Chapter 24 – “You’ve finally made me angry.”

The dokyun began to do something. Flame Dokyun fell back, while Dragon Dokyun and Tiger Dokyun stood to my left and right.

Huh? Huh? What’s about to happen?

They’ve begun to take some sort of formation.

I-, I’m kinda getting a bad feeling about this…

“Oneesama!”

Apparently Timu also noticed the abnomality of whatever they were doing because she ran over to me, worriedly.

“Timu, it’s dangerous so stay back!”

Timu can’t be placed in danger.

I stopped Timu from approaching.

These guys are planning something. But I don’t know what, exactly.

In that case, I need to make the first move. Shall I have you taste my nunchaku again!?

Only, the nunchaku are too powerful. If Dragon Dokyun didn’t have regeneration powers, it would’ve turned into a huge incident.

Damned Loser(Bizef). It’s only at times like this that he’s oddly hard-working!

If I hit the wrong place with this weapon, it’ll kill somebody.

Once I considered this, I hesitated in attacking the dokyun again.

“Evil God, I really didn’t think I’d hafta use this technique!”

“Yes. It was supposed to be our trump card again the Demon King.”

The dokyun mumbled some chant.

I-, It can’t be…

Every one of them can use magic?

It was the same in my last life as well, but there were a lot of delinquents with high specs. It looks like that rule applies in this world too.

Honestly, if you have that much ability then try contributing to society a little!

Paying no attention to my displeasure, the three of them completed their magic.

And then…

“””Triangle Hells Attack![Demonic Evil Ultimate Suppression Spell!]”””

The very instant that they finished chanting their incantation, hundreds of magic arrows appeared all around me in every direction. And all of them were pointed at me.

“Wai-, this isn’t a jok-, OWWWW!”

I-, It hurts. It really, really hurts!

Dozens of the arrows ruthlessly stabbed into my body.

STABBED INTO MY BODY!?

Am I going to die?

But, t-, there’s no blood…?

――only, what happened instead was that the shiny black arrows began to sparkle and particles of light began to float about.

W-, What is this?

Anyway, for now I need to pull out the arrows!

H-, Huh? For some reason my arms feel weak.

I grabbed the magic arrows and tried to pull them out of me, but my arms were losing strength.

“GAHHAHHHAH! How do you feel, Evil God? Feeling your body grow weak?”

“Ku ku ku. Those black arrows are special, yanno; they’re mana absorbing. Just a graze from one of those is enough to suck out ten normal demons’ worth of mana.”

“Huhu. This was a good test for our battle with the Demon King.”

The three dokyun smiled with joy.

Mana absorbing?

So it was like those drain spells that appear in RPGs!?

W-, What a terrible thing to do. I’m just a normal person you know!

A dangerous spell like this is normally supposed to be used on magic beasts.

I see. With a spell like this you can laugh and enjoy yourself as the other person loses their strength and panics. It sounds like something those low-life dokyun would come up with. But these guys don’t understand at all. Even if these arrows aren’t fatal, there’s a chance that a spell like this could kill an ordinary person.

There were a number of instances in my old life when dokyun messing around caused people to die. I don’t have the slightest intention of dying for such a reason.

Once again, I tried to muster my strength and pull the arrows out. But as expected, I couldn’t find the strength to. The hand wrapped around the arrow was trembling.

This is bad. My strength is leaving me. I can’t send any power into my limbs at all. This is bad. Really bad. I’m growing noticeably weaker.

“I’m coming, Oneesama!”

“Y-, You can’t. D-, Don’t come……”

“Oop. Camilla, we ain’t gunna let ya through.”

“Please be quiet and watch.”

Flame Dokyun created a curtain of flames between Timu and I. The roaring curtain of flames flared so high that they seemed to reach the skies.

UOHHH, what a crazy flame pillar!? You could make a living with your magic. Stop wasting your time on being a delinquent and go get a proper job.

“Kuh-, YOU!”

Timu tried to break through it somehow, but the flame curtain stopped her――or rather, stop that already. If you try and break through that it won’t end with just a burn.

“He he. Well then, Evil God. In return for this arm of mine, gunna pay you back a few times over.”

Dragon Dokyun swung his blade with crazed eyes. I desperately blocked with my nunchaku.

Even though I held myself back earlier so that I wouldn’t hurt these guys…

Now that I was weakened, the dokyun happily tormented me.

Now that it’s come to this, I can’t hold back anymore. Discarding my earlier hesitation, I attacked. But whenever I tried to, the dokyun would skilfully dodge, and retaliate with hit and run tactics. I was trapped.

Kuh-, if I don’t defeat them while I can still move…!

My anxiety grew, but I couldn’t find a way to change the situation. The biggest problem was definitely my mana being drained. Whenever I tried to attack, my strikes were weak, and I never hit. At this rate, things are only going to get worse.

“HAHAHA! Take this!”

“GAHAHAHA! Have a roar!”

“Hu hu, where are you looking? You’re going to get burnt to death, you know.”

Hahh, hahh, the three dokyun all continued to attack in their own ways. Dragon Dokyun was swinging his Azure Dragon Crescent Moon Blade about. I don’t know if it was magic or some power specific to beastmen, but Tiger Dokyun was hitting me with roars of touki bullets. On top of that, Flame Dokyun was using Merazonma-class flame magic…

If it wasn’t for Loser(Bizef)’s rare equipment, wouldn’t I have died?

And, finally, the rare equipment was starting to form cracks. Even rare equipment would obviously break if it continued taking attacks like this.

Mn!? Which means that I’ll have to deal with the power of the next attack with my own defence?

This is bad, this is bad. T-, This is definitely bad!

I-, I’m scared. I’m so scaredd…

I really shouldn’t have picked a fight with dokyun. They cross the line without even blinking.

…If I prostrated myself in dogeza and cried, would they forgive me?

I took a peek at their expressions. All three of their faces were warped in joy. They were drunk on violence.

I know that look.

In my past life, sometimes I had been surrounded by dokyun and beaten up like this. This scene right now was just like in my memories. They looked on with fun when they saw that I was afraid.

These three are the same!

If you ask for forgiveness from people like this, all it does is spur them on. In my previous life, I just gave them all the money I had, and desperately apologised to escape from the pain.

But this time that won’t work.

Are these guys aiming for money?

They’re not. They’re aiming for women. If it was just me, it would still be better. But these guys even planned to turn their poisonous fangs on Timu. That alone is something I have to stop.

It’s different to the times in my old life. I absolutely can’t lose this time!

“UOHHHHH! SEH! YAH!”

With my fighting spirit blazing again, I swung my nunchaku. My whole body felt like lead, and I felt like I would fall even now, but I mustered all my willpower and continued to attack with the nunchaku.

“Oop, that was close. Ya still had that much power!?”

“I’m shocked. Even a high-class demon would have died long ago from the mana absorption.”

“Heh! Gunna be taking this!”

Dragon Dokyun received the blow of my nunchaku with his Azure Dragon Crescent Moon Blade, before snatching the nunchaku away from me.

Shit, he avoided it!

My vision was getting blurry, and of all things, even my weapon was in their hands. Without it, I had no way to resist. For now I need to move, or else I’ll just be a target for them. I ran left and right.

“HAHAHA, she can still move that well? This chick’s mana is like bottomless or something!”

“But her mana should reach its limit soon. I’m looking forward to when that happens.”

Dragon Dokyun and Flame Dokyun were chatting impatiently. To stop me from escaping, the three of them maintained their formation while carefully working together. At this rate, things will just go the way they want.

“Oneesama!”

At that moment, Timu broke through the flames. Her clothes were burnt here and there, and that wasn’t all. I’m sure she was burnt somewhere herself.

“Timu, how could you do something so dangerous!”

“My deepest apologies, Oneesama. It took me a long time just to activate a defensive magic that could break through her flames.”

Timu, so you can even use defensive magic…

You’re amazing. You should feel proud of yourself. But it’s dangerous here. Those three are scumbags that would have no qualms about tormenting us even if we were already seriously injured.

“Timu, hurry up and run from here.”

“Oneesama, I will remove those arrows this instant.”

“Just listen, and hurry up and――”

“Oneesama, please endure for a little. I will hit you with Star Freya[Super Demon Star Magic Bullets].”

Ah, the spell from that time. The magic bullets from Timu’s hand collided with the arrows buried in me. Because they were firm and tough, they wouldn’t disappear unless they were hit by dozens of the magic bullets.

“I shall not allow you!”

The dokyun noticed Timu and showed their intent to attack. Tiger Dokyun took the pose that he used for roaring. This is bad. He’s going to attack with his roar bullet!

“W-, Wait. Stop it! Timu, I’m fine so hurry up and run!”

Completely lost it in, I screamed at Timu. Tiger Dokyun’s roar bullets were quite powerful. The only reason my injuries are this light is because I’ve been wearing rare equipment. If somebody took that with their unarmoured body, I think even a large adult would be seriously injured.

“J-, Just a little more.”

Timu ignored my words and continued removing the arrows. I see. Of course. There’s no way a girl who cares about her older sister this much would leave in a pinch like this.

I tried to cover Timu, but I couldn’t really find the strength.

“Camilla, DIEEE!”

Tiger Dokyun’s roar bullet rushed towards Timu. That loud roar bullet sped towards her like it was being guided in.

“Guhah-!”

“Timu!”

N-, No way…

It was a direct hit. She might be seriously injured. I immediately rushed towards her side.

“Hahh, hahh, O-, Oneesa-, ma… T-, Thank goodness. It seems the curse… removed.”

“Yes, thanks to you, Timu. I’m completely fine now. My strength is back.”

“T-, That I could be… o-, of use to you, makes me… happy, Oneesama.”

“Sorry, Timu. Because I was useless I made you force yourself. Just rest here. Leave the rest to me.”

After giving a nod, Timu collapsed on the spot.

She’s breathing normally. Thankfully there didn’t seem to be any danger to her life.

Phew~ Thank goodness.

A sigh of relief escaped me. She mentioned defensive magic covering her body, so that’s probably why. But because of me she was hurt, and experienced something scary. I hope it doesn’t become a trauma, but…

Shit, if I knew this was going to happen, I should have had Timu borrow equipment as well. I made a horrible slip-up. When I went to borrow equipment I hadn’t planned on having Timu fight directly, so I didn’t take it into account. I really am too naive. Even if she was on standby in the backline, situations like this time’s presented plenty enough chance for her to be hit.

“GUHAHAHAHAHA! The first is down!”

Tiger Dokyun laughed heartily.

What an unbelievable bastard! He doesn’t feel even a little guilt for hurting somebody. And a child like Timu too!

I can’t forgive them anymore. I’m not mature enough to stay quiet after my precious family has been hurt.

I dashed over to the unconscious Loser(Bizef) and borrowed a certain item from him pocket. Right. The item that he said I could even use to kill a magic beast with; the dangerous weapon “Bracers of Burst Earth”.

Loser(Bizef) is an untrustworthy and unreliable guy, but when it comes to weapons, you can believe him. Even without my nunchaku, using this is plenty.

Bastard dokyun! How dare you do something as brutal as directly hitting somebody with your roar bullet!

You guys might have thought of it as a bit of fun, but if something went wrong, Timu might have died you know! I’ll let you know what it means to hurt somebody. I’ll play this game the way you do. Don’t regret it if you die!

I equipped the bracers, and immediately closed the distance to Tiger Dokyun.

“Evil God!? What are you――”

“EAT THIS!”

This is payment for hurting Timu. With all my strength, I threw my right fist forward and gave Tiger Dokyun’s guts a taste of my straight.

“GEHOOOOOH!”

Tiger Dokyun gave a scream loud enough to echo in the mountains, before throwing up blood and collapsing. He was twitching on the ground now.

…D-, Did he die?

“Guh… Gi… Gah…”

No, it looks like he barely made it. It’s definitely a heavy wound but… No, I don’t care. They had a great time doing me in, so I’m angry. It’s my turn now.

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“On top of that, Flame Dokyun was using Merazonma-class flame magic…”
Parody of the Dragon Quest spell, Merazohma.

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<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Chapter 23 – “Experience the power of the Killer Nunchaku!”

I commenced my attack to stop the dokyun. They numbered three, so I was going to defeat one of them before I was surrounded. But the range of Dragon Dokyun’s blade was long, and with Flame Dokyun’s flame magic, I couldn’t carelessly close the distance.

How should I move?

Even while I was thinking, the dokyun were getting closer.

“Providing support, Oneesama!”

Timu who had been hiding in the rear, fired her magic bullets. The buzzing magic bullets flew right ahead, and threatened the dokyun near their feet.

“Tsk. Damned Camilla. So she was hiding in the back.”

“It’s strange, isn’t it. I couldn’t sense her mana.”

In face of Timu’s torrent of bullets, the dokyun all went on the defence. Though only elementary magic, with that many of Timu’s bullets raining down, the dokyun couldn’t move.

It’s my chance.

While Timu was stopping the dokyun with her magic bullets, I closed the distance and swung down my nunchaku at Dragon Dokyun’s arm.

“G-, GYAHHHH! M-, MY ARMMMMMMM!”

My nunchaku struck him splendidly on the arm, and Dragon Dokyun screamed and fell to the ground, writhing.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, aren’t you being a little dramatic! Even if Loser(Bizef) gave it a magic enchantment, you’re still a dragonoid, aren’t you. I mean he clearly had hard scales. And also, now that I looked carefully, he was pale too. Although he’s a dokyun, could it be that he’s calcium deficient with a weak constitution?

――wai-, whoa!?

Dragon Dokyun’s arm is bent the wrong way!? Looking carefully, it’s a 90 degree angle.

S-, Seriously…?

Even though he’s a Loser(Bizef), he gets the job done just fine, huh. Just how far did he enchant this if it’s got enough power to break a dragonoid’s arm? Damn Loser(Bizef). He has the heart of a flea, but it looks like just his support magic is good.

I looked down at the nunchaku again. I could see it completely wrapped in a faint magical aura. And this aura worked on the scales of a dragonoid.

T-, Thank goodness.

If Pervert(Nielsen) did something stupid again, I was planning on fixing him up with this. Thank goodness I didn’t, because he would’ve died.

I could see Dragon Dokyun’s white bone sticking out of his broken arm. A so-called compound fracture.

Guess it really does hurt, huh.

Dragon Dokyun was down with a cold sweat, and there was an expression of anguish on his face. It’s bad enough that he needs painkillers.

D-, Did I overdo it a little?

This might be excessive self-defence. No matter how I look at it, that’s going to take more than three months to heal.

For now, let’s try and end it here. Even if they’re dokyun, I have absolutely no intention of becoming a criminal. As long as they swear not to touch Timu, it’s fine.

“W-, With an arm like that, it doesn’t seem like you can fight, huh. If you’re going to run, now’s the time.”

“Hahh, hahh. B-, Bastard. Unforgiveable. Absolutely unforgiveable. Y-, YOUU, HMPH!”

Dragon Dokyun glared at me with eyes filled with rage, before tearing his broken arm off of all things.

“Eh-!?”

W-, Why did he pull his arm off? That’s not something you can fix by going to hospital!

What on earth is he thinking…

Dragon Dokyun was missing everything below the elbow now. While I was dumbfounded by the scene, Dragon Dokyun began to tremble.

And then…

“UOOHHHHHH, DAAAAAAAAH!”

Deh――――EHH!?

H-, He grew an arm. Are you a Great Demon King or something!

Haha, it’s true that this was faster than going to a hospital. Or could it be like some test of guts for the dragonoids?

Anyway, being shocked at this is just what they want. I won’t be perturbed. I need to show the attitude of the strong.

“H-, Hmm~ I’m surprised. So you can regenerate your arm. But it looks like it won’t recover your mana.”

“So you saw through it, Evil God. Yes, Seiryuu’s mana has now greatly fallen.”

Ah-, I knew it!

Of course. There’s no way such an amazing recovery ability wouldn’t use mana. I was just guessing, but I wonder if I managed to act like a powerful person.

“What the hell, Suzaku! My arm broke, yanno. There’s no way that’s 5000.”

“…At present, it appears to has risen to 200,000.”

“Wha-!? Are you trying to say that they rose from 300 to 200,000!?”

“On top of that, it looks to still be rising. It appears that the Evil God normally suppresses her mana.”

“Seems that it wasn’t a lie when Hidler said she was Demon King-tier, huh.”

It looks like the dokyun lost their composure. Their relaxed expressions turned into serious ones, and they talked about how I was Demon King-tier while watching me vigilantly.

Demon King-tier? It’s surprising that they’d be this wary of me, but…

Anyway, they mistook me for somebody strong, just according to plan. This might be the right time to encourage them to surrender.

“If you guys are going to surrender, now’s the time.”

“SHADDAP! We’re gunna rip you to shreds.”

Dragon Dokyun bellowed at me. It seems that he was still quite eager to fight, because he looked ready to come slashing at me any moment.

“Settle yourself, Seiryuu. Camilla lies in wait. Desist from charging in alone.”

“Kuh-! F-, Fine.”

“Well? What will we do? Should I burn Camilla first?”

“Nah, they’d probably work together to stop you.”

“Well then, what will we do?”

“We’re gunna go with our trump card――Triangle Hells Attack![Demonic Evil Ultimate Suppression Spell!]”

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“H-, He grew an arm. Are you a Great Demon King or something!”
Piccolo the Great Demon King

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<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter> 

In case you guys forgot, ‘eat’ is probably the most common euphemism for ‘sex’ in Japanese.

Ladies(レディース) is a term in Japanese that can refer to all-female delinquent biker gangs.

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Chapter 22 – “I underestimated the level of Otherworld deliquents.”

“By the way, Tilea-chan?”

“What is it?”

“This time it’s my turn to wonder… What is that stick that you’ve been carrying around?”

“T-, This is――”

“Hmph. Garbage. This is a weapon called the Killer Nunchaku, used to unleash techniques far beyond anything you could ever accomplish. A divine artifact created by Tilea-sama herself.”

Ah-, idiot!? Loser(Bizef) isn’t a chuunibyou, so if you say something like that…

“Pfft-, AHAHAHAHA! K-, Killer Nunchaku!? And what’s more, a weapon that Tilea-chan created is a divine artifact? Y-, You’re killing me!”

Dammnit!

He burst into laughter at me, just like I thought. Apparently the Killer Nunchaku was hilarious.
Loser(Bizef) rolled about on the ground, guffawing as he held his sides.

“Tilea-sama. I believe we should kill this garbage after all. Part of your strategy though he may be, this is too disrespectful!”

“Niel, I told you, didn’t I. For the sake of the great plan, we need to endure.”

“As expected of Tilea-sama. Treating everybody without haughtiness, no matter how diminutive they might be. In other words, we need at least this much mettle and prudence in order to succeed in taking the world, correct?”

“Yes, yes, exactly as you say. For the sake of spreading my banner across the land, you need to behave, okay?”

“Understood! Even you are bearing with this humiliation. I shall also bear with it.”

And so, just as I managed to stop Pervert(Nielsen), Loser(Bizef) slowly got up from rolling about in laughter.

“Hahh~ That was a good one.”

Damned Loser(Bizef). Looks like he’s finally stopped laughing. But that grin is still on his face. You don’t need to laugh that much…

“Bizef-san, you laughed too much.”

“Sorry, sorry. Pfft-, K-, Killer Nunchaku, was it? Did you create it especially for today, Tilea-chan?”

“Y-, Yes.”

Uu~ I’m starting to feel even more embarrassed now. So this really is how normal people are supposed to respond. Because Pervert(Nielsen) praised me so much, I ended up getting ahead of myself.

“Aah~ Tilea-chan, you don’t have to blush so much. I won’t laugh at you anymore. As an apology, I’ll enchant your weapon.”

“Really!?”

Ooh~ Well this is a windfall. It’s true that I’d still be nervous with just a metal rod. It’d be great if it he gave it some dignity with a magic enchantment.

“Hey, pass it over for a moment.”

“Here.”

I handed the nunchaku to Loser(Bizef) and he began to chant some kind of incantation. Then, the nunchaku was wrapped in some kind of magical light in its entirety.

“Phew~ Alright. I gave it an attack enchantment so it should add to your attack power. Only, maybe I got a little too into it. The destructive power has gone up quite a bit, so be careful how you use it, okay?”

“Garbage, just how helpful are you saying such a level of support magic will be! Before Tilea-sama’s mighty power, it is naught but dregs. Nothing more than adding one to a million!”

Aah~ Pervert(Nielsen) is picking a fight again. Even though I warned him so much. Or could it be that this already counts as enduring it for Pervert(Nielsen)?

“Tilea-chan, I got it. It’s true that getting angry at a guy like this would be immature. Honestly, I already have no idea what he’s on about anymore.”

“Please don’t mind Niel. More importantly, thank you very much for the magic enchantment.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine. More importantly, you really need to be careful when you use it, okay?”

“I know. Unless it comes down to it, I won’t be using this weapon.”

“Heh! Tilea-chan. As long as I’m here, it never will.”

S-, So annoying…

Even after that, Loser(Bizef) continued boasting about his skill. And Pervert(Nielsen) being Pervert(Nielsen) picked a fight with Loser(Bizef) whenever he could.

Well, it seems that Loser(Bizef) won’t respond in kind anymore, so it probably won’t turn physical but…

Huu~ Seems like I’m exhausted even before facing the dokyun. The two of them recklessly quarrelled like we were going to a picnic or something. We’re going to pick a fight with some dokyun, you know. Even though the chance that things will get violent is plenty high, you guys are…

Don’t they understand how serious this is?

Anyway, while I was worrying like that for a while as we were waiting, I suddenly heard the earth tremble, DO DO DO DO.

What is that? What’s that sound?

What’s this sound that feels like the earth is rumbling…?

I strained my eyes and looked in the direction of the quaking.

TOBYYAAAAAAAAH!

What surprised me, you ask? Well yes, the three of them came. Just as expected, the Demonic Evil Three came. But what was surprising was the mounts they were riding on. They weren’t any normal mounts. Instead they were some kind of scary looking sabertooth tiger-type things.

Could this also be illusion magic? Like, maybe they’re actually just chihuahuas…?

No, that’s wrong. I shouldn’t be optimistic here. These guys are dokyun. In this world, there aren’t any motorbikes. So instead of motorbikes, I bet the dokyun of this world ride mounts. Honestly, I have no idea where the hell they got these from, but they’re as dangerous as you can get.

In my past life, dokyun would rampage around on remodelled motorbikes. Then could it be that the status symbol for dokyun in this world is how scary a motorbike(mount) they can get?

This is bad. This is super bad!

If they sic such a crazy pet on me, no matter how many lives I have it won’t be enough.

While I was breaking into a cold sweat, the dokyun got off their mounts and came this way. It seems that they have no intention of siccing them.

――I see!

To these guys, their motorbikes(mounts) are like their precious cars. It’d be terrible if by some chance they got hurt while being sicced on us, right? I was relieved for now.

After that, the dokyun closed in one us, step by step, before finally appearing in front of me.

T-, These guys are the Demonic Evil Three――

I-, I underestimated them…

I really underestimated the dokyun in this world.

I’m stupid. There’s no Sword and Firearms Law in this world.

To begin with… what the heck is that dragonoid?

He’s freaking holding some massive blade. Right, almost like an Azure Dragon Crescent Blade. Did he come out here to take the heads of a thousand generals?

ARE YOU GUAN YU OR SOMETHINGGGGGG!

And that beastman…

ISN’T HE BASICALLY A TIGER ALREADYYYYY!

No, seriously, he isn’t something cute like 『Torajirou』. It’s so crazy that he looks capable of swallowing a person whole. Just how relieved would I be if that were just a mask.

And the last person…

Why is she wrapped head to toe in flames? Is she trying to emphasize “I’m a magcian yanno!” or something like that?

And what’s more, she’s kind of cute.

For now I’ll call them “Dragon Dokyun”, “Tiger Dokyun” and “Flame Dokyun” I guess. Each and every one of them seems to be a difficult person with a few quirks. They definitely don’t look like somebody I can beat. It would be best to leave it to the in-name-only Guard Captain.

“B-, Bizef-san, it’s time to redeem yourself. Come, please give them a warning!”

I tried to tap Loser(Bizef)’s shoulder. But there was nobody there.

Huu~ I expected this, but…

I looked down.

…So you really did faint.

Loser(Bizef) was once again lying there with his eyes rolled back.

You know, I think you should just change your job already. You could only do your work so far because nothing big happened in a country town like Beruga, right?

The “Demonic Evil Three” certainly had intensity. The dokyun of this world were so intense that it would be no mystery for people to call them “Demons”. I felt like I was going to wet myself. But you know, for a former adventurer to be scared of them…?

――Or rather, you definitely weren’t an adventurer, were you!

He was probably something like a club-manager to a famous adventurer party. I’m certain he never actually headed to the frontlines. There’s no mistake that he just did things like taking care of the paperwork or collecting medicinal herbs, and thanks to the achievements of his friends, he rose to C-Rank.

I had always found it strange that somebody with a splendid title like C-Rank adventurer would work as the Guard Captain of a hick town like Beruga, but to think that there was that trick behind it. In a countryside town like Beruga, his actual ability wouldn’t be revealed. If bandits or brigands decided to attack, it would’ve been bad, huh?

…Just lie there and sleep. I’ll take care of the rest somehow.

I moved Loser(Bizef) to the side, before facing off the dokyun.

“Hmph. Human, to lose consciousness due to my press――”

“Yes, yes, you used haki as well, right? I get it already.”

Why do all of these people always give the same reaction? Well, I guess if somebody coincidentally fainted near me in my past life, perhaps I might have said the same thing though…

“What is this ‘haky’?”

“That doesn’t matter, right? More importantly, are you guys the rumoured Demonic Evil Three?”

“Indeed. Are you the Evil God feared by Hidler?”

“Aah~ Is that the setting we’re going with? Fine then. I am Evil God Tilea-sama. And so, what’s your purpose in coming here? Timu――or Camilla rather, I bet you didn’t just come here to complain to her, right!”

“Indeed. We desired to eat the rumoured Evil God, you see.”

“Yes. I came here because I wanted to know what kind of taste the Evil God had.”

“Haha, we’re gunna eat the Evil God!”

Wha-!? T-, They’re going to ‘eat’ me!?

I knew they would be scumbags!

They were thinking about indecent things, just like I suspected.

And eating me? They’re so blunt with their lust. I don’t come cheap, you know!

Of course, just picturing it with the men is enough to give me the shivers. My body might be a woman’s, but my mind is definitely a man’s. And it’s a beastman and dragonoid, you know! Homo, and then bestiality on top of that? Just how badly are they trying to traumatise me.

Ah, but there was a girl too, wasn’t there. She’s pretty cute, so I might actually want to try being eaten by her…

――Whoa-, not good, not good!

She’s a dokyun. Like a Ladies. Not someone you want to get involved with.
Anyway, I sure was naive. I predicted that they would have ulterior motives, but for them to suddenly tell me straight up that they’re going to “attack” me is…

They really are too blunt with their lust. These guys aren’t somebody I can deal with alone. It looks like it isn’t the time to be caring about appearances anymore.

Begin the final strategy!

I’ll get help from everybody in town. I need to have Pervert(Nielsen) run away with Timu, after all.

“Niel, the final strategy――”

“I shall not forgive your remarks against Tilea-sama!”

Pervert(Nielsen) roared that as he struck at the dokyun.

Idiot, don’t be so hasty!

Before I had time to stop him, Pervert(Nielsen) attacked the dokyun but――

“Sluggish!”

“Guhah-!”

Just like I thought, Tiger Dokyun took him down in one punch.

As expected, huh…

No, but even so, he got angry for my sake, right? He was a lot braver than Loser(Bizef) to face people like that. I’ve bettered my opinion of you a little.

“Hahh, kuh-, I-, I, can still…”

Despite the damage he took, Pervert(Nielsen) desperately tried to stand. No, I’ll acknowledge your guts, but don’t force yourself. Dokyun have no common sense, so I bet that guy hit him without holding back. Since it was the feeble Pervert(Nielsen), even one punch might have broken his bones.

“Niel, you don’t need to force yourself. Leave it to me.”

“T-, Tilea-sama, my deepest apolo――”

Perhaps relieved by my words, Pervert(Nielsen) collapsed on the spot.

“Ku ku, that guy was 『Iron Wall』 Nielsen, yeah?”

“Who is that? I haven’t heard of them.”

“Indeed. I have no interest in the weak.”

Each of the dokyun sneered at Pervert(Nielsen).

Saying whatever they want, huh. As expected of dokyun. They don’t even hesitate to hit people.

“But yanno, even though I was so lookin’ forward to that Evil God that scared Hidler…”

“Indeed. Their mana is too feeble. I cannot imagine them to be strong.”

“Suzaku, you see how much mana they have?”

“Let me see. The mana welling up from her is roughly 300. Even if we suppose that she could increase it, I would have to say 5,000 at best.”

“5,000 you say? My belly will not even feel it. Cursed Hidler! Sending us here for a thing of this level!”

“Evil God-, wait, no, you’re just a normal human, yeah? You sure had bad luck, huh. We’re in a terrible mood right now. You’re in for a rough time.”

“Please don’t expect an easy death. We’re going to have some fun.”

The dokyun gave ferocious smiles as they approached.

“Talking it out――seems impossible now, huh…”

“What? You already desire to capitulate? How dull. It seems that you will not last much of our fun.”

“Yeah. Now that it’s come to this, guess we gotta play with Camilla instead.”

Wha-!? They’re going to lay their hands on not just me, but Timu as well? Timu is still only fourteen, you know. Wait, but in this world without regulations, I guess you can do it as much as you want. This isn’t just some joke anymore. It’s a crime!

“You know, I’ve always wanted to eat that Camilla chick.”

The dokyun gave vulgar guffaws. They’re even going to lay their hands on a child like Timu. No wonder Hidler expelled them. They’re complete scumbags.

“I’m not going to forgive you guys.”

“Huh? We’re in a bad mood right now. You forget that!?”

“Aah~ Is that so. I’m also in a reallly bad mood. Seems like we’ll get along.”

“Human, do not presume that you will die a simple death after slighting us!”

“Yes. You really need to learn your place.”

“I should be saying that about you guys. Don’t get so ahead of yourselves just because you made Loser(Bizef) faint.”

My provocation met with the dokyun’s bloodlust, and the atmosphere turned critical.

“”You’re going to die!””

That shout from both sides served as the signal that raised the curtains on my battle with the Demonic Evil Three.

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<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter> 

I’ve decided to start translating 近衛 and 親衛隊 differently. The first is ‘Household Guard’, and each of the Six Demon Generals has one. The second is Shineitai, translated as ‘Praetorian Guard’, and is the term that people use for those idol otaku fan clubs. I have changed everything in previous chapters to match this chapter.

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Chapter 21 – “My companions are a dog and a loser. What do I do?”

The Demonic Evil Three attack!

Pervert(Nielsen)’s friend, Belnandes suddenly came with an emergency report. For some reason this guy gives the same scent as Pervert(Nielsen). Birds of a feather flock together, huh.

“Good work, Bel. And so, when will the dokyun be arriving?”

“Milady. I believe they will arrive at the Beruga plains within a few hours.”

“Got it. Timu, wait here, okay? Niel and I will ambush the dokyun.”

“Please wait, Oneesama. Meagre though my power may be, I will head to the frontlines as well.”

“No, Timu. It’s too dangerous to get close to the dokyun!”

“I understand that it is dangerous. However, I want to help you if only a little, Oneesama.”

Timu, what cute things you say! You’re going to pull my heartstrings!

But it really is dangerous. No matter how good Timu is with magic, she’s still just a fourteen year old child. If those dokyun spot a bishoujo like Timu, they’ll definitely make a pass at her. Unmistakably.
Well, having said that, I’m a bishoujo as well, so they’ll probably aim for me too. But I’m prepared. I’ll turn the tables on them. The plan is set. It’s dangerous, so I need to have Timu hide at the shop.

“Timu, I’m happy for your feelings. I know that you’re strong as well. But you know, it might sound harsh, but the dokyun are too much for you.”

“I understand your worries, Tilea-sama. We deeply understand their danger. However, I believe that makes Camilla-sama’s help all the more necessary.”

When I warned Timu, Pervert(Nielsen) cut in from the side.

Mm~mn, it’s true that Pervert(Nielsen) has a point as well. Pervert(Nielsen) and I are close combat types. It would help a lot to have a backline support type. Maybe I really should have Timu support us with long-range magic after all.

If Pervert(Nielsen) and I get done in, in the end Timu will have to face off with the dokyun anyway, right?

…Okay. Let’s go with that. I’ve decided!

Whether she fights with the dokyun, or runs away from the dokyun, the difference between whether or not we have backline support is huge. Timu runs fast, and if it comes to it, I can just tell her to escape. And if by some chance they go for Timu first, I’ll just bet my life to stop them. After that, I’ll just have Timu attack them with her elementary magic, but…

I wonder how that’ll go.

I’ve taken one of Timu’s magic bullets before. It hurt quite a bit. I think it’ll work pretty well on the dokyun as well, but…

If I remember correctly, Pervert(Nielsen) knows the dokyun, so maybe I’ll ask him.

“Niel, would Timu’s magic work on the dokyun?”

“Camilla-sama can use the strongest magic from ancient times. Were the enemy simply any strong warrior, there would be no problem. However, the enemy this time are the heaven-sent children of destruction, the Demonic Evil Three. My deepest apologies. I am unable to make a judgement.”

“Oneesama, please do not worry. I have powered up since last time. I will certainly not do something as foolish as holding you back, Oneesama.”

Timu ardently appealed to me. Right. If we sisters combine our power, we’ll make short work of them. Timu, I’ll be borrowing your strength.

“Thanks, Timu. I’m reluctant to do so, but I’ll be having you help out, okay? But if it gets dangerous, drop everything and run.”

“I will not do something such as deserting Oneesama and fleeing.”

“No. It’s an order. If you feel any danger, run away immediately. You’re more important to me than anything else, after all.”

“O-, Oneesama. S-, Such words are too good for me! To think that you thought so much of me… I, I… I am deeply moved.”

Timu became teary-eyed, and trembled with emotion. Geez, Timu. That much is obvious, isn’t it. I’m your older sister, after all.

“Niel, if the time comes, take Timu and escape. When push comes to shove, I’ll get the job done somehow.”

“Milady. However…”

“Niel, aren’t you Timu’s loyal servant! Follow my order. Or could it be that you don’t trust in me?”

“I would not think of such a thing.”

“Then I’ll be leaving it to you, okay?”

“Yes milady. I shall comply with certainty. Please leave Camilla-sama to me. I shall risk my life to protect her. Please wield your power as much as you desire, Tilea-sama.”

“Mn, leave it to me. I’ve got a plan after all.”

If it comes down to it, while I buy time, I’ll have Pervert(Nielsen) take Timu away. At the time, they can just call the rest of the townspeople. The people in this town are usually gentle, but when it comes down to it, there are plenty of them that are strong in fights. And there are all the people of Timu’s praetorian guard too, after all. We have quite the force in numbers.

Hu hu, we’ll gang up on them in huge numbers and beat the crap out of them! Damned dokyun, I won’t let you call it cowardly!

Well, that’s a last resort. As you’d expect, lynching them in huge numbers would make us the bad guys. First I’ll show them our power, and have a talk with them.
We are technically going to try talking it out first, and if we came in massive numbers, it would just spur them on. I’ll have everyone in the praetorian guard on standby near the shop.

“Niel, tell the praetorian guard to stand by near the shop.”

“Understood. Adding half-baked war potential would simply put the troops in danger, and is not a good idea. I approve of your plan on going with just an elite few, Tilea-sama.”

Mmn, that’s not actually what it is. You’re just here to make up the numbers you know. But well, I have no intention of telling Pervert(Nielsen) the truth and demotivating him.

“Well then, I have a little somewhere to visit, so I’ll be taking my leave. You two gather at the Beruga Plains.”

“Understood.”

“Yes, Milady!”

Alright. Next is to put Plan Number 2 into motion.

I headed to the guard station to call Loser(Bizef). He should be on duty today, so he should be in…

Arriving at the guard station, I searched for him.

“Excuuuse me. Is Bizef-san in?”

“Hey, Tilea-chan. What’s wrong?”

“Bizef-san, it’s what I mentioned the other day. The delinquents have come. Please help us.”‘

“Got it. Leave it to me. Mind showing me to where they are?”

Hearing my words, Loser(Bizef) cracked his knuckles. Looks like he’s pumped to give the delinquents a beating. I’m happy that he’s enthusiastic, but is he planning on going with just those cloth clothes? He’ll be done in.

“Wait, wait! Bizef-san, let’s go grab the armour from last time!”

“Ah-, r-, right. But I don’t think the armour will be necessary. Isn’t it fine to go without?”

“Bizef-san, you did promise to lend me armour, didn’t you?”

“G-, Got it. I got it. Guess it can’t be helped. Well then, follow me.”

Loser(Bizef) wasn’t eager to lend me the armour. While he was guiding me there, he mumbled in complaint.

It was probably the pride of having to put on armour just for a few delinquents, and more important than anything was that he didn’t want me to dirty his rare gear by wearing it.

After all, the things in Loser(Bizef)’s armour room were all sparkling clean. This is why I hate collectors. If you’re going to be like this, then buy three for “preserving”, “using” and “lending”!

Aah~ but I guess when it comes to rares, it really would be difficult to have three of them.

When we got to Loser(Bizef)’s house, I immediately borrowed the bracers and chainmail and equipped them.

Ooh~ I feel kind of like an adventurer now. I gave kicking, and waving my arm a try.

Haha, Evil God Dark Matter has arrived!

Feeling like my old self again, I started running about.

“Tilea-chan, Tilea-chan, don’t move around so much. You’ll scratch them. Aah~ you scraped the bracers against the wall. Stop! Stop!”

Loser(Bizef)’s expression changed, and he stopped me.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, I get how you feel, but these are supposed to be rares!

If it gets scratched from just this kind of movement, they’re fakes, you know. To begin with, are you trying to tell me not to move at all? No way. I’m going to run about as much as I want. I’ll go wild.

“Bizef-san, if I’m paying attention to the armour, I won’t be able to move.”

“Right. Then maybe just take off the armour already? Hey, hey, I’ll help you take it off.”

Saying that, Loser(Bizef) tried to take off my clothes. His hands approached my chest. Oi, oi, are you intending on touching my breasts?

“…If you don’t cut it out, I’ll get angry, you know.”

“A, haha. I-, I was just kidding, Tilea-chan. Anyway, shall we go!?”

Honestly, this damned Loser(Bizef). When it comes to weapons, the look on his face changes. He very nearly ended up sexually harassing me.

Pulling myself back together, I headed to the Beruga Plains with Loser(Bizef).

I wonder if Pervert(Nielsen) and Timu are already there.

Arriving at Beruga Plains, I looked about.

Oh! Pervert(Nielsen) was there.

Pervert(Nielsen) was standing on the plains, looking needlessly cool. Even though he’d make a fantastic picture with his dandyism if he would just keep his mouth shut like that…

“You’ve come, Niel. Where’s Timu?”

“Why if it isn’t Tilea-sama. Camilla-sama is already on standby in the thicket behind us.”

“Just as planned, huh?”

“Yes. All that remains is to wait for them to come.”

Alright, well then, the frontline and backline are both in position. If it devolves into a fight with the dokyun, I’ll have Timu fire magic bullets from the back.

“If I remember right, this person was… the new worker at your shop, right, Tilea-chan? Nice to meet you. I’m Bizef, a guard in this town.”

Saying that, Loser(Bizef) started a conversation with Pervert(Nielsen).

Aah, speaking of which, this is their first meeting isn’t it. Maybe I should introduce them to each other.

“Bize――”

“Human, do not speak so familiarly with me. And what’s more, what a tone to use with Tilea-sama. There should be limits to your disrespect. Before the battle, shall I offer you as sacrifice to the War God!”

“W-, What the hell! The one who suddenly got rude was you!”

Oi, oi, oi, don’t just suddenly start a fight. Loser(Bizef) and Pervert(Nielsen) were just about to explode. What the heck are you doing by suddenly causing a falling out? Even though our war potential was doubtful to begin with…

Honestly, why did Pervert(Nielsen) do something like――wait, hang on, that’s right. Pervert(Nielsen) was a chuunibyou who paid no attention to the time or place, and bit at everyone without care. He’s been behaving recently so I forgot, but Pervert(Nielsen) was a hardcore chuunibyou who suddenly attacked me on our first meeting. Leaving that chuunibyou incident aside for now, I’d better stop the fight, huh.

“Hang on, you two. Stop fighting.”

“Tilea-sama, why do you cover for this garbage?”

Nah, I mean, it’s true that this guy is a loser, but you don’t need to go as far as calling him garbage.

“Garbage, you say! Even if I look like this, I’m still Guard Captain of this town. Back when I was an adventurer, I was even knighted you know. Do you want me to throw you in jail for disrespect!”

Aaah~ Now Loser(Bizef) is getting heated up.

“Bizef-san, I’ll be troubled if you throw one of our staff in jail. I’ll apologise in his stead, so won’t you forgive him?”

“Tsk. I was a bit immature as well, huh. You. I’ll forgive you this once in deference to Tilea-chan. Watch how you speak next time!”

“Hu hu, it would affect my honour as the Camilla Unit’s Household Guard Captain if I allowed myself to be made this much a fool by some garbage. Tilea-sama, may I have permission to clean up?”

“Still saying that, bastard!”

Loser(Bizef) was indignant and tried to grab Pervert(Nielsen).

“Dahhhhhh! Niel, stop that already! Bizef-san, please wait a moment.”

I stopped it just as it very nearly turned into a fight, and called for Pervert(Nielsen) a little distance away from Loser(Bizef).

“Niel, come here.”

“Milady.”

“I’m not going to ask why you said that kind of thing. I already know your personality quite well, after all. But you know, it’ll trouble me if you get in the way of my strategy.”

Plan Number 2. The plan to borrow Loser(Bizef)’s authority as a guard would be ruined.

“O-, Of all things I was obstructing your strategies… M-, My deepest apologies. I had not even considered that that garbage could have been related to your battle plans.”

“It’s fine as long as you understand. Be careful next time, okay?”

“Yes milady! I shall not err a second time. And so, would it be permissible to hear the contents of the strategy so as to not obstruct you again?”

“Well, it’s just a little test. I wanted to see whether or not the Guard Captain’s strength would work on the dokyun.”

“I see. Measuring the war potential of the humans, is it? As expected of Tilea-sama. To think that you have already begun planning for the war with the humans.”

Huu~ Chuuni-esque as usual. It’s already getting tiresome to translate. For now, I’m fine as long as he doesn’t get in the way of the plan. I’ll just give him any old response.

“Well, basically.”

“However, I wonder if that garbage will be of any use. From what I can see, he does not appear strong enough to even face the Demonic Evil Three.”

Mu!? Pervert(Nielsen) hit where it hurt. That’s true. When it comes to Loser(Bizef), there’s plenty enough probability that the dokyun will scare him.

“Niel, I’ve suspected that as well. I thought of this as trying it out just in case it really did work.”

“So that is how it was. I shall abide by your will, Tilea-sama.”

“Tilea-chan, are you done talking?”

Timing it so that it was just when I was done talking with Pervert(Nielsen), Loser(Bizef) called out to me.

“Oi, garbage! Be as useful to Tilea-sama as garbage can be, before you die!”

“W-, What was that!”

Aah~ Damn Pervert(Nielsen) at it again. Picking a fight already. He didn’t understand what I told him at all. Can’t be helped. I’ll persuade Loser(Bizef) instead.

“Bizef-san, Bizef-san, please come here for a moment.”

This time I called out to Loser(Bizef).

“That man-! I endured because I was in front of you, Tilea-chan, but I can’t forgive him anymore!”

“Bizef-san, I’ll say it as many times as you want, so please forgive him.”

“But you know, Tilea-chan…”

“Please listen, Bizef-san. That man is a very disappointing one. Truly, truly, disappointing… As an adult, please deal with him magnanimously.”

I told Loser(Bizef) about just what a disappointing and chuuni NEET he was. About how despite having no ability, he would bite at anybody without care like a mad dog.

“A-, A man like that actually exists?”

“He does. And even though he’s almost 60, he’s never worked a day in his life. You can understand the hardship and pain, right?”

It seems that even Loser(Bizef) was astounded. Obviously. But in my eyes, you’re quite a match for him.

“G-, Got it. There’s no way a guy like that knows how to behave as an adult. You’ve got your troubles too, huh, Tilea-chan.”

It seems that I somehow got him to understand. Honestly, I’m already exhausted before the fight with the dokyun. This is why chuunibyou are problems without end.

“Tilea-sama, have you finished speaking?”

“Yes, we came to an understanding.”

“By the way, there is something I would like to ask you, Tilea-sama.”

“Wha~at?”

“Milady. Why are you wearing such shabby equipment? Is this also part of the strategy?”

“What? You just said something I can’t overlook!”

This is bad. It’s a topic that touches Loser(Bizef)’s heartstrings. It feels like he’s going to fly into a rage again because somebody spoke badly of his collection.

“Garbage. Do not interrupt my conversation with Tilea-sama.”

“Hmph. Ignorance really is terrifying. I was a former adventurer, you know. What’s more, I was one of the ten youngest in history to be conferred a knighthood. You get it now? You don’t, do you. After all, I heard from Tilea-chan that you were incurably stupid. But if you get too ahead of yourself, I don’t mind teaching you.”

“Garbage, do not speak any further. Tilea-sama, may I have permission to learn the details of the strategy?”

“You seriously have no idea about the value of things, so I’ll teach you. The equipment that Tilea-chan is wearing right now are all rares. Even with a hundred gold coins, you wouldn’t be able to buy them, you know.”

Loser(Bizef) really hates people finding fault with his collection, huh. He’s insistently arguing with Pervert(Nielsen). It seems that Pervert(Nielsen) is completely set on ignoring him. At this rate, they’ll start fighting again.

“Niel, don’t ignore him and answer.”

“Yes, milady.”

Pervert(Nielsen) turned to Loser(Bizef).

It seems that he’ll listen to me. I wish Loser(Bizef) would learn his obedience.

“Garbage, what ‘rare’. Third-rate scrap like this wouldn’t be worn even by the lowest ranking soldiers in our unit.”

“Y-, You’ve sure said it now. Then what’s ‘rare’ to you, huh?”

“『The Spear of Rogo Logi』, 『Demonic Sword Exzaibur』, 『The Shield of Raigius』 for example, all splendid weapons. I have seen them only once, in the treasury in the Demon Capital.”

“Pfft-, HAH HAH HAH! I was wondering what you were going to say, but it was just ridiculousness. Aren’t they all legendary mythical weapons? Listing nothing but things we aren’t even sure exist. You have head issues!”

Whoa, whoa, Loser(Bizef). That’s quite right, but you’re being too blunt. Be a little more indirect about it. And you went too far. Even if he looks like this, Pervert(Nielsen) has things he’s completely earnest about too. He kept Timu company in her games quite a bit, after all.

“Bizef-san, you said too much. Please don’t make fun of my employees too much.”

“Haha, sorry, sorry. When it comes to weapons, I just get a bit too passionate…”

Was Loser(Bizef) also taken about by Pervert(Nielsen)’s crazy words? The anger from just now settled down. Haah~ I wonder if they’ve made up for now.

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<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter> 

Tekkou or knuckle weapons

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Chapter 20 – “It’s important to prepare before a battle, isn’t it.”

In order to prepare for the battle, I headed to the guard station where Loser(Bizef) was working.

Loser(Bizef) owes me because of the incident with Garm. As for why, it’s because during the Garm incident, I carried the unconscious Loser(Bizef) all the way back to the guard station. Well, I very nearly forgot about him and almost went home by myself though…

Honestly, even though he went on about how he would “Give Garm a warning!” in the end he wasn’t useful in the slightest. He was really nothing but baggage. I want him to show me that he can act like a former adventurer this time.

With those kind of slight hopes, I got quite close to the guard station when I suddenly heard some kind of argument.

――Mn!? What’s going on?

The people stationed were in a clamour. I decided to ask George-san, the one who took care of the documents here, about what was going on.

“George-san, did something happen?”

“Ah-, Tilea-chan. You came at the right time.”

“Heh? Did you need me for something?”

“Please say something to stop him as well, Tilea-chan. Bizef-san won’t listen to us, and keeps saying that there’s a dragon near town, and how he’s going to call for reinforcements from the capital.”

Hahh? Loser(Bizef), what the heck are you doing!

I’m sure I gave the other guards a rough explanation when I carried Loser(Bizef) into the station. It wasn’t a dragon, just a little puppy. Did Loser(Bizef) properly listen to the other people at the station?

Loser(Bizef) was trying to leave for the capital even now. With his travel gear on, and gallantly straddling his horse, he even looked like an adventurer… So disappointing.

Now that’s it’s come to this…

The other staff members were desperately trying to stop Loser(Bizef) from being rash. I could hear his conversation with the others.

“Bizef-san, please stop. The other men in town tried searching for it, but there wasn’t any dragon nearby like you said, you know.”

“Right, right. Around here we just get small animals at best.”

Everyone searched…?

Even though they had their work at the guard station, he spread completely nonsensical information. Thanks to Loser(Bizef), they all had a hard time.

“I already told you! That just meant it went somewhere. If we don’t hurry up and deal with it, there’s going to be victims throughout the country!”

“Move, you say… There weren’t any tracks, or any eyewitnesses either, you know.”

“Eyewitnesses? How many times have I told you already, I saw it myself!”

Loser(Bizef) yelled, almost mad. It seems that because Loser(Bizef) used to be an adventurer, the other staff members couldn’t strongly refute him.

“Bizef-san has been like this the whole time… He isn’t listening to us at all.”

“It seems not.”

“We’re really troubled. If we call an emergency meeting in the capital and they find out it’s false information, what kind of punishment will they give our town?”

“I understand. Please leave it to me, George-san.”

George-san’s worries are spot-on. I can’t let the town be troubled because of Loser(Bizef). I’ll try explaining again.

Agitated, I circled around so I was right in front of Loser(Bizef).

“Bizef-san, please stop!”

“Tilea-chan, so you’ve come. I’m sorry. I didn’t believe you. That really was a dragon. Since it was a dragon and a dragon user, there’s no mistake that the demons have appeared. That’s why I fainted that time, because of the demon’s miasma. I have to hurry up and make an emergency announcement for the whole country!”

Huu… What demon miasma! What the heck is a former adventurer doing getting influenced by illusion magic?

“Biiizeeef-san, that was illusion magic.”

“Tilea-chan, I’m a former adventurer. Illusion magic wouldn’t work on me so easily. So I’m sure that was a real dragon. It’s definitely the demons.”

Ahh, geez. Loser(Bizef) is oddly self-confident out here in countryside. It’s because  he got pampered by everyone around him for being a former adventurer, after all. He’s completely filled with confidence right now that illusion magic definitely wouldn’t work on him. Honestly, even though he doesn’t have any real ability.

“That wasn’t a dragon. After all, didn’t we come home safely!”

“W-, Well yeah, but… W-, We just happened to be lucky.”

Oi, oi, getting targeted by a dragon and demon, and getting away? Just how lucky would we need to be!

Is Loser(Bizef) understanding that he’s not making any sense?

“If we were targeted by a demon, there’s no way we’d make it out alive, right? And even Timu and the others said that it wasn’t a dragon.”

“Eh-! Timu-chan went there too?”

“Yes. I told you earlier, didn’t I? That person was Timu’s playmate. After you fainted, Bizef-san, she brought along her pet dog and they played together.”

“T-, That can’t be… Really?”

“Really. I’m not lying.”

“Ha-, haha. T-, That’s weeeird. It looks like I’m getting rusty. To have illusion magic work on me, and even faint from it…”

Loser(Bizef) smiled wryly and scratched his head. His confused state definitely didn’t look like a former adventurer. You’re the Guard Captain in this town, okay? And now you’ve disturbed the peace of the town. Honestly, please get your act together.

I looked at Loser(Bizef) with a cold gaze. George-san and the other staff members were astounded as well.

“Ha ha ha. Sorry for the fuss, everyone. It seems that it was my misunderstanding.”

“Bizef-san, please make this the last time.”

“Even if you’re half asleep, you can’t go too far.”

“Really, really. Please don’t drink so early in the morning.”

The staff members criticised him one after another. Obviously. He had all the guard members go searching for a puppy after all. I’m sure they’re tired from searching all night. Especially tired after they found out that it was all pointless effort.

And so, after they finished complaining, everyone headed back to work, with expressions that seemed to say ‘Honestly…’.

Thank you for your work, everybody. I’ll bring everybody some refreshments sometime.

“Damn~ I wonder if I hurt my old wounds.”

Immediately, excuses. What ‘old wounds’!

Speaking frankly, jumping into excuses like that is the sign of being a loser.

“A-, And also, I wasn’t wearing magic resistance armour that time. That person who played the prank on you was definitely a famous adventurer. Mn, there’s no mistake.”

“Yea~h. I’m sure he was definitely a famous adventurer. Instead of subjugating monsters or performing research, he prioritised playing with Timu. What a hard worker.”

“Uu-!? I-, I’m sure that he was getting hints for his research by playing with children.”

Loser(Bizef) fired off one excuse after another.

At this rate, the success of Plan Number 2 is looking doubtful. I decided that it was better to switch to Plan Number 3 in my mind.

“T-, Tilea-chan. Don’t look at me so doubtfully. Aah, speaking of which, you carried me here when I fainted, didn’t you. Thanks.”

“That’s fiiiine. Please don’t mind such a small matter. More importantly, Los――I mean, Bizef-san, there’s a small favour I’d like to ask.”

“Tilea-chan, just now, didn’t you almost say something? It can’t be that it was ‘Loser’ wa――”

“Ahhh~ Geez, more importantly, please listen to me. In Timu’s playgroup there were these delinquents, and it seems that they’re coming here to start some trouble.”

“Really? We can’t let that go. Leave it to me. I’ll definitely protect you.”

“I’m honestly relying on you, okay? Also, please make sure to bring armour this time.”

“Armour-…? I don’t really think that I need armour just for delinquents.”

“Bizef-san, isn’t there a saying about not taking chances? What are you going to do if they use illusion magic again!”

“G-, Got it. I think you’re exaggerating though.”

“Also, I have one more favour to ask. Please lend me armour as well.”

“Eh-, Tilea-chan, you don’t need armour, you know. I’ll be there after all.”

“Le, nd, some, to, me, please.”

After talking with him, I’m sure now. I can’t rely on Loser(Bizef) any more. It would be safer to go in with the mentality that I’ll need to fight, myself. So I need him to lend me armour no matter what.

“G-, Guess it can’t be helped, huh. I owe you after all, so I’ll give you a chance to try wearing armour.”

Loser(Bizef) reluctantly agreed, so I had him guide me to his house before he changed his mind.

Since Loser(Bizef) was a former adventurer if nothing else, he had lots of different weapons and armours. And they were being stored in his house’s storehouse.

I entered the storehouse while listening to his bragging and,

“A-, Amazing. You have so much.”

I was shocked…

In the storehouse were things from swords, spears, axes to armours, helmets, all sorts of things decorating the room. And they were all differently coloured too, as well as differently modelled. And there were even things like mannequins standing dignified.

Whoa, isn’t this a full set of plate armour? Rather than having stuff because he’s an adventurer, isn’t this guy just a weapon fanatic?

These items are completely beyond just the level of a hobby. Even though it would’ve been great if he just opened a weapon store instead of working as Guard Captain…

“Hu hu, are you surprised, Tilea-chan? They’re all things from my days as an adventurer, and I just couldn’t part with them, you see. Before I knew it, I had this many.”

Yeah, I’m surprised. Quite the collector. I’m sure he ignored adventures in favour of going shopping for all of this.

Well, it helped out this time though. I guess your equipment makes a huge difference in battle after all. I’m just a normal person. There’s no choice but to cover for my lack in stats with my equipment.

Alright. Since I’m doing it anyway, let’s try and borrow something as expensive as possible!

Mm~mm, which should I pick?

Ah-!? I think I might have found something good…

There were stands in the back of the room, and on them were some items displayed in cases. They looked precious, placed inside the polished glass cases, and were completely different from the rest of the things in the room. I can smell rares.

“Well then, Bizef-san, please lend these 『bracers』 and this 『chain mail』 to me.”

“T-, That’s a little much. Both the 『Bracers of Regius』 and the 『Chain Mail of Magimades』 are rares.”

“So they really were rares. Then I’ll go with these. Please lend them to me.”

“T-, Tilea-chan, these are for admiring, and not really for actual use.”

So Loser(Bizef) really was a collector. What the heck do you mean ‘for admiring’. Weapons are made to be used. If you use them and they get a little dirty, that just makes them more valuable.

“Bizef-san, didn’t you say that I wouldn’t need to fight? In that case, I won’t be actually using them, so please lend them to me.”

“B-, But I’ll be troubled if they get dirty, so…”

“S-, So cruel… Are you saying that I’m dirty!”

I appealed to Loser(Bizef) with teary eyes. With such intensity that I was basically implying ‘saying indelicate things to a girl will get you hated’.

“G-, Got it. You won’t actually be fighting after all, so I’ll lend them to you.”

“Thank you very much.”

Yes! Best gear GET!

Huhu, with this I can feel a little more relaxed.

“Honestly, I really can’t win against you, Tilea-chan. To put on rare gear for just a few delinquents.”

“Then if I wear this, will I be immune to the delinquents’ attacks?”

“Completely, completely. Rather, if the delinquents attack, it’ll be them that gets hurt.”

“That’s amazing.”

If Loser(Bizef) is telling the truth, then even if the dokyun attack me, there’s nothing to be afraid of at all. The chance of victory has definitely incre――hang on a moment.

My defence has increased, but what about my offence?

I had a look to see if there was anything else rare.

Mn!? There’s something that seems to be good over there.

I discovered a knuckle weapon that was clearly being treated preciously, placed inside a case. There were two layers of glass, and it was beautifully wrapped in cloth. From this, I could tell that it was pretty valuable.

“Bizef-san, while we’re at it, please lend me these 『knuckles』 as well.”

“T-, Tilea-chan, we aren’t going on an adventure. Even if it’s you, Tilea-chan, if you put that on and hit somebody, they’ll die, you know.”

“Ehh-!? Even with my strength!?”

“Mn, those knuckles are a magic tool called the 『Knuckles of Burst Earth』. It adds to your strength, as well as adding the power of magic to your attack. So no matter how weak you are, Tilea, the power of the magic itself is quite strong, so it’ll have quite the attack power.”

“How much attack power?”

“Hmmm, let’s see. If you put those on, even you, Tilea-chan, would probably be able to kill a small magic beast.”

“It’s that amazing a weapon!?”

“Mn, it’s a precious weapon that enters even in the top three of all the weapons I own. In order to buy this, I had to use all the money I had saved at the time, you see.”

“Haha, I can tell that it’s amazing just hearing that. It’s true that if I use this weapon, I’ll knock out delinquents in one hit, maybe even kill them, huh.”

“That’s right. Well, I’ll lend you the armour, so I’ll take care of that dangerous weapon, okay?”

I suppose it can’t be helped. No thank you, to being a murderer. But I’ll have Loser(Bizef) equip the knuckles instead. I really can’t feel at ease unless Loser(Bizef) comes with the strongest equipment.

“Well then, once the delinquents come I’ll call you, so please help me with the rest.”

“Yeah, leave it to me.”

After making an arrangement with Loser(Bizef), I returned to the shop.

For now, although I’m still somewhat anxious, the preparations are ready for Plan Number 2. I’ll begin on the finishing touches for Plan Number 3.

First, with the armour that Loser(Bizef) lent me, my defence alone has increased. With this, the attacks from the dokyun shouldn’t work on me.

Then what about my offence?

Loser(Bizef)’s weapons really were too powerful and would be quite liable to kill somebody, so I couldn’t borrow them. Or rather, it might be different for armour, but weapons need a degree of skill to handle. No matter which weapon I chose, I wouldn’t have been able to use it properly.

And of course not. I’m not an adventurer. I’m just a mere cook!

――It can’t be helped. I suppose I have no choice but to unseal my dark history.

Now is the time to undo the seal.

I looked for two suitable metal poles in the shop storehouse, and tied them together with a cord of suitable length. Indeed. The so-called “nunchaku”.

In my past life when I was a hikikomori NEET, there was a time when I was mad about nunchaku. I didn’t go to school, nor to work, and did nothing but wholeheartedly train with my mail-order nunchaku. While watching Bruse Li’s nunchaku course, I single-mindedly endeavoured in my “HACHAA!” “OCHAAA!” training.

Heh. I’m sure this world has never seen such techniques before. There’s no doubt that even those dokyun will get cold feet. If they mistake me for a famous martial artist, even better.

…They’ve, probably never seen nunchaku, right?

Maybe I should test it. I decided to call in Pervert(Nielsen) to show him a demonstration.

“Tilea-sama, I have arrived at your call.”

“Oneesama, what is it that you are doing?”

Ah-, not just Pervert(Nielsen), but Timu too? It’s my dark history, so I’d prefer the smallest gallery possible, but…
Well, whatever. There’s no way I can drive out my beloved sister.

“Niel, Timu. Watch. I want you to give me your impressions on the techniques I’m about to use.”

“Yes milady.”

“Understood.”

Alright. Recall them. Bruse-san’s nunchaku techniques!

The memories of my old life came to mind.

And then…

“Fuooooooh, hai! Hai! Hai! Hai! Fuo! HACHAA! OCHAA!”

Thank goodness. I didn’t forget my old memories. I managed to flourish the nunchaku the way I envisioned.

Downwards swing. Side strike. Right armpit stance. Right diagonal swing. I chained techniques one by one. The image in my head was a scene from “Enter! Dragon!”.

“M-, Magnificent, Oneesama! What is this technique called?”

“K-, Killer Nunchaku.”

Ah-, crap-… I accidentally blurted the chuuni-esque name that I gave it in my old life.

“I am filled with deep emotion at being able to witness such a grand technique, Tilea-sama! 『Killer Nunchaku』. Truly a martial art that unifies attack and defence.”

“I too, feel the same, Nielsen. I am truly moved. And, Oneesama, how many opponents did you defeat with this 『Killer Nunchaku』?”

“W-, Who knows… Just how many, I wonder.”

“As expected of Oneesama. To think that you had slain too many opponents to count with that 『Killer Nunchaku』.”

“『Killer Nunchaku』. I have never witnessed such an amazing technique before. For creating such a skill, I once again express my deep respect for Tilea-sama.”

S-, Stop it. Please don’t say that name any more. It feels each time you use that name, my spirit is being gouged

And so, my spirit was worn down as I spoke with Timu and Pervert(Nielsen) for a while, but I managed to understand that apparently these nunchaku techniques were unknown in this world. It was Pervert(Nielsen)’s impression though, so I can’t really say I have much confidence in myself.

But for now, the preparations are ready.

Come whenever you like, Demonic Evil Three!

---

I don’t think it’s possible, but just in case it was lost on anyone, “Enter! Dragon!” is a parody of “Enter the Dragon!” and Bruse Li is a parody of Bruce Lee

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<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter> 

Chapter 19 – Heaven-Sent Children of Destruction, the Evil Demonic Three

It was a room in the castle of the Demon King Army. Hidler, Poe and Luxembourg had begun the ceremony for unsealing the Evil Demonic Three.

“Poe, Luxembourg, concentrate your mana!”

“”Yessir!””

The incredible mana of the Demon King Army caused the room to be filled with thick miasma. The mana that was already filled to the brim was added to by Hidler himself.

The seal placed by Demon King Zorg was a powerful prison unable to be unsealed even with a team of famous experts. It wasn’t something the average expert could easily meddle with. Even if they did try to meddle with it, they would likely be sucked into the prison, soul and all. But with extraordinary monsters like Hidler pouring their mana in with all their strength, would the result still be the same…?

“Mnmuuu!”

“Hahhhh!”

“Nuohhh!”

With their three roars, the space began to oscillate. The dense miasma condensed further, and was noxious enough to be sinister.

“The time is now. By my name Hidler, I command you to release them!”

Hidler’s powerful and overpowering voice resounded through the room, before a pale blue flame appeared and enveloped the magic circle.

――――PISHI! GASHAN!
Cracks appeared in space, and from it descended three monsters. They had been released from Demon King Zorg’s seal.

“It has been a while, has it not. Seiryuu, Byakko, Suzaku.”

“Genbu… No, it was Hidler now, wasn’t it. Are you the one who released us from the seal?”

The man who spoke had sharp fangs and large blue wings that seemed to cover his body, and was a demon dragonoid named Seiryuu. Before the great war of old, he was famed as the Demonic Dragon King who led his 72 armies to eliminate many races.

“Honestly, Zorg-sama sure is intolerant, to seal us like that,”

Complaining was a 3 metre tall white tier, the demon beastman Byakko. Possessing another name, Demonic Beast King, he was a tyrannical being whose single roar was enough to instantly obliterate a small town.

“We have been sealed for a few thousands years, haven’t we. Zorg-sama is so cruel. I thought I would go mad from the hunger and boredom.”

Unlike her polite manner of speech, her true nature was brutal. Looking like a mix of a person and flame was the hellfire demon, Suzaku. She had reigned as a queen who manipulated flames and turned all to ash.

“Enough. I shall not allow further disrespect towards Zorg-sama. I shall now speak of the reason I unsealed you.”

“Hang on a little, Hidler. We just got released from the seal after thousands of years, you know. I’m starving.”

“Indeed. My belly is empty.”

“I feel hungry.”

Their three bellies grumbled in hunger, as they drooled. It seems they were starving. Eyes sparkling, they looked for prey.

“If you want food, then I shall prepare you some.”

“Haven’t you already prepared some!”

“What? Mu!?”

“Heh. Be still for a little!”

The azure dragon blade that he materialised was being held by Hidler’s neck. Seiryuu’s prided sword was able to cut up even dragons like tofu. It even pierced through Hidler’s armour, and had slightly cut into his skin.

“Please stay still for a while.”

Suzaku then bound the immobile Hidler in countless chains of flame. It was a technique that only she could use, and the surface of the chains were over a thousand degrees. A normal person bound by them would probably just dry up. What’s more, the strength of the chains was strong enough that even a hundred demons couldn’t break them.

“Ununu! You!”

Hidler mustered up his mana, but despite his will, the cursed bindings wouldn’t be so easily undone. Also, the more he struggled, the more tightly the chains cut into his body. You could see from this how nasty the strength of Suzaku’s mana was.

“””Well then, let’s eat!”””

And so, with Hidler the hindrance bound and immobile, the Demonic Evil Three began attacking the exhausted Demon King Army.

“Eh!? You guys――W-, What are you doing? Didn’t we undo the seal for you!”

“BASTAAAAARDS!”

Luxembourg and Poe screamed with expressions of shock. Perhaps they hadn’t ever imagined that the people they just saved would suddenly return kindness with cruelty, because the two Demon Generals were struck with a sudden attack.

“Heh heh heh, the first food in millenia.”

With a single slash, Seiryuu’s Azure Dragon Blade cut into Poe’s chest. It’s sharpness was outstanding. Poe’s tough skin was easily wounded, and fresh blood spurted.

“Guhu- Y-, You――”

“Ku ku. Pretty hard, arentcha!”

Seiryuu spoke while happily licking Poe’s blood. Even though he had attacked with enough power to split a demon in two, Poe had merely been wounded. Seiryuu smirked as though having found lively prey.

“AHAHAHAHHAAHA! You look delicious, Kitty!”

Suzaku created dozens of fireballs in an instant, and fired them towards Luxembourg. Each one of the fireballs was a scorching hot magic bullet of a thousand degrees. A normal person would vaporise on the spot if hit by one, and no matter how much of a monster one of the Six Demon Generals might have been, it was impossible for them to escape unscathed after being hit by them again and again.

“Hahh, hahh――T-, This isn’t a joke. S-, Somebody, it’s a state of emergency!”

Luxembourg made use of her natural burst strength and evaded the flames left and right. As a demonic beastman, she had more burst power than other species, and reigned top even amongst her own. Even when Suzaku fired countless fire bullets, she somehow managed to avoid them.

“GAHAHAHA! Darting around, huh, you tricky little cat!”

“GAAAAAH!”

While watching Suzaku and Luxembourg’s attack and defence, Byakko suddenly roared.

And in the next moment――

A number of swirling vortexes of pressure assaulted Luxembourg.

“Gahah-!”

Swallowed into one of the vortexes, Luxembourg was thrown against a wall. No matter how excellent her burst power was, it seems that while she was concentrated on Suzaku, she hadn’t paid attention to Byakko. She was struck by his attack head-on.

“Captain Poe, what is the matter?”

Hearing the screams of the Demon King Army, other troops had gathered. They had been forbidden by Hidler to come in, but hearing the many angry shouts and the sounds of impact, they couldn’t resist and came in. Worried for Poe and Luxembourg, they flew into the room one by one.

“Aha♪ Dinner has arrived.”

Suzaku happily created fireballs, and rained them upon the troops. The very moment that they entered the room, they were attacked by Suzaku’s magic bullets at ferocious speeds. The troops were burnt to death, one after another.

“G-, GYAHHH!”

“Higi――S-, Save me!”

Suzaku restrained the heat of her magic bullets as she fired. The troops were going to be their food, so she couldn’t very well turn them to ash, after all. The Demonic Evil Three began to eat the demons that had been cooked well.

“This one was a birdman. Yakitori. Yummy, yummy.”

“H-, How dare you do that to Bard!”

Drag roared, filled with rage for his dead companion. He was one of Poe’s household guards, and had the most physical strength after Poe. In the war of old, he had distinguished himself many times as Poe’s right hand man. That pride and conceit spurred him on. He attacked Byakko with his prided arms.

“W-, Wait, Drag!”

Even Poe himself had been no match for them. Drag’s strength was no threat to them. Unwilling to allow his important subordinate die a needless death, Poe frantically tried to stop him, but…

“This one is worth eating.”

Byakko crunched down on Drag’s attacking arm with ferocious fangs. The powerful arms that had killed a great many enemies in the war of old had been bitten off by Byakko.

“GUAHHH!”

Byakko then grabbed Drag’s head, and struck his fist towards Drag’s temple. The incredible impact broke his skull, and Drag fell to the ground, convulsing.

“Ku ku ku. Nothing but a good build.”

“Nununu!”

Byakko tore apart the fallen Drag and began feasting. Poe was filled with rage for the killing of his precious subordinate, but because he himself had been cut countless times by Seiryuu, he wasn’t able to move.

“HA HA HA HA! This is freaking delish!”

“Indeed. So famished that I could not wait.”

“It would be nicer if there was some salt.”

Those who were killed first, and then those who were killed as well while trying to avenge them. Even those who scrambled to run were killed… It was a hell of corpses.

“Hii. H-, How can you eat your own comrades in the Demon King Army!”

“S-, So this is the strength of the legendary Demonic Evil Three!”

Unrest spread through the Demon King Army as their companions were killed and eaten one after another. The troops’ eyes were filled with hatred for having their comrades or subordinates killed. And giving these troops a sideward glance were Seiryuu, Byakko, and Suzaku, but their feast wouldn’t end. They followed their instincts, and continued to eat the demons.

“BASTAAARDS! I, Hidler, shall not forgive further outrages!”

Having escaped the cursed flame chains, Hidler rushed towards the three. His eyes glinted sharply, and it felt like he would tear them to pieces any moment.

“Hidler, pretty fast aintcha. Seems like you’ve gotten stronger than before, ey.”

“Truly. I thought my cursed chains would last a few hours longer.”

“You lot, this is a warning. If you will not stop no matter what, I shall tear off my 『armour』 and show you my true ability. Know that our old friendship as the Four Heavenly Kings only goes this far!”

“Got it, got it. Don’t be so mad, Hidler. Suzaku, Byakko, let’s stop here. It’ll be annoying if Hidler seriously gets angry.”

“Understood. I had plenty just now. Ah-, but I really wanted to eat that kitty.”

“Tsk. Still a little hungry.”

The Demonic Evil Three reluctantly stopped their meal, and lent an ear to Hidler. Hidler seemed to still want to complain, but he couldn’t start any more quarrels, so he began to speak.

“…The reason you three have been unsealed is but one. In order to battle the Evil God.”

“Evil God? The heck is that? They strong enough to warrant unsealing us?”

“Evil God Tilea. This Evil God killed two of the Demon Generals, Kira and Garm.”

“Hahh~ The heck? I could tell from the battle just now. The quality of the Demon King Army has fallen.”

“Indeed. I wonder how many minutes the Evil God will last against us.”

“Huhu, I want to know how the Evil God tastes.”

The time of the Demonic Evil Three’s attack was approaching.

---

<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter> 

A circle (サークル；saakuru) in Japan is a term for a common-interest club.

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Chapter 18 – The Demonic Evil Three are coming to pick a fight

“Tilea-sama! Tilea-sama!”

I heard Pervert(Nielsen)’s loud shouts, early in the morning. As for me, I was in the restaurant kitchen, sighing as I looked at the pot that was boiling over.

“So this is where you were, Tilea-sama. There is grave news! The Demonic Evil Three are――”

“Not, ‘grave news’ damnittttt!”

No sooner had Pervert(Nielsen) come had I grabbed his face in one hand. And as though it were an iron claw, I began conspicuously squeezing his face with my hand.

“GUOHHHH! A-, As expect of Tilea-sama… Y-, Your great strength is in good heal, th.”

Despite suffering, Pervert(Nielsen) skilfully praised me.

Hahh~ Honestly, this guy is…

I had instructed Pervert(Nielsen) to “stop the fire when the pot boils”; something that even children in primary school would know. But apparently this idiot had left the pot alone and run off somewhere.
What “Grave news, Tilea-sama!”. I don’t care if it’s Demonic Evils, or Ebonic Weevils, but the shop is more important!

What should I do for today’s training?

And I need to open to the store in about an hour too…

I won’t make it if I need to make the stock from scratch again. Should I just throw Pervert(Nielsen) into the pot and make Pervert(Nielsen) stock?

I’m so angry that it feels like I’ll destroy Pervert(Nielsen). I’ll beat Pervert(Nielsen)’s head in, and then… No good, no good. What kind of crazy things am I thinking about now. I have to hurry up and chant the magic spell!

Pervert(Nielsen) is a chuunibyou so it cannot be helped. Pervert(Nielsen) is a chuunibyou so it cannot be helped.――It cannot be helped.

……
…………
………………

Alright, I’ve somehow got my anger under control.

Phew, can’t be helped. I’ll explain to dad, and explain to the customers that we’ll be opening a little late. I’m cleaning up after Pervert(Nielsen) again. Honestly, I can’t even leave you to watch the pot, can I!

I’ve pretty much run out of anything I think I can entrust to him. I glared at him, saying “Honestly…” with my eyes. Pervert(Nielsen) seemed to have something he wanted to say as well.

He was looking at me with sad eyes like an abandoned puppy desperately appealing to his owner.

…Guess it can’t be helped. Although the possibility is infinitely close to zero, there might really be something terrible happening. I guess I’ll give him a chance to explain why he was ditching work.

“Well? What’s this grave news? I expect that it’s something urgent enough that you neglected your work, yes?”

“Yes Milady. I deserve ten thousand deaths for running counter to your commands. However, it was a problem that required emergency measures. Although it was presumptuous of me, I gave my judgement priority and left the shop to confirm the intelligence.”

Hahh? Is this guy trying to use Sun Tzu’s “A general on the field shall not obey his sovereign.” or something? Are you trying to use that convenient interpretation to continue to skip work!

The anger that I had kept down exploded outwards again.

No, wait. Wait. Maybe I should just listen to the end first. I need to let him finish reciting his death haiku, after all.

“Well then, specifically speaking, what is this problem that required emergency measures?”

“Milady. It seems that Hidler unsealed the Demonic Evil Three. It is likely that they will attack in the near future.”

Goodness. Somebody is coming to complain to Timu yet again…?

Just the other day was Garm, and this time it’s the Demonic Evil Three? And yet again, quite a chuuni-esque name. Honestly, even though I had thought we’d basically solved the problem with Garm’s incident…

But, it can’t be helped. There’s no way to deal with claimants except to talk to them one by one. You might even be able to clear up their feelings of ill reserve by talking to them. Even that Garm guy started off with pranks, but it seems that they made up in the end.

Gyangu, was it?

Apparently Timu was given Garm’s pet. As a symbol of apology, I suppose. If he even gave his beloved dog away, I wonder just how close they’ve gotten.

The Demonic Evil Three…

So it’s three people this time? I wonder what kind of people they are?

“Niel. What kind of people are those Demonic Evil Three?”

“They are group with cruel and ferocious natures. Because they were so lawless, Demon King Zorg sealed them away himself.”

“Can I take that to mean that they did nothing but outrageous things and were expelled from the Demon King Army?”

“Indeed. Only, they were not expelled, but sealed.”

“Yes, yes, sealed was it? So why did this sealed group suddenly come back?”

“Starting with Camilla-sama’s secession from the Demon King Army, they then lost Killer, and then Garm. The Demon King Army was continuing in a weakening direction. It was likely an act of desperation on Hidler’s part.”

EH!? Killer-san and Garm quit as well!?

Ahh~ But after all these troubles happened, I guess they didn’t feel too good about it either. Although they made up with Timu, they might have gotten tired of dealing with other people. To begin with, people who quit a circle always do so with this kind of timing.

I see. When Timu left the Demon King Army, all of Timu’s praetorian guard quit together, so the “Let’s pretend to be the Demon King Army” gathering lost a lot of people.

Then Killer-san, and even Garm quit as well, so the gathering was on the verge of being called off. At that point, Hidler-san reluctantly decided to call back the expelled members I guess. But if that gentle Hidler-san ‘sealed them’ by the name of the Demon King, in other words, expelled them from the circle, then they must’ve done something pretty bad.

I wonder what on earth they did.

An image is coming to mind…

『Yo, yo, we’re the fearsome Demonic Evil Three. -PARARIKOPARARIKO-』

『Mama, there are some strange people.』

『Miya-chan, you mustn’t look at them!』

『Geez~ What’s with those guys? They’ll wake up the babies!』

『There are houses around. Don’t kick up so much dust. You’ll get the laundry dirty!』

『Demonic Evil Three; you’ll cause trouble to other people. Please act with prudence.』

『Heh! Get with the act, Hidler! We’re the atrocious Demon King Army, yanno.』

『Yeah, yeah! Let’s go even faster! We’ll touch the skies!
-VROOM VROOM-』

Probably something like that. I think I have a pretty good idea for now.

――So they exist in this world as well! No, of course they do. Those type of people pop up no matter where you go. A bunch that lack common sense and just cause trouble to society…

The Demonic Evil three are delinquents; the so-called ‘DQN'(dokyun).

“In other words, they’re dokyun.”

“Oneesama, what is this ‘dokyun’?”

Oh! At some point Timu joined our conversation as well. Good timing. Since she’s a related party, I’ll explain dokyun to Timu as well.

“You see, in my past life, ‘dokyun’ is what we called lawless scum.”

“A perfect fit for the Demonic Evil Three, isn’t it.”

“Yep. These troublesome kids existed in my past life as well, and we really didn’t know what to do with them. Honestly, they popped up everywhere.”

“T-, There were that many of these powerful beings in your old world!?”

Pervert(Nielsen) asked in shock. You don’t have to be that surprised. They’re people that pop up in every world, right?

“Yeah, heaps and heaps. There were so many that they popped up absolutely everywhere.”

“As expected of Oneesama! To have battled each day with such powerful beings!”

“Indeed. I am always amazed and in admiration of Tilea-sama’s mighty strength.”

Honestly, they were so troublesome. Late at night they’d loiter in huge numbers around the convenience store. In the middle of the night they’d ride past with their thunderous modified motorbikes. And they’d beat and kick and mug anybody they had an eye on.

Just now much of my Dark Matter funds were lost because of dokyun!

The unpleasant memories from my old life came to mind.

I see. In that case, it is as grave a matter as Nielsen said. There’s a need to make sure of it even at the cost of work. So even Pervert(Nielsen) can be useful on occasion.

“It certainly was a grave matter. Niel, well done in reporting it to me.”

“I am extremely and humbly delighted for your honourable understanding.”

A group of dokyun are coming to complain about Timu’s withdrawal. No, their aim is probably something else. I’m sure that once they found out that Timu was a bishoujo, their real intention was to come start some trouble with her.

That’s definitely it. You dokyun bastards, I won’t let you lay a single finger on my cute sister!

I need a plan, don’t I. First, I can’t let mum and dad be troubled, so I want to deal with this before it affects the store.

Plan Number 1. Rely on Remilia-san.

Remilia-san is an S-ranked adventurer, as well as the a member of the national public safety force. Honestly speaking, one or two dokyun would be a piece of cake to Remilia-san.
But the main problem with this plan was whether or not the public safety force would even bother with such a small incident. Honestly speaking, it’s probably impossible. If it was a huge incident that affected the country then it would be another matter, but they wouldn’t even listen to an issue about delinquents coming to complain. At best, they would tell me to “go have a talk with your town guards”.

Plan Number 2. Rely on Loser(Bizef).

In my mind, Loser(Bizef)’s stock is on a nose-dive. But Loser(Bizef) is a former adventurer. He’s like the police in this town. Leaving his actual strength aside, his authority is splendid. If he told the dokyun who he was and threatened them with “I’ll arrest you!”, the dokyun might become obedient. But Bizef is a loser. If he fainted before he gave them a warning, it would be completely meaningless.

…No, no. It’s fine, it’ll be fine. Even though it was just an illusion, he still fainted because it was a dragon. He wouldn’t faint to a bunch of delinquents; a bunch of dokyun, right?
Probably. I really want to believe so.

Plan Number 3. Talk it out with the dokyun.

Well, it’d be a frontal approach, huh. Pervert(Nielsen) and I would confront them and negotiate. But a sincere and earnest attitude wouldn’t work on them. On the contrary, showing them that kind of attitude would just get us taken advantage of. We need to show our power while we negotiate. Right. While negotiating, we need to make them think ‘These guys are trouble. We’ll be in for a painful time. I don’t want to get involved with them anymore.’.

In the end, Plan Number 1 is impossible to carry out. We’ll go with Plan Number 2. If that fails, then I guess we’ll go with Plan Number 3. Also, I guess the last thing I need to know is how strong they are? Well, they wouldn’t be as strong as an adventurer, but they definitely have as much strength as the delinquents in our town.

Our war power consists of me, Pervert(Nielsen), Loser(Bizef), and Timu.

First of all, “me”…

I’ve been training my body through cooking ever since I was young. I think that I’d be above average in a one-on-one fight with the town delinquents. Only, I don’t think I’d have much confidence if there was more than one. I mean, my specs are still that of a 17 year old girl.

Next is “Pervert(Nielsen)”…

His enthusiasm is always great, but his strength is on the level of a primary schooler. I’m sure he’ll be taken down in one hit by a dokyun. Since his appearance is that of a dandy old gentleman, I really can’t help but feel regret. Anyway, he can’t be counted on in a fight, in other words. He’s just here to make us look bigger.

Next is Loser(Bizef)…

Recently I found out that he was a joke adventurer. His only redeeming feature is that he was a C-ranked adventurer, and his current position as the chief of the town guard. It would be perfect if the dokyun were scared by his title. But if they’re the type that go “The cops ain’t nothin’!” and act cool, then it’d have the opposite effect. And what’s more, if they found out how weak Loser(Bizef) actually was, then the dokyun would get cockier and cockier. He really wouldn’t be helpful.

Finally, “Timu”…

She can use magic, and she’s pretty fast on her feet too. Among our group, she seems like she’d be the most useful. If we had her hide in the back, then she could fire off magic as a distraction when the time comes.
But I don’t want her to be in danger. I guess it really would be best to have her stay at home, while I go with just Pervert(Nielsen) and Loser(Bizef).

Huhu, what’s with this? Just thinking about it makes me want to cry. Aren’t I the most reliable one right now?

---

“A general on the field shall not obey his sovereign.”
Basically a saying that states that in a war, the general onsite should be the one who makes the decisions, as the monarch in the capital has already entrusted said general with the task. Accredited to Sun Tzu.

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<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter> 

There’s this term called ‘haki(覇気)’ that you might have heard before if you’re a One Piece fan. Normally I would translate it as like, force of will or presence something like that, but since this novel is pretty chuuni, it might even be used in attacks and stuff later, so I’m going to leave it transliterated as ‘haki’, the same way I might leave 闘気(fighting ki) as ‘touki’.

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Chapter 17 – “Illusion magic, how fearsome!”

An invasion by the Demon King Army!

When I got the report from Pervert(Nielsen), I immediately headed to the site. I sent Timu and the others a message to come later. For now, I want to tell them this myself: “Timu isn’t at fault. I’m the one who forced her to leave.”

This time, it seems the one that’s come to complain to Timu is called Garm. He’s apparently also one of the people in the Six Demon Generals. I guess it might really be to complain about Timu turning them into the Five Demon Generals.

Anyway, my duty is to soften Garm’s attitude to make it easier for Timu to apologise when she comes later.

Alright, for my beloved sister, it’s time to make full use of my skills in the hospitalities industry!

I ran happily out of Beruga Town, and past the bottom of Mt. Mishinga.

Umm~ According to Pervert(Nielsen), it should be around here, but…

I looked around. There was nothing in sight but thick forest and small animals. There wasn’t any sign of anybody else.

They aren’t here, are they.

It’s Pervert(Nielsen), so I shouldn’t trust the information too much. After I searching around for a while,

“Guu… Gkue… Gwrr… Fshrrr!”

――Mn!? I can hear some kind of beast!

When I turned around, a man riding a huge beast had appeared. The beast had tough green scales and giant wings.

T-, This is…

“Are you the Evil God? I’m one of the Six Demon Generals, Garm; I’ll be taking your life!”

“…”

“Mn, where are you looking? ――Hmph, is my mount that unusual? This is demonic dragon Gyangu; I’ll have you taste an attack from a man who’s become one with his dragon.”

“It-”

“”It” you say?”

……
…………
………………

“IT’S A DRAGONNNNNNNNNNNN!”

I bolted back along the path that I came from.

Eh? Eh? What? Eh? Why is there a dragon there?

When I went to have a conversation with them… of all things, there was the thing that appeared in games or novels; a western dragon.

E-, Even though he came to complain, he brought a dragon along?

No matter how you think about it, isn’t that overdoing things! Did you plan on killing Timu!

W-, W-, What do I do? What do I do? I have to do something! If he brings that along, the town’ll get blown to pieces!

T-, The guard? Nonono, unless they borrow a a rocket launcher from the JSDF――Wai-, B-, Bizef-saaan, SAVE MEEEEEEE!

I rushed into the only guard station in town.

“Bizef-san! Bizef-san! Bizef-saaan!”

“Why if it isn’t Tilea-chan. You don’t look too good. What’s wrong?”

“S-, Something outrageous has happened. I-, it’s a disaster. It’s a disaster!”

“Disaster?”

“Y-, Yes. S-, Somebody’s using a dragon to attack. They’re going to attack the town!”

“A dragon? …Pfft, HAHAHAHAHA!”

“Bizef-san, this isn’t a laughing matter. You have to hurry and tell everybody to evacuate!”

“Tilea-chan, calm down. Relax. There isn’t anybody in the modern age that can use a dragon.”

“Eh? Really?”

“Really. Even using a normal magic beast requires quite a lot of training. So using a divine beast like a dragon would need an outrageous amount of mana.”

“I-, I see.”

“To begin with, there aren’t any dragons in the world anymore.”

“Eh!? There aren’t any dragons in the world?”

“They apparently used to exist in ancient times, but they went extinct. In this age there are only small winged-drakes, or the dragonoids who inherited the blood of dragons.”

“Eh? Eh? B-, But I really did see a dragon… Eh?”

“It was probably a type of illusion magic.”

“Illusion magic?”

“Yeah, you can use illusion magic to confuse people. It’s likely that they used illusion magic on you to make you see a dog or cat as a dragon.”

“Really!?”

“Probably. When it comes to illusion magic, if there isn’t a gap in ability between the caster and the target, it won’t work. You aren’t even an adventurer; I think a normal girl like you would be the ideal target.”

Well certainly my magic resistance is probably zero. If they used illusion magic, it’d work on me in one go.

Shitt! Tricking me like this!

“Muuu, then I was completely fooled wasn’t I.”

“Huhu, seems so. But using illusion magic for a prank really is going too far. I’ll give them a warning. Tilea-chan, could you lead me to the person who cast it on you?”

“Understood.”

I ended up leading Bizef-san to the place from earlier.

Phew~ So thats how it was…

As expected of Bizer-san. He was a C-rank adventurer wasn’t he. It was precise advice. If it was just me, I would’ve been panicking.

But still, Garm-san is nasty, isn’t he. Even though he just came to voice his complaints, he ended up pulling a prank like that. He’s probably thinking “PUNKED!” right about now. After all, I gave such a splendid reaction, didn’t I. This is so frustrating!

Ah~ Hang on. The situation I’m in is like somebody being pranked on those prank shows, and then actually going and calling the police, huh. It’s not really being an adult about it, or rather, it’s not being able to read the atmosphere. If I bring Bizef-san there, I might be able to shock Garm-san back in return, but it wouldn’t be a joke.

“Umm~ Bizef-san, please don’t take this too seriously, okay? It was a nasty prank, but he is one of Timu’s playmates, so please don’t arrest him or anything.”

“I know. I’m just going to give him a warning. I’m not going to arrest him. But you know, using magic in this way is a problem. As somebody else who can use magic, I need to teach him manners, you know?”

“I understand.”

Mn, just a warning should be fine. Or rather, if he doesn’t do at least that much, I won’t be able to feel better about being tricked.

And so, after a few hours of guiding Bizef-san, I finally returned to the base of Mt. Mishinga.

Um~mm, it should be around here. Garm-san, are you still here?

As I was looking around,

“Kuu… Gkue… Gwau… Fshrrr!”

I heard the sound of a beast. It was the same as the growl from earlier. Could it be!

I turned around and… there it was!

Standing behind me was Garm-san riding on his dragon again, glaring my way.

But still, that overwhelming size and presence – I thought this before as well, but it really does seem like a dragon no matter how you look at it. Is this really just a simple chihuahua…?

“B-, Bizef-san, it’s your turn. Please give him a good warning!”

I moved my hand to poke Bizef-san in the shoulder.

-poke, poke, poke-

Huh? I’m not hitting anything?

I turned my head here and there――where did he go?

I looked left and right, but he wasn’t there.

Then, let’s try looking down next… There he was!

Lying on the ground. Mn…

――Wait, DON’T GO FAINTINGGGGG!

There lay a loser(Bizef-san), eyes rolled back, sprawled across the ground.

Eh? Why are you unconscious? Aren’t you a C-rank adventurer. In the past, didn’t you brag about beating some famous monster? Was that a lie? Was your C-rank just for show? Or could it be that you had illusion magic cast on you?

IF YOU’RE A FORMER ADVENTURER THEN DON’T GET SCARED FROM JUST AN ILLUSIONNN!

Huuu, huuu… I never imagined that he was such a loser. All this time I’ve been listening to this losers'(Bizef’s) adventurer stories with glittering eyes, but now I want him to give me back my excitment.

“Unconscious from my pressure, huh, you frail human.”

Okay. Chuunibyou over there, don’t spout off pretentious lines. Are you trying to say you used your haki or something?

Honestly, I can’t rely on this loser(Bizef) anymore. I need to warn him myself. In place of Loser(Bizef), I confronted Garm.

“Evil God. Earlier you showed nothing but the speed of your legs. Someone like you is comparable to Zorg-sama? It seems that Viceroy’s eyes have been clouded too. I’ve lost interest. Demonic Dragon Gyangu, devour her!”

At Garm’s instruction, the dragon came and attacked me. It opened its large mouth, and pointed its sharp fangs at me. The jagged teeth looked painful. They looked like they could easily bite off something as frail as a human’s arm.

Uheh! Even if I know the trick behind it, it’s still scary!

And then that dragon bit into me. With a bite, those sharp teeth stabbed into my shoulder.

Kuah! I-, It bit me. I-, I’M DEADDD!

――Wai-, it doesn’t hurt!?

Huu, so it really is illusion magic? I won’t be deceived by looks anymore. Visually, it seems like a dragon is biting into me, swinging its tail at me, and charging at me. But my pain receptors are telling me that a “chihuahua” or some other small animal is frolicking with me.

Huhu, how strange. Even though my eyes are telling me it’s like a real Jurassic Park, there’s no damage. And well, of course, since in reality it’s just a playful chihuahua.

In that case…

“Hey, hey, doggie. Good boy, good boy♪”

I decided to think of the attacking dragon as a small animal. I decided to give patting the chihuahua(dragon)’s head and stomach a try.
But the chihuahua(dragon) just kept biting and butting into me, and wouldn’t really come to like me.

Hmm~ It’s no good. For somebody who’s never had pets before like me, the hurdle is a bit high.

“W-, What!? For Gyangu’s attacks to be ineffective…”

“Yeah. I’m having trouble getting him to like me.”

“Ku-! Speaking nonsense. In that case, take my Secret Technique, Jet Star![Super Demonic Demon Dragon Strike!]”

――Mn, what?

The playful chihuahua(dragon) retreated backwards for a moment.

And then…

TOBIEEE!

Of all things, the chihuahua(dragon) charged at me with its mouth wide open from three different directions, like it had suddenly spawned clones. Is this that dog anime’s Battouga or something!

Although it was a chihuahua, as you’d expect it was scary. I immediately backpedalled.

“Idiot! You won’t escape from my Secret Technique! After her, Gyangu!”

Oohh, just as I thought I had escaped, it unnaturally changed directions and came after me. A homing-type, huh. The pursuing chihuahua(dragon)’s big mouth came down on my arm.

O-, OWW-, OWWWWWW!

I was bitten defencelessly.

“I-, Impossible… Taking on my Secret Technique uninjured…”

Nono, I’m not uninjured. My hand is hurt, you know.

Blood is dripping from it. Apparently my hand was bitten by the chihuahua(dragon). My hand is bleeding. Because of the illusion magic, it was really intense, but basically Garm sicced his dog on me.

Ahhh, shit. Injuring a cook’s hand like this! It isn’t that serious an injury, but as you’d expect, injuring a chef’s hand would make them angry.

I’m mad now. I’m mad. Fucking doing something like this because I felt bad and acted modestly!

First of all is this chihuahua(dragon). Although it was its owner’s orders, it’s a problem that it has a habit of casually attacking people. I’m not going to be soft on it just because it’s a puppy.

“Doggie, you can’t bite people you know! SIT!”

I grabbed the chihuahua(dragon) by the neck, and forced it to the floor. The chihuahua(dragon)let out a cry of anguish, and collapsed. A roar like the sky collapsing resounded through the area.

What an incredible vibration. So the illusion magic affected my hearing too.

Anyway, I succeeded in holding down the chihuahua(dragon). But the chihuahua(dragon) struggled in a rage to escape my hands. It isn’t really doing as it’s told.

How should I train it… I know! If I remember correctly, I’ve heard that dogs have a hierarchal system, and won’t listen to anybody except those above it in the hierarchy. In other words, I need to show that I’m stronger than the owner that sicced it on me.

Hmm. It’s somebody else’s pet, but he’s a bad owner that set his pets on other people, so it’s fine, right? I glared at the chihuahua(dragon). And then, threatening the chihuahua(dragon), I suddenly put power into the arm that was grabbing it.

“Doggie, cut it out already. I’ll seriously get angry, you know!”

I tightly applied pressure to the chihuahua(dragon)’s creaking neck. The sounds made it seem like the bones in its neck were about to break.

“Kyuuu! Kyuuu!”

Whether it was because my threats worked, or whether it was because it thought its neck was going to break, the chihuahua(dragon) lay belly up and showed its submission to me.

Haha, did I go too far?

I accidentally committed a little animal abuse. I’m reflecting on it.

“It-, It can’t be. My mount… my legendary demonic dragon…”

Yes, yes. A legendary demonic dragon, huh? It was a pretty cute puppy. Anyway, the dragon seems to think that I’m above its owner. I’d better give Garm his punishment now.

Punishment, punishment… What should I do…? I know!

Although it’s a puppy, if you sic it on people, they’ll get injured. Garm doesn’t understand this. That’s why he so casually played a prank like that.

Alright, I’ll have Garm taste the same thing. People really don’t reflect unless they feel some pain themselves.

“Doggie, this is an order. Play with your owner.”

“W-, What! Y-, YOUUUUUU!”

At my command, Doggie went and vigorously played with its owner. Opening its big mouth and biting Garm, or using its claws to scratch him up.

“S-, Stop it. Gyangu, i-, it’s me, Garm. W-, Wai――GUEH-!”

Uu~ Thanks to the illusion magic, it looks more like a dragon attacking Garm, rather than a puppy frolicking with him. This is really terrible to look at.

While I was suffering from the scene before me,

“Oneesama!”

I heard Timu calling for me.

Oh yeah, I forgot. Timu and the others were coming later, weren’t they. But this isn’t really a situation where Timu should apologise anymore.

“Ah-, Timu. I’m a little busy at the moment and――wha-, GEH! C-, Could it be that that’s Gargan?”

“Yes, Oneesama.”

When I turned around, I found that to my surprise, although it was a different species than Garm’s pet, Timu had brought yet another splendid dragon. It seems that I really did get hexed by an illusion magic that makes me see cats and dogs as dragons.

Illusion magic, how fearsome!

Aahh, what a disaster… Even Timu’s Gargan looks like a dragon now. This really is a bit too surreal. This magic isn’t going to be permanent, right? I don’t think I’ll be able to handle the stress if things stay like this forever.

“Oneesama, things have taken an amusing turn, haven’t they.”

“Mn――a bunch of stuff happened, so I had Garm’s pet frolic with him. But still, I see that you’ve brought Gargan, Timu.”

“Yes. Garm is a demonic dragon user, so I thought that my own mount would be necessary.”

Mn? I see!

It seems that Garm is quite the pet lover. He brought his chihuahua along, after all. Did Timu think to help their friendship by bringing her own pet? If pets get along, then their owners would get closer too, after all.

“Well done, Timu. You really gave this some thought, didn’t you.”

“I am honored to receive your praise. Well then, would it be all right if I had Gargan play as well?”

Hmmmm, would it?

I’m getting the feeling that just his own pet is too much for him but…

No, I’m sure it’s a pointless worry. Garm loves pets after all, so I’m sure even if it’s two puppies now, he’ll be able to handle them.

“Mn, that’s fine.”

“Thank you for your permission. Go, Gargan. Bite off his head!”

Oi, oi, Timu. Even if it’s only a puppy, if you give it an order like that, Garm’s going to die, you know.

But well, Timu is a chuunibyou. It can’t be helped that “go play” ends up as a line like that. But still, what an incredible sight. It’s almost like Garm is being tormented by two dragons.

“UOOOOH, GAH, GAGAH!”

“GYAN, GYAGAAAAAAAN!”

“Haa, haa, mu!? Even Gargan is here. S-, Shit, haa, haa, GYAAAAHHH!”

………………

A roar rang through our surroundings. A cloud of dust flew into the air. And amongst it all, Garm’s occasional screams.

――what a tragedy!

A-, Are they really dragons? This scene has kind of become so realistic that I’m finding it hard to believe that it’s just an illusion anymore.

I’d better ask somebody else.

“T-, Ti~mu. H-, How does that look to you?”

I pointed my finger at the scene of the two dragons tormenting him without restraint.

“Huhu, Oneesama. Damned Gargan. It seems he’s really taken a liking to him. He’s playing so happily after all.”

Mu, if Timu says so, then it must be true. The members of Timu’s praetorian guard that were standing around were grinning at the scene, after all. So they really were just seeing two chihuahuas frolicking about. It’s probably just my senses that are weird.

I’m sure that in reality, the scene is like,

『Woof, woof. Master, woof.』

『Hey, cut it out. It tickles, Patrasche!』

『Me too, woof.』

『Hey, you’re being too cheeky, Lassie.』

or something like that. But because I had illusion magic cast on me, I ended up seeing something I really didn’t want to. I mean, it really looks like Garm being tormented by two dragons after all.

A-, Anyway, I think I’ll go home early today. I’ll go home, and after having a good sleep, the illusion magic will wear off too, right?

“Anyway, I’ll be going home, okay? Timu, I’ll leave the rest to you.”

“Understood. Please leave the rest to me.”

Yep, yep. There’s no animal lover who’s bad at heart. It seems that things will work out amiably as well, this time.

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“Is this that dog anime’s Battouga or something!”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ginga:_Nagareboshi_Gin#Gin_and_his_family

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<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Chapter 16 – Hidler Appears

This was the castle of the Demon King Army; a citadel in a small country. Although even if it was called a ‘country’, it was merely the size of a small city, and was an insular nation isolated from its neighbours. A few weeks earlier, the Demon King Army had invaded here, and it became the headquarters of the Demon King Army.

Hidler sat down heavily upon the throne in this castle, and overlooked the surroundings with a glare. Lined up before him were the demons who had survived the life-and-death struggle of the earlier great battle.

“Hidler-sama, I cannot agree with your decision to suspend the human clean-up!”

“I feel the same. We of the Demon King Army have waited earlier for this very moment, you know!”

“Indeed. Why have we been recalled from the Royal Capital Extermination? My subordinates are now desperately eager to drink the blood of humans and devour their flesh.”

The demons whose duty was to exterminate the humans were now kicking up a fuss. The battle instincts of the demon race was tremendous. It seems that there was quite a lot of resentment from being forced to hold back.

“You lot, this is disrespect to Viceroy Hidler!”

The one who roared at the noisy demons was the Chief of the Demon King Army Intelligence Division, Yose. Although he was a small man, he was the brains of the Demon King Army, and the power of his intelligence analysis was critical to the army.

“It’s fine, Yose.”

“H-, However…”

“It is fine.”

“Yessir!”

Hidler stood up from the throne, and gave a sweeping glare over the clamouring demons. The pressure was extraordinary, and the people around all curled themselves up to a degree incomparable to when they had received Yose’s roar.

“You are all aware of Camilla’s betrayal, are you not. Settling that issue takes precedence over the humans.”

“Ehh! Camilla-chan betrayed the Demon King Army? Betraying Zolg-sama? What an idiot. Let’s kill her♪”

The one who made a slitting motion at her neck was the recently awakened demon, Luxembourg. She was one of the Six Demon Generals, and a demonic beastman. She had an appearance like a cat, had four flexible limbs, and had a red eye like burning fire, and a blue eye like ice. Unlike her lovely appearance, she was the host to a brutal and wicked personality.

“To think that Camilla-dono, who had both wisdom and talent, as well as deep loyalty would…”

The one who was lost for words was the recently awakened demon, Poe. In pure strength, Poe was foremost amongst the Six Demon Generals. His entire body was clad with tough scales, of a hardness that dragons couldn’t compare to. He had the nature of a military man, but was a demonic dragonoid who would become ferocious in battle.

“No matter what, betrayal is unforgivable! Why are you leaving a traitor as is, Viceroy!”

With brutal emotions clear in his eyes, the Demon General Garm howled. He was a demon that controlled a vicious dragon, and fought together with it.

“Your questions are all very natural ones. Were it only Camilla, I would have handed down punishment myself. The problem is the one that Camilla has sworn new allegiance to, the Evil God.”

“Viceroy, what type of being is this Evil God?”

“Evil God Dark Matter. Their strength may rival Demon King Zorg-sama.”

“I-, It can’t be! That kind of being…”

A commotion spread through the demons. That was natural. Zorg-sama held so tremendous a power that no other could compare. Hidler himself had believed that nobody could be powerful enough to rival him.

But that day, that Evil God had withstood a knifehand from Camilla, and easily defeated Iron Wall Nielsen.

What where they?

Hidler had secretly used mana detection on the Evil God. He had expected mana that was at the very least above the Six Demon Generals, roughly on par with himself but…

That prediction of his weakly crumbled away. Their mana seemed bottomless. Hidler himself couldn’t stop his cold sweat. When it came to that Evil God, even if the whole army attacked at once, it would be meaningless; they would probably just be killed. Now convinced of this, he decided to withdraw while the Evil God was preoccupied with Camilla.

Indeed. Although he felt bad, he decided to use Camilla as a sacrifice. For the sake of Zorg-sama’s revival, he couldn’t allow the Demon King Army to be annihilated. He believed that Camilla’s betrayal was also because she was abandoned by the Demon King Army.

However, when Hidler was retreating, he ordered Yose to stay there and solely gather intelligence. Because of that, he knew about how the intruder girl was the Evil God, and about Camilla’s defeat.

“It is unbelievable, but it is the truth. Because of that, I have decided that we will avoid fighting both the human forces and the Evil God Army at once, and prioritise intelligence collection first.”

“So that’s how it was. And so, what intelligence on the Evil God were we able to obtain?”

“Yose, explain the state of the scouting unit.”

“W-, Well――the Evil God Army was on guard, and our scouting unit was annihilated.”

Yose was deeply ashamed as large amounts of sweat ran down his forehead. The scouting unit had followed Yose’s command. Being annihilated was an unbelievable disgrace. It was natural that even the calm-headed Yose was panicked.

“Annihilated! You, hasn’t your skill gotten dull after reawakening?”

“Enough, Luxembourg. So Yose, what happened?”

Demon General Poe had stopped the angered Luxembourg and continued the conversation. Yose, whose commands he had followed fanatically in the last Great War, had suffered a failure. It meant that the Evil God Army was just that formidable.

“Y-, Yes. The final report from the unit stated that they were observing the Evil God stronghold, and had been encircling it, but they were discovered by their household guard, led by Nielsen, and were completely destroyed.”

“Iron Wall Nielsen, huh. How cunning. Viceroy, we aren’t just going to sit quietly after this, right? I can’t stand it!”

Demon General Garm yelled angrily with a frenzied look. Garm’s disposition was intense. It seems that hearing that his own forces were defeated made him unable to stand it.

“Garm! I forbid you to attack. Making a move now would only reduce our forces.”

“But is it fine being looked down on by the enemy like this!?”

“Garm-sama, it is as the Viceroy says. Kira-sama also shook off Viceroy Hidler’s restraints, and meaninglessly lost his life.”

“That Kira died?”

“Yes. Kira-sama ignored the Viceroy’s warnings, completely fell for the Nielsen Unit’s provocations, and tragically lost his life.”

“Hah! Looks like re-awakening did nothing to help his simple-mindedness huh. So then his Kira Unit was annihilated as well.”

“It is as you say. After losing Kira-sama, the members of the unit fell into a panic, and without acting together as an organisation, they were individually crushed by the Nielsen Unit.”

“And because of that you’re telling us to gather intelligence!? I can’t agree. And that Evil God? There’s no way they have power that compares to Zorg-sama. Viceroy, sorry but I’ll be doing as I please.”

Garm opened the door and left. Shining bloodlust was being released from but, and it was likely that he would now head on to attack the Evil God Army.

“Wait! This is the Viceroy’s order, you know!”

“That’s enough. If saying it won’t get through to him, then he probably won’t understand unless he feels it himself.”

“Understood. Then, what is the strategy for our next move?”

“Yose, you will continue to gather intelligence. This time, choose the best to bring with you.”

“Yessir.”

“Then what about us?”

“Luxembourg, you, Poe and the others are to come with me. There is something we must do.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“We will unseal the Demonic Evil Three.”

“Wha-!? V-, Viceroy, are you sane!? They’re so lawless that Zorg-sama sealed them himself, you know!”

Yose’s expression changed, and he advised Hidler. As the Chief of the Intelligence Division, and the strategist of the Demon King Army, it was something that he ought to oppose.

“This one is also opposed. Although we all belong to the Demon King Army, their way of thinking is completely different to ours!”

Demon General Poe also vehemently objected. Poe who always took care of his surroundings and would absolutely obey an order from above was now voicing his objections. You could infer from this just how lawless the Demonic Evil Three were.

“I am aware. I also find their disrespect towards Zolg-sama repulsive. However, their combat strength is on another level. There is nobody who can oppose the Evil God but them.”

“…If you go to say that much, then I understand. We will also help to undo the seal.”

The Demonic Evil Three; their battle strength was immeasurable. Without them knowing, the siege of the Evil God Army was on its way.

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Chapter 15 – “I need to be thorough in the dog’s training, huh.”

Huu~ What do I do?

These last few weeks, I’ve been guiding Pervert(Nielsen). I had thought to just overlook it no matter what kind of Chuuni things Pervert(Nielsen) did, but it seems that Nielsen’s crossed a line that mustn’t be crossed.

It all happened this morning. I entered the kitchen, thinking to cover for Pervert(Nielsen)’s skill. It kind of looked like he was bleeding a little, so I asked him what was up.

When I did, Pervert(Nielsen) said “There is no greater shame. I was done in by the remnants of the Kira Unit.”

Right. It seems that he settled things with Kira-san who came a while ago to voice his objections to Timu. “He and I have had a long grudge with each other, but I have finally settled things. It was thanks to your training, Oneesama,” Timu said. How cute.

Thanks to my training?

I was a little lost, but I immediately understood. Through helping out in the kitchen, she learned my diligent attitude towards customers, and realised the gravity of sincerity. Having realised that, Timu probably gave an apology from the heart, and Kira-san forgave her as well.

Fufu, as expected of my little sister. She’s quick on the uptake.

The problem is Pervert(Nielsen)!

Over these last few days, apparently Pervert(Nielsen) had been having a talk with the Kira Unit—in other words, Kira’s group—but this morning Pervert(Nielsen) came back with an injured arm. Kira-san had forgiven Timu. Kira’s friends had forgiven her at the same time too, I think. But Pervert(Nielsen) was showing off injuries; I’m sure as if to say that he had been fighting with them.
In other words, Pervert(Nielsen) has finally begun to injure himself. A one-man play.

I know the truth. I think that the talk with Kira-san and his friends went pretty well. But, Pervert(Nielsen) is a chuunibyou, and took chuunibyou actions. In Pervert(Nielsen)’s mind, he probably saw the simple discussion with the Kira Unit as extermination. And then he came back after injuring himself, as though to say that he definitely fought.

As expected, Timu asked “Nielsen, are you all right?” after all, and Pervert(Nielsen) answered the way Pervert(Nielsen) would, and spouted “Hmph. Tis but a scratch.”

You! You definitely did that because you wanted to say that line, didn’t you! Honestly, in my past life I was pretty extreme, but I think I’ve lost to you.

Maybe I really should fire him――the scales in my mind were tipping that way.

But, there’s something that I’ve realised over these last few weeks. Timu’s trust in Pervert(Nielsen) is no joke. It’s almost like they’re a master and servant who lived through long years of sufferings and joys together.

Why? He’s an elderly chuunibyou good for nothing, so why!

――Hah-!? It couldn’t be!

Is Timu in love with Pervert(Nielsen)?

No way, no way! Oneechan won’t allow it!

There’s no way I could give my precious sister to that Pervert(Nielsen).

“Tilea-sama, no, would it be better if I called you Oneesama(Esteemed Sister-in-Law)?”

Or a line like that from Pervert(Nielsen)?

Hu hu, if that happens then I’ll destroy Pervert(Nielsen) along with this planet!

No good, no good, my thoughts have being chuuni-esque. What am I going to do by getting influenced by Pervert(Nielsen)’s chuunibyou. For now, there’s nothing I can do even by agonising over it by myself. Since asking the person herself would be best, I headed to Timu’s room.

“Ti~mu, can we talk a little? There’s a little something I’d like to ask, but…”

“Oneesama, what is it?”

“What do you think of Pervert-, I mean Nielsen?”

“Nielsen? He is my most trusted subordinate.”

Hmm. It doesn’t seem to be romantic feelings. I guess I can relax for now. But as expected, her trust is no joke.

It couldn’t be! She wouldn’t happen to trust him more than me, right?

I did give her a spanking the other day after all, but she wouldn’t come to hate Oneechan right?

――I won’t lose. I won’t lose, damnit. As Timu’s older sister, I don’t want to lose to Pervert(Nielsen).

“T-, Then, what do you think of Oneechan?”

I tried asking her, completely timid inside. If Timu doesn’t trust me, I might just go kill Pervert(Nielsen) out of jealousy.

“Oneesama is the ultimate and greatest being. The person I offer my heart and loyalty to.”

“…I-, I see, ehehe.”

D-, Did I win?

Eh~ Timu is a chuunibyou. In other words, when you translate it you get “I respect you, Oneechan♪” I guess…

But well, Timu’s chuunibyou is another matter so, I’ll leave it aside. For now, I understand quite well the relationship between Pervert(Nielsen) and Timu. I thought this before, but as expected they fit the dog and owner relationship the most, I guess. It isn’t a romantic one. It isn’t.

Now then, in that case, what should I do about that self-harming dog?

Timu is fond of Pervert(Nielsen). But you could say that Pervert(Nielsen) is approaching MAX chuunibyou. It’s a dangerous situation.

In my previous life, when my chuunibyou hit MAX, I used my chuunibyou to run away from everything difficult and harsh. I was violent with my family. I never worked properly, and lived as scum. In other words, I lived causing great trouble to others.

I think Pervert(Nielsen) will also head down that path before long. Normally you wouldn’t let such a dangerous guy near you. All the more if you have precious family with you.

But is it really fine to abandon Pervert(Nielsen) like this?

Right now Timu seems fond of him, but in the near future she’ll probably abandon him. That’s what happens when you’re too much of a chuunibyou.

When it happens, Pervert(Nielsen) would be hurt. And then he’d regret. Why did he run away from things that were harsh? Why didn’t he work properly and cherish his family? It would be exactly the situation I was in during my previous life.

Is this also atonement…?

In my previous life, I lived completely troubling others. It isn’t enough just to try my best by myself. I didn’t reincarnate just to live a life that I wouldn’t regret. I’m sure that I was also born here to help those in the same circumstances.

――Alright! Then I’ll try my best for the sake of Pervert(Nielsen), for the sake of Timu’s beloved dog! I’ll think of a instruction manual that’ll rehabilitate even a serious chuunibyou like Pervert(Nielsen).

First I need to teach the common sense needed in society. Next is how to word things――there’s a mountain of things to do.

Like that, while I was exploring various options,

“Tilea-sama! Tilea-sama!”

I heard the dog’s voice calling.

Seeing that panicked atmosphere, did he mess something up again?

“What is it thisss time? Did the Demon King Army come to attack?”

“Yes. Exactly as you say.”

Exactly as I say, huh!

I bet it’s just Kira-san’s friends anyway. Honestly, his way of wording things never changes, huh.

“Hmmm~ Is this about Timu’s withdrawal again?”

“It is as you say. The one attacking is Demon General Garm. It seems that Hidler has placed more importance on us than on cleaning up the humans. To begin with, the Demon King Army has never forgiven traitors after all.”

I see. So it wasn’t only Kira-san that had problems with Timu, huh. Even if this is Timu’s fault, it’d be pitiful for Timu to do all the apologising, wouldn’t it. It’s quite emotionally draining having to deal with complaints after all.

For the sake of my beloved sister, I decided to take care of Timu’s support.

“Niel, I’ve got it. This time I’ll go!”

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TL: forgot to mention since I was in a rush to go to bed, but “Hu hu, if that happens then I’ll destroy Pervert(Nielsen) along with this planet!” is a Vegeta quote.

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