Tl’d by Himmel (Hime)

Edited by Hitler and Doom-kun

Tlc’d by Kou-san (I have no idea what’s going on; Nazis invaded)

The Adorable Bandit-san

 

“HYAAAHAAAA! HAND OVER EVERYTHING YOU HAAAVE!!”

 

The reason I can understand this world’s language is thanks to the Language Translation skill. It’s a really convenient ability since my words are also translated and delivered to the other party, so I don’t have to worry about having any issues while conversing. As expected of the daily special.

 

If I focus with this ability, I can even communicate with animals, but as expected, there is really no need to go that far. Let’s just limit the effectiveness to humans as it had been up till now. It’s an ability that can be configured like that too.

 

…Be that as it may, what’s with this cliche?

 

The bandit’s lines seemed like they had already been heard by half of humanity.

 

Despite thinking that, for the time being, I decided to stage a showy entrance in order to make my existence known.

 

I rushed to the location between the horse drawn cart and the three bandits before abruptly stopping with all my strength. The sudden deceleration whips up a flashy dust cloud.

 

I sprinted here barefoot and even though my feet have gouged a hole in the ground, it doesn’t hurt at all. Vampires sure are sturdy.

If I were still human, it would have been impossible to create this meteorite-like impact like circumstance with a regular human body. Vampires sure are amazing.

 

“W-What the-!?”

 

Even in the cloud of dust, I could comprehend that the three bandits and the horse drawn carriage have stopped. Thanks to my enhanced sense of smell I can understand what’s around me.

 

…Ah, there’s an amazing smell coming from the carriage.

 

Some kind of sausage or preserved meat…also the sweet smell of bread and vegetables. The more I focus on it the hungrier I become. Having a strong sense of smell can also be a problem.

… Let’s finish this quickly and claim a reward.

While I was thinking about such things, the cloud of dust dispersed and I confronted the three bandits.

The bandit facing me on my right pointed at me with a trembling finger,

 

“B-Boss! A pervert came out of the dust cloud!”

 

Oh, that kind of reaction huh.

 

Certainly, I’m not wearing any clothes right now. Looking at my body once again, I have long silver hair that seemed to wrap around my body mostly covering the important parts, but no matter how you look at it  I’m naked. It probably can’t be helped that I’m treated as a female pervert.

 

Well, that doesn’t matter right now anyway. What’s really important now is that I satisfy my hunger.

 

“Umm, excuse me bleeding forehead merchant-san”

 

“Y-Yes!?”

 

I turned around and the merchant bleeding from his forehead replied while covering his face with his hands.

 

To not look at a naked woman’s body, how very gentlemanly…or so I thought, until I saw him staring at my butt through the gaps between his fingers. Huh, he was just your typical closet pervert.

 

“If you give me food I’ll help you out, so what will it be?”

“Huh…what?”

“ No, I’m saying if you give me food I’ll save you. If you don’t want that I’ll immediately go somewhere else, so what will it be?”

“Err, then, please…”

“Okay, your request has been accepted.”

 

Obviously the other party was confused, but he agreed to my offer. I got him to agree, so it’s my win in this situation. *Grin*

 

Well then, let’s help him as promised.

I’m passionless but I don’t like to break promises. Promises are something meant to be kept. Because I’ve made one, I’ll properly keep it. Swallowing a thousand needles is scary anyway.

 

“Well then…From the right, you’re Overgrown Leghair-san, Caped Baldy-san, and Semi-visible Nosehair-san.“

 

“““WHAT’S WITH THOSE NAMES!?”””

They splendidly harmonized. The three of them actually harmonized their dissatisfaction. I thought the nicknames captured their unique features, but it looks like they don’t like them.

 

Good grief, whether it’s these guys or Loligramps-san, they’re such selfish people. Be like bleeding from his forehead merchant-san and show me you can obediently accept the name.

 

“Overgrown Leghair-san, Caped Baldy-san, did you want Semi-visible Nosehair-san’s name?”

“““THAT WASN’T THE PROBLEM!!!”””

 

Again they harmonized. They sure do get along~.

 

While I was thinking about what to call them, the three bandits simultaneously jumped off their horses. As they did so, they somersaulted in midair and landed on the ground elegantly. Each of them took a strange pose and started to give a speech.

 

“I am the chain and sickle, Chihuahua!”

“I am the explosive, Dachs!”

“And finally there’s the amazing me, the knife thrower, Terrier!! All together we three are the Terrier Bandit Troupe! “

 

“…Pff-“

 

“““IS THERE SOMETHING FUNNY!?”””

 

“S-Sorry, just give me a minute…Pffhaha”

 

…Don’t you all have names of small dogs?

Since it’s another world, the meaning might be different. From my perspective though, all three of them are dogs! And small dog breeds at that!

 

The three all look tough, but their names…Ah, this is bad. I’m completely stuck on the dog thing.. To make matters worse, the three of them seem to be pretty honorable; they’re just watching me laugh at them while their shoulders shake in anger. That barely contained trembling looks just like a puppy’s…

 

“Aha, ahahahaha! I can’t take it anymore, what’s with that? It’s so cute…Ahahahahahha!”

 

“You bastard…Don’t get so cocky!”

 

“Kyaan!?”

 

Chain and sickle Chihuahua-chan, in accordance to his name, used a chain and sickle to attack me.

The sickle that Chihuahua-chan was holding has a chain attached to its body and a counterweight on the other end. A pretty typical chain and sickle appearance.

 

The horizontally swung chain wrapped around my body. As Chihuahua-chan pulled the chain, it constricted and the counterweight got caught in the chain, completing a lock.

 

… Ahh, so this is how the chain and sickle catches its opponents.

I’m surprised. And then since my surprised voiced sounded unexpectedly feminine, I became even more surprised.

 

As expected, even though I have the consciousness of a male, my body is that of a female. No way, I’m being forcefully turned into a girl…!

 

“Guhehe…I don’t know why there’s a pervert in this place but what a fine jewel this is. Acting all carefree…After we thoroughly enjoy ourselves, we’ll sell you off to the slave dealer!”

 

I’m sorry, but losing my virginity only three days after being born is a little bit too much for me.

 

There was a part of me that was still going with the flow, but if it becomes like that, then at least be a bit cooler, have stable income, let me roll around without having to do anything, and smile with a friendly grin while accepting anything I ask, that kind of person is good! As a parasitic target, I mean, lover!

 

“Oi oi, haven’t you become rather calm? Ahh!? Do you understand the situation you’re in?”

 

“Ah, Yes yes, I understand perfectly, Chihuahua-chan”

 

“Calling me with –chan…You bastard, it looks like you won’t understand till I seriously violate you at least once! “

 

Chihuahua-chan’s veins stood out as he pulled tightly on the chain. He started to draw me in, or so he had planned.

 

“Hng-!?”

 

… It’s not good to think that I’m that powerless okay?

 

I only lightly put some power into my legs, but with Chihuahua-chan’s degree of strength, I didn’t budge. A look as if something unbelievable just happened settled onto Chihuahua’s face.

 

“W-Why…!?”

 

“You also, can you see the situation you are in?”

 

In the first place, three mob characters challenging an opponent without thinking is quite a stupid thing to do.

 

The reason why I decided to appear in front of them is quite simple. It’s because from the people standing in front of me, I don’t feel any wonder or amazement.

 

For example, it feels like I’m looking at hamsters in a cage. See, there’s no sense of danger to be felt right? Rather, you’d think it’s an adorable thing to look at.

 

Somehow, it seems I can currently grasp the strength of my opponents just by looking at them. Specifically, by smelling them.

 

This is the “Blood Reading” skill. With this skill, I can grasp information on my opponent’s ability through their blood, but somehow, from the smell of their blood I can also get a general understanding of how strong they are as well.

 

My opponents haven’t spilt any blood yet. But even still, at this distance, my nose can tell approximately what kind of blood they have every time. This is thanks to the Enhanced Olfaction skill.

Meaning, this information was obtained by using Blood Reading and Enhanced Olfaction together.

 

… Well, I already maxed out Blood Reading anyway.

 

It was a little unreasonable, but the fact that it became unusually convenient is not a laughing matter. Reaching this effect with just smell every time that is.

 

For example, even if they all teamed up against me, I wouldn’t receive even a scratch. Because I have such confidence, that’s why I have been so carefree.

 

“Heave-ho.”

 

Since the chains felt annoying, I turned the upper half of my body into fog and slipped out. This is the “Fog-Form” ability. I can even turn each of my body parts into fog individually. Very convenient.

 

“W-Wha…!?”

 

“Tch…Dachs!”

 

“Got it, boss.”

 

Unlike the dumbfounded Chihuahua-chan, Terrier-chan calmly gave Dachs-chan instructions.

Dachs-chan took out a round object from his breast pocket. The round object had a cord-like substance connected to it, and Dachs-chan lit it on fire with a match.

 

Since it seems your name is “Explosive Dachs,” that is without a doubt a bomb right?

“How about this!!”

 

Dachs-chan took up a clean pitching position, and with an overhand throw, he tossed the bomb.

Isn’t this, a pretty tight situation I’m in?

 

“What will you do if you damage the goods…Wind-san, I’ll leave it to you”

 

Wind Magic.

 

I only have one point allocated in it so I can’t do anything amazing but, summoning some wind is no problem.

 

As I wanted, a sudden gust appeared and blew the bomb back to the source, the perpetrators; goodbye… Ah. The fire didn’t go out.

 

““Uheeeee!?””

 

“Get down, men!”

 

Thanks to Terrier-chan promptly pushing the two down, it seems that the three of them didn’t take any damage.

 

The sound of the explosion resounded fairly impressively, but looking at it, the power wasn’t that much. Since I decided to take them alive, I should use something with less gunpowder huh.

 

“Ku…You bastard, you aren’t an ordinary pervert are you!”

 

“Ehh, well…I’m not a pervert though”

 

Since my feelings are that of a male’s, molester…No, that also has a bad implication to it.

 

Anyway, it’s not like I’m not wearing clothes because I like it or anything. Being called a pervert is upsetting, okay?

 

“If it’s become like this, then I don’t care if there’s some injuries. With my knife throwing-”

 

“Wind-san, please”

 

“““UWAAAAAAAAA!?”””

 

Since I’m going to get really hungry soon, it’s time to end this.

 

I abundantly gathered my magic power, and with it, I summoned a sudden gust of wind.

 

Even though what I did was simple, if I increase the input, the scale of the spell becomes bigger; it seems like this is one of the rules of magic in this world. The manual in my head doesn’t seem to be false so with peace of mind, I confidently made use of my power to fully charge the magic.

 

Once I gathered up a vast amount of magic power to create a gust, it became a giant vortex, swallowing up the small breed dog-guys and blowing them away.

 

Splendidly harmonized screams were heard as they left their horses behind and the figures of the Terrier Bandit Troupe disappeared from my view.

 

“Haaa, I’m really hungry now”

 

They were pretty interesting so I wanted play with them some more, but right now, getting some food is my top priority.

 

Well I more or less went easy on them, so I don’t think they’ll die.

 

Probably.