Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!

---

Join the Evil God Army on discord!
https://discord.gg/0uufyDAsTZXQaMz1

---

Please contribute: http://kenkyokenjitsu.wikia.com

Also, thank you to Starcakez, Passerbyc, and the others editing the wiki!

---

https://www.japanvisitor.com/kyoto/bloody-ceilings
^ short but interesting read

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne_Boleyn
^ longer but even more interesting read

---

A rumour had formed around the fact that I was seen constantly getting into Kaburagi’s car.

‘Kaburagi-sama and Reika-sama went home together today.’

‘This morning, Kaburagi-sama told Reika-sama not to forget about their promise after school.’

This was horrible.

Since this was all Kaburagi’s fault, even if by some chance he came to blame me for it this time I was going to bite him back.

Seriously though, it was actually so depressing having these unfounded love stories being told about yourself.

“Gosh, Reika-sama. When did this happen?”

“I’ve always thought that you’d be a great match for Kaburagi-sama.”

“Say, Reika-sama, won’t you tell us what kind of chats you’ve been having with him?”

“Waah! Me too, me too!”

At lunch, the girls pestered me for love stories with stars in their eyes.

What kind of chats, you ask? Mostly about Kaburagi’s ridiculous romance, and lectures on how commoners live.

Did you know, girls~? Kaburagi wanted to light up fireworks for his confession, and he gave a girl he wasn’t even dating yet a handmade ring with their initials carved into it~

“We shared a car because I had some business with him, but nothing like what you girls are imagining, all right?”

“Ehh? But people saw him take your hand too.”

Probably that time I really didn’t want to go, he got tired of my trudging, and then dragged me away by the arm.

“Perhaps it was the time he pulled me forward because I was walking too slowly. I doubt it was more than that.”

“I heard that the two of you seemed to be talking quite cordially with each other.”

“About studies, I suspect.”

Like that time I suggested textbooks and workbooks as a present, or the time Kaburagi told me about his library date.

The girls seemed put out by my boring explanations, but who was going to take responsibility if these baseless rumours drove the boys even further away from me?

Right now I still had the faint hope that somewhere in this school at least one boy secretly had a crush on me.

Since I recently rid myself of that unlucky poem anthology my love life was definitely going to get better from here.

“Kisshouin-san, I’ve gathered the free time plans from the boys.”

Satomi-kun came my way with the papers for the class trip. I had already collected the same forms from the girls.

“Shall we hand them in then?”

“I can go by myself, you know?” he suggested, being considerate of the fact that I was chatting with my group.

“No, that is fine. Let us go together.”

And so we left for the Student Council in order to hand in the plans that everyone had for their free day.

Most people were going to the same places anyway, though.

Serika-chan and the others waved us goodbye.

“Where are you girls going on your free day?” Satomi-kun asked me.

“We plan on seeing a musical.”

“Oh? Quite a few people are doing that. Which one you watching?”

“The Phantom of the Opera,” I replied.

“The one with the falling chandelier?”

“Yes. And where might you going?”

“We’re gunna watch a soccer match.”

I see. So that was what the boys were interested in.

We were going to Europe after all.

Where else would the Kemari Dainagon and his friends go?

“My mum wants me to buy some stuff for her though. It’s pretty bad.”

“My.”

“I mean I looked at the shopping list but didn’t really get it, so some girls agreed to let me tag along when they’re going to each brand’s shops.”

Oh my god, this guy already had a plan to spend time with girls on his free day…!

Damned Satomi, I’m so envious.

This was an overseas class trip, okay?

Moriyama-san said there was this boy in her own class trip, and after visiting temples and shrines, and eating dango and just hanging out together they ended up dating.

As for me, far from having a boy in my own group, none of them would even talk to me.

So lonely.

I was supposed to be in a co-ed school, so how come I had been surrounded by girls since primary school?

It’s not like I was wearing a t-shirt telling the boys to keep a polite distance or anything.

“By the way, Kisshouin-san, have you heard of the ghost of the London Tower?”

“That sounds scary, so please stop talking.”

Talking about ghosts was liable to attract them, you know.

“Ehhh~ Doesn’t it get you excited though? Apparently Anne Boleyn appears with both her head and without it.”

“It does not. Let us change the subject. How many coins are you planning to toss into the Trevi Fountain?”

Satomi-kun was definitely the sort to go look at the blood ceilings of Kyoto, wasn’t he?

Hiiee~ Scaryy.

As we made our way to the Student Council room, the two of us continued chatting about what sights we wanted to see or what foods we wanted to try.

“Excuse me, we are here to submit the plans for the free day.”

“Thanks for your work.”

Besides Fellow Stalking Horse, today there were also two other boys and Wakaba-chan present.

It must have been rough having to come here even during their lunch breaks.

“You working hard, Mizusaki?”

“So-so. You doing your job as class rep properly?”

“Obviously, bro. Look, I’m even running errands at lunch time, right in front of your eyes. Show a bit more appreciation why dontcha.”

“As if.”

The two of them seemed to be good friends from the way they bantered.

“Oh? What are those cookies?” Satomi-kun gestured towards a clear bag filled with cookies atop the President’s desk.

“Takamichi brought them in.”

“Takamichi-san did?”

Wakaba-chan’s handmade cookies!?

“I baked some cookies yesterday, so I thought I’d bring them in for everyone~” Wakaba-chan explained with a cheery smile.

“Ah, so that’s how it is. Can I have one too? I’ll keep quiet about you guys snacking in the Student Council Room.”

“Ahaha, help yourself~”

He picked one up and took a bite.

“It’s great. You’re really good at this, Takamichi-san.”

That was the daughter of a cake shop for you.

“Would you like one too, Kisshouin-san?” she offered without worry, so I accepted without hesitating.

“Thank you. I think I would.”

They were chocolate cookies, delicious and sweet with just a hint of bitterness.

Maybe I could learn to bake cookies next.

Putting that aside though, the people in the room seemed a bit taken aback by my casual show of eating one.

Oh, so that’s what it was.

Nobody else here was aware that Wabaka-chan had already won over my stomach.

“That was delicious. Thank you.”

I wanted another one but I thought better of it.

Afterwards we were given some things to look out for during the free day and then we left the room.

Hmmm~

Judging by what I’d seen, it didn’t seem like her first time bringing her homemade food to the Student Council.

If Kaburagi knew, he’d definitely be jealous~

In terms of time spent with her, Fellow Stalking Horse was overwhelmingly in the lead.

Can you turn this around, Kaburagi!?

*

*

That night I called Wakaba-chan, which made for a good chance to thank her for the cookie too.

“It was crunchy and amazing. Would it be all right if I came over again to learn how to make them?”

“Of course. You’re welcome any time. The other day with the teppanyaki was fun, wasn’t it? The meat you brought over was delicious!”

“Huhu, it was.”

That was a fun day~

I even got so relaxed that I called her Wakaba-chan a few times.

“Do you often bring snacks to the Student Council Room?”

“Sometimes. Everyone’s so busy after school that we often run late enough to get peckish.”

Tomoe-senpai used to eat quite a few snacks too.

How nostalgic. Back then he was still growing after all.

“A special privilege of the Student Council, I see.”

“Ahaha. Oh, that reminds me. The manual from the other day is finished now.”

“Oh! How was it?”

“Apparently it’s been quite useful to new students. We guessed right about there being a lot they didn’t know.”

“I see. That is good news then.”

“A few of them had already brought convenience store lunches to school though. After all, it’s normal in other schools.”

“Quite.”

Everyone did it in my old life.

“I’ve been wondering if the students at Zui’ran have even ever tried a convenience store bentou before.”

“Hmmm~ I wonder.”

At the very least I don’t think the Internals had.

I often bought onigiri though. There were lots of types, but in the end I’d just choose salmon~

“Ah, but the other day I went to a fast food joint with Kaburagi-kun!”

Oh!? We were talking about this now!?

“My, with Kaburagi-sama?”

“Yeah. We were studying at a library, right? And then we went out for a little break but there weren’t any restaurants that suited Kaburagi-kun.

“I was wondering what to do when suddenly he asked me, ‘Is this place fine?’ and suddenly walked right into a fast food shop. I was sooo shocked. I was sure that people from the Pivoine had never even step foot in one before!”

Mn, you’d be right.

Kaburagi had only had his first time a little while ago.

“It seems like he goes there quite often. Apparently he normally orders the burgers, but goes for seasonal items when they appear.”

“Ohh~?”

“I thought Kaburagi-kun only ate at like 3-star restaurants. Who would’ve thought he ate fast food. I was really surprised. Apparently he started because he wanted to see what the rest of society was like.”

Ah, he stole my line about “life experiences” didn’t he. Damned Kaburagi.

“I mean I know we’ve been going to the same school, but I always thought of him as living in another world. I didn’t think he was so normal. I feel a little closer to him now.”

“I see.”

Oohh, so the plan to raise her familiarity worked then. Go me. Good advice, me!

“Anyway, Kaburagi-kun called me a little while ago to talk about the class trip. I mentioned that I wanted to go to some famous sweets stores, and he offered to take me. We ended up planning to go together. What do you think, Kisshouin-san…?”

“Haah!?”

Kaburag! What the heck was he doing this time!?

I know I told him to research her likes but I never told him to force his way into her free day!

“I… You must have your own plans as well. If he is bothering you, then I think you should turn him down clearly.”

Ahh, that idiot, that idiot…

If he got himself hated it was nothing to do with me.

“Mmmm, he’s not botheirng me at all. I’m actually glad that he offered.”

“Eh!?”

Now that was a surprise!

I mean, Wabaka-chan had to have had her own plans with her friends, right?

“What about your friends, Takamichi-san?”

“Ah, well you see, my other friends are all going to go shopping. I’m not really that interested in brand clothing, so I was planning on going to the famous confectioners and cake shops instead.

“I had actually planned to go on my own, but since it’s going to be my first time overseas, walking on my own is going to be a bit scary, right? I mean I don’t really understand the tip system, and…”

“I see.”

“I told Kaburagi-kun, so he suggested that he come along. I know he offered, but I’d feel bad about making him spend his free day accompanying me. He has to have places he wants to visit too, after all…”

Places that Kaburagi wants to visit?

As if that stupid disciple of mine had anywhere he’d want to see more than spending his free day with Wakaba-chan.

“…I truly wonder about that. Kaburagi-sama has been to Europe countless times before, so I doubt he has anywhere left he really wants to go.”

“You think so?”

“Quite. Besides, Kaburagi-sama has quite a sweet tooth, so perhaps he wanted to go as well.”

“I see. Then do you think it’d be okay to accept…? You know, Kaburagi-kun said that there was a dolce shop in Rome that he recommended. When I heard him say that I honestly really wanted to go!”

“Eh-, dolce…!?”

My heart skipped a beat.

The protagonist of ‘You Are My Dolce’ suddenly using that word?

I almost dropped my phone.

Being a sweet-tooth, in the manga the Emperor had compared his love to sweets(dolce).

And now the real-life Emperor was inviting Wakaba-chan to go try some together.

Was this a sign that things between these two were about to pick up their pace!?

Uhyohh!

I didn’t really understand why, but I was just so excited right now!

“If you want to go, then by all means go! Dolce! What a great idea! Dolce!”

“Y-Yeah, thank you…”

I was still in high spirits after we hung up, when a message from Kaburagi arrived.

‘We’re going to be spending our free time in Paris and Rome together!’

‘I wish you luck!’ I replied.

Are you going to say ‘You are my dolce’ to her one day!?

Are you!?

Kaburagi!

*

*

After sleeping on it and coming back to my senses, I sent him some advice.

‘Do not do anything too ostentatious. Do not draw attention from other Zui’ran students. Do not try to keep her with you longer than she wants to stay.’

I hoped this trip went well.

---

We have a new manga project.

From back alley brawls to bashful bonds, two former-delinquents face their next fight: long-term relationships.

During her high school years, Takebe was the top dog at her school. But with her old friends now living as happy riajuu, Takebe was faced with an impending sense of crisis.

Takebe thus resolved herself to quit delinquency, but the result of that was a fated meeting with her old rival, Soramori. Losing a fist-fight against Soramori, for some reason or other Takebe was now dating her.

What kind of relationship did the two of them have back in high school? And would Takebe ever manage to graduate from delinquency…!?

Chapter 1-1
Chapter 1-2
Chapter 2-1
MangaDex

---

Also reposting some fan art just because.

By Firi the translator.

By Elly on discord.

Also it’s not fanart, but Ved is to blame for this.

---

<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!

---

Join the Evil God Army on discord!
https://discord.gg/0uufyDAsTZXQaMz1

---

Please contribute: http://kenkyokenjitsu.wikia.com

Also, thank you to Starcakez, Passerbyc, and the others editing the wiki!

---

The following Monday, no sooner had I reached the entrance to the school building did Kaburagi approach me.

“Don’t forget our promise to meet after school,” he said, sounding a little more excited than usual.

Okay, okay.

Kaburagi had gone on a library date with Wakaba-chan yesterday.

In the evening I received a message from him that read,

‘I went to the library today. I’ll tell you the rest in person, so let’s meet after school in the usual room.’

I suppose it must have gone a lot better than last time.

What an open book…

*

*

“You’re late, Kisshouin!”

Incapable of hiding his good cheer, that was the first thing he said to me when I arrived at the conference room.

Knowing him, he wanted to talk about it so badly that he couldn’t help himself.

I was still taking a seat when he began recounting his Sunday with great gusto.

“Learning from my previous mistake, this time I suggested going to a local library. That way we wouldn’t meet Mizusaki by accident.”

“My~”

“So the two of us managed to study together without any interlopers. Unlike the previous library though, this one didn’t have a café, so after a while we ended up going outside for a break.”

“Ohh~”

“The problem was that there weren’t any good cafés outside. What the place did have was a fast food chain.”

“My~”

“So that was when I said it: ‘How about here?’ Takamichi was shocked. But as a man who’s already passed the fast food test, I walked in without hesitation.

“Obviously I upgraded my order to a meal. This time I went with a limited time offer.

“Did you know, Kisshouin? Fast food chains do this thing where they bring in special meal sets for a limited time.”

Yes, I do know.

Didn’t we see the ads last time?

“Naturally I asked for tomato sauce. And guess what? Takamichi forgot to ask for tomato sauce with her fries. That was when I suggested that we share mine.”

By now, Kaburagi had become unable to suppress his smile.

“After all, I’m generous, not a hogger like you. Takamichi thanked me and said ‘Since there’s only one, let’s use it carefully.’ Then I said ‘Yeah’ and the two of us ate it little by little…”

Wow, you’re smirking real bad, Kaburagi.

“Since I got the tomato sauce even though you had to ask for it, Takamichi thinks that I’m familiar with fast food. ‘I had no idea people like you came to these places too,’ she said. So I said, ‘Yeah, sometimes.’

“It was actually only my second time though. I have to say I handled myself pretty well. We talked a lot more than usual after that. Since we weren’t allowed to talk much at the library we talked all the more about what questions we found hard, or how we were doing at school. It was great.

“Before I knew it, we’d been in that store for over an hour. When it was time to head back to the library, Takamichi laughed and said ‘We talked too much.’

“Then she gave me a mint. It was so sweet…”

“Ohh~”

I guess it was extra sweet because he got it off the girl he liked.

This kid already had one foot in the world of maidens.

“Oi, Kisshouin! Are you even listening? What’s up with your responses!?”

“I most certainly am.”

You were just talking about how your library date with Wakaba-chan was a huge success, right?

Good for you~

“I think going to that fast food place was the right move. Takamichi laughed a lot too.”

“Perhaps she was more relaxed than usual because it was an environment she was used to. I imagine she also felt closer to you after finding out that you supposedly frequented the place.”

“Yeah, I think so too.” Kaburagi gave a large nod.

“Well what good news that turned out to be for you. Please keep at it. Well then, was that all you needed me for?”

Maybe after showing my face at the Salon for a bit I’d head to the clubroom.

I needed to come up with a plan to mingle with our new members as the club president.

“What are you talking about? I was just about to get into the main agenda.”

“Eh?”

“The reason I closed the distance between us this time was because I matched myself to her lifestyle. That’s why I’m planning on learning more and more about the life of a commoner. Next is the family restaurant.”

Guh. I was getting a bad feeling about this…

Kaburagi shot vigorously out of his chair.

“Let’s go, Kisshouin! To a family restaurant!”

I knew it!

*

*

I tried in vain to tell him that I had plans, and was dragged away to a faraway family restaurant.

“A family restaurant is the same as a regular restaurant, so you did not have to do this…”

“Come on, don’t be like that. Aren’t you my strategist?”

“I have no recollection of accepting such a shady position…”

Strategist? Are you kidding me?

Our relationship is one of master and disciple, okay!

As you’d expect of him, Kaburagi paid me no heed at all and instead examined the menu with great interest.

Listen to me, already.

I ended up ordering a doria.

Kaburagi asked for the steak meal set. Like a kid who learnt a new word and was bursting for a chance to use it.

There was a moment of shock when he found out that drinks were self-serve at family restaurants, which led to a lot of curiosity about the drinks dispenser.

Wha-, are you a kid or something? You’re only meant to take one drink at a time!

There was a short wait when we returned to our table before the food arrived.

Doria was amazing.

You had to eat it little by little if you didn’t want to get burnt though.

“…It thought this last time too, with the hamburger, but this meat is different from what I’m familiar with,” Kaburagi muttered after a bite of his steak.

No kidding.

The meat you’re familiar with probably comes from the winning cow at an agricultural fair, with a pedigree that goes back a hundred generations or something.

“There are all sorts of meat in this world.”

“I see…”

That was all he had to say, and he continued his meal in silence.

“By the way, apparently Takamichi studies every day on the train. Aren’t trains packed, though? So instead of trying to study in that cramped environment, I’m thinking about suggesting to her that I start driving her between home and school from now on.”

“That is an absolutely horrible idea.”

Not another one of his stupid suggestions…

“Why? This is for her sake.”

What do you mean ‘her sake’?

It’s obviously that you just want to spend more time with her outside of school.

“Takamichi-san has her own routine and her own way of living. It may be that she even studies better on the train. There are many people in this world who study better during transit. Your suggestion might actually bother her.”

“…Can’t you be in transit in a car instead?”

“So even though you go out of your way to pick her up from her house and ”
“Can you really see her happily studying without a care as you sit in silence right next to her, after having gone out of your way to pick her up right from her home? I know you have driven her to school a few times. Do you ever recall her pulling out a textbook and start reading?”

“No…”

“You see? Most people would be unable to. If Takamichi-san herself said that she was struggling it would be one thing, but if not then stop meddling with her life. You understand?”

“Alright…”

He gave a reluctant nod.

Was there any need to look so depressed…?

This guy never came up with anything good, did he.

“Well, onto the next topic then. I wanna go with her to somewhere besides a library. Where’s a good place?”

“Hmmm, well it certainly depends on the preferences of the girl in question. Being brought to somewhere you have no interest in would simply be a study in boredom, after all.”

“That makes sense.”

“What if you brought up our class trips, subtly probe her interests, and begin looking for places based on that? It would also make for a conversation that is not about studying.”

“That’s a great idea! I’ll try it right away!”

“Whether you are messaging them, or giving them a call, please take a moment first to consider other party’s circumstances first.”

“That’s all you ever say. I told you already, I’ve got it.”

If you got it then who was it that dragged me to a family restaurant just now!?

Anyway, since the Emperor had successfully cleared the Family Restaurant dungeon, it was now time for us to leave.

“Besides being made for commoners, these family restaurants aren’t all that different from regular restaurants.”

I told you that at the start!

But well, since we were already here, I took the opportunity to show off a technique that Kaburagi had definitely never seen before.

We brought our receipts to the register.

“I would like to pay separately.”

Splitting the cost is a thing that people do, okay? Don’t forget it.

*

*

The 23rd of April was the La Diada de Sant Jordi.

Men gave women roses, and women gave men a book.

Truly a holiday that smelt of a secret cabal of bookstores and florists.

Naturally, I wouldn’t let this chance escape me.

“Kaburagi-sama, please take this.”

“What’s going on?”

“Today is the La Diada de Sant Jordi. It is customary to give books to your friends, family, lovers, or benefactors.”

Along with some book that I picked out at random, I returned the unlucky poem anthology that had been sealed in my storehouse.

I did it!

“What the hell!? If you knew about it then why didn’t you tell me earlier!? Aaah! I completely forgot! I missed such a good chance!”

Dashing out of the salon, Kaburagi sprinted off to a florist.

Don’t forget to think about the number of flowers~

---

<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!

---

Join the Evil God Army on discord!
https://discord.gg/0uufyDAsTZXQaMz1

---

Please contribute: http://kenkyokenjitsu.wikia.com

Also, thank you to Starcakez, Passerbyc, and the others editing the wiki!

---

Fujiwara no Narimichi was a Major Counselor (Dainagon) during the latter half of the Heian period.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daij%C5%8D-kan#Council_of_State

Narimichi was famous for his god-like skill of Kemari (Japanese ancient ball kicking game), and a legend states that he made a round trip on the balustrade/railing of the Kiyomizudera stage, all while kicking a ball.
As such, he is sometimes known as the Kemari Dainagon (Kemari Advisor).

---

Tokugawa Tsunayoshi was a Tokugawa Shogun.

Owing to religious fundamentalism, Tsunayoshi sought protection for living beings in the later parts of his rule. In the 1690s and first decade of the 18th century, Tsunayoshi, who was born in the Year of the Dog, thought he should take several measures concerning dogs.

A collection of edicts released daily, known as the Edicts on Compassion for Living Things told the populace, among other things, to protect dogs. An apprentice was even executed because he wounded a dog.

Over 50,000 dogs were deported to kennels in the suburbs of the city where they would be housed. They were apparently fed rice and fish which were at the expense of the taxpaying citizens of Edo.

Therefore, he earned the pejorative title Inu-Kubō (The Dog Shogun).

---

The new 1st years were starting to look for a club.

If the Handicrafts Club wanted to thrive, what it needed was to secure new members.

I was going to show off Minami-kun to try and get some male members in.

Plenty of men worked in fashion and clothing so there had to be a few boys in Zui’ran that were interested in handicrafts.

I didn’t know where they were hiding, but I was going to snatch them all!

Or so I had thought, but it didn’t go as well as I wanted.

Wondering how the other clubs were doing their recruiting, I went over to the Soccer Club.

On the sports field, they were having a competition to see who could juggle the most times, which everyone was having a lot of fun with.

Hmm, so they were going for the thing where you gave newcomers a taste of the club, huh?

The 1st years seemed to be rather enjoying it.

In the end, the person who won the competition was the President of the Soccer Club.

Hmmmmm~ So he was actually the most skilled, then.

Even now, the president was effortlessly juggling the soccer ball as the spectators clapped ‘go, go, go, go’.

Walking over, I joined in and clapped along too, but the moment our eyes met he tripped over his own feet and dropped the ball.

My, my~

What a shame.

Ah well, you did your best, buddy. Clap clap clap.

No sooner had I started applauding did he entirely ignore the ball in favour of running over to me.

Ah, was he here to thank me for cheering for him?

“Are you here to get dirt on me again…!?”

“Oh my, what a terrible case of persecution complex! All I wanted to do was see how your club was doing, and this is how you treat me…”

So mean~ So cruel~

And from your phrasing, can I take it to mean that there’s still some dirt on you to use?

I leant around him to get a good look at his club members.

Oh my. Were those boys from my class that I spied?

So they were in the Soccer Club?

I waved at them.

Ah-, they ran.

Suddenly, the President of the Soccer Club took a step to the side.

In other words, so that he was right in front of me.

By the time I got to have another look, the club members were long gone.

Tsk.

“What my club was doing?”

The President of the Soccer Club was looking at me dubiously.

“Why, yes. I happened to be passing by when I noticed how much energy there was, so I simply wandered over. I must say that you are exceptional at juggling. No wonder the presidency went to you. I was very impressed. Why, it was though I was watching the Kemari Dainagon reborn.”

“Kemari Dainagon…”

Apparently in the Heian era there was a Dainagon who was an expert at kemari, and he juggled a ball as he made a lap of the Kiyomizudera stage guardrail from on top of it.

They even called him the Football Saint for that, but in my opinion being so obsessed about kemari that you’d dare yourself to juggle as you balance on the railings to a 13 metre drop actually makes you a Football Idio-…

Wait, no, no. Being so whole-heartedly dedicated is something to respect. Yeah.

“For your next challenge, I personally recommend that you try walking on the gym room balance beams as you juggle the ball.”

Soccer Club President, go forth and become the Kemari Dainagon of the modern age!

Even though I praised him, and even graciously offered some advice, the Kemari Dainagon just tried to shoo me away.

“You’re scaring all of my club members. I’m begging you, please go back to your own club. Here, please take this.”

In the end he even gave me a sports drink.

Oi, Kemari Dainagon. Don’t think you can appease me with just a bit of protection money.

In the end I went to look at how the other clubs were doing.

The majority just did as normal while the new students watched.

The Choir Club invited their guests to sing along, which seemed like a lot of fun.

In the Go and Shogi Club, they played a few rounds together.

Yeah. The places that got the 1st years involved tended to do a lot better.

And since training often brought cheering fangirls, one of the sports clubs was even luring in 1st years with women.

Speaking of which, the Chief of the Casanova Village had once been in this very club…

As I was walking along, I dropped by the Judo Club for a peek, only to find Nonose-san calling out to Iwamuro-kun.

“Takashi-kun, I’ll leave a towel here, okay~?”

Ta ka shi ku n?

Maiden No. 2, don’t you have something to report to your Guru?

Spywork done, I decided it was about time to head back to my own club.

I had just started walking back when I bumped into Birdbrain Katsuragi.

Oh right, this guy was a new student as well.

The moment he realised who I was, his face turned sour.

“I thought I told you to stay away from Enjou-san.”

He was speaking to a third year, and that was the first thing he said, huh?

Since he had no manners, I simply ignored him and moved on.

“Oi!”

“Pardon me. I have no time to spare on birdbrains that cannot even manage a greeting~”

Leaving a parting line, I ohohohoho’d away.

“Enjou-san already has Yuiko-san!”

Stop making a fuss, you noisy thing.

How many times are you going to repeat that the moment you see my face?

“My, what true love for your dear Yuiko-san~ How gallant of you~” I mocked.

Birdbrain flushed and was at a loss for words, so I just left him and quickly made my way.

Tsk. Things were going to get annoying with that guy around.

If he had any complaints, he could take them to Enjou.

*

*

Our recruitment efforts had previously amounted to explaining our club activities, and showing the 1st years around the club room.

However, after the new information I got from scouting, we were now incorporating activities so the guests would get a taste of what our club was like.

In front of the clubroom we placed a poster that read,

‘Free workshop currently available. Try your hand at handicrafts!’

Since it needed to be something simple, we decided that the course would involved making their own pocket tissue case.

We weren’t exactly 100% sure about the pocket tissue case, but at least the program showcased the atmosphere of our club to the visiting 1st years. Plus, it also made it easier for them to ask us questions, and by the time the course was over they were comfortable enough to chat about things besides the club activities too.

“I can’t believe we overlooked a trial program. As expected of you, Reika-sama.”

“Thanks to you, we’ve been getting more visitors than last year.”

“Even a few boys.”

“Should we have a corner for something similar during the School Festival, Reika-sama?”

Showered in praise from my club members, I smiled happily to myself as I counted the application forms.

Looks like I had Kemari Dainagon to thank.

*

*

I decided to grab some more application forms before we ran out, so I found myself heading to the Student Council Room.

Fellow Stalking Horse was inside, working with the other members.

They seemed rather busy, actually.

Wakaba-chan was wearing thimbles and flipping through what seemed to be balance sheets, using her other hand to tap rapidly at a calculator. It was rather incredible to see.

So this was the rumoured calculator technique of Takamichi Wakaba!

“Need something?” Fellow Stalking Horse asked from his seat.

I let him know what I was there for.

“Ah, hang on a moment.”

He got up to grab some for me.

Hmmm~

Why did it feel like a section of the room seemed to be on guard against me?

Did they see this as a trespass because I was with the Pivoine or something?

Fellow Stalking Horse came back with the forms for me.

“Is this enough?”

“Yes, this much is plenty. Thank you.”

On the contrary, it would be great if we could actually get enough recruits for all of these.

“By the way, Kisshouin, there’s something I’d like to show you if you have the time.”

“What might that be?”

“President!” One of the others jumped out of their seat. “You’re letting her know!? Isn’t that as good as showing our hand to the enemy!?”

Eh? What was this?

“Kisshouin is one of their most reasonable members, so it’s fine.”

Having reined in his subordinate, Fellow Stalking Horse held out a piece of paper.

“Here, have a look.”

‘Manual for Dealing with the Pivoine’

“A lot of the new Externals mess up in their interactions with the Pivoine. That’s why we thought a manual would be good.”

“My.”

I didn’t see why they shouldn’t.

Usually it fell to the class representative or an Internal Student to subtly teach the newcomers, but it was hardly comprehensive.

As a result, it wasn’t uncommon to see some External breaking out in a cold sweat after making a mistake.

Even the Internal Students had trouble sometimes deciding how much they could say.

“We’ve had something like this before, but parts of it were vague and unhelpful, so this time we clarified and itemised it all. What do you think?”

“It sounds like a good idea. Will you be providing these to all of the External Students?”

“No, just the class representatives. I don’t think it would be a good idea to hand these out, so they can pass the word on instead.”

“I see.”

The things on that list were unspoken rules rather than official ones, after all, so it wouldn’t do to leave evidence.

Fellow Stalking Horse looked at the manual with an ambivalent smile.

“Personally, I don’t know how I feel about the Student Council being the spearhead for a manual that promotes preferential treatment of the Pivoine. Takamichi was the one who argued that without the manual, it would be the Externals getting the short end of the stick.”

Wakaba-chan!?

Come to think of it, most of this manual was identical to the letter that I gave Wakaba-chan, the one with the list of things to be careful about.

I looked towards her, still clicking away at her calculator, and hearing her own name she looked up in my direction as well and flashed us a smile.

“In your opinion, is there anything missing, Kisshouin?”

“Let me see… Hmmm… Do not sit in the reserved Pivoine seats. Do not casually abandon decorum with the Pivoine. Give way if you come across them in hallways. Do not step on peony flowers nor handle them roughly while on school grounds…”

“Is she the Dog Shogun or something…?” somebody whispered.

“My, that was a good one!” I smiled affectionately at him like he was a dear friend, but he suddenly looked downwards and fell silent. My~

Since the contents of the manual were basically the same as my own thoughts, there wasn’t much to add.

“I think this is fine as it is. Going into too many trivialities would become its own problem, after all,” I told Fellow Stalking Horse. “What if instead of leaving it as a manual for dealing with the Pivoine, you incorporate it into a list of customs endemic to Zui’ran as a whole? Things to watch out for that you would not have to in other schools. I think you would get less backlash that way.”

“I see. That might be a good idea. As it is now, it’s a bit too blunt about the special treatment that the Pivoine get. Still, customs that you’ll only find in Zui’ran, huh? Like what?”

“I have one! The ban on gumboots!” Wakaba-chan suddenly offered, shooting her hand up energetically.

“Is that something you’d really put in the manual…? I don’t think anybody but you would have done that anyway, Takamichi.”

“No way!”

“I’m serious. Come on, you should have noticed it from the fact that there’s no exclusive Zui’ran version of it.”

“Ehhhh. Then how about no running in the hallways, or not taking the stairs two at a time then?”

“Takamichi, there are rules against those in normal schools too.”

“Ehhhh.”

The two of them seemed to be getting along really well.

This…

“Then what is one of Zui’ran’s special customs?” asked Wakaba-chan at a loss.

Suddenly all eyes were on me again.

“Let me see… For example, a note that only the girls are to use ‘gokigen’yoh’, perhaps.”

“Ohh~! I see~!” clapped Wakaba-chan.

“As almost everyone here entered Zui’ran during middle school or high school, what if you wrote down a list of what you were taken aback by when you first began?” I suggested.

“I see. Let’s try that. Any ideas, guys?” asked Fellow Stalking Horse.

“Homemade Valentine’s chocolates are frowned upon.”

“Why is that?”

“Beats me. I guess to avoid food poisoning?”

“I have one! The ban on using promotional towels with company logos on it!”

“Takamichi-san, the issue there isn’t some custom, but that you have no hope left as a girl.”

“Ehhhh.”

“Still, I can see some of the boys doing that, so maybe we’ll put it in anyways.”

“Bowing in front of the school gates.”

“Isn’t that actually in the school rulebook?”

“The ban on conbini bentou.”

“That’s an important one.”

“It is, isn’t it. I stood out so badly during my first few lunches because of that.”

“I have one! The ban on wearing raincoats!”

“Takamichi, I think that’s just you.”

“Geez, Mizusaki-kun. I’ve never worn one either, okay?”

Good luck, guys~

With my application forms in hand, I left the Student Council Room.

 

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If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!

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Also, thank you to Starcakez, Passerbyc, and the others editing the wiki!

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I-I’m back for real this time…? Next chapter is over half done already…

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Conbini, or Japanese convenience stores, are a lot more convenient than those elsewhere in the world.

From a wide selection of foods both hot and cold, to make-up or domestic goods, or even ATMs, they are closer to ubiquitous and fun-sized supermarkets than anything else.

Like, they are actually convenient. You could probably live on just conbini purchases for a month or two if you weren’t too fussed about your health.

Famiresu, or Japanese family-friendly restaurants, are casual restaurant chains that provide a wide selection of cheap-ish but decent meals, somewhere between the pricing of fast food and a regular restaurant.

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“The truth is a bitter pill to swallow.”

That was the first thing Kaburagi said to me after calling me to the usual conference room.

“Pardon me?”

“What you said to me that day. They were too painful and harsh for me to accept on the spot.”

“I see…”

Well, he did seem to have suffered quite a blow.

I mean, I even started to feel a bit guilty about it.

Mentally, I was just a squishy blancmange, but perhaps Kaburagi wasn’t much better.

“But as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t in all honesty deny it… After a night of thinking about it, I was forced to accept that you were completely right. I’ll admit it. I’ve been using Yurie as the basis for my decisions.”

“I see…”

So he spent the whole night thinking in that state…?

I’m sorry.

Even though I was the one who said that to you, I was fast asleep around that time.

But I was really impressed that he managed to acknowledge his own faults.

That was his only good point for you; being earnest and honest.

“I’ve spent my whole life with Yurie… I haven’t ever looked at any girls besides her, so I don’t know anything about them. I think Aira might be the only exception, but the two of them have basically the same taste to begin with. That’s probably why.”

“Right.”

“Since Yurie liked it, Takamichi would probably like it too. That was the way I was thinking.”

“Yes…”

Kaburagi hung his face in shamed frustration for a moment, but quickly lifted his head.

“But Kisshouin.” He met my eyes with a serious gaze. “The one I love right now is without a doubt Takamichi.”

“…!”

Y-Yeah.

Even though it wasn’t me he was talking about, being stared at like that and hearing things like ‘the one I love’ was setting my heart off like a jackhammer.

In the end I had to avert my eyes in a panic.

That was too much stimulation for a person from the Forever Alone Village.

Guh, one day even I would have something like…!

“Kisshouin. She and I have completely different ideas of normal high school life, don’t we?”

“I believe so. She attended public schools until she entered high school. That upbringing is completely different to what a Pivoine member would experience.”

“So that’s how it is…” he nodded. “Then in that case, I’ll learn about her way of life and her way of thinking.”

“I certainly do not see why not.”

That was basically the first thing anybody did. Learning more about the person they liked, I mean.

“But there’s a problem.”

“Yes?”

“I have no idea what this ‘normal high school life’ is supposed to be to her.”

That’s where we had to begin?

I suppose it made sense.

He was His Majesty the Emperor, after all.

As if he had any idea where to even begin learning about the way a commoner lived.

Actually, I wondered how much he even knew about how regular people lived.

“Kaburagi-sama, have you ever been to a conbini?” I asked him tentatively.

“Don’t take me for an idiot.” He grew a little sullen. “I’ve obviously done at least that much.”

“Then have you ever been to a fast food joint?”

“Fast food? I’ve… never tried any…”

“What about a family restaurant?”

“…I haven’t.”

A sheltered rich boy, as expected.

Apparently the look I gave him had illustrated what I thought of that, because he suddenly snapped at me.

“What!” he demanded. “Have you ever been to one!?”

What was this guy saying? Of course I had.

Just who did he think he was talking to?

Reika’s Cheeseburger Rankings was a thing, you know.

Some people thought of ‘cheeseburgers’ as all the same, but the actual burger could vary wildly from shop to shop.

Otherwise I wouldn’t have had to spend so many days in the field investigating.

“I’ve almost never eaten junk food.”

I see.

Junk food is an old friend to most commoners, you know?

And standing in front of you is the Junk Food Queen!

“Weren’t you raised pretty much the same way? How come you’ve been to those kinds of places before?”

“Because everything is valuable life experience,” I answered.

Good joke, me.

The real reason was just because I liked them~

“Then Takamichi’s been to eat fast food too?”

“I would certainly think so.”

She didn’t seem like the type to fastidiously avoid it, meaning that she probably did have it sometimes.

“Is that so. Alright then. In that case, please take me to a fast food joint right away!”

“Hah!? Right now!?”

“Yeah. Let’s strike while the iron is hot. I need to know right now. Come on, let’s go.”

Eh!? Why did I have to…!?

“Could you not simply ask somebody else? Why me?”

“You’re the only one I know that’s ever been to one of those places.”

“You must be joking. It is just fast food; you definitely know others who have been. Actually, Takamichi-san certainly qualifies. Why not use this opportunity to have her take you? A little date of sorts. A perfect fit for a normal high schooler.”

“No. I don’t want her to know that I’ve never been before. If I ever go with her, I want to be able to smoothly lead.”

What the heck kind of stupid pride was that?

“Does she really need somebody to lead her in a fast food store?”

“Just trust me. I’ve got to scout the location before a date. Let’s go.”

“I actually have cram school today…”

“Then we just have to hurry before your cram school starts. Hurry up and get ready.”

This guy…

This was the same guy who promised earlier to be more considerate, right?

On the other hand, he didn’t look like he’d be easily convinced to back down.

Were we going to be going in our uniforms like this?

I was worried we’d stand out.

And what if somebody we knew saw us?

“Then we should at least pick somewhere further away where we will not bump into classmates.”

“Why?”

“The rules say that we are only to go to lessons or cram school right after school, you know?”

“…And who exactly would stop us?”

Yeah~ Good point.

I couldn’t imagine anybody with the guts to tell off the Emperor of Zui’ran just for stopping by a fast food place after school.

Besides, plenty of other people couldn’t be bothered to go home and change before going shopping or eating anyway.

“It would not be good for others to know that the daughter of the Kisshouin family has been to a fast food restaurant! And our uniforms are too eye-catching!”

Did he have any idea how much care I’d taken not to get caught all this time!?

As if I was going to let all my efforts go to nothing thanks to this stupid disciple!

Plus, the biggest problem was that being seen with him would start weird rumours!

“Hmm… Alright.”

“And please avoid telling anybody else about this.”

“Fine.”

He had better mean it.

I wouldn’t allow anyone to get in my way.

Still, I supposed I could go with him for today. After all, I was a bit harsh to him that day.

And that was how I ended up getting in his car to head to a far away fast food joint.

*

*

We had ourselves dropped off near a train station, and walked into a nearby fast food restaurant.

All over the place were students from other schools.

“Oi, Kisshouin! Teach me how to order!” he whispered to me.

“You simply line up at the counter and tell them what you want when it is your turn.”

“I see.”

Kaburagi complied and lined up in a queue.

He seemed to be standing there rather arrogantly, but a closer inspection revealed that he was actually staring at the menu up top.

Gosh, did this guy stand out.

Everybody was looking at us.

Some of the girls were taken with Kaburagi and began whispering furiously, but the guy himself paid them no heed and kept his gaze nailed to the menu.

It was normal for Kaburagi to ignore the girls around him, but this time it seemed to be out of a genuine focus on the menu.

Eventually it was our turn.

Kaburagi ordered an iced coffee and a hamburger.

“Would you like fries with that? It would upgrade your order to this meal set,” suggested the employee.

Kaburagi’s eyes swam about, suddenly overwhelmed.

I tugged on his sleeve to snap him out of it.

“Since we are already here, why not?” I suggested to him.

“Good idea,” he immediately agreed.

In the end I got a cheeseburger meal as well.

Trays in hand, the two of us went to find somewhere to sit on the second floor.

“This was cheaper than expected…” Kaburagi muttered to himself in awe.

Well yeah.

But when he took a sip of the iced coffee, he grimaced.

“This is really watered down,” he said.

“That is how they are,” I replied.

There was no use in expecting anything out of the drinks from these places.

I took a sip myself of my oolong tea and unwrapped my burger.

After watching me, Kaburagi copied my actions before taking a bite.

“I see.”

He seemed to come to some sort of realisation before nodding to himself in admiration.

Kaburagi looked around.

“There are a lot of high schoolers here…” he muttered.

“It is the right price for a small snack after school,” I explained. “It is also another chance to spend more time with your friends.”

“I see…”

“If you feel a little more hungry than that, usually you would head to a family restaurant instead, or if you are a boy, then perhaps a ramen stall.”

“I see…”

Kaburagi went back to his chips.

French fries were good stuff~

I never went to a fast food place without ordering chips, you know?

Naturally there was a Reika’s Chips Ranking as well.

French fries were my favourite.

I took a mouthful of fries as well.

Oops, nearly forgot.

I opened up my tomato sauce.

Tomato sauce was essential to french fries, after all.

Kaburagi’s eyes widened.

“Oi! What the heck is that!?” he demanded.

“Tomato sauce,” I answered primly.

After dipping a chip in, I carried it into my mouth.

Kaburagi began searching his own tray.

“Why? Why doesn’t my tray have done!?”

“If you do not ask while ordering, they will not give you any.”

“Why didn’t you say it for me!? I didn’t hear anything about this!”

“Oh, did you want some?”

Kaburagi glared at me in vexation.

Huhu.

I paid him no mind and continued to eat my sauce-covered french fries.

Yummyy~

Tomato-sauce covered french fries are so good.

“…Let me borrow that.”

“Out of the question.”

If he used some too, there wouldn’t be enough for me.

I was one of those types who had to have tomato sauce with her chips.

“Then couldn’t you go get some for me too?”

“No. Why do you not go yourself?”

Going up and down those stairs was a pain.

“…I still haven’t had enough experience with fast food restaurants to go by myself.”

“What in heavens are you talking about?”

“…There are so many people lining up. Should I really join the queue just for tomato sauce?”

“You can simply ask from the side of the counter.”

“But the staff are so busy. It’s too hard for me,” he shook his head.

Then just give up.

“Aren’t you a bit too cold?”

“A painful mistake is the best lesson. From now on, will you ever forget to order tomato sauce again? This is a learning experience.”

Isn’t that great, Kaburagi?

You’ve learnt something else about fast food chains.

Kaburagi just looked at me bitterly as he chewed on his hamburger.

It occurred to me again that His Imperial Majesty Emperor Kaburagi was sitting next to me, chewing on a cheeseburger from a fast food joint.

This was beyond the wildest dreams of anybody from Zui’ran.

And to think that he’d be so lost in here too.

“Anyway, I think I’ve mostly grasped how these fast food joints work.”

“How naïve.”

“What?”

I took a sip of my tea before replying.

“Unlike this store where your food is mostly prepared beforehand, there are fast food places where they begin cooking after you order.”

“What did you say!?”

“In those cases, they give you a ticket and you have to wait until the cooking is done.”

“Is such a thing even possible…!?”

“They may all be ‘fast food’ stores, but each one has their own characteristics, and most importantly, their own menus. You would be making a grave mistake if you thought today was all there was to it.”

Kaburagi looked thunderstruck by my revelation.

Fwohfwohfwoh! The commoner’s way of life has profound depths!

After we finished our meals, we stood up from our seats.

Oi, Kaburagi.

This guy was actually just going to up and leave.

Your throw your own rubbish away here, dude.

This isn’t the time to be going “I see…” and nodding to yourself.

You better take notes on everything you remember from today.

Because I’m not going to teach you again, okay!?

“Next is the family restaurant,” he announced.

Go by yourself!

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Amazing burger advertisement.

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