Schizophrenia – Chapter 5

Well I didn’t manage to keep up my daily updates, but the great manga team here hopefully filled in the gap with their new release of a similarly “duke’s daughter” based story, heh. Anyways, I’m back with chapter five. I should’ve probably said this sooner, but big thanks to doom_chicken (the editor on tamakeribanchou) who always runs a quick edit scan of my chapters after I post them, as well as everyone else who helps point out the weird stuff in my work. Enjoy!



After breakfast, when Lilia went towards her quarters, Alisa was standing before her room. Before Lilia knew it Alisa was already in a respectful bow. Disregarding it she went past Alisa and entered.

“Mistress, what shall we do about school?”

With a start, Lilia stopped her movement.
In this country there existed the Upper Academy and the Lower Academy, with the upper level school being for nobles and famous merchants to attend. On top of, obviously, learning to read and write, the lessons there consisted of such things as history and math, with even simple magics being included in the curriculum. It was a place for nurturing the talents of society’s elites. On the other hand, the lower level school simply taught the bare minimum of reading and writing skills, and anyone could enroll here simply by paying a small tuition fee.
The one Lilia attended was of course the Upper Academy. Enrolling in the same school as the prince, she had competed consistently in the top rankings with her superior grades. However, currently the prospect of returning to classes was not appealing in the least.

“Not going.”

At Lilia’s words, Alisa suppressed a sigh.

“That won’t do, Mistress. You’ve already been away for a whole week. The master has yet to say anything but, at this rate…”

“At this rate, what?”

Narrowing her eyes, she turned to face Alisa. Looking about to cry, Alisa lowered her eyes to the ground. Lilia gave a small sigh and continued further into her room. Sitting down in an expensive looking chair, she tapped lightly on the table before her with a fingertip.

“Yes… I understand.”

Recognising her master’s intention from that action alone, Alisa gave a small bow and left from the room. Lilia let out a breath of relief, and sank deep into the chair.

—Lilia. You can’t just not return to school you know.

—I know, I know….

She knew that she couldn’t keep going like this. But, if she went back to the school, there would be no avoiding all the faces she didn’t want to see, and the prince would definitely be looking towards her with scorn. If nothing else, that would not be able to endure.

—Sakura. With your instructions, would I be able to win back the prince?

—Sorry. I can’t say for sure, but it’d probably be impossible.

Though the answer was to be expected, actually hearing it Lilia couldn’t help but feel down. Even though up until now the prince would show her his smiling face when they met, from now on that would certainly be impossible. Just thinking about such a thing, tears naturally spilled from Lilia’s eyes.

—Lilia. It’s not like I don’t get your feelings but.

—What now…

—It’s your just desserts. The consequences to your actions. It’s nothing more, nothing less than that yeah?

Lilia’s eyes shot open, a flickering anger burned in her pupils. She opened her mouth, about to yell out.

—It was the way you handled it that was wrong.

The words made Lilia come to a halt.

—It was a fact that you were engaged. Even if he’s a prince, he couldn’t erase that fact, or easily cancel your engagement. Even if it was infuriating, you should have just watched over him, and treated it as a temporary infatuation on his part.

—Isn’t it obvious… That I’d never be able to do such a thing…

—That’s right isn’t it. Besides, such things are already done and in the past.

At Sakura’s reasoning, Lilia reflexively knit her eyebrows. Certainly, nothing can be done now about the things that happened. But she didn’t have to put it like that.

—Right now, you can only do you best in your current reality.

She already knew that. Lilia also accepted the fact that she couldn’t continue her break from school. It’s just that, no matter what she didn’t want to meet that girl and the prince.

—That’s why, Lilia. You just have to make that prince regret his decision in not choosing you right?

—Something like that… How in the world, am I supposed to do that…?

Getting back at him didn’t seem like a bad idea. Against an untouchable existence like the prince, making him regret his own actions was the next best thing. The problem was that Lilia couldn’t think of any way to actually accomplish this.
Sakura however smiled, as if saying it was quite simple.

—You can do it as long as have the know-how. Become familiar with everyone, a person recognised by all, respected by all. Show kindness towards various people, while staying unrelenting at times to prove your reliability. I won’t tell you to garner the admiration of ten thousand fans, but you must be able to win the support of the majority of people.

—Sounds like an empty dream to me…

—That may be so. But, there’s nothing to lose from aiming for this goal, right?

Everything Sakura had said only amounted to an ideal, a dream. No matter how much one strives in their pursuit of knowledge, they still couldn’t hope to succeed over someone who had studied to become an expert. But even so, it was probably better to struggle than simply rotting away in defeat. Alone, such a thing was probably impossible to accomplish for Lilia, but for better or for worse right now she had this meddlesome being beside her.

—Since you’re saying all this, I take it that you will be lending me your strength, yes?

To Lilia’s question, Sakura gave her cheerful response.

—Why but of course. ‘Cause I’m an angel after all! I’ll be your guiding sage!

—Angel? Isn’t this just the delusion of an evil spirit?


An indignant complaint came aimed at her, but Lilia ignored it. At being disregarded, Sakura suddenly fell silent, then spoke in a tiny voice.

—Fine then fine then. I’m just an evil spirit. Hmmph…

At the voice growing so timid, Lilia couldn’t help but let out a laugh. If she were to apologise, Sakura would probably immediately cheer up, laughing. Though she thought about what a simple person that girl was, Lilia didn’t put that into words. After all, chatting with Sakura did cheer her up a little.
That was why,

—Though it really isn’t too far off the mark huh.

Lilia pretended to not hear this muttering that came from Sakura.

“Alisa. Could I trouble you to have something easy to eat delivered to my room for lunch? Also, could you bring me something to write with right now. Ahh, school? I’ll go starting next week.”

Alisa was somewhat perplexed at Lilia’s instructions, but she immediately moved to carry them out. Passing on Lilia’s request to the cook, just to be safe she also went to report to Kelvin, the Master of the estate. Thus borrowing from him some paper and a pen, she returned to Lilia’s room.

“Did you report to Father?”

“Should I not have?”

“No such thing. In fact it was something I should have included in my instructions.”

Lilia was thankful that Alisa had accomplished the things she deemed necessary even without being ordered to.
Though eventually she might act outside of of Lilia’s intentions, for now there was nothing to be worried about. Receiving the pen and paper from Alisa, Lilia saw her off before sitting down in a chair.
Spreading the paper on the table, it was a slightly large piece of white parchment.

—That some nice paper. It’s amazing how you can easily obtain such a thing here.

“Indeed. This is the materialisation of Mother’s efforts. The magic to make paper was developed by Mother after all.”

As long as you had the materials, with just the chant and the magic formation you could mass produce this paper. This was the magic that Lilia’s mother, Ascha had pioneered, which completely had overturned paper’s status as a super valuable commodity just years prior. Thanks to her mother, even commoners could easily obtain and make use of paper these days.
Although it wasn’t a good thing for everyone; there was the problem of rendering the jobs of most people who were in the paper making industry obsolete, at this point things have generally calmed down regarding that.

“And so? What should I be doing?”

—Right. I will teach you the way, Lilia. I have no idea about things like etiquette or magic, but I am confident that my wealth of knowledge won’t lose to anyone else in this world.

It was certainly big talk. She could not completely believe in such grand words but, even so Sakura seemed more capable than Lilia herself.

“Well then, I’ll look forward to it.”

At receiving a suitable response, Sakura enthusiastically declared to ‘leave it to me’.
Though, they’ll soon find out that Sakura’s words might not necessarily prove to be as flawless as they seem.

For one week, Lilia again remained shut in her room. Just, this time it couldn’t truly be called that, as she never failed to show up in the dining room for meals. Every time she appeared she would receive worry from her parents, and scornful eyes from her elder brother, but ignoring it all Lilia remained completely focused on tackling her studies with Sakura.
Eating. Sleeping. Learning. Every day would roughly consist of a constant cycle of these things. The only exception was in her morning routine.

“It still hasn’t sprouted?”

“It’s just been planted after all.”

At the back of the estate, there was the flowerbed that Lilia and Alisa were taking care of together. Simply watering the soil, Lilia always gazed at the flowerbed without ever getting tired of it. Perhaps thinking such a thing was quite unusual, Alisa would be smiling beside her.

“Miss Lilia. You know, even if you stare at it so much it’s not going to grow any faster.”

Without realising when it began, Alisa had started to call Lilia using her name. Since there weren’t any bad intentions behind it, things simply continued like that.

“I know that of course. Don’t worry about it.”


Though Alisa watched on with a pleasant smile, the reality was a little different from her thinking.
Lilia was doing it simply to lengthen this break of hers, as much as possible. At the very least, she would continue until Sakura said something about it…

—Lilia. It’s about time to get back to studying. We still have a long ways ahead of us you know.

As she expected, Sakura urged her to continue with her studies. Lilia let loose a small sigh, and sluggishly lifted herself up.

“Miss Lilia. You will be studying today as well?”

“Yes. There are still many things I must be taught after all.”

“To be taught…?”

Alisa frowned in doubt at such words, while Lilia hastily cleared her throat. Shaking her head, as if to say she was just talking to herself, Lilia hurriedly escaped back towards her room.

“Bring me something to eat that’s easy to hold later on.”

At the request sent towards Alisa right before disappearing into the mansion, the maid conveyed that she understood, seeing her master off with a bow.

<Previous Chapter | JAONNN! | Next Chapter>

66 thoughts on “Schizophrenia – Chapter 5”

  1. —It was a fact that you were engaged. Even if he’s a prince, he can’t simply let his tears flow, or pretend as if it had meant nothing. Though you may have trouble bearing with such a thing, it’s better if you just watch over him during this tumultuous moment for the prince.
    Isn’t it Sakura saying this part


  2. I think its a nice idea that the solution shes trying to attempt is to change peoples perspectives of her. But concerning how her previous behavior was and the constant years of people impressions of her, it would be a hard and long journey to even change it. The shock from the prince breaking of the engagement would of course show decent signs of change. But people would look at her with scorn and arrogance for quite some time. Shows alot more story and character development. However, i kinda wish the story portrayed more of her previous attitude to show how messed up she was and then show her transforming. I can’t believe im referencing this but its the only example i can think of that i seen recently. But the character from equestria girls sunset shimmer, you see her as the villian and at the height of her worst, then quickly see her fall, then watch her try her best to regain the trust around, then you still see that she trying to maintain that trust. Kinda of a more powerful effect. Dear lord out of all the anime i seen, i cant remember a villian character going through the same process and i know there are some.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hmm, the only similar case that comes to mind right now is Katanagatari for me, though it’s not really developed since the villain development thing is just an after thought put at the end. But yeah, you make a good point. It would be a nice aspect of character development. But since Lilia is a protagonist (probably the main one) it’s questionable as to whether readers would actually enjoy reading about the exploits of a shitty person. I think the reason most stories don’t use this way of introducing villainous/antihero protagonists is that it’s generally not a pleasant thing to read. Sure, snippets can be shown, but doing more than that would serve to turn off a lot of readers.


      1. I don’t think i read that and i still can’t remember any other novels or manga. I don’t know people liked the death flag novel with the guy that has a tsundere mouth, people also liked dead pool, and theres a ton of people that like the the current popular xian xia novel like atg, dop, pmg, mga, demonic king chases his no good wife. I think they can handle a character being shitty for a few chapters for development.


        1. Ah, those are good examples, but I’d say that most of them have reasoning or circumstances that make them act like such, which helps the audience understand the character better. Like Deadpool, sure he’s an asshole, but he’s a charming one, with a reasonable backstory. Pure, unjustifiable shittiness though, is a lot harder for me to stomach even if it’s for the purpose of a plot element. Case in point, Litchi Hikari Club. When I read this, I almost had the urge to throw up at how disgusting these characters were, and not because of any gore it showed (which it did show quite a bit of). Though that’s just my reaction, this manga probably wouldn’t sit well with a lot of other people either. Give reading it a try if you’re curious. It’s quite an extreme case, but I believe that showing characters who act stupid or cruel without any semblance of a justification just serves to turn off audiences. It’s just my two cents on this topic, and personally I’m glad this story was written the way it is.


          1. No im good, gore is a pretty good deterrent for me. Well how about a fast forward of past events showing the major crossroads that the character acted evil without justication while keeping the prologue identical but adding in a sentence with regret such as “i shouldve listened to her”. While going through the past in 2 – 4 chapters until the punishment hit for the mc. Even with justification in the xianxia novels, what alot of them do is still pretty hard to accept. I’m also happy with this novel.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Haha, I’ve thought about that too, and it’s probably the best way to go about it for a story set like this. Well, I haven’t read through the whole thing yet, so we’ll just have to wait and see if the author writes anything like that later on, like as a side story of Lilia reminiscing about how she was in the past.


  3. Thanks 4 the chapter!

    Maybe she could pretend that her previous behavior was to get out of the engagement.


  4. Hmmm~ Is she beeing taught about the nature of Yuri?! Yaoi?! Echi?! Shounen AI?! This… this is glorious! She is already growing her thorny whip… now she also is beeing taught the necessary knowledge! She shall be the unknown S&M queen of vile evilness with her cute…. whatever Sakura is…. as sidejob! Way to go to make the prince regret his choice almighty sakura! xD
    Oh yeah and naturally she is going to learn about some normal stuff too. xD (Actually I am more interested in that but….. yeaaaah the other version I do think is funnier =P)

    Thanks for the chapter~


    1. Fufufu let’s not go there now, I don’t think I can handle translating 200 chapters of such a thing without having my own mind somehow warped ;)


      1. Ah? Indeed your mind might end up warped enough to start translating 24/7…. a great loss for humanity… but a great gain for leechers…. wait one and the same…. whatever! The thought of two hundred chapters filled with Yuri nonsense makes ones rationality say goodbye as fast as possible… as well as ones sanity, but that thing is questionable at best…

        But as you said… it is too soon for all that ….well protected secret knowledge of… lew- er the basic knowledge of the male and female leecher community…. better wait another ten chapters =P


  5. Thanks for the chapter

    I wonder what Lilia is learning.
    If Sakura is teaching her knowledge from our world that doesn’t exist in a magical medieval world, I guess she is learning maths and sciences…
    So is she gonna develop an OP magic that uses the law of physics?
    Well, this is gonna be interesting :p

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep, should be fixed. Be amazed at our error support, with time zones allowing 24 hour editing capabilities! (Not really, but you can thank Este for fixing a lot of my dumb mistakes.)

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Isn’t Sakura being a little bit unreasonable–and naive–by expecting Lilia to have treated the prince and heroine relationship as a ‘little infatuation’ well knowing in the game they ended up together (and married)? I don’t know. let alone Lilia, I doubt there are many young girls that can think of such of thing with an adult’s expression and resolve.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Isn’t Sakura being a bit unreasonable–and naive–in expecting Lilia to treat the relationship between the prince and the heroine as a ‘little infatuation’ well knowing they end up together (possibly married) in the game? Let alone, Lilia, I don’t think there are many young girls who can think of such situation with an adult’s expression and resolve as Sakura tries to explan.


    1. True, but it’s not like Sakura is the god of common sense or anything either. She’s just our lovable meddlesome “angel” after all.


  8. Reading about her mom having invented cheap, high quality paper gave me a funny thought: what if everyone in Lilia’s family is “haunted” like her, but they (understandably) keep it a secret from their other family members?

    Which would also lead to things like “No, I know she’s your daughter/sister and all, but she’s a real piece of shit, don’t go too easy on her.”

    Unlikely (and overly heavy on the whole “Japanese people/morals save the day!”), but still fun.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Though the answer was to be expected, actually hearing it ALISA couldn’t help but feel down. Alisa to Lilia?
    Anyway, many thanks for the chapter!


      1. I think it’s this one. Lilia. It’s about time to get back to studying. We still have a long ways ahead of us you know.


  10. Thanks for your work on this series, the prose and stylistic sense is really enjoyable.

    Though something’s been bugging me for a while: is it really a good idea to just title these with ‘schizophrenia’? I don’t usually get a good response to pointing it out, because fuck disabled people I guess? But I feel like it needs to be said; schizophrenia isn’t a fun word that’s synonymous with ‘crazypants’, it’s a serious medical condition.

    Aside from the concept of using schizophrenia casually in a story about a girl being haunted, it doesn’t even make sense in execution. Hearing voices that acts independently from you is generally associated with splintering, a symptom of traumatic stress. Schizophrenia is a complicated illness associated with executive dysfunction (that thing where your brain has trouble working manually), blunted affect, and speech disorder. Beyond arbitrary attachment to hallucinations, they’re almost nothing alike. It’s like posting a story called “The Young Lady’s Golden Feet Will Carry Her”, about a girl acquiring superpowered legs, and then calling it ‘Paraplegic’. Totally tone-deaf, and grossly inaccurate.

    I feel especially sharply about this since I experienced traumatic splintering through my adolescence (note: it felt a lot like how it goes in this story, so this is actually pretty relatable to read) and explaining ‘I hallucinated voices in my head’ to people who only understand mental illness as ‘hallucinating = schizophrenia = dangerous crazypants’ has always been an excruciating, hair-pulling effort. Even beyond that, though, not making a crack about psychosis is simply good sense.


    1. Hehe, thanks for the refreshing political correctness speech I haven’t met with for a while now (not actually being sarcastic here). That said, while I completely agree with what you pointed out about the incorrect usage of the term (I actually made a joke about the chance of being called out about it in a comment on an earlier chapter) I am fully aware of the modern ethical evolution of trying to undo many misconceptions and stigma that these disorders have garnered over the years. Hell I had to write a psychology paper before on misdiagnosis, as well as social and self influence regarding such labeling, or mislabeling culminating to making sick people worse and misdiagnosed people actually ill through effects like stress and a self fulfilling prophecy. But I am not such a PC sensitive person in reality, and call it what you will, I just can’t see myself changing whatever bit of my personality or humour every time someone has a misgiving about it. I think it’s fine to be a little loose here for a leisure blog on the internet. I certainly do not intend for any offense in my writing, and I hope at least that part is conveyed. Long story short, I sort of understand where you’re coming from, and I respect your opinion, but I like the name and will not be changing it for now. Perhaps in the future I will come up with a new label after this one gets old. I do hope you can overlook it and continue enjoying the story.


      1. I can overlook it, sure, but it’s not really misgivings? It’s basic sociology. People see that you’re using that kind of labelling on a casual blog and can only assume:

        1. that it’s okay to just blithely use serious mental disorders as shorthand for ‘crazypants hallucination’, which contributes to the social stigma of mental illness

        2. as a schizophrenic, someone thinks their emotional value is so little they can affirm #1

        3. as someone who knows what schizophrenia entails, someone thinks a schizophrenic’s emotional value is so little they can affirm #1.

        It is, in short, just doing something ableist for funsies. There’s a billion possible quicktitles like ‘sakughost’ or ‘ghostome’ or ‘duke’s ghost’, and you go with something you know for a fact is tone deaf?? If you get it, don’t be so light-hearted about it! Schizophrenics are treated as subhuman, it’s actually a pretty big problem! Even if it’s a casual blog, it’s still terrible, because Perception #1 still exists. Reaffirming general perceptions is a type of oppression, my guy.


        1. And my point is that in my context it is used in a completely lighthearted and inoffensive way. It is a fact that schizophrenia can come with auditory hallucinations. This is a story about a girl who we can jokingly say is possesed by such hallucinations. The fact that you’re implying this small reference will contribute substantial harm in the public’s perception of mental illness is like saying the content in the work somehow paints a bad image for schizophrenics. Which it does not. You’re asserting there is an issue where reasonably, none should exist. Lilia is portrayed as a normal girl despite her ‘issues’. You saying such light comparisons shouldn’t be made is in fact only solidifying the perception that people with the disease shouldn’t be compared with and considered as normal people. If that’s not stigmatising, then I don’t know what is. In the end, your perception of the issue is your own, and I have my own way of thinking regarding this topic. And once again while I respect the opinion you bring, please don’t assert that your way of thinking is the only ‘right’ way of approaching the topic. I’m not ‘oppressing’ anything, and I don’t agree with you trying to speak for a general group as if your opinion alone represents their perceptions.


          1. Yeah, that’s what we call a microaggression!

            This totally doesn’t matter at all! In a vacuum. But you know, society is complicated, and doing irrelevant, not-worth-commenting-on ableist stuff that isn’t even close to a big deal is still adding small bricks to an impenetrable tower of, ay, oppression! It’s honestly just good sense to shrug and correct yourself when you use a microaggression.

            And I did’t say it was contributing to a negative, hateful concept, it was contributing to the idea ‘schizophrenia = so totally crazy’. Which isn’t hateful at all! But is super harmful anyway, because oppression isn’t generally built on hatred. Almost all oppression is structured around apathy to the suffering of others. Silly jokes are a part of this!

            For example, using the word ‘retard’ casually isn’t regularly a big deal, but because I have a mental disability and have had my suffering dismissed using it, every time I see it I’m reminded that I am, in at least a small respect, totally worthless! When I was a teenager, lolishota culture severely hampered my ability to understand my own childhood sexual abuse, and it messed me up for years, and I still have trouble parsing why it was a bad thing! Even in terms of schizophrenia, the ableism aimed at people with this condition has and still does personally affect me as someone with similar symptoms! Just because you aren’t doing anything actually hateful, isolating, or ‘wrong’ doesn’t mean everything is okay as-is.

            In the end, I’m not particularly offended or worried about it, and I don’t mind at all if you wanna just leave it until you pick up a better title, but I still think it’s nice to have a detailed discussion about how microaggressions work, just in case it’s somehow useful to you in the future. I like communicating clearly about stuff like this. I…may or may not have a complex about being clearly understood, actually.

            Anyway, I didn’t intend a debate (most of this was just over-explaining my point), so if you got it, or don’t want to stress about it, I don’t mind. Even deleting the comments is fine enough. Good luck with the story as it proceeds! I’m looking forward to it!


            1. That’s okay. I do appreciate people who take the time to explain their views clearly instead of just ranting. Perhaps I somewhat misunderstood the connotation behind the words in your second comment. While I too have much to say about this, let’s leave it at that for a comment section discussion. Thanks for reading~


  11. “It was certainly big talk. She could completely believe in such grand words but, even so Sakura seemed more capable than Lilia herself.”

    “It was certainly big talk. She could NOT completely believe in such grand words but, even so Sakura seemed more capable than Lilia herself.”


  12. “—Lilia. You can’t just not return to school you know.”
    Uhhhm. Why not?
    Correct me if I’m wrong, but Lillia either has to do administrative work of a fief or get married off in a political marriage. With the former maybe being optional at best for somebody of her position.

    Even if she wants to be like Lord Kelvin, Antoine Pascal, Blaise Pascal or Ada Lovelace her position allows her the luxury or pursuing that matter of study independently without needing a diploma.


    1. Blah, Antoine Lavoisier, not Pascal. Point is, a lot of major scientists, philosophers and mathematicians were nobles. They could afford to potter around with such things because they were rich.


      1. Frighteningly enough Lilia’s mom, Ascha Aldis, will probably wind up as one of those scientific pioneers for her world.


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