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Chapter 23 – “Criminals need to be punished.” (Opening)
“…Girly …into your body until I’m satisfied …sopping mess…”
“What ‘sopping mess’, you goddamned pervertt!”
I smacked a flying kick into Or’s head. He flew towards the wall, and crashed with a thud. He just fell to the floor.
Huu, I seriously doubted my ears, you know. Are you some middle aged pervert!
I couldn’t hear some parts, but it was obvious that Or was threatening to assault Jessica-chan. Perhaps his friends were shocked at my sudden appearance, because they stared dumbfounded.
Jessica-chan seemed to be a little spaced out. The horrifying tension she had earlier was gone.
I’m sorry. That was scary, right? A bunch of fully-grown men surrounded you in the dozens, and tried to assault you. Just how huge of a trauma is this going to leave…
Jessica-chan, you can feel relieved. Because I’m going to thoroughly punish them.
But still, coincidence or not, I’m glad I made it. A friend of mine was almost hurt, and my acquaintances almost walked down a path of no-return.
Let’s go back in time a little.
After rinsing my mouth, I took off ahead of Timu and the others in order to catch up with Jessica-chan, when my eyes beheld a scene that I couldn’t overlook. A huge group of men were surrounding a girl.
I’ve heard that during major disasters like this, the people start to go mad, but it seems that’s really the case. Even in my old life, whenever there was a natural disaster overseas, there would always be heaps of news about men assaulting women. I guess it really must be some physiological instinct to leave behind children.
What should I do? Right now, that exact thing is happening. Do I save her, or do I go for help?
Or so I was wondering, when I discovered that the victim was none other than Jessica-chan.
Aahh, oh my god…
I was only shocked for a moment. Because upon closer examination, the assailants were also people I knew.
Yeah. Yesterday, these guys ditched guiding us, and then ended up being scolded by me. Or and the rest. Acquaintances of the Praetorian Guard.
Honestly, I was just astonished. Forgetting to guide us is something you can smile away, but to think that they would actually commit a crime like this, is…
So I immediately dropped a flying kick at Or’s head. Of course, I could already tell that Or was as weak as Pervert(Nielsen), so I made sure to go pretty easy on him.
Now then, I have to get these guys to apologise.
After grabbing Or by the neck after he stood up unsteadily, I forcefully dragged him to Jessica-chan.
“Now then. Apologise to Jessica-chan. You’re going to put your head against the ground, and ask for forgiveness.”
“Hahh, hahh, hahh. Guh-, w-, what… hap… pened?”
“Enough! Lower your head!”
“W-, Why must I, to the likes of a hu――”
“Ahh, I’m really irritated now.”
I grabbed Or’s head in a claw, and forced his head down. Or’s whole body trembled.
“Aah, Jessica-chan, I’m sorry. It must’ve been scary, right?”
“Yes, of course it was scary but, more importantly――”
“I know, I know. After planning on doing something as serious and perverted as that, an apology like this won’t do at all, right?”
“I-, It doesn’t have anything to do with perversion, but…”
“O~kayyy. Sorry, it was indelicate of me to make you remember, wasn’t it. Anyway, shall we have you give him a few punches first?”
I violently thrust Or’s face before Jessica-chan. She looked a little bewildered.
“U-, Um, Tilea-san, we aren’t getting anywhere, so could I leave this place to you? I need to immediately head to Headquarters.”
“Ahh, that’s right. You’re worried about your friend, right? Got it. I’ll make sure to get these guys in your place.”
“Haha… Please do.”
With that, Jessica-chan immediately ran off.
Now then. What to do.
While I was racking my brains on what to do, perhaps Or was finally feeling better, because he began to complain.
“Tilea-sama, why am I being treated this way?”
“Are you seriously asking that? What were you thinking, attacking a girl like that?”
“I do not understand what you are saying. Why mustn’t we attack humans? Are you an ally of the humans, Tilea-sama?”
Honestly, he’s not reflecting at all. Far from it, he’s trying to cover up his sins with chuunibyou. Does this guy even realise how serious this is? In my past life, he’d have definitely been sent to the slammer for attempted gang rape. And what’s more, in this world he might even be executed for it, and yet…
“Or, listen up! You don’t understand what you’ve done at all. You’ve committed an unforgivable sin, you know.”
“C, Certainly, our mission was to annihilate the vampires. I admit that we ran counter to our orders, but we were simply destroying the demons for the sake of the Evil God Army, and for your sake, Tilea-sama.”
HAHH? MY SAKEE?
What ‘my sake’. Of all things, you’re trying to shift the responsibility to me, bozo?
“My god, far from reflecting, you’re even avoiding responsibility? I’m so astounded my mouth can barely close.”
“Tilea-sama, you are being too merciless towards Captain Ortissio.”
One of Or’s friends came to his defence.
Why the fuck are these guys acting like they’re unrelated to this?
“You know, you guys share the same crime for attacking a girl.”
“”T-, That can’t be…””
“Not ‘that can’t be’. You know, I don’t want a bunch like you lot to be hanging around Timu anymore.”
“W-, Whatever do you mean by that?”
“Exactly as it sounds. I’m firing you from your role as Timu’s Praetorian Guard.”
I gestured across the neck.
“W-, What an unbelievable remark… Ever since we concealed ourselves in the Capital, we have been working to the bone for your sake, Tilea-sama!”
“Good work, good work. From now on you can tell that to the prison guard!”
“S-, Such rudeness! Unforgivable!”
Or and his dozens of friends circled around me.
Fumu, did I stir them up a bit much?
Since they’re a bunch who would even assault a little girl, I accidentally snapped.
“Could it be, you plan on attacking me too?”
They replied with silence. In other words, an affirmative.
Shit, if it was just Or by himself, I’m confident I could beat him, but as you’d expect it’ll be difficult to break through dozens of adult men, huh?
The saving grace is that all of them are the same tier as Pervert(Nielsen). Even still, there’s the threat of numbers, so I might be in a bit of a pinch.
No, no, I’ve even defeated demons before. Why am I saying something so weak for. Scum like this who’ll even assault a girl? I’ll beat them all to pieces!
I slowly approached Or. It looks like they were looking for the right timing to attack. We’re staring each other down.
And then, after glaring at each other for a while…
“Tilea-sama, reporting in. All vampires in the Capital have been annihilated.”
came a familiar voice.
Ooo, Pervert(Nielsen) came. Thank goodness. With this many people, it would’ve been a hard fight even for me. But now that Pervert(Nielsen) and the others have come, we can rival them in numbers. Or and the others have lost the numerical advantage. With this, even they should be resigning themselves.
As expected, Or and the others started to become incredibly flustered. It looks like they’re really regretting doing something so stupid. I turned to Pervert(Nielsen) and called out to him.
“Yeah, everybody, really, well done on exterminating the vampires!”
“Your honoured praise is the acme of joy to us. Although we are incompetent, we are overjoyed to have been of use!”
“Yep, yep, really, you’ve done well. Unlike these guys!”
I turned back to shoot a glare through them. They winced, terribly.
“Mumu! What a dangerous atmosphere. Tilea-sama, what on earth happened?”
“While you guys were busy exterminating vampires, of all things, these guys were attacking a little girl. Unbelievable, right?”
“What! And how was that? Don’t tell me that they were attacking a mere, lone girl?”
“O-, Of course not. We took prisoner of the head of the Public Security Force. And said captain, Remilia, was bound and in our grasp.”
“Mn? Wait. “Was”? Why past tense?”
“W-, Well, that is because after we caught her, somebody interfered, and they are running away right this moment.”
“Fumu, a failure unlike you lot. And why did you catch her? Our military law states that you should have killed her on the spot.”
“T-, That is, well…”
“What? Speak clearly!”
Mn? Mn? Mn? What have these guys been talking about all this time?
They’re speaking so much chuuni that they’ve lost track of the issue here. The problem is that they were about to assault a little girl. About to commit a crime.
“Niel, do you get it? These guys committed a crime, you know.”
“Yes, milady. I certainly do understand. I will question Ortissio to see if he was following the rules of our Camilla Unit. If in his conduct, there was negligence or pride, that is certainly a problem.”
I-, It’s no good. I left the talking to Pervert(Nielsen), but that was a mistake to begin with. If left to Pervert(Nielsen), it wouldn’t be strange even if a talk about a sexual assault turned into a plan to exterminate humanity.
“Y-, You guys, stop right there. You know, what I want to say is that why did my order, ‘Exterminate the vampires!’ turn into assaulting a little girl. There’s obviously something wrong here!”
“As I said, that was for the sake of your ambitions, Tilea-sama, and…”
“Tilea-sama. Ortissio and the others certainly interpreted your orders broadly, but I can see that their actions were for the sake of the Evil God Army.”
“Aahh~ You don’t get it at all either, Niel. You know, these guys are saying they did everything for my sake, but that’s wrong, isn’t it!”
“It is not. We truly――”
“Enough! Attacking a girl for my sake? Hah! Just hearing that makes me sick. You lot were simply driven by your own desires! It’s clear as day, you know.”
“Uu-, t-, that is…”
I hit the bullseye, and they began to lose their words. Even Pervert(Nielsen) and the others widened their eyes at my words.
“I see. Ortissio, for the sake of your pride, you violated orders. I more or less understand that you attacked the Public Safety Force in retaliation for yesterday. Honestly, of course it makes sense that Tilea-sama is angry!”
“C-, Certainly if I said that it had nothing to do with pride, I would be lying. But annihilating humans has no demerits for the Evil God Army. Yet despite that, Tilea-sama insulted us, and then forced us to bow to the likes of a human!”
Or got excited and then started telling at Pervert(Nielsen). Honestly, how unsightly.
“That’s right. And then in your anger, you were about to attack me too, right?”
“Wha-!? Is this true, you curs! Of all things… HAVE YOU NO SHAAAMEEE!?”
Pervert(Nielsen) gripped Or’s collars in a rage. Fumu. It’s rare to hear Pervert(Nielsen) say something decent.
Pervert(Nielsen) looked ready to attack Or at any time. I’m a little happy that he’s so angry for me. But still, Or and the rest really used a dirty hand.
To begin with, the Praetorian Guard are a gathering of Timu’s fans. The only reason they’re supporting me is because I’m Timu’s older sister. You could say that they were being polite with me because I was the relative of their beloved idol. Or jabbed at that point, and was trying to overthrow me using it.
In other words, a ‘Timu is my number one, so what the hell is this guy? Don’t act so full of yourself!’ sort of thing? I bet Or and the others weren’t fond of me to begin with.
Timu supported me, so I turned into the ‘Evil God’ and the symbol of this group. But from Or’s group’s point of view, I bet they’re thinking ‘Are you misunderstanding something! Step down!’ and the like. It’s not as though I cant understand their feelings as fans.
But that doesn’t mean that what they’ve done can be forgiven.
What should I do? How can I reform this self-centred lot?
While my head was hurting from thinking, Or and his lot were trying really hard to gain allies. He had gotten heated up, and had drawn near Pervert(Nielsen).
“I know that you and Camilla-sama were defeated by the Evil God. But, just because of one or two defeats, why must we fall under her banner? This is not like you, Squad Captain. If we group together, even if she is the Evil God――”
What’s this? What’s this? What they’re saying to get followers is way too stupid. So just because I’m staying quiet and listening, they think they can say whatever they want, huh! Trying to get the Praetorian Guard to join together and beat me up, huh! No matter how silly Pervert(Nielsen) might be, even he wouldn’t do something so injust. How on earth would anybody listen to the words of cowards like you.
“What unbelieve fooli-… Just those words alone are worth certain death. And Ortissio. You seem to be misunderstanding. Even if all of us attacked at once, we would still not reach the soles of her feet. Tilea-sama’s mighty power is in another dimension to ours.”
“The Capital Concealment Unit doesn’t understand her mighty power at all.”
“Yeah, yeah. Tilea-sama should just use her 『Baban Stresh』 to tear them to pieces.”
“Honestly, Ortissio is such a fool. Tilea-sama should give him a taste of hell with her Seven Hundred and Seventy Seven secret techniques.”
The people on Pervert(Nielsen)’s side were taking no heed of Or’s words. A little, or rather, a lot of chuuni lines were mixed in there, but anyway, they were furiously condemning Or and the others.
In other words, everybody is astounded by Or’s bullshit. Yeah. I’m glad you all understand what I’m saying. But you know, please stop asking for me to punish him with ‘Baban Stresh’. Or rather, please forget I ever mentioned that. Why is it that they all still freaking remember that one time?
Phew, well whatever. It’s obvious how everyone feels now. With this atmosphere, I’m sure Or realises just how stupid a thing he’s said.
“Or, you can tell just how astounded everybody is with you, right? Reflect on just how absurd your words have been.”
The people around me all nodded strongly. Perhaps they now realised just how stupid they had been, Or’s group all had pale complexions. It looks like after everybody condemned them, they finally realised just how grave a thing they had done.
All that’s left is to decide on how to settle this, but…
“You lot, what is the meaning of this!”
Oohh, Timu and Myuu have arrived. With this, everybody’s here.