Reika-sama – 167

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Shichi-Go-San (七五三, lit. “Seven-Five-Three”) is a traditional rite of passage and festival day in Japan for three- and seven-year-old girls and three- and five-year-old boys, held annually on November 15 to celebrate the growth and well-being of young children. Children are dressed up and then brought to a shrine for good fortune.

Hinamatsuri (雛祭り Hina-matsuri), also called Doll’s Day or Girls’ Day, is celebrated each year on March 3 when people pray for the happiness and healthy growth of girls. Families with young daughters mark this day by setting up a display of dolls inside the house. They offer rice crackers and other food to the dolls.
These dolls, often expensively made, are placed on stepped shelves covered with red fabric, and girls invite their friends to admire them.


The next weekend I used the excuse of buying cake to visit Wakaba-chan.

Her mum still remembered me, and greeted me with a smile.

“Oh my, welcome!”

“Good afternoon. Thank you for everything, last time.”

“Not at all! Thank you so much for the wonderful tea and coffee. Are you here to see Wakaba?”

“Yes, but I planned on buying some of your cakes as well. The ones I tried last time were simply delicious.”

“Really? Aunty was a little worried that it wouldn’t suit the tastes of an ojousama from Zui’ran.”

“That was not the case at all. They were fluffy, and sweet without being too sickening. I could eat any number of them.”

I had eaten two in a row when I got home. Then I waited a little while and ate the rest too. They were great…

I wondered what I would bring home this time.

“It makes me really happy to hear that. Wakaba still hasn’t come back from her part-time job yet, but she should be back any moment so come on inside.”

“Eh…? No, I really should not. I think I will head home for today. It was my fault for coming here unannounced. And to begin with my first goal was simply to buy some cakes.”

“Geez, you can worry about the cakes later. Do you have anything else going on today?”

“No, not particularly…”

As the Chief of Forever Alone Village, my weekends were almost completely free.

“Then just stay! You’ve already come all the way here. Don’t be shy now. Wakaba will be back any moment now. Okay?”

“But…”

“It’s fine, it’s fine.”

After asking the other staff member to take over for a bit, she came out from behind the display counter.

Taking my hand, she rather assertively ushered me into the house.

As I headed in, I noticed an awfully expensive-looking flower arrangement in the corner of the shop.

I had a bad feeling about it.

*

*

*

“Kisshouin-san, wasn’t it? Come in, come in. Here, sit down!”

After sitting me down on the couch she even brought out some black tea.

“Sorry. Not only have I arrived unannounced, I am even causing trouble for you like this…”

“It’s fine! A friend of Wakaba’s has come all the way here to play, so this much is natural. Oh, I know! I’ll go message Wakaba and let her know not to go on any detours.”

“I truly am sorry,” I bowed again.

Not everybody had as much free time on their hands as I did, after all. I was definitely in the wrong here for showing up without checking with her first.

But since I was here to eat something and bring some cakes home too, I just thought it would be nice if we could hang out a little.

“Um, it is not much but…”

Karintou is a traditional Japanese snack food. Sweet and deep-fried, it is made primarily of flour, yeast, and brown sugar.

I held out the box of assorted karintou.

“Hmm? What might this be? Oh my, you didn’t need to. Thank you though. Oh! It’s karintou. How cute~”

There were different flavours like plum and chilli, and they were divided into cute little sacks. The presentation was great. It was one of my favourites.

Plus, part of the reason I choose these was because I wasn’t sure if it would be rude gifting Japanese sweets to a family that ran a cake shop.

“If my anklebiters spot these they’ll be gone in an instant. Aunty will make sure to hide them somewhere safe,” she said as she hugged the bag with mock protectiveness.

“Huhu!”

I liked this interaction. It reminded me of my mum from my old life.

“Wakaba’s shift finishes at 2 so she should be here soon.”

“Oh, I see.”

It was almost half past two when I checked.

“How is Wakaba doing at school? Is that girl doing alright at a school like Zui’ran?”

Ugh! She hit where it hurt. No way did she know how hard Wakaba-chan had it at school.

“Yes. Takamichi-san’s grades are exceptional, and recently she even joined the Student Council, you know? She seems to be getting along splendidly with them.”

“I see. I’m glad that she’s managing,” she smiled in relief. It hurt to see.

“I’m back!”

That was when Wakaba-chan came back. I heard her footsteps against the floor as she ran into the room, taking off her scarf.

“You said that Kisshouin-san came over?”

When she saw me sitting on the sofa, she smiled.

“Welcome.”

Her mother and I welcomed her home, and I apologised to her for intruding.

“Since you’re here now, I’ll be heading back to the store,” said her mum, so I thanked her again before she left.

“So what’s up, Kisshouin-san? Did you need something?”

“Well, no… I just wanted to eat some of your cake again because they were so delicious last time. Since I was coming here anyhow, I just thought it might be nice to see you, was all.”

“Oh okay. Sorry for making you wait then.”

“No, it is my fault for suddenly coming here… I had no idea you worked though.”

“Eh? Ahh, yeah. Just for lunchtimes on weekends at a family restaurant. That time when I met you I was coming back from work too.”

“Oh, I see.”

That time when I was biting into the ikayaki huh.

ikayaki flashbacks…

“Aah, I’m pretty hungry. I haven’t had lunch yet so I’m going to get some curry. If you haven’t had lunch yet, do you want some too?”

“No, but thank you.”

“Really?”

Wakaba-chan stood in the kitchen and began heating a pot up. It didn’t take long for the appetising smell of curry to waft over to me.

Uu… my appetite…

From the rice cooker, Wakaba-chan spooned out rice onto a dish, and then on top of that she put her curry.

Hauu, it looked so good.

“Do you want a bite too?”

A bite… Just a bite wouldn’t be too shameless, right?

“Then, perhaps just a bite, since you offered.”

“Okay~”

And so Wakaba-chan placed two people’s worth of meals onto the table.

“Itadakimasu~”

“Itadakimasu.”

Carrot and large bits of potato in a curry sauce bought from the supermarket. Just a normal household’s meal. How I missed this.

I tried a bite. Yummy!

“It is delicious.”

“Yeah~ It’s because I left the vegetables to soak in the curry overnight. Aahh, food after a day of hard work is so good!”

We smiled as we ate.

“Still, working part-time is forbidden at Zui’ran, so it might be best if you did not go broadcasting that.”

“Oh, you’re right. I’ll take care!”

She really had to. It would be dreadful if her enemies found out.

“By the way, thank you so much for the shoes again. You really saved me. I tried washing those stained ones and it really didn’t help after all.”

“Oh I see. Please forget about that. I was never going to wear them again any how.”

I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away, but I didn’t want to wear them either. If anything I felt thankful that she took them off my hands.

“By the way, Takamichi-san, about what happened the other day…”

It was hard to ask, but I still brought up the tracksuit incident on that rainy day.

“Was that something that Tsuruhana-san and her friends had a hand in?”

“Eh? Hmmm…”

Wakaba-chan had a troubled expression on her face.

When she went home that day she was wearing her uniform, which was soaked just like she said, but I was sure that Tsuruhana-san’s group was somehow involved. Despite some subtle investigations though, I never did get the truth.

“Takamichi-san?”

“Umm, at lunch they called me out to the 1st floor emergency exit, said a bunch of things to me, and then shut me outside. Since the door was locked I couldn’t get back in, so I ran around to the front entrance. The rain was pretty bad though, so I guess I got kinda soaked~”

“So that was what happened…”

I had thought it wouldn’t be much worse than having a bucket of water poured on her. How could they have locked her out during the freezing November rain.

“Just so you know, this is just between the two of us, okay?”

“The two of us…? Are you not going to report them? You could talk to Mizusaki-kun about this.”

“Mizusaki-kun huh~ He was pretty persistent in asking what happened too, but I didn’t want to make a huge deal out of it.”

“But…”

“It’s fine. Nothing really happened.”

Um, something did happen though.

“Say, Takamichi-san.”

“Yes?”

“If things ever get too bad for you, I can have a word with Tsuruhana-san, you know?”

Although honestly she had even more influence than in middle school. Unlike back then, there was no guarantee that I’d come out on top. This newcomer was giving me just a bit of trouble.

“Ehh!? It’s totally fine. I wouldn’t want to trouble you. It’s fine, fine.”

“But…”

“Are you worried about me? Thanks,” she beamed.

“If only Kaburagi-sama thought a little more about his actions…”

“Ahaha, Kaburagi-kun is a pretty funny person, isn’t he?”

“Kaburagi-kun?” I asked.

“Ah,” she exclaimed before covering her mouth. “Ummm, Kaburagi-sama said ‘since you use -kun with Mizusaki, do that with me too’ so…”

Kaburagi… You’re such a damned child.

“I’m sorry,” apologised Wakaba-chan, “I wasn’t thinking about how you felt.”

She must have misunderstood my frown.

“Eh? Why are you apologising? I was simply thinking about how much trouble he must be causing you.”

“Huh…? But, don’t you, you know, like him?”

“Hah? ‘Like’? Who are you talking about? Surely you cannot be speaking about Kaburagi-sama and I. Because if you are, you are very mistaken.”

“Really?”

“Yes!” I stressed.

This was important, so I was being extra clear.

“I see. I heard the rumours, so I was sure that…”

“Rumours are nothing to put stock in.”

“I see~” she nodded with newfound enlightenment.

“By the way, I noticed some rather gorgeous flowers in your shopfront. Could those be…”

“Ah! You noticed? Yeah, Kaburagi-kun gave us those. The other day he came here to buy cakes and…”

“Goodness!”

So he really was coming here! Curse that guy for conquering all the cakes before I did.

“So did he come back here, or…?”

“Oh no, he didn’t. But he has been here before a few times while we were working out the bike incident.”

Heh. I won.

Not only was I allowed into the house, I was even treated to curry.

“Umm, would you be all right with me coming to buy your cakes again?”

“Of course! You’re super welcome here!”

“And if possible, keep this a secret from Kaburagi-sama…?”

“Ahaha, then it’ll just be our little secret. Gotcha~”

After that we exchanged emails, and with newly bought cakes in hand, I hummed to myself as I made my way home.

*

*

*

I opened up the message I just received. Umewaka-kun sent me photos of Beatrice in a red kimono for her shichigosan. She even had chitose ame next to her. It was a proper shichigosan.

Chitose ame (千歳飴), literally “thousand year candy”, is given to children on Shichi-Go-San. Chitose ame is long, thin, red and white candy, which symbolizes healthy growth and longevity. It is given in a bag decorated with a crane and a turtle, which represent long life in Japan.

And wow, I never knew dogs wore kimono too. Whoa! Don’t tell me that that Dog Maniac made it himself? No, no, it couldn’t be.

‘Bea-tan is three years old! The kimono fits me, right?’

Yup, yup, it looks great on you.

The next photo was of my Bea-tan doll in a matching kimono.

Apparently Umewaka-kun was a broadminded man who did not distinguish between his real and adopted daughters.

Hmm, but shichigosan huh. At this rate he was definitely going to buy Beatrice a full set of dolls for Hinamatsuri.

May Dog Lover-kun and Beatrice live happily ever after!


<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Arachne – 11

The Disciple and the Goblins


“Yo! Sis, I ain’t moving away from here ‘til you take me as your disciple!”

Ephy, a boy around 15 years old, was sitting in front of my store and spewing some nonsense.

Contrary to his baby face, his body looked quite well-trained, and the various scars hinted towards him being some sort of fighter.

Or rather, he’s exactly the archetypal ‘Adventurer’ that one usually sees in fantasy worlds.

“Hey, listen, okay? You’re being a bother, sitting over there. This is my shop, you know?”

“Yo! I ain’t going anywhere! I’ve fallen in love with your skills! I want you to take me as your disciple!”

“And I’m telling you… You listening?!”

Aww man, this sucks.

Just why did this happen…

Ahhh… Umm.

Welcome back.

It is me, Arakura Shiori (25), an ex-earthling who has reincarnated as a half-human half-spider Arachne monster.

However, over here on this world, I’m called Shiori Arachne, the owner of the Arachne Tailor.

I’d been having a perfectly normal life as a tailor while hiding my true identity until now. Just why did this happen…

Everything started when I visited the adventurer’s guild the other day on business.

The main material I use for my store is, of course, the ‘Arachne Silk’ I created myself, and I acquire the expensive monster materials by myself too, but for the other relatively cheap materials used to make dyes, such as Thorny Madder Grass, Pseudo-Bellflowers, or Bitterdemon Chestnuts, I usually put up gathering requests like I’m doing now.

It’s not like I can use Crimson Dragon scales to dye the clothes that I make for the general public, obviously.

“Come on, why can’t I take that?! It’s just a simple gathering request!”

A young man… or to be more precise, a boy was shouting at the receptionist girl at the guild counter.

He’s got a solid build, with a leather chestplate and a short sword.

“…Usually, you’ll need to go deep inside forests with dense mana in order to find any Rainbow Morning Glories, you know? You’re still E rank. It’s too dangerous.”

“They’re just goblins, I won’t even break a sweat!”

“It’s true that sightings of goblins are still the most reported, but orcs have also been found there. That’s why the recommended request difficulty is D for a party and C for a solo adventurer. You mostly work alone anyway, right? If you really need the request, then please find some high rank adventurers to take you along.”

“Sure I know some D rank parties, like the ‘Iron Hammers’ and the ‘Treasure Hunters’… but the problem is they haven’t been showing up these days.”

My. Those are some familiar names.

Both the Iron Hammers and the Treasure Hunters were parties who had accepted my gathering requests, if I remember correctly.

“Those guys were going to spend the whole week over there gathering! They said they got their hand on a pretty tasty request, so they fucking went over to Cherry’s place for a party first before leaving! Bastards!”

The rest area inside the guild serves snacks and drinks with low alcoholic content.

And there, with his thundering voice, a bearded middle-aged man was telling the boy what he knew while sipping a mug of ale.

…The guy looked intimidating, but he’s surprisingly kind.

“For real?… Hey, miss Emmy, can you introduce someone? I’m cutting it seriously close with my rent this month.”

“That’s quite difficult… The only person not busy is Baren, and just as you can see, he’s about to fall down dead drunk.”

Emmy the receptionist glanced over at the aforementioned bearded man.

“…Is there really nobody high rank who’s free and willing to help me? Seriously?…”

“It’d be nice if there were… Somebody kind enough to bring along a useless kid on a gathering request…”

Miss Emmy, why did you just look at me when you said that?

I’ll have you know, I’m here as a customer today.

It’s true that I registered as an adventurer so that I can go gather in the dangerous zones that were closed off to the public… but my real job is being a tailor.

I only came here to ask about the progress on my gathering requests today, you know?

Heeeey, you listening, Emmyyyyy?

“Man, thanks a bunch. Of course I’ll protect you, girlie, no problem! You must be barely D rank anyway… and a rear-line adventurer too, right? Just tag along. Don’t worry, I heard that there’s only g-goblins near the Forest of Glamour where we’re going anyway.”

In the end, due to Emmy’s request, I took the boy – his name is Ephy – on the gathering request.

His destination, the Forest of Glamour, was the place where I once got lost in after going too deep.

Different from back then, this time, I have the skill [Minimap], [Hide Presence], and [Hide Magic] among others, so I no longer worry about getting lost, and animals and monsters don’t get scared of me anymore.

Mwahaha, I shall not make that mistake again!

I wonder how Zell is doing these days.

Whoops, can’t get distracted, I need to focus on Ephy right now.

He’s too much of a risk to not keep my eyes on him.

Apparently, Emmy told him that “If we’re just talking combat power, she’s at least a hundred times more powerful than you” when introducing me to him, and he couldn’t believe it to be anything other than a joke, so he kept trying to defend me and raising his sword at every single thing we encounter in the woods. However…

“Ephy, that’s a squirrel.”

“Y-Yeah, I know. Just in case. Wait, over here!”

“That’s a forest lizard. There’s nothing special about it. Tasty when roasted.”

“W-What the hell, just a lizard?… Damn thing surprised me.”

Ephy let out a held breath, wiped the sweat on his forehead, and relaxed his sword hand.

Hmm? You’re not catching it? What a pity, it’s really delicious… Then don’t mind if I do.

After checking my surroundings, I found a tree branch lying on the ground that’s big enough for my purpose.

Alright, this should be good enough as a handicap.

I lightly tapped the lizard, which was around 30 cm long, on its head.

*Bam!*

Ah, too much strength. The branch exploded, and the lizard’s upper half turned into minced meat.

The lizard wouldn’t even make a meal with just its lower half left. At best, only a snack.

I carefully used a small tree branch to scrape out the lizard’s innards, undid my Arachne Silk scarf, used it to wrap the lizard, then put the whole thing inside my pack.

It’s waterproof too, so I don’t have to worry about blood leaking out in the pack.

Normally, though, I wouldn’t bother with all this and just use my threads to package the prey directly.

“Uhh… Wha? What was that just now…?”

“Don’t worry about it, you’re just seeing things”

“Seeing things? But the lizard just disappeared…”

“I’m telling you, you’re seeing things. More importantly, our destination is deeper, right?”

“Ah, yeah. Probably another 30 minutes if we follow the animal trail…”

“Right then, let’s get the request over with quickly.”

After changing the topic, even if the attempt was a bit too abrupt, I pulled Ephy’s hand and headed deeper into the forest.

“We’re hereeeee! Look, look, jackpot! The whole field is full of Rainbow Morning Glories!”

Just as Ephy estimated, we arrived at a small, sunny flower bed after around 30 minutes.

The ground was filled with colorful flowers, looking similar to the morning glories I knew, all blooming in full.

But it’s already a little bit after noon now, yet they’re still blooming. Why are they called Morning Glories, then?

“Awesome! Rainbow Morning Glories are high rank materials, yet here we have a whole field full of it! Come on, miss, go grab some too!”

Ephy dropped his sword and started picking every stalk of flower that he can see.

Hey, is it fine leaving your sword there? You’re an adventurer, you know?

“No, I’ll stand watch. We’re still inside the forest anyway.”

“I~diot. Rainbow Morning Glories are used in making monster repellants, you know? Goblins and the likes wouldn’t even dare come close.”

Hmmm, is that so?

Yet I’m detecting presences of monsters somewhere quite close by. Hmmm.

Wait, perhaps…

I positioned myself in Ephy’s blind spot, quietly created a strand of thread from my finger, and used it to touch the flowers covering the whole ground.

And then, thanks to the effect of the skill Tactile ThreadSensor Web, details about the flower appeared in my mind.

——

Six-Shades Morning Glories

  ・A species related to the Rainbow Morning Glory.

   Unlike Rainbow Morning Glories, Six-Shades Morning Glories can’t repel monsters. Instead, their seeds are very tough, and cannot be dissolved by even a goblin’s stomach acid.

   The species mostly serves as food for herbivores or the omnivorous goblins. It makes use of the animals’ feces in order to spread its seeds to faraway lands.

   ・Is a main material in concocting energy-boosting medicines and aphrodisiacs. It has been theorized that the goblins’ unnatural reproductive power stemmed from the fact that this species of monster have a tendency to consume Six-Shades Morning Glories for fun.

——

Oh my.

The description I received wasn’t fit for showing children under eighteen.

I knew they were different from Rainbow Morning Glories.

It’s still a related species, so I guess we almost got it right.

…Which means that monsters aren’t being repelled.

In fact, goblins love eating these flowers, so…

“Whoa!!!”

Oh my. Just as I thought.

“G-G-G-G-G-Goblins?! Why? There’re Rainbow Morning Glories here!”

Ephy pointed his finger at the silhouettes of several goblins while stuttering like there’s no tomorrow.

I see, so the presences that have been shadowing us since a while ago were them.

They must have come out when they saw us messing with their favorite snacks. I totally understand.

“Ephy, I think these flowers aren’t actually what we’re looking for, but a related species. They probably can’t repel monsters, so don’t get your hopes up.”

“For real?! S-Shit! They’re just fucking goblins, I can handle them!”

Panicking, Ephy picked up the sword he dropped and made his stand against the goblins.

“Giii! Giiiiiiii! Gyahgahgah!”

“D-Don’t be afraid! I-I can at least p-protect you!”

Oooh, good boy, good boy. Big sister here really likes your style.

So I’ll help a bit.

“[Light Blessing], aaaaand [Incandescent Enchant]”

Light Blessing was the skill I gained when I used [Predation] on the God Bird Lemire. It creates a defensive shield of light around the target. The skill can protect against 5 or 6 hits from an ogre.

Next, Incandescent Enchant was gained after I defeated a fire-type demon. Simply put, it temporarily turns a normal sword into a magical flame sword. Well, the skill works with axes and claws too, not just swords.

“W-What the hell?!”

Ephy was struck dumbfounded when he noticed his body starting to give off faint light, and his short sword overflowing with flame.

Hey, hey, you’re in combat, you know? You’re being way too careless in front of the enemy.

Ah well. Luckily, the goblins were also surprised and stopped moving when they saw the sword suddenly burning.

“It’s an enchantment spell. Both your attack and defense should have gone up by quite a bit, so do your best!”

It’s actually a skill, not a spell, but that’s not important.

I explained it that way since normally, humans can’t use monster skills.

“Y-Yeaaah! You’re awesome! I didn’t know you can do spells like these! Just leave the rest to me!”

Ephy charged into the goblin group while talking all the while.

A swing of his sword cut through both the goblins and their rusty swords like butter.

“…Hooooly shit… How the hell is it cutting so well…”

Hey hey, I told you, stop standing still every time you get surprised.

“Ephy, there are still enemies left! Don’t freeze up!”

“Y-Yeah! I’m invincible with this sword now!”

And he really did pretty much turn invincible.

Not surprising when the enemies couldn’t damage Ephy, while his faux-fire sword just sliced through the goblins’ defense like cutting air.

Like eggs beating rocks.

Just after 5 minutes, all the goblins turned into corpses.

…Ah, I stand corrected.

All the normal goblins turned into corpses.

As to why I made that correction…

That was because a strange-looking goblin, which must have been at least 2.5 meters tall, appeared from behind the dead goblins.

“I-It’s… Ugh!”

Ephy froze up from the sight of the dominating goblin, and he got punted away a few meters by its mace.

“Gakhh… Gahh…”

“Ephy, are you okay?”

“R-Run… Agkh… Run away, girlie, this guy… This huge guy… I’ve only heard rumors, but he must be the Goblin Lord!”

Aaaah, I see, the Goblin Lord.

In the spider’s forest that was my hometown, goblin-type monsters didn’t exist. Furthermore, last time I was here, I was leaking my presence all over the place, so it didn’t dare approach me.

How unexpected that I would have the chance to first see it here.

But you know, goblin-type monsters can’t give me any good materials, and they’re also just muscle-brained idiots without any good skills, so there’s not really any good reason to hunt them.

So I don’t really mind releasing my presence. I’ll let them go if they run away—

Hmpf, a little girl? Boobless kids aren’t suitable to bear my children… However, you’re still young, you should last for a long time. I’ll take you back as a gift for the tribe.

What. Did. You. Say?

Ugrh?! What is this terrifying bloodlust?!

“You damn muscle-brained idiot!!! You dare tell me I have no breasts?!”

I-It was coming from this boobless little girl?! This much magical pressure, could it be the Demon Ki—

“Waaaaa you said it agaaaaaaain!!!”

I shot out some sticky and fast-drying threads at high speed from my fingertip, creating a long, thin shape in the air.

And in a blink of an eye, that shape became a pure white sword, which I grabbed with my right hand.

To put it simply, I used 3D printing methods with my threads to create a sword.

W-Wait! I apologize! You can still have kids even if you don’t have boobs!!

*snaps*

“Your sins are… One, telling me that I have no breasts.

Two, telling me that I have no breasts a second time.

Three, telling me that I have no breasts a third tiiiiiiimmeeeeeee!!!”

And then, the scourge of the land that was the Goblin Lord was sliced into dust, and ended up as fertilizer for the forest.

“Yo! Sis, I ain’t moving away from here ‘til you take me as your disciple!”

“Hey, listen, okay? You’re being a bother, sitting over there. This is my shop, you know?”

“Yo! I ain’t going anywhere! I’ve fallen in love with your skills! I want you to take me as your disciple!”

“And I’m telling you… You listening?!”

…And so, we’re back to the beginning of this chapter.

While it’s true that I had no other choice, it was still my fault to have displayed a part of my power in front of Ephy (luckily, he seemed to have been convinced that the sword made out of thread was created by summoning magic, or that it was stored in a magic bag)… But to be honest, he’s just a pain in my business right now, prostrating in front of my shop like this.

Well then, however shall I deal with this?

“Mmm… Let’s see, I guess I can take you in.”

“For real?!”

“You can’t live here though, you’ll come here three times a week. And the pay’s not that good too. Is that still fine?”

“? Obviously! Rather, I’m learning from you here, I can’t accept payment from you!”

“So please stop prostrating in front of my shop for now. Next, you’ll need to change to these clothes…”

“Got it, sis… no, Master!”

“Right, then you’ll start from 9 in the morning next week. Wear that, and also clean up and groom yourself.”

“Got it! This is my first step on the path to becoming a master!!”

Excited, Ephy happily skipped away.

…And that was how I managed to acquire a shop employee (who would work for just a pittance) that I’d wanted since a long time ago.

What? Disciple? Of course I accepted him as a disciple… He’s going to learn how to run a tailor.

I’ll be teaching him how to sell clothes, how to sell cushions, the concept of customer service, and the like.

I never said I’ll teach him the way of the sword or magic in the first place.


Author’s note:

Well then, umm, I did not mean to offend any particular woman with this chapter.

In her last life, Shiori had quite an acceptable pair, so she held a bit of a complex with the body she’s been granted in this life.

Personally, I belong to the faction that worships all breasts as equally sacred, no matter whether they’re big or small.

——

Web Sword

Attack Power +42

Magical Attack Power +5

Self-Repair (Slight)

Fire Resistance -10%

Sword Attack Speed +10%

A sword Shiori slapped together to use against the Goblin Lord. It’s weak to fire since it’s made out of thread.

Its attack is equal to a normal longsword, but since it’s made out of Shiori’s threads, any damage to the blade not more serious than chips or nicks can be automatically repaired.

Furthermore, the sword can attack faster because of its abnormally light weight, but its blows are also weaker due to the same reason. The sword must compensate with its sharpness.

The weapon should be wielded more like a giant razor, rather than like a normal sword.

Because it was made from finger threads, it’s not very durable. The sword would most likely break down within a month.

Previous Chapter | That’s it, folks, no more chapter. Author stopped writing.

Reika-sama – 166

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!


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Thanks to that thoughtless, one-track-minded, idiot Kaburagi, Tsuruhana-san’s group was completely gearing up for war.

I was having lunch with my friends in the cafeteria when it happened. Quite a while into lunch break, Wakaba-chan entered the cafeteria in a tracksuit. And looking closely, wasn’t her hair drenched?

Wakaba-chan made her way over to the closest table and began quickly eating her simmered food bentou.

“Whaat on earth is that girl doing?” muttered one girl.

“Beats me. Who can tell with a weirdo like her,” snarked another.

Amidst all our white uniforms, Wakaba-chan’s tracksuit stood out all the more. You could hear whispers here and there.

I scanned the room and realised that Tsuruhana-san’s group seemed to be having a lot of fun ridiculing her. Don’t tell me they did something?

Apparently the people at the Pivoine table had noticed her too because Kaburagi was making his way over.

“Takamichi, what’s with the outfit?”

A shock ran through the cafeteria.

In front of this entire crowd, the Emperor was going out of his way to talk to a girl. A girl who was none other than Wakaba-chan, who was the centre of all manner of rumours these days.

All eyes were on them.

Wakaba-chan quickly chewed and swallowed before answering.

“My uniform kind of got drenched so I changed into something else.”

“Drenched? How come?” he frowned.

“I went outside for a bit.”

“Outside? In this rain? Without an umbrella?”

I couldn’t help but look outside. It had been pouring since morning and was showing no signs of letting up.

“Aah, well…”

“What the heck are you even doing.”

“Sorry.”

Wakaba-chan bowed.

“Well? Why were you running outside in all this rain then?”

Tsuruhana-san’s group was looking a little worried now.

“Aahh, I had something to do…”

“I’m asking what that was.”

Wakaba-chan floundered, her eyes swimming here and there. It didn’t seem like she was going to tell him the truth.

That was when Fellow Stalking Horse came over in worry for her.

“Are you alright, Takamichi?”

“Mizusaki-kun.”

Kaburagi seemed a little sullen at the new arrival.

“What do you want, Mizusaki? Takamichi and I were talking.”

“You can’t guess? The entire room is watching you two. Pay some more attention to your position, and your surroundings while you’re at it. How can you not tell that Takamichi is being troubled by you”

“Haah?”

Kaburagi glared at Stalking Horse who gave him a strong gaze back. While sparks seemed to fly between the two boys, Wakaba-chan was flustered, and quite obviously fretting about running out of time for her lunch.

Not content to just watch, Enjou intervened and somehow defused the situation. Pitifully, that was when the bell began to ring.

In a last act of desperation, Wakaba-chan tried to shovel as much of her lunch into her mouth as possible before slowly closing the lid.

*

*

Enjou led Kaburagi out of the cafeteria. Fellow Stalking Horse was about to leave with Wakaba-chan when the President of the Pivoine approached from behind with her followers.

“Takamichi-san, although that tracksuit suits you better than the Zui’ran uniform, I hope you are not thinking of doing something as absurd as returning home in that. I would much appreciate that you by all means refrain from such a thing.”

After shooting Wakaba-chan a cold look, she turned away and walked off.

Some of the girls began to laugh at her.

“Serves her right.”

“She’s such an eyesore.”

“Grill her more.”

That was when I realised some of the voices were male.

When I turned around, I found a group of boys to be the source, the boy who liked Aoi-chan among them. He was standing there with a disgusting smile as he joined in on bad-mouthing Wakaba-chan.

This boy really wasn’t fit for Aoi-chan.

*

*

After school I went to the salon to fetch what I needed before heading right back to the 2nd Year classrooms.

The boy that had been bothering Aoi-chan was in the same class as Fellow Stalking Horse.

Fellow Stalking Horse noticed when I called him out into the hallway, and moved to casually listen in.

Gosh, Mizusaki-kun. You don’t have to worry. My fan is sitting safely at home.

“Um, can I help you?” he asked uncertainly.

The boy was very obviously confused at the sudden summon.

Hmph. Quite a different attitude to when he was badmouthing Wakaba-chan. From what I had heard, he had a university faculty that he wanted to join but didn’t have the grades for. So instead he had done all sorts of things to make life hard for her because he was jealous.

“Yes. The truth is I have called you here in regards to my friend.”

“Your friend, Kisshouin-san?”

“Yes, my friend. Her name is Yorino Aoi.”

“Eh-, Yorino…!?”

The colour left his face in an instant. Wow. Who knew that humans could change colours this quickly.

“…Um, so what does that have to do with…?”

“You still fail to understand?”

“Eh…?”

I flourished the peony branch before him like a conductor’s baton. His expression stiffened as he backtracked a step.

“My dear friend is being troubled by somebody. This makes me incredibly sad. So sad, in fact, that I have no idea what I might do…”

I stabbed the branch at his throat.

“You will stop, no?”

“…!? I will-!”

He was standing at attention now. I nodded with a smile.

“Also, it is very unbecoming of a man of Zui’ran to be jealous of a girl for her good grades, you know?”

I brandished the peony branch again, and then watched as he scrambled back into his classroom.

Mission complete, I suppose.

Now I just had to message Aoi-chan.

“What was that about?” asked Stalking Horse as he appeared from the shadows.

“He has a crush on a friend of mine but was a little too persistent, so she came to me for help.”

“I see… But Kisshouin, you realise that using that branch is even worse than the fan, right?” he sighed as he pointed at my branch.

Resting his chin in his other hand, he continued.

“Anyhow, do something about that weapon in your hand. I’m pretty sure a peony in the hands of a Pivoine member is as good as a lethal weapon.”

Even if you tell me that~

At that moment, by unlucky coincidence the Soccer Club President was just heading past us to get to his club. When he saw me he shrieked, so I handed him the branch as encouragement.

His hands were ice cold though. I wonder if he was coming down with something.

“Are you trying to finish him off or something!? He’s the ace of our Soccer Club!”

Goodness, no. How could you blame me when I only ever have the best intentions in mind?

*

*

When I arrived at the carpark I witnessed Kaburagi forcing Wakaba-chan into his car again. This was actually an abduction now.

What on earth are you doing, Kaburagi.


Public Service Announcement

Australia does not acknowledge the sovereignty of “New Zealand”.

There is only one Australia, and “New Zealand” is a renegade state within it.

Let it be known to all runaway provincials that if reunification takes too long, military action is not beyond the pale.

– Darren “Dazza” Jones, Prime Minister of Australia


<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Reika-sama – 165

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!


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In the raws, Aoi-chan actually mysteriously transforms into Wakaba-chan for a few lines. The author probably got confused because both names are vaguely vegetable related.


Aoi-chan messaged me today.

When I first emailed her a few days ago she replied that she didn’t know what Naru-kun’s name was, but would look into it.

According to the message just now, the result of her investigation was that there was indeed somebody like that in 3rd Year.

Thank you for going out of your way to find out for me, Aoi-chan!

A third year student. Thanks to my efforts in leering I had managed to see his name and school, but I didn’t manage his class or grade. Now I had moved forward a step, uhuhu.

In that same email though, was the line,

‘Actually, the truth is I have something I’d like your advice on, Reika-chan.’

Advice? Mine? For Aoi-chan?

Given how much more reliable Aoi-chan was compared to me it wasn’t often that she asked me for help. As her friend I had to give my best this time!

Since we were going to be talking anyway, I thought it might be a good idea to just meet up. The two of us immediately checked our schedules and promised to meet up on a day when we had nothing after school.

*

*

When my car arrived at the café I got off and began walking the short distance to the entrance.

The further we got into winter, the colder the air got. It wasn’t too bad for me since I was driven everywhere, but for people like Wakaba-chan who commuted by train it must have been terrible.

In my past life I went to school with two pairs of stockings and hand warmers stuck to my back. Wearing a second pair of stockings made the stitching stand out in a strange wood pattern, but wearing a skirt was just so cold in the middle of winter so I had no choice but to bear it.

Winters sure were rough back then… I wonder what Wakaba-chan was going to do once the snow began to fall this year. It wasn’t like she could wear gum boots after all…

Before long I made it to the café. Looking inside, I realised that Aoi-chan was already here.

“Aoi-chan, sorry I’m late!”

“Reika-chan!”

She looked up from her phone and greeted me with a smile. Aahh, I was being healed already…

I ordered an apple cinnamon tea for myself.

“So what’s wrong, Aoi-chan? You wanted my help with something?”

“Well, you see, there’s actually this 2nd year boy who goes to Zui’ran…” she explained before giving me his name.

“Reika-chan, do you know him?”

“Sorry, but I’m not that familiar with boys’ names. Maybe if we were in the same class, but…”

Hmmm… It didn’t sound familiar at all. I guess we’d never been in the same class before.

“What about him though?”

“Well, the truth is… He’s just been a little persistent…”

“Eh?”

According to Aoi-chan, this Zui’ran boy was attending the same cram school as her. Since the summer cram course they had together, he had continually asked her out. Even after she refused him, he stubbornly kept trying to get close to her…

“Something like that really happened…?”

“Mhm. I told him that he was bothering me but then he even ambushed me on my way home…”

“Ambushed!? How scary.”

“Yeah…”

But I suppose you could say that he was just driven by his feelings of love… I couldn’t criticise him too much since I had asked Aoi-chan to look up Naru-kun’s personal information for me. You could even say that he was more respectable than I was since he wasn’t sneaking about.

“So you aren’t interested in dating this boy at all?”

“Well, I can’t say that I am. To begin with, I’m already seeing someone.”

“Eh!?!”

Aoi-chan just casually mentioned something huge!

“Aoi-chan, you had a boyfriend!?”

“Mhm.”

“Ehh!?”

My ears hadn’t failed me! She had a boyfriend! I haven’t heard about this at all, Aoi-chan!

“Since when!?”

“Eh? Since a bit before the summer break, I guess.”

“Ehh!?”

But we met up during the summer break! How come she wouldn’t tell me something so important!? I’m in shock, Aoi-chan! Shock!

“I had no idea…”

“Aah~ Well, I didn’t think it was something to go out of my way to bring up I guess? And you’ve never really seemed one for romance, Reika-chan.”

But I am! Actually, my half of my mind is filled up with nothing but topics of romance! It’s so bad that I became a mini-stalker just because I spotted some guy in the library! Not that I won’t still be village chief by this Christmas!

“Well!? What’s your boyfriend like?”

“Hm, he’s in the Tennis Club with me. When we entered 2nd Year we started walking home together. In the end he confessed to me, and we ended up dating.”

“I see.”

Dates in uniform, like I used to dream about in my old life. Not only was she studying hard at a national high school, and having fun playing sports in her Tennis Club, Aoi-chan even had a boyfriend. She really seemed to be living a fulfilling high school life, didn’t she.

With the exception of Minami-kun, every member of the Handicrafts Club was female. The only boys I was close with were part of a maidens society. Far from having a boyfriend, I hadn’t even been confessed to, so instead of a spring, each day was like frosty winter.

“Reika-chan, for some reason your face has kind of turned into a noh mask…”

“You’re imagining things, Aoi-chan.”

Right. I had to be happy for my friends. Be more large-hearted, Reika!

“So anyhow, basically that boy is bothering you, right?”

“Yeah. Even after I told him that I had a boyfriend he wouldn’t give up…”

“Hmmm.”

Then why couldn’t she just get her boyfriend to protect her. No, no, stop sulking, Reika! Aoi-chan is an important friend!

“Got it. I’ll do something about him.”

“Eh-, really!? But are you going to be okay, Reika-chan?”

Aoi-chan might not have known the kind of position I held in Zui’ran, but I was obviously going to be fine.

Still, it wouldn’t be very prudent if I didn’t investigate him first. I didn’t want to hurt this boy’s pure heart.

*

*

Or so I had been thinking, but the guy making passes at Aoi-chan had turned out to be one of the boys leading the attacks on Wakaba-chan.

It wasn’t only girls bullying her. Some of the boys were harassing her because they were jealous of her scores.

The verdict was pretty much out, right?

I was considering meeting the problem boy after school when it suddenly got noisy outside the window.

“Reika-sama, Kaburagi-sama arrived at school with Takamichi-san!” one of my group members rushed into the classroom to report.

“Oh my. Again? As I recall, last time they met by chance outside. Is there really any need to cause such a fuss?”

“It’s different this time! Takamichi-san was riding in his car!”

“Ehh!?”

Even I was shocked. Why was she coming to school in his car!?

“What do you think this means!?”

“I am not sure…”

Even Kaburagi wouldn’t have gone to her house to pick her up, right? Then again, this was Kaburagi we were talking about…

Everybody was watching the hallway as Kaburagi came in chatting happily with a troubled-looking Wakaba-chan.

If gazes were lasers then Wakaba-chan would be completely burnt right now.

“Masaya.”

Enjou had arrived at school first and was coming out now.

“Oh! Morning, Shuusuke! You’re already here, huh.”

“Morning, Masaya. Good morning to you too, Takamichi-san.”

“Good morning.”

“So why might you two be together today?”

Enjou had asked the question that everyone here wanted to know.

“Ah, well I saw Takamichi walking outside by chance, and since it was raining pretty hard I had her get onboard.”

“Oh, I see.”

Judging from Wakaba-chan’s uncomfortable laughter, I was pretty sure he had forced her in.

Tsuruhana-san’s group was standing in the hallway with the eyes of hitmen──

Kaburagi, you one-track-minded idiot!!

*

*

The squad of hitmen made their move at lunchtime.


<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Reika-sama – 164

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If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!


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Kaishi (懐紙, lit. pocket paper) is white paper used for miscellaneous purposes. It is usually in the form of a pad of paper folded in half. The name indicates that it is paper kept handy in the bosom overlap of the kimono.


According to the email from Aira-sama, Kaburagi had shown interest in a certain girl. It was without a doubt Wakaba-chan.

Since I wasn’t quite sure how to respond, I put it on the backburner for now. Instead, I decided to message Aoi-chan about Naru-kun’s name first.

Next to me, Naru-kun was still engrossed in his studies, oblivious to what I was doing. I never got the chance to see the real Naru-kun do so, but there must have been times when he looked like this too.

Aoi-chan hadn’t replied yet so I began seriously looking through my own book. Sitting juust a little closer to Naru-kun.

*

*

I replied to Aira-sama’s message when I got home. I decided to avoid going out of my way to spread more rumours about Wakaba-chan, so instead I just replied,

‘Oh? Truly? Who might the girl be?’

Not long afterwards she called me.

“Long time no see, Reika-chan. Have you been well?”

“It has been a while, Aira-sama!”

It had been a long time since we had spoken like this, what with how busy she was with university. It was really nice to talk to her again.

Both Yurie-sama and Aira-sama had something on this year so they hadn’t come to the School Festival. I spent a while chatting with her about what attractions we had this year, and what I did with the Handicrafts Club.

“Anyway, about that girl I mentioned in my email.”

“Yes?”

Apparently Yurie-sama was the first to realise. It was because Kaburagi had been acting strangely since the summer break.

“The other day Masaya went to Yurie’s house to visit. The thing is, the gift he brought were some really plain looking desserts that he’d never touch. As it turns out, it was made by the family of a girl from Zui’ran.

“He even boasted that he had tried all the cakes from their shop, and that this was the best one. The problem was that it didn’t seem like he was just fond of the cakes.

‘She’s a pretty interesting one.’

‘She’s a weirdo.’

She tried to put this strange sticker on her bike.’

“Yurie said that all he could talk about was this girl.”

Kaburagi went to Wakaba-chan’s house!? His stalking tendencies were still healthy and well, it seemed.

And more importantly, he had already conquered all of the cakes in her family store!? That sneak! How dare he get a march on me! I wanted to eat them too! There was that éclair I still wanted to try!

“When I think about it, it might have been this budding new love that helped him get over Yurie. She was really glad to see how happy he was.”

“I see.”

“Although to be honest I was secretly hoping for you two to get together, Reika-chan.”

“What on earth are you saying, Aira-sama.”

I really wish she wouldn’t say such ominous things. Getting involved with Kaburagi was as good as plunging into a Bad End.

“Do you have anyone you like, Reika-chan?”

“Eh!?”

Somebody I like? Ummmm. I suppose right now I was most interested in Naru-kun from the library but…

“Not in particular.”

“Oh my~ Why isn’t that lonely.”

“Do you, Aira-sama?”

“Hmmmmm~”

Ngn, I really wanted to know. What would I do if my respected Aira-sama ended up falling for some weirdo?

After that I listened to Aira-sama talk about the Zui’ran girls in uni, and what they planned to do after graduating. Aira-sama was planning on looking for a job, but quite a few people were planning on just getting married or staying at home to learn how to be a bride.

And apparently basically nobody was planning on becoming a civil servant…

*

*

*

Thanks to Kaburagi, Wakaba-chan’s bullying was worse than ever.

These days it was often to see Fellow Stalking Horse escorting Wakaba-chan like a bodyguard. This just worsened the opinion of Wakaba-chan amongst the girls.

Speaking of Wakaba-chan, in Zui’ran high school section, once a week it was necessary to attend one special elective class from flower arrangement, tea ceremony, calligraphy, kendo, or kyudo.

The main reason this system was in place was for the sake of the External Students joining our high school section from normal households.

Most girls picked flower arrangement or tea ceremony. I for one had been doing the latter since 1st Year. The reason I didn’t pick flower arrangement was because the school of flower arrangement that I attended followed a different style to Zui’ran’s. Don’t let anybody tell you it was because I had no confidence in my sense of flower arrangement aesthetics. Because that’s not true, okay?

It was an artistic decision on my part that I would only ever use warabi-grip shears. That’s why I couldn’t participate in Zui’ran’s flower arrangement classes. I wasn’t running away. Don’t doubt me, okay?

I’m the sort of girl who can do anything she puts her mind to.

Wakaba-chan was probably trying to experience everything Zui’ran had to offer. Unlike last year when she did flower arrangement, this year she changed to tea ceremony.

The problem was that she really should have done it the other way around… Unlike flower arrangement, the content for tea ceremony changed a little bit each year.

Last year we were practising the basis like how to use the fukusa cloth, up to making usucha with the Bonryaku Temae procedure. That would have been easier. The Bonryaku Temae didn’t use many tools so it was harder to fail.

But this year we were moving onto the Furo Temae. Just the fact that it had more steps to remember made it more difficult. It wasn’t something you could succeed in after skipping the basics. Even if you could memorise all the steps from a book, actually performing it right was a different story.

Honestly, tea ceremony was just a pain. There were so many things to remember. Even the number of steps you walked mattered. Basically it wasn’t something you could learn overnight.

Based on that point alone, it would have been easier to start flower arrangement in the second year instead. As long as you remembered the basics, the rest was up to your sense of aesthetics.

Plus, you were allowed to bring home the flowers you used. It was a pretty good deal.

Zui’ran being Zui’ran, the flowers available for use were both plentiful and gorgeous. Worlds apart from the gloomy arrangements you might find for funeral altars.

Anyhow, the point was that today was Wakaba-chan’s turn as the host of the tea ceremony. I prayed that she wouldn’t mess up.

But contrary to my wishes…

“…!?”

The ladle that she left on the kettle fell onto the ground!

I could already hear snickers.

Red-faced, Wakaba-chan bowed and apologised as the sensei made her clean it.

Aaah! I know how you feel, Wakaba-chan! God, do I know how you feel!

One time during a tea ceremony, the confection I had in my kaishi paper fell out and rolled right across the room! It was amazing just how far it rolled, honestly. I think it was because of the shape. By the time I had reached out with my hand it was too late. If I didn’t know better I would have thought it’d never stop.

That was a horrible day. At the time I had wished that I could just become an amnesiac and never have to remember it. I was even seriously considering pretending to pass out from anaemia to save myself the shame.

Uugh…! My stomach hurt just remembering it!

Since then my heart would begin to thump whenever the confections for the day were round.

To begin with, why was it necessary to balance them on kaishi just to eat them. Bring me a plate, damnit!

“Well, with her upbringing…”

“So disgraceful…”

The girls in the room weren’t letting go of the opportunity to badmouth her either. Aah, what was I supposed to do…

“Ah, umm, might this confection be a sasanqua?” I tried to change the subject.

Thankfully the teacher was all about it.

“Goodness, Kisshouin-san. Well done. You are quite right. Although it is easy to mistake it for the camellia japonica, the confection today was indeed modelled off the camellia sasanqua.”

Everyone was focused on the confection! Now, Wakaba-chan! Now’s your chance to move onto the next step!

Oh no! She was nodded along with interest too! Now’s not the time for that, Wakaba-chan!

In the end, although she messed up a number of times and the teacher had to correct her, Wakaba-chan eventually managed to finish her temae procedure.

I was worried that she would be upset after being laughed at so many times, so I checked up on her. Instead, I found her having fun sneakily packing away the leftover confections that sensei gave her for trying hard.

Mn. That was Wakaba-chan for you…

*

*

*

It was my first session in a while with Mihara-san at the Imperial Palace. I had my hair in a ponytail and was ready to go!

I think I was doing quite a lot better than when I first started during the summer, even if I did say so myself. My stamina was better too.

Huu huu, haa haa.

I was still running when the flying lady of a white Rolls Royce stopped beside me.

While I was wondering what was happening, Mihara-san had already stepped in front of me protectively. Thinking about it, he was actually hired as my bodyguard, wasn’t he.

Don’t tell me I was about to have an encounter with the underworld? I hoped it was just somebody who wanted to cheer me on.

While I was thinking, the rear window wound down and out popped Kaburagi’s face.

“So it really was you.”

“Kaburagi-sama!”

So the owner of this ostentatious car was Emperor Kaburagi.

Don’t tell me this was the car he used to run down Wakaba-chan? If it was then I was impressed she got off with just some bruises.

Still, if she was run down by this imposing beast of a car then it was little wonder that her family turned down the compensation money. This did not look like the car of somebody in a respectable occupation…

“What are you doing here?”

“What, you ask? Why, I was jogging, as you can see.”

If you understand then don’t make me talk so much, dimwit. Isn’t it obvious what I was doing?

I was still out of breath from it, actually.

“Jogging? All I saw was somebody running on the spot. People were walking faster than you were. It was weird so I stopped to see what was going on when it turned out to be you.”

What the heeell!?

What do you mean ‘running on the spot’!? I was making progress, damnit! Damn you! Damn you! Damn you!

You don’t have a shred of courtesy or consideration or delicacy at all!

“Even though you’ve got that Jamaican hairdo going on, you kind of put their runners to shame, huh. Ah well, do your best I guess. Cya.”

After running his mouth off, he got back into his mobile Parthenon and drove off as I trembled in anger.

“…Ojousama, there’s nothing wrong with going at your own pace, okay?”

Get dumped, Kaburagi. Get dumped by Wakaba-chan, damn you! You should just get dumped and go on a journey again!

I began cursing at the long-gone car.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBn7mdV7-tQ

“If I didn’t know better I would have thought it’d never stop.”
was more along the lines of,
“It rolled like the rice ball in The Rolling Riceball.”

Watch the story in the link below. It’s pretty cute, haha!


<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Cat’s Globe Prologue Part 2

Prologue (Part 2)

There was an Angel in the box.

He had finally found her. With his cat eyes, which worked fine even in the darkness, he could clearly make out her name written on her forehead. It was just as the legends said. The hair that had lost its color. Her fang that gleamed white even in the darkness. Her oversized jumpsuit, and her big, thick sneakers.

However, she wasn’t the only one surprised by their meeting.

Kasuka hadn’t expected her to be peeking out at him. When their eyes met and the box let out a scream and started to shake wildly, Kasuka was so surprised the hair all over his body shot straight up. He kicked off the box, did a back somersault in the air, made another leap off of a nearby mycelium stalk and hid himself awkwardly in a small forest of mold.

He was still just a kitten, after all.

Kasuka was a black kitten, so black he was just a pair of golden eyes in the midnight dark of Tolk. Holding himself steady with a mycelium stalk, he crouched down and stared steadily at the cardboard box. Something like a long, thick whisker was standing straight up on his head. This was actually a radio wave whisker, a unique appendage that all the cats of Tolk had. Thanks to this, the cats could speak to each other using digital signals over the radio waves, and could use the waves to echo-locate their way through the darkness and mists of Tolk’s corridors. The long, dextrous tail of the cats was also one of their specialties. With it, they could grab things, change direction in mid-air by wrapping it around pipes, and draw the attention of prey by waving it hypnotically in front of their eyes.

There was just one thing that set Kasuka apart from the other cats of Tolk. He didn’t have a robot partner.

Of course, a kitten his age not having a robot partner wasn’t that strange. It wasn’t as though the cats of Tolk were incapable of living on their own without a robot partner. But at that moment Kasuka was in the observation deck at the top of Tolk’s stele. Between the observation platform and the outer shell where the majority of the cats lived there were countless airlocks, forests of poisonous mold, and airless corridors where the air seals had been broken.

How could this black cat have walked this path alone? A path that even adult cats with robots of their own would tread only with the greatest of care.

“Did I scare you? Are you upset?”

Kasuka spoke to the cardboard box using digital signals.

“Are you gonna do something if I go over there again?”

The cardboard box did not respond.

There was a short metal pipe floating near Kasuka. Kasuka grabbed the pipe with his tail and pulled it back, waiting for a moment to fix his aim. Then he jumped, performed a flip in the air, and cracked his body like a whip, releasing his grip on the pipe to fling it toward the box. It smacked the box right around where ‘PLEASE TAKE ME’ was written and bounced off.

The instant it hit, a clumsy, rapid voice from the box said:

“Looks like rain looks like rain. Looks like rain coming in with the southern front. The interior is going to see some strong winds along with the rain, so everyone needs to take care out there. Tomorrow morning’s temperatures are looking to be the same as this morning, so folks in some areas may have trouble sleeping for the next few days.”

Kasuka’s eyes widened at the unexpected response.

Angelic was a long-lost language from the past. While there were ancient written records that could at least convey the meaning of words in the language, there was of course nothing that indicated actual vocal pronunciation of the words. Plus, cats did not have the concept of communication through spoken words in their culture. To understand spoken Angelic words was something even the greatest feline archeologist would struggle with.

Kasuka, however, felt that he could more or less understand what the cardboard box was trying to say.

How or why he understood, though, was a mystery.

He simply had a strange feeling that the words were not meaningless. He felt she was terribly pressured, terribly scared, and was trying her hardest to put on a strong front. Something like: ‘What are you doing, you stupid cat! Get out of here! I’m not scared of you!’

He spoke to the box again.

“Is it alright if I go over there?”

The box responded:

“Heavy rain. Flood warning.”

A strange feeling came over Kasuka, and he began to dance in a circle right there, with his long tail wrapped around the stem to make sure he didn’t float away. He was so charged with emotions the hairs on his back twitched. The cardboard box watched in grudging silence.

He had searched for so long. Not a single other robot could interest him. The nosy Doll Master had persistently offered to find a robot for Kasuka himself, and Kasuka had been bullied quite a lot for still being a robot-less runt. Despite all that, Kasuka had continued to search by himself. He had rummaged through ancient texts and wandered all over Tolk. He had even gotten himself into some very dangerous scrapes. He had been attacked by a monstrous wild robot and had his back right leg broken, and had almost died after stumbling into a cloud of poisonous mold.

Still, he had never once thought of giving up.

Without asking help from cat or robot, he had single-mindedly continued his search alone.

“…Did you know there’s a bounty on your head?”

The cardboard box did not reply.

“Oboro, the 36th, was put on trial before his death. He admitted that he had stashed some heretical texts inside of a jar and hidden them somewhere. When they heard this, the Ministry goons went crazy searching Tolk from top to bottom. But they never found the jar, or the robot who was supposed to know its location… Did you know?”

As expected, the cardboard box did not reply.

But Kasuka could tell. He could feel her eyes on him, peeking through the hand-holds of the box. For a long, long time her hopes had been dashed. She had lost faith, and the walls she had built inside to keep from getting hurt again were thick and solid.

“But I figure that must have been part of the 36th’s plan. You can’t be a Skywalker unless you’re real good at making plans. I think he would have said the same things, even if they hadn’t dragged it out of him during the trial. If he hadn’t said anything, no one would have known that the jar existed, and I never would have thought to look for it. You saw it for yourself, right? The research the 36th obsessed over like a madcat. The results of the 36th’s research are all stashed in that jar you’ve got, right?”

At that moment, blue light shone in through the observation deck windows.

The blue light moved from right to left across the view from the windows and banished night from the observation deck. All the flotsam drifting in the chamber gained color and shadow.

It was dawn in the observation deck, something that happened once every few hours.

“I will continue that research.”

He said it.

“I am Kasuka. The 37th Skywalker.”

Light dawned in the starry sky.

The observation deck was a large, spherical room at the top of Tolk’s stele. Surrounded by forests of mold and countless objects dancing lazily in the airflow, a black kitten was staring at a cardboard box with ‘PLEASE TAKE ME’ written on it.

The blue Earth that shone down as a background through the windows that made up the upper hemisphere of the chamber was covered with white rain clouds.

“I will take us there some day. I promise you.”

Kasuka spoke the words.

He would do it.

After so many had failed, he would succeed.

He would go to the place the cats all knew as the Earth Globe, the sacred Nirvana where the spirits of all dead cats were said to go. Sometimes the words of the Khans from the church rang true; Tolk was a castle, an island floating in space that the Angels had created in ancient times. It floated 6000 km above the Earth, rotating at a speed of 5600 meters per second. To defeat these two demonic numbers, one would need an extremely heat-resistant mechanism with a high-output jet engine. The high rotation speed and intense heat involved could be overcome if only the right amount of power and a proper heat shield were used.

 

-No matter where you hide, the 37th will definitely find you. Someone who cannot find you will never be able to find you. Listen, it’s always been like this, but there are two types of cats in this world.

Those who have no interest in the impossible, and those who have interest in nothing else.

With a sudden, surprising, delighted burst… the tabs of the cardboard box with ‘PLEASE TAKE ME’ written on it flew open.

Reika-sama – 163

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!


Join the Evil God Army on discord!
https://discord.gg/0uufyDAsTZXQaMz1


Hi guys! Looking for experienced cleaners or type-setters to help with the Tashinami scanlations.


I’d like to introduce you to our newest translator, Mitsu! Mitsu translates car documents from Japan! Also cute stuff.

Behold:

The Cat’s Globe
The Cute Cook

Also Ph. D translated a short story a while ago, so check that out too:

Government Magical Girl Rarana ☆ Miracle


Even though it was his fault that Wakaba-chan was being bullied, Kaburagi was sitting in the Salon, happily sipping away at tea.

Apparently he talked to Wakaba-chan again. Dumbass.

I was enjoying matcha rolls on my favourite sofa when Enjou came along.

“Kisshouin-san, thanks for humouring Yukino during the School Festival.”

“It was my pleasure.”

I hadn’t been to the Petite Pivoine since the School Festival ended. I wonder if he was doing well.

The two of us chatted about Yukino and the School Festival for a while.

“Recently Yukino has been obsessed with trying to do latte art too.”

“Goodness, Yukino-kun is?”

“I’m the one who has to drink his creations though. Every day my own little brother makes me drink a coffee he drew a heart on. Still not quite sure how I feel about that,” Enjou smiled helplessly.

I, on the other hand, was busy imagining little Yukino-kun, trying his very best to make latte art. It was so cute that it was all I could do to avoid squirming.

Speaking of latte art though, wasn’t Enjou going to draw Yuiko-san some~? Maybe now would be a good time to ask about her.

“Speaking of which, Katsuragi-kun from our middle school section came to visit. With a girl in tow, as well.”

“Well…”

Enjou made a show of trying to remember, before breaking into an amused smile.

“Yuiko and I have become quite the rumour, haven’t we.”

“That does seems to be the case.”

“Are you interested too, Kisshouin-san?”

“Why, not at all.”

It was kind of irritating to be treated like some gossiper. Well, I actually was interested though.

“I’ve told quite a few girls already, but Yuiko is a relative.”

“I see.”

I’d heard this tidbit as well. ‘But for relatives they were awfully…’ That was basically my thoughts on it.

“It looks like they’re still saying that Yuiko’s my girlfriend though.”

“That seems to be the case, yes. I have heard the rumours myself.”

“Yuiko isn’t my girlfriend.”

Eh-, really? But Katsuragi Boy claimed that she was your lover, you know?

“Oh? Was that unexpected?”

“Well, yes. Katsuragi-kun told me as much, so…” I sneakily tattled on him.

“Aaah. Well, he’s always kind of adored her, so…”

Enjou gave another helpless smile.

‘Adored’. Mmhm, that seems about right.

“She’s not my girlfriend though.”

“Aah.”

“She’s my fianceé.”

“Aah!?”

Fianceé!? Enjou’s!?

My eyes shot open and my whole body radiated shock when Enjou suddenly burst into laughter.

“‘Aah’? Just now you made an incredible expression, Kisshouin-san. Don’t tell me you believed me?”

“Haah?”

Was that a joke!? Which was it!? Stop making fun of me, you twisted guy!

“To be accurate, she’s a “candidate” for my engagement.”

“Candidate?”

“Yep. Since we were basically the same age, there’s always been talk about that. Since there was nothing official, she’s a candidate.”

“I see…”

Fianceé…

*

*

*

“Hmmm…”

For some reason I was in a bit of a funk when I got home. It felt like I was being left behind, somehow.

Even though we were all still high schoolers, some of the people in my grade were already thinking about engagements. It had me shaken. Since I’d known Enjou since primary, my feelings were a little complicated.

To me, marriage was something I’d always thought of as some far-off future.

“The future, huh…”

I rolled atop my bed for a while.

If I was being honest with myself, I never really thought about my future seriously. I spent most of my days focusing on the present.

As long as Otousama and Oniisama kept working hard at the company, our family wasn’t going to collapse either. I’d be able to do whatever I wanted without worrying about earning money for the family.

But that was the problem. I didn’t have anything I wanted to do. How could anybody have no dreams like this!

Still, maybe it was because of how I grew up, but I really wanted a real job. Not even in my dreams would I ever think about becoming an idol or something.

Being a civil servant would be ideal, but I’m not sure if it would be okay for the Kisshouin family’s only daughter to become one…

Maybe it would be a good idea to start looking into good jobs.

The future…

Tsk. Thanks to Enjou my mind was filled with serious thoughts now.

*

*

When I arrived at school the next morning I saw Kaburagi speaking to Wakaba-chan at the entrance. Pay attention to the eyes around you, Kaburagi!

When Wakaba-chan noticed me, she gave a little hop and tapped her shoes together. Kaburagi noticed and asked her,

“Huh. Takamichi, are you studying tap dancing?”

Thank goodness he was an idiot as usual.

*

*

When the weekend came around I visited the library. Since I’d been so busy with Bea-tan, it was the first time in a while. Maybe Naru-kun would be here~ Oh, there he was!

With a reference book for job requirements in hand, I picked a seat next to Naru-kun that was luckily free.

Since Naru-kun was busy with his exercise book, he didn’t notice my passionate gaze at all. Aah, wasn’t there anything with his name on it?

Since I couldn’t exactly turn my head and start staring at him, I pretended to read my book while leering to the side. If only I had a second face for times like this!

Maybe I could pretend to drop my pen. It worked in shoujo manga.

Wait, what was I even doing. I wasn’t going to deny that Naru-kun was part of it, but my motivation for today was also supposed to be thinking about my future.

What kind of qualifications would be good for my future? Tax consulting, accounting, law… All of them looked too hard for me.
I mean, I loved looking at my bankbook, but I sucked at maths, and I wasn’t prepared to be responsible for somebody’s life either.

What else then. Yeah, I think a civil servant with lots of fringe benefits would be best.

Suddenly, I noticed Naru-kun taking some printouts out of a clear plastic folder. Wasn’t this my chance to finally get his personal information!?

With my very best efforts at sneaking a glance, I found the name of a national high school at the top of what looked to be a practice test.

Wasn’t this the name of Aoi-chan’s high school!? It had to be fate this time, right!?

I immediately pulled out my phone to contact her when a message from Aira-sama arrived.

‘Masaya’s found a new love!?’


<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Reika-sama – 162

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!


Join the Evil God Army on discord!
https://discord.gg/0uufyDAsTZXQaMz1


Hi guys! Looking for experienced cleaners or type-setters to help with the Tashinami scanlations.


So, to everybody I pinged on Discord Friday night, you may have noticed that this was delayed by two days. I have a very good reason for that, so good that it absolves me of all wrong, but I’m afraid I’m not allowed to tell you. Ever. Instead have a double release I guess.

Oh, and if anybody hasn’t read it yet, I’d like to recommend Jun Jiuling which is a ‘more wilful personality is dumped into a trash girl’s body in (sometimes faux) Ancient China’ story.

I’d prefer not to spoil things since the author (shockingly) understands that dumping information on people will not necessarily make them care, but it’s a fun and surprisingly refreshing read.

Minor spoilers for those of you not convinced.


When the School Festival was over, all anybody could talk about was how the Emperor ate Takamichi Wakaba’s hand-made biscuits two days in a row, and how Enjou’s mysterious girlfriend had appeared.

Thanks to that, things were noisier for me too.

“What do you think about all this, Reika-sama? How could Kaburagi-sama of all people eat home-made sweets? And he even went there two days in a row, and even bought extra to bring home with him!”

“Bring home? As I recall, those biscuits were just extras for the tea. They were not for sale, unless I am mistaken…”

“Well, it’s Kaburagi-sama, so who would refuse… But it’s not even that he really liked the biscuits. They were made by a number of people, but he only wanted the ones made by Takamichi-san.”

You’re being way too blunt, Kaburagi…

“Apparently on the second day all of the girls involved with baking the biscuits tried to give him theirs. The only ones he touched were Takamichi-san’s though.”

“Goodness… The biscuits Takamichi-san baked must have truly matched his palate.”

“Why are you being so carefree, Reika-sama. Come on, you need to get your act together!” sulked Kikuno.

There wasn’t much I could do though…

“This morning Kaburagi-sama greeted Takamichi-san in the hallway again…” mumbled Ayame-chan.

“I heard from girls in her class that whenever he comes to greet Enjou-sama he always greets her as well.”

“It couldn’t be that Kaburagi-sama truly…”

“Hey-! Don’t say something so extreme!” Serika-chan said before covering her ears.

“Reika-sama? Have you heard anything from Kaburagi-sama?”

“What do you mean by ‘anything’?”

“Like we were saying, something about Takamichi-san. …Has it ever come up in the conversations in the Pivoine?”

“Not so far as I can remember.”

The girls all sighed. Sorry for being useless, everyone.

“Should Kaburagi-sama not be free to love whomever he wants, though…?”

“Reika-sama! How could you say that! I don’t like it! How could somebody just monopolise Kaburagi-sama like that! All of the girls in Zui’ran agree with me!”

“You must be exaggerating…”

“No, it’s true!” declared Kikuno-chan without a shred of hesitation.

Everybody nodded along like it was natural.

I guess since Kaburagi was like an idol, it wasn’t strange that his fans acted the way idol fans did.

“Even if Kaburagi-sama did find a girlfriend, she would have to be somebody we could all accept. If it was Yurie-sama then all of us would have felt that it was inevitable, but I don’t think anybody would accept Takamichi-san.”

“Right? Her background is unsuitable for him, and aren’t her looks just normal? She’s basically only good at studying, right?”

“Oh no. What if Takamichi-san only came to Zui’ran to look for a rich man? That’s horrible!”

Whoa, whoa, please don’t just randomly decide that Wakaba-chan’s a gold digger.

“Does Takamichi-san seem so ill-natured?”

“Goodness, are you taking Takamichi Wakaba’s side over ours, Reika-sama?”

“That was not my intention…”

Oh boy. I could even make things worse if I wasn’t careful. Worse for both Wakaba-chan and me.

“By the way, who was that woman with Enjou-sama…” Ayame-chan changed the subject, with an expression that I couldn’t quite place.

Everybody exchanged glances.

“They seemed rather close…”

“She linked arms with Enjou-sama.”

“And she even called Enjou-sama ‘Shuu’…”

“Enjou-sama called her ‘Yuiko’ too.”

“It can’t be…”

Everyone seemed to be bitterly thinking the same thing. ‘Was that his girlfriend?’

“What do you think, Reika-sama?”

“I have no idea either…”

Katsuragi Boy called her ‘Enjou-san’s lover’ didn’t he. Not that it meant that it was true…

What I did know was why Bird Brain had picked so many fights with me now. The adulation in his eyes when he looked at her was something else. Not that I couldn’t understand it.

We only met for a short while, but Yuiko-san had a special atmosphere. It was transient and ephemeral like the moon rippling on the water.

I think my friends realised it too. They had none of the energy, unlike when it came to Wakaba-chan.

Yeah. That girl was scary. I don’t think I could win.

“By the way, Reika-sama, who on earth were those boys taking photographs of you?”

“I think one of them had a lisp. When he said ‘Reika-san, come over here~’ it sounded like he was saying ‘Reika-tan, come over here~’…”

Please don’t bring that up…

*

*

Thanks to the stupid Kaburagi’s thoughtlessness, girls were getting more and more jealous of Wakaba-chan. Not a few times I saw them muttered ‘ugly’ or ‘don’t get ahead of yourself’ as they passed her. I guess it was a relief that Wakaba-chan didn’t seem fazed though.

One morning I came to school earlier than usual, and came across Wakaba-chan in the shoe hallway. I thought that I should at least greet her. When I walked over though, I noticed that she seemed troubled.

“Gokigen’yoh, Takamichi-san. Is something the matter?”

“Eh-”

When she turned to face me, in her hands were a pair of in-door shoes stained with ink.

“Aaah… Yeah, uh, for some reason these turned pitch black…”

“…”

Obviously somebody did this. So mean.

“How about borrowing some slippers for now? I do not see you wearing those again. Once the school store opens you can buy yourself another pair.”

“Hmmm… I guess even washing these wouldn’t work, huh.”

“…No, I suspect it would not. That does not look like watercolour ink. Perhaps it is brush ink…”

“Who knows. But I really need it to wash off. It’s really going to hurt my wallet otherwise…”

Oh right. The rest of us would have bought a new pair without another thought, but I guess it would be quite a burden on a commoner’s budget. The stuff that Zui’ran used was pretty expensive after all.

“I don’t mind insults and stuff but this kind of bullying is really a problem. Hmmm… Would bleach really not work though? I’d be okay with it for now if I could just get it to a light grey.”

Suddenly, I remembered. I actually had bought a new pair without a thought before.

“Umm, I actually have a pair that are a little dirty, if you are fine with that.”

“Ehh!?”

For now we had Wakaba-chan put on some slippers, and then we headed to the locker room. I opened my own locker, and brought out a bag from the very back of it. Inside were a pair of indoor shoes.

“Here.”

“Eh!? These don’t look dirty at all.”

“They are dirty at the bottom.”

She turned them over but still couldn’t seem to find anything.

“They look clean, though?”

“…Actually, I stepped in pigeon droppings with these.”

“Pigeon droppings…?”

“Indeed,” I nodded gravely.

It was a nice early afternoon. I had been on a stroll with my friends after lunch, happily thinking about how full I was, and what great weather it was.

That was when I stepped right into the bird poop. Fresh bird poop, still warm even, which was why I slipped a little.

“Aahh! Reika-sama stepped in poop!”

“Reika-sama! Let’s wash it off for now!”

I was led by the girls to the taps, still in shock and feeling a little dazed. We used a brush somewhere to clean it off, and it wasn’t hard since the soles were rubber. When we were done we even used disinfectant.

It was still gross to me though, and I didn’t want others to think I was wearing bird poop shoes, so I ended up just buying a new pair.

“I have washed and disinfected it, but…”

“…Is it really okay for me to take this from you? It looks brand new, you know?”

“True. But it has still been in pigeon droppings. Even you mind, surely?”

“No, not at all,” she declared.

She hadn’t hesitated at all.

“These look brand new. Actually I’m really thankful for them. Ah, but would the size fit? I’ve got pretty big feet. I’m a size 23.5.”

“…I am a size 24.”

“Eh? Then isn’t that just perfect? Ehehe,” she laughed.

Thank goodness. If I managed to help Wakaba-chan then that there was a meaning in stepping in that bird poop!

“Did they do this to your shoes yesterday…?”

Or had they come to school earlier? Maybe they were still watching…

“Hard to say. Ah! It looks like it fits perfectly! Thank you very much!”

“No, they had pigeon dropping on them so pay it no mind… Still, thank goodness I happened to come early today.”

I was actually here to prepare for one of my weaker subjects in the library.

“Yeah. Thanks to that I came away with shoes that were even cleaner than my own ones. What luck!”

God, she was such an optimist.

“You seem quite early yourself, Takamichi-san. Was there some reason to it today?”

“Oh, I always come early just to make sure I’m not late. Since I catch the train here there are accidents and delays sometimes, you know~ Can’t let that perfect attendance award go!” she clenched a fist.

Aah~ So she was worried about the train. Thinking back, that incident with the bike was because of a cancelled train too, wasn’t it. And wow, was she eager for perfect attendance. Going after the money bonus, huh.

“But if that is the only issue, then could you not simply apply for proof of lateness?”

“Well yeah, but that feels like running away to me. And I’d miss out on class too.”

Wow! You’re amazing, Wakaba-chan! As expected of one of our grade’s top 3 talents.

Anyway, since people were going to come soon, I said goodbye to Wakaba-chan and headed for my own room.


<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

The Cute Cook 03: Encounter

03 Encounter

I blankly watch clouds crawl across the canvas of the blue sky. This scenery isn’t too different from what I’d see back where I used to live. So peaceful.

On the other hand, the plant and animal life all around me is completely different from anything that would have existed back home. Also there are two suns in the sky, but I’m pretending not to see the second one.

If memory serves me, I died in an unspeakably stupid way and got myself caught up in one of those otherworld rebirth things. From the look of things, I think it’s safe to say I’m not just here to visit. I mean, getting teleported somewhere from slamming into an electric pole, and then getting my time reversed to end up in a younger body? Sounds like it would be a crazy SF novel, but I doubt that’s what happened here. If I was a comedian and my partner used that kind of story as the set up for a joke I wouldn’t give him a playful slap. I’d backhand him across the face.

Setting that aside, for now, the fact is I can’t think of anything more dangerous than a little girl walking around in such a wild place alone. I hope I’m just a normal lost kid.

However, there’s also the possibility that the child who owns this body experienced something so traumatizing their mind couldn’t take it, which then awakened the personality I think of as ‘me’. Or maybe I’m just wearing the body of some kid that just died?

That’s horrible. I mean, these are just things I’m thinking up, but either possibility is pretty dang serious.

Then again, there’s something that looks like a name carved into the bracelets on my arms, and it seems to read ‘Yuuri’, which is pretty close to my actual name. The letters are in some kind of cursive writing I’ve never seen before, but I can read it so it should be all right.

Honestly, the more I think about the situation I’m in now, the worse it’s looking. One mistake could cost me my life. After all, I don’t know the first thing about any of the flora or fauna around here.

First and foremost, I can’t tell what’s edible. I got lucky earlier and stumbled on some food, but I’m going to need more to eat soon. And I’d prefer that it not be poisonous.

Second, I’m fine running into an herbivore, but if I run into a carnivore without realizing it that’d be the end for me. I’d be dinner.

To top it all off, things are going to get bad once the sun goes down. It’s going to get more dangerous, obviously, but the big problem is I won’t even be able to tell how dangerous things are around me. I’m sure there are plenty of nocturnal animals, around here. Can a single person from modern Japan survive a night here without even a fire?

All that said, I’m not going to just curl up and die, and I’m definitely not going to give up and off myself either. Logically it looks like an impossible situation, but I can’t give up so easily.

After all, there’s still so many delicious things out there that I haven’t tasted. And I just became a professional chef, finally at the level where I could start creating my own original flavors. Plus, since this is an otherworld, and all the stuff living and growing here is new to me, I imagine this whole world is full of new flavors for me to experience.

Plus, I mean c’mon, in this body I’ve still got decades of youth left in me. No way am I going to give up on this life without a fight.

What’s that? I’m obsessed with food? Well thank you, I take that as a compliment!

As I let my thoughts run wild, the clouds drift by and the sun(s) move steadily toward the west(?).

I didn’t want to do anything rash, so I decided to conserve and recover my strength.

 

“… man I’m hungry.”

I sighed, hugging my knees to my stomach as it began to send some fairly terrific noises echoing off the trees again. I’ve been here for half a day by now, and I still haven’t seen a single person. Normally I wouldn’t care so much about being alone, but I think my unease at this whole situation is making it impossible to ignore. The sky is already turning orange with sunset, so night can’t be too far off.

Mmm, the orange of the sunset kind of reminds me of orange jell-o, with lots of fruit in it. Man I want to eat some. Crap, just thinking about it has me drooling. *slurp*

I think fate decided to punish me for my stupid thoughts.

“Wait, hold on. That’s just not fair.”

Something appeared, just as the sky shifted from orange to dark blue. My eyes are still adjusting to the darkness, but I can tell in a single glance that this something is dangerous.

It’s quite a bit smaller than the ones I’ve seen in movies, but it’s still a giant compared to me. It’s eyes are shining in the darkness, as they stare directly at me.

“Ahahaha…”

I laugh dryly. Really, all I can do is laugh. I mean come on…

It’s a dinosaur!~* Yay!

Also, the probability that it’s already sized me up as being delicious prey: 100%!

My athletic abilities are pretty bad.

I can’t really depend on my tiny little girl legs to outrun this guy.

I’m unarmed.

I’m seriously out of ideas. I never in a million years thought I’d get to experience dinner from the perspective of the main dish. Thinking about it is just making my head hurt.

How the heck am I supposed to clear this death flag?

Ah, crap. He’s getting closer, and it’s pretty obvious he’s all for gulping me down.

“Uuuuhaaaaaai!”

What the hell was that un-cute, moronic scream that just went past?… Oh, it was me.

Well whatever, I guess it’s alright to run, but it’s chasing me. I can hear its feet going *whump whump* and the sticks and stuff behind me going *snap crackle pop*. That’s probably the sound my bones will make when he’s chomping on them. Yep!

Is my new life, born from that idiotic memory, going to end already? It’s too soon!

*wheeze, crap I’m already running out of breath. My heart’s pounding, both metaphorically and literally. I could use a little help here!!

I try to shake him by adding a little zig-zagging to my dash, but…

“It’s not working!!”

Hunger pushes us all beyond our limits. I’m talking about the hungry dinosaur, of course.

It’s dark I’m scared I’m falling!!

Wait is that another one coming from in front of me now? Someone wake me up, this has to be a nightmare!

My tank’s on empty, I’m done for…

“~~~~!!”

Okay. Guess I’m dinner.

“—”

Right before I passed out from terror and starvation, I thought I saw something sparkle in the darkness.

Arachne – 10

An Adult Christmas


At the counter stool was a red-haired beauty around 20 to 30 years old with her face buried on the table.

The warrior Millie Hackman was one of this store’s – the Arachne Tailor’s – regular customers.

“Heeeey, listen to me, Shioriiiiii… You know my guy? He completely stopped wanting me these days…”

What in the world are you saying to a kid? I looks to be around 13, but my real age is just over 1 year old, you know?

In any case, don’t you think it’s a little bit early for me to hear about that sort of things?

—Well, I am 25 years old mentally, though…

Greetings. It’s been a long time. Arakura Shiori (25), the ex-Japanese reincarnated as a half-human half-monster bizarro spider womanArachne, has returned.

Or if you can remember me as the owner of Arachne Tailor, Shiori Arachne, that would be my honor.

These days, I’d been worrying that perhaps our readers have forgotten about me after so long.

“And I even did a lot of exercises for him too, you know? Here, look.”

*swish*. Millie lifted up the hem of her clothes to show her belly.

She’s got a perfect six-pack.

“How’s that?! Totally jacked, right?”

Millie happily displayed her muscles.

Ah, now she’s started to pose.

“Next, this is the front lat spread! And the side chest!”

… Who the hell brought bodybuilder poses into this worldFalyias?

Millie the beauty has gone down the wrong path. Tarnation.

“No, well… Perhaps your husband was tired? I don’t think he came to hate you.”

“T-That really so? Really?”

As a matter of fact, Mille’s husband, Rizott Hackman, also came to me yesterday and,

“These days, my wife was showing off her muscles even in bed… It’s called bodybuilder posing or something. Anyway, since she started doing that, I couldn’t get in the mood… Shiori, what do you think I should do?”

Consulted me about their relationship.

Or rather, just what sort of discussion was this pair of husband and wife bringing to a kid? You two should know that this would be considered sexual harassment if it was modern Japan.

“So us two are still young, yeah? I’m thinking it’s still early to do a sexless marriage… And I wanted some kids too, as wife and husband, you get what I’m saying?”

“Mmmm… I see… How about this, you can try giving shape to your feelings and showing it to your husband once in a while?”

“… Giving shape?”

“Apparently, there is a certain custom in a foreign country. Once a year, on a snowy day, lovers and couples would send each other presents. I think it was called Christmas.”

“K-Krissmas…?”

“That’s the holy night for lovers! Cakes, turkeys, some slightly expensive wine. And then, once the mood is right, when both of you are a bit tipsy…”

“I push him down, right?!!”

“… Please ‘let yourself be pushed down’ instead.”

Rizott was quite a high level magician too, but it’s true that he’s disadvantaged against Millie. So lady, please cooperate here.

“A ‘holey’ night, is it?… Foreign countries are quite progressive, huh… To have that sort of indecent custom…”

I had a feeling she’s misunderstanding something here, but no need to correct her.

And Japan’s Christmas was pretty much like that, anyway.

I didn’t have someone to be with back in Japan, so Christmas was only an event for me to chant some explosion curses for all those fulfilled couples.

“And so, as a matter of fact, I have just the right thing for you to present to your husband… As long as he uses it, your man is guaranteed to turn into a beast!”

“R-R-R-R-Reallyyyy?!”

Millie jumped up and charged towards me.

You’re close, lady. Too close.

“I-It’s 10 silver coins. A bit pricey, but the effect is extraordinary.”

“Buyinggggggg!”

“Thank you for your patronage! I’ll need some time to make it, so please come back 2 days later.”

“2 days later, yeah? Got it. I just can’t wait, Shiori! *kissy*

When she left, she gave me a hug & a kiss on the cheek, apparently out of extreme gratitude.

I’m telling you, do that sort of things with your husband instead.

“Well then, I don’t have that much time, so let’s hurry.”

Right after closing the store, I started on making the presents inside the workroom.

In fact, I had a similar conversation with the husband Rizott, and I already accepted an order to make a present for him to give to Millie.

Basically, I had to make something for both of them, which meant I didn’t have much free time.

“First, to release my human transformation.”

When I disabled the skill [Human Transformation], my lower body turned into a huge spider, and six rubies popped up on my forehand.

These eyes belong to my human-spider-hybridArachne form. Plus my natural eyes, I would have 8 in total, just like a real spider.

They’re also quite convenient.

Not only is my field of vision large, I can also see as far away as if I’m using binoculars, and can even make out tiny details like a real microscope.

These eyes help out quite a lot in sewing, too.

“Well then, first off is Millie’s… and there we go.”

I put some strength into my spider’s butt while activating [Charm].

And then, some clear secretion began to slowly ooze out of the tip of my butt.

Next, I collected it in bottles of pottery.

To explain, this secretion has its origins in the characteristic ecology of the Arachne race.

Since only female Arachnes are born, the race would need to find human or elven males and get their sperm in order to breed.

For that reason, Arachnes can secrete aphrodisiac fluids targeting males and use it to lure them in.

However, it’ll be too strong if I’m using it as it is, so I added some Oran fruit juice into it and diluted by a factor of around 20.

Furthermore, to help with the husband’s weak physique, I added some vitality-boosting essence taken from goji berries, added alcohol as a preservative, and finally poured some magic power in to stabilize the quality. Finished.

After pouring it into small bottles… I got enough for 12 bottles. Exactly a dozen.

“Now to wrap them… Done.”

Let’s call these drinks in wrapped bottles… umm, ‘Alvitan D’.

I put them in my merchandise storehouse and moved on to my next job.

Next is the product to be given to Rizott… which meant this will ultimately be used by Millie.

Right, so first off is to prepare some Crimson Dragon scales and Dragon Pearls.

The first step would be to have a meal.

I had 5 pieces of the scales, each as big as a human’s hand.

The pearl was much more expensive than the scales… so I had just a little bit of a bite, just one mouthful.

“Mmm… The scales aren’t bad, they’re like rice crackers. Like shrimp crackers.”

And the crunchy texture was quite good too.

Of course, if a normal person tried to eat it, they wouldn’t be able to make a dent on the scales, literally. The dragons are still S-rank monsters, after all. Even the average swords wouldn’t be able to make a scratch, much less human teeth.

By the way, the dragon pearls’ texture was like slightly tough gummy bears.

“Thank you for the meal.”

After eating all the ingredients, I focused the Crimson Dragon’s essence in the thread-making organ inside my body – the thread gland.

This way, I can color the threads at the same time they were created, which means I don’t need a separate dyeing process. Yuuup, convenient.

Furthermore, during this phase, if I guide magical power into my thread glands and imagine what I want to do, I can somewhat adjust the threads’ toughness and characteristic.

By the way, I used to have a separate dyeing process after creating the threads, but ever since I thought of this method, the dyeing were all done inside my body.

Not only can this method help cut down on the work I need to do, it’s also quite efficient.

“Right, preparations complete. Let’s get to crafting.”

*swish* *swish*. The threads came out of my butt and were directly shaped into clothes.

This time, it’s important for the clothes to be thin, so I created some super-fine threads.

I also focused to the utmost of my abilities to weave them thinly, as thiiiiiiin as possible.

And then, after 30 minutes of concentration.

“Alright, done! It was really difficult to get the curse and blessing to coexist, but it was worth it! Yeah, I’m totally singing my own praises here.”

That’s right. “Curse” and “blessing”.

That was the most important point for this product.

I can only hope that this works well.

And then, the day of delivery.

“Shiorii-, o-pen u-p!”

Before the shop even opened, Millie’s giddy voice already rang around the neighborhood.

“I’ve arri-ved! For the happy-marriage secret medicine!”

I’m telling you, you’re way too loud.

Look, the neighbors were sniggering and looking over here. Aaaah, so embarrassing.

I ran towards the door, quickly opened it, and dragged Millie inside the shop.

“Geez, don’t bother the neighbors so early in the morning.”

“Ahaha, sorriez sorriez. I got a bit too excited. So, where’s the good stuff?”

“You’re making it sound like I’m dealing in illegal goods… Well, whatever. Here, the items you ordered.”

*thud*. I dropped a case with one dozen bottles of Alvitan D on the counter.

“Hmm? These are… potions?”

“No… If I have to say, they would be energy drinks. 1 silver coin for each bottle. There are 12 bottles in a case, 2 of them are complimentary.”

“I see, I see… So, what’s the effect?”

“Supplementing energy, increasing strength, increasing stamina… And heightened sexual excitement towards women… One bottle’s effect should last for around 2 hours.”

“Oooooooohhh!!”

“Do be warned that his lust will be targeting women in general. These drinks can’t specify you as the only target for his excitement, so make sure to have him drink it only when the two of you are alone.”

“Yeah, yeah, thank you—!!”

After paying the 10 silvers, Millie carefully picked up the case of Alvitan D, carried it in her arms as if it’s a crate of jewelry, and skipped back home.

…Will you be okay, mister husband?

I did try to weaken the aphrodisiac effect and strengthen the vitality boosting effect when concocting the drinks, but I’m still worried.

“Shiori, Shiori.”

“My, if it isn’t mister Rizott.”

Speak of the devil.

The magician Rizott Hackman, Millie’s husband, came into my store as if exchanging places with his wife.

“You’re finished with that thing, right?”

“Yes, since this order was much more in line with my specialty than the items I gave to the missus.”

“Thanks a bunch. What was it called again, baby… something?”

“It’s a babydoll. It’s a kind of sexy lingerie that can also be used as a nightgown. Also, for this particular dress, I added a curse that weakens the wearer’s strength.”

“I see, and will it cause any health problems?”

“It’s safe. The curse only takes effect when worn, and it’s not like she’ll be completely immobile… To give a precise number, I’d say that her strength would be reduced by around 20%.”

At the same time, I also added the blessing of Charm by using Crimson Dragon materials.

This blessing was a particularly strong one.

“Thank you very much… Umm, you see, she has a habit of hugging me… Thinking of all the times I got hugged when climaxing, I was afraid that one day I would ascend for real…”

I told you, stop telling children about all the things that go on in your bedroom.

…Well, I’m not surprised if it’s Millie, though.

This amazon was even rumored to have used a bear hug to finish off a real Forest Bear.

For the bookish magician Rizott, keeping her company at night must have been a matter of life and death.

Well, since I already knew all of that beforehand, I made sure to focus more on the strengthening enchantment on those Alvitan D drinks. So please try your best, mister magician.

“Alright, here’s the payment.”

“Yes, exactly 3 gold coins.”

“…But is this really fine? This is much too cheap.”

“Please don’t worry. I managed to acquire the materials for an extremely low price.”

Or to be more precise, for free.

I hunted the Crimson Dragon myself anyway, and even the threads were mine.

Taking the technical cost and the handling charge into account, this price should be right.

“Instead, I would like to ask you to help advertise the babydoll. I can sell the unenchanted version for quite a lot less.”

“Got it. I’ll see if I can drop a few hints for the married crowd in the magician’s guild.”

Rizott promised me with a serious look on his face.

…No, half of it was a joke, so you don’t need to take it so seriously.

And then, another few days after.

The Hackman couple came together to offer their thanks for the items, which have been much more effective than they thought. I could only spare them a glance as I busied myself in the store that has turned into a warzone.

“Shiori, thank you! Darling’s present was also prepared by you, right? That was amazing, I just put it on and approached him and boom! He really turned into a beast… Kya♡!”

“Mm, mmm… Well, umm, that’s how it was. The energy drinks I got from wifey also helped out a whole lot. I didn’t expect that it would also raise my defense in addition to stamina… And it’s even almost twice as powerful as the traditional Booster strengthening medicine. If we can use this whenever and wherever we want, not just at night, it could also be incomparably helpful for combat… With this, I could even withstand the wife’s bear hu- lovely embrace.”

Yeah, well, it’s good that it went well for you two.

But please read the mood a bit.

Right now, my store was jam-packed with customers looking for Alvitan D and the babydolls.

To compare, it’s like a department store on the first opening day of the new year.

“Miss owner! 5 cases of this Alvitan D, please!”

“Oi, you fucker trying to buy it up? Leave some for me!”

“Shiori, which one do you think fit me better, this pink or black babydoll?”

“Hey! Don’t get both of them! Leave one for me!”

“Excuse me, my order of Alvitan…”

“Come now, mister. These drinks are for a couple’s happiness, you know? So I’ll be taking them.”

“Your man wouldn’t spare a glance for old bats like you even if he drink those!”

“The hell was that? Do you dare say that one more time?!”

“What should I do… Would this thong-babydoll set be a little too sexy?”

Etcetera, etcetera. The scene of chaos.

Outside the store, there was quite a long line too.

Apparently, the Hackman couple spread their story around way too much.

I’m happy that my products got famous, but! But!

Nope, my storehouse wouldn’t hold at this rate. Looked like the only solution left is to accept the orders for now and deliver them another day.

“Millie ♡”

“Darling ♡”

Yes, yes, you damn couple over there.

If you’re done, go back home. Else I’m going to put an explosion curse on you.


As always, below is the stats for the products.

For this chapter, they’re the Al D drink and the babydoll.

——

Alvitan D

Drinks made by processing aphrodisiac secretions from an Arachne.

1 bottle lasts for around 2 hours.

For safety reasons, the aphrodisiac effect was reduced down to only around 5% of its strength.

Instead, however, the drink can grant a large bonus to stamina and defense.

This effect is much more powerful than the market-sold strengthening medicine’s.

——

Dragon Pink Babydoll

Defense +19

Magical Defense +47

Fire Resistance +55%

Basic Stat Charm +30%

Basic Stat Strength -20%

A see-through sexy pink babydoll.

A rare product with a curse that reduces strength by 20%, mostly for the husband’s safety.

As the dress was thin to the point of translucence, it doesn’t have much defensive power (it’s still as tough as a normal set of hard leather armor, however). Yet, as it used Crimson Dragon materials, its fire resistance is extraordinary.


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「今日のお兄ちゃんはおかしいよ!怖いよ!ッ!?いやだよっ!いやぁ!やめて!やめてぇっ!!」