Category Archives: Tilea

Turf War – Chapter 15

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ.

Thank you for your consideration, guys!


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Might want to have a read of Volume 1, Chapter 31 first: https://oniichanyamete.wordpress.com/2015/10/02/tileas-worries-chapter-31/


Chapter 15 – Sera vs Ortissio the Fiend!?

“Niel, stoppu! Y-You two, stand by outside!”

“”As you will!””

The two of them did as my daughter asked and left the room. Nielsen is one thing, but Ortissio the noble listened as well. Was he trying to play up his harmlessness? Or did he have some other scheme?

Wait, hang on. More importantly…

…Tilea, weren’t you supposed to let me meet him?

“Tilea, why did you tell the two of them to wait outside?”

“Be-, B-Because I’m not mentally prepared yet…”

I looked up to find my daughter shaking pitifully, pacing about the room.

“Calm down a little.”

“Mum, w-w-w-what do we do? We’re going to be turned into meat slaves!”

Oh dear. Did I scare her a little too much? Tilea was too trusting in Ortissio so I brought up the Fiend as a bit of a warning, but…

I suppose it was a little too effective. I could pick out “The Fiend is-! The Fiend is-!” and “Anything but a meat slave!” amongst my daughter’s ramblings in the background. I couldn’t exactly talk to Ortissio with Tilea like this.

Certainly, Ortissio isn’t trustworthy. It’s more than possible that he’s using all this money to deceive my daughter. Tilea is silly but cute, so perhaps he intends to bind her with debts to satiate his lust. I need to find out what he wants. And for that to happen I need Tilea to calm down.

Gosh, why did I not see this coming. My daughter has always had the terrible habit of fixating on an idea once it gets into her head. Once she’s afraid of something she’ll believe it until the end.

“Just calm down, Tilea.”

“Oh no, the Fiend. The Fiend is coming. The calcium deficient Fiend is cominggg!”

It’s no use. She’s not listening at all. Also what on earth does she mean by “kalsiyum deficient”?

Sometimes my daughter will mutter made-up words. When she was young my husband and I had suspected that it was some illness of the mind so we invited a physician to have a look at her. When his prognosis was, “She’s not ill. That’s just her personality,” I was relieved but also incredibly sad for some reason. Well, these days I’ve come to find her silliness quite endearing though.

At any rate, I need to calm her down!

I held Tilea firmly by the shoulders and looked straight into her eyes.

“Tilea!”

Oh, that seemed to work. Tilea stopped muttering and grasped onto my hands.

“Ah… M-, Mum… W-What do we do…?”

“Leave the talking to your Mum. There’s nothing for you to worry about,” I said as I gripped her trembling hands back.

“B-But, he’s a powerful noble just like that Fiend that eats women.”

“It’s going to be okay. Your mother is actually quite good at negotiating these days. I won’t let him push me around.”

“R-, Really?”

“Yeah. So you wait outside for a little while, okay?”

Having you here might cause all kinds of problems.

“B-But I can’t just leave you alone, Mum. I’ll stay.”

Tilea’s legs were still shaking. She must have been terrified. But she still managed to muster her bravery for her mother. She really is such a sweet child. I can’t let anything happen to her.

“I’ll be fine, Tilea. Besides, isn’t Timu coming home from school soon?”

“Oh no! At this rate she’ll bump into the Fiend(Or)!”

“Right? So I want you to pick her up for me.”

“B-But…”

“You’re an older sister, Tilea. Don’t cut corners and take care of your sister!”

“You’re right! I’ll find her and we’ll be back in no time. Mum, you can’t be alone with him.”

“Yes, yes.”

“I’ll be back really soon, okay?”

With that, Tilea rushed outside.

Sorry, Tilea. I really hate abusing your concern for Timu like this but I really need you away from here.

Alright then. Time to negotiate.

I clapped my cheeks to wake myself up, and then went to talk to the two men still standing outside.

“Ortissio-san, Nielsen-san, please come in.”

“However, Tilea-sama ordered us to stand by…”

“My daughter has left on an urgent errand.”

“I see. Then we shall stand by until she returns.”

Wai-, Nielsen-san, aren’t you taking this a little too seriously? If Tilea tells you to wait here will you stand here until the next morning!?

Goodness, Nielsen-san is the same as ever. Always following my daughter’s words to the letter. Even when those words are completely ridiculous. I don’t know if it’s because they help him at work but he never treats himself as their equal. Honestly, I don’t know if I should praise him for his earnestness or…

“Nielsen-san, Tilea said that you don’t need to stand by any more.”

“Then I shall stand by until Tilea-sama returns to confirm my orders.”

Oh my goodness, this man is too inflexible. What kind of adult are you if you’ll treat a child’s babble as law!

“Um, did my daughter not tell you about how I wanted to speak with Ortissio-san?”

“She did indeed tell me.”

“Then, if possible I’d like to have a chat with him while we wait for my daughter, but…”

“However, Tilea-sama ordered us to stand by…”

He’s still undecided. Sigh. When Nielsen-san is being stubborn like this nothing I say makes a difference. What do I usually do to get around this. Oh right, “A Secret Mission From Tilea”. I’m going to have to use that word again, aren’t I.

“Nielsen-san, my daughter wanted us to finish our discussion before she arrived home. She said that this was an… executive order.”

Silence reigned.

And then…

“I see. Then please excuse me.”

Finally.

Hahh, I’m starting to really see what Tilea means about this man. I’ll bet it’s this personality of his that kept him unemployed for so long.

I let out another sigh as he headed inside. Following behind him was a young man of perhaps thirty. His face was ordinary and unremarkable. I supposed that this was Ortissio.

Get your game face on, Sera. You’re used to dealing with these nobles. Make sure to protect your daughters!

Just as I was firing myself up…

“Greetings. My name is Ortissio Bo Bach. It is my humble pleasure to make your acquaintance, Sera-sama,” said the man, before immediately prostrating himself before me.

Eh!? Eh!? Do you have to go that far!?

This was beyond the scope of my expectations. An aristocrat getting on hands and knees to prostrate himself before a commoner? No matter what kind of plan he had I just couldn’t imagine a noble throwing away their pride like this.

Oh no. This was so unexpected that I couldn’t think straight.

U-Up! I had to get him up! A noble prostrating to a commoner like this could be the seed for all kinds of trouble…

“U-Um, Ortissio-san, please raise your head. I truly don’t know what to do!”

“Understood.”

“Is there any soldier who would just raise their heeeaaaad!?”

“Guhah-!”

Out of the blue, Nielsen-san started bellowing and then struck Ortissio in the back of his head, causing him to fall flat onto the ground.

“N-Nielsen-san!? What are you doing!”

“Oh? I was simply disciplining him. I am teaching Ortissio the appropriate bearing for a retainer.”

“Discipli-, p-please don’t just suddenly hit people!” I screamed in the chaos.

How could you treat a major noble this way…

No matter what kind of fault the noble had, striking them like this was grounds for being sentenced for treason.

Are you insane, Nielsen-san! You’re really just like Tilea said. And here I thought you had more sense than this.

Forget about attacking a noble, suddenly hitting anybody like that is insane! Wait, don’t tell me he’s actually going senile at his age…

“Ortissio. At Sera-sama’s request I will end your punishment here. Remember your respect next time.”

“Y-Yes.”

Ortissio shakily returned to his feet. He seemed to have been concussed.

“Ortissio, you dare command a division when you can be shaken with such a punch?”

“M-My deepest apologies.”

“Apologies are meaningless. More importantly…”

And thus began Nielsen-san’s merciless verbal attack on the unsteady Ortissio.

…………

……………………

………………………………

“N-Nielsen-san, isn’t that enough…? You could be arrested for treating a noble this way, you know?”

“Noble? Sera-sama, you were told that damned Ortissio was a noble?”

“Well, yes?”

“Impossible. How could Ortissio be a noble.”

“Eh-, is he not? My daughter told me he was so I was sure…”

Hahh, goodness, that ridiculous girl!

Ortissio-san wasn’t a noble. It looks like that girl has gotten into yet another incredible misunderstanding.

“…Actually, Ortissio is indeed a noble. Isn’t that right, Ortissio!”

“Y-Yes. I am a noble. My parents and their ancestors were of course nobles, making me also a noble.”

“H-Hold on. Nielsen-san? Didn’t you just say that he wasn’t a noble? Which one is it?”

“My sincere apologies, Sera-sama. At my age I seem to be forgetting things all the time. That was a mistake. Tilea-sama’s words are the correct ones. Damned Ortissio is most undeniably and unmistakably a noble.”

After that, the two of them began going on about how this ancestor was a count, or how this other ancestor was a duke…

What on earth is wrong with these two…

It’s way too fake! They’re acting like complete children! Even Ortissio being a noble is under doubt now!

Still, the truth remained that Ortissio was incredibly rich. At the very least the furnishings in this restaurant could attest to that. But I wasn’t sure if it was possible to have a proper chat about the debt. Nielsen-san in particular was acting especially strangely. Could it be he really was becoming senile…?

I levelled a careful gaze at him. His hair was silver-grey, and his moustache was trimmed frustratingly neatly. Mn. A total fop of a man. But he didn’t seem at all senile. Still, I could tell that his being here was only going to get in the way of things.

“S-Say, Nielsen-san, do you think you could leave the two of us to have a chat in private…?”

“Understood. Well then, I shall stand by outside.”

“Sorry about this. In the end I’m kicking you out.”

“Absolutely not. This much is natural for a retainer such as myself. Well then, Ortissio, do your best to remain respectful.”

“O-Of course I will.”

“Sera-sama, if damned Ortissio shows you any disrespect you need only call out for me. I shall acquaint him with the iron fist of the law,” said Nielsen-san as he clenched a fist in front of his chest. Not a shred of fear towards nobility could be seen in him. It was as though he was talking about some naughty neighbourhood kid.

“…Nielsen-san, Ortissio-san truly is a noble isn’t he?”

“Yes, that is exactly the case.”

“Could it be that you also hold a peerage, Nielsen-san?”

I could at least understand if he was also an aristocrat.

“Is that what Tilea-sama told you?”

“No, I haven’t heard anything like that. But you just seem so close with Ortissio-san.”

“Ha ha! I simply go back a long way with this idiot. But I myself am simply…”

“Simply…?”

“…Sera-sama, may I ask what Tilea-sama said about me?”

“Eh!? J-Just that… Well, she called you a ‘chuuneebyoh’ and a ‘niit’.”

“Ohh! That is exactly right. I am indeed a ‘chuuneebyoh’ and a ‘niit’.”

W-Why are you declaring that so proudly! Tilea told me that a ‘chuuneebyoh’ means somebody who can’t face reality and holds all kinds of embarrassing delusions, and a ‘niit’ is a useless human who won’t find a job.

I don’t understand. I’ve only known Nielsen-san for a little over a year. There are still too many things I don’t understand about this man. Anyway, I need to focus on Ortissio.

Once Nielsen-san left to ‘stand by’ outside, Ortissio sat down opposite me at the table.

“U-Um, Sera-sama,” he began meekly, “You said you had something to discuss with me?”

“Yes. I deeply apologise for the losses my daughter has incurred upon your store.”

I decided first to begin with apologising for Tilea’s mismanagement. Because of the earlier prostrating perhaps it wasn’t as effective as I would have liked, though. Unfortunately I couldn’t return the favour. The nobility will grasp at any weakness you show them.

Confusingly, Ortissio didn’t seem to understand because he stared blankly at me. His entire expression was screaming ‘Why am I being apologised to?’. Did he even know about the debt? Could it be that the restaurant was owned by somebody else?

And just as expected…

“U-Um, I do not understand what you are apologising about…”

So I voiced my doubts.

“My daughter owes you a great debt, does she not? You own this shop, right?”

“I certainly have handed money over to Tilea-sama. However, you say that I’m the owner of this shop?”

“Are you not? My daughter said that you were.”

“…T-, That’s exactly right. I am indeed the owner of this shop, who is Ortissio. I look forward to your continued patronage.”

An incredibly unnatural response… What on earth have these two been playing at…

“And what might the truth be?”

“As I said, I am the owner.”

“Y-, You must be joking, right?”

“No, no, I would not dare.”

“…Very well. In any case, I would like to talk about the debt. I sincerely apologise but at this point in time we have no means to pay it back. You could say that we can’t ever pay back the entirety. However, we will try our best in instalments to contri-”

“Debt? There is no need to pay it back. Actually, far from repayment I would be more than happy to continue providing money as long as Tilea-sama still desires.”

“W-What are you saying! The debt has already exceeded a hundred million gold, you know. Are you saying that you’re going to just forget about that!”

“Yes, quite so. Is there some problem…?”

“Hah!? There’s a huge problem! Three hundred million gold in debt. I can’t believe that you’d just forget about that. And you keep saying “Tilea-sama, Tilea-sama”… You’re a high-ranking noble, and the owner of this store, aren’t you? What are you planning by acting like a servant!”

“Ah, no, that’s because the Generalissimo of the Evil God Army is none other than… I mean, wait… S-Say, Sera-sama, I apologise for the sudden question but what do you know about the Evil God Army?”

“Evil God Army? What is that supposed to mean? An army of demons? Shouldn’t it be the Demon King Army then?”

“Hm. So if I mentioned the terms ‘Evil God-sama’ and the ‘Legendary Demon Camilla-sama’ you wouldn’t understand…”

“What are yo talking about! Are you planning on lecturing me on history now? Please do not avoid the subject.”

“I see… So Tilea-sama… is hiding it… Then I too.”

“W-Why are you just muttering to yourself! Are you saying that Tilea is involved in this Evil God Army?”

“No, no, I was simply talking to myself. It is nothing that you need to worry about. R-Right, I was simply thinking about some of the military investments I’ve made. As a noble.”

“I see. I wouldn’t understand investments in military expenses. But please do not get my daughter involved.”

“Of course. Tilea-sa…n, is simply an excellent cook that I employ.”

Suspicious. He’s clearly hiding something. This man might be smiling politely but it doesn’t reach his eyes. At a glance he might seem incredibly courteous but from his eyes I can tell that he thinks of me as an idiot. No, as a bug of some kind.

Because of this act, Tilea has probably mistaken him for a good person. This is bad. There’s something incredibly dangerous about this. I was right, Tilea. You’re being deceived.

“Do you think I’ll just accept that! Even if you’ve fooled my daughter, you haven’t fooled me.”

“Nobody is fooling anybody. Tilea-sa…n, is simply a talented cook with incredible prospects. That I have any ill-intentions towards her is unthinkable. And that debt you mentioned might be a lot to you, but as a major noble it simply isn’t much. Please be at ease.”

“A few hundred million isn’t much, you say!”

“Yes, exactly so.”

It didn’t feel as though he was lying. He really didn’t seem to think anything of that money. But no matter how he saw it, the debt was still a three hundred million.

In the end, why did Ortissio spend so much money on my daughter? It made no sense.

Whether for good or for ill, my daughter is incredibly beautiful. It wouldn’t be strange for some noble to want her. But a few hundred million was simply too much. I couldn’t read this man at all.

“Let’s just be honest with each other.”

“In other words…?”

“What are you planning?”

“Planning? I would never…”

“Please stop taking me for a fool!”

In my anger I pointed my self-defence dagger at his stomach.

“Please stop this, Sera-sama.”

Even with a dagger pointed at him, he was still completely composed. As I thought, he was somebody from the underworld. The man reeked of danger.

“Listen. My daughter might be an idiot, but she’s a good girl who loves her parents! I won’t allow you to hurt her.”

“Hmph. I’ve been keeping silent, but the likes of you making light of…”

“Oh? So you’re finally showing your true colours. I have to say, it suits you much better than that cheap smile you had plastered on.”

Youuu!

Ortissio’s expression warped with rage. I finally got him to discard his mask. It would have been impossible to find out what he wanted as long as he kept giving me evasive answers.

It’s dangerous, but like this I’ll be able to find out what he really wants.


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Turf War – Chapter 14

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ.

Thank you for your consideration, guys!


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Chapter 14 – “Ortissio the Fiend!? We have to escape!”

“Orrr? Where are you?”

I wandered about underground for him.

I checked training rooms A to D but only found Pervert(Nielsen) and Muram. Drenched in sweat as always.

I mean, I can appreciate their efforts but they were still on their 5 kg weights, and were always wheezing after a few dozen push-ups. Still way below the fitness of an average man.

Well whatever. Try your best.

Anyway, the point is Or wasn’t there.

As for where else he might have been… Hm, the break room, or maybe the meeting room…?

I checked all the likely places but found nothing.

Phew, who on earth made this place so big, anyhow. It’s not like I had the time to search every single room.

In the end I decided to just ask somebody. I called out to a passerby.

“Ah~ You there, yes, you!”

“W-, Why if it isn’t Tilea-sama!” he answered nervously.

Gosh, this again!?

Why do all the grunt members get so nervous around me?

It’s tiring!

This is exactly why I didn’t want to ask somebody. Is this boot camp? Am I some colonel? Am I the General? Am I the bloody Demon King! Stop being so frantic around a little girl, already!

Unfortunately, my mental complaints went unheeded because the guy stood stock-still at attention. It felt like he would spend his whole life standing here without my dismissal.

God, this is why shut-in chuunibyou are…

“Um, hey, I’ve already told you guys before but can you not be so stiff around me?”

“Understood, Milady!”

How is that any less stiff.

Well whatever. I suppose I can understand. I mean, not only are they chuunibyou, they’re kind of losers too. A cute girl like me talks to them and they tense right up. I get it. Plus, Timu and I are kind of like the idols of this whole group, so maybe his heart is beating so hard he’s trying not to faint? That’s how it is with idol otaku, right?

I mean, apparently the tickets to my “The Evil God’s Splendrous Techniques” performances have a waiting list and a premium on them. And each time I perform, there are people outside the room watching in.

Actually, Dryas-kun tells me that the demand and supply is so bad that even fights have broken out…

Then again, it is Dryas-kun saying it.

Anyhow, I’m basically like some super idol to them. I’ll be frank. I know I’m hot. But having a bunch of grown men squabble over some random girl like me is kind of disturbing.

No matter how starved for entertainment they are in this world without internet there’s still a point at which I just want to ask them to grow up a bit.
Whatever. I can worry about their futures later. For now there’s something else I need to do.

“Umm, you’re… Gorhon, right?”

“No, Milady. I am Orhon, of the Evil God Army’s 1st Division.”

“Orhon… Right, right, you were Orhon, weren’t you. So Orhon, say…”

“Yes, Milady.”

“Do you have any idea where Or is?”

“Yes, Milady. I believe he is presently inspecting a treasury.”

“Treasury? That’s weeeird… I swear I just checked…”

“Commander Ortissio should be in the Treasury C, Milady.”

“Oh, oka――wha-, C!? There’s a Treasury C?”

“Yes, Milady.”

T-, Then doesn’t that mean there’s an A and a B, or maybe even a Z?

“U-Uh, say, are there other treasuries aside from the one on the right at the end of this hallway?”

“Yes, Milady. From my knowledge there should be roughly ten of them or so…”

Just how freaking rich is this family? That one treasury I do know is already packed to the brim.

Or, aren’t you like the ultimate rich boy!?

No wonder. No wonder he can piss away all that money. Geez, just how deep is his family’s wallet. I can’t imagine that they gathered all this money without dirtying their hands.

I know it sounds prejudiced but that’s how rich people are, right? I can’t let Mum meet him at this rate. It’s bad enough that he’s some spoilt rich boy, but the chuunibyou on top of that? It’s a recipe for disaster.

I’d better have a few words with him first.

“Are you busy right now, Orhon?”

“No, Milady. My commanding officer may be waiting for me but your orders are always the priority.”

“Okay. Then could you pop down to that treasury and call Or for me?”

“As you desire,” he said, before sprinting off. Mmn. I’m happy that he’s taking this so seriously, but isn’t he being a bit too serious? What if he trips. But wow, was he that happy to be speaking to me?

Gosh, these damned chuunibyou! With so many of them gathered here, I’ll never be able to relax.

This is exactly why I need to have a word with Or first. What should I do. Should I just stand next to him the whole time and translate…?

“Tilea-sama, I, Ortissio, have humbly arrived.”

Ortissio arrived while I was thinking.

“That was fast. Were you nearby, Or?”

“No, I was at the northernmost treasury. I offer my sincere apologies for the late arrival.”

“Haha…”

What ‘northernmost’! This underground empire is bigger than the damned town, you know. How could anybody come this quickly from the northernmost tip! Damned Or, trying to act cool even though you were probably just around the corner! This is why I hate dealing with chuunibyou.

“I was thinking that it’s about time for me to start learning teleportation magic as well. There’s a bit of a time loss when merely running with body reinforcement magic.”

“Or, enough about that already.”

“Understood.”

“Or, the truth is that my mum wants to meet you.”

“By your mother, you mean…?”

“She normally lives in Beruga Town but today she’s here in the Capital.”

“Beruga…?”

“Yeah, Beruga where Timu and I came from, and the person who came today is our mother. She is absolutely not Mamira. Got it?” I explained to Or before he jumped to weird conclusions.

Oi, pay attention now. You play make-believe so much that I’m worried you think we actually came from the Demonic Capital Benz or something.

“I understand. So it’s the woman that’s your temporary moth――HEBURAH!”

I smacked him with a backfist.

Hahh, I knew it…

Looks like a repeat of the time with Pervert(Nielsen).
[tln: see chapter 28~30]

It’s not like I was expecting otherwise but god this is such a headache. Maybe I should get Pervert(Nielsen) to help me. After that one time, Pervert(Nielsen) hasn’t ever been disrespectful to Mum. Maybe he’d be the right man to educate Or.

I turned to Orhon who was standing at attention.

“Aah~ Orhon, could I maybe ask you for one more favour?”

“Yes, Milady. Whatever you please.”

“Then could I trouble you to go grab Niel from the training room?”

“I understand. Then I shall go call the General Commander at once,” he said before dashing off again.

I’m counting on you, Orhon, I thought as I nodded in approval.

Pervert(Nielsen) arrived a few minutes later. Also I guess Or had finally recovered because he was standing shakily with his hand to his forehead.

“I have humbly arrived, Tilea-sama,” said Pervert(Nielsen).

“Thanks for coming, Niel. The truth is my Mum is upstairs in the shop right now.”

“Sera-sama…? Then I must make haste and greet her.”

“You’ve really matured, Niel. I’m very pleased with your attitude.”

“You humble me. Sera-sama is the shrine that summoned both Camilla-sama and your august self to this world. How could I not pay her my respects?”

Yepyep, that’s how you’re supposed to act. He was talking like a chuunibyou again, but I’m happy about the attitude behind it.

“Or, do you see how Niel is behaving? This is what you’re lacking right now. Learn from him!”

“Understood. However I cannot understand why General Commander Nielsen is behaving this way. Our guest this time is a mere human――hii!”

I placed my hand above Or’s neck. Then I mimed a chopping motion. Looks like he understood.

“Or, that’s a yelloh cardo. The next time you slip up you’re losing your head.

“M-My deepest apologies. Please, Tilea-sama, please give me another chance,” he begged with tears in his eyes.

Geez, you’re a grown man so don’t you have any shame?

“Hahh, if you’re going to cry about it then how about thinking before you act and not messing up to begin with?”

“M-My deepest apologies. W-, What did I do wrong? …General Commander, where did I err?”

“Ortissio! You lack awareness as a retainer!” he roared.

Mmn, mmn. Make sure to teach him a lesson.

“That’s right, Or. You know, in the past Niel did the same thing.”

“Indeed. It is a shame that will follow me to the grave.”

“Yeah, if I had snapped back then I might really have killed you.”

“The General Commander, executed by Tilea-sama…?” asked Ortissio.

“Yeah, almost. But in the end Niel saw the error of his ways. That’s why I forgave him.”

“I am eternally grateful for your kindness, Tilea-sama,” said Pervert(Nielsen) with a bow.

Pervert(Nielsen) might be a chuunibyou, but being polite is one of his good points.

“Or, I’m not even surprised since it’s a rich boy like you, but you really don’t have any sense. Or, you need to learn from Niel.”

“Understood! I shall meditate deeply on your words. Then, General Commander, might I trouble you to teach this humble fool?”

“Ordinarily a thought-traitor like you would meet with summary execution. However, the one who requested me to reform you was none other than Tilea-sama. I shall forge you into the perfect image of a loyal retainer.”

“As you will.”

With that, Pervert(Nielsen) started to teach him some common sense. I told Or to come up to the shop once he was done with his lesson and headed upstairs myself. I didn’t really want to keep Mum waiting. When I got there I found Mum in the shop looking amazed at the furniture.

“Mum, Or’s going to be here soon.”

“R-Right. Tilea, do you actually know how expensive all these furnishings are…?”

“Ahah! Surprised? I was too, Mum. They look pretty plain at first but to a trained eye they’re all super high class.”

“Tilea! Why are you such a carefree girl! These furnishings alone would be able to pay for four or five normal shops, you know. It’s abnormal that anybody would go this far for you.”

“Geez, it’s not what you’re thinking. Or is just the son of some powerful noble.”

“Goodness, you’re so… Do you think that powerful noble would let his son waste his money out of goodwill?”

“B-But, that’s… Or and I are really tight, and um, my cooking is…”

Mum gave a helpless look at my floundering.

Um, Mum, can you please stop looking like you want to say ‘what am I going to do with this idiot daughter of mine’?

“Huu… I’ve made up my mind, Tilea. I really must talk to this Ortissio-san.”

“It’s, you’re exaggerating, Mum. You’ll get it once you meet him. He’s really not such a big deal.”

“Enough, Tilea. More importantly I’ve seen your account book but you still haven’t shown me the promissory note.”

“Promissory note? We don’t have anything like that.”

“Haaah!? You’re hundreds of millions in debt. How can you not have signed anything! I-, I can’t believe this. What is Ortissio-san thinking?”

“Mmn, but well, a verbal contract is still a contract, right?”

“It is, but…”

Mum looked really troubled. I-, Is it really that big a deal? We’ve got the account book so it’s not like I’ll forget how much I owe.

“It’s fine, Mum. We’ve got the account book so who even needs a promissory note.”

“Hahh~ Tilea, if you don’t have the documents then you can just shirk the debt. The opposite is true as well. How are you going to protect yourself if they claim you promised something you didn’t!”

“You’re such a worrywart, Mum. We’re really relaxed with each other, you know? There’s no way he’d do something so sneaky. Really, just trust me.”

Well, to be honest the relaxed thing is kind of one-way, but if I started talking about evil god armies Mum would probably freak. The point is that he wouldn’t do that. I know what he’s like.

“J-, Just listening to you is giving me a headache…” Mum said, as her feet became a little unsteady.

“Mum, you really don’t have to worry so much.”

“Tilea, you don’t understand just how terrifying nobles can be.”

“No, no, I really do. I mean, they’re nobles, right? Leaving Or aside, nobles are like, really rich and perverted, right? Down with the bourgeoisie!” I said as I mimed a pitchfork. “Am I right?”

“Take this seriously, Tilea!”

“Owowow, Maam, sh-shtop dat!”

Mum kept pulling on my cheeks like taffy.

It’s really not a big deal. It’s Or.

But my carefree attitude was just making Mum more and more suspicious of him.

After finally letting go of my cheeks, Mum’s expression turned strained and she began to talk seriously again.

“Tilea, listen carefully to me. I haven’t always lived in Beruga Town, you know. When I was young I used to live in the Royal Capital, and I was something a bit like an adventurer for a time.”

“Wow~ Really? I had no idea. Is that when you met Dad?”

“Yes. Your Dad and I met while I was still in the Capital. It’s my happiest memory here. But it wasn’t all good things. You see…”

With that, Mum began telling me about her bad memories here. About how horrid the nobles were. About how they would smile gracefully as they trampled on the commoners. And then about all the times her friends and acquaintances had fallen victim to that.

At first I was just listening with interest. But Mum’s stories were horrid, and after just a few minutes my attitude with Or had done a complete turnaround.

This last story was completely skin-crawling. It was about a noble that people said was devil in human skin.

……

…………

……………………

“W-What happened to her?”

“She died. By the end both her body and mind were in tatters. The Fiend had targeted her family from the start. He used sweet words and false kindness to trick her… I’d never regretted my own powerlessness more.”

Mum’s expression was filled with grief. It really drove home just how painful it was for her.

And to be honest that girl’s situation had a lot in common with mine. Or’s over-investment in me. How he would always praise and adore me even though he was a high-ranking noble.

But the truth of it was…

“A-Awawawa! T-Then Or’s been tricking me? H-He’s been going after me, or m-maybe Timu?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I need to meet with him to find out. We might let go of the shop in Beruga depending.”

“T-, That can’t be… B-, Because I was being an idiot, the shop… the shop that you and Dad are so proud of… uu… guh… uuu…”

“Don’t cry, Tilea. Mum is happy as long as you two are safe. I don’t need the shop.”

“Uu, wahh, I-I’m sorry Mum… I-, I should have been… more careful…”

“Everything is going to be okay, Tilea.”

Mum stroked my head as she held me in her arms.

But while I was crying in regret…

“I have arrived, Tilea-sama. I have completed damned Ortissio’s training.”

…Pervert(Nielsen) arrived with a smug smile, and The Fiend(Or) was right behind him.


<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Turf War – Chapter 13

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ.

Thank you for your consideration, guys!


Join the Evil God Army on discord!
https://discord.gg/0uufyDAsTZXQaMz1


Chapter 13 – “Another family discussion!? Mum is coming.”

Mum was coming to the Capital today. Why so suddenly, you ask? It’s because I mentioned my financial state in one of my letters. I regularly send letters to my parents because of how worried they are about letting their kids live alone here. That’s why I write whenever I can. Some of those letters may have included my grumblings about shop management.

She replied, “Send me your account book,” so I did and then…

Apparently that had been a bad idea.

I got this letter saying that she was coming immediately, which is why Loser(Bizef) was accompanying my mum here. Mum, I might have exaggerated things a bit in the letters, but we’re really okay now. Geez, the shop is just fine. Dryas-kun’s ideas should make everything just fine.

Geez, I was trying my best not to get her to worry too…

Well whatever. It was a good chance to see Mum again so I’d be lying to say I wasn’t somewhat happy. I decided to get the business talk over with and then spend some quality bonding time with her.

Now then…

It was about time for her to arrive I think…

Before long, I heard the sound of an approaching horse carriage.

Was it her…?

I rushed out of the store to check. Alighting from the carriage was my beloved mother.

“Mum!”

Before I knew it I had rushed over to embrace her.

“It’s been a while, Tilea. Have you been well?”

“Yeah. Both Timu and I have been great.”

Fwahh, it’s Mum. It’s been a while so I’ll fawn on you! I rubbed up against Mum’s chest. Waah, it’s so warm and soft. And I missed this smell. Sniff sniff.

“H-, Hey, Tilea-chan. Sup!”

Loser(Bizef) interrupted our mother-daughter bonding.

Honestly, it’s called reading the mood! Mum and I are supposed to be catching up right now!

I glared at him. He looked flustered and confused as though he had been expecting something else.

I felt a little sorry for him. Thinking about it, he went out of his way to escort her here. I mean, he had ulterior motives for sure, but it still wouldn’t do if I forgot to say thank you.

“Bizef-san, thank you very much for accompanying my mother here.”

“No, no, it was nothing.”

“Don’t say that. I’m grateful.”

“It’s fine, I said, fine. I had some business in the Capital anyway.”

“Business?”

“Yeah, to tell the truth I’m moving here.”

“Really!?”

“Huhu, surprised? If you have any troubles, you can come find me any time.”

“Haha… I see.”

Hey, Loser(Bizef). I’ve completely seen through you. When the hell would I go looking to you for help. Trying to rely on you would make everything ten times harder.

I gazed coldly at him for a while.

“Bizef-san, I really have to thank you too. Please take care of my daughter.”

Mum started to thank him. Please, Mum, the way you worded it sounds like I’m getting married to him.

“Mu-, AHEM, Sera-san, please leave it to me. I’ll take care of Tilea-chan and Timu-chan for you.”

Oi, what the hell did he almost say just now? Are you already pretending to be my husband!?

Oh god, please stop that Mum. You’re looking at him like he’s your future son-in-law or something. He’s going to misunderstand, okay!

Loser(Bizef) was in a good mood after that. Probably because he thought he had my parents’ approval or something. He even started getting touchy-feely with me…

Bro… If you keep this misunderstanding up you’re going to meet my cestus, okay. Seriously.

Anyway, after I was done hugging Mum, she moved onto the main topic.

“Tilea, I looked at your ledger,” she said, letting out a huge sigh.

Probably because she thought I was buried in debt. Well I was, but we had a plan, okay. I tried to put her at ease.

“W-Well, it’s true that I overspent a little but it’s okay. I’ve got a plan to turn this around. Plus, you have to know that nobody can beat my cooking.”

“A-, A little!? Do you have any idea how serious this is? Why didn’t you ask me for help earlier!”

“Sorry, b-but I’ve been thinking about the pricing and like the location and all sorts of stuff and――”

“Tilea, we’re a little past that stage. It’s too late.”

“D-, Don’t be like that, come on. I know it’s going to be hard to pay back a few dozen million but…”

“A few dozen million!? Show me that account book again.”

“Eh-!? What do you…? Wasn’t it like 30 million gold…?”

“Hahh~ Tilea, you forgot a digit. Right now you’re 300 million gold in debt.”

WHA-!? I flusteredly looked over the ledger again.

Umm, so you carry this over and then…

Umm…

After agonising over the maths…

“Tilea, this calculation is wrong. This one too. And also you forgot to add the price of this fish. There’s also…”

Mum began accurately pointing out everything I did wrong. Wow, she’s not the manager of the restaurant for show.

After a lot of fixing, the result…?

300,000,000 gold in debt. Double checked.

O-, Oh my god… With this I can’t even use Dryas-kun’s plan.

A debt in the hundred millions…

Even the government would feel it if they had to bail me out.

“M-, Mum? What do I do?”

I looked at my mum tearily.

“Tilea, when you told me that you were working at a restaurant, I assumed you meant as a chef. Never had I imagined that you were doing everything from the cooking to the management…”

Mum had a good point. To begin with I thought I was going to work for Or’s dad or something. But then Or just left everything to me. He just gave me money and didn’t ask for a thing. I thought it was pretty reckless of him but then decided it might have been his way of saying he trusted me. That’s why I thought I would do it all… but then I let him down like this.

“W-What should I do? I told Or that I was just 30 million behind. Awawa, for that to have turned to 300 million…!”

“Or-san is the owner of this restaurant?”

“Mn, it’s actually Or’s… Ortissio’s relative that owns it though. Or is just the middleman who hands me the funds.”

“And this Ortissio-san provides you with money on a monthly basis? He didn’t say a thing about this debt?”

“Yeah. And far from each month, on some months I even ask for money each week but he’s never complained about it.”

“Each week…? Speaking of which, the month before last you used an absurd amount of money didn’t you.”

“The month before…? Ohh, right, right, there was this fishing boat that had just come back from the ocean with some fresh hamachi yellowtail so I kinda――”

“You silly girl! Both you and your father are such idiots whenever it comes to cooking. Listen, when you buy ingredients you need to match the needs of your customers.”

“B-But… it was so good. I couldn’t just let it go. And Or said it was okay too and gave me the money.”

After hearing my excuses, Mum held her head in her hands. Yeah, thinking back on it, even I think I was being ridiculous.

“…I’ve heard enough. Anyway, can you arrange a meeting with Ortissio-san for me?”

“Eh-!? A meeting with Or? I dunno…”

Mum isn’t used to chuunibyou like I am so will they even be able to communicate?

“Tilea, don’t think so much about it. At this point you can only leave it to me, right? Or are you telling me that you can tell him you’re 300 million in debt?”

“M-, Maybe not. But Or and I are close so…”

“Tilea, you can’t be that disrespectful to Ortissio-san. Isn’t he the son of a noble here?”

“Mn, yeah. But Or and I are close, so we don’t care about that.”

Or might be a major noble but he’s never been arrogant about it. He treats commoners like me equally. Actually, I’ve kind of ended on top.

“Hahh~ You only know the friendly people from Beluga, but the nobles of the Royal Capital are strict when it comes to their money.”

“R-, Really? Or never seems to really care that much though.”

I mean, whenever I bring up money he immediately forks some over. Not a bit of hesitance. I’m basically robbing his treasury and he doesn’t care at all.

“Tilea, it’s impossible that a noble would thoughtlessly waste money. He has a reason. I need to meet with him to find out what it is.”

“That’s impossible. Mum, Ortissio doesn’t scheme like that.”

I mean, I’ve never met a more stupidly honest person. If I found out somebody like that was actually a schemer I don’t think I’d be able to trust other people anymore.

“Tilea, have you never thought it strange? It’s unnatural that somebody would just hand you this much money. Not only that, but to leave the entire store to somebody with zero experience like yourself…”

“That’s because he saw through my skill in cooking and――”

“It’s true that you inherited your dad’s talent. I’d even call you a first class cook. But leaving the entire store for you to manage would be unthinkable. From what I’ve heard, he’s basically left everything up to you these last few months, hasn’t he. Then in that case it wouldn’t be strange to think that he’s bankrupting you on purpose. To being with, it’s unthinkable that he suddenly prepared a store for you.”

“Like I said, Or and I are close――”

“Tilea, what do you mean by Close? Don’t tell me you’ve become his mistress or something?”

GAHOH-!

I choked on my drink. Me, Or’s mistress? Don’t even joke about that.

“M-, Mum, don’t suddenly say something so shocking. I’m not that cheap, okay.”

“I know. I don’t think you’d do that either. But I can’t explain this situation any other way.”

Mum was getting agitated. I mean, looking at this objectively I can kind of see her point. You wouldn’t just hand over your shop to some random girl you met on the streets. No matter how great my cooking was, it was completely unnatural.

In other words, Mum was suspicious of Or. Suspicious that he was handing out all this money because he had his eye on me…

But I couldn’t tell her the truth either. That Or prepared the restaurant as consolation for trying to assault me.

Ahhh, what do I do. I don’t think I can fool Mum. But if I told the truth it would make her suspect him even more…

“That’s why I want you to arrange a meeting, Tilea. I’ll make sure to find out the truth for you.”

I don’t think she was giving me any other option. Mum was being really adamant about it.

Can’t be helped.

I decided to just arrange the meeting. After that I’d just deal with whatever happened.

Or, no matter what you do, don’t start trouble with my Mum.

Lost in my thoughts, I headed underground to look for Or.


<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Turf War – Chapter 12

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ.

Thank you for your consideration, guys!


Join the Evil God Army on discord!
https://discord.gg/0uufyDAsTZXQaMz1


Sorry about the translation slow-down again. I suddenly got called into a casual job with only 2 days notice, which I’ll be working until Christmas. I don’t spend that long each day on it but it forces me to wake up before 4AM meaning that I’m tired for the rest of the day which in turn makes it rather difficult for the right words to come to me when translating. I have trouble falling asleep early, you see.

That’s more or less what’s causing the slow-down – actually slow translating.


Chapter 12 – Edim and the Truth Behind the Meeting

Can I get any luckier…?

I was allowed to become the faithful servant to both Tilea-sama and Camilla-sama. I was allowed to join the Evil God Army at its bottom. And when I became a vampire, a demon, I finally started to wonder.

Why are humans so frail…?

Even the Royal Capital’s Public Safety Force, led by Remilia and praised as the strongest were nothing more than infants.

Ahaha, I can’t stop the smiles. My mana has already exceeded the ten thousand mark. A number that would have been unimaginable to me back when I was human. Not only that but I’ve finished vampirising all the key members of the city. The royal family, the Guild, the Magic Academy – all of them just waiting for my single command to move as I please.

If only she desires it, they are ready to act as the spearhead for Tilea-sama’s grand plan to conquer the world.

I should report the completion of the vampirisation mission at the next war council. Might Camilla-sama praise me? Or will she kick and step on me and tell me not to get proud of something so little? All I know is that I’d be overjoyed with either.

While I was enjoying my delusions, Nielsen-sama suddenly rushed past me. I’ve never seen him look so frantic.

Did something happen?

“Nielsen-sama?” I called out to him.

He stopped to turn at me.

“Ah, Edim. We will be holding a war council today. Report immediately to the location.”

“A war council, Sir?”

“Indeed. Tilea-sama called for it. Pay attention.”

“I understand.”

“Mn. Go at once. I will inform the others.”

With that, he continued his sprint down the hallway.

Tilea-sama attending a meeting!?

This hasn’t happened even once before…

I made haste with a nervous expression. I entered the meeting room to find a completely different atmosphere than normal. It was natural considering who was standing there. The tension was unreal.

After some nervous waiting, everybody was finally here.

“Please sit,” said Tilea-sama, and everybody took a seat.

What’s this all about?

Is it finally time for Tilea-sama herself to make her move on the world? If so, then I can finally see Camilla-sama and Tilea-sama’s greatness from up close!

What fortune!

Just imagining the two of them trampling the humans was giving me the shivers.

But unexpectedly, the subject matter at hand was…

“Do something about the restaurant’s debt!”

Tilea-sama…

To be honest it was a complete let-down.

Why is Tilea-sama still so obsessed about that restaurant? Is it really something so important that we needed to suspend the expedition to the Manafint Condeferation? What does everybody else think about this?

I looked around at the attending leadership.

Eh-!? Everybody there was nodding along with serious expressions. They even started vigorously discussing ideas. What’s going on? Also, Ortissio-sama was being criticised as usual.

Eventually Dryas-sama finally spoke, and his words filled me with shame.

Of course. The food being served in that restaurant was made by Tilea-sama herself. That the restaurant was in the red is nothing less than a slap in the face to her. An insult impossible to stomach. This certainly was a matter of utmost importance. Mere food or not, any loss on Tilea-sama’s part was absolutely unacceptable.

Nielsen-sama felt the same way. He basically spoke my mind. Nobody else spoke up, but they nodded along in agreement.

But Nielsen-sama’s words of loyalty were met with a projectile of incredible speeds.

I-, I think that may have crossed Mach 1…

I only heard the sound of the throw after it passed. Nielsen-sama was knocked down without a struggle.

W-What power!

It could have blown over dozens of your average demons. It’s only because it was Nielsen-sama that he survived. Everyone else was dumbstruck.

Later on when Tilea-sama explained her anger, my back was drenched in cold sweat.

I should have realised. Tilea-sama was presently angry exactly because of the issue of cooking.
I looked at Nielsen-sama carefully to warn myself of what would happen if I wasn’t careful with my words.

S-Still, thank goodness…

I was this close to saying the same thing as he did. My brains would have been splattered across the wall.

Anyway, I need to think of some kind of plan. Tilea-sama’s name is riding on this.

I frantically used my head.

I know! There is something I can do! I can just turn all of the foolish humans into my vampires. I’ll vampirise all the humans and then order them to go to the restaurant. That way we’ll get heaps of customers, and Tilea-sama’s restaurant will be number one too.

I voiced my suggestion to Tilea-sama.

But instead she became enraged anyway and asked me if I was looking down on her cooking.

A chill ran down my spine――

Why didn’t you realise, Edim!

I was essentially looking down on Tilea-sama. She glared angrily at me.

Uu, this is the power of an absolute conqueror. What pressure…

Even though I knew the normal, kind Tilea-sama, I couldn’t keep my legs from trembling or my teeth from clattering.

A-, Anyway I have to beg for forgiveness! I frantically began to apologise. Maybe she could tell I was being sincere because I somehow got her to forgive me.

Phew, I lost a few years off my life with that.

It’s easy to forget because of how kind she usually is, but Tilea-sama’s power is bottomless. Truly the Evil God. I’d better pay attention to my words and actions from now on. Particularly when it comes to food.

Also, I’ve been wondering…

What did she mean about throwing a kukanomi at me? And thinking about it, Tilea-sama always tries to stop me from eating kukanomi. She says stuff like “It’s your weakpoint, so you can’t,” or “Stay away from the church.”

What do those have to do with each other?

I don’t understand. Tilea-sama’s thoughts are still unfathomable as always.

But well, thinking about it any further would be insolence.

As a servant I should avoid trying to pry into my master’s thoughts too deeply. No matter what happens, to continue serving faithfully is what a truly loyal retainer is.


<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Turf War – Chapter 11

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ.

Thank you for your consideration, guys!


Join the Evil God Army on discord!
https://discord.gg/0uufyDAsTZXQaMz1


I intend to translate more these next few weeks. The brainwashing of the Clinton News Network caused me to focus my time on other things, but now that Trump has freed me I will dedicate myself to Making Novels Great Again.


Chapter 11 – “Urgent meeting! We need to get this store going again!”

An emergency meeting was being held!

Because of my decision as the generalissimo, the entire Evil God Army was in chaos. I’m not sure what exactly Pervert(Nielsen) said to the others but the officers of the Evil God Army all rushed into the meeting room.

Did everyone want to play with me that badly?

Technically I’m the leader of this whole group, but since coming to the Capital I haven’t joined a meeting even once. I guess it can’t be helped that they’re so excited. Ah, the training from the other day was a different matter of course.

Still, sorry to all these guys, but right now isn’t the time for games. We can’t always be shouting “Dispatch the troops!” and “Leave nobody alive!” can we. The store’s existence depends on this. I hope they’ll take this seriously.

Just the lunch coupons aren’t enough. I need other ideas besides――so fast!?

In just the short while that I was thinking to myself, the entirety of the EGA’s leadership lined up in front of me. It hadn’t even been five minutes yet. Why is it that you guys are only this enthusiastic when it comes to games. Well, sorry to disappoint you though.

At any rate, they were all standing there. Waiting for my orders, presumably. And they were all looking expectantly at me too. I’ll bet they were imagining it was time for me to shout “Spread our banner across the lands!” or something.

Originally Timu and the others would invite me to the war councils. I was so busy with the store though, that I never had time for that. That’s why I told them that I would entrust them with everything instead. Right now Timu was looking at me with this face like, ‘finally, Oneesama wants to play’.

I’m sorry, Timu. Right now your Oneechan is in a huge pinch. If she screws this up it’s bankruptcy. We’ll invade the Manamana country some other time, okay?

“Everyone, please sit.”

“”Milady,”” they acknowledged together.

It feels a bit like a real army.

“Ahem. I’ve called you all here today to discuss the matter of the store on the surface.”

“Might you be referring to the restaurant that you run, Tilea-sama?”

“That’s right. So you see, right now I’m kind of in a bit of a pickle. The place is about to shut down, so I’d like some ideas on how to get out of this mess.”

Everyone’s eyes were wide. It must have felt really out of the blue for them.

“Tilea-sama, with all due respect, I was led to believe that Ortissio was regularly supplying you money, but…”

“That’s true, but it brings me shame to say that I’m not making a profit.”

Hearing it come out of my own mouth made me hang my head. He gave me that much money and I’m still in the red.

“Ortissio! Tilea-sama is obviously upset and yet you withhold money!?”

“I-I dare not. I have already told Tilea-sama that it would be no problem to increase the amount of money.”

“I care not for your excuses, Ortissio. You have wasted Oneesama’s time. I trust you are prepared for the consequences.”

“Hii…! B-But Tilea-sama was…”

Whoa whoa. How does it make any sense to blame Ortissio for this? I’m the one responsible.

“C’mon guys, enough of that. Or isn’t in the wrong here. This isn’t a problem about how much money he gives me. It’s true that his money is what’s been keeping it afloat so far, but what I really want to know is why we’re not turning a profit.”

“I understand now, Tilea-sama. In other words, this is a matter of pride.”

Dryas-kun is a smart cookie as always. That’s exactly right. I can’t just keep taking advantage of Or’s money here. And to begin with, it’s really weird that my food isn’t making money.

“Sharp as always, Dryas-kun. You understand my feelings.”

“I am honoured.”

“That’s right. To be frank, I have complete faith in my abilities as a cook. It’s impossible for me to be getting so few customers.”

“It is incomprehensible, Oneesama. How could anybody not understand the value of the best food in history.”

“Yupyup, I’m definitely better than our competitors.”

Even I have enough sense to scout out our rivals. I went to the more bustling restaurants in the Capital to try their food, and I was one or two levels higher than everyone out there. I can’t say they were bad. It’s just that they were B-rank cooks at best.

“Mere cooking though it may be, it is unacceptable for anybody to defeat Tilea-sama,” Pervert(Niel) exclaimed indignantly. It seems like agreement at first but…

Hey, Pervert(Niel). What did you say just now? MERE COOKING!?

You’re supposed to be an employee at our restaurant! What the fuck are you saying!?

Pervert(Niel) is my subordinate, okay? Not just in some make-believe army, but in an honest to god work environment Pervert(Niel) is my subordinate. But despite that, despite being in the culinary industry, he goes and spouts outrageous crap like that. Is that how an employee is supposed to act.

“Niel!”

“Milady.”

“Minus ten points!”

“HEBSH-!”

I pegged a pencil-thing hard at him, like a teacher throwing chalk at her bad student.

Pervert(Nielsen) staggered a bit before collapsing. Guess it was a critical hit. He was just laying there.

Hm, did I take things a bit far? Ah, that’s no good. No matter how badly the management of the store is going, it’s never an excuse to throw things at people.

“Sorry, Niel. Are you okay?”

“Uguhg. Hahh, hahh, I-, I am f-fine…”

He put up a strong front but his legs were still trembling. Ah geez, I shouldn’t have used violence on somebody so fragile. Let’s wait for him to recover.

A few minutes later…

Pervert(Nielsen) was finally able to sit back in his chair.

“You okay now, Niel?”

“There is no issue, Milady. So what mistake did I make?”

What mistake!? You don’t even understand!? Hahh~ This guy really lacks self-awareness about his job at Berum Restaurant.

“Niel. You’re my subordinate. DUU YUU ANDASTAN?”

“Certainly. I am your faithful servant, Tilea-sama.”

“Then be a bit more aware of that fact. You’re working at my restaurant, and yet you’d say something like ‘mere food’. If our employees aren’t taking their jobs seriously, do you really think we can turn this store around!”

“M-, My deepest apologies. My words certainly were counter to your desires.”

“Huu~ Think about this carefully next time, okay?”

“As you wish.”

I sighed.

Does anybody else have any ideas?

I looked around.

Mn? Edim looked like she was fidgeting for some reason.

Before long…

“U-, Umm, Tilea-sama.”

“My, Edim. Do you have anything to say?”

“Yes. What if I turned all the humans into my kin and ordered them to come to the restaurant?”

Edim, please don’t say such scary things so casually. I hope this is a joke, but when it comes to Edim it’s a terrifyingly real possibility.
And she’s hurt my pride by saying something like that.

“Edim, are you looking down on me?”

“Never, I would never do such a thing.”

“You know, by suggesting a plan to force people to come you’re basically saying that my cooking isn’t enough to do it! Do you get that?

“Honestly, even you’re saying stupid things like Niel. Next time I’ll hit you with a kukanomi, okay?”

“Y-Yes…”

After that, Timu and the others continued suggesting violent and outrageous plans. One guy even suggested massacring the ‘foolish townsfolk who fail to understand the greatness of (my) cooking!’

Huu, I swear these guys have a one-track mind…

Is it actually impossible to talk seriously with a chuunibyou? I can’t believe I’m wondering this just now.

“Hey, does anybody have any serious ideas?”

“Tilea-sama, may I?” asked the previously silent Dryas as he raised a hand.

The star of the show is finally here.

“Sure, sure. Tell me what you’ve got.”

“Milady. In my humble opinion, your cooking is perfection itself. The deficit the restaurant is experiencing has another cause. The position of the store, the lack of advertising, and finally the pricing of the menu appear to be the problems.”

As expected of Dryas-kun, finally a serious answer. A chuunibyou though you may be, you’ve really shown how different you are to the others.

“Mn, mn, continue.”

“Yes, Milady. This restaurant is located at the very end of Western Street, in a place beyond notice. Furthermore, due to the lack of advertisement, I presume that many have not even heard of its existence.”

“I see. I guess this is pretty out of the way.”

“Finally, our position means that few pedestrians on Western Street would come as far as here. They tend to congregate towards the centre.”

Could it mean that he wants us to move the store? But that’s impossible. There’s the issue of money for one thing, but Or and Edim are still wanted suspects. We need the underground housing because they need to lay low until the heat dies down.”

“But moving is impossible, Dryas-kun.”

“Indeed. This is the best position to avoid revealing our headquarters. Moving the store would be undesirable.”

“I thought so too. Then I guess we just have to try harder with advertising? Also, you said there was an issue with the pricing?”

“Yes. To put it simply, the prices are entirely too cheap. Far from making a profit, we struggle to even break even.”

“I thought the ingredients would have been cheaper, but they were so expensive that I didn’t think any customers would come. That’s why I thought I’d focus on making a lot of small profits instead, but…”

“Tilea-sama, what if we change the target demographic to the wealthy? At this pricing, even a thousand customers a day would not bring a profit.”

“I-IT’S THAT BAD!? Mmmn, but wringing the rich for their money is a bit… I’d prefer it if more people could taste my cooking.”

“I understand. Everything is for the sake of your desires. In that case, we will adjust the prices more conservatively and order Edim’s kin to promote the store.”

“I see! GUDDO AIDEA!”

I knew I was right to believe in him. Next time I should just talk alone with him. That way I won’t waste so much time.

“Beyond that, we can shave down the cost of the ingredients a little, and order the troops to gather ingredients.”

“Yeah, I guess there are the middleman fees if we keep buying from the market, huh.”

If we were on the internet I’d be spamming the Like button right now.

“In that case the ingredients shall be gathered by sending the Second Division on expeditions.”

“W-Wait a moment. My Second Division has been working non-stop at suppressing the neighbouring settlements. It would be impossible to take on the job of ingredient gathering as well,” Or interjected.

He tried to convey just how busy he was but Dryas-kun was having none of it.

“Enough whining! Ortissio, this is not a request. As Chief of General Staff I am ordering you to do so.”

“H-, However…”

“Ortissio, I thought you were supposed to be demonstrating your loyalty!” roared Pervert(Nielsen).

“Ortissio, know that if you continue your excuses I will personally tear your mouth off,” added Timu.

You guys are a bit too harsh…

“Y-Yes, h-hic, I un-understand…  Then I sh-shall… hic, accept this… mission.”

Or was really starting to cry now. Aah, not this again. I’ve told them so many times to stop picking on Or already…

“That’s enough, everyone.”

“H-However, damned Ortissio is being too――”

“Enough!”

Everyone went silent, and Or looked up at me with his tear-stained face.

“H-, Hic, T-Tilea-sama…”

“Or, I know that you take the occasional trip out of the capital. When you’re out there, if you happen to come across any good ingredients then I’d like it if you brought them back with you.”

“Hic, i-ingredients…?”

“Mn, if you say it’s impossible, then I won’t force you. We’re done discussing it, and I won’t let anybody say otherwise.”

“Tilea-sama… Just how far does your compassion and greatness go…”

“Huhu, your flattery is really over-the-top.”

“Not at all. I am not praising you enough.”

With that, Or was back to normal. I guess he’s done crying.

“So Or, think you can do it?”

“Yes, Milady! I, lowly Ortissio, profoundly apologise for complaining over merely accepting two tasks. Please leave it to me. I shall accomplish this without fail.”

“Okay. I’ll look forward to it then. Ah, but enough about the subjugation of the villages or whatever. You don’t need to feel pressured over something like that.”

“Please be at ease. I will prioritise the gathering of ingredients. The likes of those settlements will not take up our time. If it takes too long then we can simply exterminate them all.”

“I-, I see… Don’t go too crazy with your games, okay?”

“Huhu, games indeed. I understand. I will calmly deal with it all.”


<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Turf War – Chapter 10

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ.

Thank you for your consideration, guys!


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Chapter 10 – “We’re in danger of bankruptcy at this rate.”

GYABON! T-, This month is in the red as well…

I collapsed onto my table in shock.

Ever since “Restaurant Berum – Capital Branch” has opened, not once have we ever made a profit.

Why? Why is this happening? Our food isn’t any worse than the other restaurants. No, actually we could even brag that we’re two ranks above everyone else. But then why aren’t we making money?

Isn’t it weird? We get a decent amount of customers too…

Or could it be that just this amount isn’t enough?

This is impossible. I’m a total amateur in terms of management. I can’t tell what’s happening at all. After all, I’ve never had to think about the management side of things before. Instead of wasting my life being a NEET I should’ve picked up some classes in administration damn it!

Even back home, it was Dad and I doing the cooking, with Mum doing all the management so I don’t have any of the expertise at all.

But does that really have to mean that our restaurant makes such a huge loss?

I glared at my account book. Written in red ink, the numbers ‘30,000,000 gold’ stared back at me.

Wife, it’s 30,000,000 gold! 30,000,000 gold!

Haha, that’s enough of a debt to crush two or three small shops. Normally we’d have to declare bankruptcy. We’re only holding on because Or keeps endlessly contributing money. If he ever stops, our shop would be done for in an instant. I’d have nothing but debt left.

Hahh~ Will Or finally snap when I tell him we’re in the red again?

Or already contributed everything to the restaurant’s start-up. Even if it’s reparations for when he attacked me, this much is still way pushing it. I’m really taking it all.

Alright. Time to come up with a plan to turn this around without relying on Or anymore.

-poku poku poku… ching!-

The answer has come to me… Quite frankly, it’s impossible. It’s absolutely impossible to come up with some plan to pay back thirty million gold.

Hahh~ I’m just a huge failure of a manager. If I went on that Tigers’ Den show, I’d be done for sure. “You’re looking down on society!” they’d yell at me, “You’ve never seriously worked once in your life, have you?” they’d say at me…

But anyway, for this month at least, I’ll just have to rely on Or’s pity.

Having decided that, I headed down into the Evil God Army’s secret hideout.

I wonder where Or is.

With brisk steps, I wandered the hallways of the underground.

And then… There he is.

Or was whole-heartedly training in Gravity Room C. Incidentally, there are four training rooms in this underground empire, ranked from A to D in terms of gravitational strength. According to Timu, Gravity Room A is 100G’s, and right now it’s being used exclusively by Timu. Gravity Room B is 50G’s and is being used by only Pervert(Nielsen) and Dryas-kun. Gravity Room C is 30G’s and is where all the other leaders are training.

Geez, these guys sure love this kind of stuff. I tried out the other gravity rooms myself and they really did feel heavier. Only barely though.

Apparently Timu analysed my Pettanko spell and applied it to each of the rooms. Honestly, why are these guys so fixated on chuunibyou. Thanks to that, there’s always somebody in there.

As I mentioned, Or was in Gravity Room C. It felt just a little heavier in there. I could only barely feel it. But it’s nice, having just a little extra weight to train.

Training in an enhanced gravity environment…

Honestly an opportunity that would make any chuunibyou drool. Or was training hard in the 30 times(lol) gravity room just like some manga character.

I walked towards him as he continued his sit-ups. When he noticed me coming, he immediately stood up and ran over to me though.

“Why if it isn’t Tilea-sama.”

“Sorry for disturbing you during your training.”

“Not at all, I was just about finished.”

How do I break this to him? I’m telling him about a debt, so I can’t mess this up.

“Aahh~ Ortissio-san. There is a large favour that I would like to ask of you.”

“Whatever you need,” smiled Or as he wiped his sweat down.

I’m sorry, Or. What I’m about to say will destroy that smile of yours.

“The truth is… It is very difficult to say this, but the truth is that I am in a rather difficult position.

“Tilea-sama, there is no need to mince words with the likes of me. Please stop. Whatever problems you may face, I, the lowly Ortissio, will put my life on the line to help you.”

I suppose he has a point. It’s weird if I suddenly change the way I speak. I suppose you would be suspicious if a friend you’re casual with suddenly begins talking so politely. This is bad. Did I make a mistake in the way I started this conversation? Maybe it would have been better to just been straight with him.

Okay. Forget about being subtle about it. I’ll just tell him.

“Ahh~ Or, so, you know that shop I’m managing upstairs?”

“Yes.”

“Teheh♪ I’m in the red again this month. And so, please lend me more money!”

Was I too casual about it? I tried sounding casual and friendly as usual. Did it work? Or looked completely stunned for some reason.

“Tilea-sama, when you said you were in a difficult position I thought it would be a bit more serious. I understand. I will provide funds as usual.”

Eh? What’s with his attitude? Is that fine? I’m going to take advantage of you like this. No matter how rich your dad is, if you keep using his money like this he won’t be happy about it…

“Is something the matter, Tilea-sama? Will the usual amount be insufficient? In that case, I will provide even…”

“Ahh~ Wait, wait! Is this really okay? To be blunt, I’ve borrowed tens of millions of gold from you already, you know.”

“Tilea-sama, I must sincerely apologise. I have only given you some tens of millions of gold…? In that case I must increase the――”

“NOOOOOOO! That’s not it! D-Don’t you realise that this much debt would be enough to crush a normal shop? It pains me to say this but are you really going keep investing in a horrible manager like me!?”

Perhaps he finally understood how serious this was after my shouting because Or’s expression turned meek. Yeah. Please think about this carefully. You might really throw away your family’s fortune at this rate.

“In other words, you are lamenting the loss of capital for our Evil God Army. Correct, Tilea-sama?”

“W-Well, I suppose if you express it the way you guys do, that’s right. Because of my management of the shop, we’ve made a loss of 30,000,000 gold.”

“Please be at ease. Just that much is nothing much. It will have no effect on the operations of our Evil God Army.”

This son of a major noble family smiled brightly at me. Oi, oi, thirty million gold is “nothing much”? Just how damned rich are you.

“T-, Then, you’ll provide money as well, this month?”

“Why of course. I could double the amount if it pleases you. And besides, everything in this world belongs to you to begin with, Tilea-sama. Please do not be so worried and just spend as you please.”

Oi, oi, are you telling me to spend your family’s fortune as I please? Is this Pretty Woman or something? I’m seriously going to run into a shop and buy “everything from here to here“, okay.

“Aah~ Then, if I asked you for a hundred million gold…?”

“I would prepare it at once.”

Oi, this guy just replied without a millimetre of hesitation, you know.

Why is this guy going so far for me…?

-gasp!- Don’t tell me!

“Say, Or, could it be that you’ve fallen for me?”

Nothing would make me guiltier. After all, my heart already belongs to Remilia-san. Taking money from somebody you’ll never love back is just horrible.

Tell me, Or. What’s your answer.

“Of course I have. The depths of your mighty power is like an unfathomable abyss, and each day I tremble with delight at having the opportunity to serve one as sublime as you.”

Fumu, then I guess this is like the relationship between Pervert(Nielsen) and Timu. Rather than liking me romantically, I’m more like a member of an idol group. You know, in my past life I heard about diehard fans buying several hundred CDs of their favourite idol. But man, as a rich noble, the scale that Or operates on is in a whole other league.

In the end, it seems that the debt I was wracking my brains over was nothing much to Or. In that case, maybe it would be fine to just keep relying on him――wai-, as if it would be fine!

*妹*

At this rate Or is going to become bankrupt because of me. It’s not like the money just grows on trees. I’m not a sinful woman, okay. I’m happy that he’s helping me with money, but at this rate I’m just going to send him straight down the path of bankruptcy. No matter how much he spoils Or and how much he loves Or, even Or’s dad would have to disown him at that point.

“Or, money isn’t something that you can just waste. Please stop thinking that you can just use it however you wish. That way of thinking will ruin you one day.”

“M-, My deepest apologies. Then in that case, shall we destroy the restaurant upstairs to reduce the expenditure of our army?”

GABOH-! O-, Oh no…

That’s putting the cart before the horse then. I want to be a cook in the Royal Capital. Tilea, haven’t you forgotten the goal here? I got too carried away because of how ridiculous Or’s money sense was, but I originally came here to borrow money off of him. There was no need to lecture him on how to spend his money.

“Or, that would trouble me.”

“I see. Since cooking is your hobby, it would not do at all to destroy the restaurant.”

“Wha-!? What did you say just now?”

“Oh, as I said, it would not do to destroy the restaurant.”

“No, before that.”

“Since cooking is your hobby――HAGUH-, GUWAAHH!”

Before I knew it, I had Or’s face in a vicegrip. I was so angry that I was just squeezing it. Or screamed as his head creaked.

Or was groaning in pain…

But I won’t forgive him! He said that my cooking was just a hobby! A professional like me, as a hobby!?

“Or! Are you trying to say that I’m just some beginner in your eyes?”

“GAh, hah, n-never would I, say such a thing… I-, I simply, hahh, hah, wanted to say, that even busy on your road to conquest, hahh, you had even reached such, a level on the side――HOGGYAHH!”

“Or! Are you trying to say that I’m just cooking to kill time on the side?”

His words poured more oil onto the fire, and my iron claw grew tighter. Or ended up spasming into unconsciousness.

Fumu, did I go a bit far? Since he made light of my cook’s spirit the blood kinda rushed to my head.

But this is a grave situation. Or probably thought of me as just some amateur because the shop is in the red all the time. It’s obvious that some hobbyist amateur is making a loss, he thinks.

Could it be that all the other leaders see me the same way? If that’s the case it’s, it’s unforgivable! You’ve wounded my pride.

If that’s how it is, then I need to make a profit no matter what.

I’ll immediately form a plan and…

I know! Don’t I have a strategist for these things. I have a very reliable wise general, don’t I. Why didn’t I think to ask him for advice first. I’ll go ask him now!

After laying Or onto the ground, I immediately went to look for Dryas-kun.

Ummm, Dryas-kun is…?

I searched through the needlessly large underground empire. When I asked a passerby, I was told that he was in the conference room.

“Dryas-ku~n, heeeeelp meeeee~”

I quickly trotted into the room.

The very moment I arrived, I threw the door open. Inside were Dryas-kun, Timu, and Pervert(Nielsen) discussing something or other.

Oh!? So these guys were here too. Perfect. I’ll ask these two what they think as well. As research, it’s better to ask for other opinions. Maybe I should ask the other leaders what they think too…

I’ll have the three of them stop their discussions and gather the rest of the leaders. I mean, these three are probably just playing around anyway.

Ah!? Wait, hang on. That might not necessarily be true. What if they’re talking about Edim? In that case, that takes precedence over the shop.

“Sorry for disturbing you during your discussion, you three.”

“”Why if it isn’t Tilea-sama.””

“Umm~ Are you guys talking about Edim?”

“No, we were adjusting the deployment of troops on expedition to the Manafint Confederation.”

Yup, just playing. Geez, their life sure is relaxing~ I’m completely envious. Even though I’m worrying about the restaurant, and even had that terrifying meeting with Remilia-san and the others…

And what do they mean deployment? Have they started playing something like military airsoft? It sounds interesting so normally I’d ask about it, but right now isn’t the time for that. My pride as a chef is on the line here.

“Um, let’s stop talking about manawhatchits for a moment. I have a pressing matter to discuss. Could you call all the leaders here?”

“Understood. I shall immediately convene them,”

said Pervert(Nielsen) before leaving the room.

“It’s rare for you to bring something up yourself, Tilea-sama.”

“Yeah. I kinda need to borrow your heads for a little bit…”

“If you have any problems, Oneesama, I shall spare no efforts to aide you.”

Timu’s words were reassuring. Yep, yep, three heads are better than one. It was a much better idea to call the leaders here instead of agonising by myself.

Well, my star of hope is still Dryas-kun, though. Still, I’ll be making suggestions too. Like um, how about lunchtime special coupons?


If I went on that Tigers’ Den show, I’d be done for sure.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragons%27_Den


<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Turf War – Chapter 9

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ.

Thank you for your consideration, guys!


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Chapter 9 – “Awawawa, being a spy is impossible for me.”

I wiped down the maybell tea with a handkerchief.

Oh crap, the shock made me spurt stuff everywhere.

Because the maybell tea went spraying everywhere, everybody frowned at me. Worst was Raiden-san who was sitting opposite me. I got it all over him, and he’s still glaring now.

Hii, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Actually, it’s a bishoujo’s spit, so please think of it as a reward.

“What happened, Tilea?” asked Remilia with worry.

“S-, Sorry. I was just so shocked when I heard about how they were taking over the country.”

“Honestly,” grumbled a man, “This is why commoners are…”

The people around me all looked at me with disappointment.

“A… haha… It accidentally went down my windpipe.”

“Well, Tilea’s shock was hardly unreasonable,” added Remilia.

“U-, Umm, could it be your imagination? I mean, people might just be tense because they were there during the raid.”

“No, if you can tell, you can tell. At a glance they seem like the same people, but they’re different people.”

Well, yeah. I mean, all these people that used to be “I LOVE ARCUDAS!” turned into “Hahh, hahh, Edim-tan, you’re the best♪”

Anyone who knew them would definitely think of them as different people. But I can’t give up now. It’s Edim’s, my, and Timu’s lifestyle at stake here.

“R-, Really? People turning into demons? N-, No way! I haven’t noticed at all.”

“That’s because you’re one of the townspeople. I do not suppose the demons have infiltrated the masses yet.”

“It is just as Remilia-sama says. The Captain was always so passionate about hunting down the remaining demons, but now he’s studdenly stopped it all? He even harshly punished the people that protested! It’s too strange!”

“Yeah. The Guild suddenly stopped handing out demon subjugation missions too. It’s supposed to be the most important thing right now. There’s definitely something fishy going on with the management!”

The people around me began strongly voicing their opinions. It’s probably true that the leaders have stopped the search for demons, but that’s all for Edim’s sake. They’re not trying to take over the country, or conquer the world or anything, okay? They just want to let Edim live life as a normal girl.

But it’s not like I can say that. If I did, these people would definitely try and kill her. In other words, I have to find a good explanation for what’s been happening.

“U-, Umm, this is just the humble opinion of a normal person but…”

“Mn? Tilea, if you have something to say, then do not hold back. Just say it.”

“Y-, Yes. Could it be that the leaders have all stopped the demon hunts because they don’t want any more losses? During the raid, everyone saw just how abnormally powerful the demons were.”

“Wha-, YOU! Are you looking down on the National Army! My regiment aren’t weaklings who would bow to the demons!”

“Yeah! The old Captain would never have done something so cowardly! He’s a completely different person.”

“H-, However, you guys can only say that because you weren’t there. It wouldn’t be strange for people to change their opinion if they had been there personally.”

“Y-, YOU! A mere informant dares to look down on us!”

Uwah, o-, oh no. Did I go a little too far?

All these soldiers were red in the face from their anger. It looks like they won’t listen. They weren’t there during the attack. Should I try turning to Remilia-san?

“U-, Umm, what do you think, Remilia-san?”

“Well, you may have a point, Tilea. It is true that the demons were vastly more powerful than we were. It is certainly possible that the Guildmaster and Royal Family would take a meeker attitude after that.”

“T-, That can’t be, Remilia-sama…”

Everyone was shocked.

“But it is the truth that vampires have infiltrated the Public Safety Force. And this is simply my instinct as a warrior, but I suspect that the top brass aren’t moving for the sake of the country. They are working for some other purpose.”

As expected of Remilia-san. That’s correct. They’re working for their master’s, Edim’s, sake.

“In that case, we must not tarry, Remilia-sama. We must immediately seek out the mastermind behind them and kill them!”

“Exactly! If we don’t fix things now, this country is doomed.”

“I understand your opinions,” said Remilia. “In that case, we will observe those who are suspicious, and wait for them to contact their puppetmaster. We then catch them all together.”

T-, This is so bad. I can’t turn back the flow of things. Everyone was vocally agreeing with her. At this rate the Vampire Destruction Plan is going to be a thing.

Think, Tilea! You have to convince them right now!

I took a deep breath.

And then…

“I-, I OBJECTTTT!”

My sudden scream drew their attention.

“What’s the matter, Tilea?”

“I-I! I don’t think you should be spending time on this!”

“What are you saying!” shouted a man, “An amateur should butt out!”

“Yeah!” added another, “You’re speaking out of place, you mere informant!”

I thought this would happen. It was a storm of booing. But Remilia stopped them with one hand, and looked right at me.

“Tilea. For what reason are you objecting?”

“I, I just can’t believe that the demons are taking over. You said it yourself that it was just intuition, and if you have time to be spending on dubious things like that, I think you should be focusing it on improving the public order and maintaining the infrastructure.”

“You! Are you still saying that you don’t believe us!”

“Yeah! If the damned demons take over our country, you think there’s going to be any infrastructure left to maintain!”

“B-, But, the public order has really gotten bad. There are burglars all over the place… Everyone is spending their days anxiously.”

“You should solve trifling things like that on your own. We’re busy with what really matters.”

“Exactly. If you’re worried about safety, why not just hire some guards from the guild?”

“H-, How can you say that… Do you know just how much money it would cost to do that! We’d all go bankrupt. And that’s even assuming we can trust the people we hire. If we hire somebody we can’t trust, we’d have to spend every night afraid of being attacked!”

“It’s a small sacrifice for a great cause. Our country is on the brink. If the country falls, then it’s putting the cart before the horse.”

“W-, What are you saying! What are you going to do if the people are doomed first!”

“Are you mocking the country!”

Oh no. All the ultranationalists are fired up now. They started advancing on me like they were going to attack.

Save me Remilia-sa――hang on, Remilia-san is advancing too?

“Remilia-sama, this girl is being much too arrogant towards the nation. What will we do?”

“Remilia-sama, it might be better to teach her a few manners.”

Oh my god, the ultranationalists are trying to stir her up.

Remilia-san, you wouldn’t use violence on a friend, right? I believe in you.

I gave a trusting, or rather, a begging look at Remilia-san. For some reason she clenched her fist.

H-, Huh? A-, Am I done for? Yeah, of course. Remilia-san has always been really loyal to the country.

Aah, oh no!? Remilia-san’s fist is…

“FOOLS! HAVE YOU NO SHAME!”

“GUHAH!”

But contrary to expectations, the punch wasn’t directed at me, but at one of the ultranationalists. Then, before my eyes, Remilia-san lowered her head.

“I’m sorry. As the Captain tasked with keeping the public order, I apologise from the bottom of my heart.”

“Remilia-sama, please stop that. To lower your head to a commoner is――”

“SILENCE! Have you lot no shame! We exist to protect the country. I believe this too. But if the citizens are crying for help, and as the leaders we trample over their earnest pleas, do you really believe we can fix this country!”

Remilia-san’s grave rebuke startled the ultranationalists into silence. The other members were shocked too. Perhaps it got through to them, because the ultranationalists began apologising to me.

What leadership and determination! What resplendent nobility!

I guess this is what you call real charisma. It makes you want to follow her. I’ve fallen for you all over again, Remilia-san. You’re just so cool.

With that, the discussion ended.

The result was that the participants seriously reflected on my opinion. They decided to improve the public order first.

I did it! Well, they’re still keeping an eye on suspicious people, but I guess we can call it compromise. They’re looking for a guy called Eddygar too, so I doubt it’ll lead them to Edim.

Huhu, this is all thanks to my fake info about Pistachio and Eddygar, two suspicious people that visited my shop.

Phew, I thought I was going to die from stomach pain during that meeting, but it looks like I made it.

While I was basking in the relief, Remilia-san came up to me.

“I knew it was a good idea to bring you, Tilea. It was good to find out how the common people were feeling.”

“No, I didn’t do anything at all.”

“No, Tilea. Because we are all warriors, our views are too monolithic. But thanks to you, we ended up having a good discussion. Did you not also provide us with a lead! Tilea, I am grateful to you.”

“I-, I’m honoured.”

I’m sorry. It was fake info so please don’t feel so grateful. Uu, I feel so bad. I’ve been doing nothing but lying to my future girlfriend.

“I will be expecting a lot out of you.”

“Y-, Yes. If I hear anything, I’ll let you know.”

“Umu. The next meeting is next month. I’ll be counting on you.”

“S-, Sorry? U-, Umm, isn’t the meeting over…?”

“What are you saying. In order to revive the Capital, there are countless things that we should discuss as trustworthy individuals. The Loyalist Committee for the Extermination of Demons. From today onwards, you’re an intelligence operative in our operation,” said Remilia with a bright smile.

W-, What’s with that CIA agent-sounding role?

And Remilia-san, how can you just let a mole into your group like this? I’m on the demon’s side to protect Edim, you know.

Aah, I think my stomach pains just came back. It looks like my worries won’t clear up so easily.


<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Turf War – Chapter 8

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ.

Thank you for your consideration, guys!


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Chapter 8 – “I seriously gotta protect Edim’s secret.”

My friend and future lover Remilia-san called me out. Apparently she had something important to talk about.

Huhu, something important, huh~ I wonder what? A confession of her love, maybe~?

At least I was hoping it was something like that.

When I arrived at the meeting place, I was in for a real shock! It wasn’t just Remilia-san; a bunch of other people were there too, from adventurer-looking dudes to guard-looking dudes. Either way, a bunch of skilled fighters. This definitely wasn’t some love confession.

When I entered the room, all eyes glared at me. I felt completely out of place.

Remilia-san, why on earth did you call me into a place like this~

Aahh, I kinda wanna run away. Anyway, should I just sit in some empty seat first? After giving Remilia-san a short greeting, I did just that and made myself as small as possible.

Uuu, for some reason I’m feeling all nervous now. What the heck is going to happen.

I looked around. There were four tables that sat four people each, and at each table there were three people already sitting there. Altogether ten people, and all of them seemed to be really intense in one way or another. Well, except me of course.

Anyway, everyone was on edge and waiting for Remilia-san to begin talking.

Not long after I had sat down, Remilia-san cleared her throat. Ah, she’s about to start talking.

“Thank you for coming, everyone. The people gathered here this evening are limited to only those I can absolutely trust.”

Remilia-san’s voice was so dignified…

Aah, Remilia-san, I’m happy that you trust me like that. Well, let’s leave aside that there are all these other people you trust as well…

“Mind if I ask somethin’ first? If we’re all ‘people you can trust’, what the hell is this girl doing here?”

pointed a bearded meatball.

Damn it! What the hell is his problem! It’s true, but do you have to say it like that! You damned bearded――wait, hey… I think I’ve seen him somewhere before…

“Watch your tone! Tilea is my good friend.”

“Just because she’s your good friend, you think it makes it fine to bring a total amateur here?”

“Tilea might not be able to fight, but she has been helpful in gathering information. Compared to her, what have you done? I have seen the reports. Care to explain your disgrace during the magic dog incident!”

“Uu, t-that’s… It’s fine.”

“I see. Then stop complaining, and shut up!”

Kyaa! So dreamy! Take me!

Thanks to Remilia-san, Beard Meat didn’t say anything further and reluctantly withdrew.

“I suspect that many of you do not know each other. Before I move onto the main topic, please introduce yourselves.”

In response, a muscular man stood up energetically.

“I’m Raiden Jaft, the Vice Chief of the 2nd Regiment of the National Army. During the demon attack I was going around pacifying the neighbouring umbrella states.”

Ooh, some amazing veteran just appeared. I wonder if he’d be interested in trying our restaurant. Along with Myuu, they’d make great publicity. The frequent haunt of an expert adventurer and an expert soldier.

After Raiden-san finished his introduction, next to stand was a slender young man who seemed like a magician.

“I’m Mose Denper, a member of the Sorcerers Regiment of the National Army. I suppose you could say that I’m aiming for Court Wizard.”

Another amazing elite. The Sorcerers Regiment huh. After Timu graduates from the Magic Academy, he’ll be like her senpai. It’d be great if he could lecture Timu on the conduct of a proper magician.

After Mose-san finished his introduction, we went around clockwise. Everyone was a member of the Guards, or the Guild, or some other important institution.
What an amazing group. Even that petty-looking Beard Meat was an amazing B-ranked adventurer.

The more I hear, the more I wonder what the heck I’m doing here. Aren’t I completely out of place?
Why is there a chef amidst all these battle veterans…

Even while I was puzzled, the introductions continued.

Next was――oh! A girl.

Besides Remilia and I, the only girl in this group of men. She had blonde rolls like an ojousama. Great proportions too. What a cutie.

“My name is Rozetta Pratoline. I am an adventurer, and a gourmet hunter. I am presented D-ranked, but one day I shall be S-ranked.”

“Oi, don’t tell me you’re from that Rozetta, that major noble family?”

“Yes. Rozetta Stole is my father.”

“Oi, oi, you’re kidding! The hell is a rich girl like you doing adventuring?”

People began to kick up a fuss.

Wow, so she really is a rich ojousama~

She certainly does exude elegance. She kind of reminds me of this rival anime character that was a rich ojousama too.

“Huhu, because of my upbringing I have a greater love of gourmet food than the average person. I can’t be satisfied with the average food that other people make. Thus, I had no choice but to become an adventurer, a gourmet hunter to provide good food myself. It simply couldn’t be helped.”

What a daring attitude. But I’m envious. If only I was powerful too, I’d go on adventures and look for my own ingredients.

“Hmph, making a mountain out of something like cooking. People like me are risking our lives just to make a living. Must be nice being a rich girl.”

It was Beard Meat again. Honestly, what an irritating guy. It’s especially unforgivable that he made fun of cooking.

“Huu, I’m tired of listening to that kind of slander. Why do so-called real adventurers like you always make light of cooking. I’m speechless.”

“Why wouldn’t we. Just having food to eat is enough, who cares what it is! Only the rich can fuss about what tastes good and what tastes crap. Gourmet hunter? Hah! You think something like that is an adventurer? Don’t make me laugh!”

“Tell me. Have you ever adventured in the Cold Regions?”

“‘Course. Far from just the Cold Regions, I’ve been in wyvern nests right by rivers of boiling magma, all sorts of fucking dangerous places. That’s what a real adventurer does.”

“Of course. Then during your adventures, I suppose you prepared gachalé?”

“Yeah. If you don’t have that, the Cold Region will freeze your food into blocks of ice. It’s common sense for any adventurer.”

“Huhu, so you managed to adventure there. Good for you. Incidentally, the one who discovered and improved gachalé was me.”

“Wha-!?”

“If you look down on food, food will look down on you. Do you still want to say that you can adventure while looking down on food?”

“Kuh-!”

Beard Meat was silenced again. He just exposes more of his pettiness each time he opens his mouth. Honestly, it would be better if he just stopped…

But still, to think that that girl was the one who discovered gachalé. That’s seriously amazing. You can use it to keep your food cool, and you can use it as flavouring too. And the ways you can flavour things with it are countless. The discovery of gachalé was a revolution to chefs. I can’t even say just how much it’s helped to bring more tastes to the world of cooking.

As I admired Miss Pratoline’s words, it became my turn before I knew it.

I’m feeling kind of nervous~

They’re definitely giving me weird looks. But I guess the die is already cast. It’s too late to back out now.

“Umm~ I’m Tilea. I run a restaurant on West Road. If it pleases you, please give us a visit.”

Uh, for some reason it turned into an advertisement.

Their reactions…

Aah, I knew it. They’re looking confused like, ‘Why the heck is this girl here?’.

“My, was there a restaurant on West Road?”

Oh! Miss Pratoline reacted. As expected of the Gourmet Hunter.

“We just opened last month. I can guarantee the taste.”

“Hmm~ So what’s your restaurant recommended(signature) dish?”

“All of it. We handle everything from the Occident to the Orient.”

“…Well, perhaps I’ll go if I feel like it.”

What the! She isn’t expecting anything at all! What the heck! Just you wait! I’ll make you react like Ajioh.

Once everyone was done introducing themselves, Remilia-san began to explain why she gathered us here today.

“The reason I gathered you this time was none other than the search for the demon who attacked me and annihilated the Public Safety Force: Ortissio.”

GUHOH-! It’s here. It’s here, damnit. I knew it. I knew it would be this. I’ve been getting nothing but bad feelings about this the whole time. Well, considering all the stern people gathered here, I knew it had to be something scary…

Hahh~ To put it simply, the whole thing is just a massive misunderstanding. It would have been fine if she had just left him…
But it’s not like I can say that. If I did, Or would be jailed for interference with a public servant’s duties. And then I would be jailed too for sheltering him.

“Remilia-sama tasked me with the search for the demon Ortissio beforehand,” said Raiden as he stood.

“Then, Raiden, please report.”

“Understood. As of searching the Royal Capital as well as the surrounding states, we have found six individuals with the name Ortissio. Every one of them was human. Remilia-sama, the only one who knows the demon’s face, confirmed that they were simply people with the same name.”

“I see. It was different when I checked too. I suppose there hasn’t been any new information?”

“No, my apologies.”

“No, that’s fine. You did well.”

Yeah, well of course. After all, there’s no such demon as Ortissio. All you have is some wastrel rich boy.

Ah! That’s not right. He said there was someone named Ortissio in the Capital too, right? But anyways, I hope they just consider Or as somebody with the same name by coincidence. Still, apparently Remilia-san remembers his face.

“Tilea, do you know anything?”

“Eh-!? W-, Well…”

“Anything is fine. Even something you think is trivial is fine, so please tell us.”

What do I do? What should I say? …C-, Can’t be helped. It might be a little pushy, but I guess I’ll force her to believe some lies.

“A-A-Ah~ That’s right. Speaking of which~ I remember~ The demon that attacked you, Remilia-san, I don’t think his name is Ortissio.”

“No, I certainly heard his name.”

“But at the time you were heavily injured, weren’t you? I think you heard the name wrong.”

“T-, That shouldn’t be the case… probably…”

“See? You’re memories are in a jumble. T-, The truth is, there was this really obviously suspicious guy at my shop called Pistachio.”

“Pistachio, you say!”

Remilia-san was shocked. Will it work?

“Remilia-sama, the names certainly sound the same. Would it not be appropriate to search for a Pistachio as well while we conduct our searches?”

Some support fire from Raiden-san. That’s great. More please.

“Mumu… It is the truth that I was only semi-conscious at the time. Very well. Everybody, please cooperate with me to see if there isn’t anybody by the name of Pistachio.”

“”Understood.””

Phew, thank goodness. Looks like I made it work.

But still, to think Or shared his name with so many people. Ah, but he does come from a major noble’s family, so they have a lot of branch families that share the name.
Guess I can relax for now. Later on I have to tell Or to stay inside more until things calm down.

Anyway, is this the end of the meeting? No, looking at Remilia-san, it looks like there’s still something more. Fumu. This long meeting has made me kinda thirsty. It looks like they have a kitchen in the next room, so should I make some tea for everyone?

“Um, Remilia-san, since the first topic has finished, shall we have a short break? I can go make tea for everyone.”

“Good point. Thank you, Tilea.”

“Not at all.”

I headed into the kitchen to emphasize to her, “I can do housework. I’m considerate too.”

Now then, ummm, tea, tea… I looked through the cupboards.

And then…

Ohh~ Isn’t this a maybell fruit! And they’ve got laurel drops too.

Ku ku, I have a good idea. Let’s test out Miss Pratoline. I’ll add in just a little to enhance the taste. Let’s see if she realises~

I brought out enough tea for everyone.

Heh. I’ll show you the skill of a pro. There are knacks to brewing great tea. The temperature, as well as the timing in which you put in the tea leaves can make huge differences in the taste.

What you do is boil fresh water first. Once it’s bubbling, you enter the right amount of leaves before pouring in the boiling water. Immediately cap it with a lid, and then boil it with respect to the size of the tea leaves. Once the right time has passed, you gently stir it to bring up the tea leaves.
It’s at that point that the maybell fruit is the most effective, so the trick is to put in laurel drops at that moment too.
After that, you just pour out every last drop while making sure that the strength of the tea is uniform.

Yup~ I can really smell the sweet fragrance. The maybell fruit and laurel drops really form an exquisite harmony. Quite well done, if I do say so myself.

After finishing my preparations, I handed the steaming maybell tea out for everyone.

“Here, Remilia-san.”

“Umu, it smells great.”

No, no, you smell much nicer.

“Here you go.”

“Hmph. I would’ve preferred alcohol.”

I’ll kill you, you bearded meatball!

After handing it to everyone else, finally it was the most important one. Miss Pratoline.

“Here you go.”

“Thank you.”

It’s on.

Miss Pratoline drank it. The way she would occasionally enjoy the fragrance was the very picture of an aristocrat.

“Hmm. Your taste isn’t bad.”

“Meaning?”

“Did you think I would not notice the laurel drops?”

Tsk, so she noticed. But it looks like she has what it takes to brag. I only added just a tiny drop…

“But if you were going to do this, then it would have tasted better to add barbar fruit to bring out the astringency.”

Mu! I certainly thought that at first too, but…

That kind of thing would make a chef cry. The balance needed to prepare that is just terrible.

“If you don’t use the barbar fruit properly, it’ll overpower everything, so…”

“That’s where the skill of the chef makes the difference. I can do it.”

“Y-, You’ve said it now. E-, Even I can do it if I try.”

“Then do so to begin with.”

“Damn it! J-, Just to let you know, if you think this is the limits of my ability, you’re sorely mistaken, okay.”

“Heh. Talking big takes no ability.”

“F-, Fine then. Fine. It’s on. I challenge you to a cooking duel.”

“My my. You think you can win against me? I have more skill than even the royal chefs, you know.”

“Even I――”

“You two, enough fighting!”

“B-, But Remilia-san, this curly blonde butterfly girl…”

“W-, Who did you call a curly blonde! My hair has a long pedigree of――”

“Enough! Break time is over. We will be discussing tonight’s real issue now.”

No good, no good. Remilia-san got angry. I’m reflecting.

Now then, what might the real issue be?

But whatever it is, at least I can relax now that the Or thing is over. I guess I’ll just have some tea while I wait.

“At present, the invasion of our nation by demons has been progressing in secret.”

Eh, really?

Remilia-san’s sudden jab caused everyone to tense up. And hey, another demon attack? I hope nothing bad happens.

“The royal family, the Guild, the Royal Guards… You can consider all organisations to have fallen under the control of the demons.”

“S-, So it’s true. This weird feeling I’ve been getting since coming back to the Capital really is…”

“Yes. Exactly as you suspect. The people gathered here were either absent from the Capital during the raid, or people who have only newly arrived. It is no longer possible to trust anybody else.”

Mn!? But I was smack bang in the middle during that attack…

“U-, Umm, Remilia-san, I’m sorry to interrupt, but I was in the Capital during the entirety of the demon raid…”

“You’re a commoner, so it’s fine. I was speaking of those related to organisations like the Guild or Public Safety Force. Combat personnel. And besides, most importantly, you’re my friend, and I trust you the most.”

“Remilia-san!”

――Hang on, this isn’t the time to be praising your lover. The people around us have started to get really noisy.

They’re all muttering stuff like,

“So the Captain really…” or “The Guildmaster truly was…”

I-, I’m getting a bad feeling about this.

“Silence, everyone! It is true. As you have suspected, the leaders of all public institutions have been turned by the demons. There are vampires lurking in my Public Safety Force as well. I also tried to discover the mastermind behind the vampires, but they chose suicide just before I could finish interrogating them.”

“Then we have no clues…?”

“We do!  Before the vampire died, they screamed the name of their master.”

“Ohh! And what was that name?”

“I was caught off guard and could only hear part of it, but he screamed,

“Long live Edi-something!”

before dying.”

b08

H-, Hang on, the most forbidden secret just got revealed. And the Guild? The military? Edim, just how damned cornered were you!

ABABABABABABA! This is a crime! A total crime! If this gets out, I’ll be hanged along with Edim.

*―*

*―*

*―*

*―*

*―*

*―*


“She kind of reminds me of this rival anime character that was a rich ojousama too.”
“B-, But Remilia-san, this curly blonde butterfly girl…”

Both of the above lines are references to Ryuuzaki Reika, of Ace wo Nerae! who is a rival character that is nicknamed Madame Butterfly. She’s the one with the curls:

Ace.wo.Nerae!.600.1087809

Thank you, zoom, for introducing the manga to me.

“What the! She isn’t expecting anything at all! What the heck! Just you wait! I’ll make you react like Ajioh.”

This line is a reference to Mister Ajikko. The Ajiou character in question reacts to good food like this:

The one at 12 seconds is him.


Ah, also, yes, Rozetta is the surname, and this is what she looks like in the web novel illustrations:

20


<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Turf War – Chapter 7

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ.

Thank you for your consideration, guys!


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Make sure you didn’t join the old one by accident!
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Chapter 7 – “I gotta protect Edim’s secret.”

“U-, Umm…?”

“DON’T MOVE! If you move a hair I’ll use my magical bullets.”

I looked at the maniac’s eyes. This is bad. He’ll seriously shoot.

“P-Please calm down. Let’s think things through calmly. Timu and I are just the daughters of a chef; we’re commoners. Why on earth would we need to get involved with demons?”

“That’s suspicious in and of itself! How on earth could the daughter of a mere cook outdo the sons and daughters of nobles. That Timu girl has probably been bewitched by a demon. After all, it’s impossible that a noble would lose to a commoner.”

Ah!

So the truth is finally revealed…! In other words, this aristocratic elitist looks down on commoners. That’s why he’s so suspicious of Timu’s talent. There’s no way a commoner could be the Dux Litterarum, huh!

God, what a stereotypical medieval noble. Thinking that their nobility makes them absolute, and anybody who threatens their position should be hanged as a witch.

“Just listening to you disgusts me. Is this how a teacher should be thinking? Who decided that a commoner can’t be as good as a noble? Timu’s ability is because of the demons? Stop talking rubbish! Timu’s ability is because of her own hard work!”

“Hmph! You don’t understand a thing. One’s ability in magic is almost always determined by their heritage. There are certainly commoners who have some skill with magic. But they never amount to much.”

“And I’m telling you that’s a bias! Don’t get Timu mixed up in your elitism. To begin with, aren’t you the one who praised Timu in the beginning!”

“Indeed. There may certainly be exceptions within the commoners. It is exactly that thought that led me, for the sake of this nation, for the sake of the royal family, to put aside my personal feelings and suggest that the likes of a peasant should become a court wizard. And far from feeling grateful, that girl… to a noble like me… looked at me like I was nothing more than a bug! Absolutely unforgivable!”

The ultranationalist elitist sprayed spittle everywhere.

So unsightly. Doesn’t he realise just how much harm that classist way of thinking is doing to the country? Timu understood just how foolish and disgusting this man was.

“It’s because you act like this that Timu looked down on you, you know.”

“Hmph. Thinking about it carefully, there was always something inhuman about that girl. I’ll bet she’s the underling of a demon or something.”

“Hahh~ Don’t you understand how absurd you’re being? You’re being looked down upon because of your own conduct. And of all things, you’d even slander us with a false charge because you couldn’t stand losing to a commoner…”

“Shut up! You damned traitor! You’ve sold us to the demons. You two sisters are going to the gallows. All enemies of the royal family shall die.”

“…Y-, You’re insane.”

The nails that stick out are hammered down. Timu is a commoner with more talent than the nobles. I’ll bet this elitist bigot didn’t look kindly on that. A man mad with jealousy.
But even if he’s a madman, he’s still a teacher at the Magic Academy. Just his word against ours is enough to doom us.

W-, What should I do.

Before I could think of a plan, reality struck hard when the doors suddenly opened. Guards came walking in. A pair of buff men.

Kuh-, is there nothing else I can do…?

“You’re here. This girl is a traitor who has connections to the demons. Capture her immediately! Her sister as well. I’ll leave it to you.”

“…”

“What’s the matter? Hurry up and restrain her. She’s a traitor to the nation, you know!”

I thought I would be arrested immediately, but for some reason the guards weren’t apprehending me. Far from it, they were just standing around.

Mn!? Somebody else is coming in. Some girl walked briskly and coolly into the room――wai-, Edim? What’s going on?

The guards parted to either side, and Edim strode gallantly down the middle.

“Mu!? Aren’t you Edim? Where have you been all this time? Casually playing truant? How shameless.”
“Eh!? Edim, you haven’t been to school?”

“My sincere apologies. I have been busy with more important places, so I haven’t been to the academy yet,” she explained apologetically.

“Huh? More important places, you say? Depending on your answer, I may need to suspend you, no, expel you.”
“Edim, what was more important than school? Skipping school isn’t good, okay? Please stay with Timu.”

“M-, My most sincere apologies. Because of the decisions we made at the war council, I simply could not find even a little time, and have shamefully not come here yet.”

Edim was even more apologetic now.

“War council? Edim, could it be that the royal family secretly called for you? In that case, there’s no helping it. The royal family comes before all. I understand the circumstances now, so return to class.”
“War council? That wasn’t just an E.G.A. meeting? If you had some job to do, then I guess it can’t be helped. Mn, mn. Once you’re done, go back to class with Timu, okay?”

“Understood. I will return with pleasure,” she replied with an ecstatic expression…

Wai-, who has she been answering all this time? This ultranationalist’s questions have been kind of aligning with mine.

Well whatever. Anyway, what to do about this situation? At this rate, I’ll be imprisoned under false charges. In this world without lawyers, it’s common for people to ignore anything the commoners say. If I just go along with it, I’m done for.

There’s no other choice. Should I make a run for it? But I can’t imagine being able to escape these macho men.

Mm~mm, should I ask Edim to help then? I don’t know why she came in with these guards, but I’m sure Edim can help.
But if she does, then there’s the chance of her real self being exposed. Still, Timu is in danger right now. I have to make a decision.

“Ah~ Edim, the truth is that at this very second, I’m in a rather tight spot.”

“A tight spot, you say?”

“This ultranationalist elitist has been going on about how Timu and I are the underlings of demons, and about he’s going to throw us in jail. Isn’t he a massive idiot?”

“Hmph! I’m a massive idiot? You two sisters are done for!”

“What an annoying guy! Edim, that’s how things are, so could you help?”

“Edim, pay no heed to the babblings of this traitor. Now then, return to class.”

After listening to the maniac and I, Edim gave a clean nod.

“What are you doing, Edim? Return to class at once! Mn!? Speaking of which, why are the guards with you…”

“Tilea-sama, I understand the situation now. I will grasp hold of the academy next. Get him, Dalf!”

“Understood.”

At Edim’s command, the young man named Dalf attacked the ultranationalist elitist. Because he was stunned, he showed no resistance as Dalf sank his fangs into him.

Dalf audibly gulped down blood.

And then…

Pitifully, Ultranationalist Elitist fell to the ground, drained of his blood. It had only been a few dozen seconds.

Then, a few minutes later, the ultranationalist elitist got up, and knelt before Dalf like a retainer.

He was like a totally different person.

The ultranationalist elitist was looking at Dalf like he was a god. The characteristic fangs of a vampire were sticking out of his mouth.

“E-, Edim-san, could I ask one question…?”

“What is it, Tilea-sama?”

“Could it be that the macho men standing over there are both vampires?”

“Yes. They are my kin, Dalf and Milio.”

“…I see.”

“Tilea-sama…?”

Edim tilted her head and looked at me a little confused.

The whole place was quiet, like the earlier chaos was a lie.

Edim and I looked at each other for a while, and then…”

……
…………
………………

“W-W-W-What a-are y-y-you doing! Sucking blood… D-, Doesn’t that make you no different to a monster!”

In my panic I criticised Edim.

Oi, oi, oi, what the hell is going on? Didn’t Edim get her human heart back? Why is she attacking people for their blood!

“INSOLENCE! HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO EDIM-SAMA IN SUCH A MANNERR!”

Apparently one of Edim’s kin was enraged at me. In his anger, he raised his fist to hit me.

H-, HYOEH~!? SERIOUSLY!?

O-, Of course. I scolded the master, so of course her kin would be mad.

“U-, Umm, w-, wait a――”

“BASTARDD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO TILEA-SAMA!”

Edim began to violently beat her kin.

“GUHAH!”

“YOU USELESS SCUM! DO YOU INTEND TO SHAME ME IN FRONT OF TILEA-SAMAA!”

Still enraged, Edim continued to beat her kin relentlessly.

Uwahh, that looks painful…

As expected of a vampire. Her strength is really no joke. The buff men were spewing blood in no time.

“P-, Please stop. Please forgive Dalf-sama.”

Ah, the new vampire Jayjay started trying to cover for Dalf.

“Hahh, hahh, bastard. Don’t speak out of turn. You are in the presence of Edim-sama.”

“H-, However…”

W-, What the heck is with this drama.

The former monarch-supremacist Jayjay was now desperately covering for Dalf. Does that mean Jayjay worships Dalf, and in turn Dalf worships Edim?

“Oi! Stop Edim-sama as well, you idiot!”

Jayjay suddenly screamed at me. But, can I even stop Edim? It’s true that she’s Timu’s friend, and I think of Edim as my friend too, but…

At any rate, Edim attacks people. Even ignoring Jayjay, she attacked Dalf and Milio, so that’s already two victims.

Could it be that she’s actually still a vampire inside?

No, but she saved me just now. It was because Jayjay was going to imprison me that she turned him.
And when they tried to attack me, she got angry for my sake and was the Edim that I remember.

Mn, I’ll believe in her. There has to be some reason that she did this. How could I suspect Timu’s precious friend!

“Edim, please stop.”

“Understood.”

Edim obediently agreed. She really is the Edim I know.

“Edim, could I speak to you alone…?”

“Yes. Dalf, Milio, take the new guy and wait outside.”

“H-, However, defending you is――”

“I won’t say it again. Leave!”

“”As you wish.””

The two kin left as ordered. Their movements were those of veteran soldiers.

Is this because of vampiric bewitchment or something?

Anyway, I’ll ask why she attacked people. Maybe it has something to do with why she hasn’t been going to school.

“Edim, this is an important question. Could you answer it?”

“Yes, anything.”

“Um, Dalf and Milio, was it? Why did you turn them into kin?”

“Milady, Milio is a member of the Guards. He discovered that I was a vampire, so I had no choice but to turn him. As for Dalf, it was because he was a captain of the Guards.”

Aaah~ So that’s how it is.

S-She had no choice, she had no choice. There were extenuating circumstances, okay? I mean, she’d be executed if people found out that she was a vampire. There wasn’t any choice with Milio, right?

Then what about Dalf? Why did she go out of her way to change him if he hadn’t even found out?

“I understand Milio’s case, but why Dalf?”

“If I turn Dalf, then I can control the entire five hundred guards. Or would it have been better to turn all five hundred of them as well?”

“N-, No, definitely not, but…”

“I-, Is there something else you are dissatisfied with? What on earth should I…?”

Edim looked at me uneasily. It was the expression of a small child who didn’t know why she was scolded.

T-, This is…

I see! Oh my god! How could I have said something so cruel!

This is what actually happened!

Even though Edim is a vampire with the heart of a human, her body is a real vampire’s. It wouldn’t be strange at all if the Guards, Safety Force, and the other government agencies came after her.

One day, Edim was spotted by a guard…

『Oi, I’ve found you! A remnant of the vampires! PREPARE YOURSELF, YOU ENEMY OF THE KINGG!』

『Stop it! Please stop it! I’m a human!』

『SHUT UPP, MONSTERR! I’LL TAKE REVENGE FOR ALL OF YOUR VICTIMS!』

『Stop! Stop! I’m a victim too! Help!』

Guards tenaciously pursuing her… And naturally so, because of the vampire attack that just happened… Nobody would listen just because she claimed to be a former-human…

And then…

『KYAAAH!』

『Heh. You’ve nowhere left to run. Just see how I torture you to death!』

『No! No! Please stop it! GABUH-!』

They drove her into a corner, and she did it out of desperation and fear. That’s legitimate self-defence. To think that Edim has been fighting such a struggle all this time. No wonder she couldn’t come to school.

And then, a few days ago, Edim realised. That if she continued this way, one day she would be caught and tormented to death. In that case, it would be better to go for the Guard Captain to begin with. If she stopped the leader of the hunting force, then they wouldn’t be able to continue. In fact, doing so would reduce the number of victims. That’s why she had no choice but to attack him.

What a pitiful girl. Who on earth could blame her. Nobody could. She’s a victim. She did what she had to to live. True, what she did might have been a crime. But as her friend, I at least need to stand by her side.

“Edim… It must have been hard.”

I gently wrapped my arms around her.

“U-, Umm, Tilea-sama, what do you mean by that? D-Did I make some mistake?”

“No, you did the right thing. No matter what anyone says, I’ll support you.”

“Tilea-sama!”

For a while, Edim and I hugged each other.

Now then, what do I do?

Edim vampirised the Captain of the Guards, so there shouldn’t be any vampire hunts for now. In that case, Edim shouldn’t attack any more people. It saddens me too that people had to be attacked.

Ah!? Speaking of which, these new vampires aren’t going to run wild, are they? After all, during the attack on the capital it was like a zombie game…

“Hey, Edim, your kin aren’t going to run wild, right? It would be bad if they ran out randomly attacking people like the time with the vampires.”

“Please be at ease. The reason that happened during the invasion was because the parent vampires lacked both ability and character. I am a first-rate vampire, so there isn’t a problem.”

“I-, I see. I’ll believe in you. Also, what happens to the people who are turned? Like, their character, or rather their personalities and the like?”

Even if it was to save Edim, these people have families too. I wouldn’t be able to bear it if their lives were ruined because of this.

“Their character and personality will stay the same as before. If that weren’t the case, people would notice abnormalities, after all. The effect of turning them into kin are that the abilities of their body are boosted, and that they prioritise their parent vampire.”

I see. In other words, boneheads remain boneheads, and cowards remain cowards. But a person who values the country the most will instead value the person who turned them the most.

Mn!? Then won’t people notice a change?

But well, I guess people do change beliefs. And they’re not dying or anything, so I guess I don’t need to worry about it too much.

“I see. Also, does Timu know about the blood sucking?”

“Yes. The decision to turn the Captain of the Guards was decided during the Evil God Army’s war council.”

W-, WHAT DID YOU SAYYY!? Was I the only one who didn’t know!?

Haha, what is this feeling of alienation…

It’s true that it’s best to keep this stuff a secret. But I’m her friend too. If Edim is in trouble, then I want to her help too.

Hmmmm… I don’t really like it, but I bet Timu said something like “Please don’t get Oneesama involved.”
I’d say that too if I were in her position.

But wow, I’ve got a better opinion of those guys now. I thought the ‘leaders’ of the Evil God Army were just playing around, but they were actually brainstorming ideas to help their friend.

I see! I’ll bet it was Dryas’ idea to convert the Captain. Dryas would definitely have come up with the best solution to her crisis.

“Edim, was it Dryas that suggested vampirising the Captain?”

“Yes, exactly as you say. I did as Dryas-sama instructed.”

I knew it! As expected of my Zifang. He came up with the solution with the least sacrifices.

“Hey, is this what you guys have been discussing in your meetings lately?”

“Yes. Not only this, but…”

I see, I see. Everyone cooperated even though it was a crime because their friend needed help. They’re actually pretty good guys.

“Edim, it’s been rough for you as a vampire. But don’t worry. Everyone is on your side. Of course that includes me too.”

“Tilea-sama, it isn’t rough at all. The joy of being able to serve you and Camilla-sama is incomparable to anything I experienced as a human.”

She spoke in chuunibyou, but I understood. In other words, she’s glad that she became friends with Timu and I. She appreciates people who still accept her. Even if she used to be a human, she’s a vampire now. Normally people would be frightened or repulsed.

But Timu and the others all treat Edim like normal, without any fear or hatred.

I always thought of those guys as nothing but idiots, but I like this part of them. Well, I feel the same way though.

It’s okay. I won’t let the country have you. I’ll definitely protect you, Edim.


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Turf War – Chapter 6

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If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ.

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Chapter 6 – “Parent-Teacher Interview?”

The Royal Capital’s Magic Academy reopened, and so young talents with bright futures resumed their academic endeavours. Of course, my prided little sister was trying just as hard.
At first I was worried that she wouldn’t be used to the lifestyle, but the girl herself has been completely nonchalant. I’m sure it’s because of the support her friends Edim and Jessica are giving her.

For some reason I was called to the Academy today. Something like a parent-teacher interview? The school asked for Timu’s parents or guardian, but Mum and Dad are still in Beruga and can’t come here so easily.
Because of that, it fell to me as her older sister.

Hmmm, a parent-teacher interview…

It’s probably some talk about her grades or her future huh. As her older sister, I’ll need to have a good discussion.

And so, I happily headed to the Academy. When I arrived, the students were studying in class, or doing things like sports.

Ahh, even though it’s in a different world, it’s really still a school, huhh~

I looked here and there curiously, as I took in my surroundings.

Mn. There’s so much youth. It reminds me of my old life. Although I was bullied, I still had a few friends. After school I would chat with friends with the same hobbies as me, and even though I didn’t have a girlfriend, we came up with “100 ways of getting an elf girlfriend in a fantasy world” together. It’s become a fond memory to me now. I hope Timu will have a nice youth like that too.

I know! When I meet the teacher, should I ask if there are any good clubs for her to join? School life would be even better if she had things to do with friends.

As I headed for the reception, I started simulating the interview in my mind.

When I arrived, a clerk came out and asked me to follow. So I did as I was told and followed behind them.

After walking for a while, I was eventually guided to a door with elegant decoration.

This room…?

It was a terribly important-looking door. I’ll bet it cost quite a bit. Even though it was just a door, it was like a small work of art. I-, Is it okay to leave my fingerprints on this? Am I overthinking things?

Well, here we go.

I knocked on the door.

“Come in.”

“Excuse me.”

Since somebody answered, I headed inside with a greeting. What greeted me was a strict-looking man who seemed rather high-strung. Probably Timu’s homeroom teacher. I’d better greet him quickly.

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Tilea, Timu’s older sister. I’ve come in place of our parents.”

“I’m Timu-kun’s homeroom teacher, Jayjay J. Amacheur. Well, please take a seat.”

Jayjay-sensei offered me a seat, so I sat down in the one opposite him.

“Now then, the reason I have asked you to come is in regard to Timu-kun’s future.”

“Ah, I thought so. Is Timu doing well?”

“Her grades at least, are completely without objection. She is one of the most talented students in the history of our school.”

“Ooh, is that so!”

“Her entrance exam was exceptional as well. Usually a mid-semester transfer would be out of the question unless the student was fairly gifted, but Timu-kun was extraordinary. Her answers often leave her teachers speechless, and it would even be possible for her to one day become the best wizard in the Capital.”

Ooh, that’s amazing! Since Timu learnt magic by herself, and even played magic with a bunch of adults, I knew that she was talented.

But I never could have dreamed that her teacher would praise her this much…

Huhu, I’m so proud of her.

“Sensei, please continue to guide her.”

“I intend to. However, as her older sister, please give a word of warning as well!”

“Eh!? What do you…”

“Timu-kun’s grades are certainly marvellous. How-e-ver, in contrast her attitude towards teachers is incredibly bad. She is rebellious, and doesn’t see her teachers as teachers! No matter how good her grades are, it is a huge problem for her to be this arrogant at her ageee!!”

Jayjay-sensei got too excited and his face turned bright red. I guess he’s really angry about her attitude.

Haha, I thought this might happen. I knew her chuunibyou would be a problem.

But to think she would suddenly pick a fight with her home room teacher…

Hahh, but I don’t think he would understand even if I explained her chuunibyou to him. This is bad. If I do nothing, this is going to go on her report one day. I’ve already sworn to clean up after her chuunibyou. I’ll have to do with this now.

“I’m terribly sorry, Sensei. I will scold her seriously when she comes home. So please, please calm your anger.”

“Huu~ Huu~ Huu~ That girl’s impertinence, her conceit is just… Argh! She’s so infuriating! No matter how bad I might be, I’m still a teacher at this prided school, you know! But that girl…! Hahh, hahh…”

Perhaps he was recalling Timu’s attitude or something because Jayjay-sensei showed no signs of calming down. Timu must have really done a number on him.
Can’t be helped. I’ll just wait quietly until he calms down. It’s impossible to talk to angry people.
And so, I decided to wait until Jayjay-sensei was done venting.

A few dozen minutes later…

“Hahh, hahh… I-, I have shown you something terribly unsightly.”

He began speaking politely again. I guess he’s calm now.

“I really am sorry. Sometimes my sister acts like a little child.”

“No, it is the responsibility of a teacher to guide children.”

“I will make sure to warn her about her attitude as well. So please keep taking care of my sister.”

It’s for Timu’s upbringing. I gave a 90 degree bow, and deeply lowered my head.

“I know. Timu-kun has incredible talent. To be honest, I even feel envious. But I am a teacher of this school, and have sworn allegiance to the Kingdom of Arcudas. I intend on giving my full support to talents who can one day become the treasures of our nation.”

“I see. I’m sure Timu will try her best too.”

“You think that?”

“Mn!? Am I wrong?”

“I also thought I could inspire her and told her ‘If you continue studying hard, you can become a brilliant court wizard’.”

“What did Timu say?”

“Even though she has so much talent, she showed no interest at all in becoming one!”

“Haha, that sounds like her.”

“Is that something to be laughing about! A court wizard! Even after all the studies upon studies that magicians do, only very few can ever become one. The proud magical elites of the Capital. And Timu-kun, Timu-kun… She treats them as though the position is rotten dog feed. You think that’s acceptable! How could that attitude be possible for somebody who has pledged allegiance to our nation!”

“W-, Well, I can certainly understand how you feel, but in the end it depends on what the person herself wants to do. And isn’t pledging allegiance or whatever a little heavy…?”

“What on earth are you saying! The moment she entered this academy, it became natural for her to offer her life to the country! Or rather, it should be how anybody living in the Capital feels!”

What an ultranationalist… No wonder Timu clashed with him.

“U-, Umm, did you tell Timu how you felt?”

“Of course. I told her how a loyal citizen should be. And in particular, I emphasised the model attitude for a court wizard.”

“And, could I ask what that involved exactly?”

After that, Jayjay-sensei went on and on about how great a court wizard was.

He went on about the history of the court wizards, about the way they served the nation, about the ultimate form of self-improvement etc. etc.

Ahh, I can kind of understand Timu’s feelings now. This is the kind of guy you’d want to rebel against. I’m starting to not give a crap about court wizards. And all this stuff about how they live is stuffy too.

My conclusion? It’s basically slave labour. Court wizards don’t even get a holiday! Each day from early in the morning until late at night, they work, work, work, and the free time they have is all devoted to research or special training.
And just the journey to becoming one is scary too. It’s nothing but studying, training, studying, training until you become a cadet.

It’s like they don’t even know what ‘taking a break’ means.

I see. No wonder Timu didn’t want to become one. No matter how respected a profession it is, Timu would break under that.

“I understand now. Of course something like that is impossible! I can totally understand why Timu doesn’t like it.”

“What a weak attitude! It becomes truly impossible when you think it impossible! Once you consider the country, even the impossible should become possible. As long as she stakes her life and endeavours, the door will open for her!”

W-, What an idealist…

It’s out of the question for Timu to walk the road of a corporate slave. I understand now. I can’t leave Timu to a guy like this.

You think I’ll give my sister to a black company like you!

“Sensei, don’t you think it would be pitiful for Timu to have no time for play or sleep!”

“You’ve babbled nothing but timidity… Listen up! There are mountains of people who can’t become court wizard even if they wanted to! Timu has the talent. Babbling about how it’s impossible, or how there’s no play time, is the same as blasphemy to them.”

He’s finally said it. That argument about how there are people in the world who want to work but can’t. It was this kind of reasoning that made me become a shut-in.

“Sensei, that’s a very old way of thinking. People will only collapse if they don’t enjoy their lives.”

I began explaining to this idealist about how ridiculous and unreasonable his argument was. But far from listening, he just grew more and more stubborn.

And then…

“Enough! I understand very well how you think now. I’m sure that’s also why Timu-kun has no motivation.”

“Yes. I think so too.”

“Very well. Timu-kun is expelled. No matter how good her grades are, that spoilt attitude will only be a bad influence on the others.”

“P-, Please wait a moment. Sensei, you don’t have to be so hasty about…”

“No, expulsion is still too lenient, isn’t it. You two have no loyalty to the nation at all. And there’s the issue of Timu-kun’s arrogance. You two are unfit to live in the Capital. I will immediately have you deported from our country.”

“Hah!? No matter what, that’s way too high-handed! Are you crazy?”

“Hmm. Disparaging a teacher of the Academy. Casually disparaging a teacher at the Academy that has the backing of the royal family… Let me ask you one thing; would you be prepared to give your life for the country?”

“O-, Out of the blue you…”

“Just answer the question! Can you? Can’t you?”

“H-, How on earth could I! If it isn’t for my family, if it isn’t for Timu, how on earth could I be prepared to die.”

“That settles it. Nobody living in our nation could possibly think that way. In that case, could you two be linked to the demons? You damned traitors! I’ll immediately imprison you!”

“A-, Are you serious? Y-, You’re being entirely ridiculous. Are you an idiot! Or is this revenge because Timu beat you in an argument.”

“EEI! Both you sisters repulse me. Somebody! Call the guards!”

Oi, what the fuck! Of all things, this maniac started accusing Timu and I of being spies for the demons. We’re not seriously going to be imprisoned, right?

IT’S A FALSE CHARGE! SOMEBODY SAVE US!


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