Chapter 2 – Evil God Statue – Part 1

You can thank Xiaoxiao Novels for reminding me that I still had work to do… and stuff to publish.

Whoops.


Part 1 – A Dangerous Evil God Statue


This is a story that takes place while the Black Rose Mansion was still being built.

*妹*

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*妹*

One day, the Pope called me out to the side of the Evil God Temple.
In other words… where a certain massive statue was being built. A massive statue that boasted the same five-story height as the temple, and that happened to look just like me.
Right now it was being completely covered in cloth so you couldn’t see inside, but once you removed the cloth, there’s a good chance its dignity could even be seen from town.

…This guy just stirs up trouble.

“Well then, Anri-sama. Please have a look at the completed statue,” said the Pope in gorgeous priests clothes, as he gripped the corner of the cloth with one hand.
The reason I was called out here today was because he wanted me to be the first to see it finished.
To be honest, I get the feeling that it should be the divine “me” that was called out here, but I guess I’m here as the representative since it would be insane to call out a god.
Really, I wanted to run, but since I owed him a favour for helping me with the house, I really couldn’t refuse. That’s why, unwilling though I was, I forced myself to come.

“Now then, I shall unveil the cloth! This is the moment that the world will fall on its knees to the glory of our god’s divine form!”

Nobody is kneeling to anything.
I couldn’t help but comment in my mind, but the Pope proudly unveiled it all the same. The white cloth fluttered in the air and exposed the giant statue to the light of day.

On a pedestal of about a metre tall stood a collossal bronze figure.
The form of the deity worshipped in this nation――in other words, me――stood as a massive bronze statue, reproduced so faithfully that an observer could see glimpses of the obsession that went into its creation.
The figure was wearing the same black death rose dress that I was still wearing, and it was so realistic to behold that it seemed like not even a crease had been overlooked.

…And it was extremely embarrassing. Thank goodness I wore a mask.

“How is it, Anri-sama?”

I found the Pope staring my way with sparkling eyes.
I know that he really wants to know. After all, he’s the one who came up with the thing. But his enthusiasm is really troubling.
I could feel my face cramping up, but at the very least I couldn’t find fault with the statue itself.
It was actually so flawless that I found myself wishing he would direct his talents somewhere less useless.
What’s worse was that he was managing the country properly, so it made it all the harder to complain about this.

But well, since it really was well done, I decided to give him a reply… or so I was thinking, when I suddenly noticed one problem.

“? Anri-sama? Is something the matter?”

“There’s something I wanna check.”

“?”

The Pope stared at me in confusion, but I ignored him and approached the statue.

What I wanted to check was none other than the dress that this statue, this Evil God Statue, was wearing. Ah, but I don’t mean that the dress itself looked wrong.
The problem went the other way.
I was worried because it was so similar to my real one.

The black death rose dress that I was wearing was sleeveless and jet black, with a rose pattern at its breast.
It was originally a normal dress, but my divine protection dyed it black.
Naturally its defensive power and resistances increased by shocking amounts too, but there was one last thing that changed about it.

What was dangerous about it, was the design.

There was a pretty deep slit cut into the skirt portion of the dress, and you could see my legs peeping through it. If I wasn’t careful, you’d get a shot of my panties too.
And because of that same divine protection, even my underwear had changed to something dangerous.
So dangerous that parts underwear were made to cover were laid bare instead. Definitely not something I could ever let people see.

And so, you can see what I was worried about.
The dress was perfectly replicated, and the slit was alive and well.
Since it’s a statue I’m not really sure if it counts as showing skin, but the point was that you could definitely see its legs.

Well, that much could still be considered tame.
I mean, it’s not as tame as I’d like, but let’s leave that for now.

The real problem was what lay above it.
It can’t be that he actually replicated even my underwear, right? If he did, the problem would change to how on earth he saw it, but anyway, the point is, looking at the way the statue was made, you would expect the underwear to be done too.

Feeling equal parts anxiety and curiosity, I walked up to its feet and looked right up.
Looking up at it like this really drove in how huge it was.
Because of how big just everything about it was, you could even climb in through the slit.

Uh, no? I won’t though.

Only, even if you didn’t climb in, as long as you stood right next to it, it was a simply matter to peer in.

…Uwah.

What filled my vision as I looked upwards was a completely realistic upskirt. And although they were different to what I had on, the panties were still incredibly risqué.
What on earth was he thinking when he decided to have the Evil God Statue wear these? I honestly wanted to question “Why! Why! Why!” at him for an hour.
But well, it was obvious that whatever answer he gave would just confuse me more, so I decided I didn’t want to ask after all.

But wow, there weren’t any people here right now, so it was all well and good, but did this mean heaps of people were going to see this?
That was a bit of a… or rather, a huge embarrassment.
I mean, it was just a statue so it wasn’t like they were actually looking up my skirt.
I knew that.
I knew that, but it was just so realistic that it felt like my upskirt was being displayed to the world.

“Is there anything wrong with it?”

“…………”

I couldn’t help but stare when he asked me that again.
But as usual, he showed no signs of flinching from my mystic eyes. Not only that, he didn’t even seem to question my resentful gaze, and simply tilted his head in confusion.

Damned pervert.

But well, even if I call him that, he didn’t see me as a woman at all.
It’s kinda rough to say this about myself, but I already knew that I had turned into a being way beyond that to him.
You could say that the way he saw me was as safe as things got.
But that just made it completely puzzling that he would choose such a thing. It was a bit scary to ask, but I couldn’t help myself.

“Why, did you choose this kind of underwear?”

“Huh? Underwear… you ask?”

I asked him without beating around the bush, and after giving me a blank look, he replied,

“Naturally I could not ask you to model for it yourself, Anri-sama…”

Well yeah. Modelling is a pain, and even if I did do it, there’s no way I’d let you peek up my skirt.

“And so because it could not be helped, I consulted your esteemed friend, Leonora-sama, on what kind of design would be best.”

LEONORAAAAAAAAAAAAA!?

What on earth have you done.
No, I mean, it’s true that my underwear is outrageous, and she knows that too. So well, maybe you could say that she was already picking a modest design for me, but to begin with it’s not like I wear these types of things because I want to, and she should know that too!
Could it be that this is revenge because I forgot to dispel the cursed Tena doll…?
Ah, I mean, well, I do feel sorry about that, but…

“Is there some problem about the design of the underwear?”

“…It’s embarrassing to have people see.”

“Hah…”

I meant to object, but considering his half-hearted reply, I wasn’t sure if I got the point across.

“It is my humble opinion that there is nothing to be embarrassed about at all, but may I ask what the problem is?”

Considering his serious expression, apparently he wasn’t kidding.
I guess he really didn’t see me as a woman.
But if I didn’t make myself extremely clear, statue or not, there was a good chance that I was going to suffer the torture of having a giant upskirt view of me displayed to the masses.
But it was already completed, so it would probably be difficult to close up the slit, or build a more modest statue.
So at the very least, I wanted to avoid people peeking in from up close.

“I don’t want people too close to it.”

“!? I see. You certainly are an esteemed personage. It would not do to have people come too close.”

That wasn’t exactly what I meant, but well, good enough.

“Build a fence around the thing, and please don’t let people near its feet.”

“I understand. I shall immediately set out to do so.”

“Please.”

With that, the Pope bowed reverently to me, before hurriedly running off somewhere.
Anyway, with a fence in place, at least they wouldn’t be looking straight up at it. I guess that’s good enough.
But hm, since I may as well, perhaps I should make sure he builds it right.


<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Schizophrenia – Chapter 21

For those that haven’t read the last chapter (I forgot to tag it in the Haunted category when I posted) you can find it here. Enjoy Chapter 21!

(Also I feel the real April Fool’s joke here is that I’m actually releasing content, two whole chapters too, go figure)

 


 

—Hey, what’s wrong with you. You okay?

—Ahh, Lilia… I’m already done for…

—Eh, hey wait… What’s wrong?

Hearing that truly strained voice made Lilia’s expression pale. She had never before heard such a meek voice from Sakura. She waited anxiously for Sakura’s response.

—Green peppers, bitter…

She lowered her gaze and looked at the fried vegetables. There were green peppers in it.

—Just, with this…? I didn’t really taste much of the green peppers though…

—You did taste it… Lilia you meanie…

Hearing that usually energetic voice continue to sink, it made Lilia worry as well. While feeling sorry, she apologised in her head.

“Lilia, what’s wrong?”

It was Tina’s voice. Not knowing how she should answer, Lilia ended up shutting her mouth. Even so the worry in Tina’s eyes didn’t go away, and Lilia gave a small sigh.

“I’m sorry, Tina. I just remembered some urgent business, so I must excuse myself here.”

She hadn’t even managed to eat half of her dinner yet. In fact, her appetite was still unsatisfied, but she couldn’t just keep going with Sakura in this state. Lilia rose from her seat and showed a smile to the dumbfounded Tina.

“I’ll say this now, but please rest assured that this isn’t because of anything you did. Well then, see you later.”

Lightly waving her hand, she departed. After exiting the dining hall, Lilia hurried to her room.

Lilia rushed into her bedroom and, upon returning to her room, pulled out a drawer from the table. In there was a small cloth bag. It was of simple make, but the material itself was high class. Lilia opened it and checked the contents. There was a sizable amount of copper and silver coins inside. With a small nod, she called out to Sakura.

—Sakura. Can you hear me?

—Nn… What is it?

There was a response, but it was still just as weak. She didn’t think a single piece of green pepper could have caused her to become like this.

—We’re going to head out now.

—That so…

—Is there anything you want to eat? Though we can’t go too far.

—Fruit!

The energetic voice rang in her head momentarily. How mercenary thought Lilia as she smiled wryly, leaving the room. She soon ran into Alisa.

“Mistress Lilia? It’s already late so, I think it best to hold off on going outside…”

“R-right… I understand.”

Her cheek stiffening, Lilia dejectedly returned to the room. That Sakura’s energy that she finally managed to restore all faded out again was also apparent.

—Uuu… There is no God or Buddha huh…

She didn’t understand the meaning, but the lamentation was clearly conveyed.

“By the way Mistress Lilia.”

Keeping the door open until now, Alisa opened her mouth. Dubiously turning around,

“It’s a visitor.”

Behind Alisa, there stood Tina.

“Tina? What’s wrong? What about dinner?”

It hadn’t been too long since she left from the dining hall. So why was Tina already here? Lilia wondered while waiting for her words, when Tina timidly presented the thing in her hands.
It was a small paper bag. Though thinking it strange, she approached Tina and received the bag. Looking inside, there was a mandarin like fruit.

“Umm… Dinner, didn’t seem to be to your tastes so… Please have some of this.”

And then she vigorously lowered her head in apology. Lilia was flabbergasted as she opened her mouth, it ending up lamely hung open.

“Well, I’ll be heading back to the dining hall then. See you later, Lilia.”

Saying so she made to leave the room. Lilia hurriedly called her for her back.

“Wait.”

“Eh…? What’s wrong? Ah, is it that you dislike fruits as well?”

“Of course not. Just… Today, there really was something unexpected that came up. If it’s alright with you, please do invite me again sometime?”

In fact, she felt that the dinner itself was quite tasty. If not for Sakura, she probably would have finished it all. As expected, the place would be somewhat difficult for Lilia to enter alone, so she wouldn’t think of going again without being invited by Tina.
Tina seemed to be blankly befuddled, but before long, an instant smile came to her face.

“Yup! I’ll invite you again sometime!”

And so, she waved her hand and left. Seeing her off, Lilia let out a sigh of relief as she closed the door.

—Lilia! Mandarins! I don’t know if they’re actually mandarins but! Mandarins! Let’s eat!

Instantly, Sakura’s voice rang out in her head. Lilia smiled wryly and held out the paper bag to Alisa.

“Sorry, but could you prepare a few of these?”

“Yes. Certainly.”

And so as she stuffed her cheeks with the fruit Alisa peeled,

—Ahh, it’s delicious, I’m in heaven…

—Oh you…

Slowly savouring the flavour, she smiled wryly. Somehow interpreting that smile, Alisa also beamed affectionately.

The next day. Going to the first floor entrance, Tina was there just like yesterday waiting for Lilia. However, perhaps minding the matter with The Prince from yesterday, she only exchanged her greetings.

—What’s with that girl. She waited for me just to say hi?

—What a good girl.

—What a waste of time.

—Lilia’s thinking never changes eh!

Sakura was lamenting over something again, but she probably didn’t need to pay it any mind. She briskly headed for the school building.
The school building was beside the dormitory. A three story stone building, it was made to be quite a large structure. Lilia’s classroom was on the second floor. She still kept her brisk pace walking through the hallways. There wasn’t actually any need to hurry that much, but it couldn’t be helped that she felt she was drawing the gazes of the students around her. This wasn’t just an overly self-conscious imagination either, as when she actually looked at the people she felt gazes from, they would hurriedly avert their gazes when she met their eyes.
The following act from The Prince’s engagement annulment was all the uproar from yesterday after all. It was obvious that she would gather a lot of attention. If only it had happened somewhere where there were less people, but it’s a bit too late for that now.

 


 

(Author’s Note)
I’ve always been wanting to write that scene where she’d shriek from eating green peppers.
I’ve gone through my stock. It’ll be back to normal from tomorrow.

Sakura
Lilia


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Reika-sama – 088

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!

Join the Evil God Army on discord!
https://discord.gg/0uufyDAsTZXQaMz1


The joke is that it took me over a month to release this because I finished it two weeks ago but then went to sleep and forgot I ever did it! HA HA HA!

Are you guys laughing too?



The results for the finals were out. Naturally my name was nowhere to be seen.
The top-three were the same as ever. Kaburagi, Enjou, and Wakaba-chan in that order. Wakaba-chan really is such a smart cookie. You’re amazing, Wakaba-chan~ This is going to make some people really unhappy though…
Oh! And Fellow Stalking-Horse dropped to 7th! Are you being a little careless about your studies, my comrade?! I’m not that smart so it’s up to you to drag up the Stalking Horses, okay? You’re the hope of our village. As candidate for next village head, you need to make us proud.
Anyhow, I ended up at rank 86. Uguh, it’s so bad that I can’t even talk about it! At this rate I might actually end up in the triple digits. Better take the summer studies seriously. Studying, dieting, spiritual training… This summer is going to be busy.

“Hey,” Kikuno suddenly said. “How about we all go somewhere together this summer?”

Ehhhh! An outing with friends! That sounds wonderful!

“Do you think we’ll be able to book anything in time?”

“My, what if you simply came to my family’s villa?”

The girls began kicking up an excited fuss.
Since we basically all have villas, they started discussing which one we were going to use. I’d better ask my family as well.
I mean, I’m assuming that I’m included of course. I am, right? Right? I mean, I’ve got a villa too, so let me into the conversation?

***

On the last Sunday before the summer break officially began, Sakura-chan and I went to do that Zazen meditation I mentioned.
First the Zen Master taught us how to sit and meditate properly, and then had us enter the temple. I was happy to find that it was cool inside. I don’t think I would have been able to meditate if it was humid.
I couldn’t manage the full lotus position so I sat down in the half-lotus instead, and half-closed my eyes. Focus. Control your breathing. Control your heart.
I mean the breathing part is fine and all but controlling my mind~? Weird thoughts kinda keep popping up.
Or so I thought, but with the room so quiet my mind started to calm down. My heart quieted down, and my eyes began to close.
Ah-, Zen Master-san suddenly stood behind me. Could he tell I was falling asleep? I leant to the left so that he could tap my shoulder with his stick. It hurt less than I’d expected. Was he holding back because I was a frail girl? But thanks to that I was getting sleepy again…

-smack-

By the end of it I was so drowsy that my body was swaying all over the place. I can’t even remember if he hit me again.

After a thirty minute session of that, we had some tea and then the Zen Master gave us a sermon. Then it was onto rewriting sutras. Wow, I thought it was just going to be the meditation.
I placed the paper on top of the original and then began to trace it. Oh. This was easier than I thought. I used to do the same thing for writing practice as a child.
Turns out it wasn’t that easy. Zen Master-san told us that by tracing this our hearts would be revealed. I looked at Sakura-chan’s perfect kanji, and then looked at some of the weird squiggles on mine. I’ll bet this one over here happened while I was thinking about the Japanese-style café we’d be going to after. My mind really is filled to the brim with worldly desires, isn’t it.
After submitting our copies to the temple, our day at the temple was brought to a close.

“Reika. You didn’t learn a thing, did you,” said Sakura-chan, the very moment we reached the café. Oh. I had originally planned to reflect during the training, hadn’t I.

“Seriously, because of all the smacking sounds coming from the side I could barely concentrate myself. And I swear you started rocking back and forth near the end too…”

“That was a test of your heart and spirit, Sakura-chan. If something so little can sway you from the Path then I don’t know what to say to you.”

“…He should have smacked you with a real cane instead.”

I was just reciting what the Zen Master had said. And a real cane would have actually hurt.

“And today was so easy because I deliberately chose a mellow place for you, okay. Had we gone to one of the hardcore places you’d be tenderised steak right now.”

“Ehh~ But you got hit too.”

“I asked him to.”

Wow, you’re amazing.

“Well? Did you reflect at all…?”

She sighed as I stared at the sweets menu.

“Guess not, huh.”

You’re wrong. I was just looking, that’s all. I wasn’t planning on eating at all, I swear.

“Ahh~ Nirvana isn’t such an easy place to get into, you know~”

“I hope you fall onto the path of the chubster.”

Stop that. Don’t you remember what Mr. Zen Master said? Words have power so you shouldn’t say cruel things to others, remember? How are you going to take responsibility if I really turn into a fatty?

“Look, you really need to start exercising, Reika. How about that hot yoga stuff, or maybe aerial yoga?”

“You sure do love yoga, Sakura-chan.”

I’ve been doing my best with sit-ups and hula hoops, and I can just do yoga at home. If I’m going to go out of my way then maybe some other sport would be better.
Anyhow, I somehow managed to restrain myself from ordering one of the Japanese-styled sweets and forced myself to settle with a cold matcha drink instead.
When I don’t eat my tummy shrinks. But it swells again the moment I do. Geez, this is why it’s so easy to get careless~ It feels like I’ll lose weight as soon as I start eating less.
But I was determined to stick to my guns this time. That time with the pregnancy misunderstanding was a huge shock. I was actually still pretty depressed about it.
I sealed away the dress from that day too. It had to be part of the problem.
And when I sit down my flab comes out, so I was sitting with my stomach clenched at all times.

“Say, Sakura-chan? Do I look too old?”

“Huh? No? Your face has been getting rounder these days so if anything you look awfully young. Don’t worry about it.”

So my face has been getting rounder…

***

Today was the first day of my summer cram school.
And wow, was this on a different scale to my middle school one.
We were allowed to sit wherever so I picked a middle seat, a bit further back than average.
I wonder if there are any Zui’ran kids. Hmmm. Everybody looks so smart.

While I was looking around, a group of boys and girls took the seats next to me. They all seemed to be friends. Whoaa… What is this feeling unbelievable sense of isolation.
The bag of the boy next to me steadily encroached on my territory. But he had his back to me and was completely focused on the conversation with his friends. Why am I feeling so ignored.
Oh no. The trauma from my remedials…
Just as I was moping, the boy suddenly laughed like crazy and smacked me with his hand. Ow…

“Ah, soz.”

“…It is fine.”

More importantly, I’d appreciate it if you noticed your bag as well.

“Whoa! This chick is like a total rich girl ojousama!”

“And her hair is done up so neatly~”

Urgh.

“Hey, hey, what school you go to?” asked the boy behind me.

And he had a bunch of earrings too. So gaudy.

“…I attend Zui’ran.”

“Whooooooooa! Suiraaan! Total rich girlll!”

I don’t know what was so interesting about it but they all seemed really intrigued.
And although the girls had smiles on their faces, I could see them secretly appraising me. Scary…

“Hey, so what’s your name?”

“…My name is Kisshouin Reika.”

“Even your name sounds rich! Dooope!”

…What the hell.
…I picked completely the wrong seat.
No, I picked completely the wrong cram school.
This has got to be the first time I’ve ever been treated so carelessly in all my time as Kisshouin Reika.
This has got to be the worst treatment I’ve had short of that pregnancy incident. I have complete confidence that if I drew a fortune right now it would say “Huge Curse”.

“C’mon, cut that out. You’re troubling the poor girl. The ojousama of Zui’ran are just totally different from us, you know?” said one of the guys next to Gaudy Piercings.

The girls started staying stuff like “Yeah, guys~ Cut it out~” as well.

Hmph! As if anybody thinks you mean it!

I played up my indifference and began looking through my coursework. It was time to make use of the mindset I cultivated at the temple!
But despite my best efforts, the idiot behind me wouldn’t stop pulling and playing with my hair! My hair of all things! Had we been born an era earlier I’d imprison you in the goddamned Bastille for that!
And who the heck pulls on a girl’s hair! Are you actually a high schooler? Are you actually?
The final straw was the fact that when class actually started all of the idiots around me turned out to be way smarter than I was.

***

That’s it. The moment I get home I’m performing a salt-exorcism on all four sides of my room.


<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Schizophrenia – Chapter 20

Another long gap! But here’s another chapter! And another cliff! But I generally don’t leave cliffs alone! Or will I? Find out next time, on…
Real note though, if you enjoy this story please do consider supporting it on Novelupdates, I really appreciate any comments and reviews.

 


 

There were two dining halls located in the first floor of the dorm. The first was built as a large hall, used by most of the students living in the dorm. The other one was a size smaller than the first, but it was for the exclusive use of the upper class nobles. According to the school regulations, on school premises, a person’s status was irrelevant. However looking at the students’ rooms and dining hall, it was clear that the upper class nobles were treated differently after all.

This was the first time entering the larger dining hall for Lilia. Because she normally used the other one, coming here in the first place was impossible. Since that was the case, it was probably natural that the entire room fell quiet when she came in.
Lilia slowly swept her gaze across, through the quieted dining hall. Anyone that met her gaze all flusteredly averted their eyes. Feeling some discomfort, she thought it might be best to give up and go back after all when,

“Lilia, what’s wrong? Come let’s go.”

Came Tina’s voice. Turning around, she met eyes with Tina who was looking at her with a smile. Not avoiding her gaze in the slightest, a cheerful smile.

“Yes, you’re right. Let’s go.”

The corners of Lilia’s mouth also ended up lifting up into a smile. The discomfort and such felt just earlier were cleanly erased and forgotten.
Countless long tables were lined up in the dining hall. Not paying any mind to the hushed atmosphere, Tina headed inside. Finding two seats together, she beckoned to call Lilia over.
Not giving notice to the quietness was probably a courtesy towards Lilia. Just when she was feeling somewhat grateful for that,

“You just sit tight here Lilia. I’ll go to order. Nevertheless, I wonder why it’s so quiet here today?”

Wrong. She actually just didn’t notice anything in the first place.

—Perhaps this girl, is somewhat of an airhead?

—I wonder about that huh.

“Lilia, I’m ordering for you too, so what would you like?”

“I’ll leave it to you. I’ll just have what you’re getting.”

“Got it. I’ll be right back!”

Saying that, Tina headed for the inner part of the dining hall where the counter was. Behind the counter was a crowd of cooking staff, where you ordered and received your food to bring back to your seat. The food in the dining hall was all free of charge and you could ask for more helpings as you please.
Sinking into her seat, Lilia slowly let out her breath. The surrounding students were finally starting to talk normally again. With the attention on her letting up, she could finally calm down.
Incidentally Alisa was not with them. Saying that she didn’t want to be a bother, it seems like the girl headed for the dining hall outside of campus.
Lilia casually looked around. At some point many of the seats in front and to her sides had been vacated. Lightly glancing around, there was a group holding their food trays quickly moving away. They had probably run away in fear of Lilia. She ended up feeling just a tinge of loneliness from that.

—Tina really is a good girl huh.

—Yeah… I won’t become like that though.

—Yeah no I’m definitely not looking for that. That sort of Lilia would be kinda gross.

—I’m really gonna get angry you know?

—Ahaha.

As she was chatting with Sakura in her mind, Tina returned carrying two trays. Placing one in front of Lilia, Tina sat down beside her. On the trays Tina brought over were two menu items, steaming warm white rice and fried vegetables with meat.

—No matter how you look at it isn’t this treatment a bit too unwelcoming!

—I was under the impression that it was just a difference in rooms… So this is the kind of dinner they have over here.

The food wasn’t even brought to over for them. Looking at the students sitting a bit away from them, their food wasn’t too different from Lilia’s.

“What’s wrong, Lilia?”

At Tina’s question, Lilia hurriedly shook her head. Putting on a smile, she replied that it was nothing.

After offering their thanks for the meal, Lilia’s movements came to a halt. She was lost as to how she was supposed to eat the meal. In the first place, there was no knife and fork. What were these two strange sticks for?

“Ah, perhaps Lilia, you’ve never used chopsticks before?”

“Ahh… That is true. I’ve not.”

“I see… I probably should have asked for something else. What to do…”

“Tina. Let me see how you use it. I’ll learn from watching.”

“Eh…”

Tina looked lost for a moment, but quickly regained her focus and nodded. She held the things called chopsticks for Lilia to see. With an unfamiliar holding method, the chopsticks moved with the movement of Tina’s fingers and actually picked up a piece of the fried vegetables for Lilia to see.
Nodding in understanding, Lilia tried to imitate Tina’s movements. Perhaps due to this being her first time it was quite difficult, but after moving the sticks repeatedly she managed to get the hang of it. Just like Tina, she picked up a piece of the fried vegetables and brought it to her mouth.

“Yeah. It’s not bad.”

Lilia nodded in satisfaction, while beside her Tina really seemed befuddled this time.

“What’s wrong?”

“Ah, umm… Lilia, you seem to be really clever or… Even though it took me quite a while to be able to properly use chopsticks…”

“Is that so… This thing…”

Moving the chopsticks around, Lilia muttered disinterestedly. She quickly returned to eating.

—Somehow, Lilia you really seem to be a bundle of talent or something… Quite impressive. Maybe it’s because of your good memory?

—My, nothing will come of your flattery though.

—The personality is horrible though.

—……

Lilia’s face twitched at the layering of sarcasm in their conversation. Remembering that there were gazes from the surroundings on her, she quickly hid her expression. She forcibly covered it with a smile.

“How is it, Lilia? The food over here.”

“Well… It really is food for commoners, but it’s not bad.”

She didn’t think that simply frying random vegetables and meat together could make something taste as good as this. It was probably also due to the fact that she wasn’t too familiar with eating such things, but the freshness of the experience was quite delicious. It might be good to come again at the next opportunity, she thought as she carried the vegetables to her mouth,

—Migyaaah!

“Waaah!”

Sakura’s shriek made Lilia give a loud shout that surprised even herself. Tina stopped moving as she stared at Lilia with her eyes dotted in surprise, and their surroundings were also examining Lilia’s expression wondering what had happened. When Lilia calmed down, driving away the surrounding gazes,

“It’s nothing at all, ohohoho.”

Even she felt that line unnatural, but now wasn’t the time to be worrying about that. Lilia called out to Sakura.

 


 

(Author’s Note)
From the time I created that setting, I’ve been wanting to write this scene the entire time.
…It ended up being cut off though.

Sakura
Lilia


<Previous Chapter | JAONNN! | Next Chapter>

Turf War – Chapter 16

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ.

Thank you for your consideration, guys!


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Chapter 16 – The Fiend’s True Colours – “Wow, I’m feeling so worn out.”

“Tiiiiimu!”

I ran through the streets shouting my beloved sister’s name.

The Fiend was coming!

I sprinted with all my might to save Timu from being a meat slave.

I was heading straight for the Academy. My surroundings turned into a blur as I ran.

Yaaah! I’ll break Mach 1 if I have to!

I arrived at the Academy in no time. It felt incredibly fast even for myself. Did I just teleport? I think I might have broken a record. I could probably make nationals.

Now that I was here, I had a look around. The other students seemed to be on the way home. I found myself in the midst of cheerful students.

But where was Timu?

I continued searching the academy grounds but I couldn’t find her anywhere. Could she already have gone home? Did I pass her on the way here…?

I decided to ask somebody about it.

“U-Um, excuse me?” I called out to a sweet-looking girl in a ponytail.

“Is something the matter?”

“I’m looking for my sister. Do you know a girl called Timu?”

“Hmmm. I wish I could help you but with just a name… There are thousands of other students…”

“Ah, then I’ll describe her. She’s a cute girl about this tall, with red eyes and silver hair――”

“Hiie! S-Silver hair!? D-Don’t tell me, C-Camilla-sama…?”

Hu-, Huuuh? How did silver hair turn into “Camilla”?

Wai-! D-, Don’t tell me!

“S-Saaay, is that silver-haired girl forcing people to call her Camilla?”

“Y-, Yes. By now everybody at school knows. At first people thought she was an oddball for trying to use the name of that legendary demon. But gradually the students, and even the teachers began to acknowledge Camilla-sama…”

“O-, Oh my god…”

“Ah!? P-Please don’t misunderstand! I-I’m not trying to talk bad about C-Camilla-sama at all! F-Forgive meeeeee!” screamed the girl as she dashed off.

“Ah-, wai-, hey-, aah geez…”

Well, I already pretty much knew what was going on.

Timu, you…

You’ve really done it now…

Timu was going around introducing herself as Demon Camilla. She’s a chuunibyou so of course she was. Normally nobody with a lick of common sense would let that pass.

But right now Timu’s homeroom teacher was Edim’s kin(Jayjay). I can see it now. Timu ⇒ Edim ⇒ Jayjay

Ah, god, that idiot! At this rate your graduation certificate is going to say Camilla as well, you know!

You might be happy with that now but you’ll regret it in the future! You’ll regret it so badly that you can’t help but squirm on your bed, okay!

Oh goodness, another thing to worry about. But I could deal with that later. Right now I had to deal with the Fiend first.

I continued searching the campus for a while but there was still no sign of Timu. Her bag wasn’t in her classroom either, so I was starting to think she wasn’t here.

Did we really pass each other by?

I decided to try searching the way home, this time taking shortcuts and detours into account as well…

Before long I spotted two girls walking down a narrow lane. One of them had glittering silver hair! Timu!

T-Thank goodness. I made it in time before she bumped into the Fiend.

I approached the pair with a smile on my face.

Timu seemed to be getting along with the brown-haired girl next to her. Looking carefully, the brown-haired girl was Edim, and she was carrying Timu’s bag――――wai-, Timu! You’re making your friend carry your stuff?

Speaking of which, it feels like Edim is always carrying her bag. Ah, geez. Edim is a nice girl so I don’t think she cares but if you stay so overbearing you’ll lose all your friends, Timu. I’d better have a long talk about this as well.

But first…

“Timu.”

“Why if it isn’t Oneesama!” she said with a bright smile.

My sister really is adorable. I can’t let the Fiend hurt this smile.

“Timu, it’s a bit sudden but you can’t go home. The Fiend might attack you.”

“Oneesama, what might this “fiend” be…?”

“It’s Or. He’s been playing the nice guy all while planning to trap us!”

“Wha-!? Damned Ortissio again!?”

Timu seemed shocked. Yeah. I was shocked too. Ortissio, the scion of a major noble family. A bourgeois just like the Fiend. A wolf in lamb’s skin just waiting to turns us sisters into meat slaves.

“It’s hard to believe, right?”

“Unforgivable! Damned Ortissio! Give him an inch and he takes a mile!” shouted Timu.

“O-Ortissio-sama was planning a rebellion…?”

Edim seemed to have trouble believing it as well. Yeah. If Mum hadn’t told me I’d have never noticed either. Oh no! Mum! I left her with the Fiend! Oh no. I told her not to talk to him but what if in her worry for us she tries to do it anyway. I have to get back!

“That’s how it is, so you need to find somewhere to hide, Timu. I’ll head back now and――”

“No, dealing with my failure of a kin is my responsibility. Damned Ortissio’s head is mine.”

“You can’t, Timu. What if he attacks you!”

“O-Oneesama, that is too much! Are you saying I would lose to the likes of Ortissio?”

“No, no, I mean――”

He’s a Fiend, right? He’s a noble just like the Fiend!

Just because he can’t do push-ups doesn’t mean…

And just because he comes sobbing to me when everyone picks on him doesn’t mean…

And just because he’s calcium deficient and he tearfully drinks the milk I force on him every day doesn’t mean…

……

…………

………………

Huh? Why the hell was I so scared of Ortissio again? Ortissio as the Fiend? Whoawhoawhoa, hold your horses!

The actual Fiend that Mum talked about might be a terrifying guy but that has nothing to do with Or, right? The Fiend wasn’t just some noble. He was also a terrifying magician and he used that to terrorise others as well. The only thing he has in common with Or is being a noble. Wow, I’ve been a massive idiot.

Hiding from Or?

Being afraid of Or?

Wow, what the hell. I could take Or down with one punch. Plus, I’ve even got Edim and Myuu if it comes down to a fight. Plus, Edim has her happy(?) group of kin as well. They could probably even hold off a whole army for five minutes.

Wow. Thanks to Mum I got a bit too panicked there.

“Oneesama, let us immediately bring down the iron hammer of justice upon that traitor!”

Uh oh. Timu looks really serious. Or already has a prior history of rebellion. Timu might really murder Or with her Magical Bullets at this rate. Now that she’s improved her skills at the Academy I can really see it happening.

“Ah~ Calm down, Timu. If you use all your power you might really kill Or.”

“Oneesama, even three tenths of my power would be enough to slay the likes of Ortissio.”

“R-, Right… With how powerful you are these days, I’ll bet you could even kill him with a tenth of your power.”

“A tenth… Hmmm, that might be difficult even for me. Even with all his flaws Ortissio is still my kin. If you wish for me to kill him with a tenth of my power then I must formulate a strategy.”

“U-, Ummm, Timu, that’s not what I――”

“Huhu, please leave it to me. Since you asked, Oneesama, I shall not disappoint. I shall show you how I slay Ortissio with just one tenth of my power.”

Oh boy. Why are chuunibyou so hard to talk to. She’s really going to fire magical bullets at Or now. Oh geez, I might not be worried for her safety now but I’ve got a possible murder to deal with instead.

“Timu! Listen to me!”

“Understood.”

“You know, your Oneechan just kind of made a mistake. Looks like Or wasn’t actually planning anything too bad.”

“In other words, Ortissio has done no wrong?”

“Right, right! Exactly. So let’s not do anything violent, okay?”

“You are mistaken, Oneesama.”

“Eh!? How come?”

“Even if Ortissio was truly not planning anything, the moment you suspected him of treachery was enough to show how shallow his loyalty was. He must be punished.”

“Um, isn’t that a little too strict on him?”

“Huhu, Oneesama, that cur already has a previous conviction. Even if you forgive him, I cannot accept any mongrels that defy my beloved sister.”

Whoa, Timu seems really angry. I might have made a mess of things. Let’s try and reverse the positions. Somebody tried to attack Timu. Since Timu forgave him, I somehow held back my anger. Then Timu told me that the bastard was thinking of trying something again. Yep. I’d kill him too. Actually, I’d have killed him on his first try.

Well, I can understand where she’s coming from now. Still, I can’t just let her be a criminal. Also I’m feeling really sorry for Or again. Even though he always follows her around, going “Camilla-sama, Camilla-sama”…

Although recently there’s been a lot of “Tilea-sama, Tilea-sama” as well…

It’d be too pitiful to let Timu beat him up. What the!? Could this be my maternal instincts surfacing!? Anyway, maybe I’ll try getting Edim to help.

“Or hasn’t even done anything and we’re going to punish him. Edim, don’t you think it’s a bit much as well?”

“I shall abide by Camilla-sama.”

“I know that you like Timu but please abide by me this time.”

“Eh-!? B-But, but I…”

“Edim, you can’t always just be following Timu. What do you think this time?” I continued.

“Edim, Oneesama has given an order. I will allow it. Speak your mind,” added Timu.

“I-, I understand. Let me see. I have not personally seen any signs of Ortissio-sama plotting rebellion. However, it is a fact that Tilea-sama has suspected him of it. I believe that he must be punished, but perhaps the death sentence is going too far.”

“Edim, are you saying you want to forgive that Ortissio!”

“H-Hiie! M-My deepest apologies. I-I was simply…”

“Simply what! It’s unthinkable that you would feel that way if you had any loyalty towards Oneesama!”

“That’s enough, Timu. Edim was just speaking her mind.”

“H-, However, Oneesama…”

“Anyway, just leave Ortissio to me. This is an executive order.”

“An executive order!? I-, I understand. If that is the case then I have nothing left to say. However, when you execute him, please allow me to be the executioner.”

Haha, wow, this ‘executive order’ thing is convenient as always. Why are chuunibyou so weak to words like this. It’s not like I use it all the time but it’s stopped a few of Timu’s rampages before. Anyway, I’ve forced Timu to accept. All that’s left is to solve the misunderstanding with Mum.

Along the way Edim headed off to her dorm, so it was just Timu and I when we arrived at the store.

“Mum, we really need to have a talk――”

“Tilea!?”

“Yup, it’s me, Tilea. What’s wrong, Mum? Is everything okay?”

“Don’t come inside!”

Heh!? How come?

I entered the restaurant to find chaos.

W-What the heck is going on!?

Mum was trying to stab Or.


<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Turf War – Chapter 15

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ.

Thank you for your consideration, guys!


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Might want to have a read of Volume 1, Chapter 31 first: https://oniichanyamete.wordpress.com/2015/10/02/tileas-worries-chapter-31/


Chapter 15 – Sera vs Ortissio the Fiend!?

“Niel, stoppu! Y-You two, stand by outside!”

“”As you will!””

The two of them did as my daughter asked and left the room. Nielsen is one thing, but Ortissio the noble listened as well. Was he trying to play up his harmlessness? Or did he have some other scheme?

Wait, hang on. More importantly…

…Tilea, weren’t you supposed to let me meet him?

“Tilea, why did you tell the two of them to wait outside?”

“Be-, B-Because I’m not mentally prepared yet…”

I looked up to find my daughter shaking pitifully, pacing about the room.

“Calm down a little.”

“Mum, w-w-w-what do we do? We’re going to be turned into meat slaves!”

Oh dear. Did I scare her a little too much? Tilea was too trusting in Ortissio so I brought up the Fiend as a bit of a warning, but…

I suppose it was a little too effective. I could pick out “The Fiend is-! The Fiend is-!” and “Anything but a meat slave!” amongst my daughter’s ramblings in the background. I couldn’t exactly talk to Ortissio with Tilea like this.

Certainly, Ortissio isn’t trustworthy. It’s more than possible that he’s using all this money to deceive my daughter. Tilea is silly but cute, so perhaps he intends to bind her with debts to satiate his lust. I need to find out what he wants. And for that to happen I need Tilea to calm down.

Gosh, why did I not see this coming. My daughter has always had the terrible habit of fixating on an idea once it gets into her head. Once she’s afraid of something she’ll believe it until the end.

“Just calm down, Tilea.”

“Oh no, the Fiend. The Fiend is coming. The calcium deficient Fiend is cominggg!”

It’s no use. She’s not listening at all. Also what on earth does she mean by “kalsiyum deficient”?

Sometimes my daughter will mutter made-up words. When she was young my husband and I had suspected that it was some illness of the mind so we invited a physician to have a look at her. When his prognosis was, “She’s not ill. That’s just her personality,” I was relieved but also incredibly sad for some reason. Well, these days I’ve come to find her silliness quite endearing though.

At any rate, I need to calm her down!

I held Tilea firmly by the shoulders and looked straight into her eyes.

“Tilea!”

Oh, that seemed to work. Tilea stopped muttering and grasped onto my hands.

“Ah… M-, Mum… W-What do we do…?”

“Leave the talking to your Mum. There’s nothing for you to worry about,” I said as I gripped her trembling hands back.

“B-But, he’s a powerful noble just like that Fiend that eats women.”

“It’s going to be okay. Your mother is actually quite good at negotiating these days. I won’t let him push me around.”

“R-, Really?”

“Yeah. So you wait outside for a little while, okay?”

Having you here might cause all kinds of problems.

“B-But I can’t just leave you alone, Mum. I’ll stay.”

Tilea’s legs were still shaking. She must have been terrified. But she still managed to muster her bravery for her mother. She really is such a sweet child. I can’t let anything happen to her.

“I’ll be fine, Tilea. Besides, isn’t Timu coming home from school soon?”

“Oh no! At this rate she’ll bump into the Fiend(Or)!”

“Right? So I want you to pick her up for me.”

“B-But…”

“You’re an older sister, Tilea. Don’t cut corners and take care of your sister!”

“You’re right! I’ll find her and we’ll be back in no time. Mum, you can’t be alone with him.”

“Yes, yes.”

“I’ll be back really soon, okay?”

With that, Tilea rushed outside.

Sorry, Tilea. I really hate abusing your concern for Timu like this but I really need you away from here.

Alright then. Time to negotiate.

I clapped my cheeks to wake myself up, and then went to talk to the two men still standing outside.

“Ortissio-san, Nielsen-san, please come in.”

“However, Tilea-sama ordered us to stand by…”

“My daughter has left on an urgent errand.”

“I see. Then we shall stand by until she returns.”

Wai-, Nielsen-san, aren’t you taking this a little too seriously? If Tilea tells you to wait here will you stand here until the next morning!?

Goodness, Nielsen-san is the same as ever. Always following my daughter’s words to the letter. Even when those words are completely ridiculous. I don’t know if it’s because they help him at work but he never treats himself as their equal. Honestly, I don’t know if I should praise him for his earnestness or…

“Nielsen-san, Tilea said that you don’t need to stand by any more.”

“Then I shall stand by until Tilea-sama returns to confirm my orders.”

Oh my goodness, this man is too inflexible. What kind of adult are you if you’ll treat a child’s babble as law!

“Um, did my daughter not tell you about how I wanted to speak with Ortissio-san?”

“She did indeed tell me.”

“Then, if possible I’d like to have a chat with him while we wait for my daughter, but…”

“However, Tilea-sama ordered us to stand by…”

He’s still undecided. Sigh. When Nielsen-san is being stubborn like this nothing I say makes a difference. What do I usually do to get around this. Oh right, “A Secret Mission From Tilea”. I’m going to have to use that word again, aren’t I.

“Nielsen-san, my daughter wanted us to finish our discussion before she arrived home. She said that this was an… executive order.”

Silence reigned.

And then…

“I see. Then please excuse me.”

Finally.

Hahh, I’m starting to really see what Tilea means about this man. I’ll bet it’s this personality of his that kept him unemployed for so long.

I let out another sigh as he headed inside. Following behind him was a young man of perhaps thirty. His face was ordinary and unremarkable. I supposed that this was Ortissio.

Get your game face on, Sera. You’re used to dealing with these nobles. Make sure to protect your daughters!

Just as I was firing myself up…

“Greetings. My name is Ortissio Bo Bach. It is my humble pleasure to make your acquaintance, Sera-sama,” said the man, before immediately prostrating himself before me.

Eh!? Eh!? Do you have to go that far!?

This was beyond the scope of my expectations. An aristocrat getting on hands and knees to prostrate himself before a commoner? No matter what kind of plan he had I just couldn’t imagine a noble throwing away their pride like this.

Oh no. This was so unexpected that I couldn’t think straight.

U-Up! I had to get him up! A noble prostrating to a commoner like this could be the seed for all kinds of trouble…

“U-Um, Ortissio-san, please raise your head. I truly don’t know what to do!”

“Understood.”

“Is there any soldier who would just raise their heeeaaaad!?”

“Guhah-!”

Out of the blue, Nielsen-san started bellowing and then struck Ortissio in the back of his head, causing him to fall flat onto the ground.

“N-Nielsen-san!? What are you doing!”

“Oh? I was simply disciplining him. I am teaching Ortissio the appropriate bearing for a retainer.”

“Discipli-, p-please don’t just suddenly hit people!” I screamed in the chaos.

How could you treat a major noble this way…

No matter what kind of fault the noble had, striking them like this was grounds for being sentenced for treason.

Are you insane, Nielsen-san! You’re really just like Tilea said. And here I thought you had more sense than this.

Forget about attacking a noble, suddenly hitting anybody like that is insane! Wait, don’t tell me he’s actually going senile at his age…

“Ortissio. At Sera-sama’s request I will end your punishment here. Remember your respect next time.”

“Y-Yes.”

Ortissio shakily returned to his feet. He seemed to have been concussed.

“Ortissio, you dare command a division when you can be shaken with such a punch?”

“M-My deepest apologies.”

“Apologies are meaningless. More importantly…”

And thus began Nielsen-san’s merciless verbal attack on the unsteady Ortissio.

…………

……………………

………………………………

“N-Nielsen-san, isn’t that enough…? You could be arrested for treating a noble this way, you know?”

“Noble? Sera-sama, you were told that damned Ortissio was a noble?”

“Well, yes?”

“Impossible. How could Ortissio be a noble.”

“Eh-, is he not? My daughter told me he was so I was sure…”

Hahh, goodness, that ridiculous girl!

Ortissio-san wasn’t a noble. It looks like that girl has gotten into yet another incredible misunderstanding.

“…Actually, Ortissio is indeed a noble. Isn’t that right, Ortissio!”

“Y-Yes. I am a noble. My parents and their ancestors were of course nobles, making me also a noble.”

“H-Hold on. Nielsen-san? Didn’t you just say that he wasn’t a noble? Which one is it?”

“My sincere apologies, Sera-sama. At my age I seem to be forgetting things all the time. That was a mistake. Tilea-sama’s words are the correct ones. Damned Ortissio is most undeniably and unmistakably a noble.”

After that, the two of them began going on about how this ancestor was a count, or how this other ancestor was a duke…

What on earth is wrong with these two…

It’s way too fake! They’re acting like complete children! Even Ortissio being a noble is under doubt now!

Still, the truth remained that Ortissio was incredibly rich. At the very least the furnishings in this restaurant could attest to that. But I wasn’t sure if it was possible to have a proper chat about the debt. Nielsen-san in particular was acting especially strangely. Could it be he really was becoming senile…?

I levelled a careful gaze at him. His hair was silver-grey, and his moustache was trimmed frustratingly neatly. Mn. A total fop of a man. But he didn’t seem at all senile. Still, I could tell that his being here was only going to get in the way of things.

“S-Say, Nielsen-san, do you think you could leave the two of us to have a chat in private…?”

“Understood. Well then, I shall stand by outside.”

“Sorry about this. In the end I’m kicking you out.”

“Absolutely not. This much is natural for a retainer such as myself. Well then, Ortissio, do your best to remain respectful.”

“O-Of course I will.”

“Sera-sama, if damned Ortissio shows you any disrespect you need only call out for me. I shall acquaint him with the iron fist of the law,” said Nielsen-san as he clenched a fist in front of his chest. Not a shred of fear towards nobility could be seen in him. It was as though he was talking about some naughty neighbourhood kid.

“…Nielsen-san, Ortissio-san truly is a noble isn’t he?”

“Yes, that is exactly the case.”

“Could it be that you also hold a peerage, Nielsen-san?”

I could at least understand if he was also an aristocrat.

“Is that what Tilea-sama told you?”

“No, I haven’t heard anything like that. But you just seem so close with Ortissio-san.”

“Ha ha! I simply go back a long way with this idiot. But I myself am simply…”

“Simply…?”

“…Sera-sama, may I ask what Tilea-sama said about me?”

“Eh!? J-Just that… Well, she called you a ‘chuuneebyoh’ and a ‘niit’.”

“Ohh! That is exactly right. I am indeed a ‘chuuneebyoh’ and a ‘niit’.”

W-Why are you declaring that so proudly! Tilea told me that a ‘chuuneebyoh’ means somebody who can’t face reality and holds all kinds of embarrassing delusions, and a ‘niit’ is a useless human who won’t find a job.

I don’t understand. I’ve only known Nielsen-san for a little over a year. There are still too many things I don’t understand about this man. Anyway, I need to focus on Ortissio.

Once Nielsen-san left to ‘stand by’ outside, Ortissio sat down opposite me at the table.

“U-Um, Sera-sama,” he began meekly, “You said you had something to discuss with me?”

“Yes. I deeply apologise for the losses my daughter has incurred upon your store.”

I decided first to begin with apologising for Tilea’s mismanagement. Because of the earlier prostrating perhaps it wasn’t as effective as I would have liked, though. Unfortunately I couldn’t return the favour. The nobility will grasp at any weakness you show them.

Confusingly, Ortissio didn’t seem to understand because he stared blankly at me. His entire expression was screaming ‘Why am I being apologised to?’. Did he even know about the debt? Could it be that the restaurant was owned by somebody else?

And just as expected…

“U-Um, I do not understand what you are apologising about…”

So I voiced my doubts.

“My daughter owes you a great debt, does she not? You own this shop, right?”

“I certainly have handed money over to Tilea-sama. However, you say that I’m the owner of this shop?”

“Are you not? My daughter said that you were.”

“…T-, That’s exactly right. I am indeed the owner of this shop, who is Ortissio. I look forward to your continued patronage.”

An incredibly unnatural response… What on earth have these two been playing at…

“And what might the truth be?”

“As I said, I am the owner.”

“Y-, You must be joking, right?”

“No, no, I would not dare.”

“…Very well. In any case, I would like to talk about the debt. I sincerely apologise but at this point in time we have no means to pay it back. You could say that we can’t ever pay back the entirety. However, we will try our best in instalments to contri-”

“Debt? There is no need to pay it back. Actually, far from repayment I would be more than happy to continue providing money as long as Tilea-sama still desires.”

“W-What are you saying! The debt has already exceeded a hundred million gold, you know. Are you saying that you’re going to just forget about that!”

“Yes, quite so. Is there some problem…?”

“Hah!? There’s a huge problem! Three hundred million gold in debt. I can’t believe that you’d just forget about that. And you keep saying “Tilea-sama, Tilea-sama”… You’re a high-ranking noble, and the owner of this store, aren’t you? What are you planning by acting like a servant!”

“Ah, no, that’s because the Generalissimo of the Evil God Army is none other than… I mean, wait… S-Say, Sera-sama, I apologise for the sudden question but what do you know about the Evil God Army?”

“Evil God Army? What is that supposed to mean? An army of demons? Shouldn’t it be the Demon King Army then?”

“Hm. So if I mentioned the terms ‘Evil God-sama’ and the ‘Legendary Demon Camilla-sama’ you wouldn’t understand…”

“What are yo talking about! Are you planning on lecturing me on history now? Please do not avoid the subject.”

“I see… So Tilea-sama… is hiding it… Then I too.”

“W-Why are you just muttering to yourself! Are you saying that Tilea is involved in this Evil God Army?”

“No, no, I was simply talking to myself. It is nothing that you need to worry about. R-Right, I was simply thinking about some of the military investments I’ve made. As a noble.”

“I see. I wouldn’t understand investments in military expenses. But please do not get my daughter involved.”

“Of course. Tilea-sa…n, is simply an excellent cook that I employ.”

Suspicious. He’s clearly hiding something. This man might be smiling politely but it doesn’t reach his eyes. At a glance he might seem incredibly courteous but from his eyes I can tell that he thinks of me as an idiot. No, as a bug of some kind.

Because of this act, Tilea has probably mistaken him for a good person. This is bad. There’s something incredibly dangerous about this. I was right, Tilea. You’re being deceived.

“Do you think I’ll just accept that! Even if you’ve fooled my daughter, you haven’t fooled me.”

“Nobody is fooling anybody. Tilea-sa…n, is simply a talented cook with incredible prospects. That I have any ill-intentions towards her is unthinkable. And that debt you mentioned might be a lot to you, but as a major noble it simply isn’t much. Please be at ease.”

“A few hundred million isn’t much, you say!”

“Yes, exactly so.”

It didn’t feel as though he was lying. He really didn’t seem to think anything of that money. But no matter how he saw it, the debt was still a three hundred million.

In the end, why did Ortissio spend so much money on my daughter? It made no sense.

Whether for good or for ill, my daughter is incredibly beautiful. It wouldn’t be strange for some noble to want her. But a few hundred million was simply too much. I couldn’t read this man at all.

“Let’s just be honest with each other.”

“In other words…?”

“What are you planning?”

“Planning? I would never…”

“Please stop taking me for a fool!”

In my anger I pointed my self-defence dagger at his stomach.

“Please stop this, Sera-sama.”

Even with a dagger pointed at him, he was still completely composed. As I thought, he was somebody from the underworld. The man reeked of danger.

“Listen. My daughter might be an idiot, but she’s a good girl who loves her parents! I won’t allow you to hurt her.”

“Hmph. I’ve been keeping silent, but the likes of you making light of…”

“Oh? So you’re finally showing your true colours. I have to say, it suits you much better than that cheap smile you had plastered on.”

Youuu!

Ortissio’s expression warped with rage. I finally got him to discard his mask. It would have been impossible to find out what he wanted as long as he kept giving me evasive answers.

It’s dangerous, but like this I’ll be able to find out what he really wants.


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Reika-sama – 087

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If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!

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With Marin-sensei’s help, I managed to get past a term-end exam. I don’t think I did well, though. That’s why I decided I would enroll for summer cram school.
I guess I’m too weak-willed for self study. There’s just too much temptation lying around the house. Each time there was some problem I couldn’t solve I found myself needle felting, or rearranging my room, or something else.
I’ve decided that if I like the cram school I’ll continue doing it in Term 2 as well. So please, anything but the remedials again…

*

The day of the last exam. It finished in the morning so I went home and got changed. Today I had somewhere to be.
The post office. I wanted to deposit some money, and to buy some postage stamps.
It’s actually a small hobby of mine, stamp collecting. It’s fun keeping some of the cute ones. I don’t have anybody to send letters to, though.
I particularly like some of the anime ones, or the ones with cute figures on them. I have some robot anime ones, and some with characters from picture books.
There was also this Rococo Queen one. Naturally I bought some. I think you’re meant to use multiple stamps or something so I bought extras just in case. Not that I have anywhere to send anything right now.
I was a little embarrassed because I was worried somebody would think I was cosplaying her, but I liked these the most so I’m glad I found the courage.
I hope I’ll get to use them though. Aoi-chan would probably accept it with a smile. Maybe I’ll send her something then~

I was wearing something more casual than most of my other outfits, a feminine dress with a ribbon below the chest. There was somewhere else I wanted to go today, so it wouldn’t do to look too much like an ojousama.
Before going to the post office, I was going to have lunch at a soba restaurant, so I chose something less eyecatching.
Geez, I’m so hungry. What should I have~

*

The soba place was in a mall building. Looking at the menu I found myself at a loss. Sansai vegetable soba would be good, but then chilled soba sounded appetising too. Aah, but it has to be tempura soba in the end!

087a

It came with two prawns, and was delicious. I’m glad I picked this. It had plenty of spring onion too, which is good for the blood, right?
Actually it was so delicious that I ended up draining the broth dry. Mn, so satisfied!

*

After relaxing a bit, I headed to the post office, a large one nearby.
The counter was packed with people so I got a ticket and went to browse the stamps.
These animal stamps are pretty nice, but I like these traditional art-themed ones too~ Maybe I’ll get a few of these Japanese Waka poem stamps.
In the end I found some cute animal ones so I decided to buy those this time. I made up my mind to come again someday.
Happily making my way back to counter, I discovered that there was still quite a while until it was my turn. It was packed so there probably wasn’t anywhere to sit either.
Ah well. I’m still young so a bit of standing won’t kill me.
Just as I was thinking that, some salaryman gave me his seat.
What a gentleman! I guess even Japan has learnt the ‘ladies first’ custom. Thank you, nameless salaryman.
I thanked him with a smile and took a seat.
It’s funny how small acts of kindness can really pick up your mood.
Not that I wasn’t still feeling a bit ill from all the tempura soba I ate. I mean, I drank all the broth too.
As I rubbed my tummy unconsciously, the lady next to me asked,

“How many months?”

Months? What months?

“?”

“You look around 5 months, I’d guess? I hope you give birth to a healthy child.”

“…”

… … … …Eh?

Don’t tell me… Don’t tell me I’ve been mistaken for a pregnant woman!?
Why!? Because I rubbed my tummy!?
I’m not! It’s just because my stomach is full!

“…I’m… not pregnant…”

“Eh?”

“There’s no baby in there…”

I tensed my muscles and pulled in my stomach as far as possible. Which wasn’t far, mind.

“Oh, oh goodness, I’m sorry,” she said, looking incredibly awkward as she found somewhere else to sit.

Gasp! Don’t tell me!
I turned around and the salaryman from earlier averted his gaze.
You too!?
So he gave me my seat because he thought I was pregnant!?

Holy hell…
Apparently I became pregnant without realising. I’ll bet some archangel will descend to announce my pregnancy at any moment now. Son of the God of the Fat Country, please hurry up and be born. If not I’ll be stuck with this belly forever.

…Haha. I really need to stop escaping reality. I was just getting fat.
And there was one other thing I needed to accept.
Could it be that I’m aging? Do I look old enough to be happily pregnant already?
Not only am I fat, I’m older-looking too?
Wow, these lights are kind of dazzling. So dazzling that my eyes are tearing up…
And it still wasn’t my turn at the counter yet──

After trying not to cry as I made my way home, I shut myself in my room and transformed into a hula-hooping devil.
Then I did sit-ups and crunches too. I noticed that I was less fit now.

Starting from the next day my lunches were going to be basically salad. I told the girls at school,

“The heat has been a bit much so my appetite has been dwindling…”

Although they replied with stuff like “Get better soon,” I’ll bet they all realised…
At the Pivoine I only drank tea. Apparently today’s snack was blueberry tarts but I couldn’t have any!
People keep recommending this or that but I could only reject them with an excuse about my appetite.
Even looking hurt.
While that was happening, Enjou who happened to pass by suddenly smiled and said,

“Do your best,” before leaving.

He noticed too? Don’t say needless things! You’re making me even hungrier.

*

When I texted Sakura-chan my grievances, she suddenly replied,

“Zazen meditation, and waterfall training. Which do you want?”

Apparently she thought I ought to fix my weak will first. Not that she didn’t have a point. I’m honestly one of those people who are harsh on others but easy on myself.
Anyway, that’s why I now had a trip to a zazen session with Sakura-chan planned.
By the way, Sakura-chan, I’ll probably fall asleep if I keep my eyes shut for more than three minutes but is that okay?
Also for some reason Okaasama suggested I go to some fasting camp with her. So there was that planned too.
Apparently my entire summer break was going to be dedicated to training and losing weight.
Is my third eye finally going to open!?


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Turf War – Chapter 14

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ.

Thank you for your consideration, guys!


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Chapter 14 – “Ortissio the Fiend!? We have to escape!”

“Orrr? Where are you?”

I wandered about underground for him.

I checked training rooms A to D but only found Pervert(Nielsen) and Muram. Drenched in sweat as always.

I mean, I can appreciate their efforts but they were still on their 5 kg weights, and were always wheezing after a few dozen push-ups. Still way below the fitness of an average man.

Well whatever. Try your best.

Anyway, the point is Or wasn’t there.

As for where else he might have been… Hm, the break room, or maybe the meeting room…?

I checked all the likely places but found nothing.

Phew, who on earth made this place so big, anyhow. It’s not like I had the time to search every single room.

In the end I decided to just ask somebody. I called out to a passerby.

“Ah~ You there, yes, you!”

“W-, Why if it isn’t Tilea-sama!” he answered nervously.

Gosh, this again!?

Why do all the grunt members get so nervous around me?

It’s tiring!

This is exactly why I didn’t want to ask somebody. Is this boot camp? Am I some colonel? Am I the General? Am I the bloody Demon King! Stop being so frantic around a little girl, already!

Unfortunately, my mental complaints went unheeded because the guy stood stock-still at attention. It felt like he would spend his whole life standing here without my dismissal.

God, this is why shut-in chuunibyou are…

“Um, hey, I’ve already told you guys before but can you not be so stiff around me?”

“Understood, Milady!”

How is that any less stiff.

Well whatever. I suppose I can understand. I mean, not only are they chuunibyou, they’re kind of losers too. A cute girl like me talks to them and they tense right up. I get it. Plus, Timu and I are kind of like the idols of this whole group, so maybe his heart is beating so hard he’s trying not to faint? That’s how it is with idol otaku, right?

I mean, apparently the tickets to my “The Evil God’s Splendrous Techniques” performances have a waiting list and a premium on them. And each time I perform, there are people outside the room watching in.

Actually, Dryas-kun tells me that the demand and supply is so bad that even fights have broken out…

Then again, it is Dryas-kun saying it.

Anyhow, I’m basically like some super idol to them. I’ll be frank. I know I’m hot. But having a bunch of grown men squabble over some random girl like me is kind of disturbing.

No matter how starved for entertainment they are in this world without internet there’s still a point at which I just want to ask them to grow up a bit.
Whatever. I can worry about their futures later. For now there’s something else I need to do.

“Umm, you’re… Gorhon, right?”

“No, Milady. I am Orhon, of the Evil God Army’s 1st Division.”

“Orhon… Right, right, you were Orhon, weren’t you. So Orhon, say…”

“Yes, Milady.”

“Do you have any idea where Or is?”

“Yes, Milady. I believe he is presently inspecting a treasury.”

“Treasury? That’s weeeird… I swear I just checked…”

“Commander Ortissio should be in the Treasury C, Milady.”

“Oh, oka――wha-, C!? There’s a Treasury C?”

“Yes, Milady.”

T-, Then doesn’t that mean there’s an A and a B, or maybe even a Z?

“U-Uh, say, are there other treasuries aside from the one on the right at the end of this hallway?”

“Yes, Milady. From my knowledge there should be roughly ten of them or so…”

Just how freaking rich is this family? That one treasury I do know is already packed to the brim.

Or, aren’t you like the ultimate rich boy!?

No wonder. No wonder he can piss away all that money. Geez, just how deep is his family’s wallet. I can’t imagine that they gathered all this money without dirtying their hands.

I know it sounds prejudiced but that’s how rich people are, right? I can’t let Mum meet him at this rate. It’s bad enough that he’s some spoilt rich boy, but the chuunibyou on top of that? It’s a recipe for disaster.

I’d better have a few words with him first.

“Are you busy right now, Orhon?”

“No, Milady. My commanding officer may be waiting for me but your orders are always the priority.”

“Okay. Then could you pop down to that treasury and call Or for me?”

“As you desire,” he said, before sprinting off. Mmn. I’m happy that he’s taking this so seriously, but isn’t he being a bit too serious? What if he trips. But wow, was he that happy to be speaking to me?

Gosh, these damned chuunibyou! With so many of them gathered here, I’ll never be able to relax.

This is exactly why I need to have a word with Or first. What should I do. Should I just stand next to him the whole time and translate…?

“Tilea-sama, I, Ortissio, have humbly arrived.”

Ortissio arrived while I was thinking.

“That was fast. Were you nearby, Or?”

“No, I was at the northernmost treasury. I offer my sincere apologies for the late arrival.”

“Haha…”

What ‘northernmost’! This underground empire is bigger than the damned town, you know. How could anybody come this quickly from the northernmost tip! Damned Or, trying to act cool even though you were probably just around the corner! This is why I hate dealing with chuunibyou.

“I was thinking that it’s about time for me to start learning teleportation magic as well. There’s a bit of a time loss when merely running with body reinforcement magic.”

“Or, enough about that already.”

“Understood.”

“Or, the truth is that my mum wants to meet you.”

“By your mother, you mean…?”

“She normally lives in Beruga Town but today she’s here in the Capital.”

“Beruga…?”

“Yeah, Beruga where Timu and I came from, and the person who came today is our mother. She is absolutely not Mamira. Got it?” I explained to Or before he jumped to weird conclusions.

Oi, pay attention now. You play make-believe so much that I’m worried you think we actually came from the Demonic Capital Benz or something.

“I understand. So it’s the woman that’s your temporary moth――HEBURAH!”

I smacked him with a backfist.

Hahh, I knew it…

Looks like a repeat of the time with Pervert(Nielsen).
[tln: see chapter 28~30]

It’s not like I was expecting otherwise but god this is such a headache. Maybe I should get Pervert(Nielsen) to help me. After that one time, Pervert(Nielsen) hasn’t ever been disrespectful to Mum. Maybe he’d be the right man to educate Or.

I turned to Orhon who was standing at attention.

“Aah~ Orhon, could I maybe ask you for one more favour?”

“Yes, Milady. Whatever you please.”

“Then could I trouble you to go grab Niel from the training room?”

“I understand. Then I shall go call the General Commander at once,” he said before dashing off again.

I’m counting on you, Orhon, I thought as I nodded in approval.

Pervert(Nielsen) arrived a few minutes later. Also I guess Or had finally recovered because he was standing shakily with his hand to his forehead.

“I have humbly arrived, Tilea-sama,” said Pervert(Nielsen).

“Thanks for coming, Niel. The truth is my Mum is upstairs in the shop right now.”

“Sera-sama…? Then I must make haste and greet her.”

“You’ve really matured, Niel. I’m very pleased with your attitude.”

“You humble me. Sera-sama is the shrine that summoned both Camilla-sama and your august self to this world. How could I not pay her my respects?”

Yepyep, that’s how you’re supposed to act. He was talking like a chuunibyou again, but I’m happy about the attitude behind it.

“Or, do you see how Niel is behaving? This is what you’re lacking right now. Learn from him!”

“Understood. However I cannot understand why General Commander Nielsen is behaving this way. Our guest this time is a mere human――hii!”

I placed my hand above Or’s neck. Then I mimed a chopping motion. Looks like he understood.

“Or, that’s a yelloh cardo. The next time you slip up you’re losing your head.

“M-My deepest apologies. Please, Tilea-sama, please give me another chance,” he begged with tears in his eyes.

Geez, you’re a grown man so don’t you have any shame?

“Hahh, if you’re going to cry about it then how about thinking before you act and not messing up to begin with?”

“M-My deepest apologies. W-, What did I do wrong? …General Commander, where did I err?”

“Ortissio! You lack awareness as a retainer!” he roared.

Mmn, mmn. Make sure to teach him a lesson.

“That’s right, Or. You know, in the past Niel did the same thing.”

“Indeed. It is a shame that will follow me to the grave.”

“Yeah, if I had snapped back then I might really have killed you.”

“The General Commander, executed by Tilea-sama…?” asked Ortissio.

“Yeah, almost. But in the end Niel saw the error of his ways. That’s why I forgave him.”

“I am eternally grateful for your kindness, Tilea-sama,” said Pervert(Nielsen) with a bow.

Pervert(Nielsen) might be a chuunibyou, but being polite is one of his good points.

“Or, I’m not even surprised since it’s a rich boy like you, but you really don’t have any sense. Or, you need to learn from Niel.”

“Understood! I shall meditate deeply on your words. Then, General Commander, might I trouble you to teach this humble fool?”

“Ordinarily a thought-traitor like you would meet with summary execution. However, the one who requested me to reform you was none other than Tilea-sama. I shall forge you into the perfect image of a loyal retainer.”

“As you will.”

With that, Pervert(Nielsen) started to teach him some common sense. I told Or to come up to the shop once he was done with his lesson and headed upstairs myself. I didn’t really want to keep Mum waiting. When I got there I found Mum in the shop looking amazed at the furniture.

“Mum, Or’s going to be here soon.”

“R-Right. Tilea, do you actually know how expensive all these furnishings are…?”

“Ahah! Surprised? I was too, Mum. They look pretty plain at first but to a trained eye they’re all super high class.”

“Tilea! Why are you such a carefree girl! These furnishings alone would be able to pay for four or five normal shops, you know. It’s abnormal that anybody would go this far for you.”

“Geez, it’s not what you’re thinking. Or is just the son of some powerful noble.”

“Goodness, you’re so… Do you think that powerful noble would let his son waste his money out of goodwill?”

“B-But, that’s… Or and I are really tight, and um, my cooking is…”

Mum gave a helpless look at my floundering.

Um, Mum, can you please stop looking like you want to say ‘what am I going to do with this idiot daughter of mine’?

“Huu… I’ve made up my mind, Tilea. I really must talk to this Ortissio-san.”

“It’s, you’re exaggerating, Mum. You’ll get it once you meet him. He’s really not such a big deal.”

“Enough, Tilea. More importantly I’ve seen your account book but you still haven’t shown me the promissory note.”

“Promissory note? We don’t have anything like that.”

“Haaah!? You’re hundreds of millions in debt. How can you not have signed anything! I-, I can’t believe this. What is Ortissio-san thinking?”

“Mmn, but well, a verbal contract is still a contract, right?”

“It is, but…”

Mum looked really troubled. I-, Is it really that big a deal? We’ve got the account book so it’s not like I’ll forget how much I owe.

“It’s fine, Mum. We’ve got the account book so who even needs a promissory note.”

“Hahh~ Tilea, if you don’t have the documents then you can just shirk the debt. The opposite is true as well. How are you going to protect yourself if they claim you promised something you didn’t!”

“You’re such a worrywart, Mum. We’re really relaxed with each other, you know? There’s no way he’d do something so sneaky. Really, just trust me.”

Well, to be honest the relaxed thing is kind of one-way, but if I started talking about evil god armies Mum would probably freak. The point is that he wouldn’t do that. I know what he’s like.

“J-, Just listening to you is giving me a headache…” Mum said, as her feet became a little unsteady.

“Mum, you really don’t have to worry so much.”

“Tilea, you don’t understand just how terrifying nobles can be.”

“No, no, I really do. I mean, they’re nobles, right? Leaving Or aside, nobles are like, really rich and perverted, right? Down with the bourgeoisie!” I said as I mimed a pitchfork. “Am I right?”

“Take this seriously, Tilea!”

“Owowow, Maam, sh-shtop dat!”

Mum kept pulling on my cheeks like taffy.

It’s really not a big deal. It’s Or.

But my carefree attitude was just making Mum more and more suspicious of him.

After finally letting go of my cheeks, Mum’s expression turned strained and she began to talk seriously again.

“Tilea, listen carefully to me. I haven’t always lived in Beruga Town, you know. When I was young I used to live in the Royal Capital, and I was something a bit like an adventurer for a time.”

“Wow~ Really? I had no idea. Is that when you met Dad?”

“Yes. Your Dad and I met while I was still in the Capital. It’s my happiest memory here. But it wasn’t all good things. You see…”

With that, Mum began telling me about her bad memories here. About how horrid the nobles were. About how they would smile gracefully as they trampled on the commoners. And then about all the times her friends and acquaintances had fallen victim to that.

At first I was just listening with interest. But Mum’s stories were horrid, and after just a few minutes my attitude with Or had done a complete turnaround.

This last story was completely skin-crawling. It was about a noble that people said was devil in human skin.

……

…………

……………………

“W-What happened to her?”

“She died. By the end both her body and mind were in tatters. The Fiend had targeted her family from the start. He used sweet words and false kindness to trick her… I’d never regretted my own powerlessness more.”

Mum’s expression was filled with grief. It really drove home just how painful it was for her.

And to be honest that girl’s situation had a lot in common with mine. Or’s over-investment in me. How he would always praise and adore me even though he was a high-ranking noble.

But the truth of it was…

“A-Awawawa! T-Then Or’s been tricking me? H-He’s been going after me, or m-maybe Timu?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I need to meet with him to find out. We might let go of the shop in Beruga depending.”

“T-, That can’t be… B-, Because I was being an idiot, the shop… the shop that you and Dad are so proud of… uu… guh… uuu…”

“Don’t cry, Tilea. Mum is happy as long as you two are safe. I don’t need the shop.”

“Uu, wahh, I-I’m sorry Mum… I-, I should have been… more careful…”

“Everything is going to be okay, Tilea.”

Mum stroked my head as she held me in her arms.

But while I was crying in regret…

“I have arrived, Tilea-sama. I have completed damned Ortissio’s training.”

…Pervert(Nielsen) arrived with a smug smile, and The Fiend(Or) was right behind him.


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「今日のお兄ちゃんはおかしいよ!怖いよ!ッ!?いやだよっ!いやぁ!やめて!やめてぇっ!!」