Turf War – Chapter 10

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Chapter 10 – “We’re in danger of bankruptcy at this rate.”

GYABON! T-, This month is in the red as well…

I collapsed onto my table in shock.

Ever since “Restaurant Berum – Capital Branch” has opened, not once have we ever made a profit.

Why? Why is this happening? Our food isn’t any worse than the other restaurants. No, actually we could even brag that we’re two ranks above everyone else. But then why aren’t we making money?

Isn’t it weird? We get a decent amount of customers too…

Or could it be that just this amount isn’t enough?

This is impossible. I’m a total amateur in terms of management. I can’t tell what’s happening at all. After all, I’ve never had to think about the management side of things before. Instead of wasting my life being a NEET I should’ve picked up some classes in administration damn it!

Even back home, it was Dad and I doing the cooking, with Mum doing all the management so I don’t have any of the expertise at all.

But does that really have to mean that our restaurant makes such a huge loss?

I glared at my account book. Written in red ink, the numbers ‘30,000,000 gold’ stared back at me.

Wife, it’s 30,000,000 gold! 30,000,000 gold!

Haha, that’s enough of a debt to crush two or three small shops. Normally we’d have to declare bankruptcy. We’re only holding on because Or keeps endlessly contributing money. If he ever stops, our shop would be done for in an instant. I’d have nothing but debt left.

Hahh~ Will Or finally snap when I tell him we’re in the red again?

Or already contributed everything to the restaurant’s start-up. Even if it’s reparations for when he attacked me, this much is still way pushing it. I’m really taking it all.

Alright. Time to come up with a plan to turn this around without relying on Or anymore.

-poku poku poku… ching!-

The answer has come to me… Quite frankly, it’s impossible. It’s absolutely impossible to come up with some plan to pay back thirty million gold.

Hahh~ I’m just a huge failure of a manager. If I went on that Tigers’ Den show, I’d be done for sure. “You’re looking down on society!” they’d yell at me, “You’ve never seriously worked once in your life, have you?” they’d say at me…

But anyway, for this month at least, I’ll just have to rely on Or’s pity.

Having decided that, I headed down into the Evil God Army’s secret hideout.

I wonder where Or is.

With brisk steps, I wandered the hallways of the underground.

And then… There he is.

Or was whole-heartedly training in Gravity Room C. Incidentally, there are four training rooms in this underground empire, ranked from A to D in terms of gravitational strength. According to Timu, Gravity Room A is 100G’s, and right now it’s being used exclusively by Timu. Gravity Room B is 50G’s and is being used by only Pervert(Nielsen) and Dryas-kun. Gravity Room C is 30G’s and is where all the other leaders are training.

Geez, these guys sure love this kind of stuff. I tried out the other gravity rooms myself and they really did feel heavier. Only barely though.

Apparently Timu analysed my Pettanko spell and applied it to each of the rooms. Honestly, why are these guys so fixated on chuunibyou. Thanks to that, there’s always somebody in there.

As I mentioned, Or was in Gravity Room C. It felt just a little heavier in there. I could only barely feel it. But it’s nice, having just a little extra weight to train.

Training in an enhanced gravity environment…

Honestly an opportunity that would make any chuunibyou drool. Or was training hard in the 30 times(lol) gravity room just like some manga character.

I walked towards him as he continued his sit-ups. When he noticed me coming, he immediately stood up and ran over to me though.

“Why if it isn’t Tilea-sama.”

“Sorry for disturbing you during your training.”

“Not at all, I was just about finished.”

How do I break this to him? I’m telling him about a debt, so I can’t mess this up.

“Aahh~ Ortissio-san. There is a large favour that I would like to ask of you.”

“Whatever you need,” smiled Or as he wiped his sweat down.

I’m sorry, Or. What I’m about to say will destroy that smile of yours.

“The truth is… It is very difficult to say this, but the truth is that I am in a rather difficult position.

“Tilea-sama, there is no need to mince words with the likes of me. Please stop. Whatever problems you may face, I, the lowly Ortissio, will put my life on the line to help you.”

I suppose he has a point. It’s weird if I suddenly change the way I speak. I suppose you would be suspicious if a friend you’re casual with suddenly begins talking so politely. This is bad. Did I make a mistake in the way I started this conversation? Maybe it would have been better to just been straight with him.

Okay. Forget about being subtle about it. I’ll just tell him.

“Ahh~ Or, so, you know that shop I’m managing upstairs?”

“Yes.”

“Teheh♪ I’m in the red again this month. And so, please lend me more money!”

Was I too casual about it? I tried sounding casual and friendly as usual. Did it work? Or looked completely stunned for some reason.

“Tilea-sama, when you said you were in a difficult position I thought it would be a bit more serious. I understand. I will provide funds as usual.”

Eh? What’s with his attitude? Is that fine? I’m going to take advantage of you like this. No matter how rich your dad is, if you keep using his money like this he won’t be happy about it…

“Is something the matter, Tilea-sama? Will the usual amount be insufficient? In that case, I will provide even…”

“Ahh~ Wait, wait! Is this really okay? To be blunt, I’ve borrowed tens of millions of gold from you already, you know.”

“Tilea-sama, I must sincerely apologise. I have only given you some tens of millions of gold…? In that case I must increase the――”

“NOOOOOOO! That’s not it! D-Don’t you realise that this much debt would be enough to crush a normal shop? It pains me to say this but are you really going keep investing in a horrible manager like me!?”

Perhaps he finally understood how serious this was after my shouting because Or’s expression turned meek. Yeah. Please think about this carefully. You might really throw away your family’s fortune at this rate.

“In other words, you are lamenting the loss of capital for our Evil God Army. Correct, Tilea-sama?”

“W-Well, I suppose if you express it the way you guys do, that’s right. Because of my management of the shop, we’ve made a loss of 30,000,000 gold.”

“Please be at ease. Just that much is nothing much. It will have no effect on the operations of our Evil God Army.”

This son of a major noble family smiled brightly at me. Oi, oi, thirty million gold is “nothing much”? Just how damned rich are you.

“T-, Then, you’ll provide money as well, this month?”

“Why of course. I could double the amount if it pleases you. And besides, everything in this world belongs to you to begin with, Tilea-sama. Please do not be so worried and just spend as you please.”

Oi, oi, are you telling me to spend your family’s fortune as I please? Is this Pretty Woman or something? I’m seriously going to run into a shop and buy “everything from here to here“, okay.

“Aah~ Then, if I asked you for a hundred million gold…?”

“I would prepare it at once.”

Oi, this guy just replied without a millimetre of hesitation, you know.

Why is this guy going so far for me…?

-gasp!- Don’t tell me!

“Say, Or, could it be that you’ve fallen for me?”

Nothing would make me guiltier. After all, my heart already belongs to Remilia-san. Taking money from somebody you’ll never love back is just horrible.

Tell me, Or. What’s your answer.

“Of course I have. The depths of your mighty power is like an unfathomable abyss, and each day I tremble with delight at having the opportunity to serve one as sublime as you.”

Fumu, then I guess this is like the relationship between Pervert(Nielsen) and Timu. Rather than liking me romantically, I’m more like a member of an idol group. You know, in my past life I heard about diehard fans buying several hundred CDs of their favourite idol. But man, as a rich noble, the scale that Or operates on is in a whole other league.

In the end, it seems that the debt I was wracking my brains over was nothing much to Or. In that case, maybe it would be fine to just keep relying on him――wai-, as if it would be fine!

*妹*

At this rate Or is going to become bankrupt because of me. It’s not like the money just grows on trees. I’m not a sinful woman, okay. I’m happy that he’s helping me with money, but at this rate I’m just going to send him straight down the path of bankruptcy. No matter how much he spoils Or and how much he loves Or, even Or’s dad would have to disown him at that point.

“Or, money isn’t something that you can just waste. Please stop thinking that you can just use it however you wish. That way of thinking will ruin you one day.”

“M-, My deepest apologies. Then in that case, shall we destroy the restaurant upstairs to reduce the expenditure of our army?”

GABOH-! O-, Oh no…

That’s putting the cart before the horse then. I want to be a cook in the Royal Capital. Tilea, haven’t you forgotten the goal here? I got too carried away because of how ridiculous Or’s money sense was, but I originally came here to borrow money off of him. There was no need to lecture him on how to spend his money.

“Or, that would trouble me.”

“I see. Since cooking is your hobby, it would not do at all to destroy the restaurant.”

“Wha-!? What did you say just now?”

“Oh, as I said, it would not do to destroy the restaurant.”

“No, before that.”

“Since cooking is your hobby――HAGUH-, GUWAAHH!”

Before I knew it, I had Or’s face in a vicegrip. I was so angry that I was just squeezing it. Or screamed as his head creaked.

Or was groaning in pain…

But I won’t forgive him! He said that my cooking was just a hobby! A professional like me, as a hobby!?

“Or! Are you trying to say that I’m just some beginner in your eyes?”

“GAh, hah, n-never would I, say such a thing… I-, I simply, hahh, hah, wanted to say, that even busy on your road to conquest, hahh, you had even reached such, a level on the side――HOGGYAHH!”

“Or! Are you trying to say that I’m just cooking to kill time on the side?”

His words poured more oil onto the fire, and my iron claw grew tighter. Or ended up spasming into unconsciousness.

Fumu, did I go a bit far? Since he made light of my cook’s spirit the blood kinda rushed to my head.

But this is a grave situation. Or probably thought of me as just some amateur because the shop is in the red all the time. It’s obvious that some hobbyist amateur is making a loss, he thinks.

Could it be that all the other leaders see me the same way? If that’s the case it’s, it’s unforgivable! You’ve wounded my pride.

If that’s how it is, then I need to make a profit no matter what.

I’ll immediately form a plan and…

I know! Don’t I have a strategist for these things. I have a very reliable wise general, don’t I. Why didn’t I think to ask him for advice first. I’ll go ask him now!

After laying Or onto the ground, I immediately went to look for Dryas-kun.

Ummm, Dryas-kun is…?

I searched through the needlessly large underground empire. When I asked a passerby, I was told that he was in the conference room.

“Dryas-ku~n, heeeeelp meeeee~”

I quickly trotted into the room.

The very moment I arrived, I threw the door open. Inside were Dryas-kun, Timu, and Pervert(Nielsen) discussing something or other.

Oh!? So these guys were here too. Perfect. I’ll ask these two what they think as well. As research, it’s better to ask for other opinions. Maybe I should ask the other leaders what they think too…

I’ll have the three of them stop their discussions and gather the rest of the leaders. I mean, these three are probably just playing around anyway.

Ah!? Wait, hang on. That might not necessarily be true. What if they’re talking about Edim? In that case, that takes precedence over the shop.

“Sorry for disturbing you during your discussion, you three.”

“”Why if it isn’t Tilea-sama.””

“Umm~ Are you guys talking about Edim?”

“No, we were adjusting the deployment of troops on expedition to the Manafint Confederation.”

Yup, just playing. Geez, their life sure is relaxing~ I’m completely envious. Even though I’m worrying about the restaurant, and even had that terrifying meeting with Remilia-san and the others…

And what do they mean deployment? Have they started playing something like military airsoft? It sounds interesting so normally I’d ask about it, but right now isn’t the time for that. My pride as a chef is on the line here.

“Um, let’s stop talking about manawhatchits for a moment. I have a pressing matter to discuss. Could you call all the leaders here?”

“Understood. I shall immediately convene them,”

said Pervert(Nielsen) before leaving the room.

“It’s rare for you to bring something up yourself, Tilea-sama.”

“Yeah. I kinda need to borrow your heads for a little bit…”

“If you have any problems, Oneesama, I shall spare no efforts to aide you.”

Timu’s words were reassuring. Yep, yep, three heads are better than one. It was a much better idea to call the leaders here instead of agonising by myself.

Well, my star of hope is still Dryas-kun, though. Still, I’ll be making suggestions too. Like um, how about lunchtime special coupons?


If I went on that Tigers’ Den show, I’d be done for sure.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragons%27_Den


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39 thoughts on “Turf War – Chapter 10”

  1. Thank you for the chapter and great work!omg she’s calling the demon lords army to talk about coupons, I wonder how she’ll be misunderstood this time.

    Like

  2. Hell yes, a new Tilea chapter.

    It’s always hilarious to me to read Tilea’s thoughts on Or, especially when she whips out the corporeal punishment on him. All the suffering he goes through only endears him even more to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. When Tilea orders salt they probably think regular salt isn’t good enough and get some ridiculously expensive salt obtained from the bottom of the ocean in a magical underwater river populated by a fish with salt “jewels” on it’s body.
      Since they refuse anything but the most ridiculous and expensive thing.
      Now repeat that with every single ingredient, or remotely restaurant related situation.

      Liked by 5 people

  3. Thank goodness for fiat currencies or my head would’ve exploded from her “small business” level debt making up of, perhaps, a thousandth of all gold ever on earth.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. How the… that level of debt must be crazy. If it isn’t payroll expenses then it must be rent or goods. Just what is she spending the money on?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. What the?! what is she spending all that money on? is she like hoarding top class ingredients and making gourmet food only to sell it cheap?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thanks for the chapter! I love how Tilea’s worries always makes me smile and laugh even when I feel down, Thank you very much.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Really looking forward to reading how they will interpret this discussion. Thanks for the chapter. Also, if some wild mass guessing is allowed and if none suggested it yet, I have a theory about her being the Devil King. Until some recent events I mostly assumed that Zorg was just some independent entity stuck in her body for some reason, but I guess it might not be true. The first point of my theory is that Tilea shows some serious personality changes when acting on her Chuuni impulses and is remarkably capable of ignoring things that could change her worldview. The second is that little dialogue almost in the beginning, where Timu and Nielsen suggest that she must have leveled up a few times in the other world, which struck me as foreshadowing for some reason. If that bit true, she might really be a twice-reincarnated Demon King. Than, Tilea’s current personality might have been created by Zorg to fit in on Earth and ended up being dominant due to some fluke)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Not some fluke but rather by design. If you think about it, exactly what was Zorgs original goal anyway? Even back then he could have easily massacred everyone if he felt like it. The only ones that could have stopped him were those gods. What is more, three of his original “four heavenly Kings” became axe crazy and started slaughtering people randomly. If Zorg had wished for massacre why seal them up? Rather, even if his power was only a tenth of what it is now as Tilea, he could have destroyed them with a wave of his hand… so why allow them to live?

      The reason is simple, Zorg was never blood thirsty but rather he was always Chuuni. So he didn’t really wish for anyone to die.

      However demons by their very nature are very Chuuni and violent. They love power and can’t really sympathize with what human think of as normal.

      But much like how watching ants can be fun, not only did Zorg view demons as ants no different than humans… He also wished to just have fun.

      Even if he conquered the entire world… what would he do with it once everyone were dead or slaves?

      In this chapter Or says that everything in the world belongs to Tilea… yet even saying this, nobody in the evil God army seem to fully realize what this means… Timu is even aware that if Tilea simply stopped surpressing her power and released it, then her aura itself would immidiatelly kill everyone in the entire capital… In fact it would badly affect everyone in the entire country… and this is just the minimum. So if she really wanted it, she could destroy the entire world within less than a minute. Timu’s reasoning is that Tilea’s experiences in her previous world has left her overly cautious… But even that should be called into question if she just gave it some thougt…

      Rather, everything already belongs to Tilea. Whether the Evil God Army invades an area or not doesn’t really matter. Even if an area was invaded, unless everyone were killed, made into slaves or turned into vampires, in the end there would be some form of self governance in the end. So invaded or not, the end result would still be the same.

      Zorg never cared about such things and neither does Tilea.

      Zorg wanted a fun human life setup for himself that he could experience as Tilea. Timu reincarnating as Tilea’s little sister was no doubt by design, and I would not be surprised if her awakening was done by Zorg. Rather, I would not be surprised at all if the mother and father are actually Carmilla’s original demon parents reincarnated, only Zorg has made sure that they haven’t awakened yet.

      Meanwhile he deliberately split the army in two so that he could keep his demons happy since they are all Chuuni and need to feel that they are fighting a strong opponent.

      That said, I have not read any of the Japanese raws, so this is just conjecture on my part.

      Like

  8. Thanks very much for the chapter, oh esteemed holy sheeprabbit! This is one of the most entertaining novels I’ve read recently, and as always your translation is excellent.
    I’m rooting for Tilea’s romance with Remilia! :P
    Also, kind of hoping there’s a Timu or Jessica chapter soon to show her school life with her new toys. :D

    Like

  9. I was just rereading the novel when I came up with a new theory. Zorg said earlier that there were some complications and jessica said Tilea had more of pure/light feeling. What if the heors soul was used to seal the demon king. So the hero’s soul is also in tilea and is supressing zorg. Then tilea is just the third personality that runs the body until either the hero or demon king win.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There was no hero. All the gods sacrificed themselves to defeat Zorg. In the process they lost all their powers. So Zorg basically merged with that power. But no, there was never anything about another soul… Rather think about it… Why would there be a second soul? Where would it come from? And why would it be able to have that much power?

      Look at those scenes again, you can clearly see that Zorg is able to control her body at any time she wants and do anything… Yet instead of simply getting rid of Jessica, Zorg just changed her memory.

      Tilea could destroy the entire world with less than a minute. The gods a had to sacrifice themselves to defeat Zorg. Zorg/Tilea is at least ten or maybe a hundred times more powerful than Zorg was back then.

      The gods no longer exist.
      Zorg can at any time take control of the body…

      So no. As with everything else in this story, it is a comedy. Zorg wants things to stay exactly the way that they are. Zorg just wants to live as Tilea and enjoy life… and only steps in when something threatens that life or when she has to set up some “fun” that will keep her Chuuni demons happy.

      Like

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