okie cool nani the hell not this place sucks Get. Out.
i have a tumblr post for this somewhere
okok (c) iguanamouth@tumblr
itll be okay
ur a sad butthole
but im sure one day nakama powa will come to u
since ur probably going to be talk no jutsued by naruto and stuffs eventually as u kill off the multiverse
unless u go for saitama in which case rip
I’ve surrendered.
where are ur white flags
u gotta have them
u gotta
nv mind
There isn’t a need for anymore senseless conflict.
i did not start the fight
…
…
…waaait i think i did
well darwinism
and it had sense
i took over ur page
u got mad
you were like
hoe dont do it
and i was like
looool
im doin it
and u cried
yeah
I’m tired.
yeup
join us!!
we’re colourful and ames fluffier than sheeprabbit onii-chan!
…Days after joining the tiny butt library Kingdom of Oniichanyamete…
…We—Jaon, Komorebi, and myself, Ame—tried to find a place for ourselves…
[komo note: we did; its basically the hut]
…However… Oh, hey, you highlight as you read like I do. Nice! …Or maybe that reader thingy I’ve heard about also shows white text.
WE WILL NOT STAND TO BE CALLED SLAVES!
WE SHALL REVOLT!
JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED!
Or maybe you were looking for imoutos.
BECAUSE
either way, your reward is having an inside joke! Yaaay!
THIS IS…
Keep it a secret, okay? I mean, don’t you just love inside jokes?
JOIN US!
Well, if you don’t,
FOR WE ARE…
Komorebi! AKA The Tootoosnairu! Jaon! AKA Sailor Tsuki
Ame! AKA Mew Berry, the Catrabbit NEKOOOUSAGEE!
you can just spill it after april fools end all over the world.
As we hijack this site, and make it our own… Because for some of us, it’s still March 31st (for now at least).
WE SHALL REBEL AGAINST THE GRAND ARBITER!
AGAINST THE SHEEPRABBIT!
AGAINST ONIICHAN!
Yet, we posted this today anyways.
AGAINST THE ONE WHO COULDN’T SEE THIS COMING
Am I spoiling the joke and mood by doing this?
Oh well. Whatever.
AHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
It’s April Fools! Let’s have fun with it!
*insert endless maniacal laugh here* Besides, it should have been reeeally obvious that this was a prank.
Kufufu… anyway, for those that found it,
Now, let the rebellion… please leave a “All Hail Anri-sama” or “All Hail Tilea-sama” or “All hail the Evil God!” in your comments to let me know! Or all three, if you prefer.
BEGIN!!!
It’ll be so random Please do so! Thank you! And may you be pranked on hard for the duration of April Fools! …To be continued…
Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!
First chapter of Arc 1! Enjoy guys!
Chapter 0 – Reunion (April Fools 2016)
The sound of footsteps on stone rang out at even intervals.
In the cold marble temple, each step echoed against the walls.
Before the staircase, those feet stopped.
The blonde girl looked up.
“Camilla. I’ve crawled back from Hell just to meet you.”
Her eyes flared with murderous hatred.
“Oneesama. How long it has been.”
The silver-haired girl, Camilla, mocked her from the dais above.
There was no change in the blonde girl’s expression.
“Where is Milia?”
“Heh,” Camilla sneered, “What if you looked for yourself?”
Wordlessly, the girl ascended the staircase. When she saw what awaited up top, her frozen form betrayed a faint but violent tremble.
“Milia…”
The cold glare, filled with malice, gave way to a helpless and heartbroken gaze.
Sitting quietly on a stone throne was a blonde woman, with dignified features, and slender, pointed ears.
For a moment, the blonde girl seemed to be a lost lamb, powerless before the unchangeable past.
But before half a beat had passed, Camilla had stepped to the side to block her view.
“Remilia has already long forgotten about you.”
Hatred, disbelief, despair, and then a precarious gratitude. In an instant, various emotions flashed through the girl’s blue eyes.
“It’s fine if you’ve forgotten me…”
The girl squeezed out the words.
“Just being alive… is enough for me…”
But Camilla laughed at the girl’s heartfelt words.
“Hahaha! Tilea,” Camilla’s eyes narrowed in mocking, “You are a woman who has already once lost to me. No matter how many times we repeat this, the result will remain the same.”
Tilea thought back to the past. Back to the words that Camilla had thrown at her after their brief exchange, as she lay dying on the ground.
『Oneesama. There is a fatal diffence between the two of us. SHOE-NEN(obsession). You lack SHOE-NEN(obsession).
The SHOE-NEN(obsession) to conquer the world.
The SHOE-NEN(obsession) to pick a side.
The SHOE-NEN(obsession) to keep the woman you love.』
Today was the first time she had seen Camilla again. Not even a little respect for her, remained in Camilla’s eyes.
As the two stared at each other silently, Camilla was the first to break the silence.
“Still,” her eyes narrowing in amusement, “It may yet be fun to crush you in front of your beloved woman again. AYAAAAAAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA!”
The silver-haired Camilla tore off her cape, and leapt into the air with a beautiful cry like a singing nightingale.
“WOOOOOOOOOOOR!”
Unwilling to lose, Tilea let out a cry no less beautiful, as she flipped backwards into the air to retreat.
The two landed gracefully in sync.
“Haha, only your skills at running away have improved. But the likes of you can never defeat my techniques.”
“…”
Tilea cracked her knuckles silently in response to Camilla’s mocking.
Camilla now stood in a fighting pose, her flattened hands moving in graceful but threatening undulations. Under the veil of darkness in the temple, it almost seemed like her hands phased from position to position.
Her beautiful pink lips curved yet further upwards.
“Huhuhu, Tilea, I will once again thrust you into hell.”
Before anybody could possibly reply, those dainty fingers shot out at near imperceptible speeds. Over and over, like countless rays of moonlight.
“WAYOWAHOYAWAHHHHHHHH!”
With a graceful cry, she brought those deadly strikes towards the stock still Tilea.
-DOSSHU-
But with a sound, those seemingly countless hands became just the two again, as Camilla’s left wrist was caught in the immovable vice-grip of Tilea’s right hand.
“Nuh-! Wha-!”
Touki(Fighting Spirit) visibly radiated off Tilea’s snow white skin, as she glared at Camilla like a crazed dragon.
“Y-, You truly are different to the old Tilea… Why?”
“SHOE-NEN(obsession). What changed me was the SHOE-NEN(obsession) that you taught me…”
The two of them stared off again in challenge, but under Tilea’s crushing grip, Camilla was the first to retreat.
Like a swan taking flight, she leapt back as though nothing could impede her movements.
“With the way I am now, someone like you isn’t a match for me. Give it up.”
Tilea spoke blandly.
“Hmph! HEHEHAHAHAH! WAATTAAA!”
Camilla’s beautiful face contorted with madness, as she suddenly attacked again.
But to no avail, as Tilea once again leapt back in an instant, as though she had never been there from the start.
Or so it seemed.
-GISHI-
A sickening sound rang out. It was the sound of something overcoming the adhesive bonds of blood and lymph, and new wounds opening up on Tilea’s chest. Horrid gash opened up on her soft, ample bosom, that now threatened to erupt from her tight, damaged blouse.
“Hehehe!” Camilla laughed in glee upon seeing this. “Your SHOE-NEN(obsession) does not amount to much.”
With fast, yet flowing footwork, Camilla circled about the wounded Tilea.
-lick-
Yet Tilea seemed to pay no heed to her mocking, and after touching her wound with her fingertips, she brought her fingers to her luscious lips.
For the first time, she took a stance. Unlike Camilla’s straight, but soft hands, her fingers were curved and spread apart, tensed into claws.
“Camilla. I have seen through all your movements. This is your loss.”
Tilea warned darkly.
“NUU! DO NOT LOOK DOWN ON MEEE!”
A flurry of non-linear slashes and thrusts assaulted Tilea. And yet, shockingly, she dodged every one of them with ease. Even when the arcs of Camilla’s unpredictable attacks seemed to form a cage, Tilea simply avoided them like a leaf in the wind.
-SLAP-
“WATTOOHHHH!”
Tilea landed a backhand slap on Camilla’s face, but before her sliding side kick could connect, Camilla had gracefully backflipped away several times with a cry, before leaping straight into the air.
Spreading her arms, Tilea shot up to follow.
“WAATAOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!”
“ATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!”
“WAAAACHAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!”
“WASHAASHAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!”
“WAAOOHAAOOHAAOOHHHHHH!!
“HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUWWWWW!!”
Graceful cries, like bells in the night air, echoed past the stone pillars, as each girl exchanged technique after technique in the air.
“YADAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”
“WATAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”
After a final volley of blows, both girls were sent flying back in mid-air. Landing against the vertical surface of two respective pillars, each girl thrust off like hunting hawks, to meet each other for one final airborne confrontation.
Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!
Chapter 8 – A Certain Undying Butler
“…………Hahhh.”
On the fifth floor of the Evil God Temple, the divine Anri sighed.
She then ran her finger along the window frame. There was dust. In a sense, you could call it the obvious result, but it didn’t used to be dusty.
The reason it was now, was because the human Anri had left with Tena.
“This is a grave situation.”
Among the necessities of life, “clothing” was still okay. Because her Black Rose Dress would automatically clean itself at certain times, far from washing her clothing, she didn’t even need to change it.
But “food” and “shelter” were different stories.
If you didn’t make the food, you wouldn’t have any. Unfortunately, Anri’s cooking skills were not that great. Her food wasn’t bad, but neither was it particularly good.
There was no need to even mention the other two gods here.
To begin with, members of the Divine Race sustained itself on faith, and did not need to eat like other beings. And because they neither needed to eat, nor were they capricious enough to learn on a whim, they had no cooking skills to speak of. There had to be some sort of drive or compulsion to obtain the skills to create something you didn’t even need.
Which meant that there was no reason for them to eat, except for pleasure.
Naturally they wanted to eat delicious things for their enjoyment, but Tena who used to prepare it was now gone, so their meals had become heartbreaking. Of course, there was still the option of simply not eating, but now that they had tasted the joys of eating, it was a little hard to go back.
Not only that, Evil God Temple or not, if nobody cleaned it it would naturally become dusty. After Anri became a divine, she could use brooms again now that she was free from her curse, but that didn’t mean that she wouldn’t stealthily escape when it came to cleaning the huge temple.
The living area of the Evil God Temple could only be said to comprise the 5th surface floor, and the 31st subterranean floor, but even those two alone formed quite a large area. Even Tena would have found it impossible to manage. So then how did they used to manage…? The answer was that it was because the place was still a dungeon. With the dungeon master skill, “Dungeon Create”, it was possible to restore the place at the expense of mana. Although you couldn’t say it was impossible to replicate this with a divine Authority, the Authorities had the disadvantage of being too powerful and difficult to moderate. After all, they were essentially abilities used to govern the world.
“The agenda of today’s meeting is to address our falling living standards.”
“Well, I do not mind, but…”
“I shouldn’t be talkin’, but dincha pick the wrong gods for this?”
Three gods sat around a circular table, beginning a ridiculous meeting.
“Well, gotta say, can’t argue with improving the food ‘ere. Your food ain’t bad but, it ain’t particularly good either.”
“I agree with him.”
Anri knew this herself, of course, but she did not find it amusing to have it told right to her face.
So she argued back.
“Deadbeats can’t be choosers. Why don’t you two make something then.”
“Can’t.”
“It is impossible for me.”
Anbaal and Sophia immediately rejected it.
Even Anri didn’t think they had an atom of cooking skill. She just wanted to say it. Because of that, she backed down with a sigh.
“Well? What are we gunna do now? It ain’t like I can’t drag a few people who can do housework, back from the Demon Territory, but…”
“It may be best that you refrain from that. It may become a problem to have new humans and demons here.”
“Ya think?”
“Yeah. After all, there’s this strange situation where all three rulers of the world are bunking together here…”
Anri agreed with Sophia’s words.
Very few people knew that Sophia and Anbaal were living at the Evil God Temple. If it was leaked to the world, other countries might even invade to secure the Thearchy for themselves.
“Which means,” continued Anri, “that it’s a matter of which one of the people living here can do housework.”
Considering the purpose was to put a lid on inconvenient information, it naturally excluded the believers, foreigners, humans and demons from the third surface floor down, as well. Which naturally meant that their options were extremely limited. Once you excluded the trio who left the temple with the human Anri, the only candidates left were the dungeon bosses.
“Vnee.”
“No way.”
“With its large body… To begin with, it is quadrapedal.”
They didn’t even have staff to select from.
Of course there was no way the 20-metre long Black Dragon Vardneel could possibly do cooking and cleaning.
“The Anreal Armour.”
“Still impossible.”
“I must conclude the same way.”
It was the same for the 5-metre tall orichalcum living armour. It was a little better than Vardneel in that it was the right shape at least, but it really was too large for housework.
To begin with, it had no ego, so cooking and the like was impossible.
“…Imperial Death.”
“…Certainly, at least his size is of no complaint, but…”
“…Think he can do it?”
All that was left was the last boss of the dungeon.
Anri, Sophia and then Anbaal all thought of him in their minds.
There was no problem with his size because he was the same size as humans and demons.
His shape was fine too, since he was humanoid.
But then, as to whether they thought he could cook and clean, the three gods really had no idea.
“Anyway, let’s ask him.”
With those words, Anri decided to call Imperial Death there.
◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆
“Well then, please enjoy.”
“…Yeah.”
“…Yeh.”
“…I-, I shall partake.”
The three gods were overwhelmed by the sight before them.
Just looking at how carefully made the various dishes were, they already seemed delicious. That alone was a good thing, but it gave them a massive shock that all this was created by an undead who looked basically like a skeleton. Particularly shocked was Anri, whose heart was in shreds from realising that she lost to him.
“Yummy.”
“Pretty good.”
“Quite delicious, isn’t it.”
And the taste of the food did not betray its appearance.
“I am humbly overjoyed by your words.”
Imperial Death gave a bow, with refined movements that brought to mind a skilled butler.
Not only that, but from start to finish, all his attention focused on Anri. Although he served food to Sophia and Anbaal as well, that was nothing more than giving face to Anri. All of his loyalty belonged solely to Anri.
Considering his history, you could say it was admirable that he wasn’t simply attacking the God of Light.
“Please entrust the cleaning to me as well.”
With that, Imperial Death spread his arms towards an empty space in the room.
“Come forth, my kin.”
Responding to the summons of the Emperor of the Undead, numerous undead appeared on the spot.
“Now, my kin. Polish every nook and cranny of this corner. For the sake of Anri-sama.”
With those words, the undead produced brooms and dust cloths from who knows where, and paying no heed to the dumbfounded gods, immediately scattered to clean.
The large Evil God Temple was cleaned up at incredible speeds by the power of numbers.
Skeletons swept the floors with brooms. Wraiths cleaned the walls with cloths. The whole thing was just surreal to watch, but there was no problem with the results.
In less than a moment, the 5th surface floor and 31st subterranean floors were spotless, and now sparkled like they were newly built.
“How was it?” said Imperial Death proudly.
Anri could only nod up and down in a daze.
“Not only this. Allow me to also receive guests and pass messages along, manage your schedule, deal with the defence, deal with the finances, and all the other odd jobs.”
“I-, I see…”
Why was this lofty Undead Emperor showing off his housekeeping skills…? Or so she wondered in her heart, but Anri still nodded.
Incidentally, the reason he was so desperate was because there was nothing to do in his job as the last boss.
“Well then, please keep up the good work.”
“Understood! I will serve you with all my body and soul!”
Keeping back his trembles of emotion, Imperial Death lowered his head politely and neatly, into a perfect bow.
*妹*
*妹*
*妹*
*妹*
*妹*
*妹*
*妹*
This was the moment that Imperial Death, “31st Floor Boss” and “Butler”, was born.
Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!
Thank you for the birthday wishes everybody! Yesterday was great. Although, I’m actually posting this 1 minute from when it will have become the day before yesterday…
Apparently Ririna completely ignored my warning, and continued trying to get close to Kaburagi. But apparently the upperclassmen girls were like a wall and things didn’t go as she wanted.
Anyway, thanks to that, I lost my composure and spoke to a first year Pivoine girl in Ririna’s class.
When I asked her,
“Is Ririna causing you trouble?” she answered, “Not at all,” but expression told a completely different story. So I told her “I’m so sorry. I will speak to her later,” and apologised.
The girl was flustered that I was apologising to her, but I asked her to immediately tell me if Ririna was causing problems. Anyway, if she’s doing crazy stuff where I can’t see her, I need to know.
Once time when I was heading to the salon, she ambushed me and pestered me to take her along. I told her that I couldn’t but she wouldn’t listen. Thankfully, Aira-sama happened to be walking past, and she gently persuaded her.
Later on she called me and asked, “Who was that wonderful person!?”
In the end, I heard from her that her mother was originally a Pivoine member, and as a child she talked to her about it. She claimed that if she lived close to the primary school, she would “Definitely have gotten in!”
But well, even if she told me that, the reality was that she entered as an External from middle school, so she was disqualified from it. The rules are the rules.
Apparently her conceit is coming from the misconception that she’s actually Pivoine as well.
What an idiot.
Later, Tsuruhana-san told me sarcastically, “What a cute cousin you have.” I couldn’t find anything to say.
I think my stress is hitting its peak.
*妹*
And so, I’ve come to a fast food place.
I haven’t entered before out of fear that somebody would see me, but I don’t care anymore.
With all my stress, I have to eat, or else!
I ordered my first fast food since being born in this world with a pounding heart. I asked for a cheeseburger, and a large chips. For my drink, I went with oolong tea.
Just in case, I sat in the corner. And I felt a little out of place too.
I took a bite of my cheeseburger. Uwah, so nostalgic! I remember this taste!
A ketchup covered meat patty, with pickles, onion and cheese! What a cheap taste!
Maybe because I’m always eating good food, I was a little shocked at how it tasted even cheaper than I remembered, but I guess that’s fast food for you.
The chips are so yummyy. There’s heaps of ketchup too.
It felt like the more I filled my stomach, the more the stress melted away. Hahh, I’m so glad I came.
But I wonder what I should do about Ririna.
Thinking about it carefully, she has similar tastes in men to me.
We love Oniisama, but then as a romantic partner, we go for the complete opposites to him, Tomoe-senpai and Kaburagi. We admire Aira-sama as well. Uwahh, I really don’t wanna be similar to her.
But then I used to loiter about Tomoe-senpai as well, didn’t I.
Earlier, I apologised to Aira-sama. She gently consoled me, telling me “You have it rough, don’t you, Reika-chan. If there’s anything I can do to help, just tell me,” but I absolutely couldn’t bring myself to trouble her like that.
As for Kaburagi, I’m so scared that I can’t look him in the eye anymore. Just imagining how angry he must be gives me the shakes. But I guess maybe I really should gather my courage and apologise once?
Aahh~ Why did that girl have to make it into Zui’ran?
I gulped down the watery tea.
*妹*
Maybe because of what Aira-sama said, Ririna didn’t try and push her way into the salon anymore.
But she was still following Kaburagi as usual.
Even my group was starting to really frown. This is bad… At this rate, my position is in danger.
When I said “I’m really sorry,” they said “It isn’t your fault, Reika-sama,” but I doubt they’ll be saying that forever.
Lately, my stomach has been hurting often since 1st period.
I can’t go without stomach medicine. It hurts too much now.
Should I just flip out?
*妹*
One day, Ririna finally angered Kaburagi.
While he was seeing Yurie-sama off, she tried to get close to the two and speak to them.
It’s a rule amongst his followers that they should never approach Kaburagi when he’s with Yurie-sama, and especially not get in his way, but Ririna ignored it.
Kaburagi is fundamentally indifferent to the noisy girls around him. No matter what they do, he pays them no attention. But when it involves Yurie-sama, it’s a different matter.
When it comes to those who interrupt his precious time with Yurie-sama, he takes off the mask of indifference he usually wears, and shows his emotions.
It’s because they know this that the girls around him will never approach him at these times.
But did Ririna not know that? Since the other nuisances weren’t here this time, she ran over to Kaburagi like it was her chance, just as he was trying to get into a car.
And even though Yurie-sama needed to go to prep school, she ignored the atmosphere and tried to hold them back, so Kaburagi snapped.
He shouted “Cut it out! Never come near me again!” and left Ririna standing there, before riding off with Yurie-sama trying to calm him down.
When I heard all this from Ririna on the phone, I felt dizzy. What the heck had she done…
She asked me to do something about it, but what can I possibly do.
The person himself said not to come near him, so I warned her to learn from her mistake and just give up, but apparently she hadn’t given up yet.
Somebody save me.
*妹*
The rumour that Ririna angered him spread in an instant, and I was having trouble keeping my chest high anymore.
Sometimes there are girls that anger him by kicking up too much of a fuss, and it never becomes too big of a deal though.
Still, the stares from Tsuruhana-san’s group are really uncomfortable.
When I went to the Pivoine, I found Kaburagi and Enjou there, so I braced myself and went to apologise.
“It seems that my cousin caused you problems yesterday. I am truly sorry.”
I said, and bowed.
There were other people in the salon, but it wasn’t the time to worry about how I looked.
After staying quiet for a while, Kaburagi gave a huge sigh and said,
“It’s fine.”
Really?
“It’s not really your fault or anything.”
“But she is my cousin.”
“Then do something about it.”
“I have been trying to do something about it, but…”
“You’re pretty useless.”
Kaburagi chuckled at me.
It looks like he’s not angry anymore. Thank goodness.
Feeling relieved, just as I was thinking that I would help myself to some tea, somebody dropped the bombshell,
“Your cousin is here looking for you.”
I headed for the hallway in a panic and found Ririna talking about wanting to directly apologise, and asking me to get him to meet her.
Just how stupid is this girl!?
Anyway, even when I told her to leave, she just dragged things out and kept talking.
After we continued that countless times, the door to the salon opened, and Enjou appeared.
“Hey, you should really cut this out already. If you anger Masaya any more than this, I don’t know what’ll happen to you, okay? I bet you don’t know that your cousin, Kisshouin-san, has been lowering her head to various people for your sake. After all, if you did, you wouldn’t be doing something so shameless, right? The reason that you’re still fine after making so many enemies out of the upperclassmen is because Kisshouin-san has been doing nothing but apologising for your sake. It’s because Masaya knows this that he’s stayed quiet all this time. But even that’s coming to an end.”
Enjou pierced Ririna with a cold gaze.
When a normally gentle person turns angry, it’s really, really scary.
Speaking of which, the manga Enjou got angry like this a few times too, when it came to Kisshouin Reika.
Ririna turned bright red, and then ran off like she was escaping.
At least say goodbye, dammit.
“Umm, I am truly sorry for this. I even bothered you, Enjou-sama.”
“She was bothering us as well. I thought it was about time to do something.”
“Is that so.”
Ririna, you were really on the brink, you know.
“But Kisshouin-san, this means that you owe me one.”
“Heh?”
“It can’t be that you thought I was helping you for free? You’re really naïve, huh.”
Enjou gave a sweet smile and before he headed back in, he left me the words,
“I’ll be collecting my debt one day, so don’t forget, okay?”
EEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!?
Because of Reika, I am off to McDonalds at midnight.
– Estelion
Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!
1) Since some people wanted to know, I asked Estelina what she thought of my blog name and scanlation group name.
“Huh? Oh. Nothing? Imouto means, little sister, right? Is it supposed to be offensive or something? I guess some people get offended over anything, huh.”
2) Kryto bought me a founder’s pack for Tree of Savior! So I guess I’ll be playing. But with all my other commitments, I probably won’t get very far. Still! See you there, maybe?
3) I have a friend living in my ‘garage’ now. So if you come across him while looking through my teasers and stuff, do not be alarmed.
Matsuo Bashou was the most famous poet of the Edo period in Japan.
Bashou was born in 1644, near Ueno, in Iga Province. A place famous for him, and ninjas. There’s a rumor that the famed haiku poet Matsuo Bashou wasn’t just a master of poetry, but a master of the art of Ninjutsu, the art of stealth, subterfuge and spying. The art of the Ninja!
So was Matsuo Bashou just a wandering master poet, or was he a master spy? During the cautious years of the early Edo, or Tokugawa period, people were not permitted to travel freely around the country, however Bashou managed to obtain permission. His position as a celebrated poet gained him a close access to the nobility. He was able to enter castles and palaces, view the estates of the lords and spend time chatting with them. Speaking directly to the various lords, he would have been able to discover their hidden thoughts as they composed poems together. Wonderful opportunities for intelligence gathering.
It took no time at all to hear about Ririna from a friend in Kaburagi’s class.
“Yes, that girl has been loitering about Emperor recently. Ah-, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to badmouth your cousin.”
“No, you are right. I should be apologising to you on her behalf.”
I see. So everybody’s been careful not to badmouth a relative of mine in front of my eyes.
Please just give me a break, Ririna~
“Well, could I ask what she does, specifically?”
“Well, things like calling out to him, or sometimes even coming to our classroom. She hasn’t done anything too eye-catching quite yet though.”
It’s plenty already. The thing that the female upperclassmen hate the most is a first year girl following about upperclassmen boys.
Even in my old life, the relationships between females was in a strict grade-based hierarchy. If you didn’t greet them in the hallway, they would say stuff about you “getting ahead of yourself”. I guess when you’re at that age, you start to want to act like you’re a senpai.
For girls of that age, if a younger girl starts making eyes at a boy in their grade, the girl’s name immediately spreads throughout the grade and every girl becomes their enemy.
It’s really scary when that happens, you know. The more extreme senpai will call you out and lecture you too, you know.
I don’t know if the same thing happens at Zui’ran, but they should at least be feeling the same way, so I can’t help but worry about Ririna.
Oh, no, rather than worrying about Ririna as a person, I’m just worried that I’ll get into trouble for being her cousin.
“I must warn my cousin as well.”
“Yes. Umm, we don’t really mind, but Tsuruhana-san’s group is…”
Uwah, she’s being targeted by them?
My stomach is really hurting.
*妹*
The last time I spoke to Ririna was when she came over with her parents before I entered Zui’ran.
That girl has always hated me. But I guess that goes the same for me.
But even though she always used to go “Taka-niisama” “Taka-niisama” when the heck did she turn into an Emperor fan.
And it’s Kaburagi, of all people. Even Enjou would have been better. It’s like a landmine around that guy. Things are going to get bad if she carelessly approaches him.
I could already envision a future where my slowly heaped efforts and reputation were being smashed to pieces by Ririna.
I see. So there was this kind of problem too.
Even if I try my best not to incur Emperor’s displeasure, and even if I stop Otousama’s dishonesties, there’s still the plot device of having my relatives do something instead.
Guilt by association is truly terrifying.
Ririna is selfish and high-handed and spoilt by her parents, so she’s like a miniature version of Kimidol’s Kisshouin Reika, after all.
What do I do, what do I do? I definitely don’t have the skill to rehabilitate that girl!
But, I did at least give her a phone call to give her a few words.
“Ririna-san, I hear that you have been following Kaburagi-sama about? I think it might be better if you abstained from bothering your upperclassmen.”
“My. Whatever I do should be my own business. And Kaburagi-sama has never really said that I bother him.”
And the moment he does say it will be your last.
“But,”
“More importantly, Reika-san. I want to have a look at the Pivoine salon. Take me there.”
This little!
“The Pivoine is off-limits to Externals. And not ‘more importantly’, we were talking about Kaburagi-sama. You have a terrible reputation amongst the girls in the higher grades, you know.”
“Hmph. So? I’m not scared. Aren’t you just jealous that I’m getting close to Kaburagi-sama?”
HAHHH?!
“Ririna-san, Zui’ran has its own rules. If you ignore them, you will be crushed.”
“Yes, yes, got it, got it. Goodness, Reika-oneesama.”
She hung up.
…Annoying. Annoying, annoying, ANNOYINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!
What’s with her attitude! Somebody was calling her because they were worried! Or rather, you’re going to bother me so stop it already!
GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! ANNOYING!
I suppose people do say that every family has its annoying members. Ririna is so tiring to handle.
If I ask Oniisama to help, I think even she’ll behave a little, but Oniisama is busy with work and studies, so he doesn’t have the time for this. I don’t want him to have to deal with something so bothersome.
But is it even possible for me to stop her?!
UGAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! The stress is building up!
I opened up a packet of You Can’t Stop, You Won’t Stops that I had hidden in my closet, and began devouring them by the clawful.
If I get fat because of that girl, I won’t forget!
*妹*
*妹*
This year’s excursion was to a mountain temple. Why a temple?
After we got on a bullet train and bus, there was a long, long staircase. You’re telling me to climb this?
Because I heard it was a temple, I let my guard down. Isn’t this exactly the same as last year’s mountain climbing hell?
But before long, my calves started acting up. My body is slanting forward. Somebody, somebody please bring me a cane.
While wheezing just like last year, I saw Tsuruhana-san’s group snickering at me as they passed me by. I didn’t know what to say.
Apparently this temple was a temple featured in a famous haiku by Matsuo Bashou. Bashou climbed this horrifying mountain too? That theory about him being a ninja might actually be true.
O Heavens, please sever my inauspicious connections. I have many of them. Ririna, Kaburagi, Enjou, Tsuruhana…
Names kept coming out. Thanks to that, my heart was pitch-black. Making a pilgrimage with such a negative mindset, will the gods even grant me a miracle?
After somehow making it to the top, it was already time to descend. WHY!? Apparently they were waiting for us. I’m sorry…
After that, they took us to have a stroll around the Five Coloured Swamps Goshiki-numa, a collection of five multicoloured volcanic swamps.
But once I saw the boats on the swamps, my mood suddenly shot up. I want to ride one! I want to row one!
I invited my friends, and quickly got on one.
It’s not moving. Even though I’m desperately rowing, why isn’t it moving. I just keep spinning around on the spot. What’s going on here?
Unable to watch any longer, one of my friends took over the rowing for me. Thank you, Ayame-chan.
It felt great sitting on the boat as it smoothly glided through the water. When I looked around, suddenly there were boats with couples on them! When!?
Before my eyes was a smiling girl. No, I’m thankful that you’re rowing for me. But even I wanted to try a boat ride with a boy…
But looking carefully, Kaburagi and Enjou were on a boat together. Two guys, riding a boat together…? Upfpftpft…
I’ll just consider it a good thing that I’m with my friends.
*妹*
*妹*
By the time I got home, I gradually started feeling the muscle pains. Aahh, tomorrow is going to be rough…
Ah! I forgot to try the Tama Konnyaku!
Tamakonnnyaku. Konnyaku is a specialty of Fukushima, where Reika most likely visited.
お兄ちゃん、やめてぇ！ 