Evil God Average

Commemoration SS: Autobiography – “Anri and Her Happy Friends”

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“…Nothing to do.”

A mutter left my mouth.
But it couldn’t be helped. There really was nothing to do.

The money I got from the me that I left in the Temple was quite a sum. Enough to live on for a while yet. Because of that, there was no need to work.
Unlike when I was a dungeon master, there was nobody aiming for my life either.
The peaceful life that I wished for was… Although there were the occasional disturbances, it was mostly a peaceful everyday for me.

It was basically everything I had wished for, so I do think it was being extravagant to complain about it now, but I really, really had nothing to do.

Because I was just so free, I even tried things I would normally never even consider doing.

“I know. I’ll write an autobiography.”

Later, when I calmed down a little, I realised that I should have thought about it a little more carefully.

◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

Far from being thrown into a world with only the clothes on my back, I was abandoned in a forest with not even a shred of fabric on me. Then I joined a guild, became a dungeon master, became a god, got into an argument with the God of Light and God of Darkness, and finally, after all that, went back to being a human. Thinking about it, you could say that my life was the perfect illustration of ‘filled with ups and downs’...
Or so I’d like to say, but considering my age, it feels a little early to be reflecting over my life like this. On the other hand, just this year alone was eventful enough to last me a lifetime.

“………………”

Thinking about it now, a lot of the events were actually headache inducing──or rather, pretty much everything that happened was headache inducing──but considering how colorful (or perhaps intense) all my experiences were, I’d say that at least my autobiography won’t be lacking in content.
Thinking that, I went to find the stationery that I used the time I was writing the scriptures, but when I did, I suddenly realised that I had overlooked a grave problem.

“What am I going to do about the enchantment curse?”

Last time, I wrote up some scriptures about living a virtuous lifestyle, but it ended up turning into a cursed book that was classified worldwide as belonging to the most terrifying class of dangerous items.
It happened because of the divine enchantment skill that I was given when I came to this world. An annoying skill that allowed me to instantly enchant something with the divine protection of an evil god, but that would also activate on its own after about an hour of contact.
If the target was a living being, then they would need to accept the divine protection, but if it was inanimate like a stationery set, then it would activate by itself.
Even a book of morals turned into a cursed scripture, so I couldn’t even imagine what my autobiography might turn into. I couldn’t imagine it, but I could say with certainty that it would be nothing good.

Learning from my previous mistakes, this time I was careful not to activate the enchantment.

“…This is hard.”

I decided to avoid contact with the paper and write with my pen hand held up in the air, but it turned out to be quite hard.
Normally I would write with my left hand holding the paper down, and with the pinkie of my right hand on the sheet, so writing like this ended up harder than expected. If you don’t believe me, just try it.
My hand wouldn’t stop shaking, and my handwriting turned into squiggles.
But it was obvious that giving up would be the same as screaming “Second cursed book, here we come!” so I continued writing as I corrected things over and over again.

“The heck are you doing?”

Leonora happened to wander in. She made an astounded look as she saw me seriously battling with the paper with my shaky hands, but I decided not to mind it.
Admittedly, I want to ask myself the same question, but it feels like I’d lose somehow if I gave up at this point, so I’ve decided not to look back.

“A new game?”

No, Lili, I’m writing very seriously here. It might look like some punishment game to an outsider, but I need to ignore that.

“Please don’t push yourself, Anri-sama.”

Tena’s kindness filled my heart so much that my vision blurred, and I couldn’t see the paper anymore.

*妹*

*妹*

With everybody’s warm (and somewhat stuffy) encouragement, I somehow managed to finish my autobiography.
Its title was──

This was a short, short story to commemorate the publication of Evil God Average.
Today, on the 7th of September, 2015, the first volume was published by Takarajimasha.
It is thanks to all my readers, and I am grateful.
If you see it in the store, please pick up a copy.

– Kitaseno Yunaki

*妹*

*妹*

*妹*

*妹*

*妹*

*妹*

*妹*

*妹*

*妹*

*妹*

*妹*

*妹*

*妹*

*妹*

Incidentally, Anri-san was desperately writing with trembling hands, but she honestly could have just taken a break every hour, and the curse wouldn’t have activated.

– Kitaseno Yunaki

Remember to buy the books! I’ll immortalise you in my hall of fame! If there are enough people, I’ll move the page to the front!

Buy the Book of Evil!
Satisfaction, guaranteed!

Buy the Book of God!
Prove your piety, today!

– Grand Arbiter and 5th Holy Sheeprabbit, Estelion Sharlulu Asheel Vinchance Celenalia di ef Falufiluu’Luufilaafee (The 35th)

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56 thoughts on “Commemoration SS: Autobiography – “Anri and Her Happy Friends””

  1. Pingback: Side Story 8 | お兄ちゃん、やめてぇ！

    3. not going to lie i was rather disappointed with this series. it was enjoyable but the fact they didn’t really expand upon the world she was in was disappointing. there was so much more the author could have done with this series. could have expanded upon the relationships between the countries, more on the church, more on really everything in this series. i’d rate it a 7/10. good overall but lacking in a lot of aspects

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        1. there’s a sequel? is that the one featuring the weak heroes that lost their holy weapons as the main characters?

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                2. Estel-sama, you’re having too much fun with that guy…

                  @Crimson Nanashi , the sequel was also on this site, though it doesn’t seem like Estel-sama’s been continuing the translation.

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                  1. The sequel is very shitty though. None of the feeling from the original work remained.

                    In fact, the ecchi and romance parts are the worst. Realy bad ecchi and romance.

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      2. I don’t know, I’ve seen plenty of series go bad because the author kept writing past the original inspiration… This one was enjoyable, even if shorter than some.

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        1. i thought it was enjoyable as well i just thought the world wasn’t expanded upon enough. the author showed a bit of the world and some relationship and then confined it all into a dungeon battle

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          1. This is basically a comedy. There is no need for a comedy to worldbuild, that is the wrong genre. The primary goal of the world framework is just enough background to make us laugh, not plan goals of global domination. Hence there was neither need nor inclination to go that deep into detail. In that case, the worldbuilding/infodump would actually be a distraction to the primary goal of making us laugh.

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            1. yet again i thought it was enjoyable series and very funny but the author went into a few details and then never touched upon them again. im not saying create an entire world story but it would have been nice to have more then 1 chapter about the military guys that attacked and 1 chapter about the church girl that was shocked when the barrier went down. just a personal preference of mine so to each their own

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              1. It is very short indeed. I don’t think the world needed to have been expanded, but the overall story feels a bit lacking.

                Maybe because it just… feels like it was a bit rushed ? Like, there is no sense of accomplishment in the end. So i used to think very highly of it, but then after a few months i just look back and think “well, isn’t this just bland ?”.

                Specially the part in the end where we discover Anri isn’t a transported person at all, but a being made from scratch by the “evil god”. That part was specialy…. distasteful.

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    4. what do you expect? it’s already written in the title : evil god AVERAGE.

      that being said, since I’m expecting it to be average, I found this story very satisfying because it managed to exceed my expectation

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          1. Indeed…. he was compelled to do this by the second curs- holy book. If he would not have… no – no I do not even wish to fathom the… consequences he would have had to bear… after all… it’s Anri’s forbidden- *Connection Lost*

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  8. I’m surprised the pen didn’t get cursed instead, and suddenly started writing in blood or something.

    Actually, what about the chairs she sits on, do they eventually become skull thrones? Maybe Leonora should kneel and become a chair for mistress Anri, just to be safe…

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  9. Thanks—-!

    lol Anri saying she’s bored! Well, considering how, um, eventful, her life had been that past year or so, there certainly would be a stark contrast. Lol writing an autobiography! B-But…it’s already been written, hasn’t it?! -breaks the fourth wall with a hammer- Anri—your suffering was futile— but, hm, indeed, to write it on your own, i suppose that is a different experience, ahaha!

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  11. This was a very fun story. I’m happy I read it. It probably should have had a better idea of where it would want to go for the second book though. The first book heavily played on how her eye powers inconvenienced her and set her up as this big enemy of the church that would now be caught in this war between two other gods. But most of that was dropped and just changed into this dungeon crawl. It was a fun dungeon crawl, but where did that development from before go? Since everyone around her wasn’t really affected by the eyes as well, it became almost pointless. Still, everything was very well written (and translated) and enjoyable, and that’s the most important thing.

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  12. Yaay! Anri-sama, I prostrate before your Mystic Eyes and cursed scripture. However, I must confess a sin to this Evil God. Over the course of my year stalking the blog, I ended up nicknaming you the Detailed Pantsu Goddess, to distinguish Your Unholiness from your parallel world peers. *Rolls around on the floor in a not so sincere apology.* I just like rolling.
    By the way, I have Eyes too. They’re Squinty though.

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  14. LOL Additionally, she could have appointed someone to write for her while she commentated. Many thanks for the chapter~~~~

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      1. I’m much too lazy to try to get a better shot (and probably incompetent enough to fail), so it is fine as-is. :)

        And yeah, you can use anowack as the name.

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  17. A bit late to the party, but thanks for the chapter!

    Just wondering, is this the last side story of EGA or are there more that still need translation?

    Wondering if I should put it on my completed list or not on Novel Updates…

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  21. Pingback: Chapter 2 – Evil God Statue – Part 1 | お兄ちゃん、やめてぇ！

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