Chapter 34 – “The skill of a craftsman sure shines, huh. I’ve said it twice now!”

Now then, shall I try my best as well, today!

Today I’m planning on making the Otherworld version of “nikujaga”. The ingredients I’m using are ork meat and few buttered potatoes, as well as salt, mirin and sugar etc. for the flavouring.
First I’ll be chopping boned ribs into strips of a few centimetres. After that I’ll put oil into the pan and add in the meat together with bite-sized pieces of buttered potato. After that I’ll add the seasoning, simmer it on medium heat, and then when the colour of the meat starts to change, it’s done.

Hm♪ Hm♪ Around now, I guess?

I opened the lid to have a look inside when I suddenly heard Timu and Pervert(Nielsen)’s voices.

“Tilea-sama!”

“Oneesama!”

“What isss it, you two? Did you spot a new type of dragon or something?”

“No, it is not a report of that sort.”

“Then what?”

“Milady. The reorganisation of the Household Guard has been completed, and on this occasion we humbly inquire the Evil God Army’s strategy from this moment on.”

“I eagerly await your orders, Oneesama, as do all members of the Household Guard, Nielsen included.”

Is what Timu and Pervert(Nielsen) suddenly said. In the past they did say stuff like “reorganising the Household guard” or “we would like you to come for an inspection”, so apparently Timu and the others are inviting me to play Evil God Army. After what I said during tea time the other day, they probably thought I was one of them. Well it’s true that in my past life I was a chuunibyou, after all. I’m healed now though.

Only, if I’m being too negative about their hobby, they’ll just go against me. I was like that too, so I understand. I guess I don’t have any option except to play along for now, and warn them indirectly.

Alright. Now that that’s decided, shall I play the part of Generalissimo too!?

Let’s see, let’s see. What should we do first. Pervert(Nielsen) said that he wanted to hear the battle plans, but right now I don’t know about this pretend Demon King Army. Mm~mm, maybe for now I’ll allocate them positions or something.

“Well then, Timu, I appoint you Viceroy of the Evil God Army. From now on, you are to decide on the direction of the army yourself.”

“Understood. I am joyed at being appointed such an important task. I shall strive to meet your expectations with my life.”

Timu’s eyes sparkled in excitement.

With her life? …Well, it’s natural that a chuunibyou would get excited after you tell them something like that. I might have gone a bit too far with the Viceroy thing. But, well, look at how happy she is. Let’s just take this as a good thing.

“Niel, you’ll be Household Guard Captain, just like before, okay?”

“Yes Milady. I shall fulfil this role with my life.”

Pervert(Nielsen)’s eyes sparkled as well. Mn. Just as expected.

“Also, while we’re at it, shall we copy the Demon King Army and create a Six Demon Generals group as well? Is there anybody suitable for being a general in Timu’s Praetorian Guard?”

“Oneesama, it is not my Household Guard, but yours.”

“Aah, right. And so, was there anybody talented amongst the people you play with? Uummm, I know Bel, but…”

“Belnandes is talented as an intelligence operative, but he does not have the calibre to lead an army.”

So explained Pervert(Nielsen).

Hmmmm, I see…

But if Pervert(Nielsen) is the only one with a role, the others are going to get dissatisfied, you know. People need to take turns for stuff like that.

Speaking of which, how have they been deciding the roles thus far?

Scissors-Paper-Rock? Or did Timu appoint them?

Well, Scissors-Paper-Rock or Eenie Minie Moe is all good I guess. When in Rome, do as the Romans. I’ll follow their rules.

“Right. Then Timu, you’ll be both the Viceroy and a General. I’ll find somebody talented before long.”

“Understood. Please leave it to me. I shall crush all of your enemies, Oneesama!”

Looks like Timu’s having a lot of fun.

She was particularly ecstatic when I told her about the Viceroy thing. She started having a great time, asking Pervert(Nielsen) stuff like “How are our forces in the Capital?” and “How goes the preparations against the Demon King Army?”. I even ended up hearing crazy stuff like “We shall eradicate them along with the village!”.

Timu, you’re getting a bit too into it, you know. I’ll be troubled if you start asking stuff like “When shall we attack the Capital?”.

But you know, sorry about this, but I have my cooking training, so I can’t always be playing with you. As her older sister, I’d better find her some suitable playmates, right?

Hm~mm, who else seems suitable…

Dad and Mum have the shop, so I can’t ask the impossible.

So I guess it has to be Loser(Bizef) after all, huh.

Well, he has his job, but it’s not like he’s any use at it. As long as he’s useless as a town guard, he’s as good as playing. Then I want him to at least bond with the townsfolk.

As I was thinking that,

“Tilea-chan.”

Oh! Speak of the devil.

“Hello, Bizef-san! What brings you, today?”

“Another present, Tilea-chan.”

Present!?

In Loser(Bizef)’s hands was a box with a ribbon neatly wrapped around it. It really looks like a present.

Oi, oi, he’s completely turned into one of those guys that keeps giving a girl presents. Is this because I was overly happy that time with the maid outfit?

Honestly, enough. I won’t be able to sleep well if he forces himself into bankruptcy.

“Bizef-san, you don’t have to force yourself. You’ve already thanked me enough.”

“Yeah, but you know, the clothing this time is special made. You’ll definitely like it.”

Special made? …Is this guy really okay?

It isn’t just repairs for his rare equipment, but also three pairs of order made clothes, you know. I would think that it would be quite an expenditure, but…

“Bizef-san, it really has been plenty.”

“Well I can’t give it back now, and it would make me happiest for you to have it. So take it, okay?”

Hmm. If he can’t return it, then would it just go to waste?

“I understand. Bizef-san, thank you very much. I shall accept it then.”

I accepted the box from Loser(Bizef).

Inside was…

Black lace. Frills on a western style dress. Commonly known as “goth loli”.

Oohh! Oh my goodness! The skill of a craftsman sure shines, huh.

Heh. This makes it the second time I’ve said it. The second time I’ve been made to say it. What a magnificent piece of art.

Damned Loser(Bizef). Not bad. You clearly remembered all the plans I talked about when I asked you for the maid clothing, didn’t you. Even the fine details have been reproduced.

“I’m happy that you like it. It makes the fortune I spent worthwhile.”

“Fortune… Just how much did this cost?”

“Hmm~ About three million gold I guess?”

“Th-, Three million!? B-, Bizef-san, are you okay spending so much?”

“Well, I’ll make do somehow. I borrowed a little from somewhere a bit dangerous, but as long as I repay them before the deadline it won’t be an issue.”

U-, Ummm~ Isn’t that pretty bad? It’s one of those illegal loans, right?

Uu, although he did it on his own accord, since I know it was for my sake my heart hurts.

Just as the guilt was rising up inside me, Pervert(Nielsen) joined our conversation.

“Why if it isn’t Garbage! I see. So you have brought tribute to Tilea-sama. Although you are garbage, your attitude is admirable. I shall praise you on behalf of Tilea-sama.”

“You again, huh! I thought about forgiving you since you were a pitiful crazy, but it looks like we’ll have to settle this between us, huh.”

“You speak beyond the place of garbage. I do not mind settling it right here. The dread――”

“Nielsen, will you not stop! Have you forgotten Oneesama’s teachings! She has already warned us. That she would not excuse any actions that would impede her strategy.”

“M-, My deepest apologies.”

Hearing Timu’s sharp words, Pervert(Nielsen) dropped into a dogeza. Pervert(Nielsen)’s special skill of repeatedly apologising with his forehead against the ground was already enough to be his special skill.

“Haha, what the hell? Honestly, as a grown adult, you sure have interesting games.”

Honestly, it’s exactly as he says. This is playing “Master and Servant” you know. Seeing a grown adult dogeza to a child really is too surreal, isn’t it. Although I’ve already grown used to it…

“But still, hasn’t Timu’s atmosphere changed quite a bit?”

“Aah, don’t mind that. Timu is in her rebellious phase.”

“Really? Hm~ Timu-chan, don’t trouble your sister too much.”

“I-, I need not be told that by YOUUU――! I, trouble Oneesama, you say? Bastarddd, what disgrace to receive from a human――”

“Hush, hush. Calm down, Timu. Have you already forgotten your promise with your Oneechan?”

“M-, My deepest apologies. I-, I have once again let you down, Oneesama.”

“There, there. It’s okay. You’re a good girl, Timu. I haven’t been disappointed.”

I rubbed Timu on the head.

“Sorry, Bizef-san. Since Timu’s like this, for today you should…”

“G-, Got it. Timu-chan, I’m sorry. Well then, I’ll be leaving this with you.”

Saying that, Loser(Bizef) immediately left. I’m a bit worried about him since he even took out a loan, but he’s an adult too. He said it would be fine, so I’m sure it will be. Anyway, he did go to such lengths to give me this present. I’d better make the best of it. Now then, shall the goth loli outfit make its debut? I spoke to Timu in my arms.

“Timu, won’t you change into this for me?”

“Understood.”

Timu took the goth loli outfit and began to stare hard at it. Since it’s something different, she’s probably quite curious.

“Oohh! What a nostalgic outfit!”

“Eh!? Timu, you’ve worn something like this before?”

As far as I can remember, we’ve never had an outfit like this before, but…

“It is quite similar to the outfit I wore in my childhood.”

“Eh? Eh? Eh?”

“As you would expect, once I passed a thousand years old I stopped wearing it, but… based on my current body, this would certainly be a perfect fit, wouldn’t it.”

Aah, I see. So she’s talking about Demon Camilla. Mn, it’s true that this outfit fits with the image of stuff you’d imagine demons and vampires to wear. Timu, you’ve got quite the imagination, don’t you.

“I see. Then how about putting it on for the first time in a while?”

“Yes. If that is your wish, Oneesama…”

Timu took the goth loli outfit and went to change.

After waiting for a few minutes…

Timu appeared before me in goth loli.

“Fuoahhh. It fits you. It super fits you.”

Just as expected. No, this destructive power is even GREATER than expected!

Goth loli really does suit Timu.

“I see. If you think so, then I shall make this my family heirloom, Oneesama.”

“Yes, yes, please do. How about changing your hairstyle while you’re at it?”

I gave Timu twintails.

How about it! The goth loli twintail Timu is super lovely!
She’s like a princess from somewhere. You’re firing up my twintail-loving heart.

UOHHHH, GOOD JOB, ME! SPLENNNDID――!

“Ehehe, you’re so cute, Timu.”

“O-, Oneesama. Your eyes have become scary again.”

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<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

 

Monster Parent is a term that refers to those crazy parents that make unreasonable demands for their children. Like, those overprotective, crazy mums that blame other people for everything when it comes to their children, even when their children are in the wrong. You see them in tv shows sometimes. Manga and stuff too.

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Chapter 33 – “Shall we have tea?” (Finale)

Uuh, groaned Pervert(Nielsen) on the floor. Timu was dumbfounded too.

Hah-!? Oh no!

The mood worsened a little. Even though I told him “Hit me!” myself, I went and did something like this. Thinking about it carefully, there’s no way that the chuunibyou Pervert(Nielsen) could read the mood.

“Aah~ Sorry, Niel. You did really well. That last one hurt. It really surprised me.”

“O-, u-, to be praised by Tilea-sama is… t-, the acme of honou, r. T-, This too is th, anks… to y-, your guidance…”

Pervert(Nielsen) praised me with a suffering expression on his face.

Ahaha~ I really am sorry. You don’t need to force yourself, so just lay there and rest.

“B-, But still, Oneesama. To think that even a strike that crushed orichalchum only damaged you to this degree. No wonder you didn’t even flinch from my secret technique.”

Perhaps sensing the mood, Timu changed the subject. It feels like even Timu is being considerate of me.

“Haha, something like that happened too, didn’t it. But your path down the road of magic is just beginning, you know. There’s plenty of room to grow.”

“I wonder. I believed that I had already mastered magic, but…”

“Timu, that’s hubris. You’re still a beginner that’s only just starting to learn.”

“I-, I am a beginner!? This is the first time I have been told such a thing.”

Timu looked shocked and upset. Damn Timu, just because you can use magic, you’ve become so full of yourself, huh. At this rate, Timu is going to turn into a frog in a well.

“Timu, do you think you’re the number one in magic or something! If you keep thinking like that, you’ll put a stop to your own growth, you know.”

“That’s true. It seems that without my knowledge, I placed a limit on myself.”

“Well, I guess it can’t be helped. When you learnt magic, nobody was around to teach you after all.”

“It is as you say. There was nobody around me who could reach my level of talent in magic. Had it not been for your words, Oneesama, I would have been satisfied with the status quo.”

“Mn. If you’ve noticed, then there’s no problem. Don’t get so down about our fight that time. Your attacks were pretty powerful, you know? It’s just that I’ve already gotten used to people firing airguns at me.”

“Oneesama, what is this ‘eh ahgun’?”

“Hmm~ How do I explain this? Like a BB round――no, like a bullet-firing machine, I suppose you could say?”

“A weapon akin to a crossbow?”

Mm~mm, strictly speaking it’s kind of different, huh? It’s based on a pistol shape after all…

No, no, this age doesn’t even have the concept of guns. Well, a crossbow is also a long-distance weapon, so it falls into the same category. I guess you could say that it’s similar.

“Mn, something like that, I guess.”

“Might that rivals Star Freya[Super Demonic Star Magic Bullet]――I assume that this ‘eh ahgun’ must be something akin to a divine artifact.”

“Haha, it’s nothing so grand. Even kids have them after all.”

“Wha-!? In ‘Japan’, even children walk around with such weapons!?”

“W-, Well, yeah. You don’t have to act so surprised, though…”

“O-, Oneesama, this ‘Japan’ is truly a frightening place, isn’t it.”

“Hm? Well, the science is more developed over there, so you’re certainly right. And so you see, for a period of time, I was being targeted by this group of kids with air guns.”

“Although they were children, they were a group armed with weapons rivalling the might of my secret technique. It is simple to imagine the danger they posed.”

“So you understand, Timu? Honestly, there was nothing more annoying.”

Seriously, just remembering it pisses me off! I don’t know who came up with it, but there was this otaku-hunting boom amongst the brats in my area, so I ended up being targeted. Each time I went outside, they’d relentlessly attack me. Just how much trouble did I suffer just going to the convenience store!

“Well then, Oneesama, how did you deal with it?”

“As you’d expect, when there were too many of them I would run, but if I saw an opening, I’d do one of them in. Then their parents would come out, and it’d become even more chaotic.”

“I see. If they were children strong enough to attack you, Oneesama, their parents must have proved to be quite the foes.”

“Yeah, they really were. They were monster parents, you know.”

“Monster parents!? What strong sounding… Something like a chimeric beast made from various monsters?”

“Well, you’re right in that they were incomprehensible beings. Honestly, those shrill voices were exactly like a chimera’s.”

Just how difficult did those monster parents make my life. To begin with, it’s your fault for raising them wrong!

Hahh~ Just remembering it is irritating me. Getting brought up with the PTA when I hit a primary schooler at the age of 20. Getting talked behind my back by the people in the neighbourhood. And on top of all that, getting questioned by the police. It never rained, but poured.

“From ‘dokyun’, to groups with high-powered weapons, to monster parents – your battles never ended, did they, Oneesama.”

“That’s right. That period of my life was called the First Evil God Encirclement. After that, even the nation itself began to see me as an enemy, but I’ll tell you the rest some other time.”

“Yes. I look forward to hearing about your military history. You are my pride, Oneesama.”

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“That’s right. That period of my life was called the First Evil God Encirclement.”
Parody of the Nobunaga Encirclement, of which there were three

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<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

 

Lending somebody your chest means that as a higher-ranked student, you’ll spar with a weaker student to give them practice. I’m not sure if we have an equivalent in English martial arts jargon.

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Chapter 32 – “Shall we have tea?” (Middle)

“Haha, I’m garbage. Absolutely garbage. I’m just a former chuunibyou NEET after alll~”

I was depressed from their mental attacks. They probably didn’t mean it, but their verbal attacks all hit me in the vitals. It’s like the old wounds from my past life are being gouged open again.

You know, Oneechan needs to restore her Life Points, so she’s going to hole up in her shell a little, okay?

While I was grumbling to myself in depression,

“Are you listening, Oneesama? Oneesama!”

Ha-!? Timu’s voice brought me back to earth.

No good, no good. What am I going to achieve by living in the past!

My name is Tilea. I’m different from that garbage Shioda who lived his life as a NEET. I’m the poster girl for the restaurant “Berum”, and a fine chef.

Get a hold of yourself!

“Sorry, Timu. I wasn’t listening. So, what were you asking?”

“Yes. Oneesama, besides the 『Killer Nunchaku』 you have plenty of other splendid divine techniques, yes? As I recall, it was seven-hundred and seventy-seven of them…”

“UU-!? Timu, you actually remembered.”

“I am also very curious about this, Tilea-sama. I am told that the fist technique you used to crush the Demonic Evil Three was splendid.”

Ah, the “Pepsi Roll” huh? Timu was too persistent in asking about how I defeated the dokyun, so I ended up demonstrating and explaining it to her. Although it couldn’t be helped in that situation, committing violence isn’t something that you’re supposed to praise, but… I ended up explaining how the fight went in detail. Though I’m saying this about myself, there really should be limits to getting carried away.

But Timu’s eyes were glittering, so…

Huu, is she going to ask about techniques again? These two are chuunibyou as well, so I’m sure my techniques tickled their fancy.

I totally get it. They’re techniques that I created during the peak of my chuunibyou after all. Even if they’re two different worlds, the way that chuunibyou think is all the same.

Can’t be helped. Now that they’re looking at me with those expectant eyes, I can’t disappoint them. The whole point of today’s break was to communicate after all.

“I guess it can’t be helped. Well then, just a little, okay?”

“Thank you very much!”

Both pairs of eyes sparkled at the same time. Now that they’re looking forward to it that much, it’s become embarrassing for me instead. I’m sure these two will writhe about in embarrassment as well, once their chuunibyou heals.

“Eh~ Ahem. First of all, there is something that all chuunibyou will learn without exception; the 『Hamemameha』, 『Baban Stresh』 and 『Itsue no Kiwami(Mastery of Five Layers)』.”

“Mumumu… They sound deeply interesting. What kind of techniques are they?”

“Important techniques that are so important that you could even say were techniques that every chuunibyou learnt without exception.”

“Just hearing that makes them sound to be very mighty techniques.”

“I was a chuunibyou too, so they’re included in my Seven-Hundred and Seventy-Seven Techniques of the Evil God. You could even call them techniques indispensable to a chuunibyou. In particular, pretty much every boy in Japan has experience with the 『Hamemameha』.”

“What kind of technique is the 『Hamemameha』?”

“Hmm~ It’s not magic. You could call it a ki bullet I suppose. You fire ki at the enemy.”

“If it is ki bullets, then many humans in the previous war used such a technique. Only, they weren’t so powerful a technique that they could overcome a demon’s magic barrier.”

“Hu hu, if you used 『Hamemameha』 at max power, you could even destroy the moon, you know.”

“G-, Goodness! I haven’t even heard of even a grand magic capable of destroying a celestial body. And for that to be accomplished by a ki bullet with far less might than magic is…”

“Amazing, right? Did that surprise you?”

“Y-, Yes. I was shocked. A-, And Oneesama…”

“Yes, I practiced it. So much that everybody was shocked(disgusted)…”

I looked back on my past with distant eyes. Right. It was when I was in primary school. I wanted to use ki waves no matter what, so I used all of my pocket money and new years money, and borrowed money from my parents to make up the rest. It was a 12-part qigong correspondence course.

Even though I splendidly completed it…

It was completely useless.

Everyone around me was like, “What kind of stupid crap are you doing!” though. Yeah. I just really wanted to fire a ki wave!

“Then what is 『Baban Stresh』?”

“That’s a sword technique. It’s a technique where you release something like sword ki from your blade.”

“In that case, I have seen humans use something similar as well. And also, Demon General Zanza is a magic swordsman, and he can cut everything down within a few dozen metres radius of himself. Is it something like that?”

Not bad, Timu. More backstory on the Demon King Army, is it? But you know, you still have far to go. When Oneechan was in her past life, her chuunibyou wasn’t half-baked, okay?

“Hu hu, the amazing part about 『Baban Stresh』 is that it isn’t just a normal slash. Not just solids, and liquids, but even gases; in other words, even the atmosphere can be rent to pieces with it.”

“G-, Goodness! If it is just cutting boulders or the sea, examples like that are as common as pebbles, but in all ages and nations, never has there been an example of rending the sky.”

“Amazing, right? After all, it cuts through solids, liquids, and gases all at once.”

“And of course, Oneesama, you…”

“Yes, I practiced it. So much that everybody was shocked(disgusted)…”

Of course I never missed a chance with a broom during school clean-up, but I also did it with an umbrella when it rained. Back when I was really into it, I’d do it for a few hours a day. I might have been the only one who did it so much that my elbow joints were inflamed. No, Japan is wide. I shouldn’t be the only one.

“Then what is the 『Itsue no Kiwami(Mastery of Five Layers)?』

“That’s a fist technique. You destroy the target with a barrage of punches.”

“In that case, it’s similar to Nielsen’s secret technique, Bomber Fire[Super Demonic Flame Burst Fist], isn’t it.”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk. Naive, Timu. The amazing thing about 『Itsue no Kiwami』 is that it can pulverise absolutely anything.”

“Such a thing is possible!? W-, What is the principle behind that?”

“Ummmm~ First you strike the target with your first. And then while the vibrations are passing through it, you immediately strike again. And you repeat that five times.”

“I see. That makes sense, Tilea-sama. In other words, a linked oscillation, correct? As expected of you, Tilea-sama. I would by all means like to try this out myself!”

“Heh! Nielsen. Did Oneesama not warn us only a moment ago? You are being too ‘chuuneebyoh’. Honestly, you get too passionate whenever it comes to battles.”

“I am ashamed. When Tilea-sama spoke of such an exceptionally splendid technique, my blood as a warrior ended up boiling.”

“Well, that’s fine, isn’t it Niel. I know how you feel. When a chuunibyou hears about something like that, they end up wanting to try it no matter what.”

“Huhu, did you say the same thing as Nielsen in your past life?”

“Ugu-, yes. It’s natural that I wanted to try it after learning about it.”

“Truly…”

Saying that, Pervert(Nielsen) started to look like he really wanted to try it. It’d probably be better for him to just let it out. Stress isn’t good. Chuunibyou isn’t something that you can forcefully stop, after all. By all means, let’s have him shout “ITSUE NO KIWAMI!” and start chaining punches. Sometimes acting like a child again is good for――no, no. Pervert(Nielsen) is always a child.

“Niel, if you want to try it, then go ahead.”

“Understood. Well then, please excuse me.”

Pervert(Nielsen) stood up from his chair, and took some solid mass out from his pocket. Is this something like a karateka’s tiles? How prepared. After putting that on the ground,

“HAAH-!”

with a shout, Pervert(Nielsen) drove his fist into it.

GUSHAH, rang the sound of something smashing.

Oi, what happened to shouting the name of the technique?

Even though the real thrill of it is shouting “ITSUE NO KIWAMIIIIIII!” while you do it…

Well, I suppose everybody has their own way of enjoying things. He didn’t shout the name of the technique, but he was probably too concentrated on the punch. As long as he’s getting into it, I guess it doesn’t matter.

“W-, What a spectacular technique! Thanks to you, Tilea-sama, I have made great strides in my secret technique. Please look!”

I looked at what Pervert(Nielsen) held out in his hand.

Mn!? Some kind of metal-ey thing has been crushed to pieces. It’s the mass that Pervert(Nielsen) took out earlier, but…

What on earth is this? Well, it’s something that Pervert(Nielsen) broke with his fists, so I’m sure it isn’t metal. Maybe wood painted metallic or something?

“Not bad, Nielsen. Is this that?”

“Yes. It is orichalchum. My secret technique was born anew when I included the principle that Tilea-sama spoke of.”

“Umu. It splendidly smashed the orichalcum. The force of that strike would likely pass through even my magic barrier.”

“Your praise humbles me.”

Oooooh~ It looks like they’re having fun. I used to play like that too. I’d just grab some rotten wood from somewhere and punch it with “Itsue no Kiwami”, you see. All chuunibyou sufferers do the exact same thing, don’t they. Well, they’re having a fun tea-time, so I’m not so boorish as to spoil their fun.

“Not bad, Niel. To master it with just one try. That’s enough to acknowledge you as a master of this technique. Come on, try hitting me.”

I held out my palm in front of Pervert(Nielsen) like a boxing coach with a mitt. It’s like family time where you spend time with each other, except it’s employee-employer time. I’ll play along with you guys too.

“H-, However, striking you with such a mighty technique, is…”

“Nielsen, that is a needless worry. Do you think that Oneesama is inferior to orichalcum?”

“Right, come on. I’m harder than orichalcum, you know?”

“That is certainly true. Well then, Tilea-sama, please lend me your chest. I will be striking with all my might, so please take care.”

Whoa, hang on! You don’t have to get so serious that you’re going all out you know――wai-, hey, you have no intention of listening to me, huh.

Pervert(Nielsen) was looking at me in a trance. Seems he’s already become the character ‘Nielsen the Warrior’.

Hahh, can’t be helped.

Even if Pervert(Nielsen) goes all out, it won’t amount to much anyway.

Filled with confidence, I held out my palm. And when I did, Pervert(Nielsen) clenched his fist and threw a strike with his entire body weight behind it.

“TOAHHHHH! Bomber Fire![Super Demonic Flame Burst Fist!]”

The sound of metal hitting metal resounded through our surroundings. Pervert(Nielsen)’s hand had struck into my palm with all his power.

“OHHH, THAT HURTS! THAT HURTS DAMMIT OWWWWWWW!

I mercilessly thrust my fist into the back of Pervert(Nielsen)’s head. Blown away, he rolled against the ground.

That really hurt. I felt it in my bones. That’s why you need to read the mood, damnit!

To think that he got carried away and hit me for real.

Owowow. Not bad for Pervert(Nielsen). Did he awaken or something? Honestly, my hand better not be fractured.

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1. Baban Stresh is a parody of Avan’s Strash. In Dragon Quest – Dai’s Great Adventure, Avan teaches Dai the Avan’s Strash. Although Dai is taught the Earth Slash and Wave Slash, he needs to acquire the Air Slash on his own.
2. Itsue no Kiwami is a parody of Futae no Kiwami(Mastery of Two Layers), a technique used in Rurouni Kenshin. I think how it works is, attacking with the fist to deform a target to its limit, and then immediately striking the same point with the wrist to break past the target’s limit.
3. Please tell me you know what the Hamemameha is based on.

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<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

 

First of all, Shura no Kuni, or the Land of the Shura.

It’s a term that was made popular through Hokuto no Ken (Fist of the North Star) and was basically a brutal land of warriors, kind of like Sparta but where everybody learns magical kung fu.
On the internet, there’s this tongue-in-cheek joke where Fukuoka is referred to as ‘Land of the Shura’ because of all the gang wars that have been going on over there over the last few decades.
Oh, and ‘Shura（修羅）‘ is another term for ‘Asura’（or Ashura in Japanese: 阿修羅）.

http://www.thewire.com/global/2012/04/handouts-hand-grenades-yakuza-gang-war-leads-explosive-bounty/50624/
http://www.japantoday.com/category/national/view/boy-finds-hand-grenade-in-fukuoka-rice-field

More on Fukuoka ^

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Chapter 31 – “Shall we have tea?” (Opening)

Because I scolded them, Timu and Pervert(Nielsen) began to work with fervour. It seems like it was worth it, huh? Although Timu’s smile was still a little cramped, she matured enough to deal with customers. But well, she had a cheerful personality before the onset of her chuunibyou, so I think if she got serious it would be really easy for her to deal with customers.

Also, what was surprising was Pervert(Nielsen). Before, you could see traces of arrogance in his attitude with customers, but after I scolded him, his attitude became a lot softer. And what’s more, perhaps he was getting used to it because he was doing his work smoothly as well.

The result of that was…

“Tilea-chan, has Nielsen-san not come yet?”

“I think he’ll be here soon.”

“Aahh, how wonderful! Enough that I’d want to swap my husband for him.”

“Truly, truly. If he lured me with those refreshing eyes of his, I’d divorce my useless husband in an instant.”

Lately, Pervert(Nielsen)’s popularity has been sky-rocketing amongst all the obachans in the neighbourhood. It’s true that just his appearance as a dandy ojisama is good. Instead of the Korean Actor boom amongst the obasans in Japan, a Pervert(Nielsen) boom is sweeping Beruga Town.

“Tilea-chan, Nielsen-san isn’t single after all, right?”

“I’ll bet not. I’m sure he has a wonderful wife!”

“I kind of want to see her.”

Whoa, whoa, ladies, this might betray your expectations, but he’s a virgin.

“Tilea-chan, where is it that Nielsen-san lives?”

“I’m sorry. It is personal information, so I can’t tell you.”

“Personal information? What do you mean? Come on, don’t say something so stiff and just tell us.”

R-, Right…

Even if I say ‘personal information’, the people in this world wouldn’t understand the concept, would they.

Then should I just tell them?――Hang on, thinking about it carefully, I have no idea where Pervert(Nielsen) lives either. During the interview with him he kept speaking nonsense, and I got so angry that we never settled anything.

“The truth is I don’t know either. I’ll ask him next time.”

“”Please do.””

Huu~ Why do I have to act like Pervert(Nielsen)’s manager? I want to tell them to ask him themselves, but they’re guests so I don’t want to offend them.

And what’s more, Pervert(Nielsen)’s age has finally come. It’s fine if I help him out a little, right? You never know where you’ll find the one, after all. Even Pervert(Nielsen) might be cured of his chuunibyou if he settles down and starts a family.

While I was pondering this, the door to the shop opened.

It was the lady-killer in question.

“Morning, Niel. You’re early today too, huh.”

“You appear splendid on this day as well, Tilea-sama.

“Kyaa, Nielsen-san is wonderful as well, today!”

“What a refined voice!”

With Pervert(Nielsen)’s arrival, the obachans grew excited, standing up at once and surrounding him. A whole flock of women coming to receive him.

“You ladies are beautiful as always. Please continue to patronise Restaurant 『Berum』 as you see fit.”

“Goodness, to call me beautiful♪”

“Hearing Nielsen-san say that makes everything seem like it’ll be okay.”

Hahh~ All these shrill voices. I’m happy that we have more customers, but I’m worried this will inconvenience the other customers.

And also I don’t know what’s going to happen if these obachans find out that Pervert(Nielsen) is actually a chuuni NEET…

“Huu, ignorance is terrifying.”

While watching Pervert(Nielsen) and the obachans, I accidentally mumbled what was on my mind.

“Truly.”

Perhaps she heard what I said, because Timu agreed with me.

Ooh, so you think so too, Timu!

Of course. Since Timu’s close with Pervert(Nielsen), of course she knows what he really is.

“If these obachans knew his real self, they’d be shocked speechless, huh.”

“It is exactly as you say, Oneesama. Deceived with just Nielsen’s acting and appearance, with no idea of what he truly is. Truly a group of fools.”

Timu, your tongue is pretty sharp, huh. But just like Timu says, I’m not sure how to feel about these women being infatuated with Pervert(Nielsen) when they already have husbands.

This situation is just like those obachans in my past life that were hooked on Korean stars.

But well, there’s no magazines or television in this world, so I guess it can’t be helped that they got excited when a dandy older gentleman appeared out of nowhere. Basically it’s like when housewives go kyaa kyaa over celebrities.

“There isn’t much entertainment in this town, so Niel is one of their only stimulations, huh.”

“Oneesama. Both Nielsen and I are ready to sortie at any time. The moment you give us the green-light, we shall immediately dispose of our masks of falsehood and bestow upon these insolent fools a most severe stimulation.”

“I-, I see. I know you’re unhappy about these obachans, but try to hold back in front of them, okay?”

“Of course. I shall not carelessly reveal my true identity.”

Timu seemed to hum “Hm hm!” as she answered proudly.

…Full throttle chuunibyou as usual, huh. That’s fine, but should I start thinking about a way to deal with this?

But well, chuunibyou isn’t something you can solve quickly, so I’ll have a slow think about it. The issue right now is Pervert’s popularity.

Ooh, that Pervert(Nielsen) is even getting flowers. Even calling him a celebrity wouldn’t be exaggeration now.

And like that, from early in the morning, droves of Pervert(Nielsen)’s fans came by wave after wave. Pervert(Nielsen) politely handled each and every one of them, paying attention to the reputation of our shop. It looks like it’s finally sinking into him that he’s a member of our staff.

Alright. I should praise him as his superior. If I acknowledge his work during break-time, I’m sure his motivation will go up.

And so, once the morning peak hour passed, the customers stopped coming. It’s about time to take a break.

“Timu, Niel, want to take a break now?”

“”Understood.””

I call them over to have a breather. And when I did, Pervert(Nielsen) guided Timu and I over to a table before nimbly preparing tea and snacks.

Ooh, not bad!

“Niel, you’re pretty good.”

“Your praise humbles me.”

Mn, mn. Not bad for a former NEET. Looks like my training was worth it.

“Nielsen is not only my guard, but my butler as well. Odd-jobs like this are his specialty.”

“I seee~ That’s amazing.”

It’s true that his appearance is pretty butler-ey. Timu, I think you have a good eye for this. Only, it’s a little fujoshi-ish. If you add ‘fujoshi’ on top of ‘chuunibyou’, Oneechan is going to have a hard time healing you.
And Timu is being a chuuni as always. What am I supposed to do?

Speaking of which, now that I think about it I just realised that I haven’t actually asked in detail about what kind of delusions these two are up to. I might find out some hint on how to heal them. Let’s try asking.

“Timu, you said that you were one of the Six Demon Generals of the Demon King Army, right?”

“Yes. I am a former member of the Six Demon Generals, and currently a general of the Evil God Army.”

GUHOH-! I-, I just remembered…

Right now Timu’s position is a traitor who left the Demon King Army to join the Evil God Army. By the way, the Evil God was me, right?

Damned Timu. Apparently she really took a liking to the phrase “Evil God”. In my old life, I liked it too, after all. I really know how she feels. I knew it. Timu’s chuunibyou really is quite deep. This probably isn’t something I can solve just by listening to her.

…Okay. Now’s a good chance. While I’m listening to her delusions, I’ll also speak frankly today. We’ll have proper communication as sisters, and I’ll try looking for a plan to fix this. First we need to begin talking, or nothing will get anywhere.

“Timu, is there anything you want to ask Oneechan? I’ll tell you anything today.”

“Let me see. There is something that I would like to ask of you, Oneesama.”

“Yep, yep. Try it.”

“I would like to hear about your exploits as Dark Matter-sama.”

GAHUH-! T-, Timu, what are you asking all of a sudden…

But I said that I would tell her anything. It won’t do to lose her confidence. No matter what kind of dark history it may be…

“Timu, I told you a little about my past life before, right?”

“Yes. I received quite a shock when I heard about it. Please allow me to hear in more detail.”

“Detail huhh~ Where on earth should I begin.”

“Well then, the country that you lived in, ‘Japan’; what kind of place was it?”

“Let’s see~ It was a much harsher place to live in than where we are now.”

After all, Beruga Town is peaceful, everybody is kind to me, and I even have a warm family. Although Japan was modern, there was all this pressure from entrance exams and finding employment looming over me, so it was a pretty hard place to live in.

“So as expected, it truly was a world embroiled in battle and chaos…”

Battle…?

Well, there is that saying that ‘life is a battle’, I guess. In particular, life as an unemployed virgin was basically hard mode.

“Mhm. And I was born in a place called ‘Land of the Shura’ that was particularly harsh.”

“Goodness! I sense from the name that it must have been incomparable to even the Demon Realm that I was born in.”

“Yeah~ It was even scarier than the demon realm. There were dokyun popping up everywhere, after all.”

“‘Dokyun’ you say! As I recall, that refers to beings that possess the same quality and strength as the Demonic Evil Three?”

“Yeah, basically the same type as those three. Like I told you earlier, they were just absolutely everywhere, so nobody knew what to do about it. What’s more, some of them even had these terrifying explosive weapons called hand grenades.”

“Tilea-sama, from what I hear, can I take it to mean that ‘hangreh nayd’ is something similar to the Explosion spell?”

“Nielsen, Oneesama said that it was terrifying. How could it possibly be similar to a mere Explosion spell.”

“Yes. It is true that although Explosion can harm a dragon, it could hardly pose any threat to a being of Tilea-sama’s level.”

“Umu. I infer that a ‘hangreh nayd’ must be a forbidden magical weapon of a level that could damage her. Oneesama, is that correct?”

“Haha. Far from damage, if I got caught up in the explosion I’d die in an instant, you know.”

“WHA-!? A weapon that could consign a being as great as Oneesama in a single blow!? Truly unbelievable!”

“Mn. Actually when I saw the warning leaflets about watching out for hand grenades, I couldn’t believe it either. ‘Seriously!? Eh-!? Is this some joke!?’ I thought, but… it was the truth. What’s more, sometimes they just dropped them on the side of the road, too.”

Their expressions were filled with shock.

Mn, I know exactly how you feel. When I first heard about it, I was terrified for a while too. I was needlessly worried about a dokyun suddenly pulling one out and throwing it as a joke, after all.

I ended up reincarnating, but I wonder how the Land of the Shura is doing right now. Are the people doing well? I wonder if everybody needs to wear bulletproof vests when heading outside now…

“Then, Oneesama, how did you deal with ‘hangreh nayds’?”

“For better or for worse I died before ever seeing one.”

“I see. How terrifying. So Oneesama fought her whole life in a nation filled with such weapons. I think I am beginning to understand why you are as strong as you are, Oneesama.”

“Huhu, that’s right. I had a really hard time, you know. Is there anything else you would like to hear?”

“Yes. As I recall, you were a ‘niit’, correct?”

GEFUH-! T-, Timu, that was quite a jab. I almost lost consciousness.

So you remembered. Even though it would’ve been fine to just forget that word…

“Y-, Yes. I was a NEET…”

“Did your other ‘niit’ compatriots also possess power like yours, Oneesama?”

“Power? ――Well, it’s true that we were a like-bunch. There were lots of chuunibyou around me, you see.”

“Oneesama, what does ‘chuuneebyoh’ mean?”

“Speaking simply, Timu, they’re people who think and behave like you and Niel.”

“Hahh… Something that Nielsen and I have in common… In other words, ‘chuuneebyoh’ are those who strive for martial prowess, correct?”

“Mm~mm, weelll, if you want to make it sound cool, then I guess so. But chuunibyou isn’t a word of praise, you know.”

“When one pushes too far into the martial realm, they may lose sight of everything else and trip over themselves. This is particularly obvious in Nielsen and I when we become too heated up. Can I take that to be the meaning of your words, Oneesama?”

“Hm, something like that. Right. When you’re too much of a chuunibyou, you lose sight of everything else. In my past life, I was that kind of person. I was too much of a chuunibyou and always ran rampant, after all.”

“Goodness. To think that the ever calm and collected Oneesama had such a past…”

“Huhu, I’m sure it’s unbelievable to you, but it’s the truth. But you know, it’s because I had such failures in my old life that I’m trying my best to reflect on it now.”

“As expected of Oneesama. The reason that you never fail to be cautious, despite your mighty power, is because you had such experiences, isn’t it.”

“That’s right. It’s really rough when you’re too much of a chuunibyou.”

“Were you a ‘chuuneebyoh’ for a long time, Oneesama?”

“Uu-, t-, that’s right. So you know, Timu? I want you to hurry up and fix that part of yourself.”

“I see. But most of your techniques were created during your period as a ‘chuuneebyoh’, right, Oneesama?”

“Yes. I told you before as well, but almost everybody joins a company, you see. Unless you were a NEET, you wouldn’t have the free time to come up with techniques.”

“Then although I may be called a fool, I wish to live in the same way that you did, Oneesama. I also wish to be a ‘niit’ that masters the martial realm.”

Wh-, What did she say? Timu, please don’t suddenly announce to your family that you want to be a NEET!

Aaah, oh my god!

Even though I explained how stupid it was to be a NEET, it’s like Timu looks up to them now.

“Timu, I’ve told you many times already, but ‘NEET’ isn’t a word of praise. It was normal in my last life to work for a company.”

“I see. If I recall correctly, in ‘Japan’ it was normal to subordinate oneself to a ‘companee’.”

“Right, right, so you remember.”

“Oneesama. Though you may call me a fool, is it not fine to be a ‘chuuneebyoh’? I will not deny the person you once were, Oneesama. Although it seems that you regret it, I am very proud of you. Any normal person would submit themselves to the ‘companee’, correct? I respect you from the bottom of my heart for not even once becoming a slave to a ‘Companee’, Oneesama!”

“I feel the same way, Tilea-sama. The many splendid divine skills you have demonstrated are the fruits of your life as a ‘NEET’.”

GUHAAAH――! A BRUTAL HITTTT!

Y-, You guys, you’re actually real demons, aren’t you?

You keep hitting my vitals with such accuracy.

Right now Oneechan’s Life Points are being taken away.

“Y-, Yes, that’s right. I was a NEET who never once went to work.”

“Nielsen, we shall learn from Oneesama’s example. Never bending to society, we will single-mindedly walk down our own paths. In particular, doing such a thing in the Land of Shura was no ordinary feat.”

“I will model myself exactly on Tilea-sama’s ‘chuuneebyoh’.”

Hah, hah, hah, I thought this would be a break, but instead I took some heavy damage. Please just cut me a break already.”

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GUHAAAH――! A BRUTAL HITTTT!”
A brutal hit(痛恨の一撃; terrible hit) is a recurring element in Dragon Quest. It’s basically critical hit, but when monsters hit your party.

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<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

 

Chapter 30 – “Family discussions are important, aren’t they.” (Finale)

I let Mum and Dad know that I talked to Timu. Dad said “Well done!” and praised me, but Mum said “How could you do something so dangerous!” and scolded me instead.

Hahh~ Mum is still scared because of that misunderstanding. I need to solve this, and fast. Only, I’m giving Timu and Pervert(Nielsen) some time to think about it. I only just told them off, so they’re probably still high-strung. Once they calm down, I hope they reflect on what they’ve done.

It’d be great if my feelings were conveyed to them, but…

Anyway, the next morning, I tried calling out to Timu. For the sake of not dragging out yesterday’s incident as well, I tried my best to give her a heartfelt smile.

“Morning, Timu. Did you sleep well last night?”

“Good morning, Oneesama. Last night…”

“How was it?”

“I will not lie to you, Oneesama. Honestly, I did not sleep at all. However, having spent a day thinking, I have finally understood the reason why I was scolded.”

“I see. It isn’t good to stay up all night, but Oneechan is happy that you seriously thought about it.”

“Oneesama!”

“When Niel comes, I’ll have you two tell me your answers.”

“Yes.”

Timu gave a smile filled with confidence. Looks like I can be expecting results. This time for sure, Timu is going to reflect for me. Yesterday I didn’t use any corporal punishment, and she still understood my feelings. There’s nothing happier than this. Honestly speaking, the last time traumatised me as well. Although this is for Timu’s training, I still never want to raise my hand to her again.

A few hours later, Pervert(Nielsen) came as well. I made sure to give him a smile too. It wouldn’t do if we let yesterday’s scolding drag on. Only, if it seems he hasn’t reflected, the plan is to immediately change to my hannya face.

“Now then, since Niel is here as well, can I hear your answers?”

“”Understood!””

The two of them gave energetic replies, and Pervert(Nielsen) was particularly enthusiastic. Maybe I can look forward to his answer as well. First, Timu began to speak with a meek expression.

“I was a fool. Believing that my training was over, I thought to leave. And it is the truth that I have succeeded in bringing my mana down to the level of an average human. I believe that I no longer needed training, and that there was no longer a reason to stay here.”

“Right, I heard from Mum. To think you talked about leaving here… And what’s more, your training has only just begun too.”

“Yes. I was arrogant for believing that I was ready after merely controlling my mana a little. Thinking about it carefully, I am merely a student that you have yet to personally instruct, Oneesama. There is no greater shame.”

Exactly! I haven’t even taught Timu the basics of cooking yet. I’ll be troubled if she gets ahead of herself just because she’s been helping out a little. There’s still mountains of stuff to teach you, okay?

And the “mana control” she’s been talking about all this time is “arm strength control”, right?

When you’re cutting ingredients or scrubbing the pan, there’s a trick to how much power you use. That’s probably what she’s talking about. Timu, you can use as much chuuni words as you want. Oneechan completely understands you, so don’t worry.

“Mn, it looks like you get it. First, you’re still in training. It’s going to be a problem if you misunderstand and stop helping around the shop. Also, you still haven’t said the most important thing yet, you know.”

“I know. The problem is my attitude towards that human-, no, towards Esteemed Mother, correct?”

“Right. So you get it after all. What do you think about what you’ve done?”

“If I take that attitude towards Esteemed Mother, it is clear that the people around us will discover that I am a demon. While the war potential of the human forces are still unknown, I must absolutely hide myself here. Please forgive my carelessness!”

After saying that, Timu apologised with a deep bow.

Um~mm…

Going by her attitude, she’s reflecting. But her words don’t match.

Am I just thinking too much? And why did I suddenly come into the picture?

And also her apology was too filled with chuuni words like “demons” and “war potential”.

“Timu, is that the answer you came to after thinking about my words yesterday?”

“Y-, Yes. Of course, just as you said, Oneesama, I must be careful not only around Esteemed Mother, but around everybody else. I will never again commit a blunder that would hinder your road to domination.”

Eh-? Eh-? What’s going on?

Even if I’m translating it from chuuni, I still have no idea what’s going on, you know. For now let’s put Timu’s response on hold and try asking for Niel’s opinion.

“N-, Niel, is your answer the same as Timu’s?”

“Yes. I feel the same as Camilla-sama. Only, there is a slight difference. Although she is human, Sera-sama is still the temporary mother of Tilea-sama and Camilla-sama. And I took an insolent attitude to such a personage. A truly loyal servant would show respect to even the shoes worn by their master; although she is only your temporary mother, as the parent of my master, the attitude I took was much too unbefitting of a servant. My deepest apologies.”

After finishing what he wanted to say, Pervert(Nielsen) got down into a dogeza. A perfect dogeza with his forehead on the ground. As an apology, this attitude is a pass.

Only, his answer feels a little off as well…

But I can translate his chuunibyou. In other words, Pervert(Nielsen) owes me a debt as somebody who hired him, and that means he has a debt to my parents as well. As usual he’s being overly dramatic and a complete chuunibyou with his words, but he is reflecting on his arrogance, so shall I just accept it? He’s even going as far as a dogeza, so I’ll forgive him.

“Niel, it seems that you’ve reflected. Never do something so stupid again!”

“Yes, Milady. I shall engrave it into my heart.”

“Also, Timu, u-, umm…”

“Y-, Yes. Was my answer mistaken?”

Oh no, Timu is making that face like the world is ending again. My chest is tightening. I don’t want to make her sad like this.
Okay, let’s calmly analyse her answer. Timu is still a chuunibyou, so expecting a perfect answer from her is too much. At the very least, she said that she would change her attitude towards Mum, so shouldn’t I take this as a pass…?

“N-, No, you’re not wrong. Well then, do you know what you need to do next?”

“Yes. I shall apologise to Esteemed Mother.”

Ah, geez. So she does understand!

When I heard Timu’s answer I was feeling a little worried, but if she understands then it’s all good.

“Good girl. Make sure to apologise properly.”

“Yes, Oneesama.”

Like that, we finished our conversation, and we began heading to the bedroom my parents were waiting in.

Mn, it’s fine now. Filled with confidence, I led the pair to the room.

“Tilea, have you finished talking?”

“Yes, Timu and Niel have something they’d like to say to Mum.”

“Ooh, I see! Come on, Sera. Stop hiding behind me, and show your face.”

When Dad urged Mum forward, I could just see her face. She was hiding behind his back, fearfully. Mum, if you let Timu see you like that, you’ll make her sad, you know.

“Hii-! T-, Timu.”

It seems that Mum was still frightened to see Timu. Just as I was relieved to see her face come out from behind Dad’s back, she immediately pulled back behind him. This won’t do. I signalled the two of them with my eyes to prompt their apologies. The two of them nodded and walked towards Mum.

“Esteemed Mother, my deepest apologies for the impolite attitude I have taken.”

“Sera-sama, my behaviour was unbecoming of a retainer. Please forgive my disrespect.”

Their chuuni-esque wording was noticeable, but at least they apologised. Their expressions were both serious after all, and they didn’t look like they were messing around. Will Mum accept it?

“I understand, Nielsen-san. Please raise your head. Let us continue to get along. A-, Also, T-, Timu too…”

Apparently Mum accepted Pervert(Nielsen)’s apology. But she was still stiff when it came to Timu.

Hm~mm, why?

Mn!? I see!

Looking carefully, Timu’s being expressionless. If she’s like this, then of course Mum would be uneasy. Timu always used to smile all the time, so just her expressionlessness is enough to mistake her for a demon.

“Timuuuu, your expression is still stiff, you know~ Come on, you’re scaring Mum! Come on, come on, smile, smile.”

“S-, Smile, is it? U-, Umm, like this?”

Timu tried to smile, but it was a bit stiff. The corners of her mouth are raised unnaturally, so she needs to be a bit more relaxed.

“Timu, more naturally. Relax.”

“Y-, Yes. Naturally… L-, Like this?”

It’s no good. Perhaps telling her to relax made her even more nervous, because Timu’s face was just as stiff as before. As I thought, it’s hard to tell unless you can see your own face.

“Aah~ Geez, we aren’t getting anywhere. Like this. This!”

I grabbed Timu’s soft cheeks, and pulled them into a smile. Mn. You have to smile at least this much.

“Hoh-, Hohhneehyama, it hurff.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine. Now try apologising to Mum one more time.”

“Yeff. Eheemed Mahaa, mai deeheest apowlohees foah mai rhooneff.”

“Tilea, if you pull her cheeks that much, she won’t be able to say a thing.”

“Ehh? But Dad, Timu’s expression is too stiff.”

“But if you can’t even tell what she’s saying, there’s no point, right!”

“Well, yeah, but…”

Can’t be helped. I stopped pulling on her cheeks. When I did, Timu’s raised mouth fall back into her original expressionless face.

“O-, Oneesama. No matter what, that was too difficult to speak.”

“Then smile a little more!”

“L-, Like this?”

“Ahh~ No good, no good. Put more of your emotion into it! You’re too expressionless.”

Timu smiled broadly, but it was still stiff. Even though she isn’t expressionless when she’s in front of me, ever since she began a chuunibyou, it’s been happening a lot more in general. Do the chuunibyou of this world also look up to silent kuudere characters?

“I-, It’s difficult, isn’t it.”

“Timu, you’re failing because you’re thinking of it that way. I’ve said it so many times already, but it’s important to do it naturally!”

“Y-, Yes. Then how about this?”

“Hmm, a little better I think. Try once more time!”

Like that, I continued to give advice for a while, while Timu continued to ask questions, and our back and forth continued noisily for a while, when…

“PFFT-, HAHAHA! You two really do get along. Right, you’re right. There’s no way a girl who loves her big sister so much could be a demon.”

Whoa! Isn’t Mum laughing! Mum, it looks like the misunderstanding is finally cleared. I’m glad!

After that, Mum stopped hiding behind Dad’s back, and walked in front of the two of them.

“Timu, forgive me. Mum was a little funny in the head.”

“No, I am the one who was in the wrong. I am relieved that you forgive me, Esteemed Mother.”

“Right. Then Tilea, help out in the shop please.”

“Ye~es. Timu, you can rest, okay? You didn’t sleep last night, right?”

“Oneesama, thank you for your consideration. I am fine.”

Saying that, Timu happy smile. Timu, even though you can make such a great smile, it’s a waste if you’re so expressionless, you know?

■　◇　■　◇

After a short break, I stared at the back of my beloved and respected Oneesama. Perhaps busier due to the influx of guests, Oneesama moved about in a hurry.

“Nielsen, was my acting acceptable?”

“There was no problem. You are flawless in all endeavours, Camilla-sama.”

“I see. From now on, we will need to continue acting even around those surrounding humans.”

“It will be bitter.”

“The humiliation of somebody like me cannot even hope to reach Oneesama’s. Behold! A personage who has risen to even the level of Evil God is enduring even when the likes of humans are being overfamiliar with her.”

One of the regular customers was speaking to Oneesama in an over-familiar manner. A mere human. Unforgivable! If possible, I should like to tear them apart with my own two hands.

“Indeed. With the likes of a human taking that kind of attitude, Tilea-sama’s insides must be burning and writhing with rage.”

“Umu. However, for the sake of her path to domination, Oneesama is enduring the unendurable. We cannot allow the likes of our puny pride to interfere with Oneesama’s strategy!”

“Understood. As expected of you, Camilla-sama.”

Well then, shall I help out with the shop as well? Oop, I very nearly forgot my smile. It is humiliation to behave modestly around the likes of humans, but when I think that it is for Oneesama’s sake, it becomes a simple task. Although my expression was stiff, I headed to the table to take their orders. Nielsen came along beside me.

“But still, Nielsen, is my face that expressionless?”

“Yes. Even your lack of expression is flawless.”

“…I-, I see.”

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<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

 

I’ve mentioned before that Timu doesn’t use a normal 1st person pronoun. She instead uses ‘ware’, which is basically only used in modern day for rather heavy, formal speeches. As for in fiction, you might get particularly old and distinguished generals using it, and sometimes kings (if they aren’t using ‘watashi’ or ‘yo’). Hard to describe the feel. Sometimes slightly older court wizards. Just, distinguished people, I guess. And non-young if they’re not using it for speeches or special occasions.

---

Chapter 29 – “Family discussions are important, aren’t they.” (Middle)

“Oneesama, I have returned.”

I heard the sound of the door opening, along with Timu’s voice. It seems that she’s back. Normally I’d receive her with a smile, but things are different today.

“Mum, Dad, leave Timu to me. I’ll definitely make her reflect.”

“Tilea, stop. How many times do I have to say it before you understand? That girl isn’t Timu. You’ll be killed!”

“Cut it out already, Sera! It’s true that Timu is suddenly speaking in a strange way, but from what I can see, the two of them are getting along just fine.”

“Dad’s right, Mum. There’s no way anything like that will happen between Timu and I.”

“And Tilea. I think you’re the bigger problem for making Timu call you “Oneesama”. You’re not picking on your sister, right?”

“No, no, I’m not making her, you know. Timu said she wanted to call me that no matter what, so.”

“Really? But you don’t look so unhappy about it, you know.”

Uu. Daddy, you’re pretty sharp!

That’s right. I’m not making her call me that, but I’m not stopping her either.

I-, Isn’t it fine? I just wanted to taste the world of “Marimiteh” a little.

“First I’ll make sure to give Timu a good scolding as her older sister. Dad, wait here with Mum a little, okay?”

“Ah-!? Tilea, wait!”

“Sera, we’re waiting here.”

“Dear, let go of me. I have to stop her… Are you okay with Tilea being killed!”

“Won’t you cut that out already!”

“Aahh. Why won’t you understand!”

“Tilea, Sera’s tired and isn’t seeing reality. Make sure to have a good talk with Timu.”

“Mn, I’ll leave Mum to you, okay?”

“Yeah, leave it to me.”

“IT’S YOU TWO THAT AREN’T SEEING REALITYYYYYYY!”

Mum kept shrieking things like “Timu is a demon” or “Tilea’s going to be killed”. Looks like I need to hurry up and reconcile them. I headed to Timu’s room in order to bring back their feelings for each other.

“Timu!”

“Ah, Oneesama. The truth is I’m in the middle of reorganising the Household Guard, and we would be delighted if you could come for an inspection, Onee-sama.”

“If the Household Guard are able to gaze upon your countenance, I am sure the morale will increase spectacularly.”

The reorganisation of the Household Guard…

So you guys have been playing Demon King Army again, huh. By this inspection thing, are they inviting me to play with them this time? Normally I’d be fine with that, but…

“I’m not going. Timu, for now you’re forbidden to go outside.”

“W-, What do you mean, Oneesama?”

“Timu, sit down over there.”

“U-, Understood.”

Timu sat down with a meek expression, and I moved to face her. We were now sitting on other side of the table. I glared at her.

“Oneesama…?”

Timu seemed to have sensed my bad mood. She looked at me anxiously. Uu, if you look at me with such a sad face, it’ll be hard for me to lecture you too, you know.
But I have to. If I spoil her again, it’ll just be a repeat of last time.

“Timu, do you have anything to say to me?”

“Let me see. Because of your training methods, I have powered up spectacularly. Although I am incompetent, please allow me the privilege of assisting in your domination.”

“No, that’s not what I mean… Timu, do you remember when I spanked you last time?”

“Yes. It brings me utmost shame. I am painfully aware of my foolishness and weakness at that time.”

“You’ve reflected, right? You swore to me that you wouldn’t do something like that again, right?”

“Yes, I will not commit the same blunder again.”

Timu…

So you’re going to play dumb to the end, huh. Even if you aren’t violent to me anymore, if you’re violent to Mum, it’s the same thing, you know. Or could it be that you were just thinking it’d be fine as long as I didn’t find out!

Timu, to think that you’ve become such a coward… Oneechan is sad.

Aah~ This is like that “my child is different” pattern, isn’t it. A parent trusts their child too much, and doesn’t even realise when their child turns into a delinquent. It’s a dangerous sign.

“Then, do you remember what you said to Mum over these last few days?”

“That human? As I recall, I warned her to know her place but… Hah-!? Could it be that she was rude to you in some way? And that’s why you’re angry, isn’t it, Oneesama? Honestly, she was my parent, even if temporary, so I went easy on her. I shall immediately dispose――”

“You don’t understand at all! I’m angry because of YOU!”

“Hii-, my deepest apologies. W-, Was I dis, respecful to you, in some way…? What did I…? I――”

“NOT “I”!!!”

“Hi-, hii-, I-, a-, aah-”

Timu was apparently confused because she was completely flustered. Her eyes were filled with tears, and her mouth kept opening and shutting wordlessly.

“Do you really not know?”

“Hii-, u-, umm, was it that I did not immediately… dispose, of her?”

“TIMUUUU! Don’t disappointment me so much.”

“Hii-, hic-, eh-, u-, umm, ah-…”

Timu finally began to cry and shake. Seeing my little sister tremble like this suddenly made me feel crazily guilty.

“Tilea-sama, although I am aware this is rude of me, I have something to say!”

Pervert(Nielsen) took a step forward in front of me.

“…What?”

“Milady. Although I do not know what is wrong, please tell Camilla-sama the problem concretely, or she will be confused.”

“It is fine, Nielsen. I am in the wrong for failing to live up to Oneesama’s expectations.”

“H-. However, this is too much. From what I can see, you have served Tilea-sama without a single mistake.”

“Outsiders should stay out of it. This is a family matter!”

“U-, Understood. Please forgive me for speaking out of place. However, as a loyal servant, please allow me to say this; please find it in yourself to believe Camilla-sama.”

Pervert(Nielsen) desperately covered for Timu. He looked liked a selfless knight. But beneath that, he’s actually somebody who trampled on my kind Mum’s heart. Seeing him act like a loyal servant now just pisses me off more. I feel bad for Timu, but you aren’t getting any mercy.

“You know, why are you speaking like this isn’t your concern? You’re guilty of the same thing!”

“D-, Did I blunder in some way?”

“IT ISN’T AT THE LEVEL OF ‘BLUNDER’! You completely betrayed my expectations. SLEEP ON THE FLOOR FOR A WHILEEEEE!”

I stood up from my chair and kicked Pervert(Nielsen) flying. Pervert(Nielsen) vigorously tumbled across the floor. And then, with Pervert(Nielsen) still lying down, I began to grind his head into the floor with my foot.

“GUOOOOOOH! T-, Tilea-sama. W-, Why is it that you are so angry?”

“Hahh? How about you use your fucking head. Is that head of yours just for decoration, you pervert bastard!”

“Ah-, ah-, Oneesama. Please stop this. Nielsen is dying.”

“Timu, I’m trying to kill him, so of course he is.”

“O-, Oneesama. Nielsen is a talent indispensable for your path of domination. Please find it in yourself to forgive him. I shall bear his sin instead.”

As usual, the trust between them is no joke. I really just want to keep crushing him like this until he dies, but I can’t let Timu feel sad either.

Pervert(Nielsen), looks like you’ve barely escaped death. If it wasn’t for Timu’s words, I’d have seriously, done it, yanno. I slowly removed my foot from his head.

“Hahh, hahh, hahh. T-, Tilea-sama, if you desire my life, please take it by all means. However, could you at least dispel your anger towards Camilla-sama? I humbly implore you.”

Pervert(Nielsen) rubbed his forehead against the floor as he entreated me. He entreated me for Timu’s sake while enduring the pain from when I kicked him flying. When I see him acting this meek, it makes me want to tell him to act that way around Mum as well.

“Nielsen, stop that. Look at Oneesama’s countenance. She truly looks disappointed that I betrayed her expectations. I disappointed Oneesama. After committing such a failure, how would you have me live. I shall end myself right here!”

“C-, Camilla-sama, I beg of you to reconsider…”

“Enough. I have decided to sacrifice myself to Oneesama.”

“Camilla-sama…”

“Oneesama, for your sake I would happily offer you my life. I am truly joyful that you have given me such undeserved affection thus far.”

“…Understood. I shall not allow you to depart this world by yourself, Camilla-sama. Having come to this, all members of the Household Guard shall follow you into the afterlife.”

“W-, What are you saying! I shall now allow that. If all the Household Guard dies, who shall support Oneesama in her domination.”

“H-, However…”

“It is fine. I shall watch over Oneesama’s exploits from Valhalla.”

And like that, a chain of “You can’t”s, “I must”s and “However”s continued to repeat between them.

…What the heck is this farce?

I’m actually angry, you know.

But despite that, the two of them are playing Master-Servant even at a time like this. Being forced to watch this stupid drama has made me want to scold them even more, but perhaps I was being overwhelmed by how serious their performances were because I couldn’t find a chance to butt in.

Or rather, you’re not actually going to die, right?

…Once somebody is too chuunibyou, you can’t even laugh at this. She might really go with the flow and die after all.

“Aah~ Sorry to interrupt while you guys are getting so into it, but…”

“Oneesama, I have persuaded Nielsen. I believe he will continue to serve you faithfully, Oneesama. With this, I can die at ease.”

“DAHHHHHHHH! Seriously just stop that already. When exactly did I say I wanted your life! Even as a joke you shouldn’t say something like that, so cut it out now!”

“I-, It was not a joke and――”

“Timu, from now on you aren’t to speak about dying again. I won’t allow anybody to kill my cute sister no matter what. Even if it’s you, Timu.”

“O-, Oneesama. Uuu, to think that you care about me so… I-, I truly did not know what I did wrong. Uu-, uu-, please forgive this deplorable me.”

Hahh~ Come on, make that face like the world is ending. Seeing Timu break into tears made my chest tighten in sadness.

I can’t do it anymore!

There’s no way I can spank her when she’s making a face like this. I’m saying this myself, but I know I’m spoiling her.

“Come on, don’t cry anymore.”

I began wiping her sobbing face with a handkerchief, taking care to be gentle enough that her eyes wouldn’t swell.

“Uu, Oneesama.”

“Timu, stop treating Mum with that kind of stupid attitude. No, not just Mum, but all the people around you too.”

“W-, What do you mean by that?”

“Huu~ Do I have to explain every little thing for you to get it?”

“N-, No. I understand. It is fine. Oneesama, I shall show you that I understand. So please, please don’t abandon me.”

“Timu, there’s no way that I’d abandon you, right? I’m not angry anymore. Anyway, make sure you think deeply about what I said today, and tell me your response later, okay?”

“Y-, Yes. I shall not disappoint you again, Oneesama.”

“I see. I’ll be expecting the best from you.”

Embracing her, I gently stroked her head. The stiff expression disappeared from Timu’s face and she looked relieved.

“Sorry. I scared you, didn’t I.”

“O-, Oneesama, hic-, I’ll do it. I’ll definitely live up to your expectations.”

Good, good. I wrapped my arms around her even more tightly. So that Timu would calm down, I gently continued to hug her.

After that, I looked at the grovelling Pervert(Nielsen) like he was a dung beetle. If I had my way, I’d have immediately executed him.

“And that goes for the one on the floor as well. Think carefully about the meaning behind my words!”

“Understood. I shall also exert myself to meet your expectations, Tilea-sama.”

I certainly hope you do. Because I won’t be gentle to you like I am to Timu. The next time you do something this stupid again…

Huu~ After having raised him this much, I don’t want to see my employee die either.

---

“I-, Isn’t it fine? I just wanted to taste the world of “Marimiteh” a little.”
A reference to Marimite or Maria-sama ga Miteiru, which is uhm, as far as I know, a yuri series based in a rich girls’ school, which facilitates girls calling each other Oneesama.

“After that, I looked at the grovelling Pervert(Nielsen) like he was a dung beetle.”
Strictly speaking, it’s a type of Japanese ground beetle, but in Japanese it’s literally ‘garbage bug’, so I just went with dung beetle. 

---

It should really be Sarah, but in this world filled with so many weird made-up names, it felt a little odd to have such a super average name in there. And well, Sera is basically the same name anyway, so no worries I guess.

---

<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

 

Chapter 28 – “Family discussions are important, aren’t they.” (Opening)

Hmm, hmm♪ Noow then, shall I give it my all as well, today!

Entering the kitchen, I began the cooking preparation. Because of various disturbances recently, I haven’t been able to concentrate on cooking. It’s about time that I really get into it, hey?

Today I’m planning on making harusame soup. It was a dish that was everywhere in my old life, but it took a lot of effort to reproduce it in this world. For the soup I’m using sesame and shiitake, as well as chopped egg and chopped spring onions. For the noodles, I’m going to boil ijizukisoh, which is similar to the texture of harusame.

I immediately jumped straight into the recipe. The movements were already set in my mind. All I need to do later is check the temperature, humidity, whether or not the ingredients are still okay, and flavour it based on that.

And then fifteen minutes after I began cooking…

It’s finished. Yup. The vapour from the sesame and shiitake really whets your appetite. Seems good. After this, Dad just needs to prepare for the main dishes and today’s preparations are done, but Dad still hadn’t come to the kitchen yet.

That’s weird. Even though Dad’s always silently working here before more…

I stopped the fire on the soup, and headed to my parents’ room to call Dad. Their room is just at the end of the hallway, when you leave the kitchen. Our house isn’t particularly big, so I immediately arrived. When I opened the door, I called out to Dad.

“Dad? If we don’t hurry up and prepare…”

“Tilea, huh. Give me a moment.”

Mn? It’s not only Dad here, but Mum too. Mum was sitting on a chair with her head hanging.

What’s wrong?

Mum always has a cheerful and kind smile on, but right now she looks so sad. Mum’s hands and legs were trembling, and she was pale.

“Mum, did something happen?”

“…It’s nothing.”

Although Mum said that, something definitely happened. The tone of her voice wasn’t normal. It was like she was in terror from being cornered by a devil or something.

I walked to her side, and peered in on her face.

“Really, what happened? Is there something you’re worried about? If there’s anything I can do, just tell me. When I see you hurting like this, it hurts me too, Mum.”

“Tilea… Mum is sorry for worrying you. You really are such a good girl.”

Moved to tears, Mum gently patted me on the head.

It’s my first time seeing her like this. I want to help her. But no matter how many times I asked about what was going on, Mum would only say “It’s okay.” and wouldn’t tell me why she was down. What do I do to help her…

I turned my gaze to Dad to have him explain.

“Tilea, there’s nothing to worry about. Sera’s just a little tired.”

“What do you mean?”

“Sera, you’re worrying Tilea too. I’ll explain what’s going on. It’s not big deal, Sera, it’s just a misunderstanding. So don’t look so serious.”

“Y-, You’re right. Thinking about it carefully, we have to tell Tilea too, don’t we.”

Mum fixed her sitting posture and looked at me with grave eyes. Seeing her expression… Yeah, it seems like something incredibly heavy. I gulped, and waited for Mum to start.

“I-, Is Timu out?”

“Mn, she’s out. Apparently she’s playing with Niel.”

“I-, I see.”

When Mum realised that Timu wasn’t here, she let out a long sigh and looked relieved. Uh, she seems kind of vigilant against Timu.

Why…?

“Mum, did something happen with Timu?”

“…Hasn’t that girl been strange recently?”

“Aahh. So that’s what it is. Mum, don’t worry about it so much. Timu is in a kind of rebellious phase right now.”

I see. So Mum’s been worried about Timu’s behaviour lately. Chuuni syndrome is like a kind of disease that affects people in puberty. As long you don’t aggravate it, it isn’t a problem. I’ll be watching over Timu in that respect, so it’s all good.

Phew~ Mum was making such a serious face that I got a little scared. I’m a pro when it comes to chuunibyou, so leave it to me.

“Right, right? So you think so too, Tilea. Sera’s just worrying too much. A bigger problem is that weird clothing you wore the other day!”

“Uu, give that baaack, Dad. It looked so good too…”

“Idiot! You think I’ll let my young daughter wear such a shameless outfit! Honestly, you’re too defenceless. If some strange guy started flirting with you…”

Dad mumbled in complaint. It seems that it’s true that fathers dote on their daughters. Even though Dad is a complete cooking nut and usually never meddles with us.

Huhu, Daddy. Are you a tsundere? It’s true that the two of us are exceptionally cute. In particular, Timu is like an angel when she puts on the maid outfit. I super understand Dad’s feelings.

Dad, don’t worry. I feel the same way. If any strange bugs start making moves on Timu, I’ll punish them with my iron fists. After that, Dad and I continued to noisily argue about what would be good if not a maid outfit.

*imouto*

“It’s not something AS SIMPLE AS A REBELLIOUS PHASEEEEE!”

“M-, Mum?”

While Dad and I were talking about silly things, Mum suddenly screamed in grief. Her expression was just as heartbroken as before. Even though I explained Timu’s situation, it looks like she wouldn’t understand.

“W-, When I look at that girl, I shudder. It’s like somebody else switched place with my daughter… T-, That definitely isn’t my child.”

“Sera, that’s not something that you should say!”

“You’re right, Mum. I’ll feel bad for Timu.”

“You and Tilea don’t understand a thing. You two are cooking idiots, and I mean that in a good way, so you haven’t realised it.”

Mum spoke with a sigh. It’s true that when Dad and I get passionate about cooking, we start to lose sight of things. But not when it comes to Timu. She’s my precious family after all.

“Mum, it’s fine, honest. Timu’s behaviour is just something temporary.”

“What the heck do you mean ‘cooking idiot’. I’m the head of this household. Of course I know what’s going on with my family. You’re tired, Sera.”

“…Hu, hu, then tell me. Do you know what that girl said to me? Do you know what that girl really is?”

“Cut it out already! Timu is our daughter, and Tilea’s younger sister. She’s a precious member of our family!”

“It’s just like Dad says. Mum, what’s wrong? Timu is our precious family. Didn’t you adore Timu as well, Mum!”

“Tilea, listen to me. That girl is a demon. THE REAL TIMU’S BEEN KILLED BY THE DEMONS! WAHHHHHHHHHH!”

Tears started falling from her face as she sobbed.

By ‘demon’…

Oh crap. Seems like Mum heard Timu’s chuuni talk.

“Mum, you’re wrong. You see, Timu, right now she’s playing pretend, and acting like she’s a chosen one, a demon. That’s all it is!”

“Hic-, hic-, and you know what else? What do you think that girl said to me? When I called her by her name, she said “I’ll kill you.” you know. Hic-, she said that only special beings were allowed to call her by that name!”

“Wha-!? Wha-!? Wha-!?”

“And you know? Hic-, hii-, t-, that girl told me “Call me Camilla.” and that she would be leaving the house soon, and until then she could play the part of my family. Hic-, hii-, a-, and SHE WOULDN’T TAKEE MY LIFE UNTIL THEEEEEEN!”

“WHAAAAAAT!?”

To think that Timu said such outrageous things to Mum…

It felt my heart was going to break from the reality of all this. Timu is a chuunibyou, so it can’t be helped that she pretends to be the demon Camilla. As one of the few people who knows about chuunibyou, I thought I needed to be understanding of her…

I was naive. Timu’s been using chuunibyou to act violently towards her family. Not with physical violence this time, but verbal violence. I thought Timu reflected when I spanked her that day.
But I was wrong. Because Timu was afraid of being spanked, she just changed her target from me to Mum.

Oh my god…

It’s a shock. And I now have a reason to spank her again.

“Mum, leave Timu to me.”

“You can’t! Tilea, you’ll be killed!”

Heh? Whoa, whoa, whoa, Mum, what are you saying?

I was stunned by Mum’s words. Was that some joke? ――Doesn’t look like it. Mum was completely serious when she was talking about a little sister killing her older sister. From Mum’s expression, I was keenly aware of how serious she was being.

Eh!? Serious!?

Mum’s feeling really cornered then. I see. I get it now. There’s no such word as chuunibyou in this world. There isn’t any news or counseling either. It’s not surprising that Mum thought Timu was like another person after having such cruel words spat at her.

Aah, when my chuunibyou was really bad in my last life, my parents must have thought of me the same way, huh? After all, my parents went to counseling and the hospital. My parents from my last life might have thought I was a different person as well.

My old Mum and Dad. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I didn’t realise. There’s no parents who don’t love their children.

After having that kind of thing said to her, Mum must have come to that conclusion after lot’s and lot’s of agonising in order to make sense of it all. Timu was a good girl before she came down with chuunibyou, so it must have worried Mum even more.

“Mum, Dad, leave this to me. I’ll definitely, definitely fix this. For now, I’ll try having a talk with Timu after she comes back from playing with Niel.”

“Tilea, that man is dangerous too! You can’t go near him!”

S-, Sorry? Pervert(Nielsen) is dangerous? Well, I guess in a certain sense, perverts are dangerous, but…

Hah-!? It can’t be!

“Mum, it can’t be that Niel said something too?”

“H-, He said that if I was rude, he would kill me.”

Okay. He’s dead. Even though I’ve been paying him so much attention, that bastard!

Pervert(Nielsen)’s death penalty is already set, but what do I do about Timu? No, there’s no time to worry about this. Even while I’m standing here, Mum’s love for Timu is disappearing. That would be a tragic end for both Mum and Timu.

Timu, this is for your sake. This time I’m going all out with your spanking. I can’t always be the kind older sister. In order to discipline my cute little sister, I’ve decided to put on the mask of a hannya.

---

It should really be Sarah, but in this world filled with so many weird made-up names, it felt a little odd to have such a super average name in there. And well, Sera is basically the same name anyway, so no worries I guess.

---

<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

 

Chapter 27 – “The skill of a craftsman sure shines.”

Hu, hu, hu, today I finally got my hands on my dearest wish; a black dress and a frilly white apron. Right, it’s a maid outfit. This orthodox design resembles the ones in Akiba. The design is unmistakably perfect.

Now then, how does the fabric feel…

I picked up the maid outfit to see.

Ooh! It feels like silk. They used some high-quality material for this. It was worth asking the unreasonable of Loser(Bizef).

Ever since that dokyun incident, Lozer(Bizef) has really been ashamed around me.

And of course! Of all things, the Guard Captain fainted and left civilians like us to fight. There should be a limit to negligence.

At first, Loser(Bizef) was using demons as his excuse for fainting again, but when I told him that Timu and I defeated the dokyun, he fell silent.

Everybody was snickering at him, you know? If Loser(Bizef) was telling the truth, then that meant that Timu and I had driven off demons. Geez, once excuses reach this level of ridiculousness, they start to feel refreshing instead.

Well, as you’d expect, Loser(Bizef) seemed to find things awkward because he said “As an apology, I’ll listen to whatever you say.” so I persuaded him to get me clothes. After all, Loser(Bizef) is a weapons maniac. He should be well known not only with weapons stores, but clothing stores as well. I asked him for order made clothing, paying no attention to the cost.

…I was just asking to try, you know. I was surprised too, when the maid outfit was exactly like I envisioned it.

Now then, time to try them on. I ordered two sets; one for me, and one for Timu. I urged Timu to wear it.

“Ti~mu, I want you to do me a favour, but…”

“Yes, Oneesama. Please order me however you please.”

-sparkle- I’ve got a promise from Timu. Even if you say no later, it’s not going to work, okay?

“I see… Well then, could you try this on for a little?”

“Understood.”

Timu took the maid outfit from me and looked over its design.

“…Oh? What a queer outfit.”

“It’s clothing from Japan after all.”

“Is that so? It looks quite difficult to move in. I wonder what purpose this serv――wai-, O-, Oneesama!? Y-, Your eyes are a little frightening.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine, don’t think too much about it, okay?”

Apparently Timu was bewildered by my enthusiasm. Hmm, I don’t want to force her, but I want her to listen to me. I pushed against Timu’s back, and urged her to change.

A few minutes later…

Timu finished changing. Of course, so had I.

“O-, Oneesama. This is a little embarrassing…”

O-, Oh my god!

T-, This is too cute. Timu is usually already so cute, but when she puts this on it’s like that cuteness is increased a hundredfold. I couldn’t bear it anymore, and hugged her tightly from behind.

“Huhu, Timu. It really suits you.”

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<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

 

Chapter 26 – Luxembourg’s Secret Manoeuvring

Demon General Luxembourg was standing on the Beruga Plains. She had been watching the earlier battle with great interest.

“Fighting head-on with the Evil God? Are they idiots? In a battle you have to hit their weak point, see? Aren’t I like, super smart?”

Luxembourg was aiming to profit in the aftermath of their battle.

But first I’d better thank them for these wounds.

Using her incredible sense of smell and vision, she searched for the Demonic Evil Three.

“Gotcha!”

Seiryuu and Byakko were passing through the plains on the backs of their mounts. Going ahead to intersect their path, Luxembourg lay in wait in a bush to the side.

The wind was blowing. Based on their positions, the mounts wouldn’t notice her.

After a few minutes, the mounts passed by Luxembourg without noticing her…

“Huhu, where you going♪”

With measured timing, Luxembourg leapt out and aimed a powerful kick at the mounts. The mounts were struck by an incredible force, and were blown back along with their riders.

The mounts were a few hundred kilos each. Even so, they had been blown back dozens of metres. That alone told of the kick’s tremendous power.

“GAHHH!”

The mounts stood unsteadily, and roared to try and protect their fallen masters. Despite their broken legs and damaged fangs, they pressured Luxembourg.

“How silly. You should have just left guys like these and run away.”

Luxembourg boldly approached them as they howled, and with a swing of her arm flew the heads of the mounts.

Now then, how were the other two?

First she looked at Byakko. There was a large, fist-shaped hole in his belly, and he was spurting blood from his mouth. Even his breath was feeble, and you could tell that he had taken a tremendous hit. When Luxembourg approached, Byakko entreated her help, seemingly delirious.

“O-, Oh… S-, Sa, ve… m-…e”

“Hmmm~♪ Do you wanna be saved that bad?”

“M-, Make haste… damn you. F-, Fool, m-, my mana, cannot――”

“Don’t wanna.”

Luxembourg shot a magic bullet at him. The merciless bullet collided violently with his stomach.

“GOHHH!”

“Kyahahaha♪ What the heck, what a grossss voice.”

While weakened, he had taken a magic bullet from one of the Six Demon Generals. Byakko even lost his original form as he was smashed to pulp.

Next, Luxembourg examined Seiryuu. Seiryuu had been more severely injured; the bone had been pulverised all across his body, and he wasn’t even properly conscious.

“Ki, goh… gah…”

“Hmm. This guy is on his last breath, isn’t he. Guess it can’t be helped. He was beaten to a pulp by the Evil God after all.”

Luxembourg peered in on Seiryuu’s face. Her expression was filled with joy.

“Heyy? Want me to save you?”

“Guh… Gi…”

“Boooring!”

She trampled on his head with all her might, and his skull collapsed with a splurt.

“Kyahaha♪ This is what happens when you get carried away, you know.”

So she muttered happily.

Kyaha, what a bunch of retards.

With this, she felt a little better.

“Now then, where was the Evil God again?”

Her pupils widened…

Found them!

The Evil God was laying down, nestled against Camilla. And behind her was the unconscious Nielsen.

Using her completely trained limbs, Luxembourg moved at high speeds to where the Evil God was laying. Although an enemy quickly approached, the Evil God was sleeping peacefully without notice.

And then, Luxembourg clamped the Evil God’s head in her hand.

“So this is the Evil God… She really does look just like a normal human.”

A lovely face, and a slim neck. With her dainty body, she looked like nothing but a human. Had Luxembourg not seen that incredible battle, she wouldn’t have been able to believe it. And next to the Evil God was Camilla the traitor.

“You guys really are too defenceless… So stupid.”

Luxembourg’s face warped in joy. The joy was irrepressible. Not only were those cocky nuisances gone, the Evil God was weary and battered. How often would as wonderful a situation come along?

“Haha, I really am so lucky! Please watch, Zorg-sama. I’ll immediately offer them to you――well then, die!”

A strike that came down, filled with mana――

But her hand was caught in Tilea’s.

“Kuh-!? Evil God, you noticed? But you really are unsteady… Fine then, I’ll finish you off♪”

“It has been a long while, O Lux.”

“Eh-!? Why!? I-, It can’t be――I see. So you were in there.”

……
…………
………………

“――Well then, I am leaving it to you.”

“Sir, please leave it to me.”

Demon General Luxembourg disappeared without anybody noticing.

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Note: This is not a cliff-hanger. No matter what you guys might want this series to be, in the end it’s a comedy. Sometimes a slightly dark-ish comedy, but always a comedy, so the back-story moves along veeeery slowly. So yeah.

Chapter 25 – “A mortal struggle, and the end. My muscles are sure going to hurt tomorrow.”

Tiger Dokyun vomited blood and fainted. A girl like me defeated a huge tiger of over 3 metres tall.

Bracers of Burst Earth… As expected of Loser(Bizef)’s prized rare item. It’s at times like this that I really get the feeling that I’m in another world. I can cover for my low level with good gear after all.

“O-, One hit…?”

“Yes. I’m also surprised. However, the Evil God should have also lost a lot of mana.”

“Y-, Yeah. Aight, let’s use another Triangle Hells Attack![Demonic Evil Ultimate Suppression Spell!]”

“It’ll be difficult with only us two, but I suppose it can’t be helped.”

Dragon Dokyun and Flame Dokyun began chanting again. A magic circle appeared between them.

“I-, It can’t be…”

“Huhu, did somebody say that it could only be done with three people? It’s possible even with two.”

Kuh-, that thing from before again? Help from Timu won’t be coming this time. If I get hit by that again, I really won’t have any way to resist.

What do I do?

Triangle Hells Attack[Demonic Evil Ultimate Suppression Spell]. They described it in a chuuni-esque way, but basically it’s a stamina drain. I know the trick to it now. Finishing the spell, the three of them had pointed at me as though locking on, and then black arrows came flying from every direction. And then when the arrows pierced me, I lost almost all my strength…

Mn!? Speaking of which, last time I stood still because I was hesitant to attack the dokyun with my nunchaku. If I move so that they miss when they point at me, I might be able to avoid it.

Let’s try it out!

Now that I’m set on this, it’s time to release that from my dark history; one of the Evil God Seven Hundred and Seventy Seven Skills.

Killing blow, “Pepsi Roll.”

While dancing through the battlefield in a figure-8 motion defence, you utilise the recoil from the movements to barrage from left and right with enough power to burst open a Pepsi can.

It was the special technique of a protagonist in a boxing manga in my old life. In my previous life I had become addicted to that manga, and instead of working or studying I just holed up in a manga cafe and read the entire series five times. In particular, I was so addicted that I filmed myself numerous times, performing the protagonist’s killing blow, “Pepsi Roll” and uploading it to a video-sharing website.

Well, the fact that I got carried away, practised it on a log, and then fractured my hand is another story. Anyway, my body should still know how to do it.

I pulled my fists up into a guard, and took a boxing stance. And then, with movements like a bee, I headed at full speed towards the dokyun.

“T-, The hell is that!?”

“Kuh-, I can’t read her movements.”

Heh! Just as expected. It looks like the dokyun can’t follow tricky movements. While they were failing to get an aim on me, I closed the distance and closed in right in front of Dragon Dokyun.

“Prepare!”

Together with my shout, I used the centrifugal force and rained a barrage of punches upon him. His solar plexus, his face, his temple. I continued hitting them all rhythmically, striking mercilessly into his vitals. It can’t be helped. Dragon Dokyun has regeneration powers, so there wouldn’t be any point in hitting him with half-assed attacks.

“H-, Hii. Gue-, yo-, st-, sto-, p, s-, save――GOHEHH!”

Frothing at the mouth, Dragon Dokyun fainted in agony. He was spreading bloody vomit everywhere, but he was alive at least.

Now then, there’s just one dokyun left. Only, I don’t want to get violent on a girl. It’d be great if she ran away now, but…

Well, if she still wants to go at it, I’ll give her a taste of gender equality.

“You’re the only one left, you know. Well? Going to surrender?”

“…Evil God. That was splendid. However, I know your weak point now. It seems that you’re a close combat type. I’m going to burn you from afar.”

Saying that, Flame Dokyun took a distance, and began to activate her magic.

Crap!

It seems that she found out that I couldn’t use magic. It’s true that I haven’t used a single spell this whole time. It can’t be helped. I’ll get through this with a bluff somehow.

“Huhu, when did I say I was bad with ranged battles? Even though I’m actually better at ranged magical attacks.”

“T-, That’s a lie.”

“It’s up to you if you want to test it. Only you’d better be prepared to disappear down to the last drop of blood!”

“Then I will reciprocate with my Terafire(Ultimate Fire Spell). I’m going to turn this whole region into ash, you know.”

Oooh, this chick can bluff too! Like I’ll lose to her. I’ve been an expert in chuuni bluffs since my last life.

“HA HA HA! Then I’ll use this spell to destroy the whole damn country!”

“Y-, You’re bluffing――v-, very well. If you’re going to say that much, then I’ll show you the flames of hell. It’s my most powerful move. Both you and this town are done for.”

Flame Dokyun was shaken. Looks like she’s about half-convinced by my bluff. It seems that thanks to the defeat of Tiger Dokyun and Dragon Dokyun, she’s mistaken me for a talented adventurer. Thanks to Loser(Bizef)’s weapon, I’ve really taken her for a ride.

Alright. I’ll just chant some threatening incantation to continue the pressure. Only, I don’t know the magic of this world, so my only choice is to make use of my memories of my old world.

Which phrase would be best…

I know! That one!

I decided to use the lines from a certain anime’s strongest spell to scare her.

“Tremble in fear! Thou who art darker than darkness, Thou who art faster than even a flowing river… By the lofty name of Dark Matter… We swear on the Evil God.”

“W-, What is that! I’ve never heard of such a chant.”

“Hmph. The lukewarm spells made from the immature magic elements of this nation are no match for me. I’ll show you the Evil God’s final technique!”

“T-, That can’t be… W-, What mana…”

“I shall continue. Those who would defy Us, All those who are fools, By Our power, Grant Destruction upon them!”

I rhythmically moved my hands as though actually activating some grand spell. I randomly brought my hands together and made a heart-shape, and did other random pantomimes.

“Y-, You can’t be… A-, Are you sane? If you release a magic with that gargantuan mana, far from this country, even the world itself will be destroyed!”

“You wanted to see it, didn’t you? I’ll show it to you. The end of the world!”

“W-, Wait…”

“The games end now. GIGA SLA――”

“H-, Hiii!”

Flame Dokyun looked at me as though I was some sort of monster, and after shrieking, she ran away.

Yes! My bluff completely fooled her!

There were some unexpected occurrences, but I managed to show them my strength. Now that they’ve had such a painful experience, they probably won’t make trouble for us again.

Phew~ It’s over…

Now that the fight was over, throbbing pains ran through my body. I got into a brawl, didn’t I. Honestly, this was my first time fighting. In my previous life, I was one-sidedly beat on, but I was never hurt to this extent. But well, this time I got them right back though.

Speaking of which, that Flame Dokyun left her companions here. Although they’re dokyun, I’m hesitant to just leave them here. They look pretty badly injured, so maybe I should at least call somebody to heal them. I turned towards town,

“Uu!”

and what faced me were the sabertooth tiger things from earlier, growling and glaring at me.

R-, Right…

They came here on some dangerous mounts.

T-, This is bad. The dokyun were still people so I could fool them with my mouth, but that won’t work on wild animals.

W-, What should I do?

Our eyes met. What ferocious expressions. There isn’t even a little friendliness.

I-, If it’s come to this, then I’ll just do whatever I can!

I held the rare weapon up in a fighting pose to threaten them.

I-, If you’re going to come, then come!

If possible, I’d prefer that you didn’t though…

“Kyain, kyuin”

Ooh~ I don’t really get it, but they ran away. Did they see me as a strong warrior because I defeated their masters?
Now that they’re running away scared, they kind of look like chihuahuas, and I’m starting to find them a bit cute.
――hey-, wait, hang on! You’re trying to run away without your masters!

I’ll try gesturing at the mounts to convey the message. First I pointed at the dokyun, and then I mimed riding, and various other things…

After a few minutes, perhaps they understood me, because they picked their masters up, and disappeared.

W-, With this, it really has ended. I pat my chest in relief.

“Wh-, Whoa.”

Once the tension left me, I collapsed to my knees. I really did overdo things. My entire body is weary. I took a drain after all.

But I did well in coming out fine. It’s thanks to the items that Loser(Bizef) lent me. But those items are ruined enough that they’re pitiful to look at. There were cracks in them, and because of Flame Dokyun’s fire, they were blackened all over.

If Loser(Bizef) sees them, won’t he faint a second time?

His prided and gorgeous items look like scrap now. But I don’t intend on reimbursing him, you know. If he wants to complain, then he should bring it up with the dokyun.

To begin with, it’s Loser(Bizef)’s fault for fainting at the very beginning and retiring from the match. He sure is easygoing for the Guard Captain. Had Loser(Bizef) tried harder, neither Timu or I would have needed to fight…

Thanks to Timu and I, it looks like the trouble this time has been solved. And in particular, I really owe Timu. She risked her life to save me. She’s down with chuuni disease at the moment, but at heart she’s still the same. A really wonderful little sister.

I looked at Timu lovingly. She was sleeping soundly.

“Timu.”

I moved my body, to try and run over to her.

Owwowowow…

My insides hurt. I’m probably going to have muscle pain tomorrow. Guess I’ll have a rest before I head home. Moving to Timu’s side, and snuggling up to her, I fell asleep.

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Killing blow, “Pepsi Roll.”
A reference to the Dempsey Roll.

“The games end now. GIGA SLA――”
The whole chant and spell is a reference to Lina Inverse’s Giga Slave (from the Slayers franchise).

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