t look like a former adventurer. You’re the Guard Captain in this town, okay? And now you’ve disturbed the peace of the town. Honestly, please get your act together.

I looked at Loser(Bizef) with a cold gaze. George-san and the other staff members were astounded as well.

“Ha ha ha. Sorry for the fuss, everyone. It seems that it was my misunderstanding.”

“Bizef-san, please make this the last time.”

“Even if you’re half asleep, you can’t go too far.”

“Really, really. Please don’t drink so early in the morning.”

The staff members criticised him one after another. Obviously. He had all the guard members go searching for a puppy after all. I’m sure they’re tired from searching all night. Especially tired after they found out that it was all pointless effort.

And so, after they finished complaining, everyone headed back to work, with expressions that seemed to say ‘Honestly…’.

Thank you for your work, everybody. I’ll bring everybody some refreshments sometime.

“Damn~ I wonder if I hurt my old wounds.”

Immediately, excuses. What ‘old wounds’!

Speaking frankly, jumping into excuses like that is the sign of being a loser.

“A-, And also, I wasn’t wearing magic resistance armour that time. That person who played the prank on you was definitely a famous adventurer. Mn, there’s no mistake.”

“Yea~h. I’m sure he was definitely a famous adventurer. Instead of subjugating monsters or performing research, he prioritised playing with Timu. What a hard worker.”

“Uu-!? I-, I’m sure that he was getting hints for his research by playing with children.”

Loser(Bizef) fired off one excuse after another.

At this rate, the success of Plan Number 2 is looking doubtful. I decided that it was better to switch to Plan Number 3 in my mind.

“T-, Tilea-chan. Don’t look at me so doubtfully. Aah, speaking of which, you carried me here when I fainted, didn’t you. Thanks.”

“That’s fiiiine. Please don’t mind such a small matter. More importantly, Los――I mean, Bizef-san, there’s a small favour I’d like to ask.”

“Tilea-chan, just now, didn’t you almost say something? It can’t be that it was ‘Loser’ wa――”

“Ahhh~ Geez, more importantly, please listen to me. In Timu’s playgroup there were these delinquents, and it seems that they’re coming here to start some trouble.”

“Really? We can’t let that go. Leave it to me. I’ll definitely protect you.”

“I’m honestly relying on you, okay? Also, please make sure to bring armour this time.”

“Armour-…? I don’t really think that I need armour just for delinquents.”

“Bizef-san, isn’t there a saying about not taking chances? What are you going to do if they use illusion magic again!”

“G-, Got it. I think you’re exaggerating though.”

“Also, I have one more favour to ask. Please lend me armour as well.”

“Eh-, Tilea-chan, you don’t need armour, you know. I’ll be there after all.”

“Le, nd, some, to, me, please.”

After talking with him, I’m sure now. I can’t rely on Loser(Bizef) any more. It would be safer to go in with the mentality that I’ll need to fight, myself. So I need him to lend me armour no matter what.

“G-, Guess it can’t be helped, huh. I owe you after all, so I’ll give you a chance to try wearing armour.”

Loser(Bizef) reluctantly agreed, so I had him guide me to his house before he changed his mind.

Since Loser(Bizef) was a former adventurer if nothing else, he had lots of different weapons and armours. And they were being stored in his house’s storehouse.

I entered the storehouse while listening to his bragging and,

“A-, Amazing. You have so much.”

I was shocked…

In the storehouse were things from swords, spears, axes to armours, helmets, all sorts of things decorating the room. And they were all differently coloured too, as well as differently modelled. And there were even things like mannequins standing dignified.

Whoa, isn’t this a full set of plate armour? Rather than having stuff because he’s an adventurer, isn’t this guy just a weapon fanatic?

These items are completely beyond just the level of a hobby. Even though it would’ve been great if he just opened a weapon store instead of working as Guard Captain…

“Hu hu, are you surprised, Tilea-chan? They’re all things from my days as an adventurer, and I just couldn’t part with them, you see. Before I knew it, I had this many.”

Yeah, I’m surprised. Quite the collector. I’m sure he ignored adventures in favour of going shopping for all of this.

Well, it helped out this time though. I guess your equipment makes a huge difference in battle after all. I’m just a normal person. There’s no choice but to cover for my lack in stats with my equipment.

Alright. Since I’m doing it anyway, let’s try and borrow something as expensive as possible!

Mm~mm, which should I pick?

Ah-!? I think I might have found something good…

There were stands in the back of the room, and on them were some items displayed in cases. They looked precious, placed inside the polished glass cases, and were completely different from the rest of the things in the room. I can smell rares.

“Well then, Bizef-san, please lend these 『bracers』 and this 『chain mail』 to me.”

“T-, That’s a little much. Both the 『Bracers of Regius』 and the 『Chain Mail of Magimades』 are rares.”

“So they really were rares. Then I’ll go with these. Please lend them to me.”

“T-, Tilea-chan, these are for admiring, and not really for actual use.”

So Loser(Bizef) really was a collector. What the heck do you mean ‘for admiring’. Weapons are made to be used. If you use them and they get a little dirty, that just makes them more valuable.

“Bizef-san, didn’t you say that I wouldn’t need to fight? In that case, I won’t be actually using them, so please lend them to me.”

“B-, But I’ll be troubled if they get dirty, so…”

“S-, So cruel… Are you saying that I’m dirty!”

I appealed to Loser(Bizef) with teary eyes. With such intensity that I was basically implying ‘saying indelicate things to a girl will get you hated’.

“G-, Got it. You won’t actually be fighting after all, so I’ll lend them to you.”

“Thank you very much.”

Yes! Best gear GET!

Huhu, with this I can feel a little more relaxed.

“Honestly, I really can’t win against you, Tilea-chan. To put on rare gear for just a few delinquents.”

“Then if I wear this, will I be immune to the delinquents’ attacks?”

“Completely, completely. Rather, if the delinquents attack, it’ll be them that gets hurt.”

“That’s amazing.”

If Loser(Bizef) is telling the truth, then even if the dokyun attack me, there’s nothing to be afraid of at all. The chance of victory has definitely incre――hang on a moment.

My defence has increased, but what about my offence?

I had a look to see if there was anything else rare.

Mn!? There’s something that seems to be good over there.

I discovered a knuckle weapon that was clearly being treated preciously, placed inside a case. There were two layers of glass, and it was beautifully wrapped in cloth. From this, I could tell that it was pretty valuable.

“Bizef-san, while we’re at it, please lend me these 『knuckles』 as well.”

“T-, Tilea-chan, we aren’t going on an adventure. Even if it’s you, Tilea-chan, if you put that on and hit somebody, they’ll die, you know.”

“Ehh-!? Even with my strength!?”

“Mn, those knuckles are a magic tool called the 『Knuckles of Burst Earth』. It adds to your strength, as well as adding the power of magic to your attack. So no matter how weak you are, Tilea, the power of the magic itself is quite strong, so it’ll have quite the attack power.”

“How much attack power?”

“Hmmm, let’s see. If you put those on, even you, Tilea-chan, would probably be able to kill a small magic beast.”

“It’s that amazing a weapon!?”

“Mn, it’s a precious weapon that enters even in the top three of all the weapons I own. In order to buy this, I had to use all the money I had saved at the time, you see.”

“Haha, I can tell that it’s amazing just hearing that. It’s true that if I use this weapon, I’ll knock out delinquents in one hit, maybe even kill them, huh.”

“That’s right. Well, I’ll lend you the armour, so I’ll take care of that dangerous weapon, okay?”

I suppose it can’t be helped. No thank you, to being a murderer. But I’ll have Loser(Bizef) equip the knuckles instead. I really can’t feel at ease unless Loser(Bizef) comes with the strongest equipment.

“Well then, once the delinquents come I’ll call you, so please help me with the rest.”

“Yeah, leave it to me.”

After making an arrangement with Loser(Bizef), I returned to the shop.

For now, although I’m still somewhat anxious, the preparations are ready for Plan Number 2. I’ll begin on the finishing touches for Plan Number 3.

First, with the armour that Loser(Bizef) lent me, my defence alone has increased. With this, the attacks from the dokyun shouldn’t work on me.

Then what about my offence?

Loser(Bizef)’s weapons really were too powerful and would be quite liable to kill somebody, so I couldn’t borrow them. Or rather, it might be different for armour, but weapons need a degree of skill to handle. No matter which weapon I chose, I wouldn’t have been able to use it properly.

And of course not. I’m not an adventurer. I’m just a mere cook!

――It can’t be helped. I suppose I have no choice but to unseal my dark history.

Now is the time to undo the seal.

I looked for two suitable metal poles in the shop storehouse, and tied them together with a cord of suitable length. Indeed. The so-called “nunchaku”.

In my past life when I was a hikikomori NEET, there was a time when I was mad about nunchaku. I didn’t go to school, nor to work, and did nothing but wholeheartedly train with my mail-order nunchaku. While watching Bruse Li’s nunchaku course, I single-mindedly endeavoured in my “HACHAA!” “OCHAAA!” training.

Heh. I’m sure this world has never seen such techniques before. There’s no doubt that even those dokyun will get cold feet. If they mistake me for a famous martial artist, even better.

…They’ve, probably never seen nunchaku, right?

Maybe I should test it. I decided to call in Pervert(Nielsen) to show him a demonstration.

“Tilea-sama, I have arrived at your call.”

“Oneesama, what is it that you are doing?”

Ah-, not just Pervert(Nielsen), but Timu too? It’s my dark history, so I’d prefer the smallest gallery possible, but…
Well, whatever. There’s no way I can drive out my beloved sister.

“Niel, Timu. Watch. I want you to give me your impressions on the techniques I’m about to use.”

“Yes milady.”

“Understood.”

Alright. Recall them. Bruse-san’s nunchaku techniques!

The memories of my old life came to mind.

And then…

“Fuooooooh, hai! Hai! Hai! Hai! Fuo! HACHAA! OCHAA!”

Thank goodness. I didn’t forget my old memories. I managed to flourish the nunchaku the way I envisioned.

Downwards swing. Side strike. Right armpit stance. Right diagonal swing. I chained techniques one by one. The image in my head was a scene from “Enter! Dragon!”.

“M-, Magnificent, Oneesama! What is this technique called?”

“K-, Killer Nunchaku.”

Ah-, crap-… I accidentally blurted the chuuni-esque name that I gave it in my old life.

“I am filled with deep emotion at being able to witness such a grand technique, Tilea-sama! 『Killer Nunchaku』. Truly a martial art that unifies attack and defence.”

“I too, feel the same, Nielsen. I am truly moved. And, Oneesama, how many opponents did you defeat with this 『Killer Nunchaku』?”

“W-, Who knows… Just how many, I wonder.”

“As expected of Oneesama. To think that you had slain too many opponents to count with that 『Killer Nunchaku』.”

“『Killer Nunchaku』. I have never witnessed such an amazing technique before. For creating such a skill, I once again express my deep respect for Tilea-sama.”

S-, Stop it. Please don’t say that name any more. It feels each time you use that name, my spirit is being gouged

And so, my spirit was worn down as I spoke with Timu and Pervert(Nielsen) for a while, but I managed to understand that apparently these nunchaku techniques were unknown in this world. It was Pervert(Nielsen)’s impression though, so I can’t really say I have much confidence in myself.

But for now, the preparations are ready.

Come whenever you like, Demonic Evil Three!

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I don’t think it’s possible, but just in case it was lost on anyone, “Enter! Dragon!” is a parody of “Enter the Dragon!” and Bruse Li is a parody of Bruce Lee

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<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter> 

Chapter 19 – Heaven-Sent Children of Destruction, the Evil Demonic Three

It was a room in the castle of the Demon King Army. Hidler, Poe and Luxembourg had begun the ceremony for unsealing the Evil Demonic Three.

“Poe, Luxembourg, concentrate your mana!”

“”Yessir!””

The incredible mana of the Demon King Army caused the room to be filled with thick miasma. The mana that was already filled to the brim was added to by Hidler himself.

The seal placed by Demon King Zorg was a powerful prison unable to be unsealed even with a team of famous experts. It wasn’t something the average expert could easily meddle with. Even if they did try to meddle with it, they would likely be sucked into the prison, soul and all. But with extraordinary monsters like Hidler pouring their mana in with all their strength, would the result still be the same…?

“Mnmuuu!”

“Hahhhh!”

“Nuohhh!”

With their three roars, the space began to oscillate. The dense miasma condensed further, and was noxious enough to be sinister.

“The time is now. By my name Hidler, I command you to release them!”

Hidler’s powerful and overpowering voice resounded through the room, before a pale blue flame appeared and enveloped the magic circle.

――――PISHI! GASHAN!
Cracks appeared in space, and from it descended three monsters. They had been released from Demon King Zorg’s seal.

“It has been a while, has it not. Seiryuu, Byakko, Suzaku.”

“Genbu… No, it was Hidler now, wasn’t it. Are you the one who released us from the seal?”

The man who spoke had sharp fangs and large blue wings that seemed to cover his body, and was a demon dragonoid named Seiryuu. Before the great war of old, he was famed as the Demonic Dragon King who led his 72 armies to eliminate many races.

“Honestly, Zorg-sama sure is intolerant, to seal us like that,”

Complaining was a 3 metre tall white tier, the demon beastman Byakko. Possessing another name, Demonic Beast King, he was a tyrannical being whose single roar was enough to instantly obliterate a small town.

“We have been sealed for a few thousands years, haven’t we. Zorg-sama is so cruel. I thought I would go mad from the hunger and boredom.”

Unlike her polite manner of speech, her true nature was brutal. Looking like a mix of a person and flame was the hellfire demon, Suzaku. She had reigned as a queen who manipulated flames and turned all to ash.

“Enough. I shall not allow further disrespect towards Zorg-sama. I shall now speak of the reason I unsealed you.”

“Hang on a little, Hidler. We just got released from the seal after thousands of years, you know. I’m starving.”

“Indeed. My belly is empty.”

“I feel hungry.”

Their three bellies grumbled in hunger, as they drooled. It seems they were starving. Eyes sparkling, they looked for prey.

“If you want food, then I shall prepare you some.”

“Haven’t you already prepared some!”

“What? Mu!?”

“Heh. Be still for a little!”

The azure dragon blade that he materialised was being held by Hidler’s neck. Seiryuu’s prided sword was able to cut up even dragons like tofu. It even pierced through Hidler’s armour, and had slightly cut into his skin.

“Please stay still for a while.”

Suzaku then bound the immobile Hidler in countless chains of flame. It was a technique that only she could use, and the surface of the chains were over a thousand degrees. A normal person bound by them would probably just dry up. What’s more, the strength of the chains was strong enough that even a hundred demons couldn’t break them.

“Ununu! You!”

Hidler mustered up his mana, but despite his will, the cursed bindings wouldn’t be so easily undone. Also, the more he struggled, the more tightly the chains cut into his body. You could see from this how nasty the strength of Suzaku’s mana was.

“””Well then, let’s eat!”””

And so, with Hidler the hindrance bound and immobile, the Demonic Evil Three began attacking the exhausted Demon King Army.

“Eh!? You guys――W-, What are you doing? Didn’t we undo the seal for you!”

“BASTAAAAARDS!”

Luxembourg and Poe screamed with expressions of shock. Perhaps they hadn’t ever imagined that the people they just saved would suddenly return kindness with cruelty, because the two Demon Generals were struck with a sudden attack.

“Heh heh heh, the first food in millenia.”

With a single slash, Seiryuu’s Azure Dragon Blade cut into Poe’s chest. It’s sharpness was outstanding. Poe’s tough skin was easily wounded, and fresh blood spurted.

“Guhu- Y-, You――”

“Ku ku. Pretty hard, arentcha!”

Seiryuu spoke while happily licking Poe’s blood. Even though he had attacked with enough power to split a demon in two, Poe had merely been wounded. Seiryuu smirked as though having found lively prey.

“AHAHAHAHHAAHA! You look delicious, Kitty!”

Suzaku created dozens of fireballs in an instant, and fired them towards Luxembourg. Each one of the fireballs was a scorching hot magic bullet of a thousand degrees. A normal person would vaporise on the spot if hit by one, and no matter how much of a monster one of the Six Demon Generals might have been, it was impossible for them to escape unscathed after being hit by them again and again.

“Hahh, hahh――T-, This isn’t a joke. S-, Somebody, it’s a state of emergency!”

Luxembourg made use of her natural burst strength and evaded the flames left and right. As a demonic beastman, she had more burst power than other species, and reigned top even amongst her own. Even when Suzaku fired countless fire bullets, she somehow managed to avoid them.

“GAHAHAHA! Darting around, huh, you tricky little cat!”

“GAAAAAH!”

While watching Suzaku and Luxembourg’s attack and defence, Byakko suddenly roared.

And in the next moment――

A number of swirling vortexes of pressure assaulted Luxembourg.

“Gahah-!”

Swallowed into one of the vortexes, Luxembourg was thrown against a wall. No matter how excellent her burst power was, it seems that while she was concentrated on Suzaku, she hadn’t paid attention to Byakko. She was struck by his attack head-on.

“Captain Poe, what is the matter?”

Hearing the screams of the Demon King Army, other troops had gathered. They had been forbidden by Hidler to come in, but hearing the many angry shouts and the sounds of impact, they couldn’t resist and came in. Worried for Poe and Luxembourg, they flew into the room one by one.

“Aha♪ Dinner has arrived.”

Suzaku happily created fireballs, and rained them upon the troops. The very moment that they entered the room, they were attacked by Suzaku’s magic bullets at ferocious speeds. The troops were burnt to death, one after another.

“G-, GYAHHH!”

“Higi――S-, Save me!”

Suzaku restrained the heat of her magic bullets as she fired. The troops were going to be their food, so she couldn’t very well turn them to ash, after all. The Demonic Evil Three began to eat the demons that had been cooked well.

“This one was a birdman. Yakitori. Yummy, yummy.”

“H-, How dare you do that to Bard!”

Drag roared, filled with rage for his dead companion. He was one of Poe’s household guards, and had the most physical strength after Poe. In the war of old, he had distinguished himself many times as Poe’s right hand man. That pride and conceit spurred him on. He attacked Byakko with his prided arms.

“W-, Wait, Drag!”

Even Poe himself had been no match for them. Drag’s strength was no threat to them. Unwilling to allow his important subordinate die a needless death, Poe frantically tried to stop him, but…

“This one is worth eating.”

Byakko crunched down on Drag’s attacking arm with ferocious fangs. The powerful arms that had killed a great many enemies in the war of old had been bitten off by Byakko.

“GUAHHH!”

Byakko then grabbed Drag’s head, and struck his fist towards Drag’s temple. The incredible impact broke his skull, and Drag fell to the ground, convulsing.

“Ku ku ku. Nothing but a good build.”

“Nununu!”

Byakko tore apart the fallen Drag and began feasting. Poe was filled with rage for the killing of his precious subordinate, but because he himself had been cut countless times by Seiryuu, he wasn’t able to move.

“HA HA HA HA! This is freaking delish!”

“Indeed. So famished that I could not wait.”

“It would be nicer if there was some salt.”

Those who were killed first, and then those who were killed as well while trying to avenge them. Even those who scrambled to run were killed… It was a hell of corpses.

“Hii. H-, How can you eat your own comrades in the Demon King Army!”

“S-, So this is the strength of the legendary Demonic Evil Three!”

Unrest spread through the Demon King Army as their companions were killed and eaten one after another. The troops’ eyes were filled with hatred for having their comrades or subordinates killed. And giving these troops a sideward glance were Seiryuu, Byakko, and Suzaku, but their feast wouldn’t end. They followed their instincts, and continued to eat the demons.

“BASTAAARDS! I, Hidler, shall not forgive further outrages!”

Having escaped the cursed flame chains, Hidler rushed towards the three. His eyes glinted sharply, and it felt like he would tear them to pieces any moment.

“Hidler, pretty fast aintcha. Seems like you’ve gotten stronger than before, ey.”

“Truly. I thought my cursed chains would last a few hours longer.”

“You lot, this is a warning. If you will not stop no matter what, I shall tear off my 『armour』 and show you my true ability. Know that our old friendship as the Four Heavenly Kings only goes this far!”

“Got it, got it. Don’t be so mad, Hidler. Suzaku, Byakko, let’s stop here. It’ll be annoying if Hidler seriously gets angry.”

“Understood. I had plenty just now. Ah-, but I really wanted to eat that kitty.”

“Tsk. Still a little hungry.”

The Demonic Evil Three reluctantly stopped their meal, and lent an ear to Hidler. Hidler seemed to still want to complain, but he couldn’t start any more quarrels, so he began to speak.

“…The reason you three have been unsealed is but one. In order to battle the Evil God.”

“Evil God? The heck is that? They strong enough to warrant unsealing us?”

“Evil God Tilea. This Evil God killed two of the Demon Generals, Kira and Garm.”

“Hahh~ The heck? I could tell from the battle just now. The quality of the Demon King Army has fallen.”

“Indeed. I wonder how many minutes the Evil God will last against us.”

“Huhu, I want to know how the Evil God tastes.”

The time of the Demonic Evil Three’s attack was approaching.

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