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“She was my classmate in university. This is Yumiyama Erika-san.”
“Hello.”
Smiling besides Ichinokura-san, Yumiyama Erika-san was slender like a model. Actually not ‘like’. I had seen her in fashion magazines before. She was literally a model.
“What are you having, Erika?”
“I’ll just go with a salad. I have a photo shoot soon.”
Mao-chan and I had arrived earlier and already ordered, so sitting in front of us now were countless plates.
Mao-chan looked at her own orders, and then looked at Erika-san’s salad.
We couldn’t exactly waste food that we ordered either, so in front of Erika-san and her tiny salad, Mao-chan and I were forced to awkwardly eat our usual fill of calories.
“I’ve heard so much about you two from Haruto,” she smiled. “He’s always talking about how cute his niece and her friend are. And gosh was he right! You really are as cute as a doll~!”
She clapped her hands together in happiness.
“Didn’t I tell you? Mao and Reika-san are like adorable little sisters. Just going out to eat with them is enough to do away with all my stress.”
Ichinokura-san flashed a smile beside her.
“You’re such a gourmand, Haruto~” she replied. “Actually, I’ve known about Mao for quite a while now, but recently he began telling me about you as well, Reika-san, and I just had to meet you.”
I was startled.
“Umm, I apologise for always going out to eat with him. I had no idea he was taken, and did not mean anything by it… If I upset you in any way, I will make up for it.”
Uh oh. Don’t tell me she had to meet me to stop taking her boyfriend out to play?!
We weren’t playing though. We were eating.
Ah! Didn’t we go to Taiwan the other day!? Although to be honest it was a one-day trip so you couldn’t really call it going on vacation with somebody.
But still! Don’t tell me I was in the position of some housewrecker!? Aahh! Reika! Didn’t you learn anything after that time with Kasumi-sama!?
‘Adultery’…
‘Demanding reparations’…
“No! I didn’t mean it like that! You didn’t do anything to upset me at all!” she exclaimed as she waved her hands in denial. “Actually, I’m really happy that he finally has somebody to eat with, you know?”
…Really?
“You know how much Haruto loves food, don’t you? I’ve been trying to eat out with him as much as I can, but I just can’t. But then recently I heard that you and Mao were going places with him and I was just so relieved. Haruto always tells me how much he enjoys his meals with you two, you know?”
I put on a smile and nodded along.
“You’re just a small eater, Erika,” said Ichinokura-san, “You don’t have to force yourself to come with me. And Reika-san, when I first met you you wouldn’t even touch the food. I was really worried, you know? But thankfully when we met again at Mao’s birthday I found you happily eating away. Erika has never eaten much, and now her job needs it too, but you two are still growing so you need to eat. Oh, what should we get for dessert?”
With that, Ichinokura-san showed the dessert menu to the two of us, even after all of the food──
*
*
*
We talked about how they first met, or about Erika-san’s modelling job, and to be honest it was a nice enough lunch. And there had been no need for me to worry about Taiwan either, because Erika-san had said to me with a smile, “It must have been tiring going to Taiwan. I’m glad the xiaolongbao were good. I’ve been drinking the tea Haruto got me every day.”
Ichinokura-san spoke.
“Now then, what shall we do? Erika wanted to go with you wherever you two wanted.”
“Yes. How about shopping? I could get you two clothes that would look good on you. Oh, or did you want to go eat something else?”
Mao-chan and I made eye contact.
“No, I am afraid I must be excusing myself. I would not want to disturb you on your date.”
“Me too! I’m full so I’m going to go home now!”
“Eh? You don’t have to worry about that,” said Ichinokura-san.
“Yeah! We only just met too, and you’re leaving already?” agreed Erika-san.
“I simply cannot accept disturbing you two further,” I said cheerfully.
“You’re right, Reika-oneesama. Haruto-niisama, you’re the one who shouldn’t be holding back. Go enjoy your date!” smiled Mao-chan.
The two of them gave slightly troubled smiles at our teasing.
“Then at least let us send you off,” he said.
“No need. My family will send a car. Please, go on.”
“Reika-oneesama, in that case could you drop me off too?”
“Of course, Mao-chan.”
“Hmm… Is this really okay?” he asked.
‘It is, it is’ the two of us cheerfully reassured him.
“We’ll definitely meet again right?” asked Erika-san, “Mao-chan, I’d be really happy if you called me ‘oneesan’ too.”
Mao smiled at her bashfully.
And so the two of us saw the couple off with a smile before silently walking in the other direction.
“…Mao-chan, shall we go somewhere?”
“…Yes”
The two of us entered a nearby café and ordered something sweet to drink.
“What the heck was that! Haruto-niisama’s girlfriend was exactly skin and bones!” exploded Mao-chan.
“She was a model after all…”
“Unbelievable! He kept saying over and over that plump girls were better than skinny ones and then he chooses a skinny model!? What’s wrong with him!”
Mao-chan was clenching her fists in rage.
I thought it was unbelievable too. Erika-san’s legs were as skinny as my upper arm. Were her legs too skinny, or were my arms too thick…
“She truly ate nothing but salad, it seems.”
Even though Ichinokura-san had completely denounced diets to the two of us…
“Right!? We ate so much but she was the only one eating just a salad! It was like she was laughing at us for eating so much!”
Mm…
“I was sure that the person Haruto-niisama chose would be a plump girl who loved food and was good at cooking. But instead she was a dieter who ate nothing but salad!”
Mao-chan’s cheeks were turning red from rage.
I silently drank my banana au lait.
Mao-chan was hanging her head when she muttered.
“…I’ve gotten fat.”
“Eh!?”
“You and Haruto-niisama said I wasn’t but I’ve been thinking about what Yuuri-kun said… I got on the scales and they said I was fatter. But Okaasama said I didn’t look fat at all, so I thought that maybe I was still okay…”
Are you actually me, Mao-chan?
“Yuuri-kun was right… Haruto-niisama is a big fat liar!”
Mao-chan looked bitter and frustrated.
“I see… I guess I got fat too…”
“Reika-oneesama!”
Mao-chan looked at me in shock.
“I have somewhat noticed it as well. That my weight has increased recently. But I turned away from reality.”
“No, Oneesama! You don’t look fat at all, Oneesama!”
“No. I look like a pear under this…”
“…!”
Mao-chan and I held each others’ hands tightly.
Looking around, all of the girlfriends in the café had tiny cakes, and they used forks to make even tinier bites to eat from. Every one of them without exception was cute and skinny. Nobody ate more than two or three bites.
I was fooled by Alice’s owner’s sweet words, and before I knew it I had transformed into Humpty Dumpty…
*
*
When I got home, a happy tanuki came over.
“Reika! Otousama bought you your favourite cakes, so come eat with me!”
I glared at him and returned to my room.
Hate…! I hated all the men in this world…! Liars! Liars! Liars!
They spouted lies about men liking plumper girls but in the end they always chose the skinny ones! What they said and what they thought were complete opposites!
They said they liked girls who could eat a lot but in their hearts they were laughing at us! That was the truth!
“Nuoooooohhhhhh!!!”
I vented all of my hatred and frustration into my needle felt. Stab! Stab stab stab!
Elohim, Essaim! Elohim, Essaim!
“Uohhhhhhh!!!”
My roar filled the Kisshouin house.
A pox on all the lying men in the world!
お兄ちゃん、やめてぇ！ 
Thx for the chapter o/
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Ah, so that’s what first feels like
It’s quiet something
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Kuuuh. Now you’ve tasted it. The desire and feeling for being throned as the first comment/first like….is similar to how one would feel when exploring a newly added dungeon/floor or for being the first one to clear out or hold a record in a newly updated dungeon.
You’ll be addicted to the feeling of being first, so bad!!😏
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Now that both chapter’s have been properly read~~
Yeah, i knew the Ichinouka ship was never gonna sail for real, but i am surprised by how many people on the comment’s are angry at him… I know he was kinda a jerk with how the way he acted could be misleading, but Reika-sama herself never said she liked him like that, at most she saw him as an older brother figure (a different type from Oni-sama). The thing she is mad about is mostly about the liking fatter girls and liking girl’s plump but in the end he dated a skinny model… well i am laughting out loud here xD (Plz return to the magic Hool Oppa now Reika, it’s your best friend for a reason)
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So begins Reika’s way back to eating a proper diet and exercise. And she probably got a new exercise buddy now. Let’s go, hula hoop!
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Poor Reika… And once again magical tool hula hoop will be making its appearances..
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Reika and Mao blaming their overeating and lack of exercise on men lol.
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I know right, I would be more sustainable if she just exercise in moderation a little every day, ate sensible meals and reserved treats as they were meant to be, treats are only treats if you have them occasionally, if you have them all the time it’s not a treat.
All this yo-yo dieting is real bad for your health, long term.
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I am like a god! I will now go have cookies for lunch!
MWAHAHAHAHA.
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Yeah and her eating chocolate snacks at night, no wonder she’s a pear. As a fattie I cringed at low lax she was.
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Iyaaa…. It only ended with Reika-sama’s cursing… I hope it’s super effective…
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“What are you having, Reika?”
“I’ll just go with a salad. I have a photo shoot soon.”
Mao-chan looked at her own orders, and then looked at Reika-san’s salad.
I think these are supposed to be Erika
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I knew it! The flag burned down!! At least Reika will slim down again. Together with Mao-chan.
Thanks for the translations o great Holy sheeprabbit. Imma gonna worship you.
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Yes discard that rotten bastard! and his equally rotten woman!, shes looking at you like a convenient rubbish bag to fill with food she dont need to eat!! conniving rotten cow! a pox on all your houses!
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Oniisaaamaaaa is the only one who’s always telling the truth. Whenever he can’t tell one he just keeps quieut instead of lying. Onisamaaa best guy ever
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See! I know there was something fishy about him! Turns out he’s that type of guy! A Liar!! LOL!
Thank you for the new chapter :)
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It’s a strange thing to say while stabbing someone with a needle, but Reika is saying “Elohim essaim”, not “Eloim essaim”.
BTW I think you mixed up “Reika” and “Erika” a couple times at the beginning of the chapter. It’s the only way to make some of the lines work.
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Oh oops. I pasted an old draft.
It also said, “Erika has never eaten much, and now her job needs it too, but these you are still growing so you need to eat him.”
Thanks for the catch. Fixed!
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The tanuki voodoo on effect.
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Eyy this tanuki dad always have bad timing. He tries to do good things but at a bad time.
Well maybe another trip to kaburagi’s diet hotel? Maybe bonding with kaburagi mama a little.
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lol. Finally, Reika-sama has awakened from the illusion world, XD!
— Thanks for the chapters~ ^^
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Hahahaha.
I never thought Mao would freak out like that. She seemed like such an innocent little thing but she is a girl in the end.
It’s pretty funny that if anyone hears about it, they will interpret her as being upset that he had a girlfriend.
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Meatbun Delivery~
Thank you for the chapter ( ●w●)
Did reika just use her Voodoo *cough* i mean needle felting skills?!
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Looool she will end up making a voodoo doll of ichinokura at this rate! XD
Thanks for the chapter!
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What if she surprisingly made a good ichinokura doll with her current voodoo trance?
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…that seems possible! XD
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The betrayal is truly deep this time. Avenge yourself, Mao-chan! Reika-oneesama will back you up with voodoo!
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Yeah, the whole vodoo thing suddenly felt like anytime soon Enma Ai’s gonna appear
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Thx for the chapters! I guess my luck ran out on this chapter since you stopped here…hope you’ll translate the next chapters soon! 💕
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You literally came in at the end of a triple update.
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Yep! It’s a Friday so I’ll do it after work.
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“Hate…! I hated all the men in this world…!” They’re coarse and rough, and irritating . . .
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Thank you very much
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Noooo XD I caught up! Thanks for the chapters tho ;) I didn’t realise all these chapters were released after 77 x)
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Thank you for the chapter~
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And I told you guys! He’s fishy! Now all the fishy smell has been released! Liar! Bastard! Beat him oniiisamaaaa
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So because he can’t fatten his girlfriend, he fatten his niece and his niece onee-sama instead? That’s evil plan you got there Ichinokura. And Erika shall forget the possibility Mao will call her oneesama too. You will be ‘aunt’ because Reika is the only oneesama Mao need.
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Thanks 4 the chapter!
Since Reika’s clothes still fit her, I guess she didn’t gain that much.
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this is the definition of bad timing why? because i have 2 assignments,1 scripts needed to be edited and 1 page of history to skim through that is due tommorow
oh well i can do it with my maximum overdrive mode anyway
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Poor tanuki, so bad timing. XD
And the truth finally came out. Awesome chapter!! XD
Thank you very much for the translation.
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Ichinokuraaaaaaaa…..
Curse you.
ROARRRRRRRRR
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Considering that she has the money and influence to destroy people, cursing men and stabbing something is probably the healthiest of chooses.
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well Mao-chan is a pivoine, so she probably can’t destroy Ichinokura even if she wanted to
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Considering that is the top female pivione and the only 2 who have enough influence equal to her are enjou and kaburagi then she does have the power to destroy him even if Mao tried to protect him (we all know she won’t do anything to him though)
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Thank you for the chapter!
Reika-sama and Mao-chan cursing Ichinokura was so refreshing. That liar.
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Omg omg my stomach hurts. 😂😂😂 I could not stop laughing even my jaw hurts😂 Lololol. Mao-Chan and Reika-sama’s crazy antics omg. And true enough what they said makes sense but still that eloim essaim 😂😂😂😂 first thing came into mind was Shigatsu and tanuki papa gamba!!~ ahahahahaha. At least I don’t think Bakaburagi has lied to anyone before? I mean the guy’s pretty much as blunt as murder weapon. I guess we’ll see her on a diet/fasting thing again and this time with Mao-chan.
Thank you so much for the chapter Este!!
Off to read it again😋
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Lol this chapter. So this was the fishy smell that I was smelling from ichinokura!!!! I knew something was off with him! Tsk tsk he tricked poor Reika into eating too much! Lololol
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Eh…but I don’t think Foodie-niisan was lying. He viewed them as kids that needed to grow, and he probs thought that plump kids were healthy and cute kids. Plus, he never rlly did seem to have ill-intentions. The ship was never meant to sail, but ehh? To blame ur weight gain on men? Gotta be responsible for your own health ya know~ Thanks for the chapter!
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No it is partially his fault, when humans with low self-esteem (and simple thinking) gets complimented they tend to believe it and get carried away with it.
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Lol good point
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Thanks for the consecutive updates! :)
At least it’s good she friend zoned him before she could fall for him deeper lol. Now her trust in men has plummeted.
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Reika-sama is really easy to deceived =))
I think actually Oniisama had done something behind the scene about Ichinokura’s gf without everybody knowing xD properly because Oniisama doesn’t approve a brother-in-law candidate that even older than him lol
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*probably
Curse you autocorrect
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So, Rococo queen was really made a voodoo doll. Damn you Ichinokura ! but at least Reika is back to diet program.
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The anger at being conned. Reika Rage meter at maximum! Diet plan extraordinaire to begin soon~
Thanks for the triple release!
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Thanks
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Thanks for the chapter este-chaaan!
3 chapters! Be still my heart!
Edits
“What are you having, Reika?”
“I’ll just go with a salad. I have a photo shoot soon.”
Mao-chan and I had arrived earlier and already ordered, so sitting in front of us now were countless plates.
Mao-chan looked at her own orders, and then looked at Reika-san’s salad.
These bolded Reika’s should be Erika, right?
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Yes! Thank you, Chronos!
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Senpai noticed me~ ❤
*swoons*
You’re welcome~
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I have a question, the answer to which I’m sure we’re all dying to know.
It is a matter more important than who she’ll romance.
How do you pronounce “Kisshouin”?
KI-SHONE?
KISS-SHOE-INN?
KISS-HO-INN?
KISS-HONE?
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“Kish yo’ inn (nigga)”
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Key-show-een. The ‘i’ represents what English would call a hard ‘e’ sound. 😉
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Oh good, Mao’s no longer being fooled by Foodie-niisan. But now she and Reika will have to face the harsh reality of needing to exercise and cut down on eating out.
TT__TT I feel for them (lying sweet talkers are the WORST!!!)
Thank you for the chapter release! XD
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Erika and Reika uses the same letters in their names! If you switch the E and R from Erika you get Reika! And vice versa.
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All men are liars? Even Onii-sama?!
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Good lord ! Lol . Thank for the chapter
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It’s cute how she can commiserate with Mao-chan tho xD
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thnx for the chapter
and lol that was soo funny, poor reika and mao but lol
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I thought Ichinokura went to a famous boy’s school. So, is Erika actually his classmate from college?
Thank you for the translation! I really appreciate your hardwork!
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Yes, you’re right. Sorry, I made a loooot of mistakes this chapter!
Didn’t even change it because I never realised my fingers wrote high school.
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No problem!
I’m very thankful that you’re translating this for us. ^_^ I believe everyone is grateful, too!
Keep up the good work and don’t push yourself too much, ok?
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I warned you about Ichibokura gurl. I warned you!
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There is no problem eating a lot once per week! A lot of people do that, having one cheat day per week.
The problem is your cheat day is everyday!
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“I was fooled by Alice’s owner’s sweet words, and before I knew it I had transformed into Humpty Dumpty…”
plus the Chopin’s Op. 66 and others as well
I’m swayding about what they teach at Zui’ran.
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Free from deception(?)
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