Reika-sama – 104

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If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!


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It was just starting to become cold when the snow began.
I had been excitedly hoping that with all this snow school would be cancelled, but alas, no such announcement came and so I had no choice but prepare to head out.

It was probably quite hard on those who were commuting by train but I was fine and dandy in my car.
Honestly, there wasn’t anything more dangerous than wearing loafers on a snowy day. And it got into your shoes too. Times were hard back in my old life as a commoner.
Only primary schoolers would feel happy about snow.

As I was watching from the comfort of my car, I saw a number of people slip on the snow. It sure was dangerous.

Most students of Zui’ran were driven, but a few of the ones that lived close-by would walk with friends. I caught a few of them here and there. The loafers were sinking into the snow so they were having a hard time of walking.
Despite that, there was a student walking properly through it.

It was Wakaba-chan. Wakaba-chan was wearing rain boots.

Not the plain ones that fishmongers wore. On the side of her boots were flower patterns.

Still, I could respect that she chose practicality over fashion. Just what you’d expect from her.

Wakaba-chan’s nose was all red, and her face was buried in her muffler.

Mufflers…

*

I had the sudden urge to knit a muffler.
I was almost always dropped off by car so there really wasn’t much reason to own one. Except as fashion, that is.
I immediately headed to the Handicrafts Club with some yarn.

Knitting was popular here in winter, so plenty of them were sitting around with knitting needles.
It sure looked fun. I wasn’t very skilled so my knitting was loose or crooked in places.

“Knitting, Reika-sama? Could it be that you had a tangle again?” asked the senpai who became the new Club President.

“No, I was simply thinking of trying a muffler this time.”

“My, a muffler. For your own use? Or were you thinking of giving it as a present to somebody?”

“I had not truly considered it… I just wanted to make one.”

I’m pretty sure even Oniisama or Otousama would be bothered if I foisted one of my mufflers onto them. I had bought some of the softest wool, so I planned to just unravel it at home later.

“Ummm… Speaking of which, Reika-sama, I need to speak to you about something.”

“What might the matter be?”

The Club President seemed like she had a hard time finding the words. I had a bad feeling. Everybody else seemed to be glancing this way too. The feeling was getting worse and worse.

“You’ve really been coming to our club a lot, Reika-sama…”

“Yes…”

Uohhnn, was it finally time? After a year of nonchalantly coming here, it was about time that somebody asked what the heck I was doing here. Despite her gentle face, it seemed the Club President could deal with conflict.
What was I going to do? Huh. What if when she evicted me, I just pretended not to hear…

“Reika-sama, would you like to join our club?”

“Eh!?”

The President gently handed me an application form.

“Last year on the last day of club activities, all of us discussed it. You seem to love handicrafts, and you helped us with the bouquet for the school festival, didn’t you? So we wondered why not have you join us officially.”

They were talking about that during that tea party I wasn’t invited to!?

“May I truly join the club?”

“Yes, of course.”

“…But did you not find me a bother at first?”

“No, not at all!”

The President’s eyes were swimming. I knew it…

“Um, we would be happy too if you joined us, Reika-sama,” one of the members spoke up.

Really? I looked around, only to find the other members nodding with smiles.

After a whole year, I finally got in! I could get rid of the ‘Provisional’ now!

I gripped the application form tightly in my hands.

“I shall join the Handicrafts Club!” I declared.

Everybody clapped in welcome.

Happy! So happy!

My mood suddenly sky-rocketed. So happy I was that before I knew it I had stood up and placed my hands on my hips.

“Then as an official member, I shall spare no effort in working for the club. My first act will be to negotiate with the student council, claim the budget that we deserve, and guarantee a larger and better club room for us!”

“Eh-, nobody really asked for that…”

“Leave it to me, everybody! The most conspicuous location shall be allocated to us, next school festival!”

“Reika-sama, we’re happy the way we are!”

“And being somewhere too eye-catching is a little…”

“Please, Reika-sama! Please quit this…”

My new club members stopped me in a panic.

Oops. The happiness almost ran to my head. The new Club President was already half pulling at my application form. What are you doing? I won’t return it now. I’ll bring it back tomorrow with the stamps on it. Accept it without crushing it, okay?
And to that last girl, you weren’t telling me to quit this club, were you? I’m not leaving this place until graduation.

Today, Kisshouin Reika became a full member of the Handicrafts Club. Uhohooi!

*

*

I texted Aoi-chan and Sakura-chan about my acceptance into the Handicrafts Club.

‘I’m so happy for you! I knew they would see what a good person you were!’ came Aoi-chan’s heart-warming reply.

‘After silently pressuring them for so long, no wonder they folded. As always, stubborn persistence will win the day,’ said Sakura-chan. Sharp-tongued as always.

After that, Sakura-chan mailed me about Maihama-san’s situation. Apparently at Yurinomiya she was all but boasting that she was Emperor’s girlfriend. She told everybody about how Emperor’s mother, and the woman he idolised as an older sister had already approved of her.

“Uheeh~”

Maihama-san sure was running her mouth, just because she went to a different school. Had this happened at Zui’ran she would have been lynched in a day.

Even though she had only come to pick him up from Zui’ran the one time, according to Sakura-chan’s information, she had gone to the Kaburagi house a number of times.

Anyhow, maybe thanks to Enjou’s encouragement, Kaburagi was slowly getting better. The damage still seemed quite deep though because he hadn’t taken care of Maihama-san yet.

Being perfectly honest, I think the best way to get him his energy back would be to hold a snowball tournament.
It wouldn’t be surprising, considering the way he treated cavalry battles. I could already see him gathering an army of follows, and shouting “Left and right wings, flank them!”
I doubted that the school would organise a snowball tournament just for his sake though.

Going back to Maihama-san though, she was kind of like a mini Kimidol-Kisshouin Reika, wasn’t she.

*

After officially joining the club I wanted to be a model member, so I made sure to come each day and furiously knitted away. Thanks to that my scarf had become oddly long and was kind of a weird shape, so I converted it into a lap blanket instead.
Once it was done though it wasn’t very good, so I gave it to Otousama.
Of course, the tanuki got ahead of himself, and said “Reika is such a daddy’s girl,” pissing me off.
And then I heard from his secretary Sasajima-san about how he was running around showing the thing off, so right now I was in the middle of deep, profound regret…


By the way, a reminder that they used emails with their phones over there. Like, they never used SMS texting, it was always a changeable email-address registered to the phone number.


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Reika-sama – 103

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!

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Bara (薔薇, “rose“), also known by the wasei-eigo construction “Men’s Love” (ML メンズラブ, “menzu rabu”), is a Japanese technical term for a genre of art and fictional media that focuses on male same-sex love usually created by gay men for a gay audience.


Mount Hiei is a mountain to the north-east of Kyoto, lying on the border between the Kyoto and Shiga Prefectures, Japan.
Enryaku-ji is a Tendai monastery located atop Mount Hiei by the monk Saichou in 788.
Mount Kouya is the name of mountains in Wakayama Prefecture to the south of Osaka. First settled in 819 by the monk Kuukai, Mt. Kouya is primarily known as the world headquarters of the Kouyasan Shingon sect of Japanese Buddhism.

Saigyou was the name of a monk said to have created an artificial human. Recalling tales of lonely ogres gathering human bones to create a person, Saigyou was said to have used the secret necromantic séance teachings of the Tokudaiji noble house to create a human from human bone remains.


I met Aira-sama in a café the next Sunday in the early afternoon.

“Sorry for making you come out here, Reika-chan.”

“There is nothing to apologise for. Being able to meet with you is a pleasure.”

I ordered a latte. This café did latte art, so I asked for a sheep.

“Cute sheep. Speaking of which, you wore sheep ears during the school festival didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

The reception that my sheep butler costume received was surprisingly good, so I had become a little fond of sheep since. Hmm, it was a bit of a shame to ruin this by drinking it.
While I was appreciating my latte art, Aira-sama began speaking hesitantly.

“So you see, I’m sure you’ve already guessed why I’ve called you out today. It’s about Yurie and Masaya.”

Here it was… I had pretty much guessed it. I took a gentle sip to avoid ruining the sheep. It was delicious.

“You’ve noticed too that Masaya’s been acting strangely, right?”

“…Yes.”

After seeing that it would be stranger if anybody failed to notice. He was like an empty cicada shell of himself. Even if I had somehow missed that, Enjou had already told me about how he went on a journey, and then handed over those unlucky souvenirs.

“You see, Yurie has finally given him her decision.”

“Aahh…”

I thought so…

“Yurie cares about Masaya a great deal as well, but it’s always been the love for a younger brother. That’s why she thought it was about time to make things clear. I mean, the two of us are already twenty. In a sense you could say she was taking responsibility.”

“Hahhh…”

It was more or less the same in Kimidol. ‘I can’t see you as anything other than a brother, so I can’t answer your feelings’ or something. Kaburagi had still replied “No! I won’t give up!” and was pretty persistent about it. In the very end though, Yurie-sama wouldn’t take back her words, for both their sakes.

“It happened a little while after the school festival. Truthfully though, Yurie’s been trying put some distance between them since Masaya entered high school. She’s been trying to create chances for him to notice other girls as well. Remember the girl she brought with her to the school festival?”

“Ah, Maihama Ema-san.”

“Right. The two of them studied under the same tea master and go back quite a while. Ema-san looks up to Yurie and adores Masaya too, and has been to his house a few times with Yurie. Since Yurie dotes on her, Masaya can’t flat-out reject her either…”

“I see…”

“Originally we had planned to come with just Yurie and I but Ema-san came along to the school festival as well. Masaya was really unhappy about that. He had planned to walk around with Yurie but then Ema-san was stuck to him the whole time instead. And then later when he went to Yurie’s house to visit, Ema-san was there again… Eventually the stress built up and he demanded that Yurie tell him what was going on.”

“…”

“And so Yurie told him that she could only see him as a little brother and asked him to give up on her. It went something along the lines of telling him that her feelings wouldn’t change no matter how much he pined after her. She thought it was a good opportunity to set things straight.”

“So the exam results…”

“…Yeah. Masaya of all people dropped ranks, didn’t he. I heard about it later. Yurie was worried too. What’s worse is that after that a young man we met in the UK came to Japan on business. Yurie and I had gone to welcome him, but then Masaya saw. He assumed that Yurie had said all that because she had found a boyfriend and flipped out. The guy took a lot of care of us while we were overseas so Yurie was furious at how rude Masaya had been. So she went and said, ‘Who I date is none of your business, Masaya! I don’t want to see you anymore!’ Of course, they weren’t actually dating, you see.”

“I see…”

So that’s why he went on his journey.
But wow, Kaburagi hadn’t matured since primary school at all. It was the same mistake all over again.

“Did Shuusuke tell you that Masaya went missing? We had a decent idea of where he had gone, but Yurie was white as a sheet what with the destination and all. She came crying to me that she hadn’t expected him to take it that badly and asked me what to do. Shuusuke spent each day talking Masaya down until he knew enough to go pick Masaya up… Ojisama and Obasama were obviously horrified and wanted to know what happened to their son, so it was chaos over there too. Yurie’s been depressed and guilty towards them and told me that she couldn’t face them. It’s been a horrible start to the year.”

To think that while I was nomming on red bean soup and New Year’s mochi broth, these guys were going through something like this

“Anyhow, we managed to somehow bring Masaya home, and you remember his cold? Because of that he had to call off the rest of his journey, but he’s been completely listless, like a different person. We’ve all been really worried.”

“I see.”

This went into a lot more detail than I expected… I wasn’t liking where this was going.

“Are you certain that you should be telling an outsider like me about all this?”

I made sure to stress ‘outsider’. Not that I thought it would save me at this point…

Aira-sama leant forward and continued.

“You see, I was hoping you could lend your help in getting Masaya back on his feet. Please, Reika-chan.”

“I question what aid I could possibly lend… The two of us are not particularly close, after all. What if you asked Maihama-san, or…?”

Aira-sama shook her head and took my hands into hers.

“That’s not true. I know you can do it, Reika-chan! Back at the school festival the only time Masaya stopped looking moody was when he saw you in your butler outfit. He said something about you not listening to what he said at all. Masaya rarely shows any interest in any girl that isn’t Yurie, you know!”

He wasn’t interested in me so much as in pointing out why my costume was bad, though.

“And I feel a little bad for saying this, but I don’t think Ema-san could move Masaya’s heart,” she declared.

“Ah, but~”

“Please, Reika-chan! Yurie’s been feeling responsible for it all and has been in really bad shape. Couldn’t you give Masaya some advice or something to cheer him up? Please?”

Uuuu… It was really hard to refuse Aira-sama like this…
But I didn’t wanna do itttt. I had no idea how to cheer somebody like that up, and to begin with I didn’t want to get involved.

“Reika-chan.”

“Uu… I understand.”

────I had taken the first step into a bottomless bog.

*

*

Advice… What kind of advice was I even supposed to give?
Ways to get over heartbreak? This was actually the best chance for him to start a new love with Wakaba-chan, but there were no signs of that at all.
What if I tried spurring Wakaba-chan on? No, no, it wouldn’t do to cross any more dangerous bridges than I already had.
Oh, how about…

“Umm, Kaburagi-sama?”

I called out to Kaburagi while he was sitting blankly in the salon. Sitting next to him, Enjou smiled.

“Why not leave behind the troubles of the material world and join one of the strictly male convents in Europe? How about it? The World of Roses awaits you.”

“…”

“Kisshouin-san, could I have a word with you?” smiled Enjou as he grabbed my arm and pulled me away.

“Why exactly does Masaya have to get a tonsure and join a convent? And in Europe too.”

“As a scion of the Kaburagi house, I believed it suitable for him to go to the true home of convents.”

“Vetoed.”

Wow, somebody’s being picky.

I returned to Kaburagi for another try.

“Kaburagi-sama, Japan has Mount Hiei and Mount Kouya. How about it? Throw away your worldly ties, shave your head, and enter the service of the Buddha. I think the shaved-look would suit you very well, Kaburagi-sama. You might even get a chance to meet Saigyou’s homunculus.”

“…”

“Kisshouin-san, could I have a word with you?” said Enjou, grabbing my arm a little stronger than last time and pulling me away. “Do you think you could maybe step away from advice that involves running away from home? Kisshouin-san, you’re really just trying to seal something troublesome far away, aren’t you?”

“Goodness, no! I thought that it might be best if he had a change of pace. My intentions are entirely pure.”

“Liar.”

How mean. Doubting people’s sincerity like that is just proof that his own heart is twisted.

“A tonsure… Monkhood…” we heard Kaburagi mutter.

“You see? Kaburagi-sama seems to be interested as well. Kaburagi-sama, I personally recommend the tonsure!”

“Kisshouin-san, that’s enough out of you.”

Despite the efforts I used to come up with this advice, Enjou shooed me away. I thought it was pretty good advice too.
I only wanted the best for him.

*

‘We’ll do something about Masaya on our own. Thanks.’

said a message from Aira-sama.

Goodness, is that so? I apologise for not being able to help.


Based Reika.


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Reika-sama – 102

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!

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Woke up at 4. Couldn’t go back to sleep. Translated a Kenkyo chapter, bitch niggas. Okay, going to work now, bye.


Kurikinton is candied chestnuts mixed in mashed sweet potatoes and candied chestnut syrup and is considered a traditional New Year food.

I was eating kurinkinton on New Years when I came to a shocking realisation.
Could it be that Kaburagi had been rejected by Yurie-sama!?
What if those test scores were the result of being in such shock that he couldn’t concentrate. And then because of that he went on a journey to deal with the heartbreak.
Whoa, I’m so sharp this year…
But that wasn’t what happened in Kimidol. I mean, he never went on any journey in the manga, and he should have been rejected after he was a little closer with Wakaba-chan.

Hmmm… Maybe the story had changed from the manga a little bit. To begin with, the main perpetrator of the bullying campaign was sitting here eating.
And it felt like the personalities of the main characters were a little different too. The Emperor who I fangirled over in the manga would absolutely never have had such a deviant-level of passion towards cavalry battles, nor was he some weirdo athletics carnival maniac who would criticise others over their lack of animal noses for the costume race. He was cooler. And Enjou had been the kind and gentle person who watched over Emperor and Wakaba-chan, not this scheming bastard. To begin with, just failing to have honey-brown hair was a departure from the manga.
Also… it kind of felt like Wakaba-chan had become… little bit of a dope…

Why was it, I wondered. Why had all the main characters turn into such unfortunate alternates of their manga selves.
And on the other hand, people who hadn’t appeared at all in the manga like Oniisama and Imari-sama and Tomoe-senpai were so damned cool! If they had been in Kimidol they would have been so popular too! Especially Tomoe-senpai. He’s cool like the manga Emperor had been.
With all these other irregularities, would things progress differently than the manga? Well, as long as my own life was nice and quiet I didn’t particularly care though.
Anyhow, I saved away all of the New Years money that I got. Although the one that I got from Oniisama was going to be enshrined next to my bed.

*

Kaburagi wasn’t there at the Term 3 opening ceremony. Was he still on his journey?
Even the middle schoolers were talking about his absence by now. It was astounding how one student truanting could have such an effect.
When I went to the salon, Enjou was there for the first time in a while. He was surrounded by people asking about Kaburagi.

“Masaya caught a cold during the New Year, so he’s been resting. He should be back at school in a few days.”

A cold? Had he finally returned from dealing with heartbreak? No, no, it’s not like I knew for sure that he had been rejected. He could have been purely soul searching. Not that I personally held much stock in going on a journey to do so…

When Enjou spotted me, he excused himself and came over.

“Happy New Year, Kisshouin-san.”

“Happy New Year, Enjou-sama.”

Enjou led me to somewhere there were less people and then handed me some kind of sack.

“Here, this is for you. Technically a souvenir from when I went here and there to fetch Masaya. Actually your hush money.”

Eh… This is kind of scary.

“…I, thank you for the consideration.”

And so with a smile, Enjou handed over the most unwanted gift.

So Enjou actually went out to get Kaburagi. And by ‘here and there’, that means he had to go to a lot of different places? Even during the busy New Year, he was still so serious about his friendships. Whatever else, he was actually pretty good at looking after others.

“You mentioned that Kaburagi-sama was down with a cold?”

“Yeah. He’s at home resting right now, actually. He went somewhere awfully cold, you see. But I guess it’s true what they say about sickness beginning with the heart. He was really weakened.”

“I see…”

Somewhere awfully cold?

Sickness beginning with the heart?

Then he really did go on a heartbreak journey!?

If he was somewhere cold, then I suppose it must have been northern Europe or Russia maybe. Oh, but wouldn’t it be pretty bad to have Emperor Napoleon travel to Russia?
But imagining Kaburagi travelling the Siberian Tundra was kind of funny in a way. I pictured him discovering a mammoth. Uppftpfftt.

“But he’s not feverish so he’ll be fine in no time. Once Masaya’s back, I’ll leave things to you.”

“…Huhu?”

I had no idea what he was on about, so I just laughed to avoid the subject.

*

*

When I got home, I opened up Enjou’s souvenir bag.

“Toujinbou Cookies”

Toujinbou is a well-known place in Japan to commit suicide. According to statistics, as many as 25 people commit suicide by jumping off the 70-foot-high cliffs annually.

“Kegon Falls Shortbread”

The Kegon Falls are infamous for suicides, especially among Japanese youth.

“Sea of Trees Manjuu”

Aokigahara, also known as the Suicide Forest or Sea of Trees borders Mt. Fuji. Statistics vary, but there were around up to 105 documented suicides a year.

I’m sorry for laughing at you, Kaburagi…
Who would have thought that you’d try and go even further in your journey… Kaburagiii… Come back!!
But to think the journey taken by the esteemed scion of the Kaburagi not even failed to leave Japan, but failed to even leave our Honshu island. It was a little surprising.

*

*

A few days later, for the first time in about a month, Kaburagi showed up. He looked exhausted.
His skin looked dull, and his eyes were dead. Uwahh… This settles it…
He was difficult to approach, but in a totally different way now. Nobody was sure what to do. I pretended I didn’t see him.
Most people thought he was like that because he had just fought off an illness, but that was absolutely wrong. Also some of the girls were talking about how his exhausted self was dreamy as well.
I was depressed too when my love for Tomoe-senpai didn’t work out, but even I wasn’t that bad. A lot of it probably came down to how unlike my crush of a few months, his was over ten years.
Sometimes it was a bit painful to see normally energetic people weak, wasn’t it. Kaburagi, it’s time for a new love, damnit! You’ve got a destined love named Wakaba-chan right here!

Speaking of Wakaba-chan, she still couldn’t hide her happiness at the results of that last exam. Her scholarship was relying on it after all.
While the whole school was worrying about Kaburagi, Wakaba-chan didn’t seem to care at all. I suppose sometimes she did look at bit confused about the mood though.
Since they weren’t in contact, he wouldn’t vent on her. To begin with, he didn’t seem to have the energy to do that.

*

Maihama-san came to pick Kaburagi up. Normally he would have totally ignored her, but this time he didn’t resist as she took his arm and brought him into the care.
Plenty of people had seen Maihama-san during the school festival, so there was a huge fuss when they saw the two going home together.

“Who is that girl!?”

“Maihama Ema from Yurinomiya! Apparently because she’s close to Yurie-sama she’s been clinging to Kaburagi-sama!”

“How could Kaburagi-sama go home with any girl other than Yurie-sama!”

Uwaa, uwaah, it’s pandemonium.
Everyone was making faces like ogres!
Even the girls in my group were narrowing their eyes dangerously in the direction of the departed car. Serika-chan and Kikuno-chan were spouting curses.
Kaburagi, are you really okay…? Speaking of which, where on earth was Enjou?
I looked around but he was simply staring severely in that direction as well.
All of this was making me kind of scared, so I pretended not to notice and quietly slipped away.

*

*

That night, Aira-sama sent me a text saying that she wanted to meet and talk.
My stomach was hurting again for the first time in a while.


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Turf War – Chapter 18

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ.

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Chapter 18 – Working towards an amiable conclusion (Finale)

After having Pervert(Niel) take Timu back to her room, I returned to find the pandemonium still there. Or was frantically begging Mum, “Don’t stab me!” while Mum was completely ignoring that and continuing to interrogate him with the knife.

And then…

Ah boy, Or finally broke into tears.

“Mum! How can you just bully the weak like that!”

“T-Tilea, ah, um, you’re wrong. The truth is he’s actually――”

“…Mum. Please, let’s just all calm down.”

“N-No, um, he’s a powerful noble and…”

“Mum, do you reaaally think that this is still some act?” I pointed at the pathetic sight of Or.

Huge droplets of tears were running down his face and a flood of mucus was joining it.

This is your Fiend?

If this really was some sort of act it deserved some kind of next-level Academy award. If Mum was right and he really was some kind of gangster, I don’t think I’d be able to trust anyone anymore.

After seeing this, did Mum really still think he was still somebody from the criminal underworld? Please just see reality already.

I turned a somewhat condemning gaze at her. Thankfully she seemed to have calmed down a little. I watched as she awkwardly sheathed her knife. Or watched her with relief too.

Isn’t that great, Or? You must have been so scared.

I patted the sniffling Or on the shoulder.

“Uuuu, hic, T-Tilea-sama~”

“Now, now. Don’t I always say it? A grown man shouldn’t cry anymore,” I consoled with my maternal instinct on full throttle.

Apparently Mum had realised her mistake after watching the two of us. She wasn’t glaring at Or suspiciously anymore, for one thing. I could even see a bit of guilt in her expression.

“I-, I suppose can’t really… see this as an act.”

“Right? Or really is this pathetic.”

“B-, But even if he’s pathetic right now… he might still try to get revenge for this later…”

Mumu, was Mum still doubting him?

“Or, are you thinking about taking revenge for today?”

“O-Outrageous. W-, Why would I ever think of doing something so foolish…? Impossible. Absolutely impossible. I-, I-, just how can I get you to trust me…? Uuuu, hic-!”

And now he was crying again. Mum, please, it’s reached the level of bullying already.

“Aahh, you made him cry, Mum.”

“…I’m sorry.”

Or was so pitiful that Mum finally apologised. Finally, the misunderstanding was solved.

“And that settles it.”

I let out a relieved sigh.

“Tilea, I know now that Ortissio-san might not bad person. The problem of the debt still hasn’t gone again, though.”

“But I already told you, Or said he doesn’t care about that.”

“Tilea! You can’t just take advantage of his kindness like this. If a kind-hearted person like Ortissio-san is bankrupted because of you, how are you going to take responsibility!”

Oh boy. Somehow the situation had done a 180 and now I was the bad guy. She was treating me like some wicked daughter who scammed the kind-hearted Ortissio.

W-, Well, I might not have been intending it but it’s true that Or was financially supporting me.

Huh? Then wasn’t I like the Fiend? ――Nono, I’d deal with the debt somehow. Yes, it was a debt in the billions, but Dryas-kun would definitely have a plan.

“Aahh~ Mum, about that. It’s not me or Or you should be asking, but the brains of this operation.”

“And who might the brains be?”

“And elf named Dryas-kun. He’s super smart. He’ll definitely find a way for us to make the billions back.”

“Tilea, you have an Elf of the Forest working here? The elves are an exclusive bunch. To lend any help to a human…”

“Oh, surprised, Mum? Huhu, it’s amazing, right? But it’s true.”

“I can’t believe it… But even if one of the elves really was here, would he even understand how to manage a shop?”

“That’s why Dryas-kun is so amazing. You know, Dryas-kun isn’t just wise in the ways of the forest; he’s incredible in anything he does.”

“And such an amazing person is willing to help you?”

“Of course. The proof is in the pudding! Let me just bring him here. You just have some tea while you wait, okay, Mum?”

And so I headed downstairs to explain the situation to him; Mum wanted him to explain the plan to revive the restaurant.

“As my lady commands,” he immediately replied.

God, how I hated his hot-guy voice.

Anyhow, he and Mum ended up speaking in private.

Almost an hour later――

Mum and Dryas-kun emerged from the room. Not that I was worried. This was Dryas-kun. Obviously he had some sort of plan.

Now then, I wonder how it went.

“Mum, there was no problem, right?”

“Yes, yes. Dryas-san is fantastic!”

H-Huh. Mum seemed oddly excited. She was really singing his praises.

You’re pretty good, Dryas. Even seducing married women, you’re not just a hot guy for show.

…Damnit, something this was really frustrating. Maybe I’ll blow you up with some explosion magic!

I reflexively glared at him jealously. Still, Dryas-kun simply returned my gaze with a smile. Returning glares of enmity with a bright smile. Just how much of a hot guy are you.

Well whatever. How did the debt thing go?

“Well? About the debt?…”

“He had a ground-breaking plan, and took into account the long-term consequences as well. With a plan like that you can definitely get your money back.”

I see. Maybe instead of talking to me I should have just sent her to Dryas-kun from the start.

“Sorry about this, Dryas-kun. It seems like I made you do a lot of work.”

“Not at all. For your sake I wouldn’t shy from any amount of work.”

With that, Dryas-kun headed back underground. Even as he left he was giving off this ‘cool guy’ aura. If I thought like a woman, maybe I’d have fallen for him already.

“Tilea, Mum can finally rest easy.”

“See? Dryas-kun is reliable.”

“Huu♪ I wonder if Dryas-san has a girlfriend.”

“Gosh~ Who knows. But he’s hot so maybe he does.”

“Huhu, you’ll have to try harder too, Tilea.”

“Huh? Mum, are you misunderstanding something?”

“Uhuhu, your mum is very understanding of interspecies relations.”

“Mum――”

“Will my first grandchild be a half-elf? …I’m sure they’d be cute, just like you two are.”

Mum gazed in the direction Dryas-kun had left in as though she were looking at her future grandchild.

M-Mum, stop that. Just Loser(Bizef) was bad enough.

Oh, but if I had a child with Remilia-san, they certainly would be a half-elf.

■ ◇ ■ ◇

Sera was at a loss. The terrifying Ortissio had been reduced to a wailing child.

Why?

It’s true that I had some experience in jobs in the like of an adventurer. I had picked up my knife skills during those times. But my ability was still barely better than an amateur’s.

Why did he look so scared then?

No, don’t be fooled, Sera!

His attitude only changed after my daughter appeared. He seemed incredibly invested in fooling her. I had to find out the truth. It was obvious that he was acting pathetic for the purpose of deceiving her.

Hahhh, I really had to apologise to her later. This man was an exceptional actor. His sobbing face was incredibly believable. I had come here thinking Tilea was fooled because she was an air-head but anyone would be fooled by a man like this.

“Quit with the acting, and show us the real you!”

I made thrusting motions with the knife. Of course I hadn’t really planned on stabbing him. It was just a threat. I was going to drag out the true nature of this swindler. Maybe then Tilea would open her eyes.

And so I desperately continued to threaten him. I even made sure to grind his pride as a noble into bits.

Ortissio’s attitude wouldn’t change.

I decided to step it up. I said something that crossed the line.

Perhaps it was a bit much… Honestly, it wouldn’t be strange for him to flip out and attack me.

It was scary. What would he do? Nobles were vicious like nothing else. My mind flashed back to the various atrocities of the Fiend.

But it would be worth it if I could get my daughter to wake up. Even if he did attack, I would fight. Outside was Nielsen-san, and most importantly we had Bizef-san here in the Capital. If Ortissio revealed himself, I would have Tilea come find Bisef-san for help. My safety wasn’t as important as getting her to see the truth.

But contrary to my expectations, Ortissio simply single-mindedly apologised. This man was truly patient. Even after I had provoked him so much he never resisted. That wasn’t normal. Especially so for the masses of pride that powerful aristocrats were. Ordinarily at least some violence would have been expected.

He wouldn’t change. Ortissio continued to beg for forgiveness.

C-Could it be… Ortissio was really just a timid young man with more money than sense? If he was the kind of person Tilea described…

No, but that couldn’t be. Just a while ago I saw something in him that even the legendary Fiend didn’t have. It was just that I couldn’t prove it.

None of this was working. I had no choice but to resolve myself.

At this point nothing else would work. It didn’t matter if I became a criminal.

I started to really stab at him. Not aiming for grievous harm, but to cut him. Even a kind person would snap. No matter how patient this man was, even he had to have limits.

But again, contrary to expectations, Ortissio didn’t fight back. Each time I stabbed at him he just continued to plea, “Stop! Please stop!”

……

…………

………………

C-, Could I really have misunderstood…?

I reluctantly lowered the knife. I did continue to provoke him but none of it gave any fruit.

And then, finally, Ortissio, no, Ortissio-san began to cry. It seems he really, really truly, didn’t want me to stab him. “How can you just bully the weak like that!” Tilea said reprovingly, looking at me with a gaze that seemed to said ‘Goodness me.’

Ortissio-san was heaving and sobbing into my daughter’s chest. I had to admit, I hadn’t ever met, or even ever heard of a member of the criminal underworld act in such a pathetic manner.

I-, It seemed that I had erred.

It must have been my imagination earlier. Perhaps I projected onto him because of the memories I had of powerful nobles.

It seemed like I had really wronged him.

I apologised. Ortissio-san finally looked relieved.

Aah~ I really made a show of myself. Ortissio-san wasn’t fooling Tilea. I understood that now.

But I still had concerns. If he wasn’t trying to fool my daughter, then why did he hand her to much money? And before he had been calling her “Tilea-san” but by now it was “Tilea-sama! Tilea-sama!”

Why was a noble going this far to abase himself in front of her?

Gasp! So that’s why!

Ortissio-san was in love with Tilea.

Once the idea hit me, I began to really examine him. The way Ortissio-san looked at my daughter was like he was intoxicated. It was almost as though he was looking at a goddess or something.

S-Speaking of which, this reminded me of somebody I used to know. He was the lazy, useless son of a certain merchant family. He was a nice guy, but he liked to show off and was a bit of a fop.
One day he started showering money on this woman from a bar. So much that it was throwing away his fortune. He was a pitiful man. The woman had skilfully cajoled him with sweet words and an ensnaring voice. Nobody could understand why he would go so far for a woman like that, but the person himself retorted,

“You can’t find a woman like that anywhere else.”

Tilea, you’ve unknowingly done the same things as that wicked woman did. Of course I don’t think of you as the type of person who would purposefully cheat men out of their money. I don’t think you would, that you would have it in you. Or even that you be interested.

But you’ve unintentionally ensnared him. Ortissio-san really would bankrupt himself without a care for you, you know?

Do you understand, Tilea? You’ve messed up a man’s life.

Tilea had no idea what I was thinking, happily chatting away to Ortissio-san.

Hahh. Tilea’s lack of awareness was vicious in its own way. Even though her personality was the complete opposite of a seductress…

“Tilea! You can’t just take advantage of his kindness like this. If a kind-hearted person like Ortissio-san is bankrupted because of you, how are you going to take responsibility!” I scolded her.

Her response was something else I’d never expect. Apparently the brains behind this restaurant was somebody else, and that person was going to take responsibility. Not only that, but apparently they were one of the revered Elves of the Forest. I couldn’t hide my anxiety at yet another involved party being introduced.

Elves were very insular people. Why was my daughter surrounded by so many oddballs. My daughter was going on about how the elf was “the ultimate brainiac” and her “strategist”. I supposed the elves were known for knowing a lot about the forest.

But what did they know about management?

My mind was filled with questions. But Tilea seemed absolutely sure of him. Maybe it was a good idea to simply meet him first.

I told her that I wanted to speak to him without interruptions. She responded happily.

Before long she brought the elf along. He had sleek blue hair and a tall frame, appearing with incredible dignity.

W-, What beautiful features…

His almond-shaped eyes were clear but filled with intelligence, and although I had heard of the elves’ famed beauty, this man seemed like a step above the rest.

“It is my honour to make your acquaintance. My name is Dryas Bo Malferand.”

“T-, The honour is mine. My daughter has been in your care. My name is Sera.”

We began with some small-talk but even then I could feel his intelligence. When we moved onto the main purpose of the conversation, I was shocked.

A-, Amazing! He was so amazing!

Dryas-san was intelligent, too intelligent, and the advice he gave was astounding and spot-on. I brought up my concern about the continued existence of the store and he brought up plan after plan to tackle the issue. And not only in highly plausible ways, but with methods that I would never have dreamed of.

Before I knew it I had lost track of time as I spoke with him.

Eventually our conversation ended.

Honestly speaking, I had never met anybody as talented as he was. I hoped he would continue looking over my daughter.

I turned to him.

“Dryas-san, I hope that you’ll continue looking after my daughter.”

“Of course. I intend to give my life in supporting your Ojousama,” he replied with confidence.

A man like him really could support my daughter from behind. Apparently Dryas-san had been driven from his elven village when my daughter had warmly welcomed him in. As thanks for that, he was helping out Tilea with the store. What a tale of duty.

He was handsome and polite. He could immediately understand my point or concerns, and answered with those considerations in mind. Not only was he modest, he was also brimming with confidence.

Originally I thought of Bizef-san as the best choice for her, but it seems that an unexpected dark horse had appeared. And my daughter didn’t seem too unhappy with him either. There was the problem of species to be sure, but it was a minor detail in the end. With a girl missing as many screws as Tilea, the more responsible the man, the better.

Dryas-san left, and then a number of Tilea’s other acquaintances game to greet me.

When that was over, Tilea and I had tea as we chatted for a while. I decided to casually ask how her relationship with Dryas-san was.

“Tilea, I mentioned this earlier but your Mum doesn’t have any problems with elves, you know? Don’t you feel the same way?”

“Mn, I don’t mind either, Mum. Far from it, elves are actually my favourite species.

“I knew it!”

“Ah, but Mum, listen, it’s true that I like elves but Dryas-kun is――”

“Ahh~ I thought so. My grandchild as a half-elf. I’m sure they’ll be so cute.”

“Yeah. Mn, I’m hoping that my kids will be half-elves too. But you know? Dryas-kun and I aren’t like that at all, okay?”

Tilea continued to deny any relationship with Dryas-san. My daughter was honest, and adorable for it. But whenever it came to romance she was clumsy and awkward. I suppose I couldn’t blame her for being hesitant about such an incredible man.

Alright. I decided that as a mother I had to support her all the way!


“Of course. I intend to give my life in supporting your Ojousama.”

Ojousama is used, but it’s more like saying ‘the young miss’. Only I didn’t want to use that because it sounds a lot more distant than it necessarily has to be.

Oh, also Sera refers to elves as ‘elf-san’, indicating a certain amount of respect for them. Maybe because they’re like, semi-legendary amongst the humans or something, like reclusive wisemen? Not enough to justify a ‘Lord’ or the awkwardness of ‘-sama’ in the translation, but enough to earn capitalisation for Elves of the Forest.

Maybe it’s kind of like how the Nords respect the Greybeards.


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Reika-sama – 101

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If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!

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A little while after the school festival, Sakura-chan contacted me.

“I heard that Maihama Ema came to Zui’ran.”

“Mmn. Do you know her? She goes to your school, right?”

“We go to the same school. We are not close. Take care around Maihama Ema. That girl doesn’t hold back against girls that she doesn’t like. There are plenty of her victims in Yurinomiya.”

“Oh okay. Wait, don’t tell me that she’s bullied you too?”

“Hah? Who?”

Thouught soo~ Even I couldn’t pick a fight with Sakura-chan and win…

“I saw Maihara Ema sticking around that famous Emperor so I was wondering if she was causing you problems, Reika. She’s been going around Yurinomiya boasting about how close she is with your Emperor.”

“Huuh~”

She did get invited to the tea party, and Yurie-sama seemed to know her well too, so maybe she was relatively close with him, but the guy himself seemed to have no desire to deal with her.
Ah, well. As long as it didn’t harm me.

*

*

So anyhow, the school festival ended on a nice note. I chatted with friends as usual. Sometimes I would go to the Handicrafts Club, and sometimes I’d drink tea in the salon. It was a peaceful autumn.
After a whole month like that, the term-end exams began. I studied desperately hard with Marin-sensei and on my own as well, and took the test with incredible vigour. It was the hardest I had ever studied since entering high school here. Maybe I could even reach the top 30!

A few days later the results were announced, and the school was hit with a bombshell.

1. Takamichi Wakaba
2. Enjou Shuusuke
3. Mizusaki Arima

Kaburagi’s name wasn’t there.
Why, Emperor!? You’ve fallen more than thirty places in one go!? Did you forget to write your name or something!? Did you shift all your multiple choice answers down a box!?

Far from just the first years, even the upperclassmen were speculating about what happened to the perfect His Majesty the Emperor.
And the Emperor himself hadn’t come to school.
I joined in on the discussion too, while giving the leader-board another once over. My name wasn’t there.
When I got my report card back it said I was rank 31.
…I was really too unlucky.

*

Emperor didn’t come to school in the next few days either.
At first people whispered about him falling ill, but nothing was ever made clear. As for his best friend Enjou, the guy wouldn’t say anything either. Thanks to that it seemed like everybody had their own explanation.
He never appeared at the salon either. I could see our members growing worried.

Really though, what on earth was up with him. Was the shock from falling in rankings so bad that he changed schools or something!? Ah-! Was he skipping school because he didn’t want to do remedials!?
Hmmmmmm… Huh? Speaking of which, when was the last time I even saw those two? Before the exams the salon was basically closed, and before that was…
…Well whatever.

More importantly, for some reason Kaburagi’s fall from grace and absence was directly a lot of criticism towards Wakaba-chan.

‘Not only did she steal first place while the Emperor was sick, she even went and took Enjou-sama’s place!’

But how was that even her fault?

And I guess it was a pretty bad idea of hers to be happily shouting “First place!” while half the girls were in shock about Emperor not being up there. Kaburagi and Enjou fans began talking about how she did something or other to take 1st place from them. Complete nonsense.
Worse yet, the new president of the Pivoine was a Pivoine supremacist. Losing face to a commoner like Wakaba-chan was something incredibly unamusing to them.
Wakaba-chan, your position went to hell in an instant! Are you going to be okay!?

*

I was heading to the Handicrafts Club by myself when I crossed paths with Enjou, who was carrying his bag and heading to a car.
Ugh…

“Gokigen’yoh, Enjou-sama.”

I wanted nothing more than to ignore him, but I was a human being so I at least gave him a greeting.

“Hey, Kisshouin-san.”

He was smiling, but his face looked a little tired.

“You seem weary. Are you all right?”

“Hm? Oh, I’m fine. I’ve just got a lot of things going on, you know?”

I’ll bet you do. Right now the school is talking about nothing except your ‘things going on’.

“Are you curious too, Kisshouin-san? About what’s happening with Masaya.”

“Eh?”

Honestly speaking I was a little. Who wouldn’t be, with all this fuss? But curiosity killed the cat.

“No. I simply worry that he is in ill-health.”

“Ill health, huh…”

“Ummm… might he have truly fallen ill?”

“He’s… not well, in a sense. I’m not really sure myself.”

“Eh!?”

Not sure? Aren’t you supposed to be his best friend!?

“I haven’t really seen him, you see.”

“…Were you unable to visit him while he was ill?”

“Kisshouin-san, why don’t you come with me? We’ll go visit him together.”

Hell to the no…

“Just kidding. He’s not even at home, you know. Right now he’s on a journey.”

“A… journey, you say?”

“Yeah. That’s a secret though. You won’t like what’ll happen next if you tattle.”

“I shall not speak a word of it.”

Even if you pried my mouth open I wouldn’t. But in that case I really wish he hadn’t told me to begin with. It was human nature to want to tell things that they were ordered not to tell.

“Who would have thought he would suddenly change classes from ‘Best Friend’ to ‘Traveller’.”

“Hahhh…”

You actually went on a journey, Kaburagi? What, are you searching for yourself or something?

“When might Kaburagi-sama be returning from this journey?”

“It’s because I don’t know that this is such a pain. I’m calling him again today to try and talk him out of this.”

“Hah… Well then…”

“Anyhow, it’s a secret okay?” he said once more, putting his index finger over his mouth.

It was tough stuff, having a troublesome friend…

But a journey… Where did he even go. North, I bet. I could already see him with his coat lapels up, travelling through a snowstorm or something.

Thinking about it, it was almost time for winter break. I wondered if Kaburagi would be back for the New Year.
Also I wondered if this would be the year I’d become a full-fledged member of the Handicrafts Club.
With my needle-felting project in my bag, I hurried to the clubroom.
Apparently it was traditional for all the members to go have tea on the last day of club activities. I wasn’t invited though.

*

*

It was the last day of school this year. I had no real plans for anything, so I was leaving the school building with my friends to go home. That was when I came across a familiar face.
Katsuragi.
The one who called me a screw-head. I had thought of the perfect revenge.

“Katsuragi-kun, there’s something you need to know.”

“What!”

“Do you know about the Sha Wujing of the morning?”

“Hah?”

“Long ago there was a terrible battle. Soldiers died by the number, and in horrifying ways too. So horrifying that the soldiers weren’t able to pass on. Their spirits decided to find the enemies that put them through that suffering, and now they wander every night, blood running from severed necks, shallow whistling from the cuts in their necks, all the while moaning “Shaa Wujing of the Mooorningg~”. And you see, “Sha Wujing of the Morning” was part of a code used to find out if somebody was an ally or the enemy. And the people who couldn’t answer the code were their enemies, and they would end up haunting them to death. And the thing is, once you’ve heard the story they’re sure to visit you that night. They stand at your bedside and if you don’t tell them the meaning of the code, they’ll kill you and drag you into the next world.”

“Haaaaah!? What the fuck is that!?”

I held out my arms floppily like a zombie, and began walking closer to Birdbrain.

“…The truth is they came to my house too, the Bloodstained Warriors. Thankfully I was safe because I figured out the password. You’re a smart boy, Katsuragi-kun, so I’m sure you’ll realise it in no time. When the half-decapitated warriors visit you tonight, make sure you tell them. Also if you tell anybody else about this story they’ll visit them too, so be careful okay?”

“O-, Oi!”

“Well then, that’s all I wanted to say. Gokigen’yoh, Katsuragi-kun.”

I turned around to leave.

“Wait! Screw-head! Come back and tell me!”

“I have no reason to tell a person who can’t even use people’s names correctly.”

“Ugh-! …Kisshouin.”

“‘Senpai’.”

“…Kisshouin …senpai …tell me.”

“I’m soooorry~ If I tell somebody else the password then I’ll be killed~ Do your best, okay~? Well then, for real this time, gokigen’yoh~ Have a good year~”

“You-! Wait! Oiii!”

My steps felt light as I left him behind.
I did it. That guy is an idiot so I doubt he’d figure it out soon. And he’s an idiot so I bet he’d actually be scared. KEEEKEKEKEKEKEKE! Serves you riiight! This is revenge for ‘screw head’!

“…Um, Reika-sama. Just now, I heard that story as well…”

“Eh-, ah, that was complete lies~”

“It was a lie?”

“Yes, it was a lie. The soldiers had their throats cut and they were wheezing air from the wounds. In that case, how could they speak properly? Also the real password was actually ‘asa no sangogyou’. Well, not that it matters either way, since it was all just a lie anyhow.”

“…”

Katsuragi as his face turned white as a sheet! Of course he’d believe it, he was a chuunibyou after all. Not that he could help it, he was an idiot after all!

Ahh, so happy. This year’s grudges are water under the bridge next year, they say.


 

“Do you know about the Sha Wujing of the morning (Asa no Sagojyou)?”

This “password” was originally taken from another stupid story.

A priest came to a cliffside where many suicides had taken place to try and stop them.

He said,

“This is the curse of a wraith. We must not allow more suicides to happen.”

After putting up a certain paper seal, he left.

Later, when people came to see, they saw the battered seal said thus:

“AGYOUSANSAGYOUGO”

 The above phrase is written as ‘あぎょうさんさぎょうご‘ in Japanese.

It can be broken into a-gyou-san sa-gyou-go or,

-Column 3, -Column 5.

‘asa no sangogyou’ means roughly the same thing:

and-Columns, 3 and 5

うそ or uso as some weebs might recognise, means ‘lie’ or ‘joke’.


‘Reika-sama’ by Hisayoshi

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Reika-sama – 100

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!

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Irasshaimase(ee-rash-hai-ma-seh) means ‘please come in’, and is used to welcome guests to restaurants and stores. I’m leaving it as-is because I’m pretty sure they shout these in “Japanese restaurants” in a lot of countries. Even when those “Japanese restaurants” are actually owned by Chinese or Korean people. Or sometimes even Mexicans, in the southern USA, so my friends tell me.


For the school festival, my class decided on a cross-dressing café.
At first it had just been ‘a café’ but after seeing how popular Iwamuro-kun as Cinderella was, we thought, ‘Hey, why not make the other boys put on a dress too?’
So then we thought, ‘Why not go all the way and have the girls cross-dress too?’ which is how we ended up with the boys as maids, and the girls as butlers.

But it was ‘maids’ of all things. Maids.
Somebody said that if we were going with maids we might as well go deeper and suggested goth loli maids instead. We immediately agreed.
Iwamuro-kun’s eyes were sparkling. I decided to discuss the specifics with him later.

As for me, at first the plan was just to help out preparing the food in the kitchen, but Satomi-kun said,

“Kisshouin-san absolutely needs to be out front!”

Thanks to that I ended up with a butler outfit as well. I didn’t know why he wanted me though.
My face was pretty girly and I had sausage curls too, so I doubted I could have become some hot guy butler.
Which was confirmed when I actually tried on the costume. I didn’t look very boyish. Maybe I’ll tie up my hair?
Still, it probably wouldn’t matter. I doubt anyone would really notice me once I was standing in a terrifying horde of cross-dressing boys.
While I was thinking about it, Satomi-kun handed me a headband with animal ears on it.

“What might this be?”

“Sheep ears. A sheep(Hitsuji) butler(Shitsuji). Wouldn’t it be cute? I really want you to wear it. Oh, and don’t tie up your hair like that. It’s your trademark. Don’t you think your curls look a bit like a sheep’s? Here,” he said, putting them on my head.

An animal again…? Still…

“Just the ears?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“After the costume race, Kaburagi-sama asked me why I was not wearing a mouse nose.”

“Eh… I don’t think even I could ask you to wear one of those things.”

“It does not sound very comfortable at all.”

“…Yeah, let’s just go with the ears this time.”

“You seem terribly set on these ears.”

“Yeah!”

And so with a brilliant smile on his face, Satomi-kun sealed my fate as a sheep.

His reasoning was, “Because you’re a sheep in wolf’s clothing, Kisshouin-san. It’s perfect for you!”

Satomi-kun, do I really look that scary?

Now with wearing ears along with the butler uniform, I had hard look at myself in the mirror.
I hoped this wasn’t too bad. What if I was heading into some crazy direction like Iwamuro-kun. I was supposed to be a Rococo Queen but somehow it felt like I was becoming a weird joke character…

Iwamuro-kun and I discussed the maid outfit. Were they going to wear bonnets or a headpiece? Were they going to wear a dress, or a blouse with a corseted high-waisted skirt? Were they going to use side hoops to make the skirts puffy? The point is we discussed a whole bunch of stuff.
Iwamuro-kun was insanely passionate about it and wouldn’t accept anything less than the ideal.
In the end we settled on a bonnets with sausage curl wigs. Somehow the wig looked familiar… Was that supposed to be my hair? Well, not that my hair was as curled as that, though.

“I admired how your hair was like a princess’, Master…” he said, as he fidgeted with his huge body.

It looked like he was finally beyond return. I needed to apologise to his parents.
And also I don’t recall ever becoming a master, or taking a disciple. Don’t be led astray. Your master is in the Judo Club.
Still, I did up his make-up to make him a cute goth loli maid.
Unlike the costume race, I had time to spare this time, so I decided to give him fake eyelashes with teardrops. Maybe fake nails too.
Mn, mn. You’re very pretty, Iwamuro-kun.

*

Our café was prospering from the get-go.
The boys had originally whined about not wanting to do it, but once the skirts were on they gradually started to compete in looking gorgeous. By the end, some of the quality was mind-blowing. Could it be that there were actually a lot of boys who wanted to cross-dress?
Thanks to that, us butler girls were the complement to the maids.
Our café, Café Sheep Dolly, was the sort where you could ask for a specific maid to serve you. Thanks to that, some of the popular maids were incredibly busy.
Anyhow, apparently the name of our store came from sheep butlers and doll-like maids, but I was the only one wearing sheep ears, wasn’t I?
By the way, Café Sheep Dolly does not use, and has never used, Genetically Modified Food.

Suddenly, somebody asked for me.
The first person to select me was Tomoe-senpai!

“Tomoe-senpai! Irasshaimase!”

“I came, Kisshouin-san! Cute ears. A sheep(hitsuji) because you’re a butler(shitsuji)?”

“So it appears…”

So it was weird? A bit late to change though.

“Well then, Miss Sheep, I’d like this rum raisin pound cake set, please.”

“Yes, coming up!”

I quickly left to take his order to the kitchen.
He came just to see me! I was so happy! Ehehe, and he said that my sheep ears were cute!
Somehow it felt like things were really about to pick up!

After Tomoe-senpai, some of my friends from other classes came to visit. At one point Ririna even swaggered in and said,

“Hey you! The weird butler! Bring me some tea, now!”

I had quite a number of people ask for me. I was quite proud of my number, but in the end I still lost to goth loli Iwamuro-kun.

Satomi-kun praised me too.

“As expected of Kisshouin-san! Her ability to bring in customers is amazing!”

Tomorrow the school festival would be opened to the public. Better do my best!

*

When it was time for my shift break I went to visit the Handicrafts Club.
Each year they would make a wedding dress for the school festivals. Today they were unveiling the dress that they had begun designing and creating since April, the combined effort of the entire Handicrafts Club.
It was embroidered with intricate designs up to the cuffs, and amazing in a way that you’d never have expected it was made by high schoolers.
Since I was a (provisional) member, I added just one fabric rose to it. Back when I was silently watching them work on the dress, they invited me to help. I definitely didn’t pressure them into it.
A number of people were in the room looking at it, Class Rep included. Truly a maiden entranced.

I snuck up behind him.

“Did you also want to try it on, Class Rep?”

“Uwah!? Kisshouin-san!”

The maiden Class Rep was visibly reddening. I see, I see. I hope your dream comes true, one day.
At that moment, Iwamuro-kun suddenly showed up as well. Yet another maiden entranced by it.
The maiden Class Rep, and the maiden from the Judo Club. It was a chance meeting of maidens.

*

*

The next day, Café Sheep Dolly was hitting it big.

Although the school festival was opened to outsiders now, they still required a ticket to get in so only friends and acquaintances of the students here could do so.

“Invite me too!” Dog Lover-kun had asked, but it would be annoying to be called a dog at school, so I politely declined him. Also I could already see him suggesting dog ears instead of the sheep ears. I was already being treated like some kind of sheepdog here so I didn’t need anything to jinx it.

Aoi-chan’s school festival was today as well, so she couldn’t come. What a shame.

As I was recalling this, somebody nominated me.

“Sakura-chan!”

It was Sakura-chan and Akisawa-kun.

“Gokigen’yoh, Reika-san.”

“Hello, Kisshouin-san. Sakurako came to visit so I brought her here.”

Our cross-dressing maids grew noisy at the thought of Akizawa-kun bringing a girl along.

“Reika-san, that butler outfit suits you very well. Those ears are interesting, too.”

Her eyes were totally laughing at me. Hmph.
Satomi-kun appeared from the staff-only area too.

“Welcome, Fukioka-san. Are you touring the school with Akizawa today?”

“Long time no see, Satomi-kun. I heard that Reika-san was wearing men’s clothing and I simply had to see.”

“I see. You two were friends as well?”

“Yes. I have been friends with Reika-san since our early days in primary.”

I’d been wondering for a while now, but what happened to not using honorifics? And what was with that modest smile she had on?
I could hear words like ‘pure’ and ‘yamato nadeshiko’ muttered amongst our cross-dressing maids. Amazing, Sakura-chan. You’ve fooled them all. Your abilities as a faker are something legendary.

The two of them were going to tour the school now. It seemed that her real goal was to let the whole school know that she existed, and thus holding back any other girls who would think to get close to him.
That fact that Akizawa-kun had no idea about her plots made him lucky in a way.

*

In the afternoon, things suddenly got noisy. It turns out that Emperor and Enjou had come to Café Sheep Dolly! And following in behind them were Yurie-sama and Aira-sama! Oh, and Maihama-san too I guess.
The whole place descended into chaos at their arrival. Since they didn’t ask for anybody in particular, I went to serve them.

“Long time no see, Reika-chan!” called Aira-sama.

I greeted everybody in return.

“Kisshouin-san,” Enjou smiled, “First a rat, and now a sheep? Everybody’s talking about it, you know.”

“Where’s the sheep nose?” criticised Kaburagi.

“A nose would make it difficult to breathe.”

“Take this more seriously.”

What the hell was this guy’s problem.

“For the lady of the Kisshouin-family, you sure wear strange things,” jabbed Maihama-san as she fiddled with her hair. I guess she wasn’t happy that Kaburagi had spoken to me.

“Ema,” Yurie-sama chided “I’m sorry about her, Reika-san.”

“Yurie-oneesama~” whined Maihama-san, before continuing.

“Dressing up, fasting, you sure do a lot of odd things, Reika-san. Huhu,” she laughed.

Don’t bring up the fasting!

“That sounded an awful lot like criticism of Masaya’s mum. Maybe I should tell Obasama about this,” smiled Enjou.

Suddenly Maihama-san was eager to change her mind. Idiot. Also, well said, you damned schemer.

When I had finished taking their orders and stepped into the kitchen, the five of them were still the centre of attention.
Maihama-san was sitting next to Kaburagi and trying all sorts of conversation starters. Kaburagi looked fed up as he diverted every attempt. Yurie-sama and Aira-sama were having fun evaluating each maid.

Getting so friendly with Kaburagi in Zui’ran was the same as making an enemy of many of the girls. Because of that, the café was increasingly filled with dangerous glares. Maihama-san only responded with with a triumphant smile though. Scaaary!

“Here, Kisshouin-san.”

Satomi-kun handed me some tea, and the complimentary sheep cookies that we only gave to female customers.
I placed one down in front of each of them. Yurie-sama and Aira-sama had yellow sheep butter cookies. Maihama-san got a black sheep cookie.
Those black sheep cookies were ones that only certain customers got. Now get the hell out, you troublemaker!

When the five of them were leaving, Aira-sama looked apologetic.

“Sorry for making you uncomfortable, Reika-chan.”

It hadn’t been her fault at all.

As for Kaburagi, Maihama-san was still orbiting him, and he still looked fed up as he left.

While I was feeling exhausted, Iwamuro-kun stood next to me.

“What half-baked curls. She’s nothing compared to you, Master.”

…Yeah. Thank you, Iwamuro-kun.

*

*

*

*

A month later when the term-end test results were posted, Kaburagi Masaya’s name was not amongst them.


“Reika-sama and Her Happy Friends (pt2)” by Kuramoto.

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Reika-sama – 099 – A Girl With a Name / A Boy Without a One

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!

Join the Evil God Army on discord!
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‘Maki(巻き)’ means ‘curl’.


Raijin is a god of lightning, thunder and storms in the Shinto religion and in Japanese mythology. He is typically depicted as a demon-looking spirit beating drums to create thunder, usually with the symbol tomoe drawn on the drums.
Fuujin is the Japanese god of the wind and one of the eldest Shinto gods. He is portrayed as a terrifying wizard-like demon, resembling a red headed green-skinned humanoid wearing a leopard skin, carrying a large bag of winds on his shoulders.
Together, statues of Raijin and Fuujin are found all over Japan at the gates of Japanese shrines and temples as protectors. Visitors to these sacred places must pass by the intimidating gaze of the gods before entering.

Raijin (left) and Fuujin(right)

Maruyama Oukyo, born Maruyama Masataka, was a Japanese artist active in the late 18th century. He moved to Kyoto, during which he studied artworks from Chinese, Japanese and Western sources. Maruyama Okyo was well known for his true-to-life paintings. The story, illustrated by the below print, tells of the time Oukyo painted a ghost so “realistically” that it came to life and frightened him.


A Girl With a Name / A Boy Without a One

My classmate Kisshouin Reika-sama was idolised by all the girls.
It was no surprise; Reika-sama looked like a princess and was as gorgeous as her name sake. Not only that but was a member of the elite Pivoine, and on top of that she was smart too. She was like the perfect girl.
A lot of girls had dreams about becoming close to her. I did too, but her group was filled with nothing but girls as beautiful as she was. When I thought about what might happen to me socially if I somehow upset her I could never find the courage to try.
Sometimes I wondered what her life was like.
I pictured her sipping tea gracefully as she sat in a garden field of flowers, maybe hosting a poetry recital. Mn, it fit her so well!

*

When I entered my second year of middle school came an unbelievable chance to get closer to her.
Of all things, Reika-sama was coming to the summer camp! It should have been one of the last places anyone would expect her.
None of her other friends were participating. It was just her, which was how I ended up sharing a room with her.
Sharing a room with Reika-sama! My heart was beating so hard from the anxiety that I might do something to offend her, but thankfully she just smiled at me and said,

“This will be my first time at Summer Camp, so I hope you will look after me.”

Even though Reika-sama was our age she was always calm. I had hardly ever seen her lose her composure. I wished I could be like that.

*

When night fell, it was time for the fireworks event. Reika-sama had started off by my side, smiling happily as she watched, but before I knew it she had disappeared. I looked around for her a little, only to find Reika-sama and Class Rep alone in a corner enjoying sparklers together.

Eh-!? Don’t tell me it was a forbidden love between lady and servant!?

Not that I actually believed that, but it was fun to interpret it that way.
My friend Miharu-chan couldn’t come this year because of her family so I decided to text her about it later. It was like the love between a princess and the chamberlain. Miharu-chan would definitely find it interesting too.
To be sure, amongst us girls it was agreed that the one who suited Reika-sama best was Kaburagi-sama. But out of nowhere, a shocking rival appeared in the form of the Imperial Chamberlain, getting in between the Princess and the Emperor. I wondered what would happen next.

*

I never could quite fall asleep unless I was in complete darkness. When we found out we were sharing a room I told her about my worries, but Reika-sama agreed with a smile. Thank goodness.
When it came time for lights out, it was time for bed. I had been lying in the darkness for a while when suddenly I heard Reika-sama.

“Daro da- de ni da na nara!”

…Eh? What was that just now?
For some reason it sounded like the mnemonic for remembering na-adjectives…
Was she awake?

“Reika-sama? What’s wrong?”

“…”

“Um, Reika-sama?”

“…”

Eh… Don’t tell me, sleep-talking!?
But she was speaking so clearly…
No, it must have been my imagination.
I decided to try and sleep.

After a little while, Reika-sama’s voice rang out in the darkness again.

“Karo ka- kuu ii kere!”

This time was the mnemonic for i-adjectives!?

“…Reika-samaa~? Are you awaake~?”

“…”

Apparently Reika-sama studied even in her dreams. As expected of her.
I pulled my futon up over my head.

I hoped she wouldn’t begin reciting the Tsurezuregusa essays next…

*

The next morning was the hike. For some reason Reika-sama had taken a metal pole from somewhere and was using it like a traveller’s walking stick.
Reika-sama?

*

That night, a ghost appeared.
When the noise woke me up, Reika-sama was already awake and peering into the hallway as she combed her hair. Having just woken up, her curls were a little looser than usual.
There was a huge fuss in the hallways. I asked someone what had happened and they told me that a girl had seen a ghost. It had been eating gore when it turned around and glared at her with eyes filled with hatred! So scary!
Everyone was in a terrified panic, but Reika-sama calmed us down and took control.

“No ghosts will appear again,” she declared.

Reika-sama was amazing! Just hearing her say that made us feel like nothing would hurt us!
Soon afterwards our teacher came and promised that they would carefully patrol the hallway. Appeased, we all went back to our rooms.
When I went back inside mine, I said to her,

“That was scary, wasn’t it?”

“I’m not Maruyama Oukyo…”

She seemed despondent. I didn’t quite catch what she said, but knowing how diligent she usually was, she must have felt responsible for all this as the leader of the girls. Even though it wasn’t her fault at all…
Just as she said, the ghost didn’t appear again that night, and morning came around. I thought that it was wonderful how she could act and think so calmly in a situation like that.

*

From summer camp onwards, I could now chat with Reika-sama.
Reika-sama was a rare type of Pivoine member who would accept the duties of a class rep. As another class representative, sometimes we planned and consulted with each other for the various school events. As somebody who really admired her, I was really happy about being able to do so.
Sometimes I saw Class Rep talking to her intimately as well. Reika-sama was like a rose beyond anyone’s reach, so it was rare for any boy to casually speak to her. Not bad, Chamberlain.

*

One day the shadow of another boy appeared around Reika-sama!
It was none other than the burly Iwamuro-kun from the Judo Club. Standing next to each other they looked like a princess and her mercenary bodyguard.
I asked about it with my friend in her class. Apparently Iwamuro-kun was Reika-sama’s favourite these days, and she had had fun making him crossdress during the athletics carnival and school festival.
Iwamuro-kun hadn’t been able to refuse her, and had obediently let her put make-up on him.

“The Beauty and the Beast thing is surprisingly nice,” said my friend, but I was staunchly in the Emperor camp.

None of us wanted to see Kaburagi-sama end up dating someone unsuitable. If he had to date somebody anyway, then we wanted it to be somebody wonderful that we could accept.
Of course, everyone knew that Kaburagi-sama had been pining after Yurie-sama all this time, but if it had to be somebody other than Yurie-sama, we all agreed that only somebody as wonderful as Reika-sama would do.
Honestly, compared to some other girls I didn’t even like Kaburagi-sama that much. If he ended up with some boring girl, though, I had no idea what some of his more hardcore fans would do.

♦♢♦♢♦

In Zui’ran’s first year high schoolers, there were three people that you absolutely could not cross.

One of them was the Last Boss of the girls, Kisshouin Reika.
She was the daughter of the prodigious Kisshouin family, and a member of the Pivoine.
It was whispered that making an enemy out of her equated to making one of every girl in Zui’ran. She was that powerful.
It was rare to ever see her angered, true, and she was always surrounded in her clique with a confident smile, but rumour had it that when Tsuruhana Maki conceitedly tried to overthrow her, she used her folding fan to slap the girl into submission.
It must have been crazy… Fights between aristocrats are incredible…
Tsuruhana Maki and those like-minded friends of hers had really kicked up a fuss, but in the end they weren’t a match for Goddess Kali(Curly).
Having said that, it wasn’t like we were a match for Tsuruhana either. That chick is scaaary.
And god was it heaven and earth with how she treated us and Kaburagi’s like. When it came to me she just dropped all honorifics and ordered me around! And if you tried to refuse she’d start threatening you!

“If Tsuruhana’s gang go too far again, we’ll snitch on her to Kali-sama!” we said amongst ourselves.

Actually directly talking to Kali-sama is too scary to actually do, though!

*

Anyhow, Kisshouin Reika was guarded by her own Raijin and Fuujin. Kazami Serika and Imamura Kikuno. These two were scary too.
If anybody slighted Kisshouin-san, these two would lead a huge group of girls to pressure them.
It had happened to me too, one time. I had just entered the same class as Kisshouin-san and happened to forget one of my forms.
Her followers all surrounded me and glared.

“Stop making trouble for Reika-sama or else.”

I immediately got somebody to bring the form from home.

One time, this one guy got dared to say “Kali” as she passed by. He was taken away by Kazami and Imamura’s gang later that day. When he came back he was deathly pale, and quiet like somebody else. What on earth did they say to you…
That incident scared the crap out of us, so we all decided not to use that name anymore. After all, what if by some chance Kisshouin-san herself found out? Maybe it wouldn’t be her group this time, but she’d come after us with her fan herself!

Actually, Kisshouin-san had a lot of other nicknames that we called her in secret. Right now there was Maki Maki Makkie, which her group hadn’t seemed to know about yet.
Hm, also D(olly Gi)rll I guess. During the athletics carnival we had this huge joke about D(olly Gi)rll doing the quadrille. I was kind of looking forward to it too, but Kisshouin-san didn’t participate. What a shame. Even leaving the pun aside, it would have been cool to see somebody with hair like a princess do the quadrille.

For some reason though she entered the costume race dressed as a rat carrying a pumpkin!
All of the laughter from the previous entrants suddenly stopped. The Empress dressed as a rat…
Were we supposed to laugh like all the other entrants? Were we supposed to pretend we hadn’t seen it? Nobody knew what to do.
“It’s so tragic…!” seemed to be written all over the faces of Kazami and Imamura’s group as they cheered her on though, so we realised that the right choice was not to laugh.
The Emperor and Enjou-kun were wide-eyed at her costume too, but…

“Do your best, Kisshouin-saaan!” laughed Class Rep as he cheered her on.

What a shock. Was Class Rep actually a huge deal!?

*

Still though, once her class realised that Kisshouin-san was okay with costumes, this time they’d decided on a cross-dressing café for the school festival.
Since Satomi was in her class, I asked him about it.

“Kisshouin-san was pretty cute as a mouse, but she’s cute as a butler too. You should come see, on the day,” he laughed.

So they really were making Kisshouin-san cross-dress!?
There were definitely roles in the back she could have taken instead… I asked Satomi why she wasn’t in one of those instead but he replied,

“Well lots of people know our class for being the one with Kisshouin-san in it, so why not use that to attract customers? Wouldn’t it be a waste otherwise?”

“What the hell. Aren’t you afraid?”

“Of what?”

“Of treating Kisshouin Reika that way. Wasn’t she outraged?”

“No wayy. Kisshouin-san is a big softy. She’s like a sheep inside. Oh! Maybe she could wear sheep ears on top of that. I’ll go ask about it!”

SATOMIIIIIIIIII! THERE’S SUCH A THING AS TOO MUCH GUTS!

Reika-san in a male butler suit with sheep ears…

…I decided I would go see the train-wreck.


‘♣︎♦︎♠︎♥’ by Marudori

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Reika-sama – 098

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!

Join the Evil God Army on discord!
https://discord.gg/0uufyDAsTZXQaMz1


After the athletics carnival, Tomoe-senpai and I became a small topic of discussion.

“I had no idea you were so close to the former President.”

“To think he’d announce his victory and smile at you like that. Could it be that there’s actually something between you two?”

My friends loved talk about romance, so all of them were looking excited and expectant.

“I admire and look up to Tomoe-senpai very much, but we are not in the sort of relationship you are all imagining. If strange rumours caused trouble to him, I would not be able to face him…”

I made sure to quickly put out the fire.

“Ehhhh~ But you were cheering for him so passionately, Reika-sama. When I saw you two like that it sent my heart pounding, you know!”

“Me too!”

“But gosh, the former President was so dashing~! And he was even Champion!”

“He really was cool! I actually found out that he won last year too! He’s the two-time champion!”

“My!”

It looks like my heart wasn’t the only one pierced by his smile. Everyone was using our interaction as an excuse to keep talking about him.
Hmmmm~ What do I do. It was basically nothing, but a rumour was a rumour…

*

*

When I heard the same rumours at the Pivoine Salon, that was when I started to worry a little.
After all, his actual girlfriend Kasumi-sama was here.

“I had no idea you were close with that Tomoe guy,” started a third year upperclassman.

“Yes. He helped me a great deal when I was a class representative in middle school. I was made the vice representative of my class again this year, so he has been helping me once again.”

“Ah, I see. I’m begging ya, at least don’t tell me you like him or something.”

“Goodness. Tomoe-senpai is somebody I respect very much.”

Uuu, Kasumi-sama didn’t seem too offended, but…
I couldn’t imagine it was a good feeling to watch people gossip about your boyfriend and some other girl. I was rash.
Some of the older girls began talking about Emperor, so I used that topic change to get away. Kasumi-sama was sitting further away on a sofa, so I sidled down next to her.

“Kasumi-sama.”

“My, Reika-sama. Gokigen’yoh,” she said, meeting me with a smile.

“Ummm… I am unsure how to apologise for this, but…” I whispered.

“My! Huhu, don’t tell me you were worried about me? I’m completely fine.”

“Truly?”

“Truly. And he’s honestly surprisingly popular so this isn’t even close to the first time this has happened.”

“Eh-, is that so!?”

“Yep. So don’t you worry, Reika-san. Senju was happily telling me about how you cheered for him, you know?”

“Ah…haha”

Since she really didn’t seem to mind, I let out a tentative sigh of relief. I was like the homewrecker villainess by birth, so I was worried I might one day break up some couple by accident.

“More importantly, you really gave me a shock when you appeared in that rat costume. Whatever came over you?”

“Eh?”

Kasumi-sama gazed at me worriedly.

“The girl who was supposed to participate injured herself, so I became the replacement.”

“I see. But a rat costume… You really take your role as the class representative seriously, don’t you, Reika-sama.”

Ummm… Kasumi-sama was looking at me heartbroken, like I was some tragic heroine. I really didn’t know how to respond. Was the costume really that bad? I thought it was pretty tame compared to the gaudy Cinderella and Prince costumes.
Speaking of which, my friends kept trying to cheer me up when I got back from the costume race. And even when people in my class joked about Iwamuro-kun, nobody ever mentioned me.”

“…Was my costume so strange?”

“Not at all! You were very charming! However, I can’t say I have really ever heard of a Pivoine participating in the costume race before…”

She was right, come to think of it. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that as a Pivoine member.

“Was it perhaps the wrong decision…?”

“I wouldn’t go that far, but…”

I think I could have done quite a few things better this athletics carnival. I made a note to reflect on it.

I happened to glance at my watch and realised it was time to be picked up by my chaffeur.

“I need to take my leave for today.”

“My, already?”

“Yes. I have lessons soon.”

“I see. Gokigen’yoh.”

After packing up, I was about to leave when I passed Kaburagi and Enjou.
Our eyes met.

“Oh, the stupid mouse.”

“Masaya.”

The whole salon went dead silent.

I forced a stiff smile onto my face.

“…Gokigen’yoh, Kaburagi-sama, Enjou-sama. You must be excusing me.”

I was about to leave again when Kaburagi looked at me seriously.

“Where was your mouse nose? What were you even supposed to be? Put in a bit more effort next year.”

“Masaya.”

Shut up, you athletics carnival lunatic! Who let you decide that I would even be competing next year!
They wouldn’t let me have the nose, and to be honest even I have a little self-respect!

I stalked down the hallway and headed for my car.

*

When I returned home from piano practice I found Imari-sama there for the first time in a very long time.

“Imari-sama!”

“Hey, Reika-chan. How’ve you been?”

“Very well. And you, Imari-sama?”

“I’ve been great too.”

Today he was wearing a suit. Wow, this was the charm of an adult!

“What brings you to our home today?”

“I had something I wanted to borrow from Takateru. Gee, you’re still as cute as a doll, aren’t you Reika-chan.”

He patted me on the head.

“Imari, stop touching people’s sisters,” said Oniisama after flicking off Imari-sama’s hand.

“Gosh! Your Oniisama is so scaaary, isn’t he, Reika-chan. But you’re like the little sister I’ve always wanted. My family is filled with nothing but brothers. I know! Reika-chan, why don’t you marry my little brother? Then you’ll be my little sister for real. Ah, but I’d be more than happy to marry you too, you know?”

“Marry you, Imari-sama? Why, that would be like a dream come true.”

“Wouldn’t it? I’ll marry you any time, Reika-chan.”

The two of us laughed together, but Oniisama looked irritated for once.

“…Imari, come to my room.”

“I’m sorry, Older Brother, it was just a joke.”

“Shut it and come. Now.”

Imari-sama was literally dragged away. It was nice to see that they were as close as ever.

Speaking of which, hadn’t I made up a story about being in love with Imari-sama? I had totally forgotten about it. I decided to tell them when they got back.

‘Apparently I’ve always been in love with you, Imari-sama.’

I was sure that he and Oniisama would find it a riot as well.

When Imari-sama came back to the living room he looked gaunt. Talking business must have been exhausting. He was probably buried in work. After all, he said,

“I don’t think I can come here for a while, again…”


Left: Kisshouin Reika
Right: Takamichi Wakaba
Young Kisshouin Reika
Takamichi Wakaba
Left to right: Oomiya Ayame, Shirasagi Ru’ne, Kazami Serika, Imura Kikuno
Left: Tsuruhana Maki
Right: Maihama Ema
Left: Fukioka Sakurako
Right: Yorino Aoi
Kotou Ririna
Nouzen Sarara
Haginokouji Fuyuko
Left: Suzushino Yurie
Right: Minazuki Aira
Finishing off with Kisshouin Reika again

All the art seen above was drawn by Rahakan.


<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Reika-sama – 097

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!

Join the Evil God Army on discord!
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When I arrived at school on the day of the athletics carnival, Iwamuro-kun whispered for me to come with him. He wanted me to check his skin for him. Reaching out, I touched his face with the back of my hand. Mn, smooth and supple.
I told him as much and he thanked me happily before returning to the other boys. Perhaps it was impossible for him to go back now.

*

In the main events I was relegated to only cheering. My friends and I were watching from inside a tent to avoid the sun. Maybe I should have asked Iwamuro-kun for some sunscreen.
People had been gossiping about how Emperor was channelling his frustration from being unable to compete in the cavalry battle into training his team for the baton relay. They must have been true because his team passed over the baton like clockwork and took first place by far. It was actually a little scary how they seemed like some kind of army…

As for the girls in our grade, Tsuruhana-san did really well. I could already see her being cocky for a while.
Eventually it was time for the three-legged race so I headed to the starting line and tied myself to Ikoma-san. That was when I noticed that Wakaba-chan was at the starting line with me.
So Wakaba-chan was competing too? In the same group as me too. Was Wakaba-chan supposed to be good at sports again?
I decided not to worry about it though. I didn’t have time to focus on others. We had trained pretty hard for this, so I wanted first place if possible.

“I’ll give my all, Reika-sama!”

Ikoma-san was plenty fired up too.

With the signal fired, the two of us shot off while chanting in time. I heard a pair fall down behind us. We were near the finish line. I’m aiming for first place!
But just as victory was in our grasp, a pair shot past us from behind and took the prize!
Because of the shock I missed a step, and we stumbled into second place. I looked up to find Wakaba-chan with the flag for first.

“We did it! First place!”

Wakaba-chan seemed overjoyed, but her partner’s face screamed ‘oh no’ and she frantically tried to stop her.

“Eh? How come?” Wakaba-chan asked blankly.

Her partner whispered something in her ear, and then Wakaba-chan looked my way. Hm?

The girl pulled Wakaba-chan away and disappeared into the crowd.

“I’m sorry, Reika-sama. I can’t believe I let you down…”

Ikoma-san looked discouraged and incredibly frustrated. Eh!? You don’t have to take it that seriously!

“It was not meant to be. There was simply a faster pair than the two of us.”

“But…”

“Shall we try our best in our next event? We still have the ball-toss, correct?”

“Yes…”

I’d never particularly cared about winning at anything at an athletics carnival, but I guess some people did.

That very same ball-toss event turned out to have Wakaba-chan once again. She appeared and competed, couldn’t control her ball toss, and hit somebody from another class running nearby.
As it turns out, that victim was Afrodite who caused a huge fuss, screaming,

“MY HAAAANDD!! MY LIFEE AS A VIOLINISTT!!”

which ended with a frantically apologising Wakaba-chan. While she was busy dealing with Afrodite, she ended up in last place.

…My condolences.

*

In the afternoon finally came my costume race.
My costume comprised a grey dress, grey leggings, and a large mouse-ear headband. We didn’t have mouse-pad gloves, so I was using ones for a cat instead. For safety, I was wearing running shoes on my feet. For the same reason I wasn’t allowed to carry a pumpkin in the other hand, so it was turned into a backpack instead. Compared to my team-mates who were obviously a Cinderella, a prince, and a fairy godmother, my costume felt a little more vague…
Wearing a blonde wig as well now, Iwamuro-kun came over to show me how he looked. His lips and cheeks were painted pink.
I mentioned that I had some gloss as well and asked if he wanted some.

“Definitely!”

was his reply. That’s how I ended standing in front of a 170cm+ Judo Club member as he knelt in front of me with his eyes closed and lips puckered.
Eh? Was I supposed to do it?
Iwamuro-kun had climbed the steps of maidenhood a lot faster than expected. I made sure to use extra glossy lip gloss for him, and wasn’t stingy with it either. Mn, mn. You’re totally cute.
He stood in front of the mirror and then snuck in a few duck lips. Come back to us, Iwamuro-kun…
For some reason when it was my turn to race, the cheers of the crowd turned to noisy chatter. When I looked at the audience, a few of them even turned their eyes away uncomfortably. Why? Was it weird?

“Reika-sama! You’re so dignified!”

And Serika-chan, Kikuno-chan, and my other girls began giving me weird cheers.

In the end we didn’t get first place, but we did become the talk of the school. Cinderella seemed to be having a blast the whole time too. I gave him glittered gloss as a present.

*

*

After a lot of other events, it was finally time for the cavalry battle.
The participants from my class were some of the buffer guys, Iwamuro-kun included. He was a maiden on the inside though. Was this going to be okay?

When some of the more popular teams passed through the gate, the cheering seemed to erupt further. When the first years came out, Fellow Stalking Horse gained quite a lot of cheers from the girls. He was supposed to be my Vice Village Chief but he was popular. It was somehow really frustrating.
The one who gained the most cheers though was my beloved Tomoe-senpai. I clapped like mad for him. Do your best, Tomoe-senpai!

The battle was even more intense than in middle school. I think it was because of the huge difference in physique and power.
But despite that, Fellow Stalking Horse was still fighting on par with our seniors, taking headbands left and right. O comrade! Bring glory and honour to our village!

Thinking about the maidenly Iwamuro-kun, I looked for him in worry but found a completely different person to the guy who had happily worn the Cinderella dress.
He was roaring a war-cry as he charged through his enemies. Do your best too, Judo Club!

While all this was going on, Tomoe-senpai’s team was mowing everyone down, racking up victories without a sweat.

You’re so goddamn cool, Tomoe-senpai!!!

For the first time in a long time, I could hear O Fortuna roaring in my head!

I ended up entranced and stopped watching everybody else. When I snapped out of it, Iwamuro-kun had already lost. Sorry I wasn’t watching. I’ll lend you some facial toner to take care of that sunburn.
Fellow Stalking Horse was among the survivors. You’re amazing, Fellow Stalking Horse!
But Fellow Stalking Horse was targeted by Tomoe-senpai. After falling for Tomoe-senpai’s feint, he left an opening which Tomoe-senpai used to steal his headband. The bad boy grin that Tomoe-senpai wore when he did that sent my heart pounding!
Suddenly I wondered what Emperor was doing. I looked over and he was frowning with his fists clenched, staring doggedly at Tomoe-senpai’s team. He looked positively mortified to be sitting out.
…If you’re going to be this upset about it you should have just competed. I wonder why he even announced his retirement. What an idiot.

At the end, Tomoe-senpai squared off with another 3rd year team and won, becoming the king of this year’s cavalry battle.
I stood up and vigorously applauded his gallant figure. It was a struggle just to not jump up and down while waving at him.
While I was clapping, Tomoe-senpai looked my way, and then gave a thumbs up as he winked and smiled. Eh-! Me!?
I couldn’t help but look around and behind me, but Tomoe-senpai pointed right at me. He waved at me, before heading back with his friends, arms on shoulders.

I saw a phantom fountain of blood splurt from my nose.


by Moya(https://www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=3254224)

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Reika-sama – 096

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!

Join the Evil God Army on discord!
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Note that the word for mouse and rat are the same in Japanese. Incidentally there’s no such thing as a ‘lobster’. Spiny lobsters are ‘Ise Prawns’ while the clawed lobsters that Americans are more familiar with are ‘Sea Crayfish’. Honestly, the genetics kind of cements the fact that lobsters aren’t real. If lobsters aren’t real, how can our mouths be real.


At lunch I headed to the StuCo room for athletics carnival business. Tomoe-senpai was waiting inside.

“Tomoe-senpai!”

“Oh~? Kisshouin-san, long time no see!”

Ukyaa! He was as cool as ever!

“So why are you here today? Oh, permission to use the sports field, right?”

“Yes! What are you doing here, Senpai?”

“Hm? Oh, I’m just here to help out. It hasn’t been long since we’ve changed members after all.”

“I see.”

For the next few weeks all class rep work involving the Student Council was going to be handled by me.

“So which events are you competing in, Kisshouin-san?”

“This year I shall be appearing in the ball toss event. The three-legged race as well.”

“Ah okay. Don’t get injured, alright?”

“Yes! What about you, Tomoe-senpai?”

“Me? I’m going to be doing the cavalry battle.”

The cavalry battle! I can’t believe I forgot! Tomoe-senpai was the one who squared off with that legendary cavalry maniac at the very end of their match, and almost won too! It was thanks to the battle with Tomoe-senpai that the idiot even began reading The Art of War to prepare for the next year.

If Tomoe-senpai of all people was going to be participating this year then Emperor was sure going to regret his retirement.

“I-! I shall be cheering for you!”

“I’m happy to hear you say that but shouldn’t you be cheering for your own class?”

It’s fine, it’s fine. If it’s for my first love I’ll be a thought-traitor as many times as it takes.

“It is no problem, Senpai! Please win!” I shouted with a fist pump.
“Alright! If you’re going to be cheering me on then I guess I have to give it my best. Oh, by the way, you were participating too, right?” he called out to someone behind me.

I turned around and Fellow Stalking Horse was there.

“Ah-, F- …unny finding you here, Mizusaki-kun.”

Close call! Good save, Reika!

I never called him anything else in my head so I almost slipped up. If I actually called the guy ‘Fellow Stalking Horse’ to his face I’m pretty sure he would murder me.

I promised myself to be more careful in the future…

Anyhow, Fellow Stalking Horse was looking at me with suspicion.

“What was that just now?”

“Eh? What might you be speaking of?”

Ah. My eyes were looking up to the right again.

The suspicion on his face intensified. Oh dear…

“Arima. You’re joining the cavalry battle too, aren’t you?”

Thankfully, Tomoe-senpai drew Fellow Stalking Horse’s attention. Phew…

“Ah, yes. I am.”

I knew it.

“My class speculated that you would be a strong opponent, Mizusaki-kun,” I chimed in.

“Oh? So Arima’s strong then. Sounds like I’d better put some oomph into it.”

“Tomoe-senpai, faito!”

“Yeah!”

As we cheered, Fellow Stalking Horse just regarded the two of us with bewilderment. After a while, he held out a sheet of paper to Tomoe-senpai.

“…Sorry to interrupt while you’re having so much fun, but I wanted to talk to you about the proceedings of the athletics carnival.”

“Hm? What about it?”

Fellow Stalking Horse had taken Tomoe-senpai from me. Not that it could be helped though. This was more important.

The two of them began to talk about greeting visitors or something, so I decided it was time to excuse myself.

“Well then, please excuse me, Tomoe-senpai. Also Mizusaki-kun, I suppose.”

“You suppose…”

“Ahaha, thanks for your hard work, Kisshouin-san.”

Tomoe-senpai saw me off with a smile, and I left the room feeling elated.

Mizusaki “Fellow Stalking Horse” Arima(Has a Horse) riding a horse. Upfftpfft. Three horses(馬) made a herd(驫).

I headed back to homeroom while thinking up stupid rhymes about it, only to find some kind of debacle with Satomi-kun in the middle of it.

“Is something the matter, Satomi-kun?”

“Ah, Kisshouin-san. Actually…”

According to Satomi-kun, the girl who was going to be competing in the costume race sprained her ankle during lunch and suddenly couldn’t compete. Right now she was in the nurse’s office.
Iwamuro Takashi-kun, a large boy in the Judo Club, was going to be the cross-dressing Cinderella. The girl who was just injured was supposed to be carrying a pumpkin in a rat costume.

“Who will replace her?”

“Do we have a girl who can replace her?”

A number of girls hadn’t returned from lunch yet, and none of the ones here seemed too enthusiastic. I guess nobody really wanted to dress up as a rat.
Hmm~ But dressing up in a costume?
I raised my hand.

“Shall I take her place then?”

“Eh-, you, Kisshouin-san!?”

“Reika-sama!?”

Everyone looked at me in shock.

“Yes. I was entered into the ball-tossing event, but I believe she can do so even with a sprained ankle. There should be no problems if the two of us exchange events, in that case. Of course, unless anything is stopping me I plan to participate in the ball-toss as well.”

“Are you really okay with that, Kisshouin-san?” Satomi-kun asked with some hesitance.

The costume race was a joke event, after all. I was probably one of the last people they’d have expected to participate. Admittedly I never would have if it wasn’t for this accident.

“I am fine with it,” I nodded. “I cannot promise that I will run particularly swiftly, however.”

Satomi-kun smiled.

“Then the replacement will be Kisshouin-san.”

Just as things were about to be settled, this time it was the girls in my group that complained.

“How could you make Reika-sama dress up like a rat!”

“She’s right! How could a rat costume be suitable for Reika-sama!”

And so the classroom turned noisy again. For some reason some of the other girls started vocally agreeing about how cruel it was to me.
Um, guys? I don’t actually mind this, you know? And you’re calling it cruel now, but you do remember that the person I’m replacing is a girl too, right?
I tried to calm them down, but they wouldn’t budge at all, shouting things like,

“How could you make Reika-sama dress up like some kind of amusement park mascot!”

When we realised we weren’t going anywhere, people started suggesting alternatives.

“Then can’t we just have Kisshouin-san take the part of Cinderella instead then?” said one boy.

More and more of the class seemed to get on-board with the idea.

“Kisshouin-san would be spot-on for a princess, after all.”

“I thought it’d be pretty funny to force Iwamuro into crossdressing, but doing the costume seriously might be pretty good too.”

The girls in my group seemed tentatively appeased. And so after all that tumult, I went from being the rat to Cinderella.
Me as Cinderella. But the problem was…

“Iwamuro, good for you! Looks like you’re off the hook!”

“I remember you grumbling about it too!” said a friend as he thumped Iwamuro-kun on the shoulder.

“Yeah, thank goodness,” he replied.

But I knew that was a lie. Because in the dress-fittings after the class had decided on Iwamuro-kun as our Cinderella, I noticed he looked a little happy to be wearing it.
I suspected that he was crestfallen inside. Even now he looked a little sadder.

“Please wait, everybody. I am fine being the rat.”

Everyone looked shocked again.

“The costume is tailored to Iwamuro-kun’s measurements. Additionally, Cinderella is to be the anchor of the relay race. That would be too heavy a burden for me.”

“But Reika-sama…”

“In exchange, would it be acceptable for me to simply wear a grey dress, mouse ears, and mice slippers instead?”

Honestly, I was completely fine with the full body costume too but the girls around me weren’t likely to agree to that. Hence the compromise. I thought it would look pretty cute.

“Are you truly okay with that, Reika-sama?”

“I am. It would be dangerous to run in clothing ill-fit to me. And I must admit, I have been looking forward to seeing Iwamuro-kun in a dress!”

My classmates laughed.

“Iwamuro! Now that Kisshouin-san’s nominated you personally, there’s no more running away from this!”

“Give it your best, tranny Cinderella!”

Although Iwamuro-kun made resigned comments, his mouth was curved upwards. You really wanted to wear that Cinderella dress, didn’t you.
I decided that tomorrow I’d gift him some of the unused make-up from home.
He would probably be even happier that way. Quite possible that he’d open a door to a world he could never come back from, though.

*

The next day when I brought the make-up kit, Iwamuro-kun exclaimed,

“Ehhhh!”

but didn’t resist at all.

I put on some cream blush on his cheeks and then painted his mouth with lipstick, but he seemed delighted when he stood in front of the mirror.
In the end I secretly gave him a high quality facial mask to use the night before the athletics carnival. This way his skin would be silky smooth.
Iwamuro-kun teared up and declared that he would follow me. I had to say no to that.

Somehow a huge guy with a penchant for cross-dressing ended up attached to me…


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「今日のお兄ちゃんはおかしいよ!怖いよ!ッ!?いやだよっ!いやぁ!やめて!やめてぇっ!!」