There’s a term in Japanese that goes ‘Idiots can’t be cured until they die.’ that roughly equates to ‘once an idiot, always an idiot’.
Second of all, you sometimes see in Japanese motifs and stuff, things about ‘sharing the same sky’ or having ‘this sky connected to the sky of your hometown’ etc. Just keep that in mind.
Finally, I couldn’t figure out a good way to translate ‘KITAAAAAAAAA!’. I’m sorry. But I googled ‘KITAAAAAAAAA’ and English-speakers seem to use it, so good enough.

Chapter 14 – “I met an elf.”

“I am Evil God Dark――wai-, don’t just suddenly speed up――GOBAH-!”

“Anybody? Is anybody in!?”

I woke up to the sound of door knocks and a sudden voice.

Ha-? No good, no good. It seems I dozed off.

But still, what a horrible dream. It’s been a while since I’ve had a flashback to the dark history of my old life.

Today is a fixed holiday for the shop, so Mum and Dad are at the market buying ingredients. My sister Timu is apparently out playing with Pervert(Nielson). Right now I’m at home alone taking care of the house.

And on a day off like this, a sudden visitor came in the early afternoon.

Who could it be?

All the regular customers know that we’re off today. Even if it’s a customer that didn’t know, there’s a sign out front, so they should’ve noticed but…

While feeling confused about this, I stood up and headed to the door.

And when I opened the door, there was…

A beautiful face like a work of art. Incredibly clear white skin. Long hair that shone gold. A beauty with such perfect proportions that even a first-rate model would pale in defeat.

And finally, what drew the eyes more than any of that, were the distinctive pointed ears…

Right; there stood the typical fantasy being, an elf.

“E-, Elf…”

“I am indeed an elf. My name is Remilia. There’s a little something I’d like to inquire, you see…”

“Elf. KITAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

My excitement showing no signs of receding, I hugged Remilia-tan and began touching her body all over without restraint.

Aaah~ This is an elf’s body? It’s sooo soft!

Arms, legs, hips, breast; I diligently rubbed and hugged each part.

“O-, Oi. W-, What are you doing all of a sudden!”

I ignored Remilia-tan, and hugging her more tightly, I began to sniff.

Sniff, sniff~

S-, So this is the scent of an elf…? What a complex fragrance!

I can’t stand this. I can’t stop.

Hahh, hahh, elf. Hahh, hahh, elf.

“O-, Oi, stop it! What are you thinking!”

“Hahh, hahh, Remilia-tan. Smell so good…”

“Cut it out. Let go! …Mu! You’re quite strong despite your looks.”

Hahh, hahh, Remilia-tan. You’re the best!

My excitement further escalated, and I began to lick those finely pointed ears.

“H-, Hyaan! Y-, YOU!”

“Hyaaahoooo!”

After having my fill of Remilia-tan, I parted from her and dashed outside the shop. And then, as I looked into the sky, I recalled my previous life in Japan. I had faith that this sky was connected to the one in Japan, as I took a deep breath.

And then…

“SERRRVESSS YOUUUU RIGHTTTTTT! Inoue, you really loved elves right? I hugged an elf you know. I sniffed one you know. And I nibbled their ear you know. Do you know what an elf’s ear tastes like? Ehehe, an elf’s ear tastes like elf♪ What ‘find a job’? Will finding a job let you meet elves? Will it let you touch elves? Smell elves? IT’S MY WIN! HYAAAHOOOOO! I’M THA WINNER, YAAAAY!”

“Y-, You fool!”

While I yelled loudly towards the sky, Remilia-tan thrust the sword at her waist towards me. Seeing that bloodthirst, my mind jolted back to reality.

――Ha-! What on earth have I been doing…?

When I had come back to my senses, I noticed that Remilia-san’s face was bright red, and that the tip of a sword was pointed right in front of my eyes.

“Hiee-, I-, I’m sorry. I’m very sorry, h-, hey don’t stab me!”

The sword shone with a black lustre and seemed to be very sharp. Is it a famous sword?

E-, Even though she’s an elf, she’s not using a bow, is she. Or so I was thinking, when the tip of the sword began to draw closer and closer.

“Uwahh! W-, Wait a moment, wait. You’re stabbing me!”

“Hmph, you rude… I’ll have you die!”

“Hi-, h-, hwaaaah, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Wahh-, they were lying when they said that death would cure stupidity, weren’t theyyy. I died once, but I’m not cured at alll! Hii-, waah, waahhh, hic-, s-, sorry, Timu. Forgive your unfortunate sister for leaving this world firstt. Hic-, wahh, hii-, wahhhh, don’t stab meee!”

I begged her as tears ran from my eyes, without paying attention to how I looked. When I did, perhaps my desperation was conveyed to Remilia-san, because the bloodthirst in her eyes weakened.

“――Tsk. The next time will cost you your life!”

“Y-, Yes. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

I-, It seems I somehow got her to forgive me. Remilia-san is too scary.

Ahh~ But still, my old disease relapsed. Even though I thought I was cured――

How dreadful. Is this the so-called charm of an elf? In my old life I died from jumping in front of a truck, and in this life I almost died from sexually harassing an elf. There really should be a limit to stupidity.

*imouto*

“And so, what was it that you wanted to ask me?”

Fixing gears, I invited Remilia-san into the shop, and asked her about her original goal.

“Umu. The truth is, last month I assumed office as Chief of the Capital’s Public Safety Force, but these last few days, an ominous eddy of mana in the north-west was detected from the Capital.”

“An ominous mana…?”

“That’s right. Almost like the mana of the demons that rampaged in the Great War of old. And it was close to Beruga Town that the mana was the strongest. If the demons resurrected, then it would be very dangerous. Have you heard any relevant rumours around here?”

“Pff-, ahahaha! Remilia-san, there’s no way I’ve heard such a bloody story in a rural place like this.”

“T-, That shouldn’t be the case! At the very least, I even managed to collide with a large mana in my search yesterday. There should be some kind of information. Are there any missing townsfolk? People found brutally murdered or the like?”

“No, far from any dead people, nobody has even been wounded.”

“Then have any suspicious people or groups been spotted? On the way here, I received eyewitness reports from villagers about seeing an unknown group.”

“Like I saidd, there’s nobody like that. It’s peaceful in these parts. Those reports were probably talking about people who gathered from far away for an event.”

“What is an ‘event’?”

“If I said ‘cosplay’, you wouldn’t understand, right? Ummm, I suppose you could say people who are having fun acting as the Demon King Army――”

“Demon King Army!?”

“No, no. They aren’t actually the real Demon King Army, it’s just an event where they pretend to be the Demon King Army to have fun.”

“What kind of game is that? I don’t understand it. Explain!”

“――Ummm, basically, you see, they pretend to be the Demon King Army and pretend to fight. For example, firing spells called Star Freya[Super Demonic Star Magic Bullets], or,”

“Star Freya![Super Demonic Star Magic Bullets]! That’s the ancient and ultimate spell that only the demon Camilla could use, you know!”

“No, no, I suppose you could say that it’s a novice magic that they pretend is an ultimate magic――Hmmm, explaining is pretty hard, huh~”

“EEI! We’re making no progress. Do you know the person in charge of that event? I’ll ask him for the details.”

“The one who’s in charge of the event is Hidler-san.”

“Hidler, you say! That’s the name of the demon feared as the right hand man of the Demon King, you know!”

“No, like I said, that’s also just the name that he’s going by. His real name is something else. What is his real name, anyway…? I don’t know it.”

But still, that event really outdid itself, huh. So Hidler-san made sure to use the name of a real demon from the ancient war. Speaking of which, Timu is going as Camilla after all, so wasn’t it obvious that Hidler wasn’t his real name?

“That’s enough. Then could you guide me to the place that event was being held?”

“Eh!? Remilia-san, could it be that you’re going to arrest the participants?”

“I’m just going to make sure that they aren’t demons. If they’re really just playing, I’m not going to arrest them. Only, they’d be quite an imprudent bunch, so I might give them a stern warning though.”

Aahh~ Why has Remilia-san been so serious about these imaginary Demon Kings or demons or whatever…

――Ha-!? It’s that!

Right, it’s like in my old life those rookie detectives who grew up watching and admiring police dramas. Right, right, in police dramas they’d get into gunfights with criminals at the drop of a hat, or places would be invaded by terrorists, but real life isn’t like that.

Remilia-san said that she just entered the Capital’s Public Safety Force, so she’s probably a bit too passionate. I guess she’s misunderstanding the culprit’s mana as “the Demon King is resurrecting” or “demons are doing bad things” or the like. Even though that stuff isn’t real.

If she sees Timu and the others playing, Remilia-san should understand that it’s just play as well.

But…

Remilia-san seems like the type that would be a stickler for the rules. She seems the type who would say things like “the crime of bringing chaos to the world” or “disrespect towards the royal family” and arrest Hidler-san and all the working dads.

In other words, if I bring Remilia-san there, this is how it’ll play out.

『You lot! You’re under arrest for the crime of lèse-majesté, for doing this disrespectful nonsense!』

『P-, Please wait. This is simply a game, and――』

『You would mock the royal family as a game! You become more and more disgraceful. This is a heavy crime. Capital punishment!』

『D-, Dear, it can’t be! Why would you do such a…』

『Waaaah, Papa. Are you going to be arrested?』

『T-, To think the company president would so something like…』

『What are we employees going to do without the president…?』

Hmmmm, just thinking about it seems like it would trouble Hidler-san, the people participating, and all their families!

And what’s more, Timu is participating right now. At this rate, even Timu might get arrested and be stuck with a criminal record. I need to stop Remilia-san no matter what.

“Ahh~ Remilia-san, speaking of which, I’ve remembered. I spotted a suspicious customer here at the restaurant. He seemed kind of demon-ey.”

“W-, What did you say!? What were his characteristics?”

“U-, Um~mm, he was wearing a hood so I couldn’t actually see his face. But I heard him talk about hiding in the Capital.”

“I see. I appreciate your cooperation. I shall immediately return to the Capital and investigate.”

Mn, mn, please do. It’s the Capital, so you can probably find plenty of suspicious thieves or criminals if you search there. It’s for the sake of the world that you arrest people like that instead of looking for Demon Kings and demons. Try your best, okay~?

<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

It was too hard to convey, but both of them use polite Japanese, because they’re in a formal setting. Tilea, or rather, Shioda, whines and complains a lot, but his speech is always polite and humble.

Also, if you don’t already know:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Company_%28Japanese_term%29
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ABCD_line

Side Story – “Evil God Dark Matter descends!”

“Shioda-saaan.”

“Here.”

Called up, I cheerfully headed to the welfare consultation counter.

“Shioda-san. You know, we can’t pay you anymore.”

“Ehhhh, why not!?”

This guy only just opened his mouth, and already spouted something outrageous. Welfare(生活保護), the so-called namapo(生保), is Evil God Dark Matter’s only source of money. If they don’t pay me welfare, then the very foundation of my Evil God Life will be overturned. I was incredibly panicked.

“You know, originally welfare was supposed to be paid to those who want to work but can’t. No matter how you look at it, you look fit to work, don’t you!”

R-, Ridiculous!

My acting-, I mean, the ‘Can’t Work Aura’ born from my depression should have been flawless, but…

“No, but, lately, my head has been aching, and my chronic depression hasn’t been healed. I definitely can’t work, and――”

“You know, not wanting to work does not qualify you for welfare. And also, if you’re depressed then please bring me a medical certificate.”

What…? You doubt me!?

To begin with, usually the counter is manned by Kinoshita-san, so why is this guy here?

It can’t be that Kinoshita-san was axed, right?

Good heavens! I had never even considered the possibility that Kinoshita-san who so easily-, I mean, Kinoshita-san who would understand and sympathise with me and plainly do their job, would be gone. And also, I already gave Kinoshita-san a medical certificate, so why are they asking for it after all this time?

“Excuse me, I’ve already handed in a medical certificate, though…”

Hearing my words, the man pulled out a document from a file.

“You know, you did hand in a medical certificate, but that was from ten years ago so it’s invalid. You’re already healed, aren’t you!?”

“N-, No, I’m not.”

“Then please present a new medical certificate.”

“In the past I could receive my payments even without a new medical certificate, but――”

“The mayor changed, so the regulations have gotten stricter. This district in particular has a lot of welfare frauds, so the mayor ordered us to be particularly strict.”

WHAT!? Doing the uncalled for…

If he’s the mayor then there’s plenty of other stuff he should be doing! Create needless libraries, or go on needless business trips, or do some other mayor-like things!

Cutting my only source of income…

What do I do? Should I try negotiating? If I get some money now, I’ll be able to work things out later, or rather, I’ll think of some other plan later. Right now I need this month’s payment.

“Right now I have no money. I’ll bring it back later, so could I receive a payment first?”

“No. If you need money no matter what, how about working?”

With that, the man handed over a job-seeking magazine, and sent me out as though to tell me to go away.

Ku-! Who does that foolish lower-middle class think I am…?

I am Evil God Dark Matter! What do you mean, welfare fraud, you fool!

Who do you think you have to thank for your carefree life? It’s because of the Evil God’s mighty power than the Earth is safe. If I wasn’t here, the Earth would be overtaken by the forces of evil in a second.

As I muttered in complaint, I left the welfare office.

-guuuu-

My empty stomach rang out. Speaking of which, I haven’t eaten since this morning. I took out my wallet from my pocket, and had a look inside.

――Total: ¥38

I can’t even buy an onigiri.

Starvation tactics; a time-old scheme, but the damage is terrible. You forces of evil, how fearsome.

Indeed; in fear of Evil God Dark Matter, they finally even reached their hands into the power of the state to cut off my source of funds. The reason why I couldn’t receive money this time even though I’ve always been receiving it is surely that.

But this nation is pathetic as well. To allow themselves to be manipulated by the forces of evil…

Honestly, so pathetic. SO PATHETIC! The country of all things!

I continued to scream, alone on the swings.

A few dozen minutes later…

Hahh~ Should I go get a job…?

I flipped through the job brochure that I was given a while ago, and had a look. “A cheerful and cosy company. A fulfilling job awaits you.” it read.

…What ‘cheerful and cosy company’? It’s probably just a company that half forces you to go to company outings and drinking parties, right? And if you try and distance yourself from that social circle, then they ostracise you, and the bullying goes full-blown. There’s no doubt about it.

I won’t be fooled! You damned black company!

I turned the page. “We’re looking for people with enthusiasm. Hardworkers will be considered for shop manager, and executive managers. You can fulfil your dreams.” it read.

…Enthuuusiasmm? Fulfillll your dreamsss? An idealistic company like this can’t fucking distinguish gung-ho from business sense! I’ll bet that if you can’t meet your quota, they’ll just give you some dated physical punishment and corner you emotionally.

I won’t be fooled! You damned black company!

I looked through every corner of the job brochure, but there wasn’t even a single bit of promise, and it was all filled with black companies.

Fufu. Even if you fool the masses, Evil God Dark Matter will not be fooled! AHAHAHA!

I stood by myself on top of the jungle-gym and continued to scream.

Thirty minutes later…

Hahh~ Should I just ask Comrade Inoue for a favour…?

There’s also the option of borrowing money from Inoue, my friend of many years, to get through the short-term.

If I bow my head, then――no, he’s no longer a comrade. He definitely betrayed me. What the hell do you mean, “You’re already pretty old, Shioda, so you’d better think properly about your future.”? Just because you kinda got a job, you become that arrogant.

You’re just going to live a life of being squeezed dry by the capitalist pigs.

It’s sad, but you’re basically a slave for the rest of your life now. Even though you were once a comrade of Evil God Dark Matter… How pathetic.

What’s more, Inoue was once the president of the “We Super-Love Elves Society”, and for many years, I had supported him as the vice-president…

But despite that, he won’t even lend a hand to me when I’m in distress. You damned ingrate!

Hmph, I no longer need friends. I’ve already been abandoned by my parents. And now, I’ve even been abandoned by my country.

You forces of evil. Truly some ABCD encirclement-tiered pressure you’ve put on me. Even though it’s supposed to be times like this that I need the support…

Fine. That’s fine. I don’t have a single ally anyway.

Parents, friends, the nation; all of them are fools. If you’re going to be this hostile to me, then I have my own plans as well.

It seems that it’s time to put the final plan into action.

Its name is “ATAKKU TORAKKU ZA MANEH (Attack Truck The Money)”.

The plan is truly simple. First, I lie in hiding by the side of a road. Next, I look for as slow a car as possible. It doesn’t really matter even if the car isn’t a truck. Finally, I just dive in front of that car.

And there you have it! A plan that will give me funds before I know it.

I left the park, and hid by the side of a road with poor visibility. Trucks, buses, passenger vehicles all went by at great speed.

…T-, They seem painful, huh.

The cars that went past were going at 70 kilometres an hour. If I get hit by those, I might be mincemeat.

No, what am I being afraid of!

I’m the man who destroyed and remade this world, Evil God Dark Matter. What am I going to do if I’m afraid of the likes of a car? I am the chosen one, and will not die.

And then after cheering myself up, and watching in hiding for a few dozen minutes, I spotted a truck driving slowly. I watched the truck carefully.

○○○○ Construction…

A major construction contractor company. I bet they’re in cahoots with some politician and making pissloads of money anyway.

Hmph. Evil God Dark Matter shall free you of that money!

Timing it just so that the truck was coming by, I leapt forward without pause.

“I am Evil God Dark――wai-, don’t just suddenly speed up――GOBAH-!”

And like that, I lost consciousness.

<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Chapter 13 – “I defeated the enemy general.”

“Nielsen, how goes the battle?”

“Milady. Our forces number a little under 200, whilst the opposing Kira Unit have a little over 300. Although there is a difference in numbers, as Mühen’s guerilla unit carries out its duties, we maintain a status quo. And at last, we have lured that damnable Kira himself.”

“Hu, that damned Kira is surely exasperated.”

These past few days, Mühen’s unit have been attacking the Kira Unit. By exhausting Kira with guerilla warfare, it seems that Kira has grown tired of waiting. A move to be expected of a single-celled organism like Kira.

“Controlled by his anger, Kira has charged into the frontlines. They are all heading towards headquarters.”

“All right, I shall kill Kira! Nielsen, you round up the surviving members of Mühen’s unit and after Kira’s death, bring them to hunt down the remaining enemies!”

“As you will.”

Nielsen and I headed promptly to the battlefield. We ran with the strength of the demon race, enhanced with body reinforcement magic. That type of speed was not something common.

-ZAZA-
-ZAZA-

Leaving only footsteps behind on the plain, our two figures flashed by.

“Speaking of which, Nielsen, have you grown used to controlling your mana?”

I asked Nielsen, as we sprinted.

“Milady. Even now I can not properly suppress it, and the mana rages deep within my body.”

“I see. Mastering it at once is impossible. Even I have been struggling, and at last, have been able to reduce my mana to a tenth.”

“As expected of Camilla-sama.”

“Something at this level is still far from comparable to Oneesama.”

“No, no. Being able to suppress your enormous mana to a tenth is already a splendid accomplishment.”

“Pfft. Nielsen, you must try your best as well.”

“As you will. But still, Tilea-sama’s training methods were admirable.”

“I had also not believed that Oneesama was doing nothing but cooking, but to think that there was this kind of training method――”

The day that Nielsen also became Oneesama’s subordinate, Nielsen and I received orders to work in the kitchen.

Why did we receive such an order?

Even though with Oneesama’s power, the world could immediately be brought into her grasp. Why were we made to take such a detour? Could it be that she did not intend on walking the path of the conqueror?

…And then, I remembered.

Earlier, did Oneesama not say that she would guide me!?

Indeed. Oneesama wanted to train Nielsen and I before advancing on the path of the conqueror.

What a waste on two people like us!

But what kind of training is kitchenwork?

I agonised over it. I had considered asking Oneesama about her true intentions, but I did not want to discourage her by letting her know that I could not comprehend even this. And so I pondered on it desperately.
And then, I noticed something. Wasn’t I unable to feel Oneesama’s mana? Although Oneesama had that much mana, I could feel none of it surging from her.

Why?

However, when I carefully searched for mana, I discovered that deep within Oneesama’s body, lay an enormous mana. Oneesama was performing kitchenwork while suppressing that mana.

Mana is the source of power. Without mana, combat is unthinkable. Oneesama was keeping her mana suppressed so that it would not leave her body. Almost none of it did.

Why was she doing such a thing?

The time when Oneesama kicked Nielsen made me clearly understand it.

After Nielson came back from clearing out the scouts and had a few words with Oneesama, he suddenly suffered a kick.

In that moment, her mana rose to an incomparable level.

I felt that the scales had fallen from my eyes. Indeed; simply increasing our mana is not enough. Even with enormous mana, unless you can properly control it, you will be unable to demonstrate any satisfactory power.

Huhu, as expected of Oneesama. We demons thought of nothing but increasing our mana, and saw the control of the mana is secondary. Oneesama kept silent to have us realise this ourselves.

After that, Nielsen and I began suppressing our mana at all times, and endeavoured to reach the point where it was natural thing to do for us.

Working in the kitchen whilst controlling our mana was extremely difficult. It was work that required a high degree of competency. While concentrating on our mana, we often blundered. Just how many times had Nielsen accidentally overturned the cauldron…?

To regulate one’s mana while controlling one’s strength. I had never even dreamed that working in the kitchen would become such training.

Nielsen and I trained desperately each day, but could not manage to do things skilfully like Oneesama. Oneesama regulates her mana as naturally as breathing. And what’s more, she has her mana lowered to the level of a human.

Mana at the level of a human…

Because of that, I had also mistaken Oneesama to be a human at first. Holding down such powerful mana within herself and lowering it to the level of a human, and then performing her duties in the kitchen. It would require a huge amount of skill.

Oneesama is amazing. I must also learn from her example! Oneesama’s humongous mana may be one thing, but what will I do with myself if I cannot even suppress as little mana as mine!?

Even magic beasts so ferocious that they destroy boulders and tear up their prey can control their mana and sooth the babies they have given birth to. If the ignorant magic beasts can do so, then there is no way that we demons cannot.

Running for a a short while, whilst pondering the training over these last few days, I could suddenly hear a roaring sound.

“Are they close?”

“Yes. We will come into contact with the Kira Unit very soon.”

“I see. I am itching to test my arm against――Mu-!?”

At that moment, together with the sudden sound of an explosion, a huge hole opened up in the ground. It was a hole of 3 metres diameter, and deep enough that a normal person could not see its bottom. I could tell the power of the explosion.

“Tsk, I missed!?”

“Kira, huh? A surprise attack? A sly one as always.”

The demonic birdman, Kira…

One of the Six Demon Generals. Feared as Kira the Impaler, in the previous war, he skewered many humans on his great spear, and exposed their bodies to the air. His large wings, and those shining and ferocious eyes of his are his special characteristics.

“Heh heh, Camilla. To think that you would betray the Demon King Army. In other words, I can kill you openly now.”

“Hmph. You think that you can kill me?”

“You never change, ey? Arrogant enough that you could call it overconfidence. I really will have a good time killing you.”

“And you haven’t changed either; still a single-celled organism. However, single-celled though you may be, we were once comrades, and so I will personal perform your last rites. Feel grateful.”

“Kuh-, insisting on having the last word! You lot――! While I’m killing Camilla, make sure you don’t let any of the small fry escape. We’ll skewer every one of her comrades without fail!”

Having received their orders, the hundreds of Kira’s subordinates surrounded my unit.

Hmph, no matter how many smallfry you gather, they still aren’t anything worth mentioning!

“Nielsen, we proceed as planned. I will tidy up that fool.”

“As you will.”

After I gave Nielsen his orders, I turned to face Kira. He was tightly gripping the great spear in his hand. It isn’t a simple great spear. It is a great spear that is famed for hitting its target without missing, and striking through target and all at lightning speed; the divine weapon Gae Bolg. Because of all the blood it sucked in the previous war, it has gotten even sharper.

“Camilla, I’ll bring you down with one shot; you won’t be able to run!”

Kira drew out all the strength he could muster as he held up the great spear. Even if a defective one, he is still one of the Six Demon Generals, so the mana that he put into the spear far exceeded a normal demon’s.

“The throw of an idiot who only knows once trick, is it!?”

“Too much prattle! Secret Technique, Skymark![Super Demonic Sky Gap Slasher!]”

Kira threw the great spear at lightning speed. It happened at a speed that a human could not even see, and at a speed that by far surpassed a mid-class demon’s reaction speed. Even if a high-class could see it, they would probably struggle to dodge it.

However, I would be troubled if you group “Camilla of the Flash” together with any regular demon.

“Hmph.”

I twisted my upper body to avoid the incoming spear.

“Idiot. Did you think you could escape? No matter how one runs, my spear will always change its trajectory to stab you.”

The spear changed its trajectory to pierce me through the heart.

――GAKIN!

However, before it reached my heart, it stopped.

“Wha-!? What’s going on?”

“Fool. Did you forget that I am surrounded by my magic barrier at all times?”

“E-, Even so, to stop my surefire kill…”

“Something like this may have been impossible for me in the past. However, now that I have learned mana control, something of this level is no trouble.”

“M-, Mana control, you say?”

“That’s right. I bring my mana under control, amplify the mana in one section, and concentrate it into one point. I knew that an idiot like you would aim for the heart as usual, after all.”

Indeed; I knew that it would come towards my heart. Even in the previous war, this idiot would single-mindedly aim for the opponent’s heart. If you know where it’s going to hit, no matter how fast it is, dodging it is easy after all, and you can even concentrate your barrier into one point to meet the attack.

After grabbing the spear that had been stopped by my barrier, I threw it away with all my power. The spear drew a parabola in the air, and disappeared deep into the forest.

“Given that you have no use other than spear throwing, this is your loss now.”

“DON’T MAKE FUN OF ME! DIEEEEEEEEEE!”

Kira let out an angry scream before amplifying his mana and shooting magic bullets at me. Countless magic bullets appeared from his hands.

“Oh? You want to compete with me in magic? How amusing!”

I shot magic bullets as well, not losing to him. The bullets of we two Demon Generals collided. Together with an incredible roar, the nearby trees, rocks, and earth were all gouged away, one after another.
There were even soldiers injured by the blast. Dozens, hundreds, of bullets flew each way.

And then…

“Hahh, hahhhh, hahhh… W-, Why are you―― so-, so relaxed…?”

Kira was wheezing due to our exchange of magic bullets. His face was pale, and his whole body ran with sweat. Because he fired magic bullets without pause, there is no doubt that his mana has run dry.

“When you go all out with your mana in the beginning like an idiot, this is what happens. What’s important is mana control. Here comes the finisher, Kira.”

In order to fire my secret technique, I began to chant. And then a magic circle appeared.

“P-, Please wait!”

“I won’t wait. O magic bullets, become countless stars. Star Freya![Super Demonic Star Magic Bullets!]”

“Hi-, HIEEE!”

Kira flapped his wings and rose into the air to escape the bullets. He shouldn’t have had any energy left, but I suppose this was his final struggle to live. He frantically flapped his wings up and down.

“Foolishness. My magic bullets track their mark. You may die now!”

The countless magic bullets followed the rising Kira, and struck into him. One of those magic bullets has enough power to erase a low level demon. And hundreds, thousands, of those were raining upon him.

“UGYAHHHH!”

Together with his death throes, the sky resounded with an explosion, like fireworks.

“Hmph. That was too good of a technique to waste on you.”

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All I translated tonight. Throbbing headache, and feeling irritable …because of the throbbing headache. Also wow. Syosetu has finally implemented ruby text. Maybe machine translators will stop getting confused now.

Also uh, I think I might translate some of the ‘ha-!(sir)’s as ‘milady’ instead of ‘understood’ where appropriate. I didn’t want to use ma’am, so I guess milady should do fine.

Chapter 12 – “This dog is a hardcore NEET.”

It’s been a week since I hired Pervert(Nielson). Even now, I haven’t seen Pervert(Nielson) work seriously. Or rather, he can’t even bring himself to stay in the shop during opening hours.

Belnandes, was it…?

Probably one of Pervert(Nielson)’s unemployed buddies. Anyway, he frequently comes to the shop to bring Pervert(Nielson) away.

Pervert(Nielson) then spouts stuff like “Tilea-sama. It seems that the scouts of the Demon King Army are lurking nearby. Hmph, please pay it no heed. I shall immediately tidy them up.” before leaving.

Each time, I have no choice but to clean up after him. I bow to dad, and do the work set out for Pervert(Nielson) in his stead. As Pervert(Nielson)’s boss, being unable to properly guide him is something I take responsibility for.

I thought about scolding him harshly.

And obviously! Who on earth would just ignore an employee who randomly ditches work!?

But this is the first time that Pervert(Nielson) has worked in his life. There’s no doubt that his willpower is soft like tofu. If I scold him, there’s basically a 100% chance that he’ll give up. I mean, after all, having never worked in his almost 60 years of life, Pervert(Nielson) is a hardcore NEET. Looking at this in the long term, I have to bring up Pervert(Nielson) properly. I shouldn’t be scolding him, and instead praising him and raising his ability. This is something I resolved myself upon when I hired him.

――Alright. Let’s have a talk with him. First off I’ll look for Pervert(Nielson)’s few good points, and praise him to bring out his will to work!

“Niel, there’s something I need to talk――”

“Mu!? It seems that scouts have appeared again. Well then, I shall head off to clean them up.”

Pervert(Nielson) flew out of the shop again.

Huhuhu, this is the first time――the first time that I’ve met a dummy that’s made a fool of me to this extent…

After that, when Pervert(Nielson) returned, I properly gave him a harsh scolding.

..*

A few days later, while racking my brains about Pervert(Nielson) who hadn’t shown any growth, I could hear a voice calling for me. The source of the voice was the source of my recent worries, Pervert(Nielson).

“Tilea-sama! Tilea-sama!”

“What is it this~ time? Did the Demon King revive or something?”

“No, things are still all right on that front.”

“Then what?”

“Milady. The offensives of the Kira Unit have been intensifying as of late, and before long I will need to take command on the front lines. Please forgive my absence from headquarters for a while.”

Huu~ In other words, you want to take a break, huh? Even though you’ve been ditching work that much, working is still painful? I guess even if I tell him no at this point, he’ll just lose motivation and it’ll have the opposite effect.

――Can’t be helped. For now I’ll just let him do things at his own pace, and ask him how often he can work.

“Then, how often can you come to work?”

“Milady. It depends on the development of the battle, but I believe that I will be able to return to headquarters once a week.”

Yep, there it is. A working week with a 6 day weekend; you’re making light of working, aren’t you!? In what universe is there a company that allows people to rest 6 days a week!?

And what’s more, saying that you’re fighting the Demon King Army…

That’s like saying you’re not going to work because you’re going off the play!

Huu~ Huu~ Calm down. CALM DOWN, TILEA!

I squeezed out all of the maternal instinct that I had. If I can feel like a mother watching over her child, I’ll be able to calm down.

……

…………

……………………

――Okay, I’m calm. Right. It isn’t time to rampage yet. Although it’s only once a week, Pervert(Nielson) still intends on working after all. I can just instil the common sense of a worker into Pervert(Nielson) from here on.

But wow, that event is still going on…?

It seems that Armoured Man-san, I mean, Hidler-san is still going at it. I’ve heard this from Pervert(Nielson), but apparently Armoured Man-san’s name is actually ‘Hidler’. It sounds totally like the name of some Demon King.

But still, the offensives of the Kira Unit?

It’s not the Demon King Resurrection Event anymore.

“What’s Kira?”

“Milady. With Camilla-sama’s cessation from the Demon King Army, the cautious Hidler may be a different matter, but as for the belligerent of the Six Demon Generals, we had predicted that they would begin to move. Amongst them is Kira. To begin with, he did not think well of Camilla-sama, and had been looking for an excuse to quarrel with her.”

…Oi you. Do you really think that anyone would know what you’ve been talking about?

Only I can understand your chuunibyou, you know. It’s really lucky that I was somebody reincarnated, huh?

In other words, what Pervert(Nielson) wants to say is this!

『Hey, hey. Hidler-san. Is Camilla-chan really quitting?』

『It’s true. Her older sister came to bring her home.』

『Ehhhh? Serious? Then won’t the Six Demon Generals just be the Five Demon Generals? It loses its ring.』

『Honestly, for the sake of this event I had to slave away at work without holiday, you know!』

『Yeah, yeah! We can’t just change our members at this point!』

『Calm down now, everybody. We can’t trouble her family.』

『You’re too soft, Hidler-san! Just as we were thinking about how she suddenly barged in, now she’s suddenly quitting? I’m going to go complain a little!』

is probably how the conversation went.

Thinking that Kira was coming to complain a little to Timu about suddenly quitting, I guess Nielsen isn’t just thinking about playing about either. He’s going to convince Kira after all.

“Got it, Niel. I’ll leave this matter to you, alright?”

“Understood-! I shall risk my life to serve.”

“Oneesama. From a long time ago, that guy and I have had our fates crossed. I would like to ask for permission to head to the battlefront as well.”

Oohh! Timu, you were listening too, huh? Timu suddenly joined the conversation I was having with Pervert(Nielson). Well, there’s no reason that the chuunibyou Timu wouldn’t get onboard with Pervert(Nielson)’s chuunibyou.

But I wonder if it’ll be okay for Timu to go. Will the chuunibyou Timu be able to apologise properly? If things go wrong, it might get more complicated…

No, doing nothing but pampering isn’t real love. This matter is something that Timu should apologise for herself. Timu caused them problems while she was playing with them after all. You have to properly apologise to the people that you trouble, after all.

“You’re right. Timu, you should go too. Make sure to properly take responsibility for this,”

“Of course, Oneesama.”

Yupyup. Timu has also gotten stronger before I knew it.

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Chapter 11 – “Iron Wall Nielsen has humbly come.”

“Huhu, I have Tilea-sama’s confidence.”

No good, no good. As the captain of the household guard, I cannot relax. I accidentally broke into a smile, but I restrained myself.

But still, what a magnanimous personage Tilea-sama is!

That day I misunderstood her to be slighting Camilla-sama and turned my fists towards Tilea-sama. It was an outrageous thing to do.

Not only did Tilea-sama not punish a fool such as myself, but she even allowed me to serve her. And probably because she had quite some interest in me, she was kind enough to ask about me, from my birth to my military history. I ended up proudly recounting my military exploits despite myself. A truly embarassing thing to have done.

Tilea-sama is the esteemed elder sister of Camilla-sama, and the host to fearsome power. And I am able to serve such a person. As a warrior, there is no greater joy. Indeed; I am Tilea-sama’s sword, and shield, her faithful servant, a dog.

I recalled Tilea-sama’s words from earlier. She ordered me to ignore herself and Camilla-sama, and instead do my job; in other words, Tilea-sama ordered “We don’t need bodyguards, so so all of you, carry out your duties.”. We of the household guard do more than just protect our lady. Our duties include annihilating the enemy as well.

Huhu, as expected of Tilea-sama. Rather than defence, she seems to prefer offence.

Tilea-sama, please leave it to me. I will show you the indiscriminate annihilation of all who threaten your path to domination!

While trembling at the thought of Tilea-sama’s order, I headed to the plains where the members of our unit were waiting.

After a few hours, I arrived at the plains they were stationed at, north of Beruga town. Five hundred members of our household guard were orderly waiting on standby.

“Everyone, you have waited.”

“My, it’s Captain Nielsen. We have been humbly waiting.”

“Everyone, Captain Nielsen has returned.”

The orderly soldiers upon noticing my return began to grow noisy. Everyone is excitedly and impatiently awaiting their orders.

And that is understandable. We of the household guard are warriors; and after reviving after thousands of years, we can finally fight.

To convey Tilea-sama’s orders, I look over the soldiers.

That day, when I told them that we would be betraying the Demon King Army, as expected, discomposure spread through our unit. Demon King Zorg is a special existence to we demons after all.
However, when I told them that it was Camilla-sama’s orders, the unrest immediately stopped. We of the household guard are chosen elites that swear absolute allegiance to Camilla-sama. If Camilla-sama so orders, whether they be a god or a demon king, we have the mettle to defeat them. That’s why it was impossible for there to be any discontent to begin with.

As expected of the household guard that I am so proud of!

And then, I told them about Camilla-sama’s esteemed elder sister, Tilea-sama. Tilea-sama was the reincarnation of the Evil God Dark Matter, and was the possessor of unfathomable power. And I passionately told them that she was the master that our master Camilla-sama had offered her body and heart to serve.

Indeed; Tilea-sama is the master of our master. A lofty, yet grand being. We are being permitted to serve such a grand personage. Naturally, all members of our unit trembled, moved.

Very shortly I will be telling them Tilea-sama’s words, and there is no mistaking that they will be even more moved than they were on that day. I stepped forward before the soldiers on standby to convey Tilea-sama’s words.

“I will now be reporting Tilea-sama’s words!”

“”Understood-!””

All members dropped to a knee, and lowered their heads. They had all moved together without missing a beat.

“Tilea-sama’s words were 『Accomplish your duties』. Henceforth, we, formerly known as the Demon King Army, will now begin mobilising as the Evil God Army Household Guard Unit.”

“”Understood-!””

From now on, working towards obtaining information on the Demon King Army is our foremost priority. As the Evil God Army, the Demon King Army will be our greatest enemy. We must pay utmost attention to their movements.

Being the case…

“Belnandes, begin searching the area within a twenty kilometre radius of Beruga town. If you find the spies of the Demon King Army, or anything else of suspicion, report to me at any time.”

“By your will.”

Belnandes quietly answered. Belnandes Bo Macdo. He serves as the Camilla Unit’s intelligence operative. In every battlefield he performs duties as a spy, and in setting up the logistics. In tasks behind the scenes, there are none greater than him. Enough that they say that, in the shadow of Camilla-sama’s victories, lies Belnandes. If it is Belnandes, then I suspect we will be able to promptly acquire information about the Demon King Army, and deal with it.

The information we need next is on the military strength of the human side. I will decide on the unit that will infiltrate the royal capital. When it comes to infiltration, Belnandes would be suitable, but he will have his hands full in dealing with the Demon King Army.

In that case…

“Ortissio, pick thirty troops and hide in the royal capital of the Kingdom of Arkudas, and gather information. In particular, I want to know the war potential of the humans of this era.”

“Understood-! After selecting some men, I will head to the royal capital.”

Ortissio replied with an enthusiastic voice. Ortissio Bo Bach. In the Camille Unit, he is the most talented after Mühen. He has a quick tempered side to him, but he holds enough power to compensate for that. Besides Belnandes, there is no great difference in the information gathering skills of the others. At present when we know nothing of the human’s military strength, it will be fine to leave it to Ortissio, who is suited for fighting, even amongst our men.

For now, I will entrust the information gathering of the Demon King Army and human strength to them. Next, I must think about Magic Beast Gargan’s management. When it comes to magic beasts, there is probably only him.

“Muram, I leave the control of Magic Beast Gargan to you. Additionally, until Ortissio’s information arrives, I do not want the humans to notice the existence of Gargan. Erase all eyewitnesses.”

“Understood-! As you command.”

Muram replied, in his own zone. Muram Bo Fischer. The foremost summoner of the Camilla Unit. In the great war of old, using hundreds of magic beasts, enemy soldiers were devoured to death. If it is he who understands the language of the magic beasts, then we will be able to smoothly deal with Gargan’s concealment and management.

Finally, what’s left to be concerned about is revenge from the Demon King Army. The vanguard of the enemy will likely be one of the Six Demon Generals, Kira. If it’s Kira who detests Camilla-sama like poison, they would probably gleefully attack us. We’re leaving the spies to Belnandes, so it will work out somehow. We’ll immediately be able to catch hold of the timing of their attack. Also, to ambush the Kira Unit…

“Mühen, lead a unit and attack the Demon King Army’s Kira Unit, and while absorbing their power, engage in guerilla warfare.”

“Understood.”

Mühen replied in a calm voice. Mühen Bo Eret. The finest swordsman of the Camilla Unit, and my right-hand man. Mühen has been the cornerstone of support for our unit in numerous battles. There is nobody but him who can hold back one of the Six Demon Generals. Even if we leave Kira himself to Tilea-sama or Camilla-sama, we need a commander to hold back the Kira Unit if they attack. I will be coordinating this as a whole, so I’ll leave the finer details to Mühen.

“Mühen, our army is of small number. I think I will be forcing you into a difficult battle.”

“Captain, was the Retreat at Velaad not different to this? Please leave it to me.”

The Retreat at Velaad…

Our army was under pursuit by forces numbering ten times our own. Against those enemy soldiers who kept gushing forth no matter how many we killed, just how many times had we prepared ourselves for death? Even in that situation, Mühen continued to calmly support the unit, managed a retreat to Demon Capital Benz unharmed, and accomplished a miraculous result. He is the same as always, isn’t he. Mühen is giving the same smile he did at that time. Even in a disadvantageous battle, he loses not even a little fighting spirit; he is a true warrior.

“Phew, it was a needless worry, wasn’t it. If it’s you, you’ll do just fine. I’m counting on you.”

“Understood. I’ll let that Kira guy savour the taste of boiling water. Just watch.”

Everyone is full of morale. All the soldiers are dazzlingly overflowing with fighting spirit.

I took a breath.

“Henceforth, the Evil God Army commences its trampling of enemies!”

“”Understood-! For the sake of the Grand Tilea-sama, and our beloved and respected Camilla-sama, my lady!””

Belnandes Bo Macdo Ortissio Bo Bach
Muram Bo Fischer Mühen Bo Eret

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