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Hi guys! Since you punk ass bitches kept complaining about cliffhangers, I delayed the release of this one until I could get the next one done too.
Ririna KGB Agent – Saika Tsugumi
My friend Ririna-chan has an older cousin named Kisshouin Reika. She loves her very much.
I entered Zui’ran through its primary section. My family was decently well off, but not so wealthy that I could enter the Pivoine either. And I didn’t think of myself as the type who liked attention, so there was no reason for anybody to pay attention to me.
The next six years were enjoyable enough though. I spent them with girls who were more like me, and never drew the notice of the showier girls.
When I entered the middle school section I ended up in the same class as Kotou Ririna-chan.
Despite being a new External herself, Ririna-chan was never afraid of anything, and even the Internal Students were given no face. That was just the kind of girl she was.
To be honest I thought she was a little scary at first. She was bold and wilful, and nothing like me at all, so naturally we would never have anything to do with each other. That was my impression at the time.
At Zui’ran there was an upperclassman in the year above. His name was Kaburagi Masaya-senpai but we also called him the Emperor, and everybody adored and admired him.
The Emperor was constantly surrounded by his female fans, and his fan club even had its own hierarchy. New fans had to give way to the older fans, and it was an unwritten rule that underclassmen could only gaze at him from behind their senpai.
Despite this, Kotou-san took no notice and of all things began to follow the Emperor around and talk to him.
Naturally the many oneesama in the higher grades and the girls in our own year were both scandalised and outraged. But no matter how many times they summoned her and berated her, the result was always the same.
“Who I like is my own business! Who gave you the right to complain about it!”
Kotou-san would become enraged at them instead.
Because of her attitude her enemies increased, and near the end everybody was sure that she would be consigned to isolation. But the most famous girl in 2nd Year, Kisshouin Reika-sama, began to apologise to each one of Kotou-san’s detractors.
As it turned out, Reika-sama and Kotou-san were cousins. With Reika-sama bowing in apology, even the Pivoine girls from 1st Year, who hated Kotou-san the most, were forced into inaction.
But now nobody could touch her. It was unfortunately a matter of course that Kotou-san’s behaviour grew more outrageous. With Reika-sama as her backer, Kotou-san was able to avoid any retribution.
One day Kotou-san suddenly stopped following the Emperor around. Perhaps because of the rumours I heard about her enraging him. But if that was true then the consequences should have been dire. Kotou-san was coming to school as normal.
Something else to note was that her behaviour was more restrained than before, and she was less careless in what she did. Rumours ran abound in our grade, but without a confirmation from Kotou-san herself, in the end nobody knew what had happened.
She hadn’t lost any of her strong will, but from that day onwards she stopped crossing the line. As a result she gradually gained friends.
Of course, I still had no intention of getting involved with her, but because Kotou had the ‘East’ character while Saika had ‘West’, the teacher grouped us together at every chance.
Before I knew it, Kotou-san would hold my arm and walk with me whenever it came time to switch classrooms.
And Kotou-san began calling me ‘Tsugumi’, even though I had no recollection of allowing it.
“Huh. This is the same model that I’m using. I think I’ll exchange addresses with you.”
Somehow she even spotted my cellphone and forced her email address on me.
Each day after that came a flurry of messages.
I guess she thought well of me for whatever reason. I noticed this when she followed the Emperor too, but Kotou-san was really pushy…
By now I had pretty much given up. I didn’t think it was possible for me to escape this person any more…
Still, although she was overbearing and somewhat wilful, Kotou-san was by no means a bad person. As long as she acknowledged you she wouldn’t hesitate to defend you with all her might.
One day, some boy called me “midget four-eyes”. Kotou-san rushed out and began shouting at him.
“Make fun of my friend again and I’ll damage your hair so badly the roots will never grow anything again!”
As the frightened boy tried to escape she chased after him and continued to threaten him.
“How about a widow’s peak! Or a tonsure! Maybe I’ll just take it all!”
Kotou-san was incredible…
But just now, she said ‘my friend’…
I decided to give calling her name a try.
“Thank you, Ririna-chan.”
For a moment Kotou-san, now Ririna-chan, looked surprised, but that quickly changed into a satisfied smile.
From that day onwards, we really were friends.
Ririna-chan’s conversations often involved Reika-senpai.
I was a plain and easily overlooked girl, but because of my friendship with Ririna-chan I was allowed to call her ‘Reika-senpai’. It was wonderful.
Anyhow, Kisshouin Reika-senpai was the perfect oneesama to us. Not only was she beautiful, but she was charismatic and intelligent too. Ririna-chan didn’t seem to think so though.
“Geez, Reika-san has gotten fat again.”
“Apparently Reika-san was dropkicked by a monkey at Nikkou, but she couldn’t even counterattack.”
“Reika-san said that her dream was to be proposed to with too many flower bouquets to carry. And the other day she said that she wanted to exchange her vows on Christmas, in a church decorated by little lights, you know? Reika-san might really be tricked by a marriage swindler one day…”
“Reika-san keeps buying worthless mail order stuff that she sees on television. The other day when I went to sleep over she proudly brought out this ‘kaimaki futon’ sleeping bag thing and told me to sleep in it.”
“You know, Reika-san’s whole family came down with food poisoning because of her home-made yoghurt.”
“When I asked Reika-san what her ideal type was, she told me that it was somebody who would chant the Spell of Destruction with her. Laputa? Geez, Reika-san really never grows up.”
I had no idea if these were truth or lies, but each time Ririna-chan would let out a huge sigh and say,
“It’s tough having an older sister that you always need to take care of.”
I think as an only child, Ririna-chan actually really wanted siblings.
Being the stubborn person that she was, Ririna-chan would never admit it, but she actually really loved Reika-senpai.
During Reika-senpai’s middle school graduation, Ririna-chan said, “Reika-san won’t get flowers from anyone else, anyway!” as an excuse to bring her flowers.
But even though Ririna-chan tried her hardest to choose, for some reason she had Reika-senpai’s oniisama hand them over.
I think she was upset because of all the flowers that other kouhai gave Reika-senpai.
During our own ceremony the next year, Reika-senpai and her oniisama came to offer their congratulations as well. They gave Ririna-chan a bouquet of lollipop lilies that was just perfect for her.
Although her tongue was venomous as always, after Reika-senpai and her brother left, Ririna-chan hugged the bouquet and secretly cried just a little.
These days there are lollipop lilies and urara roses growing in the garden at Ririna-chan’s house.
The rumours about Reika-senpai’s love life seemed to be endless.
I suppose that was little surprise, though. Reika-senpai was like a beautiful queen, always surrounded by other people.
First was the pairing that was considered not only the most enviable, but also the most dreamy; none other than the Emperor himself.
The Emperor was a person who rarely paid girls any attention, and Reika-senpai was one of the very few girls he was close to. For example, when he gave Reika-senpai a love poem anthology, or when he played a song on the piano for her. It was sooo dreamy!
According to rumours, somebody had spotted them behind the school building, the Emperor with a hand on her shoulder, looking like they were about to kiss at any moment. If that was true then this was a huge scoop.
The next love interest was Enjou-sama, the other major source of adoration for Zui’ran girls. He was the Emperor’s best friend, and treated as something like the Prince of Zui’ran.
There were rumours about how Enjou-sama loved Reika-senpai as well, for example stories about how the two of them shared an umbrella home, or how he brought back souvenirs for Reika-senpai.
According to the girls in the Pivoine, the two of them often happily chatted in the salon or at parties, and although this next bit was also just a rumour, apparently Reika-senpai had wanted a firefly, so Enjou-sama caught one and gifted it to her as a present.
The most important piece of evidence was the time with the matching towels! Reika-senpai said that it was a present from his younger brother, but nobody believed her. Apparently when people asked Enjou about the match, he replied,
“I’m quite fond of these towels, you see.”
There was also news about how Enjou-sama had especially given Reika-senpai a cappuccino with latte art. Did this mean that Enjou-sama was one point in the lead?
There was another rumour about how Reika-sama had received from one of them, or both, a cute necklace as a present, which the girls were all squealing about. But according to my investigations, this one was a little wrong.
Still, to the girls, the three of them almost lived in another world, so the girls liked to imagine fantastical stories of romance between them.
It wasn’t just the Emperor and Enjou-sama though. In Reika-senpai’s own grade was a diligent-looking senpai who was the Class Representative, as well as the brawny senpai from the Judo Club, both of whom were often spotted acting quite intimately with Reika-senpai. There were accounts of them sometimes speaking happily to Reika-senpai with a red face, so they definitely liked her, or so the rumours went.
Besides that were plenty of rumours about other men too.
For example, how in truth her oniisama’s friend was carefully grooming her to be his future wife, just like Hikaru Genji.
Or how, no, that was completely wrong, because she was actually involved with a commoner boy from another school.
Or how younger boys looked up to and adored Reika-senpai and were competing for her affection.
The point was that the rumours were endless.
Not everything could be trusted though, because I knew that there were some definite falsehoods mixed in.
For example, there was a rumour that one of those younger boys was Shop Boy-kun. We were all quietly aware that Shop Boy-kun actually liked Ririna-chan though.
And speaking of Ririna-chan, sometimes I didn’t know what to do with her. Even though Shop Boy-kun had finally gained the courage to gift her a towel with her initials in it, she excitedly ran to give it to Reika-senpai instead. That was honestly just shocking~
But Ririna-chan had probably just wanted an excuse to give Reika-senpai a towel. And later on she bought the same towel. Ririna-chan, if you were going to do that anyway, why didn’t you just give Reika-senpai the new one?
When Reika-senpai found out that it had been Shop Boy-kun’s gift she was enraged, so Ririna-chan was depressed for a while.
That’s why I gave Reika-senpai some information about the presidents of the sports club and asked her to forgive Ririna-chan.
“That information was very handy. Thank you very much,” she told me with a smile later.
I was glad that I told her.
Before the School Festival, Reika-senpai asked me to investigate the manager of the Track Club. Apparently that manager was possibly a love rival for Reika-senpai’s best friend.
In the past Reika-senpai had actually asked me to find out if anybody liked Akizawa-senpai. If I remembered correctly, there was a girl with a one-sided crush on him. In the end she ended up dating a boy that had liked her instead though.
This time, as it turned out, Reika-senpai’s worries were founded; the manager was guilty.
Akizawa-senpai already had a childhood friend he was dating from another school, and that girl even showed up for large track matches or the school festivals.
But the manager didn’t care at all. She often had conversations with her friends along the lines of,
“That childhood friend doesn’t seem to like track at all. I think I’d understand senpai better than she would. And I spend more time with him too…”
“Well in that case you should keep trying. Snatch him from her.”
When I reported this to Reika-senpai, Reika-senpai turned sheet white with panic and said,
“What do I do? I’m going to be killed…”
Ririna-chan saw her expression and asked me what was going on, so I explained.
“Reika-san’s best friend…?” she said with a twitch of her eyebrow. “Tsugumi! We’re going to thoroughly investigate her friend’s boyfriend, as well as that manager!” she declared.
Aah~ Ririna-chan was going to rampage again…
In the end though, during the public day for the School Festival, the manager had apparently seen the two of them flirting with held hands so she gave up. Maybe she thought that she couldn’t compete after seeing them together. Not only that but the girlfriend in question was what you would expect from Reika-senpai’s best friend. Elegant, quiet, and the perfect Yamato Nadeshiko.
She must have felt a little uneasy being in a strange school, because she was gently holding onto his arm with her free hand. Exchanging looks with each other, she asked him what this or that was with a reserved smile on her face. Honestly, they were so lovey-dovey.
Sometimes that Yamato Nadeshiko-san would mention “Reika-san” in her conversations. When Ririna-chan heard it she had rushed up and introduced herself.
“So you must be Reika-san’s best friend! My name is Kotou Ririna, Reika-san’s younger cousin. I leave my unworthy older cousin in your care!”
Thanks to that, word quickly spread that Akizawa-senpai’s girlfriend was actually ‘Kisshouin Reika-sama’s best friend’. Perhaps that was also part of why the manager had given up.
If she made Reika-senpai’s best friend cry, she would be making an enemy of Reika-senpai too, after all.
According to my sources, the boys in 2nd Year had actually given Reika-senpai quite a rude nickname.
Not only that but they said things like, “When Kisshouin Reika draws her Demon Fan, the school is soaked with a rain of blood.”
What on earth were those people treating her as. Despite going on about how scary she was, they sure didn’t hesitate to disrespect her.
I definitely couldn’t let Ririna-chan know. If she did I could see her charging into the 2nd Year classrooms screaming, “Reika-san shall be avenged!”
But, the Soccer Club, Baseball Club, and the Basketball Club seemed genuinely afraid of her. It was probably because of that information that I gave her. Perhaps they issued a gag order for that meeting because no information on it reached me.
Even when I asked Reika-senpai, she just smiled, “That was a very productive meeting.”
What the 2nd Year boys said was nonsense, but perhaps one thing really was true. The Demon Fan seemed to have been drawn…
The other day I spotted Reika-senpai taking a stroll through the courtyard. Even though it was still autumn she had a parasol with her. As expected of Reika-sama. But for some reason her friends were carrying shiny CD’s with them. Was that some kind of good luck charm?
And what did she mean by “Fight me, Hitchcock!”
Aah~ But at the moment people were saying that the biggest threat to Reika-senpai’s romance was Takamichi Wakaba-senpai. Perhaps it would be a good idea to investigate her as well…
Ririna-chan wasn’t too familiar with rumours, so she hadn’t seemed to have heard yet, but eventually this was going to turn into a huge mess, wasn’t it…
Still, Reika-senpai had asked us to look after Ririna-chan, so if Ririna-chan went on a rampage then it would be up to us to stop her, wouldn’t it.
Both of them asking the other’s friends to look after them. They really were cousins.
If I ever said this, I could see Ririna-chan shouting, “We aren’t alike at all!”
Still, I’d bet that she would be really happy inside.
Finally, going back to Enjou-sama, I was hearing a weird rumour. I wonder if it was true…
TL Note: The Birds is a 1963 American horror-thriller film directed by Alfred Hitchcock, regarding a series of sudden, unexplained violent bird attacks on the people of Bodega Bay, California over the course of a few days.
Supposedly CD’s will scare off pigeons and other birds.
Also this is a kaimaki futon lol.
Apparently it’s a traditional blanket that’s quite popular in the far north where it’s easy for your nipples to freeze off.
Supposedly the shape of it covers up your shoulders which leaves you quite warm. I assume that the sleeves are for tradition because nobody actually puts their arms through them.